


Ghost of You

by NiamJenn1994



Series: Put Your Lips Close to Mine as Long as They Don't Touch [1]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Bullying, Forgiveness, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Model!Louis, Mpreg, Not really., Past Child Abuse, Past Mpreg, Past Underage, Rape/Non-con Elements, Regret, Rejection, Suicide Attempt, Top!Harry, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, Violence, bottom!Louis, photographer!harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:14:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 40
Words: 216,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiamJenn1994/pseuds/NiamJenn1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Louis Tomlinson love was never meant for him or that's what he thought, that's what he used to tell him and he believed it. He did nothing but love Harry and all Harry did was destroy him. After four years of Louis avoiding Harry after he completely broke him he comes back into his life claiming what is his, begging for forgiveness and wanting what he could have had but threw away. To Louis he was just a ghost of the past, someone he still loves after everything and now his life is a mess.</p><p>Amazing trailer by allymets5 go check out her stories. :)</p><p>Trailer #1 http://youtu.be/X7VJR5YcKig</p><p>Trailer #2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kpnG5sRv6o&feature=youtu.be</p><p> </p><p>CHAPTERS WITH A * ARE THE ONES I'VE EDITED SO FAR SINCE THIS FIC HAS MANY TYPOS BUT ITS STILL READABLE.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can't erase or numb the pain*

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Clamat_Submissa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clamat_Submissa/gifts).
  * Translation into Polski available: [Ghost Of You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148202) by [marcelowa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marcelowa/pseuds/marcelowa)



> New story! :)

Louis Tomlinson ran through the school hallways as fast as he could trying to get away from the boy who tormented him on a daily basis, the boy who would beat him to a bloody pulp and insult him. Words hurt more than actions, especially if they came from they boy Louis was madly in love with. As pathetic as it was, yes, Louis was in love with popular jock Harry Styles who hated him with a passion and would bully him for the simple fact that he was one of the gay kids in school and proud of it but lately he wasn't so proud anymore.

Louis had accepted the reality that he was gay when he was just fourteen years old and he had walked in on his two best friends Zayn and Niall eating each other's faces off, he had found it arousing something he didn't when he was kissing a girl. He had tried to feel that same arousal whenever he kissed his then girlfriend Eleanor but he could never feel it unless he was watching two boys doing it. Luckily when Louis broke up with Eleanor a week later and explained why she squealed and crushed him into a tight hug telling him he could be her new gay best friend and that no matter what she would always be there for him.

Eleanor had grown up into a beautiful young girl and as part of the populars that included his main tormentor Harry, but nothing between them ever changed even though the populars would always give her shit for hanging out with nerdy, gay, four eyes Louis Tomlinson. He had started to develop feelings for Harry when he was fifteen and hadn't come out yet, the green eyed boy Louis had known since they were both thirteen when Harry had moved to Doncaster from Cheshire was nice to him and had become friends with him when Anne started going over to Louis' house for dinner. Harry had no sense of what personal space was and that's how Louis found himself falling for him, falling for his cheeky attitude, his charm and every thing that was his Harry.

Everything changed when Louis decided to come out at sixteen and the once happy, sweet and nice Harry turned into a complete homophobic monster and after almost two years Harry just wouldn't stop his abuse towards his once best friend. Even though they were both seventeen with Louis only being about two months older than Harry there was a great difference between them that was beneficial to Harry but a nightmare to Louis. Harry was a head taller than Louis, he had a broader frame, broader shoulders, he had a never ending torso with lean strong legs that looked miles long, pink almost red plump lips, bright green eyes and a head full of curly dark brown locks.

Louis thought he was gorgeous, a gorgeous monster in disguise that is. Louis was the opposite of Harry, he was shorter, lean but curvy and even though he was a nerd with glasses girls liked him and some were jealous of his firm and round bum he had been blessed with and even some guys couldn't keep their eyes off of him. He still had a bit of baby fat around his belly compared to Harry's flat one, he had blue eyes instead of green, thin lips instead of plump ones and straight caramel feathery hair instead of the curls he loved so much.

To Harry who was a football (soccer) player and a popular jock Louis was nothing to him but a weak gay nerd that deserved every thing he did to him just to show everyone else but Harry knew there was more to it than just bullying Louis for being gay. As far as Louis knew Harry had been raised in a family of very accepting people that consisted of his mother Anne, stepfather Robin and an older sister named Gemma and that led him to believe that Harry didn't hated him for being gay but hated him because of him, it broke his heart to know.

Louis wasn't a stalker boy obsessed with the guy he loved but could never have because Harry was straight as a pole (just ask all the girls he had hooked up with), he knew all about him since they were next door neighbors and their bedroom windows were right in front of each other making it able for him and Harry to get a great view of each other's bedroom. That's how he could see and sometimes when their parents went out with the girls he could hear Harry hooking up with all those whores even though he will shut the curtains and listen to music on full blast leading him to believe Harry made louder noises just to annoy him.

Louis was a virgin and Harry liked to make fun of him for it but Louis was no stranger to that kind of pleasure, he would sometimes have a quick wank in the shower to thoughts of Harry but he would never finger himself, stick it up someone or stick something up there even though he had been tempted to do so many times. The Tomlinsons' and the Styles' would have dinner at each others houses since Anne and Jay were pretty close friends, Mark and Robin enjoyed each other's company and Gemma was extremely nice to Louis and his sisters whereas Harry was a dick to him but very sweet to his sisters and Louis couldn't be thankful enough, nobody knew about the bullying and both boys liked to keep it that way. Louis hated it whenever his mum would tell him to go to his room with Harry before and after dinner which gave Harry an opportunity to torment him again since he had to be nice to him around his family and Louis' especially Mark because even though Louis wasn't his biological son he adored him and treated him like he was and didn't put up with anybody harassing his son.

If you're wondering why Louis was still a virgin it was because Harry would always scare away any boy that took an interest in Louis and if he came too close to actually losing it Harry would always find a way to interrupt them no matter what even if Louis was in their room far away from Harry. Even though Louis was so in love with him it still freaked him out to know Harry knew where he was at all times but said nothing about it compared to his friends Zayn and Niall who were a couple but were strangely left alone by homophobic Harry.

They insisted that maybe Harry had a thing for Louis and wasn't so straight after all and after Eleanor heard about it she joined in on the idea even if Louis already knew it was because Harry hated his guts, not him being gay after a particular bad beating where Harry had told him he deserved no one and will forever be alone as long as he was around. Louis had gone home and straight to bed crying himself to sleep burying his face on his pillow to muffle the sobs and trying to stop his shoulders from shaking too much but failing miserably completely unaware of a pair of green eyes observing him from the window across from his.

"No matter how fast you run you won't get away from me faggot!" Harry yelled running after Louis who was beginning to slow down due to the burning sensation on his legs and lungs.

He made his way out of the deserted school and into the woods behind the school hoping to lose Harry along the way. He had stayed after school trying to finish his art project that was due the next day and he couldn't afford to fail since he was an A plus student and needed to keep it that way if he wanted a scholarship to go to Uni in four months since he had already graduated but still needed to complete his final art project. He had made sure that all the football players were gone from practice knowing they practiced all year long before he made his way out of the art room after turning in his completed project and started walking home. He was startled when a hand grabbed him by the arm and threw him against the lockers with a loud bang as Louis collided against them, he looked up to see a smirking Harry towering over him and that's when Louis took off running to get away from him.

Louis stopped running and hid behind a wide tree trying to even out his breath to keep Harry from finding him and beating him like a punch bag again like last week in the school bathroom. He stood there thinking about how in two days he would be free of Harry knowing he had to leave to stay at his aunt's house for a bit and even though it made him happy he was also sad to know he wouldn't get to see him everyday like he was used to. A few minutes later thinking Harry was gone he started walking home again when strong arms wrapped around his waist then a hand covered his mouth tightening both grips when he began to kick and scream against the person he knew it was Harry recognizing his scent he had memorized after years of Harry standing too close to him to beat him up.

"What do you w- want?" Louis managed to yell when Harry took his hand off of his mouth to wrap it around his waist lifting him up from the ground.

"You." Harry responded breathing hard against the back of Louis' neck where he could smell the alcohol in Harry's breath and instantly figured out the football team had been drinking this early to celebrate their last day as a team even though it was prohibited to drink on school grounds.

"Stop! Please let me go Harry." Louis begged squirming around trying to get out of his grasp but failing since Harry was a lot more stronger and taller than he was.

"I've been waiting for this day for so long LouLou." Harry confessed walking deeper into the woods with a thrashing Louis in his arms.

"W- what are you talking about? Just beat me up already and let me go." Louis screamed trying not to cry because Harry was really starting to scare him more than ever, what if he was planning to kill him.

"Ssh, you're gonna like it." Harry replied lifting Louis higher then threw him down to the hard dirt ground with so much force his head collided against it as Louis let out a sharp cry making him lose his glasses.

Agonizing pain shooting through his head was all Louis could feel before dizziness began to take over and clouded his vision even more making every thing blurry and his surroundings confusing, he felt Harry taking off his shoes then his paint splattered shirt and jeans along with his boxers leaving him completely naked right in front of his tormentor. He tried to cover himself up with his hands but stronger ones pushed them away before he felt a set of warm lips against his own kissing him hungrily, he began to cry and push Harry away as much as he could but Harry didn't even move an inch.

"P- please don't do this." Louis pleaded full on crying already and trying to push Harry away with both his hands feeling warm smooth skin against his palms.

As the dizziness kept getting worse Louis let his arms fall limply at his sides but not before they brushed against Harry's lower half letting him know Harry had pulled his boxers lower letting out his erection that Louis could now feel against the inside of his thigh as Harry accommodated himself in between his legs.

"Wanna know why I always scared those ass holes away from you? Because they only wanted to get in your pants Louis but you're mine. I was saving you for me, you're all mine not theirs." Harry said leaving open mouth kisses on Louis' jaw, neck and chest then grabbing Louis' member on his hand pumping it as he pleased while Louis let out strangled sobs.

How many times had Louis gotten off to the thought of imagining Harry in between his legs, hovering over him as he thrusted in and out of him making him feel like he was in heaven but now that it was happening and not the way he wanted it he just wanted Harry off of him. He didn't want to feel Harry's lips on his own and his skin, he didn't want to feel Harry's warm breath on his neck, he didn't want to feel his hand around him as he sobbed ashamed of himself at the fact that he was starting to get hard under Harry's touch and kisses. He thought it was over when he no longer felt Harry on top of him and as he tried to get up with difficulty since he was still dizzy and his vision was cloudy he felt a warm hand on his chest pushing him down again then heard what sounded like a bottle being uncapped.

"Harry I- I need to go h- home." Louis whimpered searching blindingly for his clothes.

"Ssh, I'll- I'll take you home okay. Just relax." Harry said coating his fingers with lube.

Louis let out a muffled scream through Harry's hand when he forced a finger inside of him past the tight muscle and cried when another two were shoved inside of him a little bit later, Harry watched Louis thrash weakly under him and he knew he should be feeling guilty for taking his innocence he thought belonged to him in his drunken mind, Louis was his, only his and no one else's. He had gone through a lot to keep Louis' virginity intact for when he was ready to take it and now that Louis was hard underneath him and ready to lose it Harry didn't wasted time and quickly lathered his own cock with a generous amount of lube.

"N- no! Please don't! Stop!" Louis cried when he felt the tip of Harry's thick dick beginning to enter him pushing past his rim making it burn seconds later after Harry had removed his fingers.

Harry quickly grabbed Louis' legs setting them over his shoulders at the same time he kept pushing himself inside of Louis as slow as he could fighting the urge to just pound into him and fuck him senseless until the blue eyed boy was screaming his name in pleasure. He closed his eyes after he was deep inside of Louis not moving, just taking in the feeling of Louis' tight hot velvety walls surrounding him. He began giving Louis tiny kisses on his closed eyelids, forehead, lips and jaw as Louis kept trying to push him off of him.

"I love you Lou." Harry whispered on Louis' ear wiping the tears off with his thumbs and slowly pulled out leaving the tip in then slowly thrusting back in feeling Louis digging his nails on his sides while Harry supported himself with his left arm holding Louis down with his right.

Harry began to thrust in and out setting an even but fast rhythm while he watched Louis fighting to stay awake through the tears that just wouldn't stop falling and rolling down his temples out of the corners of his eyes, he knew Louis had hit his head hard and he probably had a concussion but that didn't stop him from grabbing his hips in a tight grip to keep him from moving too much every time Harry thrusted into him bringing him closer and closer to his release leaving behind bruises in the shape of his fingers. Louis moved trying to get away from Harry changing the angle when Harry hit a particular spot making pleasure shoot through his lower half and stomach letting out a moan that had him crying harder as he scratched Harry's back trying to control himself, he felt him pounding into him faster and harder moaning Louis' name while Louis was beginning to feel that familiar heat pulling around his stomach.

"H- Harry..." Louis moaned still trying to push him away as Harry kissed his neck finding the feeling of Harry deep inside of him making him desperate to just come and he hated himself for it.

Out of nowhere Louis came staining both Harry's and his chest with Harry following shortly after shooting his load deep inside of Louis filling him up as he felt disgusting and ashamed for the way it felt to have Harry come deep inside of him, the way the hot sticky liquid felt inside of him and he sobbed harder when he felt Harry's full weight on top of him and his hot breath. Harry slowly pulled out watching as Louis winced and as soon as he was out he was pushed away by Louis who was frantically putting his clothes back on avoiding eye contact with Harry as much s possible still crying.

"Louis I-"

"Don't. Stay away from me you fucking rapist." Louis shrieked trying to get as far away from Harry as possible, he couldn't hide the fact that he was scared shitless of him.

"Louis please..." Harry tried again pulling his boxers back on and slowly walked towards Louis who now had only his boxers and his shirt on and was sitting far away from the spot where Harry had ruined him still feeling dizzy as he searched for his glasses he had lost after Harry had dropped him.

"Here." Harry said giving him his glasses and Louis took them putting them back on.

"Do you really hate me that much?" Louis cried wincing as he put his pants then his shoes back on.

"Louis-"

"You're nothing but a fucking rapist. You're not so straight are you?" Louis spat wiping away his tears.

"You wanted a cock up your ass and that's what I gave you. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy it you slut, if you tell anyone about what happened I swear you won't get to see another day and I'll fuck you so hard you'll wish you were straight." Harry threatened putting the rest of his clothes on then walking away after slapping Louis lightly on his cheek leaving him heart broken and alone in the woods.

Each step Louis took served as a reminder of what had happened, of what had the boy he loved done to him. He finally got home with a horrible headache, sore thighs and bum, limping slightly as he walked inside to see the Styles sitting in his living room and Harry's smirk widened every time he limped. Louis managed to keep walking as normally as he could without getting too much attention.

"Lou, sweetheart what happened to you? Why are you limping?" Jay asked getting up to help his son sit down right by Harry as Louis fought the urge to get as far away from him as possible.

"I- I'm fine mum, I'm just gonna go take a shower." Louis said getting up feeling Harry's big hands on his waist helping him get up fighting the urge to slap them away, an act everyone else thought was innocent but not to Louis or Harry.

He rushed out of the living room as fast as he could towards his room wincing in pain with every step he took up the stairs and as soon as he took his clothes off in front of the mirror he gasped at the bruises in the shape of Harry's fingers littering his hips. He got in the shower crying, scrubbing his body with soap to wash away all the dirt, the feel of Harry's hands touching him and he wished he had gotten those bruises under different circumstances, wishing he had gotten them by having sex with the guy he loved willingly and not by force. Every time he moved his lower back would hurt and he could feel some of Harry's semen leaking out and he wished it didn't because that was evidence of his wrong doing. Louis got out of the shower and the bathroom in his room with only a towel wrapped around his waist and blood shot eyes almost screaming when he saw Harry laying on his bed eyeing his suitcases that he had already packed.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going love?" Harry asked looking at Louis all over then smirking when he saw the bruises on his hips.

"W- what are y- you doing h- here? G- get out." Louis whisper shouted completely terrified then took off running back to the bathroom to lock himself in there when Harry bolted out of the bed and started running towards him.

He didn't even made it to the doorway when Harry's arm wrapped around his naked waist and threw him on the bed landing face first then quickly got up to run out of his room to his mum but not getting to when Harry grabbed him by the ankles dragging him back to where he was standing quickly getting in between his legs and hovering over him.

"No! Please stop! Mum help me!" Louis screamed hitting Harry everywhere he could.

"Scream all you want they left, we're alone!" Harry screamed back yanking the towel off of Louis then unbuttoned his new jeans he had changed into pulling them down along with his boxers getting a tiny bottle of lube out and Louis' eyes widened.

"Harry please, not again please." Louis sobbed.

"Shut up!" Harry yelled lathering his cock with lube then slamming into Louis groaning in pleasure while Louis sobbed hiding his face on Harry's chest.

"Stop..." Louis sobbed too tired to fight as Harry slammed into him moaning loudly.

"H- how are you still tight cockslut?" Harry moaned going in deeper.

"You should feel lucky I'm fucking you right now. No one will fuck someone as ugly and pathetic as you. An ugly nerd." Harry spat going faster and harder as Louis' heart shattered.

It was as if Harry had ripped his heart out of his chest and stomped over it shattering it into millions of tiny pieces leaving him alone to pick up the pieces and attempt to put them back together ending up with a scarred heart that would never be the same. Something snapped inside of Louis as he felt Harry coming deep inside of him, innocent thoughts and feelings were quickly replaced by hateful ones, his warm blue eyes turned icy cold, the happy goofy boy who thought the world was beautiful despite of everything no longer thought and felt the same. Harry's words hurt more than his fists, they were forever embedded on his memory, his touch forever embedded on his skin like a permanent ugly scar. He stared at the ceiling with a blank look as Harry pulled out and quickly put his clothes back on throwing the towel on top of Louis to cover him up.

"If you're done do me a favor and get out of my house." Louis glared at Harry.

"Lou-"

"I said get the fuck out of my house." Louis yelled and watched as Harry walked towards the door unlocking it then opening it glancing one more time at Louis before leaving.

Louis waited to hear the front door close shut then see Harry walking to his house from his other window before he ran towards the window in front of Harry's shutting the curtains then bursting into heartbreaking sobs as he desperately dialed Eleanor's phone number and when she didn't answered he managed to leave her a message telling her he needed her and to come over as soon as she heard his message. A few hours later Louis had managed to shower again and get dressed when he heard the front door open then quick steps as someone walked up the stairs. He burst into tears when he saw her holding an envelope in one hand and her phone and purse on the other as he threw himself into her arms.

"Lou what's wrong? I came here as soon as I heard your message." Eleanor rubbed Louis' back.

"I- if I t- tell you you have to promise me you won't say or do anything." Louis pleaded closing his eyes when she began wiping away his tears.

"I- I promise." Eleanor replied.

"H- Harry raped m- me...twice." Louis cried harder.

"What? I'm gonna kill that son of a bi-" She growled pulling away from Louis.

"N- no! Just...do you have the train tickets to London I asked you to buy for me l- last week?" Louis asked.

"Yeah. Louis you have to tell your parents and the police." Eleanor begged tearing up hating to see her friend like that.

"No. I don't care anymore, I just want to leave right now and never come back here never see him again." Louis coldly said.

"If that's what you want Lou." She sighed.

"I'll text you Niall and Zayn later about my whereabouts and I'm gonna leave a note for mum and dad. El please, whatever you do please don't confront Harry or tell anyone." Louis begged and Eleanor couldn't help at seeing how desperate Louis was.

Louis quickly loaded his bags in Eleanor's car and she drove him to the train station ready to leave Doncaster and go to London, ready to forget about him, to leave him and every thing he ever did behind. He had left a note to his mum telling her he had decided to leave earlier and to not worry, that he'll call as soon as he was at his aunt's house. He had also asked her not to tell anyone where he was. Hugging Eleanor goodbye he got onto the train and left, he was no longer a happy and stupid boy who let him walk all over him. From now on he would not let anyone treat him that way, he would not let anyone walk all over him. He'll be damned if he did, never again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1378966178274_zps02ac613e.jpg.html)   
>    
> 


	2. All alone*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of flashbacks so if you get confused let me know. :)

*Four years later*

Harry woke up with a start from his restless slumber panting and sweating as he tried to forget the nightmares that haunted his dreams every single night. He got up and walked towards the bathroom splashing some cold water on his face to fully wake up, he had to get up for work anyways so there was no point going back to sleep where he knew that as soon as he closed his eyes the horrible nightmares would begin again.

It had been almost four years since he had last seen or talked to Louis personally and he wished he knew where he lived, he wished to see and talk to him again so he could tell him how sorry he really was about every thing he had ever done to him even though he knew very well that he didn't deserved his forgiveness at all. He used to always ask Jay where he was but she would only give him a tiny sad smile as if she was hiding something and felt sorry for him when she should hate him after he told her everything, every single thing. She would always tell him she just couldn't tell him anything and now he hadn't seen Jay in three years when he stopped going home due to too many bad memories and a lot of work.

He still remembered the night his Louis had left for good as if it had only happened yesterday, he had been in his room sitting on the floor crying and hating himself for what he had done to Louis twice and the things he had said before he left yet he had still said them like it was nothing and now they were haunting him. Louis had looked so broken and just about ready to give up and Harry had had the urge to run back in there and plead for forgiveness knowing it was too late but Louis had yelled at him to get out of his house so he had no choice but to do it.

He still remembered what happened hours later, he was sitting on the floor lost in his own self hating thoughts when he heard someone knocking on the door rather frantically and thinking it was Louis he immediately ran downstairs but he felt disappointment when he saw an angry Eleanor in front of him just about ready to cry even if she was fuming.

"What do you wa-" Harry tried to ask but a loud smack then a stinging cheek interrupted him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you ass hole?" Eleanor yelled bursting into tears, her face red as a tomato and make up running down her cheeks while Harry rubbed his cheek trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her.

"What the fuck you bitch. What was that for?" Harry yelled trying to control himself because there was no way he was going to hit a girl.

"You want to hit me don't you? Go ahead and do it but you'll wish you were dead after I'm done with you." Eleanor growled.

"What the fuck are you on?" Harry yelled again.

"D- Do you have any idea what you've done to him Harry?" Eleanor yelled wiping away her tears.

"What are you talking about?" Harry yelled completely confused.

"You fucking raped my best friend Harry, you ruined his life. Wasn't all the torture you put him through enough for you, you had to do that?" Eleanor screamed.

"He deserved it! He wanted it up the ass so that's what I gave him." Harry said hating himself even more at not being able to control himself watching as Eleanor took a step back looking disappointed but honestly Harry didn't give a shit about what she thought or felt.

"I promised him to never tell you this but I know he hates you now. You hurt him Harry, you really did and you deserve to feel like shit after this and so help me God I will kill you if you go near him again. He was in love with you ever since he was fifteen." Eleanor confessed.

"W- What?" Harry asked breaking on the inside and feeling like a monster.

"He was in love with you and even after you were done beating him and insulting him he still loved you unconditionally, I thought he was wrong to love you because you didn't deserved to have his love but that's Louis to you. You have no idea how many times he begged Zayn to not go after you and beat you, how many times he cried in my arms because he knew you hated him and would never love him back the way he did. It was such an innocent and pure love just like he was but you ruined it all, you robbed him of his innocence and you turned all that pure love into hate. I hope you're happy." Eleanor confessed then turned around walking towards the door.

"I- I gotta talk to him." Harry mumbled walking behind Eleanor who abruptly stopped, turned around and glared at him making him feel so small and insignificant just like he wanted to feel.

"You're late Harry, late for everything. Louis left a few hours ago, you will never see or talk to him ever again and I'll make sure of that. Have a good life ass hole." She said and left the house leaving a crying Harry standing there all alone, he was alone.

Harry blinked the tears away willing the rest to go away as he got ready for work, of course he hadn't talked to Louis but he had seen him, he saw him everywhere. It wasn't until after Eleanor had left when he confessed to his family and best friend Liam that he was gay and they accepted him with welcoming arms but Harry wanted them to hate him for it as punishment for everything he had done to Louis and now that he had lost him he had finally accepted that all those feelings he willed to be hate were nothing but love and admiration for him. Love because Louis was a beautiful person in and out even if he had told him the opposite and every thing about he boy he adored. Admiration because unlike Harry Louis wasn't afraid to admit who he was and after all those things he did to him he still showed up to school with his head held high and proud.

Deciding to just grab some coffee and a muffin on the way to work he grabbed his needed equipment and left his expensive flat getting on his car and driving off. Harry, an aspiring photographer back then was now the best and most famous photographer out there known to be hired by the most important magazines and companies to photograph their models even tough he had his own studio and had a good income but none of that mattered when he wasn't happy. He was startled when his phone rang loudly in his pocket just as he was stopping at a red light.

"Hello?" Harry answered stiffening when he saw the brand new gigantic ad for polo shirts featuring none other than Louis. Yes, Louis Tomlinson was now the UK's most wanted and successful well paid male model in the UK, well basically all Europe and America.

"Harry when you get home I need to talk to you. It's urgent." Liam said then hung up as Harry stared at his phone rather awkwardly.

After work Harry made his way to his flat tired as hell from the long day when he saw Liam leaning against the door waiting for him with a nervous expression. He quickly unlocked the door letting Liam in putting his stuff down and turning on the lights of the cozy yet empty enormous flat, he gestured for Liam to sit down while he made tea and once he was done he took a seat in front of him handing a cup to Liam.

"What is it that you wanted to tell me?" Harry asked taking a big gulp of tea.

"So umm, Teen Vogue wants you to do a photoshoot with a model for their cover." Liam said looking straight at Harry.

"So? I've done millions of them, that's what was so urgent Li?" Harry asked taking small sips of his tea as he watched Liam with an amused expression at how nervous he was.

"The model Harry, the model's Louis Tomlinson. You're gonna be working with him." Liam said trying to calm down and help Harry who was choking and coughing trying to breathe."

"D- Does he know?" Harry desperately asked.

"Yes. He accepted but his friends Zayn and Niall, you remember them? They argued with him telling him to just drop it. He's changed so much Harry, not only physically but his personality is way different, he's cold and literally doesn't take shit from people like he used to." Liam explained.

"You talked to him? Did he said something about me?" Harry asked pulling Liam's arm rather frantically like a small child.

"I didn't get the chance but as he was walking out I heard him on the phone talking to someone saying and I quote 'I miss you too sweety, I'll be home in a little bit' maybe he has a boyfriend." Liam said thoughtfully.

"Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't." Harry whispered, honestly he hoped for the latter.

He was nervous and scared to see him again, he wanted to beg for forgiveness and to get a chance to make it up to him. Confess why he did it in the first place, he just hoped for Louis to listen to him and maybe after talking to him he'll be able to move on and start dating again since he hadn't had a boyfriend or a hook up since that night but he knew that seeing Louis again would make that impossible.

~*~

"Sweety I'm home." Louis shouted once he entered his flat with his friends Niall and Zayn following him.

"Daddy!" A little girl yelled running towards him jumping into his arms.

"Hi love, how was your day?" Louis asked picking his tiny daughter up into his arms and walked towards Eleanor who had offered to babysit her for the day since her regular babysitter was sick.

"Hi unca Ni, unca Zee. Auntie El took me to the park then got me new toy story p'jamas." She said excitedly pointing at herself and Louis smiled lovingly at the way she pronounced pajamas.

"She did? That's very nice of her. Did you said thank you to auntie El?" Louis asked.

"I a'ways say thank you." She smiled putting her hand on Louis' cheek.

"You ready to go to bed?" She nodded frantically. "Alright, say goodnight." Louis held her closer to him.

"G'night auntie El. G'night unca Niall and Zayn." She waved yawning already.

Louis gestured for his friends to stay there while he went to put his daughter to bed, after reading a bedtime story from her favorite book Goodnight Moon he kissed her goodnight and was just about to leave when he heard her little voice asking him something he had been avoiding to talk to anyone ever since he found out he was pregnant.

"Daddy? Why isn't my other daddy here with us?" She asked him with those big green eyes with specks of blue and those bouncy light brown curls that reminded him so much of him.

"He can't baby." Louis answered hoping for his answer to be enough for her.

"But why?" She asked pouting her tiny plump pink lips more than they already were.

"Because he can't. Logan why are you asking me all of this?" Louis asked kneeling down next to the bed looking at the tiny version of Harry. The only thing she had gotten from him was his nose, hair color, cheekbones and some specks of his blue eye color that had managed to combine with his green.

"Because my friend Alex has two daddies and I only have one. I asked auntie El why he's not here to play with me like my friend's daddy and she said we don't need him 'cause he's a- a jerk and he gave you a booboo. Daddy what's a jerk?" Logan asked suddenly interested in wanting to know.

"A jerk is what we call someone who is very mean and rude to others." Louis explained as best as he could.

"Then he's a jerk and I hate him, daddy I don't wants him to play with me anymore." Logan pouted crossing her arms over her chest

Louis actually frowned at that knowing his baby girl didn't know what hate really was like he did, he hated Harry but at the same time he still loved him like before if not more making him feel pathetic. He didn't want his daughter to hate him even though she will never meet him and he didn't deserved her either.

"You don't hate him love." Louis teased poking her pudgy belly trying to ease the tension.

"Do too! He gave you a booboo daddy and they hurt because I got one yesterday." Logan insisted showing Louis the little scab on her knee poking it with her tiny finger and Louis smiled at how innocent she was.

"But you're all better now baby." Louis said pulling the covers over her and kissed her goodnight.

"G'night Hunter." Louis mumbled turning the light off leaving her woody night light on.

"Goodnight daddy. Goodnight Mr. Curls." Logan whispered half asleep.

Smiling, he walked back to the living room where his friends were waiting for him. He looked straight at Eleanor who gave him a tiny shy smile trying to hide behind Zayn while Louis walked closer and closer. If Logan was asking about him it was his own fault for wanting his daughter to know the truth about not having a mum but two dads instead and that he couldn't be with them for reasons he left unexplained.

"She asked about him and why he couldn't be here with us." Louis said breaking the silence and taking a seat on the sofa in front of his friends.

"What did you say?" Niall asked.

"That he just couldn't and she said she asked you El and you called him a jerk then she called him a jerk." Louis explained rubbing his face with his hands.

"Well he is a jerk, more than that actually." Zayn scoffed and yelped when Niall smacked him giving him a warning look.

"I'm sorry Lou, she just asked me out of nowhere and I didn't know what to say because at the park he started playing with this little boy with two dads." Eleanor explained.

"Don't worry El, it's not your fault." Louis sighed.

"And you're gonna have to spend time with him during the photoshoot." Niall said worried.

"Louis why did you accept that?" Eleanor whined.

"It's the cover of Teen Vogue El, I'm not gonna let that ass hole ruin it for me." Louis said.

"Just be careful Lou. We have to go, do you need a ride El?" Niall said getting up followed by Zayn.

"No thank you Ni, I actually have my car today. Oh and Louis, I'm sorry but I won't be able to babysit Logan tomorrow." El informed him.

"That's okay El, her babysitter will be here tomorrow." Louis smiled hugging them all on their way out.

Once he was alone he went to check on Logan again and smiled when he saw her fast asleep sucking on her thumb and hugging the teddy bear with her initials on its tummy he had gotten her two weeks after she was born and that she had renamed Mr. Curls after she got tired of calling him bubba. He walked up to her leaning down to kiss her on the forehead pulling her curls out of her face and as he observed her tiny face his eyes began watering thinking about how in the world something so beautiful and innocent was the result of something so awful. Harry was a monster who had tortured him for almost two years then raped him breaking his heart and stealing his innocence in the process yet he was the monster who had managed to knock him up and give him his most precious possession, a daughter.

He walked out of her room leaving the door open then went straight to take a shower and get ready for bed since tomorrow was the day he would be facing him again and as he showered he couldn't help but burst into tears as he remembered both times and all the things he said to him. Almost four years later he still felt dirty, he could still feel his hands roaming through out his body touching every inch of his skin, he could still feel his lips on his remembering how much he had wanted to feel them before he was raped but wanted them as far away as possible from his during it.

He no longer wished to feel them against his own or that's what he told himself because it no longer mattered that he was still in love with a monster when the hate was stronger than anything else. Harry had turned him cold, bitter and hateful to at least anyone who messed with him or his daughter. He hated to accept the fact that Harry had been the first and only man to ever enter him, he was too scared and traumatized to do it with someone else since every time he had tried all he could see was a sweaty Harry on top of him insulting him while thrusting into him.

He hated himself and hated Harry even more for making him hate the tiny baby growing inside of him when he was told he was pregnant wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible because he couldn't be pregnant, he couldn't be one of the few who could conceive much less be pregnant with his child. Louis remembered how emotionally and mentally hard it had been for him the very first few months in London living with his aunt, he would wake up every night crying and screaming begging for and to Harry to stop until his aunt would comfort him back to sleep.

Three months had passed since Louis had last seen or heard from Harry when he began feeling sick and at first he thought it was the flu or a virus but when the morning sickness, exhaustion and dizziness continued for more than two weeks Eleanor, Niall, and Zayn who were also living in London for Uni dragged him to a doctor knowing he was too stubborn to go on his own and while he was waiting for the doctor and his three friends were waiting outside he began to once again think about that day and his heart clenched with hurt and hate.

Louis got out of the shower drying his body and hair with a towel then pulling a pair of boxers and sweat pants on deciding to sleep shirtless and as he lay down in bed he closed his eyes going all the way back to when he received the shocking news.

Louis kept bouncing his knee up and down as he waited for the doctor to come back with the verdict and as he chewed on his nails he kept thinking that maybe he was dying or Harry had given him something because he was pretty sure he hadn't used a condom both times. Nothing could have prepared him for the shocking news he was about to receive because 'yes' Harry had given him something totally unexpected or bettet yet. Harry had given him someone and that someone was growing inside of him.

"Congratulations Louis, you're pregnant." The doctor said smiling so big it made Louis want to puke.

"This is serious. Really, what's wrong with me?" Louis asked laughing nervously.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions and I want you to answer them as honestly as you can." Dr. Overand asked and Louis nodded as his bottom lip quivered because that couldn't be happening to him, he was a man and he was pretty sure he had a dick.

"Have you had intercourse with another male meaning he entered you?" Dr. Overand asked and Louis burst into tears.

"Y- Yes, three months ago." Louis nodded not really wanting to go through the embarrassment of telling her he had been raped and twice three months ago by the guy he still loved but despised with all his being.

"Okay so-" She began.

"I don't want it! I don't want that thing inside of me, please get it out." Louis pleaded hating to have something inside of him that belonged to Harry, it was half him and Louis hated it as much as he hated that monster.

"Louis I'm afraid I can't do that, you're not thinking this through and its unethical of me to practice an abortion. You should also know that if you decide to terminate the pregnancy there's the risk of you dying or infertility, you should talk this through with the other father before making a decision." Dr. Overand explained handing a tissue to clean his nose.

"He's not around and I don't care, I just want it out. I'm a freak!" Louis yelled.

"You're not a freak Louis, you have a gift and right now there's a little miracle growing in there. I've worked with an OB before in dealing with male pregnancies, you're not the first and only one and if you decide to keep your baby I'm sure that with the right care you'll deliver a healthy boy or girl in six months." She explained.

"What part of I don't want this thing don't you understand? Get it out of me now or I'll find someone else to do it." Louis yelled crying louder.

"At least let me practice an ultrasound, it's the procedure I have to follow." Dr. Overand said with an apologetic look.

"Okay." Louis mumbled.

"Please lay back down and lift your shirt up please." Dr. Overand smiled as Louis did what he was told noticing a tiny round bump in between his hips he had failed to notice before confusing it as fat.

"This is gonna be cold." She warned and Louis hissed at how cold it was.

"Can you hurry up?" Louis urged rather rudely.

"Just a minute...there it is. By the size of it I'll say it's about twelve weeks and if you decide to keep it we'll be able to know the sex in eight to ten more weeks." Dr. Overand explained as Louis watched the tiny grey blob on the screen with mixed emotions.

Part of him wanted nothing to do with it because it was his and it will always remind him of what he had done to him, he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible, he wanted it out and away from him as far away as possible because he felt disgusting knowing he was carrying the result of something that had scarred him for life. At the same time he knew the thing was half his and had the right to live but hate was stronger than his love for his own child. As he was thinking terrible thoughts about it and how he was going to find Harry and kill that son of a bitch for doing this to him a fast thumping sound filled his ears as the doctor informed him that that was its heartbeat and he began crying even more because no! There was no way he could get rid of his innocent baby who wasn't to blame for Harry's actions after hearing its heart.

That day Louis decided to keep his baby putting aside the fact that it had been conceived in horrific and hurtful way and instead focused on his baby and how he was going to tell his family and friends. He had had no choice but to tell his family, Niall and Zayn how he had gotten pregnant and beg them not to anything for his and the baby's sake especially Mark and Zayn who were ready to kill. Zayn had been difficult because all he wanted to do was go after Harry and rip him to pieces, he had stayed mad at Eleanor for a week for not telling them.

Louis once again wiped away his tears as he lay on his bed wrapped inside his cozy blankets smiling at the thought of Logan when he felt her crawling inside the blankets next to him trying to climb on top of him as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and Mr. Curls then set her upside down on top of his chest just the way she liked it and fell back asleep as soon as she felt her daddy's warmth. It was nights like those when he was gone all day and she would sleep with him to get a good cuddle or because she was cold making them his best nights.

He kissed her forehead and fell asleep hoping for tomorrow to go fast thanking the gods because it would only be one day and he prayed so hard pleading for Harry's presence to not have any effect on him. He saw pictures of him all the time but having him standing in front of him in person would be a whole different story, it would probably make him hate him even more and hopefully it would make him stop loving him once and for all. No matter what was to happen tomorrow Louis knew he had to hide Logan even more, not speaking about her like he usually did when people who knew about her asked. Harry could never find out, he didn't deserved to know he had a daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1379109746285_zpsd19351f1.jpg.html)   
> 
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> Thoughts? :)


	3. Like a liar looking for forgiveness*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback again. :)

The bright sunlight coming from the windows awoke Louis who rubbed his eyes feeling the weight and warmth of Logan on his chest then the wetness of the small puddle of drool by her mouth. He slowly got up supporting her back with his arms and set her back down on his still warm spot so he could go get ready for this much dreaded day. He took a shower and put on an old shirt and sweatpants to make a quick breakfast of cereal and milk as he was running late for the damn photoshoot and he still had to get dressed and wait for Anna, Logan's babysitter to get there. As he moved around the kitchen looking for Logan's favorite cereal lucky charms and his cocoa puffs he thought about how lucky he was when Eric had approached him with his business card from a modeling agency two years ago when he worked as a cashier in Tesco to support his daughter and himself because now he could give her a good life, every thing she wanted and pay a good babysitter to take care of her while he worked.

"Daddy?" Logan yawned walking into the kitchen holding Mr. Curls close to her chest with one hand and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with the other as Louis picked her up.

"Morning love." Louis cheered and chuckled when she put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes again, she definitely wasn't a morning person and he couldn't help but remember that he wasn't either as Anne had mentioned it one time during dinner.

"Love c'mon, let's eat some cereal. Daddy has to go to work." Louis placed her down on a chair with a bowl of cereal in front of her and as he ate his cereal he observed her eating her cereal clumsily with a smile.

"Daddy I wants to go to the park today. Can Anna banana take me, please?" Logan asked suddenly so excited you might think she was faking being tired earlier but that's just how she was and Louis was used to it.

"Sure but you're gonna listen to her. Are you gonna be a good girl for me?" Louis asked finishing his cereal.

"Yes Lewis." Logan giggled nodding furiously taking another mouthful of cereal.

"What did I said about calling me Lewis?" Louis sighed trying not to laugh at the way she said it.

"Your name is Louis, daddy Louis and not Lewis. But unca Zayn said I can call you it." Logan argued looking at her daddy with a questioning look.

"Uncle Zayn was joking baby. Finish your breakfast while I go get changed okay?" Louis said getting up from the table kissing the top of her head as he walked by thinking of how innocent and naïve she was.

"Okay daddy."

Louis walked into his room where he quickly changed into a white long sleeved turtleneck shirt and black trousers that fitted him well deciding to add his favorite pair of suspenders since everyone always complimented him on how good he looked whenever he wore them, he then walked to his bathroom to do his hair leaving it down in a fringe. He was trying to impress him but in a way that he would know he wasn't the same nobody he had been back then, he wanted him to know that the ugly nerd who would never be loved wasn't any of those things anymore and most important he wanted him to know he no longer let anyone walk all over him. To Louis, Harry was still the biggest ass hole and selfish person out there, he was a monster and he was glad his Logan had not inherited his personality and only his looks. Louis ran to get the door when he heard the doorbell knowing it was Anna letting her in.

"Morning Mr. Tomlinson." Anna, a short brown eyed girl with long blond hair greeted Louis with a big smile.

"It's Louis not Mr. Tomlinson, you're only nineteen and I'm twenty two. Not much difference plus you make me feel old." Louis smiled fondly at the girl who he considered as a sister and who had been babysitting Logan since she was two years old.

"Fine, Louis it is then. Where's my munchkin?" Anna asked looking around.

"She's in the kitchen eating her cereal." Louis responded walking back to the kitchen.

"Anna banana!" Logan screamed getting off of the chair as fast as she could careful not to drop Mr. Curls and ran towards Anna.

"Hi munckin." Anna smiled.

"Love, daddy has to go now okay. Be a good girl and I love you lots." Louis said bending down to kiss and hug her.

"Bye bye daddy. I love you lots too." Logan said kissing him on the cheek.

"If you girls need anything or something happens call me okay?" Louis said starting to get nervous for what was coming.

"I will, have a nice day." Anna smiled.

Louis put his shoes on and grabbed his cell phone, wallet and keys and left the comfort of his home where it was just Logan and him waving one more time to his daughter then drove towards the monster he had been avoiding for the past four years. He fought away the urge to cry and the memories were pushed to the back of his mind as he got closer and closer to the man he still loved with all his heart but also the man who broke his heart and stole his innocence leaving only hate and disgust in its place.

~*~

Mustering all he had in him Harry managed to get out of bed and get ready for work stopping at Starbucks to get a blueberry muffin and hot chocolate, he never ate in his house because what was the point of eating there where he would be alone and everything would be too silent for his liking. He was already on set preparing every thing and eating off of his muffin every now and then when he saw him looking back at him and all the memories that always haunted his dreams came back in a flash making him blink them away and when he looked up again he was gone, yet the hate and disgust he saw etched on his face would forever be embedded in his mind and heart making his chest feel tight with hurt but what could he expect if he had ruined his life four years ago. He had to admit Louis had dramatically changed not only physically but he no longer gave out the same happy vibe he used to, he no longer did his hair like he used to, he no longer wore glasses, baggy pants, loose t-shirts and his beanies that Harry loved so much.

Louis was internally freaking out the moment he entered the building and had to fight hard to keep his emotions under control while the elevator took him closer and closer to him. The moment the elevator opened in the right floor Louis froze because there he was, setting up his equipment and eating off of a muffin completely unaware of him as millions of emotions went through him starting with the need to love him, then the memories of the countless times Harry beat him up and insulted him, followed by flashes of those memories that no matter what he did they just wouldn't leave him alone, heartbreak, disappointment, pain, hate and finally disgust. When he looked back at him with those green eyes he saw in Logan every day all he saw was shock registered on his face then he swore he could see sadness on his eyes but he gave a flying fuck about how he felt and giving him the most hateful and disgusted look he could come up with he turned around to meet with his stylist for the day.

Seeing him again after four years made him remember the night he went into labour and gave birth to Logan all alone in the hospital with only a stranger that had helped him and had been in the delivery room with him as the nurses thought he was the father and honestly he would've preferred him to be instead of Harry because he had been so nice as he waited for Louis' friends to get there so he wouldn't be alone yet he felt alone more than ever. Once Louis was dressed in a new outfit and his hair had been styled back into a quiff he made his way back to where Harry was to wait for him to get started, he was talking and smiling to one of the assistants there and Louis felt the urge to walk over there and tell her to fuck off but quickly erased those thoughts away.

"L- Louis?" Harry nervously looked at him with a camera ready in his hands.

"Yes?" Louis coldly answered and smirked when Harry flinched a little.

"We're ready." Harry said looking away trying not to cry because now he knew how much he had ruined him.

"About time." Louis snapped walking to stand where he was supposed to, in front of Harry where he could see all of him just like that day and couldn't help but feel vulnerable, feel his hands touching him, feel his lips and feel him inside of him. It was something he tried to forget because it made his skin crawl and the heartbreak intensify.

Harry observed Louis while he took picture after picture and noticed how deep in thought Louis was and his face was relaxed, no longer showing the hate and disgust that had been directed at him he knew very well he deserved. He couldn't help but think how gorgeous he looked, he was a bit more curvier than he had been before and he wondered why. His face was more defined and he had grown just a few more inches but he was still taller than him but his eyes no longer had their shine and were clouded with hate and sadness.

To Louis Harry was more gorgeous than he was before and he was beginning to hate himself for thinking that way but what could he do if part of him was still in love with him, part of him was still holding onto that feeling so strong yet so weak. His hair wasn't as curly as it used to be since it was longer and no longer in a fringe, his jaw was even more defined and he kept chewing on his bottom lip, a habit he knew Logan had inherited from him because she did it every time she was nervous, scared or about to cry pouting her lips even more as she did so. He could tell Harry was nervous and that made him feel superior for once in his life.

Thinking about her made him go all the way back to that night when he was scheduled for a C-Section in three days but had gone into labour sooner than planned with no one there to help him. He was already nine months pregnant and since he was a male he was bigger than a female at that point in the pregnancy and it annoyed him to no end because he couldn't do anything and Niall, Zayn, and Eleanor who had moved in with him into a three bedroom apartment always had to help him do stuff.

It was the thirteen of February and almost eleven when he made the stupid decision of telling Zayn, Niall and Eleanor that if they wanted to go to that party they had been talking about for the last month then they should go saying that he was just gonna go to bed and that the birth was scheduled in three more days and that he would be fine if he was left alone for a few hours. Big mistake. Thirty minutes after they had left and Louis was already in bed thinking about his son or daughter, he wanted the gender to be a surprise ignoring Zayn's protests of 'I have to know the sex or I won't be able to sleep and get the baby the right clothes' when he was startled by a painful contraction hitting him lasting more than thirty seconds before it was gone again, he slowly got up and decided to call his friends but was left to fend by himself when no one answered.

Ten minutes later another contraction hit him stronger and longer than the last one leaving him unable to move gasping for air and that's when he decided to just head out to the hospital by himself because he or she could not drop to his birth canal or his 'ass' and if his baby did both of them would be in big trouble. He managed to put his shoes and coat on grabbing his keys, wallet and cell phone stuffing them all in his pocket not noticing he had dropped the phone as he slowly waddled to the front door holding his bloated belly with one hand and supporting himself on the walls with the other complete with a bag for him and the baby. The cold night air hit him hard as he walked along the sidewalk trying to find a cab as soon as possible fighting the urge to just slump down and cry because it hurt like a bitch, it was Harry's fault he was in that situation and he was alone.

"Ow! Oh god, you can't get out now baby." Louis cried taking deep breaths leaning against a cold wall holding his stomach with both hands.

The tears wouldn't stop falling as he waddled feeling like the baby was in between his legs as he let out choked sobs every time a contraction hit him harder than the last one making him stop to catch his breath again and again. He reached for his cell phone and began crying louder when he realized he had dropped it at some point just as another painful contraction hit him making him fall down to the ground unable to get up again. He knew he was going to die trying to give birth to his baby out in the cold street knowing his birth canal wasn't designed for it and if he or she ripped him apart killing him then so be it because there was no way he was going to let the baby die. He thought about Harry and how happy he would be the second he found out he had died and it made his heart ache.

"Hey man, are you okay?" A tall guy who was getting out of his still running car that Louis hadn't noticed asked walking towards him.

"P- Please help me, I c- can't lose my baby." Louis cried trying to get up.

"Oh God you're in- you're in labour. C'mon I'm gonna take you to the hospital." The stranger said carefully picking Louis up taking him to his car then quickly driving away.

"Ahh, oh God it hurts." Louis wailed biting the sleeve of his coat and breathing hard.

"We're almost there. I'm Andy Samuels, you?" Andy asked trying to distract him away from the pain.

"Louis...T- Tomlinson." Louis answered then screamed as another contraction hit him and Andy flinched when Louis grabbed his forearm squeezing it hard.

"Do you- do you want me to call your boyfriend?" Andy asked focusing on the road then turned around to look at him when he heard a whimper.

"He's- he's not around, I don't want h- him around." Louis whimpered.

Harry could never find out he was pregnant and about to give birth, he could never find out he was going to be a father, the father of a child that would never be his. Harry was a monster and he didn't wanted him around his son or daughter.

"Do you know what you're having?" Andy asked completely fascinated, he had only seen another man pregnant and that was back in Wolverhampton when he was a kid.

"I-I don't know, it will be a surprise." Louis answered smiling a little at the thought of his baby.

"We're here mate, wait...I'll help you out." Andy said shutting off the engine then running over to Louis' side who was nearly screaming again holding his stomach.

"It- it hurts."

"I know I know but just think that soon you'll have your baby in your arms." Andy reassured him picking him again throwing the bag over his shoulder running as fast as he could inside the hospital.

Louis was lucky that his doctor was in the main lobby talking to a nurse and as soon as she saw him almost screaming in pain and holding his belly she immediately rushed over with a wheelchair to take him to the third floor to be prepared for a C-Section knowing they couldn't waste anymore time in order to avoid the baby getting stuck in the birth canal. He was wheeled to surgery leaving a worried Andy behind waiting and staring after Louis.

"What are you still doing here? Put this on and follow me, you don't want to miss the birth of your baby." A tall blond nurse smiled handing him a pair of blue scrubs, a surgical hat, booties and a medical face mask leaving him confused until he realized.

"But I'm-" Andy tried to say.

"Follow me, we don't have much time left." The nurse interrupted dragging him to where Louis was taking his time getting changed then disinfected.

"I'm sorry Louis, they think I'm the father." Andy apologized blushing as he looked at Louis who seemed relaxed now.

"It's okay, thanks for helping me. I don't know how I'll ever repay you." Louis smiled.

"For both of you to be okay is enough for me." Andy smiled.

"Okay Louis and-?"

"Andy."

"Right, we're about to start with the procedure. Louis please try and relax." Dr. Lane said.

"Tell me what they're doing." Louis begged Andy who look fascinated and green at the same time after a while when Louis began to feel small tugs.

"I-I think they're gonna pull the baby out now. You ready to hold him or her?" Andy asked and Louis began to freak out because no, he wasn't ready at all like he thought he was, like he had made himself and others believe for his own sake and sanity.

"What- What does it look like...the baby?" Louis asked.

"It looks like a head full of light brown curly hair...I'm not sure but it's definitely curly, not that much though." Andy whispered loud enough for only Louis to hear.

"W- What?" Louis asked trying not to cry as he remembered him.

"Oh God, definitely light brown curly hair and oh my God, has the cutest plump pouty lips." Andy gushed in awe unaware of Louis' mental break down.

"It's a girl, a valentine baby." Dr. Lane announced and when Louis heard her cry for the very first time all he felt was rejection towards her running through his heart, she couldn't look like him, she just couldn't.

"I don't want her, get her away from me. I don't wanna see her." Louis cried closing his eyes refusing to acknowledge her as the baby cried louder and wiggled around in the doctor's arm almost like she was sensing his rejection.

"Lou..." Dr. Lane trailed off understanding him knowing how he had conceived her then gave her to a surprised Andy who had no choice but to hold the tiny bundle of beige blankets.

"Louis...she's fine. She's a tiny beautiful baby, she's your daughter and she needs you." Andy attempted to give her to him but Louis only flinched away.

"It's his too and she looks like him, she can't look like him he's a monster. I didn't wanted but he fo- forced me." Louis cried and Andy sadly realized what he meant, he didn't wanted to hold her because she looked like her other father.

"If you don't wanna hold her at least look at her before they take her." Andy begged, even though they were strangers he couldn't stand the thought of the baby being rejected by her own father because of her other father's wrong doing.

"I'm scared..." Louis mumbled fighting the urge to open his eyes until he heard his daughter's miserable whimpers then opened his eyes seeing tiny delicate arms and legs peeking out of the blankets flailing around and as Andy set her on top of his chest with her head resting on it he looked down at her and was left mesmerized. It was like love at first sight, it no longer mattered that she was his and looked like him, all that mattered was that she was Louis' and he was hers.

"I love you sweety, I'm sorry I'm so sorry." Louis cried wrapping his arms around her tiny body.

"Louis I have to go, do you want me to call your family?" Andy asked wiping away his tears.

"We already called his flat mates and they're on their way." A nurse informed them.

"Thank you, Andy thank you so much for helping me." Louis said still staring at his daughter.

"No problem, I'll wait in the waiting area until your friends get here. Take good care of her, she's a gorgeous baby girl." Andy said looking one more time at the baby before he smiled at Louis and left.

A few minutes later the baby was taken from Louis and he was taken to his room where he waited for his three friends to get there and his baby girl to be given back to him. It had only been about an hour since he had last seen her and he already missed her, he missed feeling her move inside of him letting him know that she was still there and would never hate him or leave him alone. He wondered how he had gotten a gorgeous and innocent tiny human being out of a mistake.

"Lou? I knew we shouldn't have gone to that damn party." A worried Eleanor almost yelled walking in with Zayn and Niall following her.

"We're okay." Louis said trying to calm her down.

"That nice lad Andy told us he found you laying on a sidewalk." Niall said as he reached to hug Louis.

"I'm sorry we didn't answered. Where's the baby?" Zayn asked looking around secretly wishing so hard for a girl.

"The nurses will bring her in a few minutes." Louis smiled.

"Her? It's a girl? Oh my gosh yes!" Eleanor squealed giving Niall and Zayn an I told you so look noticing Zayn's shit eating grin.

"What are you gonna name her? You never told us a name." Niall asked sitting on the bed next to Louis careful not to jostle him around so much.

"Logan Hunter, I've always liked Logan," Louis smiled then frowned when they didn't look too happy. "What?"

"Logan starts with an L like Louis and Hunter with an H like Harry. Why?" Zayn asked hating to know this and fighting the urge to hunt Harry down for what he had done to Louis who did nothing but love him.

"Because I'm the idiot who's still in love with him." Louis mumbled looking down as his eyes filled with tears that rolled down his cheeks as Niall wiped them away.

"Zayn, really!?" Niall glared at Zayn who looked down.

"Well I love both names- oh my gosh there she is." Eleanor once again squealed as the nurse handed Louis his daughter.

"Hi love, I missed you." Louis said looking down at her who still had her eyes closed as his friends stood by him cooing over her.

"She's gorgeous." All three of them said at the same time then laughed as they shared a look, even that small Logan was like a copy of Harry and they just hoped that didn't affected the way Louis saw and felt about her in the future.

"I love you sweetheart, daddy will always love you no matter what." Louis mumbled fixing her tiny pink hat with a flower on it provided by the hospital as she let out tiny squeaks moving her tiny arms around.

"Louis? Louis!?" Louis was taken back from his memory as he blinked looking around noticing that time went fast when caught in memories then his eyes filled with hate when he noticed Harry looking at him.

"Yes?" Louis asked.

"W- We're done. Could I talk to you?" Harry asked, eyes pleading.

"No, I have important things to do." Louis answered taking a step back to go change back into his clothes and go back to his flat to cuddle with his daughter for the rest of the day.

"Lou, please I-" Harry begged taking a step closer noticing how Louis' eyes widened.

"Don't you ever call me Lou again you insignificant bastard." Louis snapped glaring at Harry balling his hands into fists.

"I- I just wanted to apologize. I'm really sorry." Harry continued trying not to cry as he watched how Louis looked at him with so much hate.

"Is that your way of setting everything right or do you just want my forgiveness to shut your conscience up and feel like a decent person again?" Louis asked wanting to know the answer.

"El told me you're in love with me after you left." Harry said and mentally slapped himself because he was there to apologize and set things right again, not sound like a cocky bastard.

"You never changed, you're still the same ass hole and I don't anymore, I don't. Back then I was the idiot who was in love with a fucking bastard who did nothing but hurt me and put me down over and over again but I would still love him like a fool, would still look at him like he was a fucking saint. You're nothing but a monster, a rapist and I hope you're never happy. I hope you're miserable for the rest of your fucking life just like I am." Louis spat then walked away with a now crying Harry following him.

"Louis please..." Harry pleaded grabbing Louis by the arm then stumbled a few steps back covering his cheek after Louis had slapped him.

"Don't touch me." Louis nearly screamed trying not to panic as he watched Harry with wide eyes.

"I- I wasn't going to hurt you." Harry mumbled, tears streaming down his face.

"You already did. I begged you to stop but you didn't. I never did anything wrong to you other than love you with all my heart. Do me a favor and leave me alone, I don't want to see you ever again." Louis glared.

"Louis..." Harry cried.

"Go to hell." Louis yelled walking out of there towards the dressing room to change and leave as soon as possible.

"Hi Mr. Tomlinson, these are your clothes." The same assistant Harry had been talking to earlier said handing him his clothes.

"Thank you." Louis mumbled taking the clothes.

"I think Mr. Styles fancies you." She said smiling and going through the clothes.

"What?"

"I said I think Mr. Styles likes you, I could tell by the way he was looking at you." She explained.

"He's not gay, he's straight." Louis argued.

"I've known him for three years and I'm pretty sure he's gay, he's never dated anybody but I know he's gay because he told me so. I have to go, it was a pleasure working with you." She smiled and walked out of the room.

As soon as she left Louis began breathing hard, Harry motherfucking Styles was fucking gay and yet he had tortured him then scarred him for life and all for nothing. He felt hot tears burning his eyes as he quickly changed back into his clothes and ran out of there and the building as fast as he could wanting nothing to do but lay in his bed and cry, cry until he could no longer shed another tear, scream his throat raw until he could taste the blood. He wanted to rip his heart out of his chest and stomp over it just so he could stop feeling miserable, just so he could stop loving him. He hated himself for loving him despite of everything he ever did to him, he hated himself for not hating him enough. He hated himself for the way he had let Harry walk all over him and as he drove home he swore to never let Harry get to him again like four years ago when he was left an emotional and mental mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/Mobile%20Uploads/PicsArt_1385827332724_zps3b454caf.jpg.html)   
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> Feedback is always welcome guys! :)


	4. The worst kind of pain*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No flashbacks today. :)
> 
> And while typing I listened to this song, that's how I came up with the name of the chapter, if you want to listen to it. :)
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCnKl5VQ10s

"Daddy!" Logan shouted getting off of the couch and running to Louis with a chocolate ice cream cone in one hand.

"Hi baby." Louis said as cheerfully as he could feeling anything but that.

"You're back." Logan smiled giving him a sticky kiss since her mouth and the area around it was covered in sticky ice cream including the tip of her nose.

"I am, did you go to the park?" Louis asked trying not to wipe off the ice cream off of his cheek since Logan was watching him with eyes full of adoration and she might think Louis didn't want her to kiss him.

It had happened once a few months back when she had given him a kiss while she was eating mashed potatoes smearing some on his cheek and he had reached to wipe it off not noticing his daughter was watching until he heard tiny sniffles then saw her running to Zayn who caught her in his arms. She had cried for one hour straight refusing to let go of Zayn or whoever was willing to hold her while Louis kept trying to make her go to him until he decided to leave her alone for a bit and as he had started walking to his room to tidy up a little bit she began crying for him, they spent the rest of the day watching all three toy story movies.

"Mr. Tomli- Louis. You're back early." Anna commented walking back into the living room with Logan's towel in her hands.

"Photoshoot ended way earlier than I thought, the- the photographer was good. Were you gonna give her a bath?" Louis asked fighting to keep the tears from spilling.

"Yeah, she's a messy eater and I know she has to take a bath before bed or she won't go to sleep but she's sticky." Anna carefully explained as if she was in trouble.

"It's okay, I'll just clean her up with a wet wipe. Don't worry about it." Louis tried to smile.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked putting the towel down glancing back at Logan who was watching The Amazing World of Gumball almost as if she were hypnotized by it and giving the ice cream kitten licks.

"Y- yeah I'm just tired. Let me give you your paycheck for the week, tomorrow's saturday so I don't need you to babysit her for the weekend and you can take the rest of the day off." Louis said walking over to his room coming back with a check.

"Thank you. Are you sure you're okay? Your nose is red and your eyes are watery." Anna asked with concern written all over her face.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold, I'll be fine. Don't worry about it.." Louis insisted.

"Alright then, have a nice weekend. I'll see you monday munchkin." Anna said picking Logan up and kissing her sticky cheek.

"Bye bye Anna banana. I love you." Logan giggled giving her a kiss back.

"I love you too darling." Anna smiled giving her to Louis before she left.

"C'mon love, I need to clean you up a bit." Louis said after Anna had left walking towards the kitchen where he grabbed a wet wipe out of the drawers cleaning her face as she squirmed trying to get away.

"Stop." Logan whined leaning backwards, away from the evil wipe assaulting her face.

"You're sticky, I need to get it off." Louis insisted and after a while she calmed down after he promised to take her to the park again the next day.

They spent the rest of the afternoon watching movies, eating, and playing all the while Louis tried so hard not to break down and cry because it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair at all what Harry had done to him. He had written the words 'worthless fag' with Sharpie on his locker, he had ruined his chances of ever dating anyone and actually willingly losing his virginity to any of them only to be taken away by Harry who as sick as it was had been saving it for him to take. He had no right to, it wasn't his to take and what hurt the most was that if Harry had had reciprocated his feelings for him then he would have had willingly given him his virginity up in a heartbeat. Even though he would never forget all the awful things he said to him, all the bruises he gave him, how disgusting he made him feel while he was on top of him touching him he still had to thank him for giving him his most precious possession. He had given him Logan who would look up from her coloring book to make sure her daddy was still there and then give him the most precious smile before going back to coloring and Louis knew she was only his, not Harry's, only his and he would never let him go near her.

"Love, it's time for your bath then bedtime." Louis smiled at a pouting Logan whose bedtime was at eight pm sharp and needed to take a bath time before.

"I wants a bubble bath." Logan cheered forgetting about her coloring book and running to her bathroom leaving a trail of clothes behind and Louis picked them up but unable to smile as usual knowing that soon he'll get his release.

She played with her dolls as Louis filled the tub with warm water pouring in a good amount of strawberry scented bubbles and once it was half full he picked her up and slowly lowered her into the water where she immediately began splashing water around as Louis knelt on the floor next to the bathtub sadly looking at her wondering where he would be now if he didn't had her. He'll probably be alone just like Harry had said he would with the exception that he wouldn't be there either.

"Daddy look! I'm a mermaid." Logan giggled showing him by moving her legs together as if she was swimming.

"You are! You are my beautiful little mermaid." Louis cheered back not as enthusiastically.

"I'm the mermaid princess and you and daddy no name are the kings." Logan said picking up one of her dolls as Louis washed her hair, his eyes quickly filling with unshed tears.

She kept playing with whatever toy she could find in the bathtub while Louis rinsed her hair and washed her tiny body wiping the tears away stopping when he heard a small gasp and saw Logan looking back at him with wide green/blue eyes full of concern for a three almost four year old.

"Daddy why you cwying?" She asked beginning to cry herself and Louis immediately picked her up wrapping her in her warm and fluffy pink towel holding her close to his chest letting the tub drain out then walked back to her room to get her dressed.

"I'm not crying baby, I got soap in my eyes." Louis lied as he dried her hair with the towel.

"Okay daddy." Logan said getting distracted with Louis thanking the gods and wishing he could easily get distracted just like her.

"Goodnight baby girl, I love you." Louis said kissing her forehead after he brushed her long hair, dressed her, read her a story and tucked her in.

"Goodnight, I love you too daddy." Logan whispered and Louis smiled a little turning off the light and walking to his bedroom where he stripped down to his boxers and got on his bed.

Minutes later he couldn't hold it anymore and began crying as the silent sobs violently shook his body wanting nothing but to end the pain already but he couldn't, he had a little girl, a daughter that depended on him, his baby girl who he loved with all his heart and who was his sunshine. He couldn't leave her alone no matter how miserable he was. He turned on his side when he abruptly remembered Harry telling him Eleanor had basically confronted him and told him his secret after he asked her not to, finding out that he knew he was in love with him made him cry harder because for almost four years Harry had known he was in love with him and never bothered looking for him to apologize until now when Louis didn't needed it anymore.

He was angry at Eleanor for telling him but later he figured out that it didn't mattered anymore because what's done was done and she had always and still is there for him along with Zayn and Niall whenever he and Logan need them. Wiping way the tears that burned his eyes he decided to just go to sleep earlier so he could have enough energy to play tomorrow with his daughter because as small as she was that little girl was brutal when it came to the park.

~*~

Harry got to his flat earlier than expected throwing his stuff down and going straight for the shower and as he stood under the water he finally burst out crying silently like he always did. 'I hope you're miserable for the rest of your fucking life just as I am.' 'I never did anything wrong to you other than love you with all my heart.' Those words kept repeating themselves in his head over and over again torturing him to the point where he fell on his knees covering his face with his hands. 'Back then I was the idiot who was in love with a fucking bastard who did nothing but hurt me and put me down over and over again but I would still love him like a fool, I would still look at him like he was a fucking saint.' And Harry remembered the countless times he had caught Louis staring at him longingly and would look away blushing and Harry cried harder as he remembered how badly he would beat him up for looking at him when the poor boy did nothing but love him. He was probably the only person who had ever loved him sincerely and unconditionally not caring about his flaws and he had wasted it all away with his actions. 'You're nothing but a monster, a rapist and I hope you're never happy.' He was right and Harry knew it, Louis hoped for him to never be happy and that's what was happening, he wasn't happy and never will be.

He got out of the shower after cleaning himself clumsily wrapping a towel around his waist and changing into a black hoodie and jeans, after he was done he walked back to his living room turning the tv on that he never used and started watching a random show for kids called The Amazing World of Gumball finding it quite funny but at the moment he couldn't laugh nor smile. He began wondering what it would be like now if he had done things right, if he had never bullied Louis and accepted who he was. If he had come out on time and confess every thing to Louis then maybe they would be together now and they would be happy because after almost four years he was still in love with him and after seeing him again in person those feelings were stronger than ever.

"Harry, open the door!" Liam yelled from outside the flat as Harry looked up and walked towards the door wondering what Liam was doing outside yelling instead of knocking.

"Why are you yelling?" Harry asked right before he noticed him carrying Chinese take out and a few drinks, he immediately took the food motioning for Liam to come in.

"So uh, I invited one of my friends from Wolverhampton to come over. Hope you don't mind." Liam said.

"Nah, the more the merrier." Harry said walking to the kitchen to get three plates, two spoons and a fork for Liam.

"Haz...are you okay?" Liam asked taking a seat on the couch noticing how depressed Harry looked.

"He absolutely hates me Liam. It's like...he's not the same." Harry almost yelled turning off the tv plopping down on the couch next to Liam.

"Well what did you expect? I don't wanna be an ass hole but if he's like that it's all your fault an-" Liam said getting interrupted by the door.

"Your friend's here." Harry mumbled taking a bite of his food watching Liam as he got up to answer it.

Harry used that time to reach for one of his bags taking out a printed picture of Louis looking at it but quickly putting it on his coffee table forgetting about it when he saw Liam walking back in with a man taller than he was.

"Harry this is Andy Samuels, Andy this is Harry Styles." Liam introduced them as they shook hands.

"Nice to meet you." Andy smiled taking a seat in front of Harry and Liam.

"Me too, is this your first time here in London?" Harry asked trying to smile but feeling like he rather be crying and drowning in his own misery.

"No, I used to live here but I moved to Manchester a few months ago. Thank you." Andy said taking the plate Liam offered to him.

"Harry and I went to Uni in Manchester!" Liam exclaimed elbowing Harry who only nodded smiling a bit.

"Tha- oh, is this the Louis Tomlinson? Wow he's changed a lot since the last time I saw him." Andy said putting his plate down picking up the picture with a smile on his face making Harry want to rip the picture away from him.

"Harry worked with him today, do you know him?" Liam asked trying to get Andy to talk for Harry's sake.

"Not really but we met under special circumstances, I'll never forget that night." Andy said still looking at the picture and taking a bite of his food.

"Why, what happened?" Harry asked trying not to sound desperate.

"It happened- and I'll always remember the date because I honestly experienced a miracle. It was february thirteenth three almost four years ago, I was driving home from work through this really deserted street late at night when I noticed him walking alone with difficulty then out of nowhere he fell down and just couldn't get up again and I decided to see what was wrong." Andy explained.

"What was wrong?" Harry urged wanting to know desperately what had been wrong with Louis.

"This is where it gets interesting. He was in labour and by the looks of it it looked like the baby was going to pop out at any minute and that wouldn't have been good for the father." Andy said with a faraway look as if he was remembering while still eating.

"He was- what?" Harry asked not believing what he was hearing because if Louis had been in labour almost four years ago then that meant the baby was his son or daughter.

"Male pregnancy is not uncommon anymore guys, it's completely normal and accepted. At first I didn't know what was wrong with him until I asked if he was okay and he literally begged me to help him saying he couldn't lose his baby and without thinking I took him to a hospital." Andy said taking a sip of his drink as Liam and Harry stared wide eyed at each other.

"Did- did the b- baby made it?" Harry asked hating himself for what he had done to Louis, hating the thought that Louis could have died that night trying to give birth to their baby in the cold streets and couldn't help himself but press for more information.

"Yeah we got there on time but the whole way he wouldn't stop screaming and crying every time a contraction would hit him. A nurse actually thought I was the father and she dragged me to surgery with him, that's why I experienced a miracle. I experienced the birth of a beautiful baby girl, I remember she was the cutest and tiniest thing ever with her tiny pouty plump lips and a head full of already curly hair the color of Louis' hair. She had curly hair like you Harry." Andy smiled putting the picture down eating almost finishing his food.

Harry felt like his world was falling apart as he heard the last sentence echoing around his head making it spin uncontrollably. He had a daughter, he had a daughter with Louis and he never bothered looking for him to tell him he was pregnant with HIS child. He didn't know her, she didn't know him and he wasn't part of her life because Louis had never bothered to tell him, he felt jealous remembering that Andy had been there, had welcomed her into the world taking a place that belonged to him. All Liam could do was stare at Harry wide eyed and before Harry could say something Andy started talking again breaking Harry's heart.

"I was telling him what his daughter looked like and as soon as the doctor announced it was a Valentine baby girl he started freaking out telling the doctor to get her away from him, that he didn't wanted her or to see her. It broke my heart to see him like that then the doctor gave me the baby to hold since she had to stitch him up and all I could do was beg him to hold her and- oh god. I didn't know why he would reject her like that out of nowhere when earlier he had been excited and- and he started panicking telling me how she looked like him and that he was a monster who had forced him. That- that son of a bitch abused him and that's why he told me he didn't wanted the other father around them when I asked him if he wanted me to call his boyfriend." Andy said shaking his head at the memory.

"He did hold her right, he accepted her?" Liam asked for Harry who was too stunned to ask himself.

"Yeah, I got him to hold her and it was such a precious moment but it tore me up when he apologized to her for not wanting to hold her. I wish I could see them again and see how they're doing, he had three friends there with him right as I was about to leave but I honestly wouldn't be too surprised if he gave her up for adoption because I've never seen that little girl around him whenever he's out in public." Andy said finishing with a sigh.

"I- I don't feel too good." Harry mumbled taking deep breaths.

"Harry what's wrong?" Liam asked.

"My- my head hurts, a migraine." Harry lied wanting them to leave and Liam quickly understood.

"Andy you still up to go to that bar?" Liam asked.

"You read my mind mate." Andy laughed.

"Why don't you go ahead and I'll be there in a minute." Liam said.

"Yeah. It was nice meeting you Harry, hope you feel better." Andy smiled waving at him and heading for the door, as soon as he was gone the dam broke and Harry started crying harder than he had ever cried before.

"I- I have a daughter! Liam we had a...a daughter and he never looked for me just like I did to tell me. He- he hid her from me and- and I don't even know if he has her." Harry wailed looking at Liam with desperate eyes.

"What did you expect? I'm sorry for what I'm about to say but did you think that after all the things you said and did to him he would come back to tell you, that what you did to him not only had emotional and mental consequences but also a child was conceived? It doesn't work like that Harry, you just told me how much he hates you and what not so I wouldn't be surprised if he gave that baby up for adoption and if he kept her...if he kept her he probably doesn't want you around her. I gotta go Haz, please don't do anything stupid." Liam said picking up the dirty dishes and trash heading for the kitchen to put them away then walked out of the flat leaving Harry in his own misery.

Harry pulled his legs close to his chest wiping away the tears that just wouldn't stop falling thinking about Louis and their daughter, he smiled a tiny bit at the thought of her and how much he already loved her even though he didn't know her and would possibly never know her if Louis had given her up and if he did he was going to look for her. All he wanted to do was run out of his flat and find Louis just so he could see her, hug her tight and tell her how much he loved her. He wondered what she looked like and whether she looked like Louis or him or a perfect combination of both of them, he wanted to know what her name was and her personality, he wanted to know what her favorite color was, her favorite show, he wanted to know every single thing about her but couldn't.

According to Andy she was a Valentine baby so that meant she would be turning four in just a month, she had been born thirteen days after his birthday and he smiled just at the thought of her. However, his smile began to fade when he began to remember how they had conceived her and how he had yelled horrible things at Louis while hurting him, he cried harder as he remembered how Andy said he found him on the streets all alone trying to get to a hospital knowing he could have been there if he hadn't been an ass hole. He wanted to die just thinking of what Louis had gone through and how he had rejected her just because she was his. He wanted to get on his knees in front of Louis and beg for forgiveness and beg him to let him see her, he knew Louis might never forgive him and might never let him meet her if he still had her because of all his damn mistakes and all the things he ever said and did to Louis.

The thought that Louis and himself will forever be tied by a daughter wouldn't leave his head, it wouldn't leave him alone. He had fucked up big time and he wanted nothing but to go back in time and do things differently because if he had done things differently then maybe he wouldn't be alone like he was. He remembered how after beating Louis up he had told him that he would forever be alone with no one to love him, he sobbed realizing that he was the one who was alone with no one to love him. Louis had their daughter and he was sure she loved her dad with all her heart, Louis had every thing and he had nothing but he deserved it. Wanting to talk to someone he got up and went to his room to get his cellphone dialing his mum hoping she would pick up, she knew every thing and after months of her watching him with disappointment they finally had a heart to heart conversation with Harry telling her every thing and his feelings for Louis.

"Harry?" Anne said through the phone getting worried since all she could hear was Harry's soft cries.

"Mum! I- I have..." Harry sobbed trying to talk but failing.

"Harry calm down, breathe honey. Baby what's wrong?" Anne frantically asked getting worried as Harry only cried harder at the word baby.

"T- that night mum, that night had consequences and- and I- I have daughter mum." Harry sobbed as he rocked himself back and forth sitting on the floor by his bed.

"Did Louis told you?" Anne asked.

"No, a frie- you knew?" Harry asked feeling betrayed that his own mother knew and had kept it to herself.

"Harry I-" Anne pleaded.

"All this time you knew about her existence and you never bothered telling me? Wh- what are you gonna tell me now? That you know her and she knows you and calls you grandma when I don't know a single fuck about her! Everybody knows her except me, she knows everyone except me." Harry screamed feeling a hole in his chest.

"Harry love calm down, I just found out a month ago." Anne explained wanting nothing but to run all the way to London and comfort her son.

"H- Have you met her? Please mum, please tell me what she's like." Harry pleaded.

"I don't know her Harry. Louis hasn't visited ever since he left, he never does since the Tomlinson's always go to London to see him. I found out when I was over for dinner and Daisy came in running with pictures of Louis holding a baby and after questioning Jay she had no choice but to tell Gemma and I." Anne explained.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked completely broken.

"Jay begged me not to tell you just following Louis' orders of you never finding out." Anne slowly said trying to ease the blow.

"W- Why would he do that, why would he keep me away from my daughter? My, she's mine too, he had no right!" Harry cried desperately.

"Harry...." Anne teared up.

"She's mine..." Harry softly said feeling his chest tightening with hurt.

"Harry think of all the things you ever did to him...he was in love with you and all you ever did was hurt him and abuse him all because you were afraid of being yourself and he wasn't. That night you finally and completely broke him, he's not the same anymore and it took him a while to at least smile a little again. I'm sorry that I have to tell you this Harry but he hates you, Jay told me he can't forget about what you did to him and he doesn't want you around Logan." Anne explained feeling bad for the situation they were in.

"Her name's Logan?" Harry eagerly asked as he wiped the tears away.

"Logan Hunter. Jay couldn't show me a recent picture of her because Louis refuses to give her any afraid that you or anyone of us could see it." Anne said.

"S- So that means he kept her." Harry asked hopefully.

"Yeah, he kept her and Jay says she looks just like you and all she got from Louis was his nose, cheekbones, hair color and some of his blue that she says managed to combine with your green." Anne gushed as Harry smiled and cried at the same time feeling happy but depressed all at the same time.

"How did you find out?" Anne asked.

"Andy, a friend of Liam came over and started telling us about how he helped Louis when he was about to give birth in the street when he saw the picture I took from today's photoshoot." Harry explained calming down a bit.

"How did it go?" Anne asked.

"Horrible mum, I wanted to say how truly sorry I am and he yelled awful things at me that I deserve and now the guilt is eating me alive more than ever knowing all the things he went through because of me." Harry said.

"Do you- do you want to see the pictures?" Anne asked nervously.

"You have pictures?" Harry asked getting up from the bed pacing back and forth in his room.

"I discreetly took pictures with my phone when they weren't looking." Anne said feeling guilty as if she had murdered someone.

"Please mum..." Harry begged.

"Honey I gotta go but I'll message you the pictures and please promise me you're not gonna do anything dumb. I love you baby." Anne said.

"I love you too mum, bye." Harry said hanging up and desperately waiting for the pictures.

It felt like centuries before Harry heard the phone vibrate telling him he had a message, he shakily attempted to open it cursing a few times when he messed up. He finally opened it and began crying when he saw the two blurry pictures, looking at them tracing Louis' face then his daughter's with his finger.

"Logan Hunter..." Harry repeated bringing the phone close to his chest crying loudly knowing no one would hear him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." Harry whispered laying down on his bed uttering cries and apologies no one would ever hear.

He had to set things right with Louis if he wanted to see his daughter, he fell asleep clutching the phone close to his chest and thinking of ways to see them and dreaming of Louis and the daughter he knew nothing of but wished with all his heart to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretend that's Logan. Lol
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> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/Mobile%20Uploads/PicsArt_1380729257700_zps94417596.jpg.html)  
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> Comments and kudos are appreciated. :)


	5. I love you more than I can ever scream

Harry slowly opened his sore eyes looking around his bright room shielding his eyes with his hands, he felt something poking his right side and reached to pick it up noticing it was his cell phone. Confused as to what it had been doing underneath him he turned it on gasping as the memories from last night came rushing back hitting him like a train, he genuinely smiled again for the very first time in many years as he looked at one of the pictures his mum had sent him last night. It was a picture of Louis holding and feeding their daughter smiling lovingly down at her while she had Louis' pinky in her grip, he scrolled to the next picture to see Louis looking at the camera smiling so big looking happy holding her and Harry couldn't help but feel slightly jealous at the thought of her knowing him and calling him daddy while he had none of that.

 

He stared at her wishing he had been there when she was born, that he had been there holding and feeding her while both of them would exchange small glances and tender touches looking forward to being together as a family but of course that would never happen because as much as he wanted to be with them and form a family he knew Louis would never allow it. Turning the phone off and plugging it in to charge he noticed it was almost noon and he groaned getting up to take a shower knowing he had already wasted half of the day sleeping instead of getting up early and do something productive like capture the early morning with his camera. 

 

After showering, getting dressed, and getting something quick to eat he grabbed his camera and the necessary items before heading out to take a walk around the area hoping he'd see something he liked and take a picture to add to his never ending collection of random pictures. After walking for a while he ended up in a park not too far away from his flat where he sat down in a bench observing all the kids playing and then he lowered his gaze to go through the pictures saved up in his camera not wanting to look like a pedophile. He was busy analyzing a picture of a red rose when he heard the small cry of a little girl right in front of him, he looked up to see a really small girl sprawled on the ground and without thinking he immediately got up to help her.

 

"Hey love, you okay?" Harry asked her bending down lifting her up putting her in a sitting position on the grass.

 

"I fell..." She said about to cry.

 

"Hey it's okay, you're okay. See? Nothing happened, you're fine." Harry said trying to keep her from crying.

 

"I got a booboo and daddy doesn't like it." She teared up looking up at Harry whose breath was taken away the moment he saw her tiny red face due to the tears and her mesmerizing big green/blue eyes.

 

"You're fine sweety, don't cry." Harry soothed pulling her curls away from her face.

 

"You have curly hair too." She gasped reaching up to touch it forgetting about her injury as Harry who usually hated people touching his hair gladly let her touch it as she ran her small fingers through it feeling a connection with the little girl.

 

"I do. What's a princess like you doing here alone, where are your parents?" Harry smiled getting up lifting her up into his arms as he looked around trying to find her parents.

 

"I lost my daddy." She shrugged it off playing with his curls.

 

"I'll help you find him." Harry smiled grabbing his camera then started walking around the park with her in his arms.

 

"Daddy!" She squealed pointing at someone behind her and as Harry turned around with a smile on his face it quickly faded away when he saw him standing there with a teddy bear on his hands, his wide frightened eyes flickering nervously between who Harry now knew was Logan and himself.

 

Harry's eyes filled with stinging tears and his bottom lip trembled looking at Louis then turned his head to look at his daughter who was looking back at him with her green/blue eyes and how did he not notice it was her. She reached to wipe away a stray tear with her finger pouting her bottom lip.

 

"Why are you cwying curly, are you sad like daddy?" Logan asked stabbing him straight in the heart and before he could answer she was ripped away from his arms by a furious Louis.

 

"Get your filthy hands away from her." Louis nearly growled turning around to walk away from Harry with Logan in his arms.

 

"Louis...Louis wait. I know she's my daughter too." Harry said making Louis stop on his tracks as he hid Logan's face on his chest then turned around staring daggers at Harry who felt small under his murderous gaze.

 

"She is not! Stay. Away. From. Her." Louis spat through gritted teeth trying to hold a squirming Logan.

 

"I can't-I can't do that. Y-you can't keep her away from me, she's as much mine as she's yours." Harry argued walking closer to Louis standing in front of him pleading with his eyes.

 

"Watch me." Louis glared not moving an inch.

 

"Louis please, I just want to see her. Please..." Harry begged.

 

"You just did, now leave us alone. Leave the park so she can play in peace." Louis glared knowing he was being childish but at that point he didn't cared at all.

 

"Louis please..."

 

"Daddy I wants down." Logan screeched completely oblivious to what was going on.

 

"Not now Logan." Louis scolded moving away from Harry when he tried to touch her back.

 

"Just please let me at least hug her." Harry pleaded, his eyes filled with shiny tears that made Louis feel bad for him, Harry had done awful things to him but seeing him like that broke his heart.

 

"I can't let you do that, she doesn't know you and you're gonna scare her." Louis held her closer to his chest while she tried to unsuccessfully get down.

 

"Just...she let me hold her earlier. I have rights too you know, she's my daughter too and I have the right to see her whenever I want to." Harry said not wanting to argue but what else could he do if he was desperate.

 

Louis sighed setting Logan down as Harry took another step closer. "Why don't you go play with the other kids while I talk to that man." Louis said as he crouched down to Logan's level.

 

"Daddy I wants to play with you." Logan whined wrapping her skinny arms around Louis' neck.

 

"We will love but I gotta talk to him right now."

 

"Nooo...." Logan wailed clinging to Louis as he wrapped his arms around her looking at Harry's sad expression.

 

Harry sighed before kneeling down gently grabbing his daughter by the arm to make her look at him and his heart broke at the sight of her tear stained face. " You don't like playing with the other kids?"

 

"They don't like me curly." Logan mumbled looking at the other kids.

 

"Well I like you. I think you're the prettiest princess in this whole park." Harry smiled tapping her nose making her giggle as Louis watched in awe feeling jealousy and anger at how comfortable she was with him.Harry looked up at Louis with pleading eyes and Louis sighed as he nodded.

 

"Who are you?" Logan asked and Harry took a big breath knowing that what was about to say wasn't what Louis had agreed to with him at all.

 

"I'm...I'm your other daddy." Harry said cupping her head with his hand bringing her forward into a hug while he cried and gently rubbed her back.

 

"Daddy..." Logan whimpered and Harry immediately pulled back to look at her with a smile that immediately turned into a frown when he saw Logan looking at Louis and not him.

 

"I think you've done enough. Just...stay away from us." Louis said picking her up as she immediately hid her face in the crook of his neck wrapping her arms around it.

 

"I...no! She's my daughter too and I have the right to see her." Harry argued getting back up.

 

"She was never yours, you're never going to see or talk to her ever again. Got it?" Louis hissed walking away but stopping as soon as he heard the words Harry spoke next, his blood going cold.

 

"I don't think a court will agree with you, I'm her father too and like I said, I have rights." Harry said.

 

"You're threatening me again like that night? I didn't wanted you around then, I don't want you around now. Get that through your sick head, you were never supposed to know about her. You don't deserve her." Louis hissed as Harry flinched remembering what he had said to Louis that night.

 

"I just want to be in her life, I want her to know who I am. I want to spend time with her, Louis please." Harry begged standing in front of Louis reaching out for Logan who looked back at him with a mischievous tiny smile before she spoke again.

 

"Auntie El says you're a jerk. You gave daddy a booboo." Logan sighed resting her head against Louis' cheek while Louis observed Harry's broken expression.

 

"I didn't meant to baby girl, I didn't meant to hurt daddy." Harry mumbled with tears on his eyes as he fought the urge, the need to tell her much he still loved her daddy.

 

"Just go, get out of my life." Louis said putting Logan down as she kept yelling Alex over and over then she took off running towards a blond little boy her age grabbing his hand pulling him towards the playground.

 

"Lou-" Harry took a step closer to Louis.

 

"You had no right to tell her that." Louis snapped startling Harry due to Louis' completely different tone of voice once they were alone.

 

"And you had no right to hide her from me." Harry spat back starting to get angry.

 

Louis scoffed, "What the fuck did you expect, huh? You raped me, you tortured me for years, you beat the shit out of me for being gay when you're one yourself. You didn't deserved to know, you don't deserve her and I wasn't going to let her grow up around you." Louis whisper shouted glaring daggers at Harry.

 

"I'm sorry okay! I know it was wrong and I'm so sorry. It's just...You made me question my sexuality and I hated it. I hated you for making me fall in love with you more and more every time you smiled or even glanced my way and I was scared." Harry confessed avoiding Louis' gaze choosing to watch Logan play.

 

"-Bullshit. You don't hurt the people you love. If you had really loved me you wouldn't have hurt me the way you did, I never hurt you." Louis sighed looking at Harry who was trying to hold back the tears and he almost felt bad for him. Almost.

 

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserve anything but I can't stay away from her...or you. I can't just pretend she doesn't exist, she's right there and she's mine. I already missed almost four years of her life." Harry said looking at Louis desperately.

 

"Try." Louis snapped watching her pick a few red wild flowers from the edge of the playground.

 

"What if I asked you to do the same? Would you be able to forget about her, would you be able to go a day without her?" Harry asked then smiled when he saw Logan clumsily running up to them holding the flowers she had picked.

 

"I'm not the one who fucked up." Louis mumbled before Logan got there.

 

"Curly?" Logan timidly asked offering him the small flowers and looking up at Harry with wide eyes as Harry crouched down in front of her.

 

"Are these for me?" Harry asked smiling so big his face might split in half at any minute at the thought of her giving him her first gift.

 

"Mhm." Logan said shifting from foot to foot. 

 

Can-can I get a hug?" Harry asked her afraid that she'll say no but smiled when she nodded, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head on his left shoulder as Harry held her tight silently crying.

 

"I love you baby girl, dad loves you and I promise I'll never let anything bad happen to you. I promise I'll always take care of you and be there for you. I love you." Harry promised cupping her head on his hand rubbing her scalp and looking at Louis with watery pleading eyes.

 

Louis internally groaned already feeling his walls crumbling down all around him. He had pleaded to Harry to let him go twice and he didn't listened so why would he but at the same time he felt the urge to make him feel better despite of everything he had done in the past, the old Louis was coming back and he didn't liked it. He watched as he talked to his daughter making her giggle surprised that she was comfortable around him even though she had only known him for a short amount of time. He knew what he was about to do was going to comeback and bite him in the ass and he was going to regret it but he couldn't let Harry take him to court and put Logan through that. Harry had finally let go of Logan and she ran back to her friend who was patiently waiting for her as Harry watched her lovingly and with adoration clear on his eyes.

 

"If-if I let you see her you promise you're not gonna hurt her?" Louis asked looking at Harry.

 

"I would never hurt her, I would never hurt you, not again." Harry wiped his tears away.

 

"I don't want you around her but I don't want you to claim custody or something like that so yeah...I'm gonna let you see her every now and then." Louis said looking at Harry.

 

"T-Thank you." Harry smiled wanting to hug him.

 

"Who told you?" Louis asked sitting on a bench in front of them with Harry following.

 

"Last night Liam invited one of his childhood friends over to my house, the same person who helped you that night. He didn't know we know you." Harry explained.

 

"Andy Samuels? Thanks to him Logan and I are alive." Louis said unable to be mad at Andy and making Harry flinch.

 

"How often would I be able to see her?" Harry asked watching her.

 

"I don't know." Louis said feeling extremely weird and confused sitting with Harry having a conversation after every thing he had done to him.

 

They silently watched Logan play with the little boy Louis assumed was Alex until an older kid roughly pushed her into the ground and she began to cry loudly calling for her daddy and before Louis could get up Harry was already there with Logan in his arms comforting her while she clung to him desperately. Louis took Harry's forgotten camera with him and quickly made his way to them noticing how Harry was glaring at the kid and his mother who was scolding him. Harry got up with her in his arms and she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist to keep him from putting her down while he towered over the mother who was trying to apologize.

 

"Is she okay?" Louis asked Harry.

 

"She scraped her elbow." Harry said.

 

"I'm really really sorry." The woman said looking at both Louis and Harry.

 

"It's okay, they're just kids." Louis said smiling a little then frowned when Harry scoffed.

 

The woman walked away pulling her kid with her and Louis turned around to look at Harry rocking Logan from side to side whispering things in her ear while she hicupped.

 

"I saw what happened, is she okay?" A man no older than Harry and Louis asked them as he grabbed Alex's small hand on his.

 

"She's okay uh..." Louis said.

 

"Oh sorry, I'm Brian Peterson. Your daughter and my son always play together and that guy making his way over here is my husband David." Brian said shaking hands with both Louis and Harry.

 

"I'm Louis Tomlinson." Louis smiled.

 

"And you are?" Brian asked Harry.

 

"Is my curly." Logan hicupped looking at Brian coming out from hiding her face on Harry's neck.

 

"I'm Harry Styles." Harry smiled wiping Logan's tears away with his thumb.

 

"No...It's curly not 'arry." Logan insisted.

 

"Hello, you guys must be Logan's parents. I'm David." He said walking up to them shaking hands with them.

 

"I'm assuming one of you had her, she looks so much like both of you." Brian smiled picking Alex up.

 

"Yeah, uh I was the one who carried her." Louis said looking at Harry who looked down.

 

"Really? I carried Alex, I'm glad I met you." David chuckled.

 

"Well, it was nice meeting you, we have to go." Brian said shifting Alex over to his other hip.

 

"It was nice meeting you too." Harry smiled.

 

"Bye bye Alex." Logan smiled shifting over to look at her friend.

 

"Bye 'ogan." Alex waved as him and his parents walked away holding hands and laughing while Harry watched them wishing he and Louis were like that.

 

"You should give her to me, we have to go." Louis said holding his arms out for Logan.

 

"Already? When can I see her again?" Harry asked wincing a bit as Logan harshly poked the tip of one of his swallow tattoos poking out of his shirt then slowly removed her hand away from it when she started using her nails thinking it was a sticker.

 

"I don't know...give me your cell phone and I'll text you my number." Louis hesitated after Harry gave him his cell phone then texted himself as Harry made silly faces to Logan.

 

"Do you think I could spend the day with her tomorrow? Just she and I." Harry nervously asked hoping for a yes.

 

"Absolutely not. I don't trust you and I absolutely don't trust you alone with her." Louis glared handing Harry his cell phone.

 

"Why not? I'm her dad too you know, I'm not gonna hurt her Louis. All I want is to spend time with her and bond." Harry said.

 

"Look if you want to see her it has to be when I'm around where I can see her and know she's okay. If I'm not around then you can't see her at all, that's a rule you have to follow. Either take it or leave it." Louis snapped getting tired of arguing with Harry.

 

"Okay then." Harry sighed then looked at Logan. "Dad has to go but I'll see you later. Love you sweetheart." Harry said hugging her and releasing her when she began squirming.

 

"Ready to go love?" Louis smiled taking her from Harry giving him his camera back.

 

"Bye baby girl, I love you." Harry smiled sadly at having to separate himself from her.

 

"Bye bye curly." Logan waved as Louis walked away with her in his arms while Harry tried to ignore the pang in his chest at her not saying I love you back and Louis wanting to stay as far away from him as possible.

 

Louis' heart was beating fast as he buckled her up in her car seat and once he got on the drivers side he immediately drove away noticing Harry taking a picture of a single white rose, Harry found out about her and now he wanted to be a part of her life. Louis just wanted to take her and get out of London and if possible even England just to escape him, put miles between them because he didn't think he would be able to handle having Harry around and Logan getting attached to him if she wasn't already and start calling him dad. He thought about how good he was with her and how he was already protective over her just like he himself was but that wasn't enough for him. Part of him wanted him to know her but there was that other part that just wanted him to stay away from her and he regretted telling him he could see her but what could he do if Harry had threatened to ask for custody.

 

He abruptly remembered how Harry said he was scared of coming out and how he was in love with him and a flash from that day in the woods popped into his head. 'I love you Lou' he remembered Harry saying as he kissed him and Louis had to make a quick stop surprised that he was already outside of his building's parking lot. Turning around he noticed Logan fast asleep and he just let it out, he cried remembering those three words and it hurt even more knowing that if Harry truly was in love with him then that hadn't been enough to stop him from hurting him the way he did. Why did he had to still be in love with him was something Louis would never understand, he knew Harry had been slightly drunk that night and that maybe he wasn't in control but he had done it again after he sobered up a bit and that hurt even more. Picking Logan up then locking his door he rushed to his flat where he set her down on her bed covering her with a blanket and went straight to start dinner and as he did so he wondered if Harry ate with friends or alone.

 

*~*

 

Harry got to his flat with a big smile on his face putting his camera and the flowers up then calling his mum to share with her what had happened.

 

"Mum it's Harry." Harry happily said once she answered. 

 

"Hi love, how are you?" Anne asked sensing the change in Harry's voice.

 

"Mum I met her! She's gorgeous and so tiny like Louis and oh god, I held her and she hugged me back then gave me flowers she picked." Harry gushed beaming with happiness.

 

"You met her? How did you find them, and he let you hold her just like that?" Anne asked completely surprised.

 

"I was taking a walk in the park and I sat down on a bench and I guess she tripped so I helped her up without knowing it was her and I was trying to find her parents and there he was mum." Harry explained.

 

"And he let you hold her and talk to her just like that?" Anne carefully asked.

 

"Not at first but...but I told him I have rights mum. I didn't wanted to say it but he kept refusing to let me see her and I basically told him I could ask for custody, I was desperate." Harry breathed out waiting for her to say something.

 

"...And what did he say?" Anne asked.

 

"He agreed to let me see her but only when he's around." Harry sighed not liking that part at all but understanding why Louis didn't trusted him with her or him at all.

 

"That's great! Tell me, what is she like? When are we gonna meet her? I've been dying to and so is Gemma." Anne spoke faster than ever before.

 

"She's beautiful mum and I think she's a perfect combination of Louis and I, she's the sweetest little girl and I already love her so much. You have no idea how much I love her mum, I wish I could have her and Louis here with me but I know that's impossible." Harry sighed trying not to cry.

 

"I'm sorry honey, maybe if you show him that you really are sorry then with time maybe he'll forgive you and actually want to start a family with you." Anne tried to make him feel better.

 

"I doubt it mum, you should see the way he looks at me like he wants to burn me alive. He hides it when Logan's around but when it was just him and I he just looked at me with such hateful look, he absolutely hates me mum and I-I'm absolutely fucked. He doesn't love me like I love him anymore." Harry finally let the tears fall down his cheeks.

 

"You don't know that love. Think about how much he's still hurting, I don't want to make you feel bad but what you did to him was horrible. Right now try to get to know your daughter, get her to know you better and learn to recognize you as her father." Anne adviced.

 

"I honestly don't know when I'll see her again mum, Louis gave me his number so I'll try to talk to him tomorrow about letting me see her again." Harry said walking towards the fridge to get something to eat.

 

"I hope he lets you see her soon so you can take a picture of her and send it to me." Anne said.

 

"I hope so too. Mum I gotta go but I'll talk to you later. Love you." Harry said.

 

"I love you too." Anne responded.

 

Harry hung up and noticing he had nothing go eat decided to just order pizza and as he waited he smiled remembering Logan, he just wanted to get to know everything there was to know about his baby girl. He wanted her to call her dad and tell him she loves him back just like he thought she does to Louis, he wanted to give her the moon and stars and play with her whatever game she wanted. He wanted to read her a bed time story and tuck her into bed. He just wanted to have both of them there with him cuddling and watching Logan's favorite movies. He wanted it and maybe trying to get it the right way this time would be hard but he would do anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this girl is older but she's the perfect Logan, don't you think?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/Mobile%20Uploads/PicsArt_1386531363779_zps127be41c.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
> Here's a direct link for the picture if you wanna see it better. :)
> 
> http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/Mobile%20Uploads/PicsArt_1386531363779_zps127be41c.jpg 
> 
> Thoughts? :)


	6. The sun is shining everyday, but it's far away

Louis was busy stirring the spaghetti sauce when he heard the doorbell and immediately went to answer it knowing who it was or rather who they were. They didn't even waited for Louis to tell them they could come in and headed for the kitchen looking around for Logan.

 

"Where's my cupcake?" Zayn asked looking under the table where she had a habit of sitting under and playing with her toys while Louis cooked dinner if he was back from work by dinner time.

 

"She's asleep." Louis said going back to stirring.

 

"Is she sick? It's almost six thirty and she's never asleep around this time." Eleanor said getting worried.

 

"She's completely healthy El, we went to the park earlier and it wore her out." Louis explained not knowing if he should tell them about Harry, he would have to at some point and he was afraid of what their reactions might be about his decision of letting Harry see her.

 

"The park again? Wait...did she made you chase after her around the playground 'cause she did that to me." Niall said remembering that day with a pained expression.

 

"Not really..." Louis shrugged stirring more than necessary.

 

"Lou, something's bothering you. What is it?" Zayn asked.

 

"I made enough spaghetti for all of us. Do you guys want to eat?" Louis asked trying to stray them away from wanting to know what was bothering him.

 

"Sure Lou, now tell us what's bothering you or I'll tickle it out of you." Niall said sitting down on a chair.

 

"You guys are not gonna like it because I don't. Not at all." Louis said turning the stove off sitting down next to Niall with Zayn and Eleanor sitting in front of them.

 

"Spit it out Tomlinson." Eleanor kicked his leg under the table making him yelp and jump a little.

 

"HarryknowsaboutLogan." Louis said as fast as he could barely understanding himself.

 

"Say what, could you repeat that? I didn't understood a single thing you said." Zayn said crossing his arms over his chest expecting Louis to talk.

 

"Somehow...well I know how, Harry found out about Logan and he wants to see her. He wants to be a part of her life and I...I agreed to let him see her." Louis said looking down at his lap fiddling with his fingers.

 

"...What?" Eleanor shouted.

 

"What the fuck Louis, why would you do that? That ass hole did awful things to you and you're gonna allow him near Logan, have you lost your mind?" Zayn yelled glaring at Louis.

 

"Can you please explain Lou?" Niall who was still calm asked Louis.

 

"Apparently the guy who took me to the hospital-Andy Samuels, he's friends with Liam Payne and he met Harry and somehow he ended up telling him about how he helped me out. Today when I took Logan to the park he was there taking pictures and she ran away from me when I told her not to and I lost her, when I found her again he was holding her helping her look for me only he didn't know it was me." Louis explained.

 

"And then?" Niall urged.

 

"I tried to get away from there but he said he knew she's his and I told him he was wrong and then...He said a court wouldn't think like that. He basically said he could get custody and I don't want that so I just agreed to let him see her under my own terms of course." Louis finished explaining.

 

"Fucking ass hole son of a bitch, I'm gonna kill him!" Zayn shouted getting up and heading for the door.

 

"Zayn stop! You don't even know where he lives." Niall tried to reason blocking his way, speaking for Louis who was too stunned to talk.

 

"So you're gonna let him see her." Eleanor asked.

 

"El I have to." Louis sighed.

 

"You're gonna let him into her life and then yours again, fuck Lou he's only going to hurt her and hurt you again." Zayn groaned rubbing both of his hands on his face.

 

"No, absolutely not into my life and he's only going to see her when I want to not when he does." Louis said ignoring Zayn's glares.

 

"I don't want him near my cupcake." Zayn insisted.

 

"And you think I do? Would you rather have him claim custody and then be forced to let him take her all by herself for the weekends because I don't." Louis argued.

 

"I guess not, when is he gonna see her again?" Zayn asked sitting back on the chair.

 

"I have no idea when, I gave him my number and he wanted to spend the day with just her tomorrow but I told him that if he wanted to see her then it had to be when I was around." Louis explained.

 

"You never told us what happened yesterday. How did it go?" Niall asked.

 

"He tried to apologize but I just told him to go to hell and...turns out that fucking ass hole is gay too." Louis exclaimed beginning to tear up.

 

"Turns out he's gay too, has been ever since school and he tortured me because he blamed it on me." Louis cried.

 

"What? How the fuck was that your fault?" Zayn growled.

 

"He said I made him feel things for me and made him question his sexuality." Louis said wiping away his tears.

 

"He was in love with you too." Eleanor blurted out.

 

"What, how would you know that?" Niall asked as she gulped when all eyes were on her.

 

"Lou...I know you told me not to do anything before you left when you told me he-he, I couldn't let him get away with it so I told him you were in love with him and that you hated him after what he had done to you and he just started crying again saying he had to talk to you. Lou he had been crying and I'm sorry I didn't listened to you, I just wanted him to suffer." Eleanor said crying not bothering to wipe away her tears.

 

"It's okay El, I already knew you told him because he told me." Louis said reaching for her hand.

 

"So you're not mad?" Eleanor whispered.

 

"Not at all." Louis smiled.

 

"Dad-Unca Zayn!" Logan screamed running to Zayn's open arms.

 

"Hi cupcake, how are you?" Zayn asked catching her in his arms kissing her face and discreetly checking her for injuries then looking at Louis expectantly when he found the scrape on her elbow knowing it wasn't there the day before and that Harry had been with them when it happened.

 

"Good. Hi unca Niall, hi auntie El." Logan waved resting her head on Zayn's cheek.

 

"Hi baby." El smiled.

 

"Monster what happened to your elbow?" Niall asked pointing at her elbow.

 

"Big kid pushed me down." She said.

 

"Why did he pushed you cupcake, did it hurt?" Zayn asked.

 

"Mhm and I don't know why." Logan said tearing up holding her elbow in her hand away from Zayn's hand.

 

"But you're okay now." Louis smiled trying to keep her from crying when she began pouting.

 

"My curly kiss it okay." Logan giggled.

 

"Curly? Who's curly?" Eleanor asked already knowing who but wanting to hear it from her.

 

"Daddy no name." She responded referring to the missing father figure Louis had told her about and she was always curious about.

 

"He told you he was daddy no name?" Niall asked her.

 

"Who?" Logan asked getting distracted with Zayn's pretty pictures on his skin.

 

"My curly." Niall urged her to answer.

 

"No, it's my curly not yours." Logan pouted furrowing her eyebrows together.

 

"Your curly, did your curly told you he was daddy no name?" Zayn asked.

 

"Mhm. Down...please." Logan quickly added after Louis gave her a look then ran to her stash of toys in the corner of the living room after Zayn set her down.

 

"You let him tell her he's her other dad?" Eleanor asked.

 

"That was before I agreed to him seeing her, I only agreed for him to hug her but he told her." Louis defended himself.

 

"How did she reacted?" Niall asked.

 

"She was scared at first but then she got used to him, I think she likes him since she even have him a few flowers she picked." Louis said getting some plates out.

 

"Fuck...she definitely likes him then." Zayn sighed.

 

"Yeah...but I need to do something before she gets way too attached to him." Louis mumbled putting food in the plates.

 

A few hours later Louis was getting ready to go to bed after he had given Logan a bath then put her to bed and he had gotten a shower himself, he groaned trying to think of ways to get Harry off his back and keep him away from his daughter. He grabbed his phone and searched for his name just staring at his number and name then bitterly laughed thinking how if he had gotten Harry's number back then he would've been squealing like a girl rolling around on his bed thinking of many sweet scenarios where Harry would declare his love for him then kiss him under the moonlight in a field full of flowers but what did he got instead, Harry saying I love you for the very fist time while he was hurting him and he couldn't do anything to stop him. He hadn't been strong enough to stop it and sometimes Louis blamed himself for what Harry had done to him. He was startled when his phone began vibrating and he started breathing hard thinking it was Harry but quickly relaxed once he saw it was just Eleanor.

 

"Hello?" Louis quickly answered.

 

"Loueh, sorry to call you at this time but I just wanted to know and make sure you're okay." Eleanor nervously spoke.

 

"Hi El, I'm doing fine don't worry." Louis smiled even if she couldn't see it.

 

"Has he-has he called you yet?"

 

"Umm no, not yet and I honestly don't want him to. Why can't he just be a selfish bastard like he used to and give a damn about my daughter, I don't want him to care." Louis ranted.

 

"I guess he changed Lou, but tell me what was he like with her." She asked.

 

"I don't even know El, he looks at her like she's a rare gem...like she's the only thing that matters to him. When that older kid pushed her down you should've seen him, he got there pretty fast, was protective over her and he just kept glaring at the kid's mum." Louis explained laying down on the bed.

 

"And how do you feel about that?"

 

"I...I'm confused. Part of me hates it, I hate how comfortable she's with him and how possessive she's getting over him. You know how she can get and it makes me feel jealous." Louis said pouting a bit.

 

"You mean that time when she became quite possessive over you when you were seeing that douche bag whose name I can't even remember but kept asking who Logan's other father was?" Eleanor shuddered at the memory.

 

"Yeah and now I feel like she's replacing me with him when he doesn't deserve her and I want him out of her life, and I feel like such a fuck up because I keep thinking that maybe it's good for her to have him around and he's really good with her. I still don't trust him at all to leave her alone with him because I'm scared he's gonna hurt her." Louis said.

 

"Well...all I can tell you is to really think this through, do what's best for Logan." Eleanor adviced him.

 

"You know I only do what's best for her." Louis sighed.

 

"I know Lou, but hey...at least you won't have to pay for yearly professional pictures of Logan if you let him stay in her life." Eleanor giggled.

 

"Really?" Louis asked wondering if she was sane at all.

 

"What? Think about it Lou, you have this obsession of taking pictures of Logan every year around her birthday not caring how much they cost. I bet Harry would do it for free and just think how gorgeous my baby would look plus he has to since she's his child and he has responsibilities with her, he just can't say no." Eleanor babbled imagining the high quality pictures of Logan taken by none other than the best photographer out there.

 

"Not happening El." Louis argued with her like they always did when she wanted him to let her do something with Logan that involved girly stuff.

 

"We'll see Tomlinson, we'll see." Eleanor argued back determined to get her way.

 

"Whatever. El, I gotta go. I'm really tired, love you." Louis said.

 

"Love you too, bye." She said then hung up.

 

The next day Louis was woken up by his phone vibrating loudly on the nightstand next to him (having a child had its perks) he groaned as he blindingly stretched his hand out to find it. He saw it was only eight thirty in the morning then sat up as fast as he could when he saw it was Harry who was calling him and cleared his throat before answering.

 

"Hello?" Louis groggily said wincing at how raspy his voice sounded.

 

"Morning Louis, did I woke you up?" Harry cheerfully asked.

 

"Kinda yeah." Louis mumbled closing his eyes again.

 

"Sorry...um, I was wondering if you and Logan wanted to go out and have breakfast with me?" Harry nervously asked.

 

"Oh, umm...Yeah sure why not." Louis said regretting it immediately.

 

"Okay cool, do you want me to pick you up? I know this restaurant where the food is amazing, I can just go and pick you guys up so we don't have to take two cars...parking is a bitch-I mean a mess." Harry quickly corrected himself.

 

"Okay...I'll text you my address and Harry please don't make me regret it." Louis said getting up to shower.

 

"I won't Louis, I'll see you there in a few." Harry said.

 

"Okay then, bye."

 

"Bye."

 

Louis quickly texted him his address hesitating just a bit before pressing send then quickly took a shower and got ready, just as he was about to wake Logan up he heard the doorbell and gulping he went to answer it. Harry was standing in front of him with a small shy smile wearing a dark beanie, his hair pulled back with a few curls escaping on the sides.

 

"Hey, you guys ready?" Harry asked.

 

"Logan's a heavy sleeper and I'm having trouble waking her up. Niall gave her too much sugar last night and she was literally bouncing off the walls, come in and take a seat while I wake her up." Louis stepped aside to let Harry through.

 

"I'll wait." Harry simply smiled looking around taking a seat watching Louis walk towards the bedrooms.

 

"Sweety wake up, we're gonna go out for breakfast." Louis rubbed Logan's belly and poked her cheeks.

 

"Nooo..." Logan mumbled turning around and away from Louis.

 

"Logan Hunter Tomlinson! C'mon, time to get up." Louis lifted her up then sighed and began dressing her up when she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. 

 

He quickly dressed her up into a long sleeved pink shirt and black pants putting her shoes on fixing her curls leaving them down then putting a beanie on. He then took her to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face with skill since it wasn't the first time he had done it. After he was done he walked back to the living room noticing how Harry's eyes immediately brightened when he saw her then looked at Louis and back at her unsure of what to do next. Logan slowly lifted her head up from Louis' shoulder and sleepily looked around whimpering when her eyes landed on Harry setting her head back on his shoulder.

 

"She doesn't like me much does she?" Harry sadly asked making Louis feel bad for him but quickly recovered.

 

"She likes everybody and she's like that in the mornings, she's grumpy because I woke her up an-hold on I forgot an extra pair of clothes. Here, hold her while I go get them." Louis said passing Logan over to Harry without giving him time to answer. 

 

Logan looked up at Harry then nuzzled her head in the crook of his neck snuggling closer to him as harry wrapped his other arm around her and rubbed her back as she fell back asleep comfortable in his arms, Louis came back with clothes putting them in a bag and reached his hands out for her.

 

"Can I carry her? You still have to lock your door and get her car seat from your car." Harry pleaded.

 

"Fine." Louis finally said after thinking it through then put coat on doing the same to Logan.

 

After getting Logan's car seat and buckling her up Louis finally got in the passengers seat and Harry made his way out of the complex driving in a complete awkward silence.

 

"So why don't you tell me a bit about her." Harry said breaking the silence that was starting to drive him crazy.

 

"Like what?" Louis asked.

 

"I don't know, like what's her favorite color, tv show, movie, is she allergic to something, is she going to school this upcoming year. I wanna know everything." Harry said smiling at Louis.

 

"She likes spaghetti, her favorite show is The Amazing World of Gumball and her favorite movies are Toy Story, all three of them. She's not allergic to anything and since it's still january and her birthday is in february she has to wait another year for school." Louis gushed finding out that he couldn't stop the words after they started rushing out.

 

"I love spaghetti too and Liam's gonna love her once he finds out her favorites movies are Toy Story. We're here." Harry said quickly finding a parking spot and shutting down the engine.

 

"Daddy, where you?" Logan asked from the backseat not recognizing the car.

 

"I'm right here love." Louis quickly said getting out of the car getting her out placing her on his hip.

 

"My curly!" She screamed making Louis wince with the noise and Harry smiled getting close to both Logan and Louis to give her a kiss noticing the way Louis tensed up at having him too close to him.

 

"Why are you here?" She asked tugging on his curls.

 

"We're having breakfast together." Harry answered leading them towards the entrance of the crowded restaurant.

 

Once they were seated in a booth with Logan in between them Louis ordered pancakes for both Logan and himself while Harry ordered the same then completely focused his attention on her completely ignoring Louis as he made Logan giggled uncontrollably. Once the food arrived Louis quickly cut up her pancakes then added syrup knowing that if Logan did it herself then she would empty out the bottle and soak her pancakes in its contents.

 

"Daddy I wants more syrup." Logan whined looking up at Louis pouting her bottom lip.

 

"That's enough syrup." Louis pointed at her pancakes.

 

"But I wants more." Logan whined pouting her bottom lip even more reaching for the bottle but Louis quickly got it away from her reach.

 

"Louis I don't think a little bit more syrup is going to kill her." Harry said lifting the bottle to put more.

 

"You don't get to decide that, she's my daughter and I said no more syrup." Louis snapped glaring at harry.

 

"Daddy I wants more!" Logan screeched then began crying and kicking the table with her legs.

 

"Well she's my daughter too and she wants more, you made her cry." Harry said in an accusatory tone.

 

"Well you're a shit parent, can't even tell she's throwing a tantrum to get what she wants." Louis glared then watched as Harry's eyes began shinning.

 

"Hey bug you should listen to daddy, that's enough syrup. You don't wanna get cavities now do you?" Harry said poking her stomach trying not to cry.

 

"What are cavi-cavi?" Logan tried to say.

 

"Cavities. They're small holes in your teeth." Harry explained making a silly face while Logan giggled again.

 

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, stay here and don't go anywhere Harry." Louis said quickly getting up from his seat to clean the syrup stain Logan had given him.

 

"Hey bug, smile for dad." Harry said taking a picture of her with his cellphone once Louis was gone.

 

"Do I look pretty my curly?" Logan asked craning her neck to try and look at it.

 

"Gorgeous." Harry smiled showing her the picture sending it to Gemma who had harassed him for one and his mum then kissed Logan's cheek. His phone vibrated and he answered it without seeing who it was.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Baby she's gorgeous. Is she eating pancakes?" Anne said through the phone.

 

"Oh my God Haz! I wanna meet her now, and no way she looks like you. She's actually gorgeous and you're, well you're you." Gemma yelled and Harry guessed he was on speaker.

 

"Hi mum, hi brainless. I took them out for breakfast, very funny Gems. I don't know when you'll be able to meet her since I can barely see her myself." Harry said turning his attention back to Logan who was eating her pancakes.

 

"I'll let you go then honey, spend as much time as you can with them and my God I already love her. Love you love." Anne said.

 

"Love you too mum." Harry said then heard a shuffling sound then Gemma was speaking to him.

 

"He'll come around H, it might take a while but he will and then he'll let you see her more often. Give Logan a big kiss for me please, I love you." 

 

"I love you too Gems." Harry smiled then hung up. 

 

Harry looked at Logan who was busy eating her pancakes and tried not to think too much about what Louis had said, he knew he was a shit parent but what could he do if he hadn't been around her for that long and quickly wiped away the few tears that had escaped when he saw Louis coming.

 

"You done love?" Louis asked her noticing Harry's almost full plate.

 

"No." She simply answered, both Harry and Louis stayed silent eating their food not even acknowledging each other.

 

"Harry, Harry Styles? It is you." A tall man with dark quiffed hair said looking at Harry with a big smile.

 

"Nick? Hey, how have you been?" Harry asked, his whole face instantly brightening like a kid's on a Christmas morning making Louis clench his jaw with jealousy.

 

"Good, I just moved here from Manchester a few days ago." Nick smiled.

 

"That's great!"

 

"I see you have company." Nick said as his eyes flickered to Louis and Logan and Louis couldn't help but notice his bitchy tone that Harry was completely oblivious to.

 

"Yeah, this is Louis and this cutie right here is our daughter Logan." Harry introduced them with a big smile.

 

"Nice to meet you, I'm Nick. Harry's friend from Uni. Harry I didn't know you had a daughter." Nick said and Louis decided he disliked this guy.

 

"I didn't either until yesterday." Harry said kissing the top of Logan's head lovingly.

 

"I see, well no doubt there she's yours since she's like a mini copy of you." Nick faked smiled.

 

"We wouldn't be here spending time together with our daughter if she wasn't his. Trust me, Harry's her biological father." Louis snapped smiling sweetly and couldn't miss the small smile Harry sent his way.

 

"Nick I'm sorry but we have to go." Harry said leaving money with the check picking Logan up.

 

"Oh okay then...I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch or a drink one of these days?" Nick nervously asked rubbing the back of his neck.

 

"Yeah sure, do you still have your old number?" Harry asked a little too excited.

 

"Yeah." Nick smiled in relief.

 

"Okay. Then I'll text you later, it was nice seeing you again Nick. Bye." Harry said hugging him quickly.

 

"Mine." Logan glared at Nick grabbing Harry's cheeks to bring his head closer to hers.

 

"Oh, we have a possessive one over here, Harry she's gorgeous." Nick winked at Logan.

 

"Harry we need to go." Louis interrupted wanting Nick away from Logan...and harry, but he wasn't going to admit that.

 

"Yeah, bye Nick." Harry smiled.

 

"Bye Harry, it was nice meeting you Louis." Nick smiled and then walked away.

 

Once they were outside of the restaurant Louis quickly walked towards the car and waited until Harry got there since he kept slowly walking entertained with Logan and Louis just wanted to get the hell out of there. In the car Logan kept screaming 'I spy' and then waited for Harry's turn to say it so she could scream it again after him and soon they were in front of Louis' flat. Louis got out and unbuckled Logan grabbing her along with her car seat while Logan watched Harry with wide eyes once she was in Louis' arms walking away from Harry after Louis had thanked him.

 

"Daddy I wants to play with my curly." Logan said trying to get down.

 

"It's want not wants baby and he has to go love." Louis said trying to keep her from getting down.

 

"Curly..." She whimpered and Louis groaned.

 

"Harry...would you like to come in." Louis asked putting Logan down.

 

"Yeah 'arry, come in." Logan waved him over wiggling her eyebrows.

 

"I would love to." Harry smiled shutting the engine down getting out of his car locking it and walked towards them and Logan immediately reached for his hand then Louis' hand.

 

***

 

"Do you want something to drink?" Louis asked as soon as they were inside his flat.

 

"No I'm okay but thanks for asking." Harry smiled that charming smile he always gave to everybody but him back in school.

 

"C'mon curly." Logan cheered pulling Harry to her room by his fingers.

 

"I'm coming." Harry laughed following her.

 

"Daddy I wants-I want you to play too." Logan yelled from her room.

 

As soon as Louis walked into Logan's room he began laughing uncontrollably when he saw Harry sitting on one of Logan's tiny chairs with his legs sticking out from the sides like a grasshopper and wearing a tiara where his beanie had once been. Harry laughed too when Logan made Louis sit on a chair in front of Harry and gave him his own tiara to wear then she began talking in a posh accent like Eleanor and Louis' sisters had taught her while she served the tea with Harry actually playing along. Louis observed how he was around her, how good he was always making her laugh and began to regret calling him a shit parent when he was none of that. The once selfish bastard Harry Styles was actually the sweetest person and parent to Logan but that didn't change a thing about what he had done to him and how Louis felt about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1386814967047_zps9c0d8777.jpg.html)   
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> Direct link to pic:
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> http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/PicsArt_1386814967047_zps9c0d8777.jpg
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> Thoughts? :)


	7. I want to rip it all to shreds and start again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost killed Lynxh while typing this. Sorry Lynxh! :)

Harry observed his daughter as she soundly slept after playing all morning with her then gave her one last kiss on the forehead and fixed her blanket making sure she was okay before walking out of her room closing the door after him going to the living room where Louis was sitting down on the sofa drinking tea. He looked around the living room and noticed a lot of pictures of his daughter then four bigger ones that caught his attention making his chest hurt knowing he had missed all three years of her life, they were arranged on the wall showing Logan from birth to three years old based on the date in the bottom right corner of each one which was her birth date. He was about to ask about them when Louis decided to speak killing the silence between them.

 

"You want tea?" Louis asked watching Harry carefully.

 

"No thanks. I like those four pictures." Harry said pointing at the pictures then looking at Louis.

 

"Oh, thanks I guess. I-"

 

"Louis open the door, I know he's in there!" Zayn yelled from outside.

 

"Stay here." Louis said putting his cup of tea on the table getting up to answer the door.

 

"I'm not gonna open it until you calm down, Logan's asleep and you're gonna scare her." Louis said through the door.

 

"El and I are here too Lou, open the door." Niall's calm voice came through the door.

 

As soon as he opened the door Zayn stumbled in pushing Louis out of the way and headed towards the living room where Harry was standing waiting for him. If he wanted to be in Logan's life then he was going to have to face all three of them especially Zayn who sounded livid. He was still standing on the same spot when Zayn came in with hands balled into fists and a red angry face.

 

"You! What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" Zayn growled trying to control his temper and beat Harry to death for Logan's sake.

 

"I just wanted to spend time with my daughter." Harry answered.

 

"Your daughter, your daughter! Oh please don't make me laugh, you are not her father and never will. You don't deserve someone as innocent and pure as her." Zayn glared.

 

"I know what I did was horrible but-"

 

"Horrible? It was fucking disgusting and you have no right to come back into Louis' life after what you did to him." Zayn spat interrupting Harry taking a step closer to him.

 

"Zee, you need to calm down." Niall said from his spot next to Louis who was looking down at the ground.

 

"No! This ass hole son of a bitch thinks he can just show up and claim a daughter that isn't his." Zayn argued unable to tear his gaze away from Harry.

 

"I know I don't deserve her but she's my daughter too, I can't just forget about her." Harry pleaded looking at Niall's calm expression, Eleanor's neutral one and Louis who still had his head down.

 

"If she's your daughter then where the hell were you when he was pregnant with her and needed help, where were you when he almost gave birth to her out in the cold streets. You weren't there to help him through all those sleepless nights, we were! And you definitely weren't there when he struggled with not having enough money to pay for diapers or formula, he couldn't even get nice things for himself because all the money he made went straight to her so she wouldn't starve, have nice clothes and stay warm. You were only there to ruin his life and now you want to do it again. I swear if you hurt my cupcake or him I will kill you." Zayn threatened.

 

Harry was having trouble breathing as Zayn's words kept hitting him hard like a ton of bricks, "I would've been there for him if I had known he was pregnant." He said.

 

****

 

Louis remembered all those sleepless nights where he would have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed or change Logan's diaper. He remembered a particular night at three in the morning where he had to be up and ready for school then work in four hours but he had to feed a two month old Logan who wouldn't stop crying until she had food in her mouth, he was dozing off with her still in his arms when Zayn walked in wearing a tiny smile.

 

"Go to sleep LouLou. I'll feed her and don't worry about her tomorrow, I'm gonna be here all day and I'll take care of her. I'm gonna take her with me and Niall so you can sleep." Zayn smiled taking her from Louis' arms and watched as he immediately got under the covers and fell asleep.

 

"Thank you Zayn." Louis mumbled before sleep completely overtook him.

 

Zayn watched him smiling fondly then took her, rolling her bassinet back to his room grabbing a few diapers and baby wipes on the way there dumping them in the bassinet, they had gotten a bassinet with wheels for nights like those.

 

"C'mon cupcake, you're sleeping with uncle Niall and I so daddy can sleep." Zayn smiled then reached down to kiss her forehead earning a tiny squeak from her.

 

****

 

"Stop." Louis nearly yelled as he glared at both Zayn and Harry with teary eyes.

 

"Louis..." Eleanor started.

 

"El please go check on Logan." Louis mumbled and Eleanor nodded walking towards her room.

 

"You both need to shut the fuck up, there's a three year old asleep in the other room." Louis glared.

 

"I'm sorry Lou." Zayn apologized.

 

"It's alright Zee. Now both of you just sit down and have some tea." Louis said taking his old spot.

 

"She's still asleep." Eleanor announced coming back from her room.

 

"Good." Niall sighed.

 

"I should go." Harry awkwardly said.

 

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna beat the shit out of you...yet." Zayn glared.

 

"So Harry...long time no see, how have you been?" Eleanor asked trying to lighten up the mood.

 

"I've been okay..." Harry mumbled feeling uncomfortable under Zayn's death glares.

 

"Best known photographer out there, didn't see that one coming." Niall scooted closer to Louis who was nervously drinking his now cold tea.

 

"Yeah it's just something I've always wanted to do." Harry fiddled with his hands.

 

"Well Louis here used to want to paint and have his own gallery but he hasn't picked up a brush since the last day of school." Zayn commented trying to get a reaction out of Harry.

 

Harry suddenly realized what Zayn meant and he felt bile rise up his throat when he remembered how after school he had been coming back from the football field after drinking with the team and had spotted Louis coming out of the art room with his clothes splattered with paint of different colors as he looked around probably looking for him and he noticed how he had relaxed when he saw no one was around and had started walking home. He remembered being completely fascinated and hypnotized by the way Louis' hips swayed from side to side, without thinking he had started walking towards him and not knowing how to be gentle with him and how to approach him he did it the only way he knew how to and had slammed him against the lockers. 

 

He remembered how he had chased him all the way to the woods while yelling insult after insult at him, throwing him down on the ground, taking his clothes off and stealing something he thought belonged to him back then and now he knew it never did. He wanted to cry when he remembered doing it again in Louis' old bedroom and how that time he had finally broken him to no repair, he blinked away the tears feeling his phone vibrating and took it out reading a text from Nick asking him if he wanted to get a drink with him which he quickly replied with a sure.

 

"I gotta go." Harry mumbled getting up from his spot on the sofa next to a chocolate stain that he was sure Logan had left there.

 

"But we just got here." Eleanor pouted then smiled innocently at Louis who glared at her.

 

"I gotta go meet an old friend. Louis could I go see her one more time, please?" Harry shyly asked putting his beanie on and smiled when Louis nodded.

 

"Are you meeting Liam? Niall and I used to talk to him back in school." Zayn said showing no emotion.

 

"Oh no, I'm not meeting with Liam...It's a friend from Manchester. Nick Grimshaw." Harry said smiling bigger when he said his name and Louis couldn't help but feel anger and jealousy cursing through his veins but quickly snapped out of it feeling confused.

 

Harry slowly walked towards Logan's room and knelt down by her bed looking at her with a smile on his face, he leaned in and gave her a kiss then got up leaving her room with one last lovingly look at her.

 

"Thanks. I'm gonna go now and thank you again for letting me see her." Harry said.

 

"Yeah no problem." Louis fiddled with the cup then heard her little feet on the wood floor.

 

"Curly?" Logan mumbled coming into the room with her teddy bear in her arms, eyes swollen with sleep and hair a crazy mess looking up at Harry with wide eyes then suspiciously eyeing his hand on the door knob.

 

"Hey bug, I have to go but I'll come see you again okay. Dad loves you." Harry smiled kneeling down in front of her wrapping his arms around her.

 

"Hey love, wanna go play with your uncles?" Louis asked sensing what was coming when she pouted her lip and frowned at Harry.

 

"Nooo.." Logan cried throwing her bear at Harry then clung to him wrapping her arms around his neck in a tight lock as Harry looked back at Louis with wide eyes.

 

"Bug it's okay, they want to play with you." Harry told her as his voice cracked a little as it hurt him to see her crying like that.

 

"No, I want to play with you." Logan wailed wiping the tears and snot on Harry's shoulder leaving a stain behind.

 

"Baby he has to go." Louis got up from the sofa and walked over to her and tried to pick her up but she only held on to Harry's neck tighter. 

 

It broke Harry's heart as he tried to unwrap her arms off of his neck, he got up with her in his arms and she stopped crying as soon as he did so but then cried louder when Louis tried taking her and Harry was willingly giving her to him. Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor watched with wide eyes at the scene unfolding in front of them and they knew she was already too attached to Harry as he was to her since he looked like he wanted to cry himself too. As soon as Louis had her in his arms he mouthed a 'go' to Harry and once Harry took a step back Logan threw herself forward and latched on to Harry's shirt with one hand and grabbed Louis by the shirt with her other tiny hand to keep both of them from walking away from her.

 

"Don't leave me curly. Daddy he's leaving you." Logan sobbed as big fat tears rolled down her cheeks breaking Harry's heart.

 

"If you allow it I can stay and text Nick to meet me later." Harry suggested looking at Louis desperately.

 

"You don't mind?" Louis asked.

 

"Not at all." Harry said taking Logan in his arms as soon as Louis nodded.

 

Logan's sobs reduced to whimpers as soon as she was in Harry's arms then wrapped her arms and legs around Harry hiding her face in the crook of his neck, Harry walked back into the living room and sat down with Logan on his lap getting his phone out and texting Nick if he could meet him later to which Nick replied with a no problem and to text him when he was free while Logan looked at the screen. He put his phone away then wrapped his arms around her kissing the top of her head then began fixing her messy curls with skillful hands since he had become an expert when trying to fix his own hair and managed to put it back in its place without pulling too much or making her cry, he looked up and immediately looked down when he saw four pairs of eyes watching him.

 

"How did you do that?" Eleanor asked.

 

"Do what?" Harry asked as Logan stared at him with heart eyes.

 

"Fix her hair without making her scream too much, when any of us expect El does it she always screams." Zayn asked.

 

"Oh, I guess that when you have curly hair you learn how to keep it in place without pulling it too much." Harry tapped Logan's nose as she giggled tapping his nose back with her free hand, the other hand still holding onto his shirt.

 

"Love c'mon, let's go wash your face." Louis reached for her but she only grabbed fistfulls of Harry's shirt.

 

"No daddy, he'll leave us." Logan whimpered pouting at Louis.

 

"Logan he won't, he'll be sitting there when you comeback." Louis frowned.

 

"No!" Logan yelled furrowing her eyebrows.

 

"Hey bug don't yell at daddy." Harry looked at Logan with a serious expression then looked up at Louis. 

 

"Maybe I could take her?" He asked playing with Logan's curls as she pulled his.

 

"S-sure, yeah. Bathroom's next to her room." Louis stuttered sitting back down in between Zayn and Niall.

 

"I can't do this anymore, he needs to get out of her life." Louis frowned as soon as Harry was out of the room. 

 

"Umm, Louis please don't get mad but it's a little too late for that." Eleanor reached to pull the hair out of Louis' forehead.

 

"I know, that's why he needs to leave." Louis crossed his arms over his chest.

 

"I really don't like Harry and I want him out of her life too but just remember how she got when he was going to leave, now think how heart broken she's going to be if he just disappears and never comes back. She's so in love with him." Zayn said wrapping his arm around Louis.

 

"I just-" Louis stopped when he heard Logan's sharp scream come from the bathroom and he was about to get up when soon after she broke into a laughing fit followed by Harry's own laugh.

 

"Just listen to how much he makes her laugh." Niall said.

 

"I know but I'm scared that one of these days he'll snap and hurt her like he used to do with me." Louis shuddered at the memories.

 

"You don't know that Lou, he looks like he changed and I don't think he'll hurt his own flesh and blood. You both need to have a long talk about how you're going to do this, it's obvious that you both need it." Niall adviced.

 

"I guess so." Louis mumbled.

 

"Curly up!" Logan demanded extending her hands up for Harry to pick her up as they were coming back from the bathroom.

 

"C'mon bug you're a big girl, I know you can walk." Harry smiled standing in front of her.

 

"No...I'm just a little girl, I can't walk curly." Logan sighed hugging Harry's legs then slid down to the floor to make her point.

 

"Alright, alright." Harry picked her up and walked back to the living room sitting on his old spot.

 

"Well, Zayn and I are gonna go, I'll see you later monster I love you. Harry. Lou, El, we'll see you later." Niall smiled and Logan got up to hug his legs then he bent down to kiss her cheek which she returned eagerly.

 

"I love you lots cupcake." Zayn said kissing her forehead and Harry smiled when she kissed his forehead too.

 

"I love you lots too unca Zayn, love you unca Niall." Logan smiled.

 

Zayn and Niall left shortly after but not before Niall gave Louis a knowing look telling him he had to talk to him. Eleanor sensing why Niall had left decided to leave a few minutes later leaving them alone in an awkward silence, Louis slowly grabbed the remote and turned on the tv noticing it was already three in the afternoon meaning the marathon of Logan's favorite show had just started. She made herself comfortable on Harry's lap grabbing Mr. Curls that Eleanor had picked up for her after she threw it at Harry and sat it down on her lap just like she was on Harry's hugging it close to his chest.

 

"Daddy I'm hungry." Logan announced taking her eyes off of the tv to look at Louis.

 

"We have spaghetti, do you want that?" Louis asked avoiding looking at Harry who no doubt was staring at him.

 

"No, I want a banana, apple and strawberry."

 

"Hunter that's not food that's fruit, you need food first." Louis sighed.

 

"But my tummy is hungry for fruit, daddy please." Logan pleaded.

 

"I'll be right back." Louis mumbled getting up from his seat.

 

He found frozen bananas that had already being sliced the day before then carefully cut up the apple and strawberries into cubes easy for Logan to eat, he sighed when he remembered he hadn't offered anything to Harry and he was probably hungry since he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast so he just warmed up enough spaghetti for two people.

 

"Love your fruit's on the table and Harry I warmed up some spaghetti for you, figured you must be hungry." Louis said walking back into the room seeing them busy each coloring a page from a brand new coloring book she made Harry write his name on then saw the one that had Louis' name next to her on the table.

 

"Huh? Oh, thank you. C'mon bug lets eat." Harry picked her up then set her down and started walking towards the kitchen holding hands with her.

 

Once they were in the kitchen Harry found Louis had set the table for the three of them then awkwardly sat down, Logan eyed her plate then empty chair and slowly moved her plate over by Harry's and began trying to climb on his lap with difficulty. Louis watched them interact and the way Logan had made it clear that she wanted to sit on his lap and Harry who was already gone for her gently picked her up kissing the top of her head and began eating while Louis slowly chewed his food. He realized how in sync they did every thing together and if Logan moved to make herself more comfortable Harry would too move to meet her needs, they were already so attached and the already formed bond they had built was something he couldn't and would never break. He was still watching them when Logan who had decided to not use her fork suddenly wiped her hand on Harry's shirt, Louis gasped knowing what was coming since he had experienced it before quickly got up to snatch her away from Harry but he only smiled fondly then it disappeared when he saw the state Louis was in. They looked at each other for a few seconds then Louis slowly sat back down acting as if nothing had happened.

 

"I would never hit her Louis." Harry mumbled refusing to look at Louis ashamed of his past actions.

 

"You did it to me once and that was your fault for pushing me down then picking me up again." Louis mumbled remembering the time Harry had pushed him down making him land on mud then picked him up again making Louis accidentally stain his shirt, he had payed a high price for that mistake.

 

"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled.

 

"Too late." Louis snapped putting an end to that conversation.

 

"This fucking bananas make me cold, I'm freezing." Logan muttered frowning and pushing them away as Harry and Louis looked at her with wide eyes.

 

"Logan Hunter Tomlinson, what kind of language is that?" Louis scolded her embarrassed that she had used that word.

 

"This fucking shit makes me cold daddy." Logan shrugged it off.

 

"You do not use those words young lady, where did you hear them from?" Louis asked and watched as she backed away into Harry.

 

"Unca Niall said them to unca Zayn and auntie El was mean and hit him." Logan explained trying to hide her face on Harry's chest.

 

"Niall..." Louis groaned rubbing his hands on his face.

 

"Daddy I'm a good girl." Logan whimpered.

 

"Yes you are love but good girls like you shouldn't say those words, daddy doesn't like that. Promise me you won't say them again." Louis slowly and carefully explained to her.

 

"I promise daddy." Logan promised going back to eating her fruit as Louis thought of a thousand ways to kill Niall.

 

Harry ended up staying all day long until it was Logan's bath and bed time and as soon as she was out exhausted after playing all day and climbing all over Harry and Louis Harry was getting ready to leave but Louis had other plans. He needed to talk to Harry about Logan and how they were going to do things if Harry wanted to keep seeing her so taking a deep breath he walked towards the living room where Harry was.

 

"Harry we need to talk." Louis said sitting down on the couch followed by Harry who sat across from him. 

 

"About what?" Harry nervously asked.

 

"About Logan, a schedule of your visits. I think weekends are the only days I have free so you can see her, and you can only see her when I'm around. No one else but me." Louis explained beginning to feel afraid of Harry's expressionless face.

 

"Why can't I see her every day, what's wrong with seeing her everyday of the week?" He desperately asked.

 

"I have to work and I'm pretty sure you do too." Louis sighed getting annoyed at Harry.

 

"I don't work every day Louis and she could go over to my flat and stay with me while you're working." Harry pleaded.

 

"What part of I don't want her alone with you don't you understand. I don't trust you alone with her Harry." Louis argued trying not to yell.

 

"And what part of I would never hurt her don't you understand either. She's our daughter and I love her, I would never hurt her or put her in any kind of danger." Harry argued back as Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"I don't believe you at all, not after the way you treated me and what you did to me." Louis said trying not to cry, there was no way he was going to let Harry see him cry again.

 

"I'm sorry, I really am sorry for what I did to you. Not a day goes by where I don't think about it and I wIsh I could go back and change it all, treat you differently and come clean about how I feel about you but I can't and I'm sorry, I wish I could take it all away but I can't." Harry knelt down in front of Louis with tears in his eyes as Louis moved away from his reach.

 

"Apology not accepted, I will never forgive you. You beat me, you made fun of me, you made me feel like shit and worthless. I believed every single word you said to me but because I was so stupid I thought it was okay for you to do that to me. I stopped Zayn from beating the shit out of you so many times because I loved you and then you did that to me. You ruined my life and I hate you, I hate what you did to me." Louis cried finally letting the tears fall as Harry did the same.

 

"Louis..." Harry cried touching his leg.

 

"Don't touch me! Don't fucking touch me ever again you sick bastard, because of you I can't move on and find someone else. Don't touch me!" Louis screamed hitting Harry everywhere he could just like he did the second time Harry had attacked him. 

 

He cried and hit him harder when Harry just sat there taking every single blow then fear began to take over when Harry grabbed him by the arms pinning him down on the couch as he hovered over straddling his hips touching his forehead with his. 

 

"Stop Louis, I'm sorry. Please..." Harry cried.

 

"Please not again, please get off." Louis pleaded thinking Harry was going to hurt him again but Harry didn't moved at all.

 

"Please just give another chance. I love you, you have no idea how much I love you. We could-we could start all over and form a family with Logan, I'll make it up to you but please Louis." Harry begged as his tears fell landing on Louis' cheeks.

 

"Get off," Louis growled pushing Harry off of him. "Do you really think I'll do that? Form a family with you and act as if nothing happened, act like you never tortured me for two years every day then raped me twice." Louis snapped getting away from Harry.

 

"Louis please." Harry begged.

 

"And what else Harry? Wait, let me guess...we could get married and then fuck. You could fuck the ugly nerd and I'll feel so damn lucky then we can have a few more kids. Don't be a fool Harry, just get out of my life find someone else, get married and have kids with that someone else because I will never forgive you and we can never be together, not after what you did to me." Louis said then began laughing as Harry watched him.

 

"Okay...I'm gonna go, just please let me know when I can see my daughter again. Here's my address if you need something." Harry mumbled putting a card on Louis' coffee table then grabbed his coat and walked out of Louis' flat into the cold night air.

 

As soon as he was out of the flat he burst out crying as he walked towards his car taking out his phone texting Nick asking him if he could meet him at the bar close to his flat. Louis was left speechless after Harry left after just accepting the fact that they could never be together and just move on, he felt a pang on his chest at the thought of Harry marrying someone else and having kids with that person which would probably end up with Harry forgetting about Logan and that made him angry. 

 

He groaned feeling desperate and confused, he had just yelled at Harry and even laughed at him whenever he had talked about being a family and at the moment he had done what felt right but deep inside he wanted just that; however, what Harry had done to him was stronger than the need to be with him. Shaking his head he locked the front door, turned off the lights and went to bed not even bothering to wash his face or brush his teeth.

 

*~*

 

"Hey Nick." Harry mumbled walking up to where Nick was waiting for him at the bar.

 

"Hey Harr-whoa what happened? Are you okay?" Nick asked in a concerned tone taking in Harry's red rimmed eyes from crying and his disheveled hair.

 

"Doesn't matter..." Harry muttered taking a seat next to him ordering a drink.

 

"Was it your boyfriend Louis?" Nick asked.

 

"He's not my boyfriend." Harry said taking a drink.

 

"Oh...I thought you guys were dating since you have a kid with him." Nick smiled getting closer to Harry.

 

"We do but no, we're not dating. He hates me." Harry frowned feeling even worse when he said those three words out loud.

 

"It honestly didn't looked like that when I met him." Nick pressed.

 

Harry scoffed, "Of course it didn't, he really knows how to hide it."

 

"Look I don't know what happened but he'll get over it." Nick smiled.

 

They continued drinking, talking and laughing, Harry actually found himself enjoying his company and thought about what Louis had told him earlier about finding someone else. That someone else could be Nick. He moved closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist rubbing small circles on it with his thumb.

 

"Wanna go back to my flat?" Harry asked and smiled when Nick nodded.

 

They left the bar and walked a few blocks to Harry's flat stumbling and laughing the whole way there leaving their cars there to be picked up in the morning, as soon as they were inside Harry pushed Nick against the front door and began kissing him and grinding against him as Nick pulled on Harry's hair desperate for more friction. They moved over to Harry's room breaking the kiss to see where they were going and as soon as they were there Nick immediately removed their coats then their shirts pushing Harry down on the bed straddling his hips. Harry grabbed Nick by the hips and flip him around getting in between his legs grinding hard and kissing him with all his might. He opened his eyes to look down expecting to see Nick but instead he saw him, he saw seventeen year old Louis underneath him sobbing and begging him to stop just like he had all those years ago. Harry quickly scrambled off of Nick with wide eyes looking at Louis frantically, he closed his eyes and when he opened them again Nick was once again standing in front of him.

 

"No, no, no, no, no." Harry chanted closing and opening his eyes over and over again.

 

"Harry what's wrong, are you okay?" Nick asked kneeling down next to him rubbing his back.

 

"I-I'm sorry...I-I can't, I can't." Harry cried breathing hard letting the tears fall down remembering Louis and every thing he ever did to him.

 

"It's okay, we don't have to do anything that you don't want to." Nick quickly said concerned over Harry's state.

 

"I-I think you should go. I'm sorry Nick, I'll call you later." Harry mumbled.

 

"Alright. Are you sure you're okay?"

 

"I am." Harry nodded.

 

"I'll see you later." Nick grabbed his clothes and left the flat.

 

As soon as Nick was gone Harry burst into tears and climbed up on his bed getting under the covers bringing his knees up to his chest wrapping his arms around them, he cried until he fell asleep curled up into a ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_miosb0q6De1rehf61o1_500-1_zps794f394c.gif.html)   
> 
> 
>    
> Direct link. :)  
> http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_miosb0q6De1rehf61o1_500-1_zps794f394c.gif.html
> 
> Thoughts? :)
> 
> Oh and I had a hard time writing Gryles, I'm still shuddering. Lol


	8. No one's going to take your place

Louis hurried around his room searching for his shoes then sighed walking out of it heading to Logan's room to wake her up for breakfast, he had overslept again that morning and he was already running late for the interview he had with Teen Vogue that was part of friday's photoshoot with Harry and now he had another one with another photographer. He started softly shaking and talking to Logan who he always had trouble waking up on sundays and mondays when he noticed his shoes by her bed filled with legos and pink glitter, he groaned and bent down to get everything out before putting them on then went back to wake his daughter up.

 

As soon as she was ready and sitting at the table eating cereal Louis hurried around his room searching for his stuff and waiting for Anna to get there who he noticed was running late and wanting to know why he picked his phone noticing he had ten missed calls and a voice mail from her from last night when he had had his phone on silent and hadn't even bothered to check it since he was still upset with Harry.

 

"Hi Louis, I've been calling you for a while now but you won't answer for some reason-are you and Logan okay? I was calling to let you know that I won't be able to babysit Logan for the whole week because mum was involved in a car accident and I had to go back home. I'm really sorry I'm telling you this on such short notice and hopefully you'll find someone to babysit her. Tell my munchkin I love her and I already miss her. I'm sorry Louis. Bye." Anna's message played and Louis completely understood but couldn't help and curse.

 

"Now what?" He mumbled racking his brain for an option.

 

He groaned when he remembered all three of his friends were working late all week and even though he was until four every day doing different things he just couldn't take Logan with him or leave her alone in the flat and he didn't know why the hell he was even thinking about leaving her alone. He walked back to the kitchen finding an empty bowl and chair and wandered into the living room where he saw Logan passed out on the couch hugging Mr. Curls and his beanie he had lost the week before close to her chest. The H on the teddy bear's chest reminded him of Harry wondering if he was working going back to last night's conversation where he had told him he didn't worked all week and even though he didn't trusted Harry alone with Logan he was the last option Louis had. He took out his phone and searched his contacts for Harry until he found him praying for him to not be angry at him and pick up his phone, for him to still want to talk to him after last night and actually be free all week long.

 

"Pick up, pick up, pick up." Louis chanted then groaned when it went straight to voicemail.

 

He tried three more times all going straight to voicemail until he had enough and packed a bag of things he knew Logan would need, grabbed Harry's card from the coffee table that lucky for him had his address then bundled Logan up into warm sweat pants, her hoodie, shoes, jacket and a beanie leaving the flat wearing the beanie he had found Logan with and quickly getting in his car driving to Harry's flat finding out he didn't lived too far away from his own flat. Once he was outside the building he grabbed Logan and the bag locking the door and headed to his floor searching for the right one until he was standing outside his front door.

 

He rung the doorbell and waited for him to open the door and after he didn't he rung it again then knocked on the door desperate for him to just appear in front of him still in pajamas indicating that he had nothing to do all day. He finally had given up and slowly started walking away from the door with Logan still asleep in his arms when the door swung open and a sleepy, annoyed and shirtless Harry stood in front of him rubbing the sleep out of his slightly red and swollen eyes. Louis gulped when he noticed them and couldn't help but let his eyes roam Harry's naked torso taking in all the tattoos he had gotten over the years, last night jeans resting low on his hips and his wild messy curls just like Logan's.

 

"Louis? What are you doing here, is Logan sick?" Harry frantically asked going from annoyed to worried in a fraction of a second as he tried to reach for her but stopping when he remembered what had happened the night before then let his hand drop back to his side not wanting to scare him again.

 

"No, she's fine. I was just wondering if you were doing anything today?" Louis asked hoping for a no.

 

"Umm, why don't you two come in. Is she still asleep?" Harry asked taking Logan's bag and moving over so Louis could enter his house.

 

"Yeah she's still asleep." Louis looked around Harry's flat, his eyes on a picture of Harry and his family who he has not seen or talked to in almost four years but still remembered that picture from Anne's living room.

 

"I'm not actually, I just need to organize some papers today and I do it here so no I'm not doing anything at all. Why?" Harry motioned for Louis to take a seat taking one himself.

 

"Well...I work all week until four and last night Anna, Logan's babysitter called and left a voicemail saying she's not gonna be able to babysit her all week and I was wondering if-if maybe you could watch her until I get back? It doesn't have to be all week if you can't but can you? Today?" Louis nervously asked pleading with his eyes.

 

"Yeah of course, but...I-I thought you didn't trusted me alone with her." Harry said looking down at his lap.

 

"I still don't but I need someone to watch her and I don't wanna leave her alone with a stranger and you're her dad so I figured this could be your chance to show me you can be trusted with her." Louis explained.

 

"Okay...if you want to you can bring her here with me all week so you don't have to leave her with a stranger." Harry smiled rubbing his eye.

 

"Thank you. So...a few things you need to know, don't let her have any soda. She'll tell you that she's allowed to but she's not, if you have Apple juice stick with that and don't let her drink it by herself on the couch because she'll most likely spill it and the stains are hard to get out. She can go to the bathroom by herself but don't let her lock the door because she can't open it yet and will scream and cry until you get her out and don't let her wash her hands without supervision because she'll waste all your soap and throw water at the mirror. She watches The Amazing World of Gumball at three and she knows the channel. What else...Oh, I brought toys for her to play with and a coloring book with her crayons, please don't leave her alone or she'll color all over your walls and I also packed her a change of clothes in case she gets dirty and a few snacks." Louis finished getting up at the same time Harry did and awkwardly gave her to him and watched as he cuddled her against his bare chest.

 

"Don't worry Louis, she'll be safe here with me and I'll text you with updates." Harry smiled up at him and Louis felt weak at the knees just by seeing those dimples.

 

"Yeah you do that. I'm gonna go and call me if anything happens. Bye love, I love you babycakes." Louis said kissing her forehead ignoring Harry's face too close to his own.

 

Harry got up with Logan in his arms following Louis to the door where he told him he better not let anything happen to her then left giving him a warning look. Harry closed the door after he had disappeared from his sight and yawned taking Logan back to his room with him and gently took her winter coats, her beanie and her shoes then lay her down on his old warm spot as he took the other side next to her and fell asleep with an arm wrapped around her bringing her close to his chest. When Harry woke up to the sound of his phone going off meaning someone was calling him and a small weight on top of his chest drooling on his collarbones he noticed it was already noon exactly two hours after Louis had dropped their daughter off and quickly answered when he saw it was Louis who was calling him.

 

"Hello?" Harry groggily answered noticing Logan sprawled like a star fish asleep on top of his chest and he wondered why she was like that.

 

"He-were you asleep? Where's Logan?" Louis asked trying not to panic.

 

"We were asleep, she still is and...I woke up with her sleeping on top of me. Is that-is that what she usually does or should I be worried?" Harry carefully asked moving one of Logan's curls out of his mouth.

 

"Oh, she probably woke up while you were asleep and helped herself. She likes to sleep like that when she's cold or just wants a cuddle, it's nothing to worry about. I'm taking a break and I was just calling to check on her but since she's still asleep just text me later okay." Louis said taking a drink from his water bottle.

 

"Yeah I'll text you and i have to go 'cause I really have to pee and her knee's pressing on my stomach. Bye." Harry said then hung up after Louis had said his goodbyes.

 

He carefully lifted her up with no difficulty at all and placed her back on his spot then made a quick run to the bathroom locking the door just in case she woke up and decided to walk in. When he came back to his room after washing his face and hands and brushing his teeth he found her in the middle of his bed clutching her teddy bear, crying and looking around taking in her new surroundings with wide eyes and rubbing her left eye as big fat tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

"Daddy..." Logan cried looking around for Louis then cried louder when she saw Harry.

 

"Curly, I want daddy..." She cried extending her arms reaching for him wanting to be picked up.

 

"It's okay bug, daddy's working and he'll be back later." Harry soothed her making his way over to her picking her up in his arms wiping away the tears.

 

"Where's daddy?" Logan hicupped wiping her nose with her sleeve.

 

"Daddy had to work today and he asked me if I could spend the day with you." Harry explained grabbing a tissue wiping the snot out of her nose.

 

"Why?" Logan asked furrowing her eyebrows and tilting her head sideways.

 

"Because your babysitter couldn't stay with you, you'll be coming here all week...I think, and we're gonna play all you want." Harry walked over to his dresser with her still in his arms to look for a shirt.

 

"I like your pretty pictures." She randomly said rubbing her fingers over the swallows then the tattoos on his left.

 

"Thank you." Harry smiled kissing her forehead, something he liked to do.

 

As soon as he had a random white t-shirt on he set Logan down on his bed then quickly caught her when she tried to get away but as soon as he grabbed one of her shoes she quickly made a run for it getting out of his reach and began jumping on the bed. Whenever Harry was about to grab her she would run to the other side madly giggling while Harry laughed trying to catch her. "Gotcha!" Harry laughed grabbing her by the waist lifting her up in the air at arms length making her scream in delight then lowered her back down attacking her little face with kisses until she was screaming and laughing begging him to stop. With one last kiss he sat her on his lap and put her shoes back on then grabbed her hand and walked with her towards the living room wondering what could he make for lunch wondering if Logan was hungry.

 

Once they stepped in the living room Logan let go of his hand and ran to the front where he had the tv and a few way too many children movies, he loved Disney and Pixar movies and he wasn't afraid to admit it. She plopped down in front of the tv stand and began taking the movies out looking at the front then either leaving them out or putting them back in their old place sticking her tongue out and brows furrowing in concentration which Harry thought was the cutest thing he had ever seen. He sat down on the recliner closest to her and watched with adoration until she squealed and quickly got up running up to Harry colliding with her knees showing him the Toy Story three movie set he had gotten earlier that year.

 

"Can we watch it curly....please." Logan asked bouncing up and down pleading with her bright green/blue eyes pouting her bottom lip giving Harry a taste of his own medicine.

 

"Of course bug, why don't you sit down on the couch while I put it on." Harry said taking the box from her hand getting up walking to the DVD player.

 

While he was waiting he watched Logan pull out her Jessy doll and a pink blanket then bent down going through the DVD's she had left out on the floor which were quite a few, he picked them up and set them down on the coffee table in three piles then grabbed the remotes taking a seat next to her where she immediately moved over to his lap.

 

"Curly we watch all those okay." Logan mumbled turning her head around to look at Harry pointing to the pile Harry had made.

 

"Sure." Harry smiled then pressed play. "Bug, are you hungry?"

 

"Yes, I want macaloni and cheese please and thank you. Daddy says I a'ways have to say please and thank you. Do you say them curly? If you don't I'm gonna tell daddy." Logan mumbled not looking away from the tv as Harry chuckled at her cuteness.

 

"I always say them baby." Harry smiled getting up from his spot.

 

He walked into the kitchen getting out all of the ingredients he would need, while he waited he decided to check his phone noticing the four missed calls from Louis before he showed up and he felt guilty for not answering but glad that Louis had decided to just show up because if he hadn't then he wouldn't be spending time with Logan. Once he was done making the food for both of them he decided to just eat in the living room so they could keep watching the movie and sat down with Logan as she moved as close to him as she could eating, Harry was just getting comfortable when the doorbell rang and got up to get it telling her to stay there.

 

"Liam, what are you doing here?" Harry nervously asked remembering that he never called Liam to tell him about his daughter.

 

"You didn't called me all weekend and I came to see you...are you watching toy story without me?" Liam asked heading to the living room while Harry closed the door and stood there not moving at all.

 

"Uh Harry? Wanna tell me who the little girl is?" Liam carefully asked coming back expecting an answer.

 

"My daughter." Harry answered but it came out sounding like a question.

 

"Your daughter? How did you...Harry please tell me she's here with Louis' permission and you didn't just took her." Liam asked panicking.

 

"What? I didn't took her Liam, I'm watching her because Louis had to work and no one else could watch her and this is my chance to show him he can trust me with her." Harry quickly explained offended that Liam thought he had kidnapped her.

 

"Okay okay I'm sorry...You have a lot to explain Styles. I wanna know now." Liam dragged Harry to the kitchen and made him sit then he took a seat across from him.

 

"After you left I called my mum and told her what had happened and she just asked me if Louis had finally told me and you have no idea how betrayed I felt knowing that my whole family knew about her but I didn't then she told me she had just found out too when she saw a picture of Louis holding a baby. We talked for a bit then she sent the pictures and...I just felt horrible because I missed every thing and it hurts, the next day I was walking around the park and I saw her and she called Louis daddy. I've been trying to convince Louis to let me be in her life and he agreed but he still hates me Liam." Harry teared remembering last night's conversation.

 

"Oh Harry, you have to understand that he's still hurting, you treated him like shit for two years just because you were in denial and then you-you hurt him...twice. He doesn't trust you and he probably thinks you're gonna hurt that little girl, but I think this is progress because he's letting you see her and be alone with her." Liam said grabbing one of Harry's hands.

 

"I would never hurt her, she's my daughter and I would never hurt my own kid. Yesterday I asked him if we could start over and try to be a family for Logan but he just yelled at me then laughed, he told me I should just find someone else and move on. I just want to make it up to him because I love him, I still do and he just laughed and I deserve it." Harry said quickly wiping away the tears.

 

"He can't just forget what he went through Harry. What are you gonna do?"

 

"What he said, I'm gonna find someone else and move on, get married and have more kids. I'll still be there for Logan no matter what. Last night I realized he will never forgive me and will never give me another chance, I'm just gonna focus on her and try to move on but no one's ever going to take his place." Harry mumbled.

 

"I think that's for the best. Can I meet her?" Liam smiled.

 

"Of course, she's your niece after all." Harry smiled big.

 

"My niece...holy fudge I'm an uncle." Liam grinned from ear to ear.

 

"Bug?" Harry called walking to the living room followed by Liam.

 

"Curly?" Logan copied then giggled from where she was sprawled on the couch with an empty plate on the table.

 

"Come here," Harry picked her up bringing her to Liam and she quickly hid her face on Harry's neck. "Logan this is uncle Liam."

 

"Hi Logan, I noticed you like toy story and did you know I like it too and my favorite's Woody. Who's your favorite?" Liam asked smiling when Logan looked at him then grabbed Harry's cheek bringing it next to hers.

 

"Jessy, I like Jessy." Logan smiled wiggling out of Harry's arms running back to the couch after Harry had set her down.

 

"Wow, she's gorgeous. What a combination of both Louis and you, she looks a lot like you but she's tiny like Louis was back when we were kids. She definitely got her size from him." Liam warmly smiled, fondness already showing up in his voice and eyes.

 

"Gosh Liam, she already has you wrapped around her little finger. Don't worry, I am too." Harry smiled turning his head around to look at Logan.

 

"She calls you curly, does she know you're her other father?" Liam asked taking a seat to watch the movie.

 

"I told her but she hasn't called me dad or daddy." Harry shrugged knowing it could take her forever to call him any of those and for now he was happy with curly.

 

"What do you want her to call you?"

 

"I really don't care. Louis is daddy and if she wants to call me dad that's fine with me." Harry smiled.

 

"Unca Leeyum you can borrow my Woody." Logan smiled crawling up to Liam giving him her Woody.

 

"Thank you Logan, that's really nice of you." Liam smiled and Harry knew he was a goner.

 

"I want it back when I go home with daddy." Logan announced crawling over Liam's lap to get to Harry while Harry laughed.

 

Harry ended up asking Liam to spend the day with them and soon Logan was climbing all over Liam and poking his stubble giggling every time he tried to fake eat her hand then hugged when Andy left for college.

 

"When's your family going to meet her?" Liam asked Harry.

 

"I don't know yet, she'll be turning four in two weeks and I thought that maybe they could meet her then." Harry sighed as Logan tied one of the many messy and painful pigtails with her bows.

 

"Harry...You look hilarious." Liam burst out laughing covering his mouth with his hand.

 

"No...he's pretty." Logan pointed putting a final bow on Harry's hair yanking it making Harry flinch but he didn't say anything, he would endure all kinds of pain if it meant she was happy and laughing.

 

"Yeah Liam I'm pretty. Bug tell uncle Liam your dad's pretty." Harry pulled Logan over to his lap wrapping his arms around her, he had been referring himself as her dad all day long.

 

"Unca Leeyum, dad's pretty." Logan giggled completely amused.

 

"Liam she said dad." Harry spoke then smiled.

 

"She did."

 

"Dad...daddy curly, I have to potty." She announced squirming in his arms until he let her go.

 

He took her to the bathroom noticing it was almost four and that Louis would be there to pick her up at any minute now, he took off the bows while he waited for her then walked in when she announced again that she couldn't reach the sink and he had to help her out so she could wash her hands. He heard the doorbell but knew Liam would answer it so he patiently waited for Logan to finish what she was doing, he walked back into the living room to see Louis and Liam talking.

 

"Daddy Louis!" Logan shouted running to Louis hugging his legs tightly.

 

"Hi love, how was your day? Did you do something fun?" Louis asked picking her up and kissing her cheek while she wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his temple.

 

"Yes! Daddy curly watched toy story with me and unca Leeyum too and I did daddy's hair like auntie El does mine. Unca Leeyum likes toy story and Woody. I missed you lots daddy." Logan babbled.

 

"I missed you too love. Uncle Liam, daddy curly?" Louis asked looking at the two nervous men.

 

"Mhm, daddy curly has lots of movies I like and we watched 'em." Logan took a deep breath resting her head on his shoulder.

 

"Hunter why don't you go ahead and pack your stuff in your bag." Louis set her down and watched her as she ran to get her bag.

 

"Thank you for watching her Harry and Liam it was really nice seeing you again." Louis gave a tiny smile directed at Liam.

 

"Yeah me too, I'm gonna go help her with her stuff." Liam quickly left the room leaving them alone in an awkward silence.

 

"Did she give you any trouble?" Louis asked.

 

"No, she was good...she's a good girl. I'm sorry Louis, she just started calling me daddy and I exactly don't want to tell her to stop." Harry explained.

 

"Don't you want her to call you daddy?" Louis asked afraid of the answer.

 

"No, no, I am happy that she calls me daddy and I just thought you won't like that." Harry quickly said taking a step forward careful not to get too close to him. 

 

"Harry she's your daughter and I don't mind if she calls you dad, it was bound to happen at some point now." Louis sighed fiddling with his hands.

 

"Thank you."

 

"You're welcome...You're gonna think I'm crossing the line but are you busy tomorrow? I would leave her with Zayn, Niall or Eleanor but they work late all week and I don't have anyone to-"

 

"I have to go to the studio tomorrow and do some stuff but I can take her with me...if you don't mind." Harry hesitated.

 

"Are you sure you can take her, what if she breaks something?" Louis asked.

 

"I own the studio and if she breaks something it's no big deal. I wanted to talk to you about something, she's my daughter too and I want to support her financially." Harry said then internally groaned when Louis suddenly turned to looking rather angry.

 

"You don't have to do that." Louis hissed.

 

"But I want to, I'm not doing it just because it's my responsibility, I'm doing it because I want to. Louis please." Harry begged.

 

"We'll talk about that later." Louis ended the conversation just as fast as it had started.

 

"Later then, just bring her tomorrow and bring her car seat. And like I said earlier, she can stay with me all week if you want." Harry said not smiling anymore like the previous days and Louis noticed it.

 

"-and we eat lots of ice cream, okay unca Leeyum." Logan smiled quickly hugging Liam then moved in front of Harry so he could pick her up..

 

"I'll see you tomorrow bug, daddy loves you." Harry kissed her cheeks and hugged her tightly.

 

"I love you too daddy curly." Logan smiled kissing his cheek.

 

"C'mon love, we have to go." Louis smiled.

 

"I'm coming over tomorrow daddy Louis? We have to watch Shwrek." Logan told Louis as he bundled her up.

 

"Yeah. Thank you again. Liam, nice seeing you again, Zayn and Niall would love to see you again." Louis smiled as Harry watched in pain how he'll never smile at him like that.

 

Louis left after Logan hugged Liam and cuddled with Harry for a little bit more then they left leaving Harry and Liam alone in a loud silence after the many laughs and giggles they had heard all day long.

 

"He changed a lot." Liam sat on the couch next to Harry organizing the DVD's.

 

"I know..." Harry mumbled.

 

"He's no longer that shy, quiet and innocent Louis we all knew."

 

"Of course not Liam...not after I ruined his life." Harry fiddled with as loose thread of his shirt.

 

"Have you seen his parents and sisters, I saw them a few months back when I went to visit my parents." Liam said wondering what had they talked about while he had been gone helping Logan.

 

"I haven't seen them since I stopped going to Doncaster. What are you doing tonight?" Harry asked.

 

"I hoping we could hang out some more, being adults suck cause we never have time for each other anymore." Liam sighed rubbing his temples.

 

"You're twenty two and I'm twenty one Liam, we're not that old yet." Harry finally cracked a smile making Liam feel better.

 

"Pretty soon you'll be twenty two with a four year old kid, what are you doing for your and her birthday. Is Louis throwing a party for her?" Liam asked already thinking of what he could get her.

 

"I honestly don't know Liam. I am spending it with my family and that includes you but I have no idea about her, if Louis throws her a party I don't think he's gonna invite me." Harry shrugged it off trying to make it look like it was no big deal but it hurt

 

"Logan will want you there, I've seen how attached she's to you already and she looks at you the same way she does to Louis and if that look she gives you both doesn't scream I love my daddies then I don't know what does. And Louis...underneath those walls he's built and the hard looks, I know the shy innocent Louis who loves you it's still there somewhere." Liam finished patting Harry's shoulder.

 

"He hates me Liam, he said so himself." Harry argued biting his bottom lip.

 

"You know Harry...they say it's true love when it hurts all the way to the depths of your soul, because that's what it is between Louis and you Harry. True love." Liam murmured putting his arm around Harry's shoulder.

 

"Yeah...well this one hurts for all the wrong reasons." Harry sighed letting one last single tear roll down his cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1387725488487_zpsf19d59f0.jpg.html)   
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> Direct link! :)
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> http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/PicsArt_1387725488487_zpsf19d59f0.jpg
> 
> I am aware that Logan has already started calling Harry daddy and you're all probably thinking it's too soon but I did it for a reason. You'll see why. :)
> 
> Thoughts?! :)


	9. You put your arms around me and I'm home

"Logan please don't run, you're gonna fall." Louis shouted after his daughter, as soon as they had stepped inside their home she had bolted towards the toys in the living room.

 

"I run good daddy Louis!" Logan yelled back.

 

Louis sighed at the daddy Louis and daddy curly just getting over it since it had to happen at some point but the idea of having to share his daughter wasn't that appealing to him. He erased those thoughts from his mind and started dinner before Logan could complain over how hungry she was enough to eat more than her uncle Niall which was saying something since that girl could eat like him and still stay tiny, a trait everyone liked to say she had gotten from him instead of Harry's height and broader figure. He spotted his cellphone next to Logan and wondered when had his sneaky daughter gotten ahold of it, he walked up to her and took it without saying anything as he searched for his contacts to call his mother Jay after a month of not talking to her when she kept insisting that he should tell Harry about their daughter and he had yelled at her telling her to mind her own business.

 

"Louis?" Jay answered the phone happy that he had finally called her back.

 

"I'm sorry mum." Louis' voice trembled.

 

"You have nothing to be sorry for darling, nothing. How are you, how's the munchkin?" Jay eagerly asked.

 

"We're good..." Louis mumbled. "Mum Harry knows!" He finally said after a pause.

 

"You finally told him? How did he reacted, did he accepted her?" Jay asked afraid of the answer, of Harry hurting Louis again even though Anne had reassured her that he loved Louis and wouldn't do anything against him.

 

"I didn't mum and I never planned on it but...do you remember the guy I told you about, the one who helped me when I had Logan? Andy Samuels knows Liam Payne and Liam's friends with Harry all three of them met up and since I had to work with Harry he had my pictures and Andy saw them, he told them about me not knowing who he was giving that information to." Louis explained taking a deep breath at the end.

 

"You worked with Harry?"

 

"Yeah mum, a photoshoot for Teen Vogue." Louis sighed looking inside the fridge to see what he could make.

 

"Oh, and the public hasn't caught up on the fact that you have a daughter and with the Harry Styles? Did Harry looked for both of you?" Jay asked.

 

"I've done a pretty good job at keeping her away from that environment but I don't know if they have yet, I don't really care anymore since the one who I was hiding her from already knows. He saw us at the park and I tried to get away from there but he told me he knew everything then threatened to get custody if I didn't let him see her which I know now that a judge will never grant it to him but I was too stunned to realize it back then. He spent the weekend here and since Anna can't babysit all week Harry's gonna watch her while I'm gone, mum she already calls him daddy." Louis wailed pulling his hair with his free hand.

 

"Well he is her father after all and I know it's not easy for you but he has the right to know her." Jay tried to reason with him.

 

"He doesn't deserve her mum, I don't trust him with her and today I couldn't concentrate at all because I had to leave her with him, I had no choice." Louis moved around in the kitchen.

 

"I have to tell you something." Jay nervously said.

 

"Shoot."

 

"The day before we talked for the last time Anne, Gemma, and Robin came over for dinner and please don't be mad at Daisy. She was in my room going through your pictures and found the two pictures you sent me after Logan was born and showed them to Anne and Gemma, sweetheart I had to tell them who the baby was and I made them promise me they weren't going to tell Harry. I'm guessing they didn't because then Harry would've found you a long time ago and yesterday Anne told me Harry had called her crying hysterically after he found out." Jay explained.

 

"How-how did Harry's family took the news?" Louis fiddled with a spoon.

 

"They're dying to meet her Louis, they already love her and Anne even asked for a picture of her but since I don't have any apart from those two I couldn't really give her any."

 

"They'll meet her soon." Louis told her making a drastic decision.

 

"Are you coming home?" Jay smiled trying to contain her excitement.

 

"I was thinking that maybe we could celebrate her birthday in Doncaster that way Anne, Gemma, and Robin can meet her." Louis said poking his head out of the kitchen to check on Logan frowning when he didn't see her.

 

"Are you gonna invite Harry?" Jay asked.

 

"I have to-hold on mum, I don't know where Logan went." Louis said panicking then calmed down when he saw her under the kitchen table playing with a Barbie.

 

"Is she okay?"

 

"Yeah, she was under the table...like I was saying, if they're gonna meet her then I think Harry has to be there ." Louis sighed.

 

"How's Harry with her?"

 

"He's-he's really good with her, more than he should be." Louis grumbled looking around the kitchen for nothing in particular.

 

"There's something you're not telling me Lou, c'mon spit it out." Jay demanded sensing her son's uneasiness.

 

"Harry asked for another chance, he said he wanted to be a family if I wanted and said he was really sorry for what he did." Louis confessed.

 

"And what did you said?"

 

"You know I still love him mum and I don't get it why but it's not that easy, I can't just forget everything he did to me. I said horrible things and I even laughed, I told him that he should just move on and find someone else and form a family." Louis said wiping a few tears away.

 

"Are you sure that's what you want Louis?" Jay asked worried about them.

 

"No but it's for the best." Louis quickly answered.

 

"If that's what you want then I'll support you no matter what."

 

"Now he's telling me he wants to support her financially and then what? He'll probably want her to have his last name, he'll want his name on her birth certificate and I can't let that happen." Louis complained.

 

The realization of Harry wanting to recognize her and be recognized as her biological father scared him because he knew that once his name was there he would have rights over her and will be able to make decisions regarding her and that's something he didn't wanted and couldn't let it happen. Ever since the day he found out he was pregnant with her and from day one he had always being the one to take care of her and support her giving her everything he could. Whenever he couldn't afford her diapers or even formula he would always sacrifice buying something he wanted or needed just so she wouldn't starve and was grateful that his friends and family were always there to help him. Now that Harry wanted to support her when they didn't needed it anymore angered him and he just wanted to tell him to fuck off.

 

"I don't know what to tell you Lou, I honestly don't." Jay sighed.

 

"I have to go mum, I have to make dinner." Louis said.

 

"Alright love, I'll see you and Logan in a few weeks. Just wait until I tell Mark and the girls you're coming home, tell my grandbaby I love her and give her a kiss for me please. Love you Lou." Jay happily said.

 

"I love you too mum." Louis smiled then hung up getting ready to cook when he felt tiny hands around his thigh. He looked down smiling then picked her up cradling her head against his chest after she kissed his cheek.

 

"Where's daddy curly?" Logan asked looking around the kitchen expecting to see Harry and frowned when she didn't see him.

 

"He's at his house baby." Louis answered brushing her hair with his fingers.

 

"I'm hungry." Logan announced.

 

"Tell me something love, was daddy curly nice to you?" Louis asked her hoping to get some information out of her.

 

"Mhm, he let me watch all his movies and made food and played with me."

 

"And did he told you to call him daddy curly?" Louis pushed for answers.

 

"He is daddy curly, he plays with me like Alex daddy and curly says he's my daddy. Is he, daddy Louis?" Logan asked frowning in confusion looking at Louis with her hand on his cheek.

 

"Do you want him to be your daddy?" Louis asked not knowing what to tell her.

 

"Yes, he's nice." Logan sighed putting her head on Louis' shoulder and he could hear her yawning.

 

"Yeah baby, he is your daddy." Louis said as a few tears escaped from his eyes wishing things were easier but knowing that was impossible and he hated himself for not being able to give his daughter the life and family she deserved.

 

For the rest of the day he couldn't stop thinking about every single thing he had to go through, all the tears he had and is still crying wishing he could just forget and be forgotten and instead focused on Logan's birthday party and how he and Harry were going do things. He wondered if Alex's parents would be willing to drive all the way to Doncaster and groaned when he remembered he hadn't even gotten their phone numbers that day at the park. He was even more nervous knowing Anne, Gemma, and Robin were going to meet her and it wasn't because Logan was a shy girl which she wasn't at all, it was the fact that by her birthday she would have new grandparents and a new aunt.

 

"Daddy I'm tired." Logan yawned taking her clothes off in the middle of the living room to change into pajamas and go to bed.

 

"Aren't you going to take a bath first." Louis asked trying not to laugh.

 

"Yes, you get it ready okay?" Logan smiled walking to her room with her clothes in one hand and Mr. Curls in the other.

 

After he was done giving her a bath and had put her to bed he took a quick shower then went to bed so he wouldn't over sleep the next day.

 

~*~

 

"Thanks for inviting me Drew, I had a great time." Harry smiled opening the door of his flat.

 

"No problem, we should do it again some other day." Drew smiled.

 

"Yeah definitely."

 

Liam had left a few hours later after Louis and Logan did and not really wanting to be alone yet had called Drew, one of his old classmates from uni asking what he was doing and ended up being invited to dinner by him. Nick was in the past when Drew told him he was married and he had even attended the wedding the previous year and Harry feeling guilty had deleted his number. Harry had never laughed like he did with Drew in almost six years and he felt so much better after spending time with him even if it could never compare to the lazy afternoons he spent cuddled up next to Louis when they were still best friends. He began to wonder why he had never noticed Drew the way he was doing now but he knew he was just desperate to find someone and get over Louis and as he kept talking he did something without really thinking it through. He leaned in and caught Drew's lips on his own as he kissed back, it lasted a few seconds before Harry pulled away looking at him nervously.

 

"I-I've always wanted you to do that." Drew blushed looking at the floor.

 

"Really?" Harry asked.

 

"Yeah." He smiled.

 

"Listen...I know it's a little soon but I was thinking-do you want to go on a date with me?" He asked.

 

"I would love to." Drew said.

 

"Okay...I'll text you okay." Harry said.

 

"Yeah, I'll see you later Harry." Drew hugged Harry before leaving.

 

Harry let out a deep breath then walked into his flat taking his clothes off on the way to his room willing himself to believe that asking Drew on a date and later maybe become something more was for the best. He was a great guy and Harry knew that maybe one day he would be able to fall in love with him and forget Louis wanting to cry because that was impossible, he couldn't and will never stop loving Louis as much as he tried and no matter what he did. He fell asleep thinking about the family he could have had but threw away, the family he never had and would never have because of the bad things he had done.

 

The next morning Harry slowly walked back to his flat all bundled up to protect himself from the cold morning after a morning jog around the block, he walked into the lobby just as the elevator door where he had seen Louis and Logan closed then quickly took the stairs jogging at a fast but steady space. He slowed down when he was on the floor below his and when he walked out of the staircase Louis was already knocking holding Logan's car seat and bag as she stood next to him leaning against his leg with an arm wrapped around his thigh also knocking on the door, she turned around when she heard him and her eyes widened and took off running towards him.

 

"Curly my daddy!" She giggled colliding against his legs wrapping her arms around them looking up at him with the biggest smile noticing tiny dimples starting to form on her slightly chubby cheeks.

 

"Good morning sunshine." Harry smiled bending down to pick her up littering her face with kisses as she giggled grabbing his nose to make him stop.

 

"Morning Louis, How are you?" Harry asked still laughing glancing at Louis for a few seconds before his attention went back to Logan.

 

"I'm good. How are you?" Louis awkwardly asked noticing he wasn't paying attention to him at all.

 

"Good." Harry said walking over to the door to open it letting Louis in first.

 

"So uh...here's her stuff and call me if anything happens." 

 

"Actually, do you mind if I take a quick shower first? I smell and I don't wanna leave her alone." Harry asked.

 

"No, not at all. I'll wait here." Louis quickly said and watched him put Logan down then walk to where Louis assumed was his room definitely not thinking about naked Harry and now that he thought about it he never saw him properly naked that day, he only felt him.

 

He slowly sat down on the couch watching Logan as she went through the DVD's on the coffee table then walked over to the tv stand plopping down and opening it taking out more movies smiling when she saw one she liked. He looked around the room taking in the creme colored walls with random and beautiful pictures noticing a black and white picture of Anne and Gemma looking down at a white rose they were holding, they were smiling and Louis couldn't help but smile too.

 

"Hunter please put those movies back." Louis sighed getting up to put them back in their place.

 

"We watching them daddy." Logan pouted looking at Louis.

 

"You already have movies out on top of the coffee table baby, when you're done watching those and put them back here then you can take these out. They're not going anywhere sweetheart." Louis explained.

 

"Okay daddy Louis." Logan shrugged and Louis knew what she was up to, wait for him to leave to take them out again.

 

"Thank you love." Louis smiled helping her put them back.

 

"Louis?" He heard Harry.

 

"In here." Louis answered still trying to put all the movies back noticing they were all children movies and the not so children friendly were out of her reach and he relaxed a bit.

 

"What are you do-oh it's alright if she wants to take them all out, I don't mind." Harry said typing on his phone wearing the biggest smile making Louis wonder who he was texting.

 

"Don't do that Harry." Louis said putting the last DVD in its place.

 

"Do what?" Harry gave Louis a confused look.

 

"Let her do whatever she wants to whenever she feels like it. I know you haven't been around her whole life but that's not how I raised her, I'm not saying you're a bad parent but try to show her that she needs to listen to you or else she won't whenever you ask her to do or stop doing something." Louis explained as best as he could trying to avoid what had happened when they went out for breakfast.

 

"Okay, thanks for not yelling at me." Harry smiled 

 

"No problem," Louis said taking in Harry's appearance, he was just wearing black skinny jeans and a white shirt, hair still a little wet. "I'm gonna go now. I'll come pick you up at four baby, I love you and be a good girl for daddy curly okay." Louis smiled hugging her kissing her cheek.

 

"I love you too daddy, lots and lots." She wrapped her arms around his neck then let go giving him kisses on the cheek.

 

"She already had breakfast, call me if anything happens." Louis said then left leaving Harry alone with his daughter.

 

They stared at each other for a while not saying anything until she sighed loudly and walked up to him holding her arms up into the air so he could pick her up. Harry happily picked her up and hugged her rubbing her back rocking her from side to side enjoying the quiet time with her. He decided to get ready so he could go to the studio and then grocery shopping if he wanted food in the house to feed his daughter.

 

"We're gonna go out and when we come back we can watch Shrek okay." Harry let her know trying to put her down but she only clung to him tighter.

 

"Hold me daddy curly, daddy Louis holds me." Logan whined and how could he say no to her.

 

Harry quickly got ready doing everything while holding her finding the task quite difficult but managed to do it nonetheless. He laughed when she demanded she be put down so she could press the elevator buttons and as soon as they were in the lobby he grabbed her hand tighter, it was his first time with her all by himself without Louis and he wanted everything to go okay.

 

"Where we going?" She asked him as he buckled her up in the backseat.

 

"Well miss Logan, first we're gonna go to my studio where I work then we're gonna go grocery shopping." Harry finished buckling her up then kissed her forehand shutting the door and quickly getting on the drivers side.

 

"Daddy Louis never takes me to his work." Logan pouted.

 

"That's because he can't bug." Harry smiled looking at her through the rearview mirror.

 

"You can." She sighed focusing her attention on Mr. Curls.

 

"Daddy"

 

"Yeah love bug?"

 

"I love daddy Louis, do you love him too?" She innocently asked chewing in Mr. Curls ear.

 

"Yeah, I love daddy Louis too." He answered without hesitation then focused back on the road.

 

He couldn't stop thinking about what she had just asked him, even if he was gonna go on a date with Drew he couldn't help but wish it was Louis. He wished Louis would forgive him and start a family with him but he had to learn, he had to stop loving him. He reached for his iPod plugging it in and immediately music filled the car catching Logan's attention who began moving her head to the beat of the song.

 

"You got me running going out of my mind, you got me thinking that I'm wasting my time. Don't bring me down." Harry sang along.

 

He parked his car in the usual spot taking his iPod shutting down the engine before he grabbed his and Logan's stuff and unbuckled her picking her up. He set her down holding her hand and walked up to the door noticing a cardboard box outside by the steps and carefully approached it looking inside just as Logan let out an excited squeal letting go of his hand.

 

"Look daddy, it's a puppy!" She exclaimed kneeling down and just as she was about to touch it Harry intervened.

 

"Bug I don't think we should touch it." Harry freaked out pulling her backwards observing the small Golden Retriever.

 

"Why?" She whined.

 

"It could have fleas or ticks, they're gross and bad for you." Harry explained and watched horrified when she picked it up hugging it close to his chest.

 

"Logan put-" Harry checked to see the gender. "Logan put him back please."

 

"Daddy I want him." Logan begged.

 

"I'm sorry bug but we can't keep him, I don't think daddy Louis would like a dog in his flat." Harry said feeling bad for not letting her keep him.

 

"But he's just a little boy and needs cuddles 'cause he's cold. 'Arry please. Daddy..." Logan began crying.

 

Logan's tears and the dog's whimpers was all Harry could see and hear as he struggled to keep his decision of not letting her keep him, he didn't wanted to give Louis another reason to make him think he was a shit parent. He tried to take the puppy away but she began to full on cry and Harry felt horrible because all he wanted was to see her laughing and never crying so he just smiled at her knowing Louis was going to kill him and probably never let him see her again.

 

"Okay we'll keep him but he has to live with me, you can't take him with you and daddy Louis, okay?" Harry said.

 

"Okay." Logan hicupped hugging the puppy tighter.

 

"How are we gonna name him?" Harry asked unlocking the door and making a mental note to take him to a vet later that day.

 

"Number two." Logan simply answered walking in while Harry tried not to laugh.

 

"Baby we can't name him number two, he needs a more appropriate name." Harry chuckled putting all his stuff on top of his desk then knelt down in front of her.

 

"I don't know..." Logan mumbled thoughtfully.

 

"How about...Bruno? You like Bruno?" Harry asked.

 

"No."

 

"Buttercup or...chocolate?" Harry suggested poking her nose.

 

"Buttercup Cocholate. His name is Buttercup Cocholate daddy." Logan decided stepping closer to Harry wrapping her arm around his neck.

 

"Are you sure that's how you wanna name him?" Harry asked hoping for a no.

 

"Yes." Logan nodded kissing Harry's nose then giggled when Buttercup licked her chin.

 

"Alright, Buttercup Chocolate it is then." Harry smiled.

 

He immediately got to work wanting to finish early while Logan played with her puppy under his careful watch, he played some music and chuckled when Logan kept asking him to play 'Don't bringing me down' over and over. Once he was done he picked his stuff up and left his studio carrying both Logan and Buttercup after she accidentally dropped him and had cried for thirty minutes straight telling him and Harry she was so sorry while he held her and comforted her. He got in his car sending a quick text to Louis telling him she was doing fine then drove towards the vet after he had called a trusted clinic he had found on the internet to make a fast appointment satisfied when he walked in.

 

"Hi, I'm Harry Styles. I called earlier today to make an appointment to get this little guy checked out." He smiled at the brunette receptionist who smiled warmly at him when she saw him carrying his daughter, her bag and the puppy while trying to wipe her nose with a tissue.

 

"Of course Mr. Styles, if you'll just fill these out for me please." She smiled.

 

"Thank you." Harry smiled putting Logan down then took the forms guiding her to sit in one of the chairs putting Buttercup on her lap.

 

"I'm hungry." Logan announced playing with the dog and looking at Harry expecting the food to pop out from his hands like it did with Louis.

 

"Oh, umm daddy packed you peanut butter crackers. I'll buy you something to eat when we get out of here okay?" Harry said rummaging through her bag then took out a bag of crackers opening it then giving it to her.

 

"Okay." She shrugged taking them and eating them silently.

 

"I want soda, daddy Louis gives me soda." Logan said after a while of sitting there.

 

"No he doesn't, he told me you can't have any. Water's better for you bug." Harry smiled giving her a small water bottle. 

 

To Harry it felt like an eternity as he waited to be called in then the appointment itself having to answer a few questions and after that he took Logan to eat something healthy before going to the grocery store. Logan absolutely refused to leave Buttercup in the car and Harry had to stand in front of her in the parking lot trying to convince her to leave him telling her that they weren't allowed in the store. He didn't know being a father could be that hard until she started kicking the back of the front seat crying loudly and people would either look at him with a sorry look or a judgmental one. 

 

The shopping was easier and once he had gotten everything he needed for them and the dog he finally went back to his flat where he collapsed on the couch with Logan completely exhausted from the long day after putting away the groceries. They watched Shrek then fell asleep on the couch cuddling close together with her arms around him where he finally felt at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/harry-styles-running-14_zps2bf964a5.jpg.html)   
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> http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/harry-styles-running-14_zps2bf964a5.jpg.html
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> Thoughts? :)


	10. So I'll make whirlpools, and watch him sparkle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter of the year that's also chapter ten! We made it to the double digits! Happy New year!
> 
> I was listening to Legendary Lovers by Katy Perry and Your Song by Kate Walsh while typing this. Lol

Harry was already awake when Louis got there to pick their daughter up, he was making something to eat while she played with Buttercup when he heard the doorbell and went to open the door rather nervously whistling all the way there. Louis stood there looking exhausted and ready to go to bed as soon as he had his daughter and they were back in their home.

 

"Long day?" Harry casually asked letting him in.

 

"Yeah. Where's Logan?" Louis walked inside looking around.

 

"She's in the kitchen...playing...under the table." Harry hesitated looking at Louis with a questioning and worried look.

 

"She tends to do that when I'm making dinner." Louis explained.

 

"Oh okay...I was worried there." He mumbled.

 

"How was she?"

 

"Uh, she was-she was good." Harry awkwardly answered standing in front of Louis.

 

Louis sighed, "What did she do?"

 

"She threw a few tantrums but nothing I couldn't handle." Harry quickly said leaning against the wall crossing his arms over his chest.

 

"Welcome to fatherhood." Louis mumbled tearing his gaze away from Harry .

 

"Yeah. Listen, I need to tell you something." Harry said wanting to tell him about the dog but Logan got there first with Buttercup following behind her.

 

"Daddy Lou you're back, I missed you!" Logan hugged his legs kissing his left thigh while Louis only had eyes for the puppy running around his daughter never taking his eyes off of him when Logan ran to the living room giggling.

 

"You-Harry you got her a dog? Is that why she threw that tantrum? She wanted the dog?" Louis asked shaking his head pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

"Yeah, I guess I did. I hate seeing her cry and she wouldn't let go of him so I let her keep him. Don't worry though, I made her promise me he would stay here so you don't have to deal with him." Harry quickly explained noticing how tense Louis was and how red his face was getting and all he wanted to do was hug him and kiss him until he relaxed but didn't knowing it would only cause the opposite.

 

"If you hate seeing her cry just wait until we have to leave! Do you really think she's gonna want to leave him behind? I swear you're so stupid when it comes to her." Louis snapped missing the hurt expression flashing across Harry's face.

 

"Love bug, time to eat. C'mon let's wash our hands." Harry said loud enough for her to hear him turning around ignoring Louis walking back to the kitchen where Logan was already waiting for him.

 

"Want to eat too?" Harry asked him not even looking his way.

 

"Sure." Louis sighed.

 

Louis followed Harry to the kitchen watching him carefully hold her up so she could wash her hands while he did the same then after drying them with a paper towel he set her down with a kiss to the forehead before she ran to sit eyeing the plate of pizza in front of her licking her lips. Harry took another plate out while Louis washed his hands then all three of them sat down eating in complete silence except for Buttercup's small barks and Logan's giggles when he wiggled his tail around.

 

"Sweetheart please don't feed him pizza, he has his own food." Harry said noticing Logan trying to feed him a piece of pepperoni.

 

"But he's hungry." She insisted.

 

"He's not, he just ate and if you give him more food he's gonna get sick." Harry calmly told her surprising Louis at how patient he was.

 

"Okay..." Logan frowned popping it into her mouth.

 

"Where did you ordered this from? It's delicious." Louis genuinely asked.

 

"I didn't ordered it, I made it from scratch and Logan helped me. Right bug, you helped daddy." Harry took another bite.

 

"Mhm, I'm a big girl now." Logan nodded frantically.

 

Louis continued eating completely impressed by Harry's cooking skills and observed him noticing he never glanced his way, he only glanced Logan's way and sometimes he looked deep in thought with a faraway look. He looked down and when he looked at him again he noticed Harry had tomato sauce right under his bottom lip and seemed to not have noticed it yet.

 

"You have tomato sauce on your face." Louis said pointing to his own bottom lip.

 

"Did I get it off?" Harry asked after he had tried to wipe it off.

 

"No, it's still there." Louis pointed out and out of instinct after four years of doing it to Logan he reached out to wipe it off with his own napkin but Harry quickly leaned backwards to avoid being touched by Louis and wiped it off himself.

 

"Sorry..." Louis quickly apologized focusing on his pizza trying to ignore the pang on his chest.

 

"It's okay, don't worry about it." Harry mumbled avoiding Louis' gaze.

 

It wasn't that he didn't wanted to be touched by Louis, he was dying to have him in his arms and never let him go again but if he wanted to stop loving him and move on then he needed to avoid him as much as he could and at the moment he wasn't doing a great job. They ate in silence until it was time for Louis and Logan to go and Harry was nervous thinking whether she would cry not wanting to leave him behind.

 

"Bye love bug, I'll see your cute self tomorrow. I love yo so so much, to the moon and back sunshine." Harry picked her up attacking her cheeks and forehead with loud kisses.

 

"Say bye to Buttercup, he'll be waiting here for you tomorrow to play with you." Harry put her down hoping she wouldn't cry feeling Louis' eyes on him choosing to ignore him.

 

"Bye Buttercup Cocholate, I love you baby." Logan cooed petting his head while he tried to lick her face.

 

"Buttercup Chocolate?" Louis asked.

 

"Yup, Buttercup Chocolate Styles. She wanted to name him number two so I had to intervene there." Harry chuckled at the memory and Louis smiled at his daughter's antics.

 

"Logan c'mon, we have to go love." Louis grabbed her bag and car seat.

 

"'Kay, bye daddy." Logan waved then skipped towards the front door humming 'don't bring me down'.

 

"Thanks for watching her. So...tomorrow same time?" Louis asked.

 

"Yeah. Have a good afternoon." Harry said unable to smile like he always did.

 

Harry kissed Logan one more time then they left leaving him glad that he had Buttercup because he didn't feel so alone anymore, he walked to his room texting Drew if he was available saturday night then went straight for another shower before he settled on the couch watching Bee Movie cuddling with Buttercup. The week passed by faster than Harry would've liked it because it meant his days with Logan were almost over and he had to go back to work. Everyday was the same, Louis would drop her off, they would go out to run some errands or they would stay in and watch movies or play and sometimes when Liam visited they would all go out to eat. Even though Louis still had his doubts when it came to Harry he was slowly learning to trust him with Logan and didn't feel that fear of Harry ever hurting Logan anymore.

 

Now that he was on his way to pick her up on her last day of Harry watching her he remembered Harry's birthday was a week away and that meant Logan's was two weeks away and he still hadn't talked to Harry about her birthday party he was planning. He wondered if going back there was the right thing to do but quickly washed that thought away when he realized that if Harry was going to be in Logan's life then he needed to face all his fears and that included going back to his childhood room that was now Lottie's but was still in his nightmares either him hurting him or him spending time with Harry when he was nice. He got out of the elevator and immediately heard the music coming from Harry's flat and wondered what the hell were they doing now fearing the worst after what had happened the day before when Harry had decided to bake cupcakes because Logan had a craving and she asked him to and he had enlisted her help which ended up with a giggling hyper little girl covered in flour jumping from couch to couch and Harry didn't looked any better.

 

'You got me running going out of my mind, you got me thinking that I'm wasting my time. Don't bring me down. No, no, no, no, no.' Louis heard both Harry and Logan singing along at the top their lungs. He knocked once then used the doorbell and when Harry didn't answered he hesitantly opened the door to find them dancing ridiculously in the middle of the living room. He stood there watching them with a tiny smile until the song was over and Harry turned around still laughing but he quickly stopped when he saw Louis and as fast as he could went to turn off the music.

 

"Hi Louis." Harry said watching Logan as she ran to Louis hugging his legs telling him how much she missed him and loves him.

 

"Hey." Louis mumbled after he told her he missed and loves her too noticing that ever since the pizza incident Harry had changed with him. Had he found someone else already? Louis thought.

 

"Love why don't you go pack your stuff and play with Buttercup while I talk to daddy." Louis smiled kissing the top of her head and patting her bum as she ran to Harry's room to get her stuff.

 

"What did you wanted to talk about?" Harry asked trying to organize the living room.

 

"Well I-" Louis stopped midsentence when he noticed Harry wasn't even looking at him. "Could you at least look at me while I'm talking, this is important." He snapped.

 

"I'm listening." Harry stopped what he was doing and sat down on the couch in front of Louis.

 

"Logan's birthday is coming up and I'm gonna throw her a party at my mum's place the fifteenth. I'm telling you this because I want you to go. I figured your family wants to meet her so the sooner we do this the better." Louis said waiting for Harry to respond.

 

"Yeah, I'll love to be there. Thanks for inviting me." Harry smiled at Louis for the very first time since tuesday.

 

"Yeah..." Louis mumbled.

 

"Bye love bug, I love you." Harry smiled picking her up as soon as she walked out of his room and kissed her before she kissed her dog and left waving at him.

 

***

 

"Did you do anything fun?" Louis asked her as soon as they were in the car.

 

"Daddy curly played with me and Cocholate, we watched movies and helped daddy with food." Logan mumbled sleepily.

 

Louis smiled and didn't say anything else and let her fall asleep figuring out she must be tired after doing all that dancing, soon he was home putting her in bed then sat down on the couch watching tv. Everything was quiet until there was a loud knocking on the door and he quickly scrambled up to get it before it could wake Logan up or else she'll be grumpy for the rest of the day. 

 

"Tomlinson, we haven't seen you in forever!" Zayn exclaimed hugging him.

 

"I thought you guys were still at work." Louis smiled letting them in.

 

"We just got out and we wanted to see you. Where's my baby?" Eleanor asked looking around.

 

"Asleep." Louis smiled hugging her then Niall.

 

"Is she sick?" Niall asked.

 

"No. Harry just has a thing for exhausting her." Louis walked back to the living room plopping down on the couch.

 

"Harry?" Zayn asked trying not to roll his eyes.

 

"Yeah, Anna couldn't babysit for the whole week and you guys were all working late and I had to find someone to watch her. I had no other choice but to leave her with him all week." Louis sighed.

 

"How did it go?" Eleanor asked.

 

"Good, nothing bad happened to her. She's still in one piece so it was good." Louis shrugged .

 

"Just spit it out Louis." Zayn demanded crossing his arms over his chest.

 

"She's been calling him daddy since monday and you guys better pack because I'm having her birthday party at my mum's house the fifteenth."

 

"Well, her calling him daddy had to happen since she always asked for him before he showed up and why are you having her party there?" Eleanor asked.

 

"Harry and his family already know she exists so what's the point of hiding her, it's time for me to go back and face everything." Louis sighed eyeing his three friends who were looking at him with a worried expression.

 

"Did you talk to Harry on sunday?" Niall asked.

 

"Yeah...didn't go too well if I'm honest." Louis said remembering what had happened.

 

"Why, what happened?" Zayn sat up to listen closely to Louis.

 

"I told him he could only see her on the weekends but only if I was the one around and he started asking why only those days and I told him I didn't trusted him, he told me he would never hurt her but after all those beatings and insults I don't trust him. I might be starting to trust him with her now but not with me, every time I'm close to him I'm scared he'll hurt me again." Louis began crying.

 

"It's okay LouLou, please don't cry." Zayn tried not to cry himself as he reached to hug him.

 

"He said he was really sorry for everything he had done but I can't forgive him, I want to but I can't. I can't. He said he still loves me and asked for another chance and that we could be a family if I wanted to." Louis wiped away the tears.

 

"What did you tell him?" Niall asked.

 

"I laughed and repeated those same things he told me that night and told him to move on, find someone else, get married and have kids. He just said okay and left, if he really loved me then he would've stayed." He mumbled playing with a loose thread on his shirt.

 

"But that's what you wanted Louis, you told him you guys could never be together and he respected your decision because that's what you told him you wanted." Eleanor calmly said trying to soothe him.

 

"Yes I said that but that's not what I want, that's not what I want but his apologies came too late and I just don't know what to do anymore." Louis hiccuped.

 

"Fucking hell Louis William! If you love him then go get him, tell him how you feel before it's too late and he finds someone new." Zayn said surprising everyone.

 

"I thought you hated him." Louis mumbled.

 

"I do. I can't stand him but if you still love him and he loves you enough to start a family then I'll try to be nice. I just don't wanna see you cry anymore Lou." Zayn whimpered hugging him.

 

"I'm scared Zayn, he touched me once and I freaked out. I can't forget. He's changed since that argument, he-he used to always be watching me but now he ignores me and tries to avoid me as much as he can." Louis confessed.

 

"Oh Lou...don't you see he's doing that to get over you?" Eleanor said trying to make Louis feel better but he only cried harder.

 

After ten minutes of him crying he finally calmed down enough to go to the bathroom and shower while his friends were there to watch Logan for him, his eyes and nose were less red than they had been before and once he was dressed and ready to get out of the bathroom he remembered he still had to skin Niall alive. He went back to the living room to see them all watching a movie and decided to join.

 

"So last sunday after you all left I gave Logan frozen bananas but she said that fucking shit was making her cold. I've been wondering where she could have heard those words enough times for her to start repeating them." Louis said looking at a nervous Niall.

 

"Eleanor said them! I told her to quit it but she just doesn't have a filter." Niall immediately accused Eleanor.

 

"You filthy liar, that was you!" Eleanor exclaimed smacking his knee.

 

"Don't lie anymore!" Niall gasped covering his mouth with his hands watching her with a horrified expression.

 

"I know it was you Niall, Logan told me." Louis laughed.

 

"That little traitor, I'm gonna tickle her until she pees herself." Niall mumbled hiding his red face on Zayn's chest as he wrapped his arms around him.

 

"It's okay Niall, just don't say them again. I don't want her to have a potty mouth or be using that kind of language when she meets Harry's family." Louis laughed patting Niall's back realizing what he had just said finding it came naturally for him to say it.

 

"Sorry about that Lou, sorry EllyEl." Niall smiled coming out of his hiding place.

 

"Did she really said them? What-what did she said?" Zayn asked trying not to laugh.

 

"This fucking bananas make me cold, I'm freezing. And this fucking shit makes me cold daddy." Louis repeated what she had said and Zayn burst out laughing with Niall and Eleanor following after.

 

"Daddy?" Logan mumbled walking towards Louis half asleep making grabby hands at him.

 

"Hi love." Louis smiled picking her up placing her across his lap so she could go back to sleep.

 

"Daddy I want Buttercup." She looked at Louis pleadingly putting her hand on his cheek.

 

"Baby, Buttercup has to stay with Harry. You promised him remember?" Louis reminded her.

 

"Oh." Logan shifted around until her eyes landed on Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor.

 

"Uncas, auntie!" She shouted launching herself at Zayn knowing he would always catch her.

 

"Cupcake, I haven't seen you all week! I missed you." Zayn cooed hugging her tight.

 

"I missed you too." Logan smiled.

 

"Monster! Come to uncle Niall who loves you with all his heart." Niall laughed grabbing her and kissing her all over.

 

"Hi baby, may I ask who Buttercup is?" Eleanor asked reaching out to kiss her cheek.

 

"My puppy." Logan giggled then wiggled out of Niall's arms and ran to sit down in the middle of the living room.

 

"Harry got her a dog." Louis shrugged like it wasn't big deal he had gotten her a real living one instead of a fake one from Toys R Us.

 

"He's gonna spoil her rotten." Eleanor smiled watching Logan with fondness.

 

"His family wanting to meet her is one of the reasons I'm having her party in Doncaster." Louis bit his bottom lip fiddling with his fingers.

 

"They must be really excited, Anne, Gemma, and Robin are lovely people. They're gonna love her Lou, it's hard not to." Zayn smiled reassuringly.

 

"Zayn, El and I are gonna go out to eat at this new restaurant and we want you and Logan to go too. Please." Niall asked with wide baby blue eyes and a pouty bottom lip that Louis just couldn't say not to.

 

"Of course we'll go. Is it fancy?" 

 

"Dress casual but formal. You know what I mean?" Niall asked getting ready to explain.

 

"Yes Niall, I know what you mean?" Louis smiled.

 

"Oh my God! I saw the cutest dress for Logan the other day and I got it for her, I'll bring it over tomorrow." Eleanor beamed.

 

Louis smiled at her because if he didn't had her his daughter would probably be dressed in rags or boyish since Louis had no clue as to what kind of clothes to get her. His mother was back in Doncaster and Eleanor had been the one to teach him how to do curly hair since none of his sisters had it like that and how to dress her girly. Of course he didn't wanted her to be that girly and he was lucky Zayn, Niall and himself balanced that out. He observed Logan and noticed new habits she had probably picked up from Harry like grabbing her bottom lip with her thumb and index finger and the way she shook her curls then adjusted them back in out of her face just like Harry did.

 

"What happened to the curly I used to know, you let your mind out somewhere down that road. Don't bring me down. No, no, no, no, no. I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor. Don't bring me down." Logan sang out of nowhere changing girl to curly.

 

"What have you two been listening to?" Zayn asked giving Louis an incredulous look.

 

"Harry." Louis simply answered.

 

A few hours later after his friends had gone home Louis lay in bed half asleep with Logan on top of his chest wanting but unable to stop thinking about Harry and the possibility that he might be seeing someone and decided that if he was then he wasn't going to let that person be around Logan. He was extremely protective of his daughter and there was no way he would let a complete stranger be around her. He was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone vibrated on his night stand where he clumsily picked it up opening a text from Harry and felt his heart swelling up when he read the text, Harry was just asking him to please give her a hug and goodnight kiss for him since he wasn't there to do it himself. He replied with an of course before putting the phone down then he kissed the top of Logan's head wrapping his arms around her like he had done the day she was born and held her for the very first time. He made himself comfortable and fell asleep smiling a little hugging her tighter. 

 

The next day Louis' day was hectic just like he had predicted it with Logan running around and refusing to put pants on, he then had to wait for Eleanor to show up with the dress and for her to do Logan's hair after she told him to keep his hands off of it. A few hours later Eleanor showed up dressed in a black dress a few inches above her knees and hair in flawless long waves cascading over her back and shoulders.

 

"My God El, you look gorgeous." Louis smiled letting her in.

 

"Why thank you Mr. Tomlinson. You look very handsome yourself." Eleanor hugged him then shoved him over to the side squealing when she saw a pantless Logan running towards her.

 

"Auntie El, you're here!" Logan exclaimed jumping into her arms.

 

"Hi baby! Where are your pants lovely? C'mon, I'm gonna do your hair." She smiled carrying her towards her room. 

 

She quickly set her down on her bed and began doing her hair while Louis opened the bag she had been carrying revealing a pink silk tartan dress with gathered neckline,and a pleated skirt section with a tonal tie at the waist. Ever since he had given birth to her and after finding out she was a girl he began to appreciate girls clothes taking his time when picking what to buy for her. After a while of whining and Louis scolding her to stay put Eleanor was finally done and proud of the French braid headband she had braided around Logan's head and after she was dressed in the dress and a black coat they finally made their way to the restaurant taking Louis' car. The restaurant was busy when they arrived and Zayn and Niall were already there waiting for them sitting on a table for six.

 

"Sorry we're late." Louis said taking a seat on the edge of the table with Logan sitting in between Eleanor and himself.

 

"Don't worry Lou, we just got here." Niall smiled.

 

"Well aren't you the cutest girl in this restaurant, wait...the cutest one in England." Zayn teased making her giggle.

 

"Auntie El is pretty too." Logan giggled hiding her face on Louis' side as he instinctively wrapped his arm around her.

 

They ordered their food and began eating making conversation and sometimes laughing whenever Niall would say something funny or at one of Logan's antics while Louis tried to keep her dress clean. He was laughing and looking down at his food but when he looked up and looked across the room it quickly faded away and he felt his chest tightening impossibly tight at the sight in front of him. Harry was sitting across from them eating, smiling, laughing and holding hands with a guy their age with green eyes and short blond hair. 

 

He felt his eyes prickle with burning tears blurring his vision and his chest hurting like never before when Harry reached out and kissed him right on the lips then looked at him with what Louis thought was a lovingly look, a look Harry never gave him and would never do. He looked back down then at his friend's noticing their eyes flickering between Harry and himself and Eleanor quickly wrapped her arm around his shoulders as Louis focused on Logan who was eating her last piece of the chicken without a care in the world.

 

"We're done eating, we should go." Niall suggested motioning a waiter for the check.

 

As soon as they payed Louis quickly scooped up Logan in his arms hiding her face on the crook of his neck to keep her from seeing Harry while he tried to fight the tears away and made his way outside but not before he locked eyes with a surprised Harry who never took his eyes off of him and their daughter while his date was busy asking for the check. Once they were outside Louis cursed trying not to cry because they still had to wait for his car and he just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and all he could think about was Harry kissing him.

 

"Louis." Louis froze when he heard his shaky voice and slowly turned around to see Harry looking at him with his date talking to a man not too far behind him.

 

"Yes?" Louis asked shifting Logan on his hip and found it strange that she had fallen asleep but remembered that she had missed her nap.

 

"How are you? Is she asleep?" Harry asked wanting to reach for her.

 

"Good. Yeah she is." Louis answered then flinched when Logan lifted her head up to see Harry and was just about to reach for him murmuring daddy with a huge smile when his date walked up to them intertwining his hand with Harry's sending a wave of pain through Louis' chest and Logan's smile faded away and went back to hiding her face on Louis' neck clinging to him.

 

"Love bug it's me, it's daddy." Harry said trying to coax her out but she only tightened her grip on Louis and whimpered when Harry touched her with his free hand.

 

"I'm sorry but she doesn't like strangers." Louis took a step back looking at Harry's date.

 

"I'm not a stranger, I'm her dad." Harry let go of his date's hand and moved to stand behind Louis to get a better look at her.

 

"You're not but he is." Louis whispered so only Harry could hear him then moved and walked away from them after Eleanor called for him.

 

Harry watched as Louis walked away from him with Logan wanting to go after them and his chest hurt when Logan looked at him and hid her face on Louis' neck again. It hurt and it hurt a lot because his baby girl had rejected him and had wanted nothing to do with him when she usually clung to him but he quickly began getting angry at the thought that maybe Louis was filling her head with bad things about him, he grabbed Drew's hand and walked away from there as fast as he could wanting to punch everything on his path as Louis drove away tears streaming down his face ignoring Eleanor's worried glances when all he could think about was Harry kissing and holding hands with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1388534235534_zpsbc1880a0.jpg.html)
> 
>  
> 
> http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/PicsArt_1388534235534_zpsbc1880a0.jpg
> 
> Thoughts? :)


	11. I pushed you down deep in my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me and grab a tissue. (I think)

"Harry you need to calm down." Drew insisted after Harry had punched the wall in his kitchen.

 

"He's brainwashing her, he's telling her bad stuff about me and now she doesn't even want to acknowledge me." Harry growled on the verge of tears.

 

"I honestly don't think he's that kind of guy, he seemed harmless to me and I don't think it's right for you to be assuming things about him. I don't think he'll go that low to take her from you." Drew got up hugging Harry from behind.

 

"I told you he hates me Drew, he doesn't want me around Logan." Harry opened and closed his injured hand.

 

"What did you do to make him hate you so much?" Drew asked kissing up and down Harry's neck.

 

Harry immediately froze not really knowing how to answer him, he didn't wanted him to judge him and leave him when they were just starting because of the mistakes from his past. He wanted to tell him why Louis no longer loved him and hated him with a passion but he was too ashamed to tell him the truth so he lied.

 

"I was the biggest ass hole back then and I was horrible to him, he left without telling me he was pregnant and I guess I didn't deserved to know we had a daughter. I honestly don't deserve her." Harry sighed at the end getting out of Drew's grasp to wash the blood away from his knuckles.

 

"As long as he keeps letting you see her you'll be fine and if he refuses you can always claim joint custody." He suggested trying to be helpful.

 

"No, I don't want to and I'm not gonna do that. I'll give her my last name and legally recognize her as my daughter the day Louis allows it." Harry knew that day would never come because Louis would never allow it and even if he wanted custody a judge would never grant her custody to a rapist like himself.

 

"Well I had a great night tonight." Drew mumbled walking up to Harry wrapping his arms around his waist.

 

"Me too, we should do it again." Harry smiled kissing him.

 

He felt wrong kissing him but shrugged it off yet he couldn't stop comparing him to Louis, he couldn't stop thinking that where he should feel curves he could only feel slim hips. He pulled away opening his eyes expecting to see bright blue ones but all he saw were green ones starting back at him.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

"Y-yeah, sorry about that whole punching the wall thing." Harry quickly apologized.

 

"Don't worry about it. I have to go but I'll call you later." Drew smiled kissing Harry one more time before he left.

 

As soon as he was gone Harry went to bed not even bothering to change into a pair of pajamas or even take his clothes off, he thought about calling Louis to ask him what had he done wrong but decided against it getting up to scoop up Buttercup with him on the bed and cuddle with him immediately falling asleep wishing he could fall asleep with Louis and Logan in his arms while Louis cried himself to sleep alone in his own bed. The next day Harry spent the day trying to contact Louis wanting to see their daughter and secretly him too but he never answered driving Harry insane to the point where he too ignored everybody even his mum and Gemma who no doubt would give him shit for it later.

 

*~*

 

Louis covered Logan with a blanket he was sure she hadn't rolled around on the floor with and made sure she was comfortable in the position she was in before he kissed her forehead and left her bedroom closing the door after himself walking to the living room to watch tv to pass time while his daughter took a nap. He looked at his cellphone going through the ten calls he had received from Harry the day before and deleting all his text messages asking if they were okay and if they needed something. Lucky for Louis he didn't had any events scheduled for the week and allowed himself to relax with a cup of tea watching Friends, he had already called Anna asking how her mum was doing and that she didn't needed to come by during the week. He was starting to fall asleep due to the silence surrounding him since he wasn't used to it anymore ever since he became a father. 

 

He smiled remembering the day he brought her home from the hospital and Niall had cleaned up the whole flat muttering about how their princess needed to come home to a clean house and not a pigsty like he had called it. Zayn had picked him up from the hospital while Eleanor was out satisfying her girly needs buying pink blankets, clothes and every thing pink she could find. She had gotten home at the same time they did and together all four of them welcomed Logan into her new home where she spent the first two and a half years of her life while Zayn got everything on video, it wasn't easy for the first few months because none of them especially Louis knew how to take care of a baby on his own without his mum but together they managed.

 

He was brought back from his memory when he heard the doorbell and as soon as he opened the door he tried closing it again when he saw Harry but Harry quickly stuck his foot in to keep him from closing it.

 

"What do you want?" Louis asked trying to calm his nerves down.

 

"I just want to see Logan." And you. Harry quickly said biting his tongue to keep himself from telling Louis he wanted to see him too.

 

"She's asleep, you can see her another day." Louis dismissed him and groaned when Harry didn't even move an inch.

 

"I still want to see her, I promise I'm not gonna wake her up. Please." Harry pleaded then smiled a little when Louis let him in.

 

"You better not wake her up or she'll be cranky all afternoon." Louis warned him.

 

"I know, she's just like you when she's annoyed. Same temper." Harry muttered walking into her room.

 

He quickly but quietly rushed over to her tiny body sprawled on the bed snuggling with Mr. Curls and her thumb in her mouth something Louis had told him to keep her from doing but when she was asleep he didn't had the heart to take it out of her mouth knowing she'll pout for a bit then bring it back in, he knelt down by her bed and watched her for a bit then kissed her forehead whispering an I love you. He fixed her blanket and kissed her one more time before he left the room quietly closing the door after himself then walked towards Louis who was sitting on the couch watching tv and eating popcorn.

 

"She still asleep?" Louis asked him without looking his way.

 

"Yes." Harry snapped making Louis turn to look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

 

"Jeez, calm down Styles. What crawled up your ass and died there." Louis said knowing Harry wouldn't touch a hair in his head like he used to back then whenever Louis talked back to him.

 

"Harry took a deep breath trying to control his anger, "Have you been talking crap about me to Logan?"

 

"Excuse me?" Louis almost yelled getting up to stand in front of Harry.

 

"You're trying to make her hate me, that's why she was scared of me saturday night. I didn't know you could be so low." Harry glared down at Louis trying to control himself and not cry because honestly he didn't know Louis anymore.

 

"First of all don't fucking talk to me like that ever again you understand," Louis stabbed Harry's chest with his finger. "Second, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. I never said anything to her about you."

 

"Don't lie to me, she's my daughter and you're not gonna take her away from me." Harry glared towering over Louis but this time Louis wasn't scared like he used to, he was pissed.

 

"Don't be ridiculous! Nobody's taking her from you, she was scared of that guy you were with." Louis yelled pushing Harry away from him.

 

"He didn't even tried to talk to her, why would she be scared. She likes everybody." Harry spoke.

 

"I don't know, she's usually not like that and I know she likes everybody. I didn't tell her anything." Louis insisted.

 

"I'm sorry...I just...You hate me and I thought...I'm sorry Louis." He looked down unable to meet Louis' gaze ashamed of himself.

 

"I didn't tell her anything even if you deserve it. I'm not like that Harry and you should know that better than anyone, I wouldn't fill her head with nasty things." Louis walked closer to Harry trying to make him look at him.

 

Harry willed the tears away and looked up only to have his breath knocked out of him when he looked straight into Louis' blue eyes only a few inches away from his, they weren't the same cheerful ones anymore they looked clouded with sadness but they were still as beautiful as he remembered them before he ruined them. In that moment Harry didn't know what possessed him but he did it anyways unable to stop and if he had the chance he would do it over and over again and never get tired of it. He softly, slowly, and carefully grabbed Louis' face with the tips of his fingers feeling like if he grabbed too rough Louis would break at any moment then slowly leaned in as his eyes flickered between his blue eyes and his lips. 

 

He slowly and gently captured his lips with his own making Louis gasp because he had finally seen it, he had finally seen that look on Harry's face he had always longed to get except this time it was directed at him. It wasn't anything like he had seen at the restaurant, no, this one was tender and full of love and adoration and at that point Louis only knew one thing. Harry was kissing him and he was kissing him back as he slowly placed his hand on Harry's cheek encouraging Harry to deepen the kiss caressing his cheeks with his thumbs making him shiver. Harry could feel Louis' soft warm lips on his while Louis could feel Harry's rough yet soft and warm ones on his mingling together in what Louis would call their first ever true and proper kiss that was pure in his eyes. 

 

Flashbacks began hitting him like a train, his happy days with Harry when they used to roll down that hill behind their houses laughing the whole way down knowing they would get yelled at by their mothers for staining their clothes with the grass but not caring because they were happy and no one could take that away from them. They began shifting into the horrible ones where Harry would beat him and finally that night and then his entire pregnancy ending with her birth, all of them flashing across his mind in seconds and mustering all the strength he had in him he pushed Harry away as the sound of skin making contact with skin echoed around the room. Harry stared at Louis in shock with a hand wrapped around his now red and stinging cheek watching a crying wide eyed Louis who still had a trembling hand up in the air.

 

"I-I deserved that, I'm sorry." Harry whispered.

 

"Just...please just get out of my life Harry, I can't do this anymore." Louis cried sinking down to the ground bringing his knees up to his chest, all those feelings of wanting to be loved by him and love him coming back stronger than ever making him sob harder unable to stop.

 

Harry began crying watching a broken Louis crying on the ground and once again he was the one to blame because he had been the one to break him in the first place and no matter how hard he tried he was still and would always be hurting him even if he didn't mean it. He knelt down in front of Louis and sobbed harder when right there he made the hardest decision knowing how much he was going to miss them, he knew he would never see or hear from them again but it was for the best and for once in his life he put aside all his feelings and put them first other than himself.

 

"I-I promise you this is the last time you will see or hear from me, I won't hurt you anymore Louis." Harry wiped the tears away.

 

"W-what?" Louis asked looking up at him wearing a confused expression.

 

"I'm leaving...I-I'll leave you alone. I'll get out of your life and never bother you anymore, I won't make you suffer ever again." Harry slowly got up and walked towards the door not noticing Louis was following him until he spoke.

 

"Are you seriously going to leave her? You're not even gonna say goodbye? What makes you think you can just come into her life, tell her you're her father and then leave her like she means nothing to you." Louis glared getting angry at him for thinking he could just come into her life then leave.

 

"She means a lot to me, she's my daughter...our daughter, she's my world and if I go in there again I know I'll never be able to leave her. She'll forget about me soon but I won't, I will always love her with all my heart and she will never leave my mind. I know you hate me, I know you don't love me anymore and I get it, I accepted it that night you told me we could never be together but know that I will always love you, more than you will ever know. Goodbye Angel." Harry opened the door and stepped out closing the door after him not looking back even if it killed him leaving Louis standing alone trying to process everything.

 

Tears escaped his eyes when Harry had used his old nickname for him from when they were friends, the nickname he hadn't called him in six years. "HazzaBear, I still love you..." He whimpered staring at the now empty space where Harry had just been standing.

 

Harry ran all the way to his car and as soon as he was safe inside he cried louder than ever feeling the ache on his heart growing and growing the more he put distance between Louis, their daughter and himself. He drove ignoring Drew's phone calls and his building when he passed it and instead headed to Liam's flat, he needed to talk to someone before it was time for him to go. He parked his car and slowly got out walking slowly to Liam feeling his limbs getting heavier and heavier the more he walked, as soon as Liam opened his door he broke down again throwing himself into his arms as Liam pulled him inside whispering comforting words to try and calm him down.

 

"I-I'll never see them a-again Liam, I'll never get to watch her grow up and I'll never get to make it up to him." He sobbed wrapping his arms around himself.

 

"Harry you need to calm down, breathe...now tell me what happened." Liam sat next to him rubbing his back.

 

"I'm only hurting him if I stay, that's all I ever do even if I don't mean it. It's best if I get out of their lives, act like I haven't seen him ever since he left and pretend I don't know I have a daughter even if it kills me because that's the worst thing I could do but I can't keep hurting him anymore that's why I have to leave Liam." Harry hicupped wiping the tears with his sleeve.

 

"Harry you can't do that, you can't just show up into her life telling her you're her other father then leave like she means nothing to you." Liam tried to reason with him.

 

"She means a lot to me, I would give up my life for her in a heartbeat. Don't you dare say I don't care about her because I do but I just can't keep fucking everything up, I can't keep hurting him. I love him too much to keep doing that and he doesn't want me around, if I go now it will be much easier for her to forget about me. If I leave England it will be much easier for me to resist going back to see them." Harry brought his knees up to his chest.

 

"Where are you gonna go? What about her birthday party? Your family wants to meet her." Liam insisted.

 

"Sydney, Australlia. They can still meet her if Louis wants them around, I'll come back in a week so we can spend my birthday together like I promised." Harry tried to smile but failed when he burst out crying again.

 

"Okay then...I'm gonna miss you." Liam sighed wrapping his arms around Harry.

 

"Could you do me a favor?" 

 

"Anything you want Haz."

 

"Could you-could you take Logan's puppy to her after I leave?" Harry fiddled with his hair.

 

"Of course, what do you want me to tell them?"

 

"Just that he's hers and I couldn't take him away from her and that I'll love her and I'm gonna miss her." He took a shaky breath at the end.

 

As soon as Harry got home he packed a suitcase with enough clothes for a week calling to book an airplane ticket while he did so, once he was done he put Buttercup's stuff in the bag he and Logan had specifically gotten for him then taking one last look at his flat and the pile of toys in the corner of the living room he left locking the door and got on his car driving towards Liam's flat to drop the dog off holding him close to him because at the moment it was the only thing he had of Logan's that soon he will have to leave too. He had called Drew to let him know where he was going and that he'll be back in a week or so just so he wouldn't call during the week, he needed to be alone. He boarded the plane trying not to think about Louis but failing as he tried to find his seat, he gave up trying not to think and two hours later he fell asleep wishing like always that he would've done things differently clutching his phone close to his chest where Logan's picture that he had taken that day during breakfast was lightning up the screen before it went off.

 

*~*

 

Knowing that Harry was finally out of their lives should've had Louis feeling relieved and happy but instead all he felt was emptiness, he could still feel the warmth of Harry's lips against his own now cold ones and couldn't help but let his fingers trace them wanting to feel his lips on his own again. He began wondering whether what Elena, his therapist had told him years back was true because back then when he didn't want to believe it until she made him see even though it was still fresh in his mind and he had been carrying her.

 

He was already seven months pregnant sitting on the couch in his therapists office with Niall waiting outside for him to take him to a doctor's appointment to check on the baby right after he was done with his session.

 

"How are you and the baby doing?" Eleanor quietly asked Louis who had his gaze down rubbing small circles on the top of of his mountain of a belly with his right thumb.

 

"We're good...it moves every time I rub my belly." Louis answered avoiding eye contact with her.

 

"Are you excited to hold him or her?" She asked.

 

"Not really...I mean...sometimes I do and sometimes I don't." He answered wincing a little rubbing the spot where his baby had kicked him quite hard as if his words had hurt its feelings.

 

"And why is that?" Elena asked wanting him to let it all out.

 

"You know why! This fucking thing wasn't exactly conceived in a good way, I didn't asked for it." Louis snapped getting tired of her bullshit questions and immediately began regretting calling his baby a fucking thing.

 

Elena sighed observing the way Louis wrapped his arms around himself to keep himself from falling apart then his hands hovered over his swollen belly trying to decide whether it was a good idea to touch it or not then after thinking it through for a few seconds he finally spread his hands over it smiling.

 

"Are you still having those dreams?"

 

"Yes but they're not the same, it used to be what happened that night but now it's him stealing my baby and I always try to go after him and get my baby back but I never catch him. He-he tells me he loves me and I tell him that I do too but then he takes my baby, Zayn thinks I'm dreaming that because I'm closer to my due date." Louis explained grabbing one of the couch pillows to hide his belly from Elena's view.

 

"How do you feel about him after you wake up?" Elena asked glancing at the clock finding out she had ten minutes left with him.

 

"How is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time?" Louis asked finally making eye contact with her.

 

"Louis...do you hate him or do you hate what he did to you?" She asked putting her notebook down watching Louis chewing on his bottom lip.

 

Louis remembered thinking about it long and hard, it took him seven minutes to get his answer and when he figured it out he looked up at her tightening his arms around his belly and answered. He answered as honestly as he could and four years later now he was wondering why had he gone back to feeling like before, thinking like before that day when she helped him realize how he really felt.

 

"...I hate what he did to me." Louis whispered letting a single tear fall.

 

Taking a deep breath Louis decided to put everything aside and try to at least tolerate Harry, stop with everything like his said hate for him when he really did not hated him at all for Logan's sake. He still wasn't ready to forgive him but the past was the past, he wanted to call Harry but decided against it since he was sure Harry would never leave their daughter behind and decided to call him the next day. He was still deep in thought sitting on the couch he didn't noticed Logan walking out of her room until she crawled on his lap getting under the blanket wrapping her arms around his torso holding onto his shirt with her hands when she couldn't reach around him resting her head on his chest sighing in contempt.

 

Louis immediately wrapped his arms around her kissing her forehead cradling her close to him just like when she was a baby and he would sit down on the couch with her watching tv just the two of them. He brushed her hair with his fingers smiling down at her when she yawned and began playing with a loose thread of his old t-shirt then set her tiny hand on his cheek looking up at him like he was her world.

 

"Love you daddy." She smiled snuggling closer to Louis.

 

"I love you too sweetheart, Daddy will always love you no matter what." Louis smiled bringing his knees up laying down on his side with Logan in his arms watching cartoons.

 

The next day Louis could hear Rapunzel and Flynn singing from the tv in the living room while he was in the kitchen making lunch and trying to call Harry but failing when it went to voicemail every time. He had tried one more time when he decided it was enough and he would call later after Logan was done eating after she had been the one to ask where her daddy curly and Buttercup were and that she needed to cuddle and play with them because she hadn't in a very long time. He had just put some macaroni and cheese on two plates when Logan walked in dragging her blanket behind her hugging Mr. Curls close to her.

 

"Daddy, is daddy curly coming?" She asked looking up at him while sucking on her thumb.

 

Louis bent down and slowly took her thumb out of her mouth wanting to make her get rid of that habit before he spoke, "I don't know baby but we'll call him again later okay."

 

"Why not now?" She smiled bringing her thumb back in her mouth and Louis just gave up for the day.

 

"Because I just called him and he didn't answered, he's probably at work." Louis explained fixing one of her braids that was starting to get loose.

 

"One more time daddy, please." Logan pleaded grabbing Louis' cheeks with her sticky hands pinching them with her fingers.

 

"Okay." Louis smiled reaching out to grab his phone from the counter calling Harry right in front of her, he kissed her cheek and she wrapped her arms around his neck while he waited to see if Harry would pick up this time but frowned at what he heard.

 

"We're sorry, the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected and is no longer in service." Came the woman's voice through the speaker and Louis hung up then called again only to receive the same message. 

 

He felt numb and cold all over, all he could hear was a tiny voice echoing around his head until it became clear and clearer and he looked down to see Logan pulling on his sweater chanting daddy over and over to get his attention. He forced a smile and set his phone down on the counter then picked her up along with the plate of food and walked over to the table putting both of them down grabbing a wet wipe to wipe Logan's hands then she began eating with her fingers, Louis ignoring it as millions of thoughts raced through his head. He grabbed his phone and rushed to his room closing the door after him and sat down on the bed calling Harry receiving the same message over and over again as the tears began to flood his eyes, all he wanted was to hear his stupid voice answering the damn phone but instead the same woman would and he was starting to hate her.

 

He slowly got up and walked back to the kitchen sitting down next to Logan eating his food without a word, Harry was gone. He jumped a bit at the sound of the doorbell and soon after he could hear a puppy baking and Logan screaming daddy curly at the top of her lungs getting off of her chair as fast as she could running towards the door. Louis walked towards the door to see Logan jumping up and down trying to reach for the handle to open the door as he took deep breaths walking closer deciding that they needed to talk, he was nervous because of what had happened the night before and relieved that Harry was on the other side of the door and hadn't left and had probably gotten a new phone but once he opened the door he only faced disappointment.

 

"Unca Leeyum!" Logan smiled hugging his leg then trying to reach for Buttercup and Liam quickly gave him to her and watched as she ran back inside with the dog following after her.

 

"Hi." Liam gave Louis a sad smile.

 

"Hi...come in." Louis moved to let him in then closed the door turning around to face him.

 

"I just came to drop him off."

 

"Why? I thought he was supposed to stay with Harry. Is he okay, is there something wrong? Liam where's Harry?" Louis asked beginning to panic thinking of the millions of scenarios where Harry had gotten into an accident last night or done what he said he would as he eyed the bag Liam was holding.

 

"He's gone Louis, he left the country last night and asked me if I could bring Buttercup to Logan. He said he's hers and couldn't take him away from her." Liam explained looking at Louis' expresionless face.

 

"Unca Leeyum, where's daddy curly?" Logan asked pulling on Liam's pants.

 

Liam bent down and played with one of her braids as he racked his brain for something to tell her. "Daddy curly had to go away but he told me to tell you that he loves you so so much and he's gonna miss you so much, that he'll never forget you. He also said that if daddy Louis says yes then Buttercup can live with you now." Liam tried to smile poking her belly to make her smile but she didn't.

 

"When's he coming back?" She asked placing her hands on his shoulders.

 

"I don't know marshmallow, I don't know when he's coming back here." Liam looked at her then at Louis, she smiled a little and went back to the living room where they could hear her cooing at Buttercup that daddy was coming back to get him.

 

"He's not coming back is he?" Louis quietly asked trying to keep his voice from trembling.

 

"He doesn't want to hurt you anymore, last night he decided to leave and today I tried calling him but I think he disconnected his phone. This is the dog's stuff." Liam gave Louis the bag.

 

"Do you know where he is, is he gonna comeback?" Louis desperately asked surprising himself and Liam at his desperation.

 

"Australia...he'll be back in a week." Louis felt relieved at hearing those words but what Liam said next broke his heart all over again. "Last thing he said when I dropped him off at the airport was that he's coming but only to pack his stuff and sell his flat...he's moving to Australia Louis." He looked down at his shoes.

 

"He can't move! What about his kid, does he even care about her? I know I said I wanted him out of my life but I was just upset, I didn't wanted him to leave much less move." Louis snapped trying not to cry.

 

"Of course he cares about her and you, she's his world. You should've seen him when he told me he was leaving, he thinks it's for the best. He loves you both and doesn't want to hurt you anymore, it hurts him to be away from her and you but he said he was done hurting you...said he couldn't do it anymore." Liam explained.

 

"When he comes back...could you-could you call me and let me know? Please?" Louis mumbled.

 

"Yeah. I have to go but I'll call you when he gets back." Liam smiled texting himself on Louis' phone he had given him then walked towards the door leaving.

 

Louis stood there for a few seconds then went to check on Logan who was in the kitchen finishing her food, he sat down next to her and continued eating his own food in complete silence as the thought that he had driven Harry away and had taken his daughter's curly plagued his mind. He chewed his food knowing there was no way he was going to let him get away, he was stuck with them now and he was going to make him stay no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: So I thought about writing like a prequel one shot based on Louis and Harry's friendship before it all went to hell and another one that focuses on both of their lives while Louis was pregnant but I'm gonna write them once I complete the story. :)
> 
> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_inline_mqf8iaKrCu1qz4rgp_zps1b32556f.gif.html)
> 
> I don't even know if the gif fits the chapter. Lol
> 
> Thoughts?


	12. They say it's what you make I say it's up to fate

Two days had passed and Logan wouldn't stop asking for Harry even though Louis always managed to change the subject and distract her but not before telling her that he was going to make him come back but it always went back to the same 'where's daddy curly?' and honestly it was starting to frustrate Louis. He was sitting on the couch with his three friends after he had told them everything when Logan came in running from her room followed by Buttercup and stopped in front of Louis placing her small childish hands on his thighs supporting her body weight on them while Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor watched them with curiosity.

 

"When's daddy curly coming back, where is he? Me and baby miss him." Logan asked referring to her puppy as her baby as she tightened her grip on his thighs.

 

"He's not coming back." Louis simply said crossing his arms over his chest surprising the three other adults.

 

"Yes he is...You said he is daddy." Logan whimpered as her eyes filled with tears that quickly rolled down her chubby cheeks.

 

"He's not." Louis argued just wanting her to stop asking once and for all because he himself wasn't sure if Harry would come back even after talking to him and the guilt of taking him away from her and keeping him from watching her grow up kept growing and growing every time she asked for him.

 

"Yes he is!" She screamed lifting her little hand up into the air then brought it back down hitting one of his thighs as hard as she could while crying.

 

He doesn't even know how it happened but suddenly he had his hands around her shoulders shaking her back and forth as her cries and Buttercup's barks got louder pulling on his jeans with his small teeth, he could feel the tears streaming down his cheeks but all he could feel was a deep anger running through his body. He was angry at himself for making him leave and angry at him for leaving them when he thought he would never do that.

 

"He's not, he's never coming back. He left us-you, your father left you. Stop crying dammit!" Louis shouted then she was snatched out of his grip and he could see an angry Zayn picking her up and hugging her tight against his chest while she sobbed trying to catch her breath.

 

"Louis calm down." Niall almost shouted grabbing both of his wrists pushing him back on the couch.

 

"Louis...What...." Eleanor whimpered looking back and forth between father and daughter because he had never acted that way towards her.

 

"What is wrong with you!? It's not her fault...none of this is her fault." Zayn hissed trying to calm her down feeling her tears landing on the crook of his neck then rolling down to his collarbones.

 

Louis' eyes widened after he had calmed down and tears started flooding his cheeks even more staring at Zayn rubbing her back whispering words to her he couldn't hear, he had done something he swore he would never do. He had made her cry and raised his voice when she had nothing to do with his differences with Harry. He looked at Niall then at Eleanor who was crying and finally at Zayn who was looking at him with a concerned expression, taking a deep breath he slowly got up and reached for her wanting to hold her and comfort her himself even if he had been the one to make her cry like that. Zayn sighed but gave her to him and Louis' heart broke when she whimpered holding onto Zayn tighter when she felt his hands around her, he finally had her in his arms and quickly made a beeline for his room closing the door sitting down on his bed with her on his lap.

 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby I'm sorry. Daddy curly's coming back here, I promise. I'll make him comeback...please don't cry, please don't cry." Louis hugged her close rocking her back and forth peppering her face with kisses wiping her tears away with his thumbs and he noticed he was still crying when she pecked his nose and began wiping his tears away too.

 

He kissed her one more time than laid down on the bed pulling her on top of his chest hugging her tightly rubbing her small back and humming a lullaby until she calmed down and fell asleep. After what had happened there was no way he was gonna let Harry go and forget about their daughter, he was going to get him to stay no matter what because he was stuck with her and himself included whether he liked it or not even if all they could ever be were two people who were civil enough with each other for the sake of their child. He pecked the top of her head and slowly rolled to his side and got up putting a blanket over her and left his room going back to the living room where they were still waiting for him and he couldn't help but notice the looks Zayn was giving him.

 

"I know, I'm an ass hole." He mumbled sitting down tucking his legs under his bum.

 

"What was that?" Zayn asked surprising Louis at how calm he was.

 

"It's just that she's been asking non-stop for him and I don't know what to tell her anymore, he left her because of me and I just didn't know what to tell her anymore. I can't exactly tell her 'oh, daddy and I kissed and I freaked out so I told him to leave and never come back' I can't do that. I don't care what I have to do but he's not moving to Australia." Louis said determined to not let him get away.

 

"I could help you." Eleanor spoke for the first time.

 

"How?" Louis asked.

 

"I know his birthday's coming up, do you guys still have all those videos of Logan because we're gonna need them and know that I'm only doing this for her." Eleanor raised an eyebrow.

 

"They're in my safe box along with Niall's." Zayn admitted and blushed when everyone laughed.

 

"What? They're precious and you guys better not ruin them, I'm gonna make a video with all of them and show it at her wedding. Oh and Louis don't worry, I'll give you the copies you asked for." Zayn sighed.

 

"Finally...I asked a year ago." Louis muttered.

 

"I think you should gather all her baby pictures you might want him to have, her pictures always work wonders and it will also show him you want him in her life permanently." Niall suggested.

 

Zayn and Eleanor drove back to their flats and came back with all the videos they had of her while Niall helped Louis bring his own out and look for pictures of her to give to Harry. It was late when they finished but they finished nonetheless and hugging each other goodbye they left leaving Louis alone as he went to bed bringing Logan and Buttercup close to him. The next day Louis woke up expecting Logan to wake up asking for Harry but she never did and he shrugged it off thinking she was just distracted with Buttercup who he was already very fond of. By the time he had put Logan to bed he went to bed knowing she never asked for him once throughout the whole day wondering if it was his fault but ignored it since she was going to see him in two days, that's if Liam even called him by the time Harry was back.

 

Friday night Louis was a nervous mess and the fact that Logan kept climbing all over him, clinging to him then running everywhere wasn't helping at all, he loved her to death but sometimes he just needed her to take a break and sit down. 

 

"Logan Hunter please stop running, you're gonna fall and...see? What did I tell ya?" Louis sighed getting up to pick up a crying Logan from the floor as she held onto her knee crying louder when Louis lifted her up.

 

"Where does it hurt love?" Louis asked sitting back down on the couch checking her face, back, arms and legs placing them on either side of his thighs so he could check for injuries and comfort her better.

 

"Here!" She wailed holding onto her knee keeping Louis from touching it when he tried to look at it.

 

"Let me see, baby I can't see if you don't move your hand." He moved her hands to see a small patch of red skin figuring out she just had burned it and given herself a rash with the rug, he blew a little bit of air into it then kissed it okay. 

 

"See? All better love, it's okay." Louis soothed her hugging her close to his chest running his fingers through her thick messy curls.

 

"Daddy down." She wiggled out of Louis' arms to go back with her puppy and as soon as she was down she ran and plopped down near her box of toys playing with him.

 

"Logan? Do you wanna see daddy curly?" Louis asked trying to prepare her to see him again.

 

"No. It's 'arry not daddy, he went bye bye." She shrugged picking up a baby doll then put it back down after losing interest on it.

 

Louis frowned and was about to say something to her when his phone vibrated and he answered it without checking who it was when he was still looking at Logan trying not to feel guilty at the thought that she wasn't calling him daddy anymore but by his name.

 

"Hello?" 

 

"Louis it's Liam. I was just calling you to let you know that Harry's flight will land at around six in the morning and we're gonna have a get together for his birthday at his flat at around six tomorrow night, you should ask Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor to come too. It'll just be him and I...that's how he wanted it but this is your chance to talk to him." Liam quickly said taking a deep breath at the end.

 

"He called you? I-I thought he disconnected his cellphone." Louis stuttered.

 

"He called me from the airport last night, said something about getting a new phone once he's back because he dropped his old one in the water and had to disconnect it." Liam said making Louis feel better knowing Harry never disconnected his phone just to avoid them.

 

"Are you sure it's okay if we go, what if he gets mad?" Louis nervously asked following Logan with his eyes as she walked around the living room taking her pants off.

 

"I'm sure he won't...He misses her you know. He misses you too and I told him I had a surprise for him so I know he won't be mad." Liam assured him.

 

"Okay then...I'll see you there and thanks for calling me." Louis said and hung up after Liam did then called his three friends to ask them which Eleanor quickly accepted as well as Niall except Zayn who put up a fight but at the end Louis managed to convince him.

 

"Baby, time for your bath." Louis announced getting up to get her bath ready.

 

She quickly ran to her bathroom and took the rest of her clothes off with Louis' help since he had to unbutton a few buttons on the back of her shirt and shivered for a bit once she was in the water but it quickly went away as soon as she started playing with her toys ignoring the small yellow rubber duck like always. While he cleaned her hair he wondered if going to Harry's flat and giving him what they had made for his birthday was even a good idea but it quickly faded away when he realized it wasn't about him anymore but about Logan. He wanted her to grow up knowing who her other father was, knowing Harry and having him in her life in a proper father-daughter relationship. He quickly washed her body and rinsed all the soap off of her when she began shivering again then wrapped her up in her towel walking out of the bathroom almost tripping over Buttercup who had developed the habit of following around anyone who had Logan in their arms.

 

"Daddy I'm sleepy." Logan yawned resting her head against Louis' stomach closing her eyes while he tried to untangle her hair without pulling too much.

 

"Just a little bit more, I'm almost done then you can sleep." Louis mumbled.

 

Soon enough after she was dressed she had fallen asleep without her bedtime story and Louis only kissed her goodnight mumbling a quiet sleep tight to Buttercup who had fallen asleep by Logan's feet. He went to bed after showering and woke up again feeling like he had only slept for a few minutes but when he looked at the clock it was already six in the morning and began to feel nervous knowing that Harry was probably already back in his flat trying to decide what to pack first making his chest feel a little bit tight. He turned around to his other side facing the door to get more comfortable letting out a gasp when he saw Logan standing by his bed barely holding Buttercup and Mr. Curls letting out tiny yawns trying to keep her eyes open waiting for Louis to notice her.

 

"Love why aren't you in your bed?" Louis groggily asked reaching for the dog putting him on the bed then picked her up and set her on his lap as he accommodated himself into a sitting position against the headboard.

 

"I sleep with you daddy." Logan yawned snuggling closer to Louis.

 

"Okay then." Louis smiled moving around to lay down again with her in his arms.

 

"Is 'arry never coming back daddy?" She asked startling him with her loud voice."

 

"Yes. We're gonna go see daddy curly later today with your uncles and auntie El." Louis answered not bothering to open his eyes.

 

"Daddy why? 'Arry went bye bye." Logan insisted poking Louis' cheek.

 

"Daddy curly went bye bye but he's back now and it's his birthday today. Don't you wanna sing happy birthday to him?" Louis asked moving a sleeping puppy from his pillow putting him in the other.

 

"Yess, I color a pretty picture for him okay."

 

"All the pretty pictures you want sweetheart." Louis yawned.

 

The next time he woke up again it was almost nine finding Logan sitting next to him coloring a picture of Woody and Buzz Lightyear from the coloring book that had Harry's name on it and his eyes widened when he saw his white sheets stained with different colors from her crayons littering the bed. He wanted to scold her but couldn't when she gave him a toothy grin and proudly told him she was coloring a pretty picture for her Harry. He stayed in bed with her helping her color by giving her the correct crayons telling her what color they were then watched her wearing a tiny smile as she tried to write 'From Logan to daddy curly' copying it from a separate sheet of paper where Louis had written it down for her and smiled wider when he saw she had gotten some of the letters kinda right but the rest were just squiggly lines that made no sense at all but the message was still there.

 

"Do you want pancakes for breakfast?" Louis asked her as she tried to write 'happy birthday' poking her little tongue out furrowing her brows in concentration.

 

"Yes....please and thank you daddy." She quickly said writing the last squiggly line then smiled widely showing the picture to Louis.

 

"That's a beautiful picture love, I'm sure daddy curly's gonna love it." Louis smiled picking her and the dog up taking them to the kitchen where she quickly put the picture down on the countertop to keep it safe.

 

He put The Incredibles on DVD and while she watched the movie he busied himself with mixing the batter then making the pancakes trying to keep them from burning as he often did when he had too much on his mind and after he was done they sat down to eat them as Logan babbled about her picture to Harry and how she was going to sing to him the happy birthday song. The days passed by quickly and before he knew he was ready and trying to wrestle Logan into a pair of warm leggings she claimed made her legs itchy until Louis got his way and soon enough she was sitting on her bed with her legs under her bum pouting angrily as Louis fixed her curls putting on a light pink bow without her noticing because she simply hated them on her head but loved to do everyone else's hair with them. He had just helped her out put on her boots and her coat when he heard the doorbell then Zayn shouting it was open before he rushed over to Logan to give her a big kiss and compliment her. Niall and Eleanor walked in behind him each holding a small present to give to Harry not wanting to be disrespectful and Louis noticed Zayn's name on the tag of Niall's present figuring out Niall must've put it there.

 

"You ready Lou?" Eleanor asked grabbing the small package containing Harry's gift while Logan had her picture on her small hands not taking her eyes off of it in fear of losing it or something.

 

"Yeah...let's go." Louis took a deep breath putting his coat on and moving to grab Logan's hand but ended up carrying her when she refused to let go of the picture.

 

They piled up in Louis' car and stayed silent through out the ride with the occasional giggles from Logan when Zayn kept poking her stomach then her cheeks until they got bored and decided to sing You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story as loud as they could with Eleanor joining in halfway through the song. Louis found a parking spot and took the package from Eleanor while Zayn unblocked Logan and placed her on his hip, as soon as they were outside Harry's flat Louis' heart was beating fast against his chest and his hands were sweaty. He smiled when Logan sighed loudly and began knocking on the door when she figured out no one was gonna do it and kept knocking until Liam opened the door and smiled widely at her then at the four adults.

 

"Unca Leeyum look what I did for my 'arry!" She smiled trying to show him the picture.

 

"That's a beautiful picture marshmallow." Liam praised taking her from Zayn who had a hard time giving her to him wondering if it was okay then did when she eagerly went to him.

 

"It's nice to see you all again and thanks for coming, come in. Harry's still getting ready please take a seat." Liam smiled as Niall, Zayn and Eleanor looked around and Louis' chest tightened when he saw that half the picture that used to be on his walls were now in a box in the corner of the living room waiting to be packed up next to the toys Harry had gotten for their daughter so she could have her own toys to play with whenever she would come over.

 

"Li, who was it at the door? Is Drew already here, he said he was running a little bit late." Harry asked walking in buttoning his shirt up while Louis felt annoyed at Harry for contacting him and not them, Harry froze and his eyes were wide as saucers when he saw them sitting in his living room and his little girl he had missed so much during on Liam's lap holding a piece of paper in her hands.

 

"Surprise!" Both Liam and Logan shouted holding their arms up in the air.

 

"What-what are you guys doing here?" Harry asked fighting the urge to hold Logan and Louis close to him and never let them go.

 

"I invited them Harry and they all have something for you, c'mon marshmallow give daddy curly what you did for him." Liam encouraged her setting her down on her feet pushing her a little towards Harry.

 

Logan unsure of what to do looked at Louis who smiled and nodded to her to go on, she shyly began walking to him as he bent down eyeing her with a tiny smile then the paper she was tightly holding leaving small crinkles behind. She gave the paper to Harry who immediately took it and looked at it as his eyes quickly filled with unshed tears taking in the messy letters and squiggly lines loving every single one of them and just the picture in general and cleared his throat before speaking willing that lump in his throat to go away.

 

"You made this for me love bug?" Harry asked then hugged her after she nodded standing up to his full height with her in his arms.

 

Everyone but Louis looked away starting their own conversation to give them privacy and Louis watched Harry's bottom lip tremble before he let the millions of tears fall down his cheeks rocking her from side to side whispering things to her. He looked away to keep himself from crying when he realized how much he really did love her and missed her by the way he was holding her as if she was his lifeline and Harry knew that if he let go he would disappear never to be seen again into a world of darkness where he had spent the last six years of his life and was still trying to get out of it hating himself but only managing to feel better when holding the only person who had never judged him because of what he had done but how could she if she was just an innocent. Louis looked back at him to find him starting at him with red rimmed eyes never taking them off of him when he sat down on the couch in front of everybody else with her on his lap carefully holding the picture Logan had given him.

 

"I hope you don't mind us being here, Liam invited us and we brought you a little something." Niall spoke motioning for the presents Louis, Eleanor and himself were holding.

 

"I don't mind at all, thank you for coming." Harry tried to smile knowing that in less than two weeks he'll be living in Australia.

 

"Could I talk to you somewhere private?" Louis asked as nobody except Harry paid him attention knowing why he was there in the first place.

 

"Yeah...is my room okay?" Harry awkwardly asked getting up with Logan in his arms.

 

"Yeah."

 

"Sweetheart why don't you go play with your toys while daddy and I talk okay." Harry kissed her cheek as she nodded then set her down watching her run to her box of toys then motioned for Louis to follow him.

 

He walked to his room letting Louis in first then decided to leave the door open for Louis' sake but was surprised when he closed and locked the door then moved to stand in front of him looking nervous. 

 

"Liam told me you're moving to Australia." Louis stated looking at Harry.

 

"Yeah...in two weeks."

 

"Don't-don't leave Harry. Are you leaving because I told you to get out of my life?" Louis asked trying not to cry, he just wanted him to confirm what he already knew.

 

"It's for the best Louis. I don't want to leave Logan or you but I'm doing this for you, I hate myself for hurting you and I don't want to keep doing that. I'm done Louis." Harry said looking tired messing with his hair and chewing on his bottom lip.

 

"You can't just leave her like that, she needs you and please don't get this the wrong way but you were the one trying to be a part of her life and you're stuck with her...And me whether you like it or not." Louis said almost desperate for him to say he'll stay.

 

"Louis...." Harry sighed.

 

"I don't hate you okay...I hate what you did to me but I don't hate you, you were my best friend and I could never hate you. If I said I did was because I was hurt and angry, I was angry at you for treating me the way you did. I'm not ready to forgive you yet and honestly I don't know if I ever will but please don't leave her, we can work it out...I'm willing to try if you are." Louis teared up and closed his eyes biting on his bottom lip feeling Harry's thumbs wiping away a few tears that had managed to escape.

 

"Are you sure this is what you want? Because once you say yes there's no way I'm getting out of your life and hers if you change your mind, I won't ever leave you and her if you say yes." Harry whispered rubbing Louis' left cheek with his thumb resisting the urge to kiss him again.

 

"Yeah, I am sure." Louis nodded opening his eyes wanting to move his head a few inches and kiss him but before he could Harry took a step backwards.

 

"I'm not going anywhere...I-I'll stay, thank you for giving me another chance. I promise you won't regret it." Harry smiled a little.

 

"Good, I made something for you...well Niall, Zayn, and Eleanor helped me. I'll give it to you later." Louis smiled and reached for the door just as the doorbell started ringing.

 

"That must be Drew..." Harry awkwardly mumbled just as Louis came face to face with Harry's boyfriend and couldn't help but grin when he saw his wide eyes and confused looks he was given them taking in Harry's disheveled hair from pulling too much while they were talking and their swollen lips from biting on them too much as well as their flushed faces.

 

"Harry...sorry I'm late." Drew smiled pecking Harry on the lips taking him by surprise missing the hurt flash across Louis' face as he looked away.

 

"Uh...Louis this is Drew my-my boyfriend, Drew this is Louis." Harry awkwardly introduced them.

 

"Nice to finally meet you." Louis faked a smile shaking his hand.

 

"Nice to meet you too." He smiled moving next to Harry wrapping an arm around his waist.

 

Louis moved to stand next to Liam taking Logan from him as soon as she reached for him and immediately hid her face on his neck while he rubbed her back knowing it made her feel safe when he did that. Harry ended up introducing everyone as Liam whispered to Louis he didn't know Drew would be showing up then apologized until Louis told him it was okay. No matter how many times Louis and Harry tried to get Logan to come out she only clung tighter to Louis and caught Harry's jacket into a death grip forcing him to stand next to Louis and every time Drew would talk to her trying to make nice with his boyfriend's daughter she would pull Harry closer to them and stare at Drew with wide eyes. She finally let go of them when Louis told her she needed to eat and because Drew had dragged Harry to sit with him on the opposite side of the table.

 

"Unca Zayn down please." Logan pulled on his sleeve.

 

"Oh, sure cupcake." Zayn smiled then watched with an amused look at how she stared at Harry then narrowed her eyes just like Louis then pouted furrowing her eyebrows when she saw Drew hugging Harry then knew what was coming when she walked up to Harry.

 

"Daddyyyyy." Logan whined pulling on Harry's jacket rather forcefully until he let go of Drew and turned around picking her up and peppering her face with kisses setting her on his lap facing him.

 

"I missed you love bug." Harry smiled wrapping his arms around her.

 

"I missed you too," Logan wiggled around until she was right in between them separating them then clung to Harry like a koala. "Mine." Logan claimed Harry looking at Drew then Zayn and Eleanor burst out laughing followed by Liam then Niall.

 

"So how long did you two dated?" Drew asked Louis and Harry taking his eyes off of Logan.

 

"Uhh...." Harry stuttered observing how Zayn glared at Drew.

 

"Two years." Louis lied knowing he was trying to make him uncomfortable.

 

"Oh..." Drew said not expecting it at all.

 

"Time for Harry to open his presents. Marshmallow's present first, here you go Haz." Liam quickly said after everyone had gone silent staring at Louis then at Harry.

 

Louis watched with a tiny smile as Harry turned the picture around trying to figure out what the squiggly lines meant until he told him and Harry only smiled wider giving her thank you's and saying how much he loved it then got up with her in his arms to put it on the fridge with a few magnets with her help telling her it deserved to be there and now his bare stainless steel fridge had a picture in the middle of it in comparison to the hundreds Louis had on his own and her walls in her room. After he had opened Liam's, Eleanor's and the present from both Zayn and Niall and he had thanked them multiple times Drew immediately gave him his just as Louis was about to making him feel like his was shitty compared to Drew's when it turned out to be a brand new camera.

 

He almost didn't give him his but did anyways when Eleanor elbowed him and Zayn pinched him silently hissing that his daughter's baby pictures and videos were more valuable to Harry than a fucking camera and he gave it to him watching as he brightened and opened it wearing the biggest smile. Harry eyes began watering when he saw Logan's baby pictures and the DVD and without really thinking he ran up to Louis and wrapped his arms around his waist taking Louis by surprise as he slowly wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders ready to fight away all those memories but was left surprised when they never came.

 

"Thank you, I-I love it. What's on the DVD?" Harry asked holding them close to his chest forgetting all about Drew's present he had been excited for.

 

Just as Louis was about to answer he was interrupted by a cellphone then Drew quickly excusing himself then came back telling Harry he had to go then left after kissing him right next to Louis frowning when Harry gently pushed him off of him motioning that there was a child in the room then he waved to everyone else. They all went back to having a conversation while Logan sat on Zayn's lap eating cake and Eleanor kept wiping off the frosting from around her mouth and the tip of her nose while Louis and Harry stood a few feet away in complete silence.

 

"The DVD...they're just videos of Logan that we all had laying around and I figured if you're gonna be around then why not let you see them. It was Eleanor's idea and honestly most of the videos are from Zayn's collection, he literally recorded every single moment of her life." Louis chuckled remembering how since Logan had been born he always had his phone out recording her.

 

"I-I honestly don't know what to say, thank you...this is the best present, yours and Logan's." Harry smiled.

 

"Don't mind us there, just focus on her and ignore us okay." Louis nervously said fiddling with his hands.

 

"Why?" Harry asked smiling when Louis began blushing.

 

"Just don't look at us and focus on Logan." Louis insisted.

 

"But I wanna know why, I'll focus on you four if you don't tell me." Harry smiled wider when Louis sighed in annoyance just like when they were kids and he would annoy the hell out of Louis.

 

"Eleanor sneaked in a video of hers from before Logan was born, I was eight months along so just skip it. I look hideous and fat." Louis huffed.

 

"Yeah okay, I'll skip it, don't worry about it." Harry quickly said.

 

"Aren't you gonna watch it now?" Louis asked hoping to get his hands on Harry's DVD player or laptop to skip that part himself.

 

"Nope, I'll watch it later. Right now I wanna spend time with Logan, I haven't seen her in a week." Harry said then walked up to Logan with Louis following behind.

 

Logan was passed from arms to arms between all six adults until it was time to go and Louis just knew Harry was going to see the whole video anyways and decided to ignore it and as he kissed Logan goodnight he wondered if Harry was already watching it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1388075326593_zpsc73d2f81.jpg.html)   
> 
> 
> Direct link for better view:   
> http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/PicsArt_1388075326593_zpsc73d2f81.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> Youdrivebritcrazy asked if I ever thought about having Louis paint again and I said yeah. Like I told her, there's a bigger reason as to why Louis never picked up a brush again and it will be revealed chapter fifteen. Oh and I know one of the babies is Lux but just go along with it. :)
> 
> Thoughts?


	13. Let's paint the picture of the perfect place

Thank you so much to the wonderful [allymets5](../../../../users/allymets5/pseuds/allymets5) for making the trailer for the book! She has amazing stories you guys should check them out. Thank you lovely! :)

 

[Ghost Of You Trailer](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7VJR5YcKig&feature=youtu.be)

 

Harry showered after Liam had gone home then settled down on the couch with his laptop on his lap trying to make the video play faster but ended up waiting for it to load drumming his fingers on his lap. He immediately pressed play anxiously waiting for it to start and almost forgot how to breathe when it did. All he could see was a hallway of what he assumed was the flat they used to live in then Niall's face telling Eleanor who had the camera to be quiet. He noticed the date and time on the bottom right corner as january the third two thousand and ten at six forty pm realizing Louis was still pregnant by that time. His eyes began to fill with tears as soon as he saw a heavily pregnant Louis wearing a big sweater, sweatpants and a beanie covering half of his head standing next to the couch going through tiny white baby clothes with Zayn as he tried to convince Louis to just go ahead and find out the sex of the baby because all white clothes were hideous and not cheerful at all and did he really expected them to stay white.

 

Harry honestly had no idea why Louis had said he looked hideous when to him he looked as gorgeous as ever and had a certain glow that Harry immediately fell in love with and made his chest hurt knowing he had missed everything. He reached to touch the screen with his thumb where Louis' stomach was just as Louis wrapped his hand around it making his hand look smaller compared to his well rounded belly.

 

"I'm serious Louis! Why can't you just go and find out what you're having? These clothes are of a hideous color and how am I supposed to know what color I'm gonna buy the new clothes if I don't know if it's a boy or a girl? I don't want the baby to own only white clothes." Zayn whined pulling on Louis' arm messing up the tiny white onesie he had just folded.

 

"Zayn...You already went through five months without knowing, one more is nothing and you messed it up! Do you know how hard it is to fold them." Louis groaned resting the onesie on the top of his stomach to try and fold it again.

 

"No...You forced this upon me, I told you Dr. Lane could have just told me but you didn't even let her. Louis I need to know or I'm gonna die. Please!" Zayn kept pestering him making Harry smile at the way Louis rolled his eyes and Zayn's insistence in knowing.

 

"No, we're gonna wait until the baby's bo-El what are you doing?" Louis asked looking straight at the camera.

 

"Nothing, go back to folding the munchkins clothes. You still have a few and Zayn isn't helping at all." Eleanor giggled along with Niall.

 

"I am helping, I folded two." Zayn grinned.

 

"You folded two out of a pile of eleven." Niall stated.

 

"Are you seriously recording this? Eleanor Jane Calder I look like a whale, stop it!" Louis exclaimed throwing a couch pillow at her.

 

"Ow! Fine I'll stop you grumpy pants." Eleanor said before the screen went black.

 

Harry waited until the screen lit up again focusing on Zayn's face and Harry's smiled bigger when he figured out where they were and what that meant but his smile faded remembering where he had been and in what circumstances.

 

"Hi Logan, it's your favorite uncle Zayn. Today's February fourteen two thousand and ten and its around noon, you're exactly eleven hours old baby. Happy birthday cupcake! Say hi to your daddy and your cute baby self." Zayn smiled turning the camera around to a tired looking Louis wearing a light blue hospital gown with his messy hair covering his forehead holding a tiny bundle of beige blankets.

 

Harry smiled letting the tears fall when Louis lifted her up a bit and kissed her making her let out a tiny adorable squeak then he saw tiny arms peeking out of the blankets resting on Louis' chest then moving around a bit before Louis grabbed her them and kissed them smiling down at her. Harry sat up and let out a choked sob when Louis shifted her around so she was facing the camera revealing a tiny beautiful face with the cutest nose, she had her eyes closed but he could see her tiny eyelashes fanning over her chubby cheeks. Louis had the biggest smile as he waved her hand for the camera.

 

"Say hi sweetheart." Louis whispered looking at the camera but quickly focused his attention on her when she began getting fussy letting out high pitched cries calming down when Louis began rocking her from side to side mumbling words Harry couldn't make out that well.

 

"That was your first ever video outside your father's womb and you cried, now say hi to uncle Niall and aunt Eleanor." Zayn smiled shifting the camera over to them as they waved each holding a Styrofoam cup then he started recording Louis again without him noticing as he watched her with love and adoration until Zayn said his goodbyes and the screen went black again.

 

"It's February sixteenth two thousand and ten at about three forty seven pm and look who's about to be welcomed into the house for the first time." Harry heard Zayn's voice focusing the camera on both Louis and Logan until they heard a loud bang and saw Niall walking out of the flat dusting his hands off then Eleanor walking in front of him shoving half of the pink bags she was holding over to him.

 

"Welcome home Logan." Louis said just as Eleanor opened the door stopping halfway through the door.

 

"Niall, you cleaned the whole house?" Louis asked lightly bouncing her looking around.

 

"Yeah...it took me all day but there was no way we were gonna bring the princess into a messy flat." Niall smiled grabbing Logan's hand waving it around.

 

Harry watched how they gave her a tour of their flat until they got to Louis' room and he slowly put her down on her bassinet, he watched the next video from when Louis' family as well as Zayn's, Niall's and Eleanor's went to visit them wanting to meet her and he couldn't help but feel a hole in his chest knowing that his family and Liam's were the only ones missing, the only ones who had missed such a special day. He could see Jay tearing up when she saw and held her for the first time sharing a look with Mark and according to the date Harry was still stuck in that place wishing he was dead every single second of the day.

 

He laughed at one where Louis was trying to change her diaper making a cute face that was supposed to be of disgust but he couldn't pull it off, not when all he saw in his face was love for her. He hadn't noticed Zayn was getting everything on camera until he was done and looked up just as he picked her up and wrapped a pink blanket around her tiny body.

 

"C'mon mate give my daughter some dignity, I'm changing her diaper." Louis frowned trying not to laugh.

 

"This needs to be documented Louis, what am I gonna show at her wedding day then. If daddy's not gonna embarrass her then uncle Zayn will." Zayn giggled shaking the camera a bit.

 

"Uh huh, here, can you hold her so I can shower? Oh gosh I still have homework to do." Louis sighed kissing her forehead then walked over to his bed to grab the new clean clothes resting there.

 

"Sure Lou, I thought you were done by now." Zayn said holding her tightly with one arm putting the camera close to her face where Harry could see all her features and the saliva bubbles she was making with her tiny pouty lips.

 

"I was doing it but then it was time to feed her and you know how she gets." Louis responded off screen making her turn her head over to where his voice was coming from making it easier for Harry to see her lovely green/blue eyes he loved so much staring at nothing in particular. She was wearing a pink knit hat and drool was coming out from the sides of his mouth then he saw Zayn kissing her cheek before the screen once again went black.

 

Harry lost track of time watching the whole video feeling the tears streaming down his face when Logan spoke her first word which was 'dada' when Louis was feeding her and he had bursted out crying, her first birthday where she ruined the icing of the cake then smeared it all over Zayn's face when she grabbed it. Her first steps in the living room with Louis, Niall and Eleanor cheering her on while Zayn recorded everything, how she had stopped halfway from getting to Louis then started crying falling back on her bum making Louis shot up from his spot on the couch to pick her up and comfort her. Instead of feeling better after watching it he only felt emptier than ever knowing how much he had missed and couldn't and will never be able to go back in time and fix it all and be with them like a proper family, he turned off the laptop and went to bed after he had gone through Logan's pictures deciding to buy new frames.

 

He woke up the next day to his phone ringing loudly right by his ear and groaning in annoyance he picked it up ignoring the caller id since his sight was still blurry fully waking up when Gemma began screaming his ear off.

 

"Gemma shut up!" He groaned.

 

"No, you shut up! Is it true Louis' coming back with my niece for her birthday and is it true that you're planning to move to Australia?" Gemma asked.

 

"I was but I'm not anymore and yes we're having her birthday party there. Who told you?" Harry spoke trying to open his eyes again shielding them from the bright sunlight.

 

"Okay good, I thought I was gonna have to go there and unpack all your stuff while trying to knock some sense into you. Liam told me...Oh my gosh I can't wait to meet her! How was yesterday, I heard you got a boyfriend. What about Louis?" Gemma asked.

 

"Yesterday was great, I got a picture from Logan and Louis gave me baby pictures and a video from when she was a baby. I got a boyfriend but I'm not sure if I want you guys to meet him yet. What about Louis, what?" Harry asked trying to act like he didn't know what she was talking about.

 

"I wish I was there to celebrate your birthday with you and I thought you were gonna earn his forgiveness and fight for him, I know you still love him Haz." Gemma sighed.

 

"Don't worry, that won't be my last birthday, I still have many left. I kissed him a week ago and he slapped me and I figured out that it's better to just leave things the way they are, we did agreed to be civil for Logan last night. That's the most I'm gonna get." Harry explained turning around on his bed to get more comfortable.

 

"But you love him you idiot." Gemma argued.

 

"It doesn't matter anymore Gems, I'll get over him and make it work for Logan. Louis and I were never meant to be together and never will, he doesn't love me anymore and its all my fault because I fucked every thing up. It's for the best Gemma." Harry sat up rubbing his eyes.

 

"So you two are just gonna spend the rest of your lives passing her from one house to the other when you want to spend time with her instead of raising her in a proper home with both her parents? That's no way to raise a child Harry and you and I know better than anyone else what that's like." Gemma argued.

 

"Well what do you want me to do?! I know better than anyone else know how it feels to be passed around but there's nothing I can do. Louis doesn't love me and will never want to be with me no matter what, I can't force him." Harry raised his voice a tiny bit remembering his biological dad he hadn't seen since he was fifteen and was the reason for his fear that had ruined his and Louis' lifes.

 

"Fight for them! That's what you need to do goddamit." Gemma shouted.

 

"He doesn't love me, I can't force him to love me and be with me...not again Gemma." Harry tried not to cry swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.

 

"I'm sorry Haz..."

 

"Don't be, it's all my fault and I deserve it."

 

"We need to have a good talk when you get here. I have to go and I love you okay, always remember that."

 

"I love you too Gems." Harry said then hung up staying in bed doing nothing.

 

He lay in his bed wanting to see them again then smiled reaching for his phone trying to buy tickets and if they couldn't go with him then he would just save them and give them to his assistant, after he was done he decided to call Louis and ask him thanking the gods they had managed to save his contacts and personal stuff and information.

 

"Louis, it's Harry." He smiled at hearing his voice, Buttercup's barks and Logan singing in the background.

 

"I thought you lost my number." Louis said trying to load the dryer with the sheets Logan had stained with crayon.

 

"They were able to save my contacts. I was wondering if I could take Logan to the zoo, I know it's gonna be crowded but I think we'll manage not to lose her." Harry said hoping for a yes.

 

"When you say we who are you referring to, who else is going?" Louis asked cringing at the idea of Drew being close to her.

 

"You and I, I want to take you both." Harry quickly answered.

 

"Oh okay. What time, and are we buying the tickets there?" Louis asked imagining the long line just to get them.

 

"I'll pick you up at one and I already got them."

 

"Okay then, we'll see you at one. Bye."

 

"Bye."

 

Harry quickly got up noticing it was already eleven and ran to take a shower before eating something light and while he waited to pick them up he took the picture frames he had in the box ready to pack and put them back in the walls. Louis and Logan were already waiting when he got there immediately picking her up into his arms as soon as he laid eyes on her while Louis had her bag and her car seat. The car ride was filled with Logan talking about anything that caught her attention and Harry answering her questions as best as he could keeping it rated G feeling Louis' eyes on him the entire time. As soon as she was out of the car she grabbed Louis' hand on her right and Harry's on her left walking towards the entrance jumping up and down with excitement smiling widely at the employee who smiled back as Harry handed her the code he had gotten for the tickets.

 

"Wow, it's really crowded." Louis looked around tightening his grip on Logan's hand.

 

"Daddies I want to see the fishies." Logan pouted looking up at them.

 

"To the aquarium it is then. You okay Louis?" Harry asked noticing looking around nervously.

 

"Yeah I'm okay, we should get going." Louis started walking noticing people cooing at Logan then smiling widely at him and Harry.

 

He began to feel that weird feeling on his stomach realizing that they thought they were just a happy family, two happy parents taking their daughter to the zoo as she squealed pointing at the different fishes swimming around. He saw Harry bending down next to her telling her the names of the different fishes and chuckled when she pressed her face against the glass putting her hand on it asking Harry if they had a bed to go night night in and where did they go when they had to potty. Halfway through the zoo Logan started whining that she was hungry until Harry offered to buy food for all three of them and Louis was left sitting on a picnic table with Logan to save the seats. He could see Harry waiting in line not noticing the hungry looks an older man was giving him from the other side of the picnic area until he was standing next to him.

 

"Hey gorgeous." The creepy old man said leaning in close to Louis as he backed away holding Logan closer to him shielding her from the man.

 

"Uhh...hi." Louis murmured looking around for Harry who had disappeared.

 

"That your kid? She's a beauty." He smirked making Louis feel extremely uncomfortable feeling Logan grab fistfulls of his coat.

 

"If you'll excuse-" Louis tried to get up with Logan to go find Harry and froze when the man grabbed his arm to stop him.

 

"Leaving already? Why? I thought we could have some fun, it's hard to find a pretty boy like you around here with killer curves like yours. She might be a hassle but we can leave her somewhere." He whispered on Louis' ear as he held back a whimper closing his eyes but quickly opened them when he heard Logan beginning to cry in his arms, he was about to tell the man to fuck off when he heard Harry's low and threatening voice.

 

"Do me a favor and take your filthy hands off of him." Harry growled putting the bag and three drinks he was holding down on the table.

 

"He's not yours, mind your own business kid." The man spat.

 

"That's my husband you're talking about and our daughter. Now take your disgusting hands off of him or so help me God you'll wish you were dead after I'm done with you." Harry threatened giving him murderous looks looking ready to kill at any moment, something Louis used to be afraid of but found comforting now.

 

Louis gasped when the man's cold hands were replaced with Harry's warm hands standing in front of him shielding them from the man's glare then felt an arm wrap around his waist and warm lips on his left temple feeling safe out of nowhere. Harry glared at the man exchanging a few not so friendly words before the man left with a scowl on his face and as soon as he was gone Harry turned around to look at Louis and comfort Logan.

 

"Louis are you okay? It's okay baby, he's gone. See? C'mon let's eat...daddy got you and daddy Louis hot dogs. They're delicious, yummy!" Harry made silly faces while rubbing his stomach in attempts to get her to stop crying.

 

"I-I'm okay, c'mon love let's eat." Louis mumbled following Harry to another table still a little frightened where he sat down placing Logan in between them.

 

"I'm sorry, if I had known that was gonna happen I-" Harry started.

 

"You didn't, don't worry about it I'm okay." Louis interrupted.

 

"But I-"

 

"Harry! Your food's getting cold." Louis interrupted ending the conversation.

 

Harry nodded and began handing them their food and drinks wearing a tiny smile as he opened the wrapping paper to make it easier for Logan to eat her food knowing how messy it could get. Louis smiled when he saw him grabbing a napkin to gently wipe her nose then used his thumbs to wipe the tears off of her cheeks while she let out tiny hiccups that quickly went away. Harry started eating his food in complete silence once he made sure she was all set and that she wasn't going to spill anything, he had his eyes fixed on something Louis couldn't see and will only break it to help their daughter keep the area around her mouth ketchup and mustard free. He grabbed his drink slowly drinking it and almost choked realizing what it was and looked up to see Harry looking at him with a worried expression as well as Logan while chewing her food raising her eyebrows.

 

"Are you okay?" Harry asked.

 

"Y-yeah..." Louis trailed off smiling at Logan and chuckling when she gave him a toothy grin closing her eyes then opening them again.

 

"Oh okay, I thought you didn't liked the drink I got you, hope it's still your favorite." Harry gave him a sad smile then reached for his own drink looking away.

 

"Mango pineapple it's still my favorite." Louis said trying to figure out what was wrong with him, he had been acting strange ever since that man had left and figured he'll just ask later.

 

"Daddy Lou, water!" Logan demanded pulling on his sleeve and quickly adding the please and thank you after Louis gave her a look.

 

They ate the rest of their food in silence and as soon as they were done Louis took Logan to a family bathroom just in time after drinking way too much Apple juice followed by Harry's own strawberry one after she insisted on just a sip to taste it and turned out into almost drinking half of it when she kept grabbing the straw to drink. Once they were done and had washed their hands they walked out of the bathroom with Louis looking around for Harry until he found him talking to a security guard then smiled shaking his hand and walked back towards them wondering why Harry had been talking to him then remembered that man.

 

"Is something wrong?" Louis asked shifting Logan over to his left hip who was entertained pulling the leaves out of the tree behind them watching them fall to the ground before doing it again.

 

"No, everything's okay. You guys want to go see the tigers?" Harry asked looking at the routes he had made on his phone."

 

"We haven't really had a proper conversation in almost six years but I know that look. What's wrong?" Louis insisted waiting for Harry to start talking.

 

"Nothing's wrong Louis. Bug we're gonna go see the tigers, you excited?" Harry beamed taking her from Louis.

 

"Mhm, can I pet it like I do with Buttercup?" Logan asked bouncing up and down in his arms.

 

"I'm afraid we can't sweety, we can't pet them but we can watch them." Harry smiled kissing her cheek.

 

The rest of the way Harry avoided Louis' questions like the plague until they got to the tiger territory where Logan quickly dragged them towards the floor to ceiling windows pressing her face against it. They both bent down next to her pointing at the different tigers until one of them came too close to the window out of curiosity and Logan quickly turned to Louis trying to crawl on his lap to hide away from the tiger while both parents tried to coax her out.

 

"Is she afraid of them too?" Said a voice louis recognized, he turned his head around to see David looking at them with a small smile while Brian had Alex in his arms kissing his forehead and rubbing his back.

 

"Hi, yeah...she didn't expect them to get too close." Louis chuckled.

 

"Neither did Alex. How are you? Hello." David smiled at Harry and Logan.

 

"Good, how are you?"

 

"Great!"

 

"Hi, it's nice to see you again." Harry smiled shaking his hand then Brian's when he approached them.

 

"They really don't like them." Brian sighed running his fingers through Alex's blond hair while Louis gave Logan to Harry.

 

"We were about to head out to butterfly paradise, want to join us?" David asked and Harry looked at Louis waiting for confirmation.

 

"We'll love to." Louis smiled.

 

Once they were there Logan and Alex quickly ran to watch them closer holding hands with Harry and Brian running after them shouting at them to stop running while Louis decided to stay behind with David, they say down on a bench as Louis realized how tired he already was from walking around.

 

"They're so excited." David chuckled watching them running around.

 

"They look more excited." Louis said pointing at Harry and Brian.

 

"Yeah...I'm just glad he's around." David said out of nowhere surprising Louis.

 

"Is everything alright?" He asked turning around to face him.

 

"Yeah yeah...It's just things that happened but they're in the past now. We're good now. If you don't mind me asking, you and Harry married young?" He asked.

 

"Oh...No we're not married or dating, we just have a kid together." Louis answered.

 

"We thought you were married, figured it out by the way he looks at you everytime and I can see he's an excellent father." David pointed towards Harry, Louis quickly turned around to see him blowing raspberries on Logan's tummy then shifted her around to attack her cheeks while she laughed and pulled at his hair but it didn't seem to affect Harry at all.

 

"He just met her two weeks ago." Louis blurted out not knowing why.

 

"Really? It doesn't look like it at all...And whatever happened between you two in the past must've been hard for you. Being a single parent is hard especially when you're pregnant." David chewed on his bottom lip.

 

"Weren't you with Brian then?" Louis asked.

 

"No. Brian used to be horrible, when he found out I was pregnant he denied Alex as his son and wanted nothing to do with him so he left me, even after Alex was born he kept denying him until he saw him and fell in love with him. It took him a while to get used to being a father that's why I'm telling you it looks like he's known her all her life instead of two weeks." David smiled a little.

 

Louis smiled then looked at Harry one more time holding Logan's hand and talking to one of the employees before he let them all for of them through a door then watched her happy face when a butterfly landed on the tip of her nose, stood there for a few seconds then flew away leaving her a giggling mess. His smile widened when Harry bent down to her level smiling and cooing at her kissing her nose then her forehead, he pointed at his cheek and smiled when Logan kissed it wrapping his arms around his neck.

 

Harry could have rejected her the moment he found out she existed and to be honest that would've hurt him more than what he went through because of him but instead of doing that he looked for her and already loved her without even knowing her at all, he loved her unconditionally even though he had never met her before and he knew he would always love her and do anything for her and that just like he would Harry too would give his life up for her so she could stay safe and happy. He didn't noticed they were standing in front of him until Logan launched herself at him trying to wrap her arms around his stomach as Harry looked down at them with fondness, he picked her up and she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his temple.

 

"Oh, I almost forgot. Harry and I are throwing her a birthday party in Doncaster the fifteenth of this month and we were wondering if you would like to go. I know it's in Doncaster but we would really love for you to go." Louis looked at David and Brian with a tiny smile.

 

"Of course we'll go." Brian smiled after having a silent discussion with David.

 

"That's great! Could I have your numbers to give you directions?" Louis asked trading phones with David and Brian. "Harry aren't you gonna give them your number?" Louis mumbled so only Harry could hear him.

 

"Yeah." Harry smiled giving them his cellphone.

 

"Just give us a call when you start driving there and we'll give you directions." Louis said handing them their phones back.

 

"We will, thanks for inviting us." Brian smiled.

 

They continued walking around seeing the different animals until Logan fell asleep in Louis' arms and decided to leave at the same time David and Brian did, as soon as they were in the car Harry quickly took them back home staying silent the whole way there. It wasn't until Harry walked out of Logan's room saying a quick bye to Louis when he decided he had had enough and physically blocked Harry from opening the door when he tried to escape him.

 

"You're not getting out of here until you tell me what's wrong." Louis insisted slapping Harry's hands away every time he tried to open the door.

 

"Nothing's wrong. Louis I have to go." Harry struggled trying not to touch him and freak him out.

 

"No you're not. Tell me what's wrong, you've been acting weird all day." He insisted again securing the door to keep him from leaving.

 

"Nothing is...I was just feeling a little bit tired. I seriously have to go." Harry moved to push him away from the door but Louis only held on tighter.

 

"No."

 

"If you don't move I'm gonna tickle you, I still know all your ticklish spots." Harry threatened.

 

Louis raised his eyebrows challenging him sure of himself he wouldn't do it, "you're not leaving."

 

Harry moved too fast for Louis and soon had his hands on his sides tickling Louis as he tried to slap them away squirming around, he pushed him off and blocked the door again when Harry tried to open it and make a run for it. Harry once again tickled his sides making Louis screech and attempting to push him off again his ankle got caught up on Harry's making Harry slip taking him down with him when he tried to stop the fall.

 

Louis put out his hands in front of him to soften the blow but wasn't necessary when he landed on top of Harry lifting his head to look at Harry's wide green eyes staring back at him waiting for him to freak out but it never happened. Louis found himself slowly leaning in and quickly pressed his lips on Harry's lifting his head again to look at Harry then leaned in attacking his lips kissing him as hard as he could not wanting any inch of his lips to separate from his as he tangled his fingers on Harry's hair pulling him closer.

 

Harry reacted almost immediately kissing him back wrapping one arm around his waist and using the other to pull him closer by the neck both of them feeling the room getting hotter the more they kissed. He ran his hands throughout Louis' back before they settled on his hips greedily tightening his grip on them as the kiss became wetter and hungrier, it wasn't until Harry began grinding against Louis pulling him down by the hips and Louis' moans when he realized what he was doing and quickly pushed him away struggling to get up.

 

"I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you again. I'm sorry." Harry stuttered getting up and running towards the door leaving the flat and Louis sitting alone on the floor trying to catch his breath and figure out what the hell was wrong with him.

 

He had kissed harry, he had kissed back and all he knew was that he wanted to do it again as he touched his lips smiling a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't the trailer just amazing? I'm in love!!
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> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1389654793902_zps8a9ba544.jpg.html)  
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> Thoughts? :)


	14. Sitting in an empty room trying to forget the past

[Ghost Of You Trailer #2](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kpnG5sRv6o&feature=youtu.be)

 

 

Harry groaned when he heard his alarm going off and turned around shutting it off as fast as he could to drown out the horrible noise it was making, he abruptly sat up remembering what had happened last night and cursed himself for being stupid and unable to control himself knowing he had probably fucked things up again. He got out of bed heading straight for the shower and after he was done getting ready he left his flat without eating breakfast but aiming to go get his regular hot chocolate and blueberry muffin like he always did. When he got to his studio Drew was already waiting for him giving him a kiss that no matter what Harry did he couldn't help but compare to Louis' kisses making him feel guilty at how much he preferred Louis'.

 

"Are you okay?" Drew asked sensing Harry's uneasiness.

 

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I'll be downstairs working." Harry forced a smile heading towards the staircase.

 

As soon as he was there he pulled out his phone and transferred to his laptop the picture he had taken of Logan the day before smiling as it loaded on the screen, he smiled bigger when he saw it and knew what he would give to Louis as a very late birthday present. He had been working for a while when he heard footsteps coming downstairs and as he craned his neck around to see who it was he could see two figures moving then Drew walked in followed by Louis holding Logan in his arms and a bag hanging from his forearm. She had her legs and arms wrapped around Louis and her face on the crook of his neck moving her feet around in circles; a habit Harry had noticed she did when she was nervous or scared.

 

"Harry love, Louis wanted to talk to you." Drew forced a smile clearly not wanting him near Harry.

 

"Hi...could I talk to you? In private." Louis said looking at Harry then at Drew raising his eyebrows expecting him to leave, he took the hint and left but not before he pressed his lips against Harry's catching him by surprise as Louis rolled his eyes focusing his attention on Logan pulling her sweater lower on her back.

 

"Love bug!" Harry smiled as soon as Drew was gone.

 

"He's gone sweetheart." Louis mumbled hoping Harry wouldn't hear as she slowly lifted her head looking around before her eyes landed on Harry.

 

"Daddy!" She shouted launching herself at Harry who caught her just in time placing her down on his lap hugging and kissing her.

 

"Hi baby...why's your hair wet? Did you took a bath this early?" Harry asked her giving Louis a shy questioning look.

 

"Daddy Lou said I needed one, daddy I didn't needed a bath." Logan shook her head pulling on Harry's shirt to look at his swallow tattoos or the 'birdies' like she liked to call them.

 

"Buttercup peed on her, made quite a mess." Louis shuddered remembering.

 

"Oh...sorry about that, I can take him back if you want." Harry said giving Logan a pen and a piece of paper to entertain her.

 

"It's fine don't worry about it." Louis smiled.

 

"Are you sure?" Harry asked again then turned to Logan poking her pudgy belly making her squirm. "Because Buttercup is a naughty boy." Harry teased making her gasp and look at him with wide eyes.

 

"Daddy he's not naughty, he's little and can't hold it." She defended him while drawing lines on the paper.

 

"Yeah, you're little too and you don't pee on daddy Louis, do you?" Harry teased.

 

"No...Daddy I'm a big girl." She giggled at the thought going back to drawing.

 

"Alright alright, you're a big girl now."

 

"Harry about last night..." Louis blushed.

 

"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled closing his laptop.

 

"No...it wasn't...that was all me and I-I don't know, I just went for it." Louis said starting to feel a heavy weigh on his chest that realizing that maybe Harry was sorry for kissing him back.

 

"So you're not mad I kissed you?"

 

"Why would I be? I'm the one who kissed you and you're not mad I did are you?" Louis asked with wide eyes.

 

"No I'm not...What are you guys doing today?" Harry asked bringing out the chair next to him so Louis could sit down.

 

"Nothing really...I still want to know why you were acting weird yesterday." Louis sat down putting Logan's bag on his lap.

 

"I was just tired." Harry lied giving Logan a second sheet of paper and a blue highlighter.

 

"You can tell me anything, you know? If we really want to make this work we have to communicate." Louis moved closer expecting him to start talking.

 

"I...it was that man and what he was trying to do, it was my fault because I'm the one who took you there then left you and her alone. He was-he was trying to do what I did to you." Harry whispered the last sentence looking down at Logan's odd shapes on the paper.

 

"Hey...don't-don't say that, it wasn't your fault and that's in the past okay? Let's not talk about it." Louis stuttered feeling a lump forming in his throat as he tried to comfort him without remembering.

 

"Daddy I want down." Logan broke the tension wiggling out of Harry's grasp and he gently set her down and watched her running to Louis asking for Jessy then plopped down under the desk to play with her.

 

Harry cleared his throat then looked at Louis again, "Mum and Gemma are dying to meet her, especially Gemma." He smiled.

 

"Really? I don't even...I haven't even started planning her party and I still have to take her to have her picture taken." Louis groaned rubbing his hands on his face.

 

"I'll help you and about the pictures...I could take them if you want to." Harry suggested.

 

"You would? What are the prices? I need quite a few, all sizes because I'm gonna give them to your family and you, my mum, Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor. Do you think Liam would want one too? I'm basically gonna give them pictures from age zero to four." Louis blabbered as Harry listened wearing a tiny smile.

 

"You don't have to pay me Lou. Do you have enough pictures because I'm sure Liam's gonna feel left out if you don't give him any of those five pictures and I'm pretty sure Gemma would want some too." Harry said.

 

"I can't let you take them for free." Louis looked down.

 

"I want to...if you want we can go take them right now so I can have them ready by her birthday." Harry suggested a bit excited.

 

"Now? But she's not dressed with the clothes I got her."

 

"Go get her ready and I'll meet you there."

 

"Yeah, okay." Louis bent down to pick a surprised Logan who yelped when Louis picked her up.

 

Louis hurried back to his flat to get her ready and changed her into a pink dress and fixed her hair so it looked more like waves than curly. He was fixing her pink flats on her feet when he heard the doorbell and hurried over to let Harry in.

 

"Hey...well aren't you the prettiest princess in the whole wide world." Harry smiled bending down to kiss her nose.

 

"Itchy." Was all she said pulling on her light pink leggings Louis had forced her into.

 

"You know...I never understood why or how it will itch, Gemma used to complain a lot too." Harry looked at Louis pointing at the leggings as Logan desperately scratched her legs pulling on them.

 

"Do you think I should take them off?" Louis asked watching her drop down on the floor rubbing her legs against Harry's own ones to try and find some relief in the rough texture of his jeans.

 

"Yeah...look at her, it's like...I don't even know how to describe it." Harry muttered then reached out to pull them off making her sigh in relief.

 

"We should get going." Louis said grabbing her stuff letting Harry carry her.

 

Thirty minutes later they found themselves in a small church just outside the city that Harry had suggested Louis should see because it was simply beautiful and as soon as Louis stepped inside he fell in love with it. It wasn't anything like the big and fancy churches in the city but small, gorgeous, and homey. He had Logan in his arms to keep her from running off while Harry talked to the priest who he had known for two years now ever since he included pictures of the church in his gallery at uni. After Harry had introduced them he led Louis to one of the back rooms and as fast as he could he set up his stuff while Louis struggled to keep Logan from getting up from the stool Harry had put her in.

 

"Logan you have to look at me." Harry sighed trying to take the last picture after a kicking and crying episode where Louis had to scold her to stop with the attitude or he would make Harry take Buttercup with him again.

 

She sighed and looked outside as Harry immediately snapped the picture looking at it and finding it absolutely perfect, he looked at Louis and nodded letting him know they were done. He showed Louis the pictures checking the ones Louis wanted and writing the sizes then picked up his stuff and left the church thanking the priest.

 

~*~

 

"I've never planned a child's party or any sort of party before but I'm gonna try my best and help you." Harry smiled sitting down on the couch.

 

They had gotten back to Louis' flat and wanting to be done with planning a party Harry had decided to stay and help Louis while their daughter entertained herself with Buttercup after she had gone commando as soon as she had stepped inside and Louis had to chase her around to force a pair of shorts, undies and a shirt on her.

 

"Mum told me she invited a few kids her age who live close and the twins invited their class so she'll have kids to play with and Alex is gonna be there, don't worry about adults being the only guests." Louis said after Harry had voiced his thoughts and worries about her not having enough kids in her party.

 

"Okay then...ooh and about the cake, we should order it from the bakery our mums always ordered ours from. Lets have it Toy Story or The Amazing World of Gumball themed. She's gonna flip!" Harry suggested wearing the biggest smile making Louis' stomach flutter as he wrote it down.

 

"What kind of food should we serve?" Louis asked noticing Harry typing furiously on his phone frowning when he figured out maybe he was texting Drew but smiled at what Harry said next.

 

"Well according to our best friend Google we should serve juice drink boxes so they don't make a mess and I think mini grilled cheese sandwiches are perfect and veggie dips. My assistant had veggie dips at her daughters fourth birthday party and tiny fruit kabobs." Harry said.

 

"You went to your assistant daughter's birthday party?" Louis asked trying not to laugh.

 

"She invited me plus I took the pictures." Harry defended himself blushing a bit.

 

"I need to Google how to make them." Louis mumbled.

 

"I know how to make the rainbow fruit kabobs, we can do strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple, green grapes, blueberries and the purple grapes and then we press them into the wooden kabob skewers that are safe for children." Harry said taking the notebook from Louis to write it down himself.

 

"That sounds great. We should do the party Toy Story themed and for activities I think Zayn...Zayn and...I, we...we could paint their faces." Louis looked away.

 

"You...You don't have to paint if you don't want to, I bet Gems would love to do it." Harry quickly suggested sensing how tense Louis had gotten.

 

"I want to and...do you think Gemma would want to help too?"

 

"She'll love to." Harry perked up making a mental note to ask her.

 

"I'll call my mum and ask her to place an order for the cake and I'm just gonna get there two days earlier to buy all of the food and the party stuff." Louis sighed.

 

"I don't wanna pressure you into saying yes but if you want to we can drive there together in my car, I'm not gonna leave you doing all the preparations by yourself. I want to help too." Harry smiled and Louis was about to say yes when Logan came in running with a panicked expression.

 

"Daddy look what happened!" She screeched grabbing Louis' hand pulling him towards her bathroom.

 

"Sweetheart what's going on?" Louis asked following after her.

 

His eyes widened comically and his jaw dropped down as his lips turned into an o shape looking at the mess in front of him taking in the overflowing toilet and the water quickly pulling on the floor. He let go of her hand and as fast as he could he ran in to try and shut off the toilet's water supply doing so just as Harry walked in lifting Logan by her underarms to move her away from the water and into the hallway as Louis frantically tried to stop the toilet from overflowing.

 

"Logan what did you do?" Harry gaped at a mischievous looking little girl looking right back at him with innocent eyes that almost fooled Harry into thinking she had nothing to do with it.

 

"I don't like the ducky daddy, he went bye bye." Logan shrugged poking Harry's knee through the rip on his jeans.

 

"I think she flushed down a duck...a rubber duck." Harry informed Louis who was trying to figure out what to do.

 

"Ugh, I should have thrown it away when I had the chance." Louis groaned getting up eyeing his soaked jeans.

 

"Do you have a mop and a bucket? Logan please go back to the living room with the dog and stay there." Harry sighed.

 

"In the laundry room, there should be another pair of gloves there." Louis said putting gloves on.

 

Once Harry was back with the items he found Louis trying to unclog the toilet with a plunger and after a few attempts while Harry cleaned the floor he gave out a cry of victory and carefully took the small yellow rubber duck with his gloved hands and threw it away glancing at the door where Logan was standing sucking on her thumb watching them and as soon as she saw him looking at her she ran back to the living room. He took the gloves off washing his hands then ran to his room to change his hands coming back wearing a pair of sweatpants and another mop in hand to help Harry dry then disinfect the floor.

 

"Logan?" Louis walked into the living room followed by Harry and looking for their daughter after they had finished and had washed their hands.

 

"Sorry sorry." Logan clung to Louis' legs burying her face on one of his thighs.

 

"Don't cry." Louis murmured picking her up when she started crying loudly.

 

"I'm sorry daddy." She wailed clinging to him.

 

"I know you're sorry but why did you flushed it down the toilet? Toys aren't meant to be flushed, only number one and number two are supposed to." Louis explained pulling her off of his neck to look at her.

 

"I don't like the ducky daddy." She hicupped.

 

"I know you don't like it but that doesn't mean that when you don't like something you have to flush it down the toilet. Please don't do it again. Okay?"

 

"Okay. Daddy curly..." She burst out crying again reaching for Harry.

 

"Don't cry love." Harry cooed taking her from Louis setting her head down on his shoulder.

 

Harry stayed until they were done planning and Louis had called his mum asking her if she could order the cake then called Zayn while Harry called Gemma to ask them if they wanted to volunteer to paint faces which they immediately agreed to. They both agreed to drive to Doncaster together on Thursday so they could prepare everything and have enough time for Louis' parents to get used to have Harry around again or more like get Mark used to him again.

 

As the days passed by Louis found himself texting Harry more and more and sometimes he would visit Harry at work when he didn't had to work ignoring Drew's glares every time he got too close to Harry finding that being close to him wasn't as nerve racking as it had been before. Logan slowly lost that fear she had towards Drew and the more she was around him the more possessive she got over Harry to the point of walking up to them when they were together and physically push him away from Harry yelling 'mine!' every time he got too close to her daddy then would cling to his legs while glaring at Drew.

 

Zayn had laughed his ass off after Louis had voiced his concern over her possessive behavior she had over Harry and how she hated Harry's boyfriend resisting the urge to roll his eyes at that word and after Zayn was done laughing he only said 'when is she not possessive?' like it was completely normal to him and soon after Eleanor had rushed into his flat holding two magazines throwing them at Louis. One was Teen Vogue with him on the cover and the other one had Harry, Logan and himself holding hands from that day at the Zoo. It talked about how no one knew they had a gorgeous daughter together because there was no doubt she belonged to them and how they had managed to hide her and hide that they knew each other well enough to have a kid. Both Harry and Louis shrugged it off and didn't really cared that everyone knew they had a daughter as long as they didn't harassed her and it also didn't stopped them from sometimes going out just the three of them together.

 

~*~

 

The Thursday morning they were supposed to be leaving Louis was already packed and was just waiting for Harry to pick them up, Niall, Zayn and Eleanor were set to get there Friday morning as well as Liam who according to Harry was extremely excited for her party after finding out it was going to be Toy Story themed. He had already sent a text to David and Brian letting them know he would be leaving early and he would send directions and to call him if they needed something after they had told him they would get there Friday night and would stay in a hotel close to their place.

 

"Hey, you ready?" Harry asked after Louis opened the door.

 

"Yeah. Logan's still sleep, just let me put our bags in your car."

 

"I'll get them and Buttercup so you can lock your door." Harry smiled taking the two bags and Buttercup's leash.

 

"Did you guys had breakfast?" Harry asked as soon as Louis got in the passengers seat after buckling Logan up in a way that she was comfortable putting the dog next to her.

 

"Yeah we did but she fell asleep again." Louis said.

 

They fell into a comfortable silence only making conversation once in a while until Louis started getting annoyed at the fact that Drew kept calling Harry until Harry told him that he was driving and that he'll call later. Harry was starting to get hungry deciding to stop at McDonald's two hours after they had left London and after Louis agreed that it was for the best to get Logan something to eat now or she'll whinning for the rest of the way demanding food if she woke up as he told Harry that she had always been like that ever since she was a few hours old as Harry parked the car.

 

"Daddy Lou I want chicken nuggets." Logan loudly announced startling Harry but not Louis who was used to it.

 

"Oh my God! How long have you been awake?" Harry asked her holding a hand over his chest and Logan mumbled a quiet 'dunno' then moved her attention to roughly pet the sleepy dog.

 

"She scared me." Harry said to Louis shutting the engine down and unbuckling himself pausing before speaking again. "Isn't it better if we just go through the drive-thru?" He asked then drove towards it shaking his head while Louis laughed.

 

After getting their food and Louis had made sure Logan wasn't going to spill anything they continued their drive until they were only twenty minutes away and Louis could sense how nervous Harry was by the way he was gripping the steering wheel and he couldn't help but feel nervous too even though he had begged his dad to be nice to Harry for their sake. He had agreed to it but he was still nervous and the fact that Harry's family was going to be there and were going to meet her didn't helped at all.

 

"It'll be okay Harry." Louis spoke after a while trying to make both of them feel better.

 

"I haven't been there in three years." Harry confessed surprising Louis.

 

"Why?"

 

"Too many memories, I couldn't handle them and just stopped visiting...I haven't seen my family in a year too." Harry explained making Louis realize that he hadn't been the only one with too many painful memories enough for him to stop visiting too.

 

"Well...time to build new ones." Louis half smiled as Harry parked in front of their houses that still looked pretty much the same.

 

They got off the car taking Logan and Buttercup leaving their bags there for later and headed towards Louis' front door as he held onto Logan tightly and Harry held the dog, both of them ready to face everything and everyone. They already knew Harry's family were waiting there too and Louis couldn't stop thinking about how both of them had left separately with nothing and now they were back together with a little girl and a dog. Just as Louis was about to knock the door slammed open and Louis found himself trapped in his mother's arms immediately hugging back trying not to squeeze Logan.

 

"I missed you baby! Oh my God look at my grandbaby! You got bigger since the last time I saw you lovely." Jay let out a watery chuckle grabbing her face with both her hands kissing her forehead then Louis'.

 

"Nana!" Logan squealed.

 

"Harry! Come here, I haven't seen you in three years. Your parents and sister are inside and can't wait to see you and meet Logan." Jay said pulling him into a hug surprising him as he hugged back.

 

"We should go in." Louis said and gulped when his mum let them in and led them to the backyard where everyone was waiting.

 

As soon as they stepped outside Anne's eyes began watering bringing her hands over to her chest while Gemma smiled trying hard not to cry observing their son and brother who looked much older than the last time they saw him and the gorgeous little girl a completely different Louis was holding. Anne rushed over to him hugging the life out of him followed by Gemma and Robin resisting the urge to hug Logan not wanting to scare her while Harry smiled then looked over at Mark who looked like he wanted to punch him but didn't wanted to at the same time remembering that night he watched from his window how an unconscious Harry was carried out looking dead.

 

"Oh honey, we've missed you." Anne hugged him tighter then let him go to kiss his forehead followed by Gemma who lightly slapped the back of his head then hugged him rubbing his back as he nuzzled his face on her neck.

 

"I missed you knucklehead."

 

"Yeah me too brainless." Harry smiled bending down a little to kiss her forehead since he was taller than she was.

 

"Mine!" Logan broke the moment reaching for Harry pulling him closer to her by his jacket.

 

"Aren't you a gorgeous girl. I'm Anne, I'm Harry's mum." Anne smiled as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

"It's okay love, she's daddy's mum and that's his sister Gemma and his dad Robin." Louis tried to coax her out after she hid her face on the crook of his neck.

 

"I missed you Louis, I'm glad you're back." Anne mumbled to Louis hugging him.

 

"I missed you too." Louis smiled trying not to cry.

 

"Hi baby girl, I'm your auntie Gemma. Harry the knucklehead is my brother." Gemma smiled trying to get a better look at her.

 

"Anne is your grandma like Nana Jay and Robin is grandpa like papa." Louis rubbed her back until she looked at them then reached for Harry who took her in his arms together with Buttercup.

 

"That's my mum and dad love bug. You can call her Ninna and you can call my dad poppy if you want to." Harry smiled winking at Robin.

 

"Can I hold her?" Anne asked looking at Louis then Harry.

 

"Of course." Louis smiled.

 

He gave her to Anne and watched her hug his daughter like there was no tomorrow trying to stop crying.

 

"I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry." Gemma chanted then burst out crying when Anne gave Logan to her as she studied her features then hugged her giving Louis a watery smile then reached to hug him too.

 

"It's so nice to see you again...I missed you." Gemma said.

 

"I missed you too." Louis wrapped his arms around her.

 

"Your dad's been waiting for you." Gemma whispered then let go of him.

 

Louis nodded giving Robin a quick hug then walked up to Mark quickly wrapping his arms around him while Mark did the same, they stood there for a while listening to Logan's giggles and Anne, Gemma and his mum's voices cooing over her then Gemma arguing with Harry over his ugliness and Logan's beauty. He moved his head a little to see Harry and Robin walking to the other side of the backyard with Harry still holding the dog then them talking, he watched Robin pull Harry into a hug and Harry cling to him desperately.

 

"Are you okay? How is he treating you and my munchkin?" Mark asked.

 

"He's a complete different person dad, he's really good to us and Logan adores him." Louis said.

 

"You know I respect your decision but the moment he does or says something you don't like you tell me right away. I'll be damned if I let him hurt you again." Mark gave Louis a stern look while Louis nodded.

 

"The girls are at school?" Louis asked trying to change the subject.

 

"Yeah and they're so excited to see you both, especially the twins. We still haven't told them Harry is Logan's dad...that's up to you if you want to tell them. Now c'mon, I wanna hug my troublemaker." Mark smiled throwing his arm over Louis' shoulders bringing him closer to him.

 

They walked up to them where Logan was on Gemma's arms fascinated with her long wavy hair trying to braid it but all she did was tangle it up and Gemma didn't seemed to mind at all too busy talking to Anne and Jay about how she was an exact copy of Harry with the exception that she was a beauty and Harry was just Harry. Just as she let an excited squeal of 'look papa I have a poppy!' Louis noticed Harry sitting with Buttercup all by himself over by the edge of the hill staring at nothing in particular yet the look on his face was the same he wore when remembering painful memories.

 

"He just needs a few minutes alone." Robin gently grabbed his arm just as he started making his way over to Harry.

 

"Why, what's wrong?" Louis asked as his eyes flickered between Robin and Harry.

 

"It's not really my place to tell you, he will if he wants to." Robin answered and with that he went back to the rest leaving a confused Louis standing alone noticing Harry wiping his face with his sleeves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mvcri8ErVs1slptp8o1_500_zps358fe42d.jpg.html)   
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> Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mvcri8ErVs1slptp8o1_500_zps358fe42d.jpg
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> Someone made a new trailer guys, please watch it! :)
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> Thoughts? :)


	15. I could see it in your eyes, but I just didn't care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I took me forever to update, I was busy and just when I was about to finish typing my mom told us we had to go to some family dinner and my brother and I were pissed off but here it is. Please enjoy.
> 
> IMPORTANT: Note at the end and some of the medical things mentioned in this chapter I made up for the sake of the story.

"We should go inside, the girls will be here at any minute now." Louis spoke startling Harry who relaxed once he saw him.

 

"Where's Logan?" Harry asked.

 

"Inside with our mums and your sister, she's already so in love with Gemma and so is she." Louis smiled taking a seat next to Harry.

 

"She's all Gemma talked about ever since she found out about her." Harry cracked a smile giving Louis a quick glance.

 

Louis observed Harry and wondered what was it that he was keeping from him and if it was as serious as Robin made it out to be, he wanted to ask him but instead chose to keep it to himself until made the move to tell him. They walked side by side back to the house when Gemma began shouting at them to come inside and once he walked in followed by Harry he was attacked by four bodies clinging to him while he tried to wrap his arms around all four of his sisters managing to do so. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Harry walking up to Gemma and Logan as she leaned her body reaching for him while he smiled taking her in his arms.

 

"We missed you Lou." Both Daisy and Phoebe said smiling up at Louis.

 

"I missed you all too." Louis smiled kissing their foreheads.

 

"Is it true Lou?" Lottie whispered in his ear while hugging him.

 

"What?" Louis gave her a confused look.

 

"Harry is Logan's dad...I didn't know you two had something going on back then." She wiggled her eyebrows then turned to look at him seeing him rocking her from side to side while Logan rested her head on his shoulder and sucked on her thumb.

 

"We didn't...it was...it was just a one night stand." Louis lied feeling bad but he didn't wanted his sister to know how Logan really came to be.

 

"Judging by the way he looks at you I don't think it was just a one night stand for him." Lottie mumbled then pulled away just as the twins ran up to Harry then ran up to their room each holding one of Logan's hands and Buttercup's leash.

 

"I'm so glad you're back Lou." Fizz gave him a quick hug.

 

"Me too." Louis smiled.

 

"Son I put your bags in Lottie's room, she's gonna stay with Fizz." Mark informed him.

 

Louis felt his blood going cold the moment he heard those words out of his dad's mouth, he opened and closed his mouth trying to find an excuse to not go in there again because he wasn't ready at all. He wasn't ready to go back into the room where he had been violated and insulted, Harry knowing what Louis was going through decided to save him from going back there again but Louis beat him to it.

 

"Dad I don't think it's fair to take her room, Logan and I are just gonna go to a hotel." Louis insisted.

 

"Nonsense love, you're staying in Lottie's room." Jay argued.

 

"Mum...that's not fair to Lottie plus she has a single bed." Louis continued.

 

"You could stay at our house in Gemma's room, she has her own flat now and the bed is big enough for two." Anne offered smiling big and comforting like she always did.

 

"A-are you sure? I don't want to intrude." Louis nervously asked.

 

"Of course I'm sure, we would love to have both of you there." Anne smiled bigger.

 

"Okay then, thank you." Louis thanked her just as Logan came back with the twins pulling on the leash and Logan's mouth and the tip of her nose covered in chocolate.

 

"Icky, daddy I don't like icky." Logan looked up at Louis trying to clean it off with her sleeves.

 

"Oh no, not with your sleeves Hunter! C'mon, lets clean that up." Louis took her hand then walked out of the room towards the kitchen followed by all the girls and Robin leaving Harry alone with Mark.

 

"You and I need to talk, come to my office." He left the room followed by Harry and as soon as Harry closed the door Mark started talking.

 

"I'm not very happy with his decision of letting you back into his life but I have to respect it, trust me when I say this Harry, if I could you would never see them again but my son's old enough to make his own decisions. Do know that if you hurt him again or hurt that little girl this time not even your parents would be able to stop me from giving you what you deserve."

 

"I-I would never hurt them sir...I would never hurt him again." Harry stuttered feeling Mark's burning gaze on him.

 

"I hope you keep your word because I don't want to see him cry like that again...it broke my heart when he told us he was pregnant and it tore me apart to know how he got pregnant. I know you didn't had it any easier than he did so please don't hurt him again." Mark finished taking a deep breath.

 

"What I went through is nothing compared to what I made him go through and-and I'm really sorry. I'm not gonna hurt him again, I promise." Harry willed the unshed tears away.

 

"I just wish I had known what was going on back then because if I did none of that would've happened but I can't change it...we should go back before they start wondering where we are." Mark said then walked towards the door leaving Harry behind to compose himself.

 

When he walked back to the kitchen Mark was already deep in conversation with Robin. Anne, Gemma and the girls were focusing all of their attention on Logan but Jay and Louis were nowhere to be seen. Shrugging it off he walked to the downstairs bathroom passing by the living room where he could see Louis and Jay sitting on the couch with Louis holding a canvas trying not to cry, he could hear him asking her why she had picked it up and kept it expecting her to answer but Jay only kissed his cheek and got up leaving him alone not noticing Harry at all.

 

"Hey...What is that?" Harry asked startling Louis quickly hiding the canvas behind him.

 

"It's nothing." Louis looked down.

 

"You're crying, if it was nothing you wouldn't be crying." Harry mumbled taking a seat next to him craning his neck to look at the painting.

 

"It's just a painting, I have millions of those down in the basement." Louis shrugged.

 

"Can I see it?" Harry smiled a little.

 

"No, definitely not." Louis quickly said panicking a bit because no, Harry couldn't see it.

 

"Why not? C'mon Lou, I just want to see it." Harry insisted reaching for it making Louis slap his hand away dropping it in the process where Harry quickly picked it up wearing a tiny smile that faded away as soon as he saw it.

 

It was him, it was his seventeen year old self, Louis had painted him and suddenly every thing was blurry. Once his vision cleared he turned to look at Louis who had his head down refusing to look at him.

 

"When-when did you painted this?" Harry whispered so low only Louis could hear him but barely.

 

"Last day of school...I stayed after school to finish it. I chose to paint a person instead of a natural scenery, that's why it took me longer...I just wanted it to be perfect." Louis answered still unable to look at him.

 

"That's why you were covered in brown and green paint..." Harry whispered to himself then put the painting down next to Louis. "I-I have to go...I need air." 

 

And with that he fled the room leaving Louis alone picking it up before walking to the basement putting it on a shelf with the rest of his paintings then walked back to the kitchen drying his tears. Louis didn't see Harry at all for the rest of the day even after he was already settled in what used to be Gemma's room and Logan was downstairs baking cookies with Anne. Gemma had already gone back to her house and he had already said goodnight to his family expecting them to come over to Anne's house the next day to have breakfast together except Mark, Robin and the girls who had to work and go to school.

 

He silently began unpacking Logan's outfit for the party after he had given Anne, Gemma and his mum the pictures of Logan and Harry had given them the ones he took making Anne cry at seeing her baby pictures cooing at every single one of them. He noticed the price tag still on one of the sleeves, he looked around for a pair of scissors to cut it off without ruining the fabric and once he didn't see them he walked downstairs with the shirt in his hands intending to ask Anne if she had a pair. He found Logan sitting on top of the kitchen counter with Anne standing in front of her wiping her mouth with a napkin then the cookie crumbs off of her shirt looking at her granddaughter like she was a rare and very precious beautiful stone.

 

"One more Ninna." Logan pouted pointing at the chocolate chip cookies on top of the kitchen table.

 

"You already had two pumpkin and I don't want you to get sick, tomorrow you can have more and Harry told me it's almost your bed time." Anne smiled kissing her nose.

 

"He's my daddy curly...He's not 'Arry. Ninna that's not his name." Logan gasped shaking her head.

 

"I know darling, he's your daddy curly but he's also my son Harry. You call him daddy and we call him Harry." Anne explained giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

"Oh..." Logan said then began rubbing her eyes letting Louis know she needed to take a bath and go to bed.

 

"Anne?" Louis quietly called her name.

 

"Hi love, I was about to bring the munchkin to you." Anne said lifting Logan up then setting her down watching as she ran to Louis where he quickly picked her up.

 

"I was wondering if you have a pair of scissors I could use?"

 

"Yeah," Anne rummaged through the drawers just as her phone started ringing. "I think I have a pair in one of the drawers in my desk in my office, I have to answer but please feel free to go look." Anne gave him an apologetic smile.

 

Louis smiled and turned around heading to her office shifting Logan so she was laying down in his arms against his chest then moved her back up when she started squirming and whining to get back up.

 

He opened the door then walked in closing it after himself setting Logan down next to him telling her to stay put while he searched for the scissors as she insisted on helping because that's what big girls did; they helped their daddies. He wasn't even done searching in the first one when Logan roughly pulled out a drawer sending it down crashing into the ground scattering documents all over them scaring her. She ran to him lifting his shirt up to hide her face underneath it, he could feel her nose then her cheek pressing against his stomach as he started at the mess in front of him.

 

"Hunter! Oh my god...here, love please just sit here and don't move." Louis sobbed making her sit on the chair then bent down trying to organize them to put them back in the drawer.

 

"I'm sorry daddy." She whimpered sucking on her thumb.

 

"It's okay love, daddy's not mad." Louis smiled at her then looked at the stack of papers in his hands.

 

He was halfway done when he noticed a hospital release form with Harry's name as the patient from Doncaster Royal Infirmary and began reading knowing it was wrong and none of his business but he cared about him and wanted to know if it had been something serious. He felt his legs giving out underneath him and the hot burning tears prickling his eyes making them sting whenever he blinked to try and clear his vision before they rolled down his cheeks as he read over the form.

 

'Suicide attempt, sleeping pills (Ambiem) and alcohol overdose/poisoning, on suicidal watch, therapy necessary for patient's well being, brought in by: Liam Payne, mode: ambulatory, 2-14-10, 1:30 am.'

 

Those were the words that stuck out more to Louis, he looked down to see Anne's signature at the bottom of the paper next to Harry's and as fast as he could he grabbed the rest of the documents and threw them inside the drawer putting it back in its place. He dried the tears taking a deep breath then picked up a drowsy Logan and exited Anne's office forgetting about the scissors, he mumbled a quick goodnight to Anne and gave Logan a quick bath then tucked her in laying next to her humming a lullaby to get her to sleep after her bedtime story fail to do so.

 

He stayed awake thinking about Harry and how much it would hurt him if he had really succeeded, he could see now and remember that pain in Harry's eyes he chose to ignore. He heard Harry's footsteps then his bedroom door closing at around midnight then with shaky steps he got up and walked out of the room leaving the door open and headed to Harry's room knowing he was still awake by the light coming out from under the door. Just as he was about to knock he stopped himself wondering how was he going to get him to tell him what had he attempted to do and that's if Harry even wanted to share that with him realizing he didn't had to tell him anything.

 

"Louis? What are you doing standing there?" Harry asked pulling him out of his thoughts, he looked up to see Harry staring at him eating a cookie feeling his chest tightening at the thought of him being dead.

 

"I was...I just...we need to talk. Can I come in?" Louis gulped bracing himself for what was coming.

 

"Uh...Yeah sure." Harry moved to the side letting Louis in closing the door then taking a seat on the bed gesturing for Louis to do the same.

 

"Where have you been?" Louis asked biting his tongue a second later wishing he could take it back because he didn't had the right to ask him about his whereabouts.

 

"Around town...." Harry responded taking a bite from the cookie offering Louis another one from the pile he had on a napkin.

 

"Thanks." Louis mumbled taking the cookie.

 

"So what did you wanted to talk about?" Harry asked.

 

"About...about what happened earlier with the painting. You didn't had to run off like that you know, we're supposed to start over and forget about...that." Louis moved his arms around to make his point.

 

"I can't and never will. I'm a monster who deserves nothing but the worst, I don't deserve Logan and you, I don't deserve anything good in life." He got up pacing back and forth in front of Louis then knelt down in front of him.

 

"Harry..."

 

"No! You wanted to talk, we're gonna talk. I hate myself...I just hate myself so much I could die in the most painful way and not give a shit because at least I know I'll be going straight to hell to pay for all the awful things I did to you. I'm a monster, I'm a waste of space because no one hurts the person they love so much it hurts. That was my mistake, hurting you and not accepting who I was...we could have been so happy together if I had just accepted who I was." Harry confessed void of any emotion making Louis' breath hitch when a single tear rolled down Harry's left eye.

 

"You wouldn't...right? You wouldn't try to kill yourself again and leave her alone, right?" Louis asked unable to stop himself then his eyes widened in realization at what he had just done.

 

"W-what? What-who, who told you?" Harry sat up as fast as he could walking towards the door to escape feeling shame running through him but Louis stopped him.

 

"Harry look at me...please look at me." Louis gently grabbed his chin to make him look at him and when he did he noticed tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

 

"D-Did my mum and dad told you...did Gemma? I told them to never talk about it ever again, I know I fucked up again but they promised...You weren't supposed to know." Harry wailed getting out of Louis' grasp walking back to his bed sitting on it.

 

"They didn't. I needed a pair of scissors and Anne told me to look for them in her office, Logan was trying to help and knocked down a drawer with documents and when I was putting them back in I saw the release form from the hospital. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have read it or ask you." Louis apologized.

 

"I just wanted to die, I just wanted to end it...end the nightmares...end everything. I looked for you everywhere to beg you to forgive me...to beg for another chance but I couldn't find you and your parents wouldn't tell me where you were. I told our parents, Liam and Gemma everything, I told them what I did to you and a few months later when I was back from uni and Liam had gone home I...I just decided it was time. I wrote you a letter and just when I thought I was ready to take them something held me back, I felt so desperate like-like something telling me it wasn't time for me to go yet but I ended up overdosing. That just shows how much of a coward I am for choosing the easy way out, I'm such a fuck up because I always end up hurting everyone." Harry pulled his legs to his chest wrapping his arms around them.

 

"I had her at around that time and I...I didn't know you were looking for me." Louis mumbled taking a seat next to him.

 

Harrh scoffed, "See? I even manage to taint her birthday without knowing it...God! I never stopped looking for you even after I moved to London and saw that huge Gucci ad with you in it, I always payed extra attention when I was out in case you were close but you managed to hide so well."

 

"You're not the only one who thought about taking the easy way out." Louis confessed making Harry look at him with wide eyes.

 

"Please...please don't tell me you tried to kill yourself too." Harry pleaded as a wave of fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

"No, I never even thought about it." Louis quickly said wondering if telling Harry, especially him, his deepest darkest secret he had kept to himself for four years because he was simply too ashamed to tell someone was the right thing to do.

 

"What do you mean then?"

 

"When-when I found out I was pregnant three months later I just wanted to get rid of it. I hated her so much I just wanted her out and away from me but I couldn't do it after I heard her heartbeat." Louis fiddled with his sleeve.

 

"That's-that's understandable Louis, I'm glad you didn't do it but if you had gotten an abortion then I wouldn't have blamed you or anything...I have no right to do so." Harry said even though it pained him to know.

 

"No you don't get it..." Louis frantically said. "I-I thought and that time I knew I had made the right decision when I decided to keep her but after that I realized I had to tell them I was pregnant and that she was yours, I had to tell them how I had gotten pregnant.

 

It was just too much for me I changed my mind about keeping her two weeks later but the thing was that Zayn, Niall, Eleanor, and my sisters were already so excited and I knew Zayn would try to talk me out of it and if I went to the doctor they would find out and hate me. There was this girl in one of my classes who had been pregnant and when I told her what was going on she told me she had taken some sort of tea to induce a miscarriage and that a doctor would rule it out as my body rejecting the baby and that it would cause a threatened abortion before finally aborting for good."

 

"Louis..." Harry mumbled feeling a hole in his chest.

 

"Please let me talk. She gave me some sort of herbs and told me four cups would be enough and to drink two per day...I was on my second one when Zayn and Niall came back from their trip and they started showing me all the baby clothes they had gotten for her telling me how excited they were and I just started crying when Zayn told me he knew it was gonna be a girl and couldn't wait to hold her." Louis cried wrapping his arms around himself.

 

"She's here Louis, you don't have to tell me the rest. It's okay, she's okay." Harry tried to calm him down.

 

"I almost lost her Harry...I-I started cramping and bleeding that night after I had gone to bed, Zayn took me to the hospital and they wouldn't stop crying. They were able to stop it but the doctor told us there were risks of birth defects or a stillbirth later on because my body thought of her as a parasite. I almost killed her Harry...I almost killed our daughter. Don't-please don't hate me...please." Louis sobbed then they were muffled by Harry's chest when he pulled him into a hug rubbing his back.

 

"I don't hate you, I could never hate you Louis. I love you." Harry mumbled putting his left cheek on top of Louis' head.

 

"But I t-tried to k-kill her." Louis cried grabbing fistfulls of Harry's shirt.

 

"It's not your fault okay, if anyone here is to blame then that's me. I will always love you no matter what, always." Harry murmured tightening his hold on Louis knowing he'll be gone soon and that that could be his only chance to every hold him like that.

 

"I-I..." Louis stuttered wanting to say it back but couldn't afraid of getting hurt again and instead wrapped his arms around Harry's waist hoping he would caught up onto what he was trying to show him but sadly Harry didn't.

 

Louis let go of Harry and sat there staring at him watching him fiddle with a loose thread on his shirt wondering if Harry had lied about hating him now just to make him feel better then jumped a little when Harry shyly grabbed his hand and gently pulled him forward into another hug. They stayed like that until Louis pulled away and looked straight into Harry's eyes deciding that if he couldn't tell him how he felt then at least he would show him he still loved him even after four years. He slowly inched himself closer to Harry never breaking eye contact with him then leaned in catching Harry's lips with his own feeling him tensing up then relaxing letting out a soft contempt sigh when Louis ran his fingers through his hair noticing how soft it still was even after six years of him not touching it anymore.

 

Harry deepened the kiss wrapping one arm around Louis' waist and the other around his shoulders bringing him closer to him as Louis wrapped his arms around his neck morally wanting to stop but deep inside he wanted it not caring if Harry had someone else. He decided to ignore the need to stop himself and instead lay back down on his back pulling Harry down with him as he quickly set his arms on either side of Louis hovering over him never breaking the kiss. Harry hesitated for bit before he began running his hand from Louis' left hip down to his thigh stopping when Louis lightly pushed him back and froze thinking he had done something wrong like forcing himself on him again. He gasped when Louis began pulling on his shirt trying to take it off.

 

"Louis...wait. you're not-" Harry stuttered getting more and more nervous the more Louis kept tugging on his shirt.

 

"Take it off." Louis mumbled then took it off himself when Harry made no move to do it himself.

 

Once Harry's shirt was off Louis pressed their lips together again pulling him down by the neck as Harry accommodated himself in between Louis' legs putting aside the fear of pushing him too far. He trailed small kisses down Louis' neck and just as Louis was about to reach for the zipper on Harry's jeans Harry heard them, small whimpers and the word 'daddies' being chanted in between hiccups. He sat up and stared at Louis leaving him confused as to why he had stopped kissing him.

 

"Did you hear that?" Harry asked trying to focus on the sound.

 

"Hear what?" Louis asked almost out of breath.

 

"Logan." Harry got off of Louis running towards the door hoping for her to stay in bed and not go to the stairs with Louis following after him.

 

They found Anne walking around the room with a sleepy and whiny Logan in her arms hugging Mr. Curls with one arm and the other around Anne's neck, they could hear her humming a lullaby but stopped when she saw them standing by the door giving them a knowing look before she walked up to Louis giving him the small child.

 

"I found her standing by the stairs looking for you, I'm gonna go back to sleep." Anne said and left the room never taking her eyes off of Harry.

 

"Daddy I'm sleepy..." She mumbled hiding her face in the crook of Louis' neck.

 

"I know love, I know...let's go back to bed yeah." Louis mumbled putting her back in the bed covering her with the blankets.

 

"Daddy my curly." Logan sat up again looking at Harry making grabby hands at him until he walked up to her.

 

"Happy birthday sweetheart. Goodnight baby, daddy curly loves you...to the moon and back." Harry smiled hugging her and kissing her forehead tucking her in.

 

"I love you too daddy...to the moon and back." She whispered closing her eyes.

 

He got up giving Louis a shy smile which he returned before he walked out of the room still smiling. He was startled when he opened his bedroom door and saw his mum standing by his old desk with her arms crossed over her chest giving him an unknown look.

 

"Mum...What are you doing here?" Harry asked awkwardly putting his shirt back on.

 

"I found her just as she was about to go down the stairs and you know how dangerous that is with the way they were built. What were you two doing?" Anne gave him a stern look.

 

"We were talking mum." Harry shrugged.

 

"Sure didn't looked like it. I couldn't find Louis and she wouldn't stop crying for him so I picked her up and thought about bringing her to you, she's your daughter too...And...What-what do I see?"

 

"Mum..." Harry sighed rubbing his temples.

 

"Whatever you two have needs to stop. I love both of you and I don't want you or him to get hurt again. I-I don't wanna lose any of you Harry, think about Logan because if this doesn't end well she's gonna suffer the most." Anne observed her son who couldn't even look at her.

 

"I love him..." Harry whispered.

 

"Oh honey," she walked up to him holding him like a small child. "You have a boyfriend Harry...What about him? If you break up with him is Louis willing to give you a chance?" Anne asked.

 

"I don't know...I don't think so." Harry mumbled burying his face on her hair.

 

"I'm just trying to protect all three of you...think about your daughter. I'm gonna go back to bed, I love you." Anne pulled back kissing his forehead.

 

"I love you too mum." Harry tried to smile.

 

He went to bed unable to push away the pain ripping through his heart knowing his mum was right and he had to put his daughter first instead of his feelings. Whatever it was that he had with Louis needed to stop even if it pained him to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mvehbxrHhL1qb4a7wo1_500-1_zpscfcb0b88.jpg.html)   
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> Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mvehbxrHhL1qb4a7wo1_500-1_zpscfcb0b88.jpg
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> IMPORTANT: SO I THOUGHT ABOUT DOING CHARACTERS ASKS AND LYNXH THINKS ITS A GOOD IDEA SO I'M GONNA TRY IT, GO TO MY TUMBLR AND ASK THE GHOST OF YOU CHARACTERS ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE.
> 
> My tumblr: http://meloveniall1994.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thoughts? :)


	16. My hands, your hands tied up like two ships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me longer to update, my dad threatened to cut off the internet and I had to limit myself and work also got in the way. But here it is guys, I hope you like it. :)

Harry groaned feeling a small weight sitting on his chest and the occasional poke on the cheeks and hair being pulled in different directions, he sighed when it stopped but then it continued until he opened his eyes seeing a small blurry figure in front of him. He rubbed his eyes then opened them again seeing a barely awake Logan with hair a mess sitting on top of him waiting for him to wake up and cuddle her into his chest where she knew it was toasty warm like Louis' chest then sighed getting off of him and under the covers shivering a bit. Without saying anything Harry turned on his side facing her and wrapped his arms around her bringing her closer to him as she sighed trying to wrap her tiny arms around him like him huffing in annoyance when she couldn't wrap them all the way around him.

 

"Happy happy birthday love bug, my sweet pea. I love you sweetheart." Harry peppered her face with kisses making her squirm and push his face away.

 

"To the moon and back daddy?" Logan asked bringing her thumb to her mouth.

 

"Mhm, to the moon and back baby girl." Harry smiled hugging her even closer. 

 

"Where's daddy Lou?" Harry asked after a few minutes of silence where Logan kept moving around unable to stay still.

 

"Dunno." She mumbled pulling on Harry's eyebrows.

 

"Let's go brush our teeth then we can go look for him yeah." Harry suggested getting up with her in his arms noticing the child proof stair gate someone had placed on top of the stairs then walked to the bathroom in Louis' room.

 

"I don't wanna...Daddy I don't want to." Logan tried to get out of Harry's arms to escape but Harry only held her tighter.

 

"You have to or your breath's gonna be smelly all day long." Harry grabbed her Toy Story toothbrush and the strawberry flavored toothpaste before walking back to the bathroom in the hallway where his toothbrush and toothpaste were.

 

Since Gemma and Louis were the older siblings they had gotten the rooms with the bathroom attached to it back when they were younger and Harry wouldn't stop complaining until he figured out his window was right in front of Louis' window and the way the houses were close together it made it easier for them to sneak into each other's room when they were still friends until they weren't anymore. Louis had started locking his window and keeping his curtains shut afraid of Harry hurting him again after the very first insult and beating.

 

"I don't want to!" Logan yelled when Harry set her down on top of the counter and began putting a small amount of toothpaste on the toothbrush.

 

"Hey no yelling, you're gonna brush them anyway...see? Just like daddy." Harry gave her the toothbrush then took his own adding toothpaste then began brushing his teeth.

 

Logan stared at him until she slowly brought it to her mouth and began brushing them just like Harry did and would spit out whenever Harry did announcing she was done just as Harry began rinsing his mouth. He helped her rinse her mouth and washed his face while she used the potty because she had to 'tinkle' washing their hands after she was done, he was fixing her hair when he heard Jay downstairs and could smell bacon and eggs. He put her down to put on a shirt and watched her as she ran up to the stairs stopping at the gate and began shaking it trying to get it open until Harry pulled her back and unlocked it grabbing her hand to help her down chuckling when she made him stop just so she could jump from the last step.

 

"Happy birthday love!" Louis picked her up kissing her cheek as soon as she had stepped into the kitchen.

 

"Happy birthday baby. My gosh you're already four, you're growing up too fast." Jay kissed her forehead.

 

"I'm a big girl Nana." Logan pointed at herself nodding.

 

"You are! Now go give Ninna a big kiss and a cuddle." Jay smiled.

 

Louis kissed her cheek one more time before he put her down again watching her run to Anne who picked her up wishing her a happy birthday then put her down on one of the chairs setting a plate of food in front of her. Harry took a seat next to her and Louis sat down on her other side cutting the bacon and eggs into smaller pieces then handed her a fork after wiping her fingers when she had tried to eat with her hands. Harry could feel Anne's eyes on him watching him then Louis, he looked up to see her starting at him and all he could do was nod letting her know he had understood what she had told him the night before.

 

"Do you guys have all the party stuff? Evelyn said she would have the cake ready this afternoon so you guys have to pick it up." Jay informed them taking a bite of her food.

 

"I'm gonna head out to the store to get them later today...Oh and Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor as well as Liam will get here this afternoon. I also invited a friend of Logan's, his name is Alex...his parents said they will get here tonight." Louis smiled.

 

"Auntie El said boys are really cute, Alex is cute," Logan giggled just as Harry's head turned to look at her so fast he was lucky it didn't fall off. "but boys are icky." 

 

"I'm a boy too...so is daddy Lou. That means we're icky?" Harry teased.

 

"No, you're not boys...you're daddies." She shrugged making them laugh.

 

"Mum, did you put that safety gate at the top of the stairs?" Harry asked.

 

"No, it was Robin after I told him where I found her. He just doesn't want her to get hurt...remember when you were fourteen and tripped going down the stairs?" Anne said looking at Louis making him feel uncomfortable at the thought of her knowing what Harry and himself were doing last night.

 

"Don't remind me, my arm still hurts when I remember." Harry shivered grabbing his left arm by the elbow.

 

"Your whole lower arm was facing the wrong way." Anne continued trying not to laugh.

 

"And it was just hanging." Louis joined in making Anne laugh.

 

"Stop!" Harry whined rubbing his arm.

 

"And then you could see the broken bone trying to pierce the skin." Louis kept teasing then burst out laughing followed by Logan who had no idea why Louis was laughing but laughed anyways.

 

"La la la la la, I can't hear you." Harry covered his ears with his hands.

 

"Stop tormenting the poor boy." Jay said giving Harry an 'I'm on your side' look.

 

"Thank you Jay." Harry sighed eating the last bits of his food.

 

"Well...after we're done cleaning the kitchen we're off to our book club, you boys need to get ready and buy what you need now. And don't forget to pick up the cake, it's under Louis' name." Anne said getting up to clean the kitchen followed by Jay.

 

After they were done eating Harry quickly made a run to the bathroom to take a shower while Louis made a list of what he thought he would need keeping an eye on Logan who was playing with a now wide awake Buttercup after he stopped her from shaking him awake and were now running in circles around the room. He was deep in thought thinking about how many of each stuff to buy when he heard the bathroom door opening and just as he looked up he saw Harry walking out of it with only a towel wrapped around his waist then his bedroom door closing after himself or more like slamming it then Logan gasping because daddy slammed the door and that's a no no with her daddy Lou. Confused he put his iPhone down then got up heading to his room, he was just about to knock when he heard Harry's angry voice talking to someone.

 

"My family was going to meet our daughter...it was a private family thing...He is her dad too, it's obvious he had to be here too...Are you serious? Of course I'm not having sex with him." Harry yelled and with that Louis headed back to his room somehow feeling guilty yet satisfied.

 

Louis was just getting Logan ready when Harry came out of his room asking him if he was ready and that he'll wait in the car taking Buttercup with him to put him in the backyard but had to come back and dress Logan himself when Louis had to take a call from David. Harry sat in the car with Logan until Louis got in the car never turning around to check on what she was wearing. They had been driving for a few minutes when Harry gave Louis a shy smile then turned on the radio just as that 'God forsaken song' according to Louis came on making Logan squeal in happiness as she began singing at the top of her lungs never missing a word.

 

"Lou you wanna stay out with your fancy friends. I'm telling you it's gotta be the end. Don't bring me down." She sang looking out the window while Harry laughed and Louis narrowed his eyes thinking of something to say but kept his mouth shut.

 

"'Arry you're always talking 'bout your crazy nights, one of these days you're gonna get it right. Don't bring me down." Logan continued singing then giggled when Louis began laughing at Harry's priceless face expression which was a mixture of horror and pride.

 

"What is-Harry what is she wearing?" Louis asked eyeing Logan who was wearing black leggings, converse shoes, a black sweater a size bigger and a red beanie after Harry had parked and he went to get her out.

 

"We went shopping and I found that outfit, isn't it cute?" Harry beamed gathering his wallet and keys.

 

"It is cute...you're gonna turn her into a hipster." Louis chuckled taking her into his arms almost forgetting Mr. Curls but quickly grabbing it when Logan called for him while Harry pushed a shopping cart towards them and Louis quickly put her in the seat.

 

"Okay...we need plates, napkins, cups, forks, and decorations plus the fruit, veggies and the rest of the food." Louis mumbled going over the list while Harry pushed the cart letting Logan play a child's learning game he had downloaded on his phone.

 

"We should get the fruit first...Logan stop licking the screen, it's got nasty gems on it." Harry said taking the iPhone from her to clean the screen.

 

"Mine!" Logan screamed reaching for the phone catching the attention of a few people including one both Louis and Harry knew so well, especially Harry.

 

"Don't scream Hunter, he's just gonna clean it." Louis scolded her fixing her beanie.

 

"Daddy it's mine!" Logan insisted extending her arm to reach for it but only managed to grab one of Harry's sleeves.

 

"What's gotten into you? Daddy's not gonna give it back if you don't stop screaming." Louis threatened looking directly into her eyes.

 

"Well isn't she lovely." A female voice made both of them stop in their tracks just as Harry gave the phone back.

 

"Kaci...hi!" Harry awkwardly greeted his ex fuck buddy feeling Louis tense up next to him.

 

"Yeah, it's been a while now since I last saw you two here. Are you here to stay?" Kaci asked and Louis wanted to roll his eyes at the way she pushed her chest out making her breasts look bigger.

 

"No, not all. Lou, our daughter and I are just visiting for the weekend." Harry smiled taking a step closer to Louis.

 

"Hmm...who would've thought you two would end up together and with a child, we were all shocked when we found out from that magazine especially Jacob since you dated him Louis. No one really knew you two had something going on back then but I'm glad you guys are together now." She genuinely smiled surprising Louis when she ditched the slutty attitude.

 

Uh...Thank you?" Louis said with a confused look resisting the urge to ask her about Jacob with Harry there. 

 

Jacob had been the one he would have had sex with if it wasn't for Harry getting there with his friend Blake which was Jacob's brother and interrupted them. Harry had pulled Jacob off of him then punched him when he walked in on them when their shirts were already off then had dragged him out the door taking him back to his house without saying anything. He had looked extremely angry and somehow hurt when he dropped him off and now Louis knew why. The next day Jacob not only had a black eye but also a busted lip he knew Harry had made after dropping him off, he told him they couldn't be together anymore then stopped talking to him and that was the end of it.

 

"Yeah...I know I was horrible to you back then whenever you so much looked at Harry and I'm really sorry, I was such a b-i-t-c-h to you and I just wanted to apologize." Kaci blushed looking down at the floor.

 

"It's-it's okay...I mean, it's in the past now." Louis smiled.

 

"You're a sweetheart, I gotta go but it was really nice to see you both and you have a beautiful daughter." Kaci smiled.

 

"Thanks, take care." Harry said then she left waving one more time before heading to the check out line.

 

"She apologized, Kaci Callahan actually apologized." Louis said in awe.

 

"I know..." Harry mumbled.

 

They continued shopping and soon left the store with a few bags and a sticky Logan holding a lollipop and as soon as they got home after picking up the cake while Harry waited in the car with Logan Harry quickly got to work peeling and cutting fruit. Both of them had decided to have her party at Anne's house since it was bigger while Louis tried to keep Logan out of the kitchen when she kept coming back pulling on Harry's shirt for him to feed her fruit.

 

*~*

 

"Unca Zayn! Unca Niall!" Logan shouted abandoning Harry's lap and running to them as soon as she heard Zayn calling for her.

 

"Happy birthday cupcake! How old are you now?" Zayn asked picking her up while Niall quickly handed Louis and Harry the presents they had gotten for her so they could hide them.

 

"Daddy Lou says I'm four." Logan answered holding up three fingers making him chuckle.

 

"You mean four tiny fingers cupcake." Zayn smiled lifting one of her fingers up to make four then counted them together shouting the 'four' at the end.

 

"I think uncle Niall wants a cuddle. Here's the birthday girl uncle Niall." Zayn smiled giving her to him.

 

"Happy birthday monster, give me a good cuddle...I missed you." Niall hugged her tight.

 

They had gone back to Louis' house after Harry was done making fruit kabobs waiting for his sisters to get home so they could leave her with them and go back to put up some decorations and hide the stash of presents up in Lottie's room knowing Logan wouldn't go there. They could hear Eleanor arriving when Logan started shouting that she missed her and now she had six aunties and for uncles when Liam arrived an hour later showering her with kisses.

 

"I'm ready to paint faces." Zayn announced tackling Louis down on the couch as soon as Lottie had taken Logan to the backyard.

 

"Ow! Malik that hurt." Louis whined rubbing his stomach where Zayn's elbow had landed while Harry stared at the way Louis rubbed it.

 

"Oh quit it Tommo, it wasn't that bad." Zayn playfully rolled his eyes.

 

"That's a sensitive area." Louis grumbled fighting a smile.

 

"So you guys have everything ready?" Niall asked Louis and Harry.

 

"Yeah, party starts at noon." Harry answered smiling then frowned when he went back to texting.

 

"Everything okay Haz?" Liam asked.

 

"Yeah, everything's okay." Harry said while Louis eyed him with a knowing look.

 

Louis fiddled with his fingers as he wondered if Harry had told Drew about the kisses they had shared and if they were fighting because of him. He wanted to feel guilty for possibly ruining their relationship but he didn't cared at all about it when he had that tiny bit of hope that he might be able to forgive Harry and be with him one day, yet he knew that even though Harry still loved him he wasn't going to wait forever for him and one day he might actually settle down with Drew or someone else.

 

"Daaddyy!" Logan's hysterical cries filled the awkward silence that had filled the room.

 

"What's wrong?" Louis immediately got up taking her from a nervous looking Lottie.

 

"She was running around and Buttercup accidentally tripped her, she fell and hit her chin and her knee's bleeding." She explained while Harry checked her knee to see how bad the injury was.

 

"I'll go get the first aid kit." Lottie mumbled leaving Logan in Louis' arms while the rest of the adults hovered over her trying to calm her down.

 

She came back holding a small bag giving it to Louis then walked away to check on the twins while Louis tried to give her to Harry so he could clean the wound but end it up giving him the bag when Logan refused to let go of him pulling on his shirt. Zayn, Niall, Liam and Eleanor decided to leave since it was getting a bit late leaving them to deal with her loud cries when Harry began cleaning the wound with water then an alcohol swab when Louis told him it was starting to get infected making her scream louder kicking at Harry to make him stop. Once he was done he applied a numbing cream then a hello kitty bandaid over it.

 

"Shh, you're all better now." Louis hugged her against his chest rubbing her back.

 

"I think we should just get her home and in bed." Harry suggested picking up all the stuff he had used and Louis nodded noticing she was starting to fall asleep from all the crying.

 

"I'm gonna go tell mum and dad we're leaving." Louis got up leaving Harry to collect Buttercup.

 

Once they were back Louis left a wide awake Logan on the bed watching a Disney movie with Harry in his laptop while he took a shower letting the warm water relax his muscles after a long day and after he was done he changed into his pajamas and came out of the bathroom noticing Harry on his back and Logan sitting on his stomach feeding each other small pieces of fruit he had left for her and the rest of the family including Louis' and the laptop resting on top of a pillow next to them. He walked downstairs to get some tea wanting to leave them alone spending time together then almost turned around when he saw Anne preparing a cup for herself but changed his mind when she noticed him and gave him a tiny comforting smile.

 

"Hi love! How's the munckin?"

 

"She's better now...she's upstairs watching a movie with Harry." Louis smiled taking a seat in front of her taking the cup she offered to him.

 

"Poor baby, hated hearing her crying like that." Anne sighed.

 

"It was more shock than actual pain, us freaking out didn't really helped either." Louis gave her a tiny smile because he knew the only reason she had cried like that was because everyone had been hovering making it look worse.

 

"Now that we're alone I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for giving my Harry a chance and for letting us be a part of her life, I can see its really hard for you but thank you." Anne gave him a watery smile.

 

"You-you don't have to thank me." Louis stuttered taken aback by her words and unable to say anything else.

 

"What he did was just...just unacceptable and I'm really sorry I never noticed because if I had them you-and I understand that you hated him and left." Anne wiped away a few tears that had escaped feeling ashamed of Harry's past actions.

 

"I-I never hated him, I just hated what he did but at the time I was too hurt to realize it. I've never told anyone this but one of the many reasons why I kept her was because I knew that at least I'll have something that belonged to him and that baby would love me back as much as I did." Louis confessed trying not to cry but knew he had failed when the hot tears rolled down his cheeks.

 

"Oh sweetheart, I'm really sorry. Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive him?"

 

"I don't know...I just need time, but we get along more...and-and I know he's not gonna hurt me or Logan. He's a great dad and she just adores him." Louis smiled taking a sip from the tea.

 

"I honestly wouldn't hold it against you if you never forgive him." Anne sighed then stayed silent until they finished their tea and Anne went to bed while Louis just headed back to his room to give Logan a bath.

 

When Louis got back he found the bed empty but could hear Logan's giggles coming from the bathroom, the door was left ajar and he could see Harry kneeling next to the bathtub holding a Barbie doll making her talk using the highest pitched voice he could come up with while Logan waited for him to finish talking for the doll so she could do the same with hers.

 

"Oh Kelly I love your hair...maybe we should put some clothes on." Harry moved the Barbie around eyeing the weird skinny plastic body.

 

"Daddy no! I'm Valerie and you're Kelly." Logan pouted narrowing her eyes at him.

 

"Oh...sorry love bug." Harry quickly apologized.

 

Louis could see toys floating around on the water surrounded by bubbles and her pink towel on top of the toilet lid then he could see Harry grabbing a crayola box of crayons taking them out showing them to her. He could hear her squealing grabbing a purple one while Harry pointed to the tile walls telling her she could draw anything she wanted and that's when Louis decided to walk in.

 

"Harry what are you doing?" Louis asked just as Harry was about to finish drawing a flower.

 

"I uh...I was just giving her a bath." Harry nervously said while Logan ignored them and continued drawing or trying to draw a flower like Harry's.

 

"I know that, I meant the crayons." Louis smiled a little.

 

"Oh. I got them earlier today...they're bathtub crayons and I thought she'll love to draw on the tile walls." Harry explained relaxing when Louis didn't started yelling at him for giving her a bath.

 

"Okay...can...can I join?" Louis asked.

 

"Yeah, of course!" Harry exclaimed moving a little to make space for him.

 

Louis knelt down next to him grabbing a dark blue crayon slowly bringing it up to where it almost touched the tile but froze while Harry eyed him nervously then smiled when Louis began drawing loving the way it felt after four years of avoiding anything that had to do with drawing much less painting. He found himself drawing Jessie from Toy Story and smiled when Logan gasped looking at his drawing stopping what she was doing just to watch him draw her favorite character.

 

"Daddy I love it." Logan smiled after Louis was done.

 

"It's for you love...here, give me your hand and I'll help you draw her." Louis said then took her hand and began guiding it to help her draw her while Harry just sat there and smiled noticing the way Louis' eyes shined.

 

*~*

 

The next day as soon as Louis woke up exactly at eight in the morning Logan was still asleep next to him, he looked around then got up heading to the bathroom to take a shower smiling when he saw the tile walls covered in drawings Harry, Logan, and himself had drawn the night before. He took his time knowing that if Logan was to wake up while he was still showering then she'll go to Harry and sit on top of him until he woke up after Harry had told him about her waking him up the day before. The day turned out to be more hectic than what they thought it would be when Logan refused to stay with Lottie, Fizz, and the twins throwing a tantrum that consisted of laying on the floor screaming and crying whenever Louis and Harry so much moved an inch until Louis had enough and picked her up having no choice but to bring her with them scolding her all the way back to Anne's house.

 

While he finished the last of the decorations around the house Harry got the mini grilled sandwiches ready to go into the oven later on while Anne and Jay helped with the veggie dips. They could hear Logan ordering Buttercup to stop licking her papa's shoe because that wasn't nice then her asking her poppy to hold her because he needed a good cuddle like the ones her daddies gave her. Gemma had gotten there a few minutes later attacking her with kisses at the same time Eleanor did and together had made it their duty to get her ready and around noon the kids started arriving with their mums each carrying a present handing it to Louis or Harry while Logan waved at them giving them her biggest smile making the mums coo at her telling them what a gorgeous daughter they had. 

 

"Happy birthday Logan." Alex smiled handing her a present wrapped in Jesse's wrapping paper making her cheeks go a little rosy.

 

She took his hand and dragged him to where Zayn and Gemma were stationed painting the kid's faces as Harry followed them with his eyes, his gaze focused on their entwined hands making Louis chuckle at the idea of Harry already not letting boys close to her.

 

"Thanks again for inviting him." Brian smiled taking David's hand.

 

"That's all he talked about this morning, he was so excited." David continued watching his son getting his face painted by Zayn who was painting the boy's faces.

 

"Thank you for coming, come on in...let us introduce you to the family." Louis guided them towards the kitchen to introduce them and offer the food they had made for the adults while kids ran around either waiting in line for Zayn and Gemma to paint their faces or joining the different games hosted by Niall, Liam, Lottie and Eleanor and as far as they could tell the kids were having fun.

 

Harry waited until Anne was busy with the food while Jay made conversation with David and Brian then took Louis' hand taking him upstairs to his room closing the door after them and began searching his bag while Louis waited with anticipation as to what Harry had for him. A few seconds later Harry turned around to look at Louis holding a wrapped present with his name on it and smiled giving it to him.

 

"What's this for?" Louis asked shaking it trying to guess what it was.

 

"I know your birthday was two months ago but I-I wanted to give you something." Harry explained blushing a bit.

 

He watched as Louis carefully opened it smiling a bit and his smile widened when he saw what it was, he put the wrapping paper on Harry's desk never taking his eyes off of the picture frame he was holding. It was a picture of a smiling Logan with a peacock butterfly testing at the tip of her nose then remembered it was from when they had gone to the zoo, how had Harry managed to take a picture that fast and still look perfect he had no idea but he absolutely loved it.

 

"Wow...Thank you! I love it, thank you." Louis smiled and without thinking he ran to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist resting his head on his chest smiling when Harry wrapped his arms around his shoulders pulling him closer to him.

 

"Louis! Time to sing happy birthday to cupcake." Zayn yelled from somewhere just as Harry started leaning in when Louis had looked up at him.

 

They quickly separated trying to act as if they had not been about to kiss again then Louis took a deep breath before he walked out of the room followed by Harry only to find Zayn standing by the door of Louis' bedroom waiting for them with his arms crossed over his chest.

 

"Thanks again for the picture Harry." Louis smiled.

 

"You're welcome."

 

"What picture?" Zayn asked eyeing Harry suspiciously.

 

"This picture, I just love it!" Louis gave Zayn the picture waiting for him to flip at how cute it was.

 

"Wha-oh my God! Aww." Zayn cooed looking at it.

 

"Harry took it." Louis bragged like a proud mother.

 

"Wow, this is amazing. You're so talented Harry." Zayn genuinely smiled at Harry for the very first time giving the picture back to Louis.

 

"Thanks."

 

"We should go 'cause Eleanor and Gemma are trying to keep her away from the cake but that girl is so stubborn." Zayn laughed walking down the stairs.

 

*~*

 

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Logan, happy birthday to you." Everyone sang then clapped as Louis set the cake in front of her with four blue candles smiling and remembering how he and Harry had fought because Harry wanted all of them in a straight line and he wanted them in pairs of two one in front of the other and at the end he had won.

 

"Make a wish baby." Louis said watching her close her eyes and wish just like he had thought her smiling at Harry who was ready to take millions of pictures. She opened her eyes trying to blow the candles and Louis ended up helping her when her little puffs of air weren't enough.

 

"What did you wish for baby?" Louis asked knowing she wasn't going to budge and tell him.

 

"A baby brother, Cassandra has one. Daddy I want one too." Logan answered referring to the five year old girl she had adopted into hers and Alex's group, the three of them playing and sitting next to her.

 

Louis' eyes widened then looked up to see Harry looking a little pale looking everywhere else but at Louis then Cassandra's mum holding a small baby in a bundle of blue blankets smiling down at them. He cleared his throat and smiled at Logan who had a hopeful look on her face making him feel bad because he knew that wish would probably never become true.

 

"Boys could you stand next to her so Gemma can take a picture?" Anne asked breaking the small tension taking Harry's camera from him then giving it to Gemma.

 

Harry knelt down on her right giving her a kiss on the cheek while Louis knelt down on her left wrapping his arm around her tiny back while Harry did the same. To everybody else it looked like they just wanted to hug her but it wasn't just for that to Harry and Louis, they smiled leaning their heads closer to Logan's and posed for the picture wanting it to be perfect. With their hands intertwined together in a tight lock behind her back and out of sight to the rest of them they waited for Gemma to take the very first picture of the three of them together. The very first picture where Louis didn't felt sad at not having Harry there and sad in general but felt happy because he was there and he didn't had to feel that fear he used to. It was the very first picture where Logan finally had her two daddies instead of only one and they were both genuinely smiling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mwwq3pzNFl1ruh0f0o2_500_zps7ef260fe.jpg.html)
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> Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mwwq3pzNFl1ruh0f0o2_500_zps7ef260fe.jpg
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> Thoughts? :)


	17. Trouble is a friend and he's a sucker for her charm*

Louis' eyes snapped open realizing he had fallen asleep halfway through his conversation with Harry and looked around noticing they were still in the car so that meant they weren't in London yet. He couldn't hear Logan or the dog in the backseat assuming they were asleep since it was already ten at night and she was exhausted after the long day, he just hoped for Anna to be free the next day which was a Monday since Harry had to work and he had to be away all day for the photo shoot of a new clothing line for both men and women. After her party was over and everyone had gone home including David, Brian and Alex they had spent the day with their families and friends while Logan played with some of the toys she had gotten. 

He had gotten her a necklace with her first and second name initials, a tabeo tablet and purple and pink Tom's because he just had to. He smiled remembering how Harry had gotten her an A-Z puzzle, art supplies for kids and the one he had been excited about for her to open- a playskool showman two in one digital camera and projector because 'who knows Louis, she might like photography or and be artistic like you'. After Logan had opened it she had squealed because she too had a camera like daddy curly and brushes to paint like daddy Lou had in the basement that she liked. She had taken pictures of everyone and everything like nobody's business with Harry's help then would take her time to add animations to project them later on. They had left Doncaster with the promise of visiting again or have them visit them in London but to never go a long time without seeing each other and after Louis had washed the bathtub not wanting to leave it like that much to Anne's protests.

"Are we almost there?" Louis mumbled.

"Twenty more minutes. Did you call Logan's babysitter?"

"Yeah...I'm gonna drop her off at Anna's flat because her car broke down and I sent her a text with your number in case Logan needs something...I won't be able to answer mine. Hope you don't mind..." Louis looked at Harry slightly embarrassed for not asking if it was okay.

"I don't mind at all. Did you-did you tell her who I am?" Harry asked looking at Louis then focused his eyes back on the road.

"I told her and last time Logan stayed with her she wouldn't stop talking about you. Kept bragging because Anna Banana only has one daddy and she has two." Louis chuckled making Harry feel all warm inside.

Twenty minutes later Harry parked his car helping Louis carry all of their stuff plus Logan's birthday presents which were quite a few and after kissing Logan goodnight and giving Louis a long hug he left taking a quick shower and falling asleep in record time after he got home and had dumped his bags by his bedroom door.

*~*

"Harry someone keeps calling you and its ten past two already, you said you were leaving at two." Grace, his assistant walked in where Harry was picking his stuff up after a photoshoot with an annoying model who didn't get the fact that he likes dick no matter how many times he told her.

"I'm about to leave Grace...You can go now if you want to. Thanks." Harry smiled taking his phone from her.

After he had loaded all his stuff in his car he scrolled through his two missed calls from an unknown number and hesitantly called back, once the person answered he could hear who he recognized as Logan crying in the background and a female voice gently murmuring comforting words.

"Hello?" Harry frantically said getting worried.

"Is this Harry Styles? Logan's other dad?" She asked.

"Yeah this is he, what's wrong?"

"It's Anna, Logan's babysitter. She- it's okay sweety, daddy's coming- she woke up from her nap vomiting and had a slight fever. I tried calling Louis but he won't answer, I would take her to her doctor but I don't have a car right now." Anna explained then Harry could hear his daughter vomiting then letting out a loud wail.

"Could you give me your address?" Harry asked trying not to panic. 

After Anna had given him her address he broke a few traffic laws in order to get there as fast as he could then nearly jumped out of his car and finally frantically knocked on the door. A blond, short and tired looking girl opened the door giving him a confused look until she recognized him now knowing where Logan had gotten her looks from and without saying anything she let him in taking him to the small living room where Logan was laying down on the couch with her blanket over her.

"Daddy..." Logan cried louder extending her arms as soon as she saw Harry showing him she wanted to be picked up.

"Hi bug...what's wrong?" Harry mumbled picking her up noticing how warm she was.

"Nasty water's coming out daddy." She cried wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder shaking a bit while Harry rubbed her tiny back.

"Could you do me a favor?" Harry asked Anna then continued talking when she nodded, "Could you go with us to the doctor? I really don't know where Louis takes her, she had never gotten sick while I was with her and I really don't know what to do."

"Of course, let me just grab my coat." Anna quickly said sensing the desperation in his voice.

"Thank you, I promise I'll bring you back." Harry sighed bending down to pick up Logan's shoes to put them on her feet.

When Anna came back Harry already had a bundled up Logan in his arms waiting for Anna and before they left she covered her with her blanket not wanting the cold air to make her feel worse. Harry quickly drove to the hospital following Anna's directions and as soon as they were there Harry tried to get Logan without waking her up but sighed when she began crying and calling for Louis. Harry barely had time to run to a nearby trashcan when Logan started throwing up again while Harry held her with one arm and rubbed her back with the other until she was done then started crying again while Harry gave her water to rinse her mouth with.

They walked to the emergency room where they were quickly taken to a room to give her fluids and Harry had almost shouted at them to stop when Logan was practically screaming and thrashing while the nurse inserted an I.V. then set up a drip to keep her from dehydrating but stopped himself knowing it was for her own good no matter how many times Logan called for him to make them stop. Almost an hour later she was diagnosed with the stomach flu then was released from the hospital with a Toy Story band aid over her hand where the I.V. had been and a prescription Harry had to fill and instructions on how to take care of her, he dropped Anna off back at her flat thanking her a million times for helping him then headed back to his flat only making a stop to get her medicine.

By the time he got to his flat it was already four and he had already sent Louis a text telling him she was with him and what had happened while Logan was asleep next to him resting her head on his lap looking a little less pale than she had when he had picked her up. He couldn't continue enjoying the peace and quietness when Logan woke up crying for Louis not wanting Harry to even touch her when he tried to pick her up, he tried not to feel hurt when she rejected him knowing she was sick and fussy but it still hurt no matter how hard he tried.

"I'll be right back sweety." Harry got up wanting to go to the bathroom but stopped when she began crying not wanting him to leave.

That's how he spent the next hour dealing with his daughter who didn't want him to hold her at all but refused to let him out of her sight every time Harry even moved an inch saying that if he left the nasty water was going to comeback again referring to her throwing up. By five Harry was sitting on one end of the couch watching a shitty tv show while Logan was sitting on the other with recent tear tracks on her cheeks after crying for twenty minutes wanting Louis to get there and cuddle her, at that point Harry was beyond frustrated and he too just wanted Louis to get there so he could calm her down.

*~*

"Thank God you're here! She's been crying non-stop for you for the past hour and won't even let me touch her." Harry sighed letting Louis in.

"She doesn't want anyone but me when she's sick. What did the doctor say?" Louis asked taking in Harry's disheveled hair and tired expression.

"Stomach flu. Probably ate something that wasn't good anymore, he gave her some antibiotics...also...Anna had to sign her release form because she's in her emergency contacts list and I'm not, legally I am not her father and have no rights over her." Harry explained feeling a lump forming in his throat.

"But you are her father...she's as much yours as she's mine." Louis quickly said feeling bad.

"I know." Harry tried to smile but it quickly faltered.

"Daddy..." 

Louis turned around to see Logan clumsily running up to him making grabby hands at him. He picked her up noticing the tiny dark circles under her eyes then kissed the top of her head before she hid her face on his neck as he rubbed her back watching Harry walk towards the bathroom closing the door after himself, he was about to sit down on the couch when Harry's phone began vibrating and he rolled his eyes seeing it was an incoming call from Drew. He grabbed the phone sliding his thumb over the red circle instead of the green then put it back where it was taking a seat on the couch. He began to get frustrated when Drew kept calling over and over and Logan wouldn't stop crying because of a tummy ache and when he decided he had had enough he answered holding Logan with one arm.

"Hello?" Louis answered just as his daughter calmed down a bit.

"Lov- who is this?" Drew asked.

"It's Louis."

"Why are you answering his phone? Where is he?" 

"He's in the bathroom and I answered because you just won't stop calling, don't worry...he'll call back." Louis said then hung up not wanting to talk to him anymore.

After he hung up he heard the doorbell and groaned not believing that Drew was actually already there, he got up to open the door relaxing when he saw Liam holding a bag and Zayn, Niall and Eleanor behind him.

"What are you guys doing here?" Louis asked letting them in shifting Logan's limp body around.

"Harry texted me to tell me she's sick then I called them, we got you food." Liam answered just as Harry came back.

"Oh hey guys." He half smiled noticing Logan was asleep again.

"Can she sleep in your bed?" Louis asked and followed Harry when he nodded.

"That won't be necessary...I kinda have a room for her." Harry blushed opening a door gesturing for Louis to walk in.

The room was furnished in white furniture, a twin size bed against the wall in the middle of the room with a white duvet with butterflies on it. The walls were painted a light purple with a few framed pictures of different species of butterflies, there was a small desk on the other side of the room filled with different art supplies and in the corner was a small table and four chairs then a toy box with her name on the front.

"You did all of this?" Louis asked feeling all warm inside.

"Yeah, took me a while but I finished it. I was hoping you would let her spend the night in the near future." Harry smiled removing a few pillows from the bed fixing it then Louis tucked her in feeling her forehead finding out she wasn't warm anymore.

"Sure, she can spend it when she gets better." Louis said.

They went back to the living room where Liam was busy talking about wanting to have a camping trip as Harry took the food passing a to go box to Louis who took it sitting next to him.

"Well I'm in. It's been too long since I've gone camping." Eleanor smiled widely.

"Count us in." Niall said pointing at Zayn and himself who nodded enthusiastically.

"C'mon Lou, I know you love camping and this could be a great experience for Logan, she's never gone camping before." Eleanor pleaded when Louis declined.

"But she's sick." Louis argued.

"It won't be for another week or two, that gives her time to get better." Liam explained.

"...Okay...Are you going Harry?" Louis asked and just as he was about to answer the doorbell sounded around the flat and Harry quickly got up to get it to keep it from waking Logan up.

They continued talking about the trip while Harry attended whoever was at the door and after ten minutes Louis got tired of waiting and shouted at him if he was gonna go camping with them or not, he regretted shouting it when Drew walked in pulling Harry by the hand behind them. Louis swallowed a lump forming on his throat when he noticed them holding hands then looked away just as Harry let go of him and stood awkwardly next to him.

"You're going camping babe?" Drew asked making Louis finch at the word.

"Uh yeah."

"Who else is going?"

"All of us...And Logan." Harry answered.

"Aren't you gonna invite me?" Drew looked up at Harry as he and everyone else internally groaned.

"If- if you want to go you can." Harry said.

"Great!" Drew smiled wrapping his hands around his waist and all Louis could do was look away until he heard Logan crying again.

"We're gonna go...bye Harry." Louis said coming back carrying a fussy little girl in his arms then walked towards the door.

"Lou wait!" Harry almost yelled lightly pushing Drew away.

Louis noticed Drew couldn't see them anymore and relaxed while he listened to Harry telling him the instructions the doctor had given him and what to do in case she got worse which he doubted since she wasn't throwing up as often as she had been.

"Bye lovebug. I love you...to the moon and back." Harry said leaning in to kiss her cheek from where she was resting her head on Louis' collarbone then quickly gave Louis a small kiss on the lips startling him but then smiled a little.

"I'll see you later Lou, call me if anything happens." Harry smiled.

"Love you daddy." Logan sighed.

"Love you more." Harry said.

"I'll see you later." Louis smiled wrapping his free arm around Harry's waist while Harry wrapped his arms around them.

They quickly let go when they heard voices getting closer seeing it was Niall, Zayn, Eleanor and Liam who ended up leaving at the same time leaving Harry alone with Drew while Louis tried to ignore the thought of them doing something else other than snuggling together on the couch as he gave Logan a quick bath then her medicine.

*~* 

"Daddy we go camping today?" Logan asked bouncing up and down with excitement while Louis packed a bag with clothes and necessary items from the list Liam had sent him.

"Mhm, are you excited?" Louis smiled finishing what he was doing.

"Yes. Is daddy curly coming too?"

"Yeah...but he's not driving there with us." Louis frowned.

A week later after that day when arranging who was gonna drive with who Drew had immediately announced that he would be driving Harry leaving Louis to take his own car while Zayn, Niall, and Eleanor decided to ride with Liam. Louis needed to take his own car in case something happened which he was hoping it wouldn't.

"Why?" Logan asked wrapping her arm around Louis' thigh looking up at him.

"Because daddy is driving there with Drew." He explained picking her up.

"Daddy curly calls him asshole." Logan giggled remembering when Harry had called him that then after she had repeated the word Harry had freaked out telling her not to say it again.

"Daddy called him that?" Louis asked.

"Mhm." Logan lightly kicked his stomach to let him know she wanted to be put down.

It was still early in the morning when Louis left London and an hour and twenty minutes later he arrived in Forgewood where they were supposed to meet and while he unbuckled Logan he scanned the area noticing Drew standing way too close to Harry with Eleanor glaring at him while Harry awkwardly stood in between them. He could see Niall, Liam, and Zayn unloading bags from the car and as quickly as he could he grabbed her and the bags locking the car and walked up to them stopping only because Logan wanted Buttercup too sniff around in peace as she tightly held his leash even though it was wrapped around her wrist.

"Daddy!" She squealed running up to him hugging his legs and pushing Drew away who glared at her thinking no one was looking but completely oblivious to Eleanor's murderous glares.

"Hi lovebug, daddy missed you cause he hasn't seen you in forever." Harry bent down to pick her up leaving a two month old Buttercup in the ground who wasn't as small as he used to be while Louis waved back at Harry fondly rolling his eyes because he had seen her the day before and he was just exaggerating.

"Okay guys...I brought four tents, Zayn and Niall are sharing, El you're sharing with Louis and marshmallow?...Okay. Harry I take it your sharing with Drew and not me anymore?" Liam asked.

"He is." Drew answered before Harry could making Zayn glare at him.

"Alright...we should go...we still have to walk a little to get there." Liam said taking the lead with Harry and Drew following then Zayn and Niall ending with Louis and Eleanor walking together behind them.

"I can't stand Harry's bitch, he's so annoying...You should've seen him when an innocent bug landed on him, freaked out to no end." Eleanor rolled her eyes.

"Wow...I don't think he's used to being out in the wilderness." Louis stifled a laugh watching his daughter walking next to Harry holding his hand and pulling on the leash with the other.

They made it to the campsite in no time where Liam quickly got to work setting up the tents with Harry and Zayn's help while Eleanor looked around with Logan, Drew did nothing and Louis and Niall tried to clear their campsite. They were startled when Drew let out a scream and turned to look at him trying to shake something off while Logan stood next to him laughing because daddy's boyfriend looked funny.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked walking up to him grabbing him shaking off a harmless spider off of his shoulder.

"Why don't you..." Drew took a deep breath, "...why don't you ask your kid." He finished then glared at Logan who was hiding behind Harry's legs smiling mischievously at him.

"Hey don't look at her like that." Harry hissed grabbing Drew's arm in a tight grip.

"She threw a damn spider at me...You know I hate them." Drew said through gritted teeth while the rest of the group tried not to laugh.

Harry sighed then crouched down to Logan's level, "Logan...sweetheart did you threw that spider at him?" Harry asked looking at her with a serious look.

"No...she was my friend daddy, I wanted to show him my friend. Auntie El said she was cute..." Logan's eyes began watering looking at Harry with wide innocent green/blue eyes and pouty lips making Harry feel like shit for even thinking she could be capable of even having bad intentions.

"See? She didn't mean to, she was just trying to show you the spider." Harry got up after kissing Logan's forehead.

"She threw it at me! How is that showing me a spider." Drew snapped.

"She's four years old for God's sake and I believe her so calm down, it was just a harmless spider." Harry said then went back to helping Liam set up Louis' tent missing Eleanor and Logan high fiving each other then Eleanor smirking.

After that Logan got tired of walking around and walked up to Louis who was sitting on a foldable chair and sat on his lap watching Harry trying to set up a tent by himself then both of them laughed every time it came down again until Louis got up to help him, it was already getting dark when Niall and Louis lit up the campfire using a teepee structure missing the way Drew glared at Louis when Harry high fived him and Niall.

"Sugarplum, come sit next to me so I can fix your hair." Eleanor smiled patting the spot next to her smiling wider when she sat down next to her.

"Are you having fun pretty?" Eleanor asked while braiding her hair.

"Yes...but I'm sleepy." Logan yawned petting Buttercup who was always by her side.

"We'll go to bed soon but...Don't tell your daddies I told you this okay?"

"Okay."

"Daddy curly has to sleep with you and daddy Louis because he feels lonely and doesn't like sleeping alone, he would like it very much if he sleeps with you and cuddles you and daddy Louis. You promise you're gonna make daddy curly sleep with you?" Eleanor held out her pinkie.

"I promise. He never sleeps with me and daddy Lou." Logan sighed linking her pinkie with Eleanor's

"That's my girl!" Eleanor kissed her cheek looking at Drew hating the way he looked at Louis and Logan like they were the scum of the earth.

*~*

"Daddy you sleep with me okay." Logan pulled on Harry's fingers as soon as everyone decided to go to bed.

"Sorry bug but I can't, auntie El is sleeping with you and daddy." Harry sighed wishing it was him instead of her.

"I want you to sleep with me and we cuddle." Logan pouted pulling him harder but Harry didn't even move an inch.

"I'm sorry love..."

"Noooo...I want you to sleep with me." Logan began crying clinging to Harry's arm refusing to let go.

"I can share with Liam...look at her Harry, she's crying." Eleanor gave him the saddest look while Zayn mouthed a 'what's going on?' to her.

"Baby, daddy can't sleep with us." Louis knelt down next to her.

"He never sleeps with me and cuddles me." Logan wailed repeating what Eleanor had told her to say giving them the saddest look.

"Okay okay, I'll sleep with you and cuddle you." Harry immediately gave in.

"Harry...?" Drew made them remember he was still there.

"Just for tonight Drew, you know I hate seeing her cry." Harry said in a tone it meant it wasn't open for discussion.

"Fine! Do whatever you want." Drew sighed then walked up to his tent he had chosen because it was the farthest away from Louis' and now his choice was coming back to bite him in the ass.

"You don't mind?" Harry asked Louis after Drew had gone inside.

"No." Louis smiled.

"Alright well Niall and I are gonna go to bed. Goodnight...goodnight cupcake." Zayn kissed her cheek.

"Night uncle Zayn." Logan kissed him back finally pronouncing uncle correctly.

"Night monster." 

"Night uncle Niall." Logan giggled.

"We should go to bed too." Eleanor said to Liam who nodded then led her to his tent after saying their goodnights.

"We...uh, we should go to bed too." Louis said then followed Harry and Logan inside their tent.

Louis laid down on one side and Harry on the other with Logan in between them as the three of them shared two sleeping bags, one as a makeshift mattress and the other to cover themselves while Logan also had her blanket, Mr. Curls and Buttercup with her. Harry had never felt so at home as he did in that moment feeling Logan's hand wrap around his shirt unable to see her since it was almost dark but he could hear Louis humming a lullaby to get her to sleep as her grip slowly loosened up until her hand was only resting on his arm. He snuggled up closer to her making out the outline of her head resting on Louis' chest then wrapped his arm around her slightly touching Louis' stomach.

"Sorry..." Harry quickly pulled away feeling his cheeks heating up.

"It's okay...You can hug her you know." Louis quietly chuckled grabbing Harry's arm wrapping it around her while he brushed his fingers through her hair with his other hand.

Harry smiled scooting closer to them resting his head next to Logan's kissing the back of it, he fell asleep with a tiny smile on his face feeling like that's how he was supposed to fall asleep every night and not alone in his king size bed. The next morning he woke up it was to Logan sleeping on top of him, Buttercup by his head and Louis next to with his arm wrapped around them and his head resting on the spot where his neck ended and his shoulder started. Harry had one arm over Logan and the other underneath Louis holding him close to him and sighed in content wondering when all of them had moved around to wake up like this, he looked at his phone seeing it was still seven in the morning then closed his eyes going back to sleep pulling Louis closer to him after noticing how peaceful he looked and his long eyelashes fanning over his cheeks much like Logan's. The next time Harry woke up at the same time as Louis it was to see Logan sitting on his stomach singing the ABC just like Louis had taught her a few days earlier while she brushed Buttercup's fur, the dog patiently sitting in front of her staring up at her until she was done then reached into her bag pulling out a small blue bow clipping it to the fur on the side of his neck next to his collar.

"What a cutie...mummy made you look so cute. Mummy loves you okay? Okay." Logan cooed grabbing him by the nuzzle to kiss him in between his ears and he licked her face while Louis and Harry stared at her then at each other having just witnessed the exchange.

"Morning grandpa." Harry said trying not to laugh.

"Morning! Guess who gets to take his favorite grandchild out to do his business." Louis smiled giving him the leash getting comfortable under the covers.

Harry grumbled getting up take him out but not before he gave Logan a big good morning kiss leaving her cuddling next to Louis while she sang her ABC's to him. As soon as everyone was awake and had had breakfast with Logan managing to spill her Apple juice on Drew by accident and he had glared at her until Buttercup moved to stand in front of her barking at Drew in a way Louis nor everyone else had heard him bark before until Drew went to change his jeans. They managed to have a successful walk except for Drew annoying everyone by looking at his surroundings with disgust and trying to keep Harry away from Louis while Eleanor and Zayn whispered to each other how much they couldn't stand him at all.

Once they were back to their campsite was when all hell broke loose and Liam regretted ever telling Drew to at least gather some wood for the fire so he and Eleanor could cook lunch knowing Louis had already volunteered wearing the biggest smile. Harry who was sitting with Logan on his lap trying to convince her to let another spider she had found go home watched them as they left feeling uneasiness settling down on his stomach then went back to trying while Logan had the spider trapped in her hands close to her chest refusing to let it go much less letting Harry see it.

*~*

"There's another one right there." Louis pointed to a piece of dried wood bending down to pick up another.

"You need to stay the fuck away from him." Drew said out of nowhere.

"Excuse me?" Louis turned to look at him.

"You heard me. Do you think I don't know what you're doing." Drew walked up to Louis standing in front of him.

"And what exactly is that may I ask?" Louis tried to control his anger.

"Using your spoiled brat of a daughter to get him get back with you. Your 'fling' or whatever it was that you two had ended four years ago so get over it because there is nothing special between you two anymore." Drew almost growled.

"We have a daughter together. What do you two have that's so special? His dick up your ass? 'Cause trust me, if that's it then it's not so special after all." Louis smiled sweetly at him.

"Just like it was up yours but you know? At least I'll have the decency to not get pregnant just to trap him like you did and it didn't even work because he ended up leaving you and your twat anyway." Drew smirked.

"Shut up...You don't know shit about me." Louis took a step back feeling like he was suffocating because that's not how it had happened at all.

"You're just a slut, a slut who couldn't even give him the son he's always wanted and who knows, I might be able to but at least I'll wait and not get pregnant first chance I get." Drew continued with his taunting.

Louis hated himself the moment he felt the hot tears rolling down his cheeks because it was true, Harry had always wanted a son and all he had managed to give him was a daughter who he had kept away and a secret from Harry until he couldn't anymore. He cried because he wasn't a slut, he never asked for it and he certainly never asked to get pregnant.

"You're nothing but a cockslut." Drew continued smirking but it was soon wiped off when Louis punched him on the nose as hard as he could then walked off to where the others were.

Eleanor and Zayn who had witnessed almost everything went after him but not before Zayn punched him again calling him a fucking asshole then went after Louis to calm him down. When they got there Louis was frantically packing his and Logan's stuff crying his eyes out not even bothering to wipe away his tears while Harry held Logan in his arms as he and Liam tried to ask him what was wrong and Niall noticed a very pissed off Zayn and Eleanor followed by Drew who had a bloody nose.

"Louis what's wrong?" Harry desperately asked.

"Nothing! Give her to me, we're leaving." Louis reached for Logan as soon as he had their bags over his shoulders and the dog's leash on his hand.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Harry pulled her away from his reach.

"I said give her to me!" Louis cried harder.

"No, you need to calm down first." He tried to call him down but it only made things worse.

"Give me my daughter or I swear you won't see her ever again." 

"No, you need to-"

"Give her to me you fucking bastard! She's not yours!" Louis sobbed yanking her from his arms just as Logan let out a loud wail then Louis started walking towards his car.

"Louis wait!" Harry ran behind him grabbing him by the arm to stop him, turning him around.

"...What did I do? If I did something wrong I'm sorry, but please just tell what's wrong. What did I do?" Harry asked not even bothering to wipe his own tears away.

"Just let us go Harry." Louis mumbled but Harry only tightened his grip.

"Why don't you ask your shit of a boyfriend." Zayn snapped moving to stand next to Niall wrapping his arms around him.

"What did you do...Drew what did you do to him?" Harry asked turning to look at Drew.

"Nothing." Drew quickly said holding his shirt up to his nose to stop his nose from bleeding.

"Nothing? So calling Louis a slut, a cockslut and Logan a spoiled brat and a twat is nothing? Oh and telling Louis he only got pregnant to trap Harry is nothing specially when you don't know shit." Eleanor glared set on not letting him get away with it while Louis noticed Harry flinching at the word cockslut.

"You did...why would you do that?" Harry growled walking up to Drew leaving Louis rooted to his spot because Harry was angry.

"I'm tired of you always shoving me over to the side like I'm trash whenever he calls you. I understand it when it has something to do with with your daughter but him? I'm your boyfriend, he's just the father of your child...nothing else." Drew yelled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, you still had no right to talk to him like that...It's not his fault." Harry sighed.

"You know what? I'm tired of all this bullshit so you either pick them or pick me." Drew snapped.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked completely bewildered.

"You heard me, either you pick them or pick me." Drew glared at Louis and Logan while the rest stood there waiting for Harry's next words.

Harry stared at Drew then turned his gaze to look at Louis and Logan. He took in Louis' blood shot eyes and the way he held onto their daughter while she had her arms wrapped around his neck and her forehead resting on his cheek letting out tiny hiccups while both of them stared at him expecting him to answer and when Louis looked down and his bottom lip trembled Harry knew, not that he didn't before but that time he was completely sure and he was going to fight for him no matter what.

"Them." Harry answered unable to miss Liam's smile and a shocked Louis looking at him.

"What?" Drew hissed.

"You heard me, you told me to pick so I picked them and will always pick them no matter what, honestly I don't know why it took me this long to do this but we're over."

"Fine! Go fuck yourself idiot." He pushed Harry and walked away picking his stuff up and leaving, the tension broke when they heard him speed away.  
Harry walked up to Louis and Logan shyly standing in front of them, "I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that. None of the things he said are true, you're nothing of those awful names he called you." Harry said ignoring the others when he pulled them in into a hug.

That night after they had gotten back home after Louis had dropped Harry off and had apologized for calling him a fucking bastard, he went to bed alone like always but smiling because he knew Harry loved him and their daughter, he was happy because he had picked them instead of Drew even though he hasn't forgiven him yet. He was still in love with him and now all he had to do was find the right time to tell him, to let him know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_n0khcl87pb1ssc1j5o1_500_zps341cf849.gif.html)   
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> My tumblr: http://meloveniall1994.tumblr.com/  
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> Thoughts? :)


	18. Show me how to be whole again*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS SHOULD LISTEN TO CASTLE OF GLASS BY LINKIN PARK.  
> HOPE YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER! ;)

"You're gonna be good for Daddy, right?" Louis looked down at Logan who was holding Mr. Curls and her dog's leash while they waited in the elevator to take them to Harry's floor.

"Yes...You sleeping here too?" She asked moving her hair out of her eyes then grabbed Louis' hand.

"No, it's just daddy and you." Louis answered then crouched down to her level when she began pouting.

"I wanna sleep with you...And daddy curly, together." She began rubbing her right eye.

"I know baby but he wants to spend time with you, he's gonna play with you all you want and he's gonna read your favorite story to you so you can go night night." Louis smiled fixing her curls.

"And kiss me night night and sing me the song like you do?" Logan asked wanting to know those things or she won't go to sleep.

"Yes he will, he's really excited and tomorrow noon he'll take you back home okay." Louis lifted her hand he was still holding and kissed the back of her palm.

"Okay..." Logan said just as the elevator doors opened.

The Monday after they had gone camping which had been during the weekend Louis had agreed to let Logan spend the night with Harry since Harry had the days off then would be going back to work on Thursday meaning going back to seeing Drew who Harry had not talked to yet and honestly didn't want to after all the things he had said to Louis. Louis got up and walked out holding Logan's hand in one hand and her purple bag she had helped pack in the other after he had unpacked half the toys she had put in there in order to make her clothes and other necessities fit in there. He lifted her up so she could ring the doorbell then put her back down just as the door swung open and a smiley Harry appeared in front of them kissing Logan and telling them to come in smelling the lasagna as soon as they stepped inside.

"Are you making lasagna?" Louis asked just as Harry grabbed a few M&M's from a crystal bowl full of them sitting on top of his coffee table.

"Mhm, I made it for you guys." Harry gave four pieces of chocolate to Logan who gladly took them and ate then while Harry watched her making sure she wouldn't give any to the dog.

"Thanks...Oh and make sure you don't leave those there or she'll eat them and get hyper, you don't need that." Louis warned him not really wanting him to go through having a hyper Logan under his care.

"I'll move them later. C'mon, let's go eat." Harry smiled following Louis to the kitchen while Logan played with the toys she had packed mixing them with the ones Harry had gotten for her.

Louis watched Harry move around the kitchen setting the table for three instead of the usual one for just himself, he looked around noticing the picture Logan had colored for him for his birthday still pinned to the fridge and smiled noticing random pictures of Logan making silly faces.

"When did you take these?" Louis asked grabbing one to look at it closer where she was sticking her tongue out and was pulling on her ears.

"A few days ago when Eleanor brought her over." Harry answered taking the lasagna out of the oven.

"Eleanor was here? What was she doing here?" Louis asked turning around to fully look at Harry.

"I think she said you let her take Logan out for ice cream and then she came over to get Liam, he tagged along with them." Harry said checking the lasagna.

"Oh...Liam's all she talks about lately. Liam this, Liam that. Found her ranting to Logan how attractive and muscular he was." Louis shook his head smiling fondly.

"I think she likes him...Liam is so oblivious though. They should just make out and date." Harry said out of nowhere.

"You really think so?"

"Yeah...hey could you get the cups, there should be a plastic one for Logan too." Harry pointed to one of the cabinets in front of Louis.

Louis moved to get them then set them on the table looking at them then turned back around only to come face to face with Harry after he had set the lasagna down in the middle of the table. He moved to the left just as Harry did then laughed when both of them moved to the other side at the same time. Harry's eyes fell on a small leaf on Louis' hair and gently reached to get it out of his hair not noticing the way Louis looked at him until Harry showed him the leaf looking at it and smiling, Harry didn't notice he had started leaning in until his lips lightly brushed Louis'.

"Can I?" Harry murmured and Louis nodded feeling his warm breath fanning over his lips.

When their lips finally touched Louis slowly lifted his hands tangling his fingers in Harry's hair while Harry settled for resting his hands on Louis' left hip and lower back not moving them at all afraid of scaring him and keeping the kiss slow and sweet until what he was trying to keep PG turned into a full make out session the moment he felt Louis' tongue tracing his bottom lip and hands moving down his back then up again making him shudder in a good way. They only stopped when they ran out of air looking at each other until Louis kissed him one more time then turned around to call for Logan only to see that she was already standing there by the doorway looking at them with wide curious eyes and had probably been standing there for God knows how long witnessing the whole thing.

"Love! C'mon let's wash our hands so we can eat." Louis smiled walking over to her while Harry awkwardly served food on the plates.

"Why were you and daddy hugging so tight? Do you love him like uncle Zayn loves uncle Niall? He hugs uncle Niall tight because he loves him...uncle Zayn told me daddy." Logan asked while Louis picked her up to wash her hands.

"Of course I love daddy." Louis whispered so low Logan could barely hear him.

"Do you want lasagna?" Harry asked her.

"Yes." Logan smiled nodding furiously making Louis sigh in relief knowing she had already moved on from the subject.

They sat down to eat listening to Logan talk about anything that would catch her attention which was mostly about Buttercup and all the games she and Harry were going to play ending with asking Harry if he was going to sing to her like Louis did before bed.

"I'm gonna go, call me if anything happens...Don't forget she needs a bath before bed in like three hours, you need to read her the book she has in her bag and if that doesn't work then hum or sing to her Say Goodnight by Cher Lloyd...Oh and she needs to have her teddy bear and her blankie or she won't go to bed. If she drinks something before bed make sure she goes to the bathroom and she might or might not get up in the middle of the night to sleep with you...just letting you know." Louis finished giving Harry instructions as he nodded at every single thing Louis said.

"Got it." Harry smiled.

"Sweetheart I'm gonna go, be a good girl and listen to daddy, I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." Louis hugged her feeling like taking her back with him and like she was leaving for college already but Harry's excited face convinced him she was in good hands, Harry was her father after all.

"Love you too daddy." She wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hold.

"Have fun." Louis smiled giving Harry her bag then walked to the door followed by Harry who failed to notice Logan grabbing a handful of M&M's eating them two at a time and moving them away from Buttercup while she tickled his side.

Harry came back after she had finished them and as requested by Logan put in the first Toy Story movie for her to watch while he cleaned the kitchen after not letting Louis help him saying he didn't have to do it. After he was done he washed then dried his hands turning the light off before walking back to the living room where he could hear Logan loudly singing 'You've got a friend in me' seeing toys scattered everywhere and her jumping on the couch holding onto the back of it and the almost empty bowl of chocolates. He stared wide eyed at it then his eyes flickered to the hyper little girl jumping up and down shoving a last piece of chocolate into her mouth that was painted of different colors from the chocolates and some of it smeared on her left cheek. She stopped jumping and singing when she noticed him and gave him the most precious smile that had Harry's heart melting and unable to help himself he grabbed his phone and took a picture then moved the bowl away from her setting it on the kitchen island wondering why had he moved it when she had already eaten most of them.

He went back to the living room where she had resumed her jumping and squirmed when Harry grabbed her and sat down on the couch with her on his lap to watch the movie as he cleaned her face with a wet paper towel, it only lasted for a few minutes when Logan finally set herself free from Harry's grasp and moved to stand beside him messing with his hair and climbing all over him. By the time the movie was over Harry found himself playing the role of the ferocious Dragon trying to catch the princess to tickle her mercilessly who ran around the living room chanting 'you can't catch me' over and over until Harry caught her lifting her up into the air while she screamed then he lowered her back down blowing raspberries on her tummy then would tickle her until she was screaming 'mercy!' like he had taught her.

Harry gave her a big kiss on the cheek and put her back down sighing as he got ready to chase her again with the intention of tiring her out since her bedtime was an hour and a half away and after she took a seat on the floor almost falling asleep Harry sat down next to her feeling like he had run five hundred thousand miles. He gave her a bath then called Louis so she could say goodnight to him then tucked her in on his own bed after she refused to sleep on her own bed, he lay down next to her to read her 'Goodnight Moon'. Once he was done reading she was still wide awake chewing on her teddy bear's ear while Harry observed her then quickly turned off the light wrapping his arms around her bringing her closer to him trying not to disturb Buttercup with his feet.

"Daddy...sing me the night night song." Logan mumbled getting comfortable on Harry's warm naked chest.

"The one daddy Lou sings to you?" Harry asked kissing her forehead.

"Mhm." She mumbled.

"How about I sing to you our very own night night song?" Harry suggested.

"...Okay." Logan agreed after a few seconds of silence.

_"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping,_  
_I dreamed I held you in my arms._  
_When I awoke dear, I was mistaken,_  
_So I bowed my head and I cried._  
_You are my Sunshine,_  
_My only Sunshine._  
_You make me happy,_  
_When skies are grey._  
_You'll never know dear,_  
_How much I love you._  
_So please don't take,_  
_My Sunshine away."_

Harry finished the song and smiled when he noticed she had fallen asleep probably not from the song but from a sugar crash. He could see her pouty lips with the moon light and her button nose wondering how had he gone four years without her because now he couldn't stand to be away from her for more than one day. He kissed the top of her head and fell asleep with his arms around her protecting her from any harm.

*~*

It was already noon when Louis has just finished cleaning the wood floors, he stopped and looked around admiring his now clean flat then sighed putting all the cleaning supplies away not liking how silent his home was. Harry was due to drop their daughter off at any minute now and he just couldn't wait to see her again and see Harry too then smiled when he heard the doorbell. He opened it only to see Niall pinned against the wall making out with Zayn giggling every now and then, Louis made a face then cleared his throat gaining their attention as they quickly tried to fix their shirts and hair.

"Hi! Well...come in." Louis tried not to laugh.

"Where's my cupcake?" Zayn asked noticing how clean everything was.

"She spent the night with Harry...should be here at any minute now." Louis sat down on the couch gesturing for them to do the same.

"So...You get free time and you waste it by cleaning your flat?" Niall asked in disbelief."

"...Yeah. I finally cleaned everything plus I don't have anything else to do." Louis shrugged.

"How about going out and having fun." Zayn suggested wrapping an arm around Niall who rested his head on his chest.

"I didn't feel like it and I got a full night sleep. I feel great!" Louis smiled then smiled even bigger when he could hear Buttercup's barks and 'daddy Lou I'm home!' outside his door.

He got up and opened the door feeling Logan's arms wrapping around his legs and her precious face looking up at him, he smiled at Harry noticing how tired he looked but smiled back nonetheless.

"How was she?" Louis asked ushering him inside grabbing her bag on the way in.

"She was great! Thanks for letting her spend the night." Harry smiled hearing Logan madly giggling with Zayn and Niall.

"You don't have to thank me."

"I'm gonna be out of the country for a few days...work stuff in Hawaii at the fashion show, so I won't be able to take her to the park on Saturday. I leave Thursday night." Harry said feeling horrible for breaking his promise.

"Crap...I'm gonna have to leave Logan with my mum now." Louis murmured to himself.

"Why?"

"I'm one of the models and I was hoping to leave her with you and Anna would babysit her while you worked but you're going too." Louis explained.

"Why didn't you tell me before? They just called me today."

"It was last minute too and its something I can't refuse. I could leave her with El or Niall and Zayn but they're gonna be busy so I'll just ask mum."

"Gemma's off for the rest of the week...I could ask her and mum to come get her if your mum can't." Harry suggested.

"Okay...Yeah you do that." Louis smiled walking to the living room followed by Harry where Logan was on Zayn's lap attempting to read a book to him or more like making up her own story based on the images while Niall had a sleeping dog on his lap petting his soft fur.

"I'm going to Hawaii." Louis announced.

"What? When?" Zayn asked shifting his attention to him.

"I leave Thursday night and my mum or Harry's mum and sister are gonna come get her because Harry is going too." Louis explained while Harry texted her mum and Gemma then looked up at Louis.

"Gemma said they can come and pick her up Thursday afternoon...Oh and your mum's coming too."

"Okay...Logan you're gonna see Nana, Ninna and auntie Gemma." Louis smiled poking her tummy laughing when she looked at him then went back to reading to Niall.

"How have you been Harry?" Zayn asked.

"Good..." Harry smiled a little knowing how much Zayn didn't like him.

"You're exhausted aren't ya? I've been there mate, she just doesn't stop." Niall fondly smiled at Logan kissing the top of her head.

"Never does." Harry chuckled.

"You'll get used to it." Zayn smiled a little to him then focused his attention back on her.

"I gotta go, I have so many things to do. I'll see you later guys...Bye lovebug, love you." Harry got up ready to kiss her on the cheek but stopped when she puckered up her lips and gave him a kiss right on the lips.

"Love you too daddy." She giggled going back to reading while Harry looked at Louis wide eyed and Louis only shrugged it off then walked him out coming back minutes later.

He spent the rest of the day with them until Niall claimed it was getting late and they had things to do for the evening then left after Louis gave Zayn a knowing look and he winked in return. Louis then proceeded to ask Logan what had she and Harry done finding out she had eaten all of daddy's chocolates then had played lots and lots of games with her favorite being the princess and the Dragon where the Dragon would try to catch her to tickle her. Louis smiled as she told him she and Harry had their very own night night song and how much she had liked what Harry had given her for breakfast making him laugh when she told him it was toast from the French and she really wanted more.

"It's French toast baby, we can have it for breakfast tomorrow okay?" Louis kissed her forehead picking her up to give her a bath and after he was done he went to bed cuddling her close to him thinking about the one person who was missing at the moment.

*~*

The Thursday they were supposed to be leaving was all tears from Logan who clung to Louis and Harry not wanting to let them go while Anne, Gemma, and Jay tried to make her smile but failed. They were sitting next to each other, knees touching with Logan sitting on Louis' lap tightening her grip on Harry every time he moved while Louis rubbed her back to calm her down and when it was time for them to board the plane she burst out crying again pulling on their shirts.

"Don't leave me...daddies." Logan sobbed gasping for air when Louis gave her to Gemma.

"We're not leaving you love...Daddy and I have to work and I promise we're gonna call you everyday. You're gonna have lots of fun with your aunties...Don't cry." Louis grabbed her hands kissing them just like he did when she was just a few hours old then wiped away her tears trying not to cry himself because they had never been apart for more than one day and now he was leaving her for three days.

"Love you sweetheart, to the moon and back." Harry kissed her forehead picking up his carry on bag making her cry harder.

"You're gonna miss your flight." Jay reminded them.

"Bye love. Mum please take good care of her." Louis kissed Logan then his mum while Harry said his goodbyes to Anne and Gemma.

"Don't you worry Lou, she's in good hands. Call us when you get there." Jay hugged him.

Both of them grabbed their bags and started walking away hearing Logan calling for them breaking their hearts then looked back when her cries stopped seeing her hiding her face on Gemma's neck while she rubbed her back. Nineteen hours later they arrived in Honolulu trying not to fall asleep since it was still three pm and still Thursday while Louis resisted the urge to call Logan knowing it was one in the morning in Doncaster and she was asleep. They checked in into the hotel everyone participating in the fashion show was staying in finding out their rooms were next to each other while Louis couldn't help but be annoyed because no one had told them the show was that same night and that the rest of the trip was going to be only photoshoots to promote the clothing line and everywhere he looked he would catch people staring at Harry and himself.

*~*

"Yes we have a kid, so what!" Louis snapped at a random woman after hearing her talking about them living in sin for having a kid out of marriage while Harry ignored her trying to calm him down.

"Just ignore her Lou." Harry sighed focusing his attention back on his camera while Louis was getting his hair styled.

"I can't just ignore her when she literally called Logan, our daughter, a spawn." Louis hissed while the hairdresser tried to tune out their conversation.

"Our daughter's not a spawn and you know it, that woman is an ignorant. I have to go but I'll see you after its over...at the after party." Harry got up and gave Louis a side hug trying not to mess his hair then left while Louis had to stay back.

Louis sighed getting ready to walk down the runway ignoring that he was tired as hell and just wanted to go to sleep on his own bed next to Logan. Once it was his turn he brightened a little when he saw Harry smiling like an idiot giving him a thumbs up before he started taking pictures, he modeled two more outfits before it was over and after getting dressed back in his own clothes he headed over to the bar where he had seen Harry go. He found him standing next to and talking to April, one of the female models while she smiled listening to what Harry had to say.

"Louis!" April shouted moving forward to grab him by the arm to pull him close to her.

"Hey!" Louis smiled giving her a quick hug.

"Harry and I were talking about your daughter...You never told me he was the other dad." She smacked his shoulder as hard as she could sending him forward where Harry quickly caught him in his arms then steadied him.

"You never asked." Louis smiled ordering a piña colada with rum like the one Harry had in his hands.

"I did, I did ask you when I met her two years ago. She stole my heart, she was and still is so adorable." April gushed making Louis smile as well as Harry.

"Well she is mine and Harry's after all." Louis said taking a sip of his drink.

"Don't be too cocky Tomlinson! I...Oh crap, I have to go but I'll see both of you tomorrow." April gave Louis and Harry a hug before she left.

"I didn't know you knew her." Louis moved to sit next to Harry.

"I met her a year ago at that fashion week in New York. I thought you didn't drink." Harry pointed to the drink in Louis' hand.

"Not much...how about you?" Louis raised his eyebrows.

"I...I don't drink, April ordered for me." Harry put the drink down then pushed it away from him.

"I'll drink it." Louis shrugged taking it setting it in front of him.

They stayed silent observing their surroundings and occasionally greeting some of the guests who wanted to congratulate them both and it wasn't until midnight when Harry decided Louis had had enough and half carried, half dragged him out of the party while Louis protested a bit but then let Harry take him back to his hotel room. He let Harry believe he was drunk just so he didn't have to walk on his own feeling too lazy to walk without him supporting him but also feeling jet lag catching up to him and something else he was sure he wanted to do that night since they got back from their camping trip.

Harry stumbled through the door of Louis' hotel room half dragging half carrying Louis closing the door after them then put Louis down on the bed, he cursed himself for letting him drink not knowing that after two drinks he'll be ready to pass out or at least that's what it looked like to him. He put him under the covers and was about to leave when a hand stopped him, turning around he noticed Louis wide awake looking at him.

"Where are you going?" Louis asked tightening his grip on Harry's hand.

"I'm going to my room, go to sleep." Harry quietly said.

"I don't want you to go...please stay, or at least stay until I fall asleep." Louis mumbled looking up at Harry with wide blue eyes and who was Harry to say no to him.

He nodded and got under the covers next to Louis thinking about how he shouldn't be doing it but Louis had asked him and he just couldn't say no to him. He laid down on his back then looked at Louis who had his eyes open staring at the ceiling then decided to close his eyes to pass time until Louis was fast asleep, he had been like that for five minutes when he felt the bed moving and Louis shifting around. His eyes snapped open when he felt Louis' hands resting on his chest and saw him straddling him holding himself up on his knees looking down at him while biting on his bottom lip.

"Louis what- what are you doing?" Harry asked trying to get out from his grasp only to have Louis fully sit on his stomach pushing him down with his hands.

"Make me forget Harry." Louis whispered on Harry's ear sending shivers down his spine.

"You're drunk Louis, you don't know what you're doing." Harry tried to push him off but stopped when he saw Louis' hurt expression.

"I only had a sip of one then threw away the other one. I'm not drunk and I do know what I'm doing. I want you to make me forget that night, I want you." Louis said latching onto Harry's neck kissing and lightly biting on the skin.

"I'm sorry Louis, I really am but I can't do this. You're not thinking clearly and I don't wanna hurt you again." Harry managed to say and not moan it out.

"You- you owe it to me and-" Louis paused then moved backwards to sit on Harry's crotch slowly rotating his hips in small circles making Harry gasp, "and I'm horny...I don't know why I am, I always am so horny once a month ever since I had your kid and its your fault."

"Lou- Louis..." Harry moaned beginning to get hard as Louis sped up his movements, he could feel his bum right on top of his cock and it was driving him crazy.

"My hand won't do anymore, I- I need something inside me, I need you. You're the only one who's ever been inside of me, I've never had anything inside me other than you." Louis whispered on Harry's ear all the while nibbling on his ear lobe while Harry thought about how his hand wasn't doing it for him either after four years.

"I- I can't." Harry shook his head once again trying to get out from underneath Louis knowing that if he kept moving like that he would come in his pants at any minute.

"Please...all I want is to forget, I just want to forget. I want you." Louis stopped moving and looked at Harry in the eyes feeling how his own eyes filled with tears.

"You'll hate me in the morning, you don't really want this but you think you do. You don't want this." Harry closed his eyes resting his hands on Louis' hips.

"I won't hate you...please." Louis whispered desperately and that's when Harry lost all sense of control pulling Louis down kissing him hard as teeth collided with teeth but none of them seemed to mind or care when both of them had waited a long time to do this without fear taking over and Louis just wanted to be and feel whole again.

Louis began moving his hips again faster than before until Harry flipped them around resting in between Louis' legs trailing kisses down his jaw to his collarbones then back to the spot below Louis' ear. He sat up and with a quick movement took his shirt off as Louis did the same as fast as he could then lowered himself to continue kissing him rubbing himself on Louis' own hard on and feeling him wrapping his legs around his waist and his heels pushing down on his bum bringing him closer to him. Louis unwrapped his legs from around his waist then slowly unbuttoned Harry's pants trying to pull them off, he flipped him around to where Harry was on his back and slowly pulled them off along with his boxers then got up in front of him shyly getting rid of his own then took them off completely remembering Harry had already seen him naked leaving both of them completely naked. Louis eyes' widened at Harry's size trying to remember if it had always being that big as he also wondered if he'll be able to fit it in inside of him at all.

"Why are you curvier? I don't remember you being that curvy." Harry said breaking the silence letting his eyes roam through his body as Louis climbed on top of him straddling him.

"I carried a baby for nine months, I had to make room for her." Louis answered pressing his lips against Harry's kissing him slow then more desperate.

"God you're beautiful, so so beautiful." Harry mumbled in between kisses letting his hands run through Louis' sides then the curve of his back and bum.

Louis began rolling his hips at a rapid pace feeling his erection rubbing Harry's own, he moved to where the tip of Harry's dick was right at his entrance as he slowly moved back and forth feeling it nudging at it and feeling like he was about to explode from the feeling too overwhelming for him yet he only wanted to feel more of him.

"Wait...I don't- I don't have anything." Harry said trying to make Louis stop.

"Top drawer on your left." Louis answered breathlessly then Harry moved to open the drawer.

"Why do you have this?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow after grabbing a small bottle of lube.

"I need it for when I'm horny...like all the time." Louis said in a duh tone getting off of Harry laying down next to him.

Harry clumsily opened the bottle coating his fingers with the liquid then looked up at Louis asking him if he was sure then slowly and carefully inserted a finger inside of him feeling the tight warm walls around it after Louis had nodded telling him he wanted him to do it and to don't stop. He inserted another one when Louis gave him the okay and started moving them around searching for that spot then began stretching him open after he found it making Louis whimper in pleasure. He kept doing the same until Louis was ready for a third one and as soon as he had gotten used to the feeling of three fingers inside of him he pushed Harry's hand away and watched as Harry hesitantly lubed himself up with enough lube to make it more comfortable for Louis. As fast as he could Louis pushed Harry on his back supporting himself on his knees grabbing Harry's erection guiding it towards his entrance, he buried his face on Harry's chest when he began lowering himself on Harry not stopping at all feeling that familiar burn as he moved to fit more of Harry inside of him.

"L- Louis...stop, you- you have to go slow. It's hurting you." Harry grabbed his hips making him stop.

"It's supposed to, it's supposed to hurt like that. You're supposed to go fast like the last time." Louis mumbled breaking Harry's heart, making him hate himself for forcing Louis to believe that that's how sex was supposed to be and feel like.

Harry kissed his forehead then slowly pulled out and gently grabbed Louis pushing him down on his back spreading his legs to get in between them. He observed Louis then leaned down kissing him softly caressing his cheek then slowly entwined his hands with Louis' peppering his face with tiny full of love kisses. Louis not knowing how to react or what to do let Harry kiss his shoulder then his chest then back to his lips staying still for him. He closed his eyes feeling Harry's lips all over his face then his shoulders then held in a whimper grabbing fistfuls of the bed sheets as the images of his last time with Harry began coming back now that they were in the same position they had been in that last time. For an unknown reason he braced himself to hear those same words Harry had said to him years ago as he fought the images away but instead he felt his heart skip a beat at what Harry said while he ran his fingers through his hair making him shiver.

"I'll show you what it's really supposed to feel like...What making love really feels like. I love you angel." Harry whispered resting his head on Louis' shoulder.

Louis could feel him entering him, stretching him open going slow and stopping a few times to let him adjust as he closed his eyes focusing on Harry's soft skin and not the pain as he ran his hands up and down his back. Once Harry was all the way in he stopped moving letting Louis get used to him and waiting for him to tell him to move but truth be told, he was in no hurry to move because all he wanted to do was feel Louis around him and stay there forever.

"You- you feel bigger." Louis muttered making Harry lift his head up to look at him.

"Well...I did get older." Harry said wearing a tiny smile giving him a small kiss when he began blushing.

"I'm- I'm ready...You can move." Louis said wrapping his arms around his neck giving him a quick kiss.

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."

Harry slowly pulled out then pushed back in letting out a tiny moan at the sensation, he grabbed Louis' thighs and pulled his legs up folding them at the knee just as he wrapped them around him feeling Louis' heels on his bum as he went in deeper changing the angle until he was hitting Louis' spot every time he would push back in listening as his moans got louder and louder mingling with his own. He kept a slow steady pace kissing him gently until Louis desperate for more began bouncing back and forth to meet his thrusts whining when Harry grabbed his hips stopping him.

"Harry please...faster." Louis said grabbing his hands pulling them away from his hips.

"I- I don't wanna hurt you..." Harry mumbled going slow setting his own pace.

"You won't...It's- it's been too long, just p- please." Louis ran his hands through Harry's back then his fingers through his hair pulling a bit on it.

Harry hesitated at first but then sped up his thrusts holding onto the headboard with one hand and Louis' hand with the other one feeling Louis' nails scratching the left side of his sweaty back and digging into the skin the closer Louis got and the faster Harry moved inside of him, both of them knowing they wouldn't last longer. Louis was the first one to feel that familiar tightening on his stomach as he kissed him, and moaning his name into the kiss he curled his toes coming like never before coating both of their chests as Harry's mouth drowned any kind of sound he made. Harry moved faster and soon enough Louis could feel his warm load being released inside of him wanting to moan at the feeling but no sound would come out of his mouth and in his cloudy mind he knew he had forgotten something but decided to ignore it focusing his attention on Harry who was still inside of him.

Louis sleepily looked at Harry in the eyes and just knew, "...I love you Harry...I still do, I really do, so so much." He whispered placing his hand on his cheek tracing his lips with his thumb then pressed his lips against Harry's for a short kiss.

"I love you more, I love you so so much." Harry smiled letting his lips linger over Louis' not really knowing how to feel other than a need to just hold him close and never let him go ever again.

Harry carefully pulled out and grabbed his boxers to wipe Louis and himself off while Louis stared at him with sleepy eyes wearing a tiny smile, Harry lay down next to Louis smiling when Louis cuddled up to him under the covers then brushed his chestnut hair damp with sweat out of his forehead. A few hours later after Louis was fast asleep in his arms he began wondering how Louis would react the next morning making his chest hurt at the thought of Louis hating him again as soon as he woke up, he tightened his hold around him trying to enjoy the feeling of having Louis in his arms unable to push away the thought of Louis waking up regretting and realizing he had made a mistake. And as he fell asleep he let the tears roll down his cheeks realizing that what he and Louis had just done only made his feelings for him grow even more to the point where there was no escape and he could no longer live without the love of his life. He silently cried because he had said I love you after waiting for too long and hoping to hear him say it yet he knew he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserved them and their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Thoughts? ;)


	19. I want you here with me, like how I pictured it*

Louis slowly opened his eyes feeling a weight on his chest and when he turned his head to the other side he was met with wild curly hair darker than Logan's, he lifted his head to see Harry laying in between his legs with his arm wrapped around his torso. He tried to move but stopped when he felt pain shooting out from his lower back all the way to his entrance remembering what had happened the night before and a few seconds later he smiled just a little. He froze when Harry shifted onto his side next to Louis and tightened his hold on him bringing him closer to him, Louis continued smiling while observing the sleeping man next to him until it faded away noticing Harry's red nose and swollen eyes he knew so well it only happened hours after crying for so long. He pulled back a little trying to ignore the ache in his chest and the hurtful thoughts that maybe Harry regretted having sex with him after he practically begged him to, he tried to ignore the fact that maybe Harry pitied him. He quickly closed his eyes again when Harry began stirring and felt his lips on his forehead while he pulled him closer to him making him nuzzle his face on his neck to get comfortable then relaxed when he felt Harry's fingers running through his hair and his other hand rubbing circles on his lower back.

"You- you don't regret it, do you?" Louis mumbled after a few minutes wanting to know startling Harry in the process.

"Of course not...I thought you would." Harry confessed watching as Louis sat up to look at him.

"Is that why you were crying? I don't. I don't regret it at all." Louis said then lay back down resting his leg over Harry aware of their naked state feeling somehow comfortable.

"I thought you would." Was all Harry said.

They stayed like that both looking at each other never taking their eyes off until Harry moved his head a few inches forward just to steal a kiss ignoring their morning breath and smiling into the kiss when Louis immediately kissed back. Louis got onto his back pulling Harry on top of him wrapping his legs around his waist just like he had done the night before and it wasn't until he felt Harry getting hard again that he remembered everything.

"Harry?"

"Hmm...?"

"We...get off. Get off, now!" Louis pushed him off of him sitting up as soon as Harry was gone looking at him with wide blue eyes.

He watched as Harry quickly moved away all the way to the other side of the bed using the bed sheet to cover himself trying not to cry but failed when he felt a single tear rolling down his cheek knowing it was all over. He quickly wiped it off feeling a heavy weight on his chest realizing his worst nightmares were coming true, Louis regretted it even after he had said he didn't and Harry didn't know what to do other than get off the bed and frantically search for his clothes and wait until he was in his own room to let it all out.

"H- Harry...where are you going?" Louis asked from the bed not moving at all.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you again." Harry quickly put his shirt then his pants on.

"What are you talking about? You didn't hurt me...dammit Harry look at me!" Louis finally had enough and got off the bed walking towards Harry not caring if he was stark naked and his bum hurt like a bitch.

"That's all I seem to do don't I? Hurt you over and over again." Harry said refusing to look at him.

"No you didn't. I wanted to...I'm not regretting it and I don't hate you." Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's abdomen relaxing when he felt Harry's arms around him.

"Then- then why did you pushed me away?" Harry mumbled and Louis couldn't help but notice how vulnerable he sounded.

"We...we uh, we forgot to use a condom." Louis confessed closing his eyes when Harry stiffened.

"What?" Harry pulled away from Louis.

"You forgot to use a condom." Louis repeated in an accusatory tone blaming Harry for it not really knowing why since both of them were to blame.

"I forgot...I forgot the condom? How...how- Fuck!" Harry began pacing back and forth rubbing his hands on his face.

"Harry?"

"What are we gonna do?" Harry asked sitting down on the bed pulling Louis down on his lap.

"I don't know but I don't want another baby." Louis sighed trying not to panic because if he got pregnant again he would no longer be able to work at least until it was born and how the hell was he going to tell everyone he was knocked up again and Harry was the father.

"I don't either. What about that morning after pill, my assistant Gracie got one...c'mon, get dressed. We're gonna go get it." Harry said grabbing Louis' shirt putting it on him.

Louis quickly changed into new clean clothes while Harry did the same in his own hotel room and once they were ready Harry drove to a near pharmacy while Louis felt awkward because people were going to figure out he had had sex. He relaxed when Harry grabbed his hand and squeezed it a bit to comfort him.

"I'll go in and buy it okay." Harry said parking on an available spot.

"No, I'll buy it. I'll just tell them it's for my girlfriend." Louis sighed getting out of the car.

"Want me to go with you?" Harry asked.

"Just wait for me here okay...love you." Louis said then shut the door before Harry could say it back leaving him wide eyed and happy.

Harry watched as Louis walked to the entrance trying not to limp and felt bad knowing it was his fault he was limping in the first place, he rested his head on the back of the seat staring at the steering wheel of the car he had rented noticing it was still eight in the morning meaning they had two hours to call Logan before her bedtime. Fifteen minutes later Louis came back holding a small brown bag and a water bottle and once he was in the car he took out a box containing two small pills taking one and telling Harry to remind him to take the other one in twelve hours. Once they were back in the hotel Louis hid the bag from view and headed back to his room expecting Harry to follow so they could call their daughter, they settled down on the couch and dialed Jay's number making sure to put it on speaker.

"Louis?" Jay's voice came through the speaker.

"Hey mum, Harry's here and you're on speaker." Louis said.

"Oh...hi Harry. How are you guys?" Jay asked.

"We're good. How's Logan?" Louis asked noticing he couldn't hear anyone on the background.

"Is she doing okay?" Harry asked worried that she might still be crying.

"She's really doing great, everyone's keeping her entertained and she hasn't cried at all. Gemma took her and the girls out to eat and do some shopping earlier today. She's been staying here at Anne's with Gems in your room Harry." Jay said.

"That's good." Louis sighed out of relief.

"Could we talk to her?" Harry asked taking his phone out sending a text to Gemma and their mum telling them that he'll call them later.

"Course...let me just go get that sneaky little girl." Jay said then they could hear shuffling on the other end, silence, then it was filled with laughter. Harry shyly took Louis' hand in his smiling when Louis immediately tightened his hold on it while they waited for Jay to put Logan on the phone.

"Daddies?" Logan spoke as her voice trembled a little and Louis knew she was about to cry.

"Hi love. What have you been up to? Are you having fun?" Louis asked missing her more than ever.

"You coming home now daddy? Daddy curly coming home too?" Logan asked.

"Not yet love. I miss you sweetheart." Louis sighed.

"I miss you too. Where's daddy curly?"

"I'm right here lovebug. Are you being a good girl." Harry asked.

"Yes. I played lots with Daisy, Phoebs, and Cassandra...her mummy let me hold the little baby Issac but he cried and auntie Gemma said he was sleepy. Daddies he sleeps a lot, all day long and doesn't do anything but eat, cry and poop." Logan heavily sighed and both Louis and Harry tried not to laugh.

"That's because he's still very little, you used to sleep a lot too when you were little like him." Louis explained while moving to sit next to Harry pressing his body to his side.

"And eat and poop a lot?" Logan gasped.

"Yeah...You pooped on uncle Zayn once." Louis laughed.

"Did not!" She burst out laughing.

"You did. What else did you do?" Louis asked feeling Harry's chin on his shoulder.

"Daddies I want a baby brother too like Cassy...but one that doesn't poop. Please." Logan said making Louis and Harry stiffen thinking about how they almost gave her one.

"Not right now love. What else did you do?" Harry asked her trying to get her mind off of it because it wouldn't be happening and he wasn't sure if it ever would.

"Ninna made cookies and auntie Gemma got me a dolly."

"Did you say thank you?" Louis moved closer to the phone.

"Mhm...Daisy that's my cookie!" Logan yelled the last part.

"Logan please don't yell." Louis scolded her even though he wasn't there.

"Bye, love you daddy Lou. Love you daddy curly." Logan rushed out while Harry and Louis stared at each other in confusion.

"Love you too lovebug."

"Love you baby, bye."

"Boys? It's Anne." She said pickling up Jay's cellphone after Logan had left it abandoned on top of the kitchen table.

"Hey mum...where did she go?" Harry asked.

"Gemma organized a movie marathon with popcorn and everything. Gemma just called her...she didn't know you were talking to her. I could go get her if you want." Anne offered.

"No it's okay Anne, we have to leave for a photoshoot anyway. Thanks again for watching her." Louis said looking at the time on his phone.

"We have to go mum, I love you and please give Logan a big kiss for us." Harry said.

"Alright, love you boys." She said before hanging up leaving them in a comfortable silence after Louis ended the call saying a quick I love you to his mum.

"I'm gonna go get ready." Harry said not moving at all making Louis smile.

"Yeah me too." Louis moved to stand up but stopped when Harry grabbed his hand.

"Did- did you really mean it? You still love me...I- I just want to make sure it wasn't just a dream." Harry looked down then forgot how to breathe when Louis crawled into his lap placing his knees on either side of him.

"I never stopped...not even after all the things you did to me." Louis began.

"I'm sorry, I really am and-" Harry quickly began to apologize all the way from the depths of his soul meaning every single word but Louis shushed him putting his hand over his mouth.

"Let me talk okay. Don't interrupt me, just listen." Louis said removing his hand off of his mouth leaving them on Harry's shoulders.

"I don't hate you and I still love you...I'll never stop loving you no matter what, I will always do but...You really hurt me. You really did and you have no idea how many times I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so hopeless, so used and pathetic. I felt hopeless because I didn't know what I was gonna do with a baby when I could barely take care of myself, I felt used because that's what you did...You used me. I felt pathetic because part of me still loved you like the first time I realized it and wanted to find you and tell you, 'hey, I know you hate me but we're gonna have a baby. The least you could do is not hate it like I sometimes do.' I hated her Harry, I hated every time she moved and it hurt...You hurt me." Louis broke down crying on Harry's shoulder while Harry felt the familiar ache on his chest letting the tears roll down his cheeks hugging Louis tight.

"I'm sorry, if I could take it all back I would. I would change everything, I would take back the very first time I made you cry...I would take back the day I hit you for the very first time and that night but I can't and I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry...I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but please. Please forgive me..." Harry whispered the last three words rocking Louis back and forth cupping his head with his hand but stopped when Louis pulled back to look at him looking like he might break at any moment.

"I can't...I want to but I can't. I'm sorry...every time I think about it I can't stop thinking about everything you ever did and said to me, all the times you humiliated me." Louis looked down.

"Lou..." Harry let out a choked sob.

He never expected Louis to forgive him but to hear him say it felt like a stab straight to his heart and soul confirming his worst fears, he slowly let go of Louis losing all hope and at that point even touching him hurt. He knew he didn't deserve them and after wiping his tears away with his sleeves he looked up at Louis and nodded letting him know he had understood then leaned forward to kiss his forehead then his lips letting them linger knowing that maybe that would be his last chance to do it.

"...Let's start over, I don't wanna lose you again." Louis mumbled resting his head on Harry's shoulder wrapping his arms around him surprising Harry.

"But you said..."

"I just need time, that I can't forgive you yet doesn't mean I don't love you. We could start over again, we could try if you want to and...maybe one day I'll forgive you." Louis said hiding his face on the crook of Harry's neck relaxing when he felt Harry's lips on the side of his head and his hands rubbing his back.

"I love you Louis, always. I'll do anything for you, I promise you won't regret any of this." Harry nuzzled his face on Louis' shoulder staying like that until they had to get ready and Harry went back to his room but not before giving Louis small sweet kisses whispering sweet nothings on his ear making him blush like a teenager.

*~*

"Finally. I thought I was gonna die and," Louis got closer to Harry to whisper on his ear, "my ass still hurts."

"Sorry about that, shouldn't have gone that fast." Harry blushed looking down at the camera he was holding.

"Don't worry about it...Oh and remember I have to take the last pill at eight. The pharmacist said I should take a pregnancy test in a few weeks." Louis said as he waited for Harry to get his stuff while everyone had left after thanking him.

"W- why? It's not like you're gonna get pregnant." Harry began to freak out like a teenager after being told he could become a father in nine months even though he already had a kid.

"Just to be sure...Don't worry, I won't get pregnant." Louis reassured him sensing his panic feeling the same, they weren't ready and like Harry he didn't want another baby.

"Okay then. I was...I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me tonight...dinner?" Harry asked.

"Like a date?" Louis asked feeling his face heating up.

"Yeah. You don't have to if you don't want to." Harry chewed on his bottom lip.

"NoNo, I'd love to go." Louis quickly said.

"Okay, I'll pick you up at 7:30." Harry smiled.

When Louis got back to his hotel room he barely had time to take a shower and get ready for his date and as he got ready he couldn't help but feel a ton of butterflies on his stomach at the thought that Harry had finally asked him out on a date. In that moment what he went through no longer mattered and even though he couldn't forgive him yet he still couldn't wipe the smile off of his face and when he heard a knock on his door it only grew wider. He opened the door to see Harry dressed in formal garments just like himself and just like him he couldn't stop smiling and before he could say anything Louis held up a finger gesturing for him to wait then went back and pocketed the small pill since he couldn't afford to miss it or he'll be screwed. He looked around making sure he had everything then went back to Harry closing the door after himself.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked pulling himself away from the wall.

"No, I just needed to get that pill." Louis smiled.

"Oh..."

"So...where are you taking me?" Louis asked not knowing if it was okay to hold his hand then smiled when Harry took it feeling how warm it was.

"Dinner." Harry answered smiling a bit.

"I know but where to?"

"It's a surprise. If I tell you it won't be anymore."

Louis smiled and stopped asking letting Harry guide him towards a series of corridors then to the elevator where once they were inside he pressed the button to take them down to the lobby then to the car letting Harry get the door for him waiting for him. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Harry stopped in front of the Azure Restaurant making his jaw drop because he had always wanted to go there but had never had the time to travel out of the country much less just to go eat at some restaurant. Harry got out of the car while Louis was still too stunned to move then slowly got out when Harry opened it for him then walked up to the door hand in hand.

"Hi, I have a reservation for Styles." Harry politely smiled to the young hostess earning a nice genuine smile when she saw their linked hands.

"Of course Mr. Styles. Right this way please." The girl whose name tag read Alanna guided them all the way to a table right outside the restaurant where Louis could see the beach.  
Harry pulled out Louis' chair then sat down in front of him never losing his smile and that small sparkle on his eyes while Louis looked around admiring the beach and enjoying the gentle breeze. He noticed their table was the only one there and the candles on it that along with the soft twinkle lights gave it a cozy and homey feeling.

"So...You like it?" Harry nervously asked pulling Louis out of his thoughts.

"I love it, it's perfect. Did you plan all of this." Louis asked learning forward.

"...Yeah, I did before we left for the photoshoot after we talked. I wasn't sure you would accept but I took my chances anyway." Harry smiled taking to take Louis' hand on his.

"It's perfect." Louis beamed.

They were interrupted by the waitress who introduced herself as Millie bringing them an array of breads with a special clam dip along with their best wine, she left after talking their order of Azure Sashimi when both of them decided to have the same thing.

~*~

"It took her a while to walk on her own after she fell on her bum the first time." Louis said after Harry had asked him how long it had taken her to walk.

"Poor thing. Hey, did you know I was born walking? I was a pro by the time I was ten months old." Harry wiggled his eyebrows fighting a grin.

"Oh please, you couldn't even walk without tripping on your own feet...And I heard your mum telling my mum you didn't started walking until you were almost two. Logan was a year and a half and Anne said you sucked on your thumb until you were five, now I know why she can't quit the habit." Louis smirked.

"Well at least I wasn't six...she gets it from you love." Harry said grinning when Louis began blushing unaware that he was blushing because of what he had just called him not because Harry knew he too sucked on his thumb until he was six years old.

"How about she gets it from the both of us, that's fair enough." Louis said still feeling those damn butterflies.

"Yeah that's fair enough." Harry said moving backwards when the waitress arrived with their food leaving the bottle of wine behind.

They ate their food in silence enjoying the sound of the waves and the food glancing at each other every now and then and after they were done Harry suggested Louis order dessert for both of them smiling when he ordered his favorite, a caramelized coconut flan. As soon as they were done and Harry had paid the check refusing to even let Louis pay half of it they left the restaurant after thanking both the waitress and the hostess then Harry guided Louis towards the beach telling him to not be shy and take off his shoes so they could walk close to the water.

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked breaking the silence as they walked along the beach hand in hand holding their shoes with the other.

"You. All of this, it feels like a dream and- ow!" Harry quickly let go of his shoes to rub the spot on his arm where Louis had pinched him.

"I can now confirm you're not dreaming young Harry." Louis tried not to laugh.

"Payback...." Harry murmured and before Louis had time to register what was going on Harry was all over him tickling his sides.

"N- no...Harry!" Louis shrieked trying to push Harry's hands away from him.

Louis stumbled backwards laughing and trying to tickle Harry back until he fell on his bum bringing Harry down with him where he continued until Louis pushed him on his back and straddled his waist bending down to kiss him licking his bottom lip for entrance until Harry gave in and wrapped his arms around his waist deepening the kiss. Louis pulled back when he heard the waves getting closer while Harry tried to follow his lips but stopped when he felt his feet getting wet then got up after Louis got off of him helping him up as well.

"This...this was the best night ever." Harry whispered pulling Louis into a hug nuzzling his face on his neck.

"Yeah."

"I love you Angel." Harry whispered so only Louis could hear smiling when he felt warm lips on the back of his neck.

"I love you too Hazzabear." Louis said noticing how Harry's breath hitched and his heart beat a little faster at the use of his old nickname before it slowed down again then Harry pulled back looking at him with watery eyes.

"We should go back, it's getting kinda chilly and I don't want you getting sick." Harry took Louis' hand and walked back to the car after getting and putting their shoes on.

"Why did you bring the car? The hotel's not too far away." Louis asked as they walked through the lobby after driving back from the restaurant.

"It's dark and there are almost no paths, I didn't want anything bad to happen to you." Harry tightened his hold on Louis' hand.

"Oh...Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

~*~

"Here we are Mr. Tomlinson, right at your doorstep and on time." Harry said making Louis giggle and roll his eyes.

"I'm surprised you brought me back on time." Louis fake gasped earning a hey from Harry.

"Thanks...I had a really great time." Louis said opening the door to his room.

"I had a great time too, thank you for letting me take you out even after...everything." Harry looked down fiddling with his fingers.

"Let's not think about that okay? All that matters is that we had a great time and I really enjoyed spending time with you." Louis said then kissed his cheek slowly pulling back never losing eye contact with him.

"Me too. I'll-I'll see you tomorrow morning for breakfast and to call Logan." Harry said while Louis looked around nervously before he began speaking again.

"You could...sleep here with me if you want to. You don't have to if you don't want to." Louis said holding the door open.

"Okay- yeah...I just let me go get changed and brush my teeth." Harry said then headed to his room.

Louis busied himself with changing into a white t-shirt leaving only his boxers on then brushed his teeth and by the time Harry was back knocking on his door he was ready to go to sleep. He let him in and without saying anything shut the light off and grabbed Harry's hand guiding him towards the bed where he noticed the brand new clean sheets and got under the covers with Harry following after him. Louis quickly settled down resting his head on Harry's chest throwing an arm over it while Harry brushed his fingers through his hair and rubbed small circles on his back helping Louis relax his muscles. 

He sighed in content then closed his eyes unable to stop thinking about the night they had shared together wanting to give himself to Harry again but couldn't since none of them had condoms and he was still trying to get used to the idea of actual sex. The more Louis thought about it the more his blood rushed south making him get harder by the minute until Harry stopped what he was doing when he felt him on his side of his leg.

"You don't have any condoms do you." Louis asked.

"No..." Harry answered breathlessly as he felt himself starting to get hard.

"No...we don't, I don't have to get inside you." Harry mumbled.

"I've...I've never really done anything...at all." Louis blushed a deep red thanking the gods the room was dark.

"Get- if you're not comfortable and want me to stop just tell me okay? Get on your back." Harry said loud enough for Louis to hear him.

Louis watched as Harry's dark figure reached to take his shirt off then got up taking his pajama bottoms off getting back in the bed and in between Louis' legs who he had already spread out for him. He quickly reached down to touch him anywhere he could finding he was still wearing his boxers then sat up to take his own shirt off leaving his boxes own as well.

"If you want me to stop just tell me and I'll stop okay." Harry said and Louis only nodded.

He lay back down on the bed with Harry following and all Louis could feel were warm lips kissing him then gasped when Harry moved downwards grinding his erection against Louis' sending pleasurable waves through his dick, stomach and lower back feeling it over and over the more Harry moved back and forth against him. Almost as if he didn't have any sort of control over his own body Louis spread his legs further apart and began rolling his hips around while Harry let out a series of LouisLouisLouis increasing his movement.

"H- Harry..." Louis breathed out then whined when Harry began to slow down.

"Y- you want me to stop?" Harry asked slowing down until he wasn't moving at all.

"N- no. Just don't stop." Louis continued rolling his hips biting on his bottom lip when he felt Harry's erection slide down to his hole. 

He began running his nails over the skin on Harry's back then kissed back when Harry leaned down muffling his moans and grunts trying to keep quiet for some unknown reason then brought their foreheads together when both of them began getting closer and closer. A few minutes later both of them came moving rather erratically shooting their load in their own boxes slowing their frantic movements as both of them came down from their highs feeling equally exhausted, Harry stayed where he was then pressed his lips against Louis' before he got up and headed to the bathroom coming back with a warm wet towel.

He helped Louis get rid of his boxers then wiped his cum off before grabbing a new pair putting them on so he would be comfortable, after he was done he wiped his off him taking his boxers off then putting his pajama bottoms back on before climbing back in bed where Louis wrapped his arm over him and kissed his neck before he cuddled into him. Harry covered themselves with the duvet then whispered a 'sweet dreams and love you angel' before he secured Louis in his arms and like him fell sleep but this time wearing a tiny smile knowing Louis would be there when he wakes up, not regretting what had happened or anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amazing fan art someone made for me in wattpad. :)
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/image_zps15e6f548.jpg.html)  
> 
> 
> Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/image_zps15e6f548.jpg
> 
> Thanks for reading my attempt at a romantic diner date and am it scene. Lol
> 
> Thoughts? :) 
> 
> I'm still doing character asks guys. http://meloveniall1994.tumblr.com/


	20. I remember you laughing, so let's just laugh again*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking longer to update, had personal problems then I got sick and when I was editing I got into a huge fight with my mom. Here it is, I honestly don't know how to feel about this chapter but I hope I don't disappoint you guys. :)

"Did you take that pill?" Harry sat up out of nowhere from where he was laying down next to a still sleepy Louis after dreaming all night long about Louis and himself chasing after twenty hyper kids unable to control them.

"Yes, now get back here." Louis mumbled pulling him down again resting his head on his chest.

"We should call Logan now...It's seven here so it's what, five in Doncaster?" Harry yawned wanting to get up but too lazy to actually do it still exhausted from the night before.

"What time's our flight again?" Louis rolled onto his back rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Tomorrow at four in the morning...And we get there Monday at nine in the morning." Harry informed him finally getting up to get his phone to call their daughter.

After calling Logan which consisted of her crying her eyes out wanting them to go back because she missed them lots and wanted to give them a big hug they hung up with the promise of getting there the next day before her bedtime to kiss her night night. After staying in bed and a make out session they put on their swimsuits and headed out to the pool to enjoy their last day in Hawaii.

They chose a spot that was perfectly shaded but close to the pool and lay down on the white chaise lounge enjoying the nice cool breeze until Louis took his sunglasses off noticing Nick Grimshaw across the pool sitting next to a man his age staring directly at Harry who was oblivious to him. He looked at Harry who was wearing his sunglasses and had his arms under his head looking up then deciding to ignore Nick he leaned backwards putting his pair on again and closed his eyes trying to relax.

"Wanna go for a swim?" Harry suddenly asked getting up followed by Louis after he nodded leaving their sunglasses behind under a towel.

He jumped in a few seconds later after Harry into the warm water coming back up then a few seconds later Harry did too shaking his head to get rid of the extra water. Without saying anything Harry swam towards Louis grabbing him by the waist bringing him closer to him kissing his jaw then finally his lips smiling into the kiss when Louis wrapped his arms around his neck but then felt him freeze when he heard his name being called by someone he knew so well. He looked the way he had heard the voice and spotted Nick waving him over feeling Louis' grip on his biceps getting tighter the more Nick called his name.

"Let's go see what he wants." Harry kissed Louis' forehead then swam towards Nick who frowned once he saw Louis next to Harry.

"Hi Nick." Harry awkwardly said.

"Hey Harry...haven't seen you in a while. Are you two here together?" Nick asked gesturing between both of them.

"Yeah, you've met Louis." Harry smiled wrapping his arm around his waist bringing him closer to him.

"Yes I have, the guy that just left is my husband Tyler. Where did you leave the little one?" Nick asked smiling a sickly sweet making Louis feel uneasy.

"She's home with our parents." Louis answered before Harry could.

"Oh I see. Taking some time off." Nick nodded.

"Mhm...Oh, we have to go but it was nice seeing you again." Louis faked a smile then pulled Harry with him who followed without saying anything happy to be out of there.

"I don't like him." Louis finally said as soon as they were back and far away from Nick.

"He was okay...until he lied to me about being married. Didn't even invited Liam or I to his wedding." Harry said swimming on his back around Louis.

"You're mad because he didn't even invited you to his wedding or because he got married?" Louis asked before he could stop himself.

"None. And I don't like him, he spent three years trying to get in my pants and never succeeded. I'm just surprised he got married." Harry shrugged moving to stand next to Louis in the four feet area of the pool.

"This is personal but...how many guys have you been with? Don't include girls." Louis asked quickly looking down.

"One." Harry simply answered.

"Oh I see." Louis grinned a little.

"Mhm...And he's got the bluest most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen." Harry smiled a little walking closer to Louis.

"If you've only been with me then how did you figure out you were gay?" He asked remembering how Harry always used to fool around with girls.

"Well...when I was with a girl it just, I couldn't enjoy it anymore and I always used to think about someone else. Don't freak out okay...I always used to think about you." Harry confessed blushing a deep red.

"Oh...um, that's- that's okay I guess. I tried dating two guys but it never worked out. The first one ran as soon as he found out I had a one year old kid and to be honest I didn't really cared and the second one was when Logan was two but he only wanted sex and I couldn't and didn't want to give him that. He also always kept asking who Logan's other father was so I stopped seeing him." Louis said.

"I'm sorry I made you go through all of that." Harry sighed looking down at his cold wet hands.

"They weren't right for me anyway so it's okay. Wait...you've only been with me so that means you and Drew never did anything." Louis slowly realized.

"Never, he wanted to but I couldn't and now that I remember...I did made out with Nick but I was kinda drunk, the only time I got drunk." Harry said fixing his swimsuit.

"Good you didn't, he's an asshole and now I know why Logan never liked him." Louis mumbled looking down remembering all the nasty things Drew had said to him that even though he knew he was wrong they still hurt.

"Lou what's wrong?" Harry asked watching as Louis got out of the pool and went back to their spots grabbing a towel to dry himself off a little.

He took a seat and waited for Harry to do the same before he lay back down trying to ignore Harry's burning gaze on him.

"Remember when we were younger and you always used to say you wanted your first kid to be a boy...And that you already had a name picked out for him?" Louis asked.

"Yeah but that was back then." Harry said motioning for Louis to scoot over so he could lay down next to him.

"Drew...He- he called me a slut and said I couldn't even give you the son you've always wanted and that one day maybe he would." Louis confessed seeing the way Harry clenched his jaw then took a deep breath before he kissed his left temple.

"First of all you're not a slut and second, I don't really care if Logan is not a boy. I love her with all my heart and I don't need a son because she's more than enough for me. She's my precious lovebug and I love her, I also really really love the tea she makes, it's my favorite." Harry said making Louis laugh.

"It's just water from the bathroom sink Haz" Louis wrinkled his nose.

"It's tasty, specially when she adds her secret ingredient...pink glitter but don't tell her we know." Harry whispered the last six words tickling Louis' ear.

"You actually drink it?" Louis asked turning his head around a little too look at Harry.

"I fake sip out of it when she's watching me...I'm just glad she hasn't tried to feed me the dog's snacks anymore." Harry gave Louis a quick kiss then nuzzled his face on the back of his neck while Louis shook with laughter.

"Are we going to that party tonight?" Louis asked still laughing.

"If you want to but let's not stay up too late, we have to be up really early." Harry mumbled.

"Can we go...Nick keeps staring and its making me uncomfortable. You know what? I'll meet you at the party, I have stuff to do and its in two hours." Louis got up pecking Harry's lips before he walked away and Harry quickly left after he saw Nick walking his way.

~*~

Harry walked through the crowd looking for Louis who he hadn't seen in a while after he had disappeared, it was already eight at night and he just wanted to find him before Nick could find him. He froze when he felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist and a pair of lips connecting with the back of his neck, he was just about to push away whoever it was when the person let go and moved to stand in front of him.

"I thought you were Nick. Where have you been?" Harry asked breathing out in relief.

"He's here?" Louis asked looking around.

"Yeah, let's just ignore it and let's have some fun." Harry smiled pulling Louis away from the crowded place.

Louis who was shy when it came to dancing and wasn't as confident spent his time sitting at a table close to the bar on Harry's lap or next to him talking about anything that would pop into their heads with the occasional kiss. They were grateful no one had come to interrupt them because all they wanted was to catch up and have a nice conversation in a place where no one knew their pasts. Now that he could, Harry never missed a chance to tell Louis how much he loved him and how beautiful he was making him blush a lovely shade of pink while telling him he loved him back making Harry's heart skip a beat and feel nice and warm every time Louis would say it or just simply showed him through his touch and kisses.

"Are you two dating? Please tell me you're dating." April popped out of nowhere smiling like a fool at Louis and Harry's intertwined hands.

Louis looked at Harry who had a hopeful look on his face then at April before he nodded wrapping his arms around his waist resting his head on his chest feeling Harry's lips on his forehead while April cooed at them. She left them alone for the rest of the night then decided to leave when Nick who was by himself kept trying to get in between them even if Harry was glued to Louis' side refusing to unwrap his arm from around Louis' waist resulting in pulling him to wherever Nick tried to pull Harry.

"Shit...I forgot my key." Harry groaned looking for it in his pockets once they were back in the lobby.

"You can sleep with me, here's the key...let me just go ask for another toothbrush." Louis smiled taking his key out not noticing he had dropped the other one he had forgotten to return earlier but someone did and after Harry walked away to the elevators he picked it up watching Louis walk up to him before they left.

As soon as they were back Louis took a shower while Harry called the front desk to ask for another one to have it ready so in the morning he could just go and get his already packed suitcase. He looked around noticing how Louis now kept everything neat and organized and not messy like when they were younger, he grabbed a pair of clean boxers Louis had given him and walked to the bathroom to take a shower as soon as Louis had gotten out. When he came back out Louis was already in bed only wearing boxers watching a reality show on tv then turned it off as soon as he saw Harry only wearing his boxers and patted the other side of the bed giving him his key that had been delivered while he was showering.

Harry took it then placed it on the bedside table next to his phone before he turned back to Louis opening his arms for him to crawl into his lap while Louis debated in his head whether to tell Harry what he had been thinking about since the beginning of the party. Instead he wrapped his arms around Harry slowly bringing him forward until their lips were barely touching then taking a moment to look into his green eyes he leaned forward and kissed him.

"Make love to me." Louis mumbled in between kisses making Harry pull back to look at him taking in his flushed face.

"We don't have any condoms Lou." Harry informed him.

"Yes we do." Louis shrugged passing both items to Harry who took them then looked at Louis raising an eyebrow.

"When did you get this?" Harry asked following Louis with his eyes.

"Earlier today when I told you I had things to do. Just please, we won't have any time for it when we get back. Trust me." Louis said emphasizing the last words.

"We won't....none at all." Harry leaned forward kissing Louis and pushing him backwards onto his back until Louis let himself fall pulling Harry down with him.

Louis immediately reached for Harry's boxers pulling them down until nothing was covering him then ran his hands from Harry's lower back to his shoulder blades then all the way back down over and over making Harry shiver getting hard by the second. Harry could feel Louis' erection on his thigh moving his hands down to take his boxes off making Louis sigh in relief then lifted him up placing Louis' knees on either side of him never breaking the kiss, he trailed open mouth kisses down Louis' jaw and neck as his breathing became uneven pulling on Harry's curls at the nape of his neck gasping when Harry gently nibbled on his ear lobe then blew cool air into it.

"Love you." Harry whispered in his ear grabbing the bottle of lube.

"Love you too." 

He pushed Louis on his back taking his sweet time to actually pour lube on his fingers and once he was sure he wasn't going to hurt Louis he moved one of his fingers circling Louis' entrance watching him as he grabbed fistfuls of the sheets then slowly pushed his finger in making Louis gasp.

"You okay?" Harry asked moving his finger around searching for Louis' spot finding it right away.

"Y- yeah...I think I'm ready for another one." Louis said taking a deep breath.

Soon Harry had two fingers inside of Louis moving them around carefully stretching him open and once he had three fingers in and he was sure Louis was ready he pulled them out wiping them off on the bed-sheets. He grabbed the small foil square opening then rolling it in coating himself with more than enough lube looking at Louis who nodded lifting himself up on his elbows to kiss him. He cupped Louis' cheek with one hand rubbing circles with his thumb to distract him as he guided his erection to Louis' entrance with his other hand. He peppered his face with kisses when Louis whimpered as Harry slowly pushed in trying to make it less painful for him then started moving as soon as Louis nodded. He kept a steady pace pulling all the way out before pushing all the way in as slow as he could burying his face on Louis' neck.

"Faster..." Louis mumbled running his fingers through Harry's hair after a few minutes of Harry moving at the same peace feeling like he needed him to move faster.

"I don't wanna hurt you." Harry answered lifting his head up to look at Louis.

"You won't...why did you stop moving?" Louis asked and suddenly Harry was quiet.

"Last time I hurt you again and I don't wanna do that this time....let's go slow." Harry started moving again painfully slow frustrating Louis to no end.

"Pull out...and get on your back." Louis said placing the palm of his hands on Harry's chest pushing him away.

"Why? We were having a good time." Harry pouted pulling out of Louis then getting on his back.

"You'll see?" Was all Louis said.

Louis straddled Harry grabbing his erection guiding it to his entrance then slowly sank down all the way in then moved upwards again holding Harry's hips down when he tried to lift them up before he moved down again. Without a word Louis began rolling his hips in figure eights gasping then moaned loudly when Harry wrapped his hand around him placing his index finger and thumb along his cock slowly moving his hand up and down and using the other to bring him down by the neck into a heated and messy kiss. Louis shifted so he was supporting himself up on his knees resting the top of his feet on the top of Harry's thighs moving up and down making Harry sit up so he could continue kissing him not noticing when Harry shifted his angle hitting his prostate every time he bounced back down until he felt the tip of his dick nudging it every time he moved.

"I'm- I'm close." Harry gasped kneading Louis' bum helping him move up and down when he began to slow down feeling his sweaty forehead on his shoulder.

They were too focused on each other they didn't notice Nick opening the door of what he thought was Harry's room with the key Louis had dropped intending to surprise Harry and finish what they couldn't finish last time he had seen him. He frowned when he heard Harry chanting 'Louis' over and over again then stumbled backwards when Louis and Harry came into view just as Louis let out a loud moan followed by Harry as Louis slowed down his movements placing his forehead on Harry's before they began kissing. As fast as he could Nick quickly dropped the key on the carpeted floor and left the hotel room surprised at what he saw since he remembered Harry telling him Louis hated him then shrugged it off passing it as hate sex as he walked back to the party even if he knew it was something more.

~*~

"We should shower again." Harry said carefully pulling out of Louis laying back down on the bed.

"M'tired." Louis mumbled laying down on top of Harry closing his eyes and feeling sleep taking over.

After getting rid of the condom Harry moved Louis' sweaty hair out of his forehead then kissed it letting his lips linger longer than necessary, "C'mon love, we're all sweaty...I'll help you." Harry mumbled lifting Louis up carrying him to the bathroom where they ended up taking a shower together.

Noticing it was already one in the morning Harry woke Louis up again and together after Louis had picked up the extra key from the floor guessing he had dropped it there they had gotten all of their stuff including a gift for Logan then checked out of the hotel taking a cab to the airport. As soon as they boarded the plane Louis immediately fell asleep resting his head on Harry's shoulder as Harry wondered what would happen to them once they were back in England and hoped for their new founded relationship to get stronger and not crumble down. A few minutes later he fell asleep snuggling closer to Louis as far as the seats would allow it smiling because they were going to see their little girl soon and he just wanted to hug her tight and kiss her little face. Six hours into the flight Louis woke up to see Harry reading a magazine and drinking Apple juice from a juice box without a care in the world as he fought the urge to laugh.

"What are you drinking?" Louis asked stretching his back.

"This is the same juice I get for Logan and its so good, now I understand why she's so addicted. Here." Harry said bringing the straw up to Louis' lips where he sucked on it tasting it.

"It's good...how many have you had?" Louis asked grabbing the torn straw plastic wrappers counting five just as Harry was finishing it.

"A few." He shrugged reaching for another one.

"Nope, that's enough juice. Leave it for later or your bladder's gonna explode." Louis took the juice box away from him.

"Now that you mention it, I'll be right back." Harry kissed Louis before he got up to relieve himself while Louis shook his head smiling.

~*~

"I've been thinking...Are we gonna tell them we're together now?" Harry asked thirty minutes later after he had gotten back.

"Please don't get mad but...I think we should keep it between us for now, get Logan used to seeing us together first then we can tell everyone else." Louis said putting his book down then cupped Harry's cheek rubbing circles with his thumb.

"Okay, whatever you want. Liam dropped my car off at the airport so we can go get Logan as soon as we get there." Harry said smiling like a fool.

"Thirteen more hours." Louis mumbled burying his face on Harry's neck.

They stayed quiet for the next hour reading a book after eating a late breakfast and for the next thirteen hours either slept, talked or played on their phones. Four hours before landing Louis had gotten from his seat motioning for Harry to follow a few minutes later and what started as a simple make out turned into sex once again with Harry holding Louis up against the wall by the back of his thighs slowly pushing into him while Louis bit into his shoulder trying to keep quiet. Harry bit his bottom lip drawing out a few drops of blood when he came into the condom and glad that Louis had stopped his load from staining their shirts, he kissed him one more time as they pulled their pants back on letting Louis walk back to their seats before he did.

After they were sure they had all of their stuff they found Harry's car parked there just like Liam had promised and left to Doncaster expecting to get there by noon. They called Anne and Jay on the way there to let them know they were on their way and that they were going to be spending the night there not wanting to drive back to London when they were already tired.

~*~

"We're here." Louis sighed getting out of the car walking to the back to retrieve his and Harry's bags.

"I'm so tired." Harry yawned getting his bag. 

"Sucks for you because you're not getting any sleep." Louis smiled innocently going for a kiss but stopped himself when he remembered they couldn't know yet.

As soon as they were in front of Jay's house where both of their mums, Gemma and Logan were supposed to be, Anne opened the door hugging them and pulling them inside the silent house.

"Hi Anne. Where's Logan?" Louis asked looking around for her.

"I sent Gemma out to get groceries for the big welcome back dinner tonight and Logan tagged along, Jay had to go too to help her." Anne said wearing the biggest smile.

"Hope she didn't give you any trouble." Louis said knowing how Logan was.

"None at all. She's my gorgeous little angel, wouldn't hurt a fly. We really missed you both, I'm glad you're here." Anne said pulling them into another hug just as Buttercup came running through the kitchen door waggling his tail looking for attention.

"Hi boy! I missed you." Harry bent down to pet him followed by Louis.

"I'm gonna go shower before they get here." Louis announced grabbing his bag walking upstairs.

Once he was alone he stopped in front of what used to be his bedroom and with shaky hands and taking a deep breath he opened the door expecting flashbacks but nothing happened, he walked inside noticing that the walls were now painted a light purple instead of the sky blue they had once been. He looked one more time around then got out closing the door after himself heading to the bathroom in the hallway to take a shower feeling a little bit better. An hour later after both of them had showered and were eating the food Anne had prepared for them they heard the door slam open followed by the sound of small feet running to the kitchen shouting 'ninna, the munchkins home' then she came into view stopping when she saw them sitting around the table.

"Daddies..." She whimpered running up to Louis who quickly caught her in his arms hugging her and kissing her as she wrapped his arm around his neck and the other around Harry's bringing them closer.

"I missed you love." Louis said as she kissed his cheek then Harry's.

"We going home now daddy?" Logan asked him putting his hand on his cheek grabbing Harry's sleeve with the other.

"Not today love, tomorrow we are." Louis smiled kissing her again.

"Hi daddy." Logan reached for Harry who took her in his arms.

"Hi lovebug, I missed you so much." Harry hugged her tight.

"I missed you too." She sighed.

"When did you get back?" Jay asked hugging them.

"About an hour ago." Louis said stroking Logan's hair who had decided to go back into his arms after giving Harry lots of kisses and telling each other how much they loved each other.

"How was Hawaii, lots of hot guys?" Gemma wiggled her eyebrows wincing when Anne lightly smacked her shoulder.

"Daddy why are they hot?" Logan asked Louis making everyone laugh and coo at her.

Both Jay and Anne ended up sending Louis and Harry to Anne's place so they could spend time alone with Logan after she refused to be put down and had to be held by either of them. They made a quick trip to the park where Logan made them play hide-n-seek resulting in her getting lost a few times until Harry decided it was enough or he was going to end up having a heart attack if she disappeared again. They had gone back home and sat down to watch a movie snuggling together with Logan in the middle until they were called back for dinner giving each other a kiss when Logan was too busy petting the dog to notice. During dinner Mark couldn't help but notice Louis looked happier and had a certain glow then observed both of them seeing the tiny smiles they would give to each other choosing not to say anything and just hoping for whatever they had to end up well not wanting to see his son crying again.

~*~

That night after Gemma had gone home and both Robin and Anne were asleep Harry carefully and silently walked to where Louis and Logan were sleeping in the same room and opened the door seeing them clearly with her night light, she was asleep on top of Louis' chest then he got under the covers next to Louis wrapping his arms around them kissing both of their foreheads waking Louis up who tightened his grip on Logan out of instinct.

"Harry?" Louis mumbled blinking the sleep out of his eyes trying to see him.

"It's just me love, go back to sleep." Harry whispered bringing them closer to him.

"I love you." Louis whispered falling back sleep.

"I love you more, both of you." Harry said closing his eyes.

He felt Logan shifting around letting her hand drop right on his face smacking his forehead hearing Louis' low chuckles, he grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles putting it back down in a comfortable position. Harry spent his night being kicked by Logan's knees or hit on the face with the back of her hand and occasionally getting drool on his chest and shoulder but if you asked him he would tell you that was one of the best nights he's ever had with his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mduyb6Ztyu1rlx2ymo1_500_zps3fd65191.jpg.html)   
> 
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> Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mduyb6Ztyu1rlx2ymo1_500_zps3fd65191.jpg
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> Thoughts? :) and again sorry for taking forever to update


	21. We all have our faults, mine come in waves that you turn to rust*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE LISTEN TO THE SONG!! :)
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p58mpg3bXN8
> 
> WARNING: This chapter contains homophobic language and its extremely violent, please don't read if you're not comfortable. Listen to the song. Please don't kill me!

"Shh, don't wake daddy up." Harry mumbled pulling a barely awake Logan away from a still sleeping Louis before she could wake him up.

He pulled her close to him and softly sang her their lullaby to get her to go back to sleep seeing it was only five in the morning and Louis needed to sleep longer, ten minutes later she was back asleep sucking on her thumb touching Harry with the right side of her body and Louis with her leg and free hand after moving around trying to find a comfortable position. The next time Harry woke up Louis was in the bathroom and Logan was sitting in the middle of the bed brushing one of her Barbie's hair while Harry wanted to brush hers seeing it all tangled up from moving around too much during the night knowing she did because she wasn't used to sleeping with both Louis and himself yet. He rolled to his left side catching Logan's attention smiling at her when she gave him a toothy grin, he wanted to go back to sleep but couldn't when Logan crawled up to him and began brushing his hair with the Barbie's plastic brush pulling on it.

"That's hurting daddy, baby." Harry mumbled grabbing her hand to stop her from pulling his hair where he felt it stinging.

"Sorry sorry." Logan quickly said then kissed it to make it okay like Louis kissed her boo boos.

"Thank you love, I feel so much better now." Harry smiled sitting up to kiss her trying to fix her crazy hair seeing she was wearing her princess and the frog pajamas he had for her at his flat but since she spent time in both sometimes Louis or him ended up taking clothes back and forth not really noticing.

"Kisses and hugs always make you feel better daddy." She nodded putting her Barbie down before she crawled into his lap to give him a hug.

"Hugging fest and I wasn't invited." Louis gasped walking out of the bathroom.

"Get over here." Harry smiled opening his arms wrapping them around them as soon as Louis was inside them.

He lay back down pulling them with him shifting around to make it comfortable for them ending up with Logan on top of him sprawled like a starfish on his chest and Louis next to him with half his body on top of his resting his head next to Logan's. Louis kissed Logan's forehead smiling when she kissed his then his cheek and the tip of his nose, he then lifted his head up to give Harry a kiss knowing their daughter was watching them but the faster she got used to them being affectionate with each other the faster they were going to be able to not hide their relationship anymore. He hated keeping their love, keeping them a secret when they should be able to hug and kiss whenever they felt like it without worrying about them thinking it was wrong or too soon after everything. They looked down again seeing Logan furiously brushing the dolls hair again without a care in the world quietly counting from one to ten then starting all over again after the ten.

"Is my mum up?" Harry asked.

"It's eight thirty...Robin just left a few minutes ago so I think she's still sleeping and Gemma texted me saying she'll be here in thirty minutes or so." Louis said drawing circles on Harry's chest with his index finger.

"I should make breakfast." Harry said passing Logan to Louis kissing both of their foreheads then got up and walked to the bathroom closing and locking the door since Logan had picked up the habit of walking in like she owned the place not caring who was in there.

"Daddy I'm hungry." Logan said trying to wrap her arms around Louis without letting go of her doll resting her head on his left shoulder.

"Daddy curly's gonna make breakfast, we have to wait until he makes it." Louis rubbed her back remembering how she used to chew on his shoulder when she was a baby glad that she didn't do it anymore because he would always have a wet patch on his left shoulder.

"I want pancakes...or the toast from the French." Logan said lifting her head up from his shoulder smacking a kiss on Louis' temple.

"You can ask him to make you what you want but right now we have to get you out of those pajamas." Louis smiled poking her tummy making her giggle.

He set her down on the bed and walked to the closet where Gemma had told him she had put her clothes along with new dresses she had gotten her and almost jumped when he felt small arms wrapping around his thighs, he pulled a pair of black pants and a pink and white shirt putting them back when she frowned at them. He heard Harry opening the bathroom door then him walking towards the closet and felt strong arms wrapping around his waist.

"What do you guys want for breakfast?" Harry asked after kissing Louis' cheek.

"Pancakes?" Louis turned around to face him feeling Logan pulling on his shirt.

"Daddies, I want toast from the French." Logan announced looking up at them frowning when they didn't pay her any attention.

"I think my mum is up." Harry said holding Louis closer.

"Toast from the French Harry!" Logan screamed trying to push Harry away from Louis fed up from not getting any attention and her French toast.

"Hey! No pushing young lady, that's not nice." Louis scolded her expecting her to apologize or burst out crying like she usually did when Harry was around but she only crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes into slits.

"Auntie Gemma taught you that didn't she?" Harry bent down grabbing her arms putting them back on her sides.

"I want toast from the French daddy...please." Logan's eyes began shining with unshed tears knowing Harry always did what she wanted when there were tears involved making Louis wonder where the hell had she learned to coax the tears out that fast.

"Okay okay, I'll go make you your toast from the French your highness." Harry chuckled kissing her forehead getting up to go make breakfast.

"What did I say about pushing people, hmm?" Louis asked crouching down to be on her level after Harry was gone knowing he would just tell him to let it go.

"....s'not nice." Logan mumbled avoiding Louis' gaze.

"You know it's not nice and I don't like it so please don't do it again, okay?" Louis said grabbing a pair of black leggings and a simple purple long sleeved dress.

"Okay..." Logan said just as Louis grabbed her hand walking back to the bed so he could change her.

He ended up standing in front of Logan waiting for her to ask him for help when she insisted on changing our of her pajamas by herself, he smiled showing her the right way to put on the dress after she had tried to put it backwards then had to help her put on the leggings letting her pull them up on her own. As soon as she was ready he quickly made the bed and changed into a pair of black jeans and a grey hoodie then grabbed Logan's hand and headed downstairs hearing Harry and Anne laughing making Logan walk a little faster to get there. Harry was in front of the stove while Anne was cutting strawberries brightening up even more when Logan ran up to her and hugged her legs giggling when she noticed Buttercup eating his food.

"Honey, let him eat first, you have to eat too." Anne bent down to give her a good morning kiss and a piece of strawberry.

"Morning Anne, morning Harry." Louis greeted them acting as if it was the first time seeing him that morning.

"Morning." Both Harry and Anne answered smiling while Anne gave him a hug and kissed his cheek.

"Is it the toast from the French, daddy?" Logan asked Harry lifting her arms up so he could pick her up.

"Yes lovebug, they're almost ready." Harry picked her up kissing her cheek while Louis helped set the table.

"I got more milk!" Jay shouted from the front door walking in with a gallon of milk a few seconds later.

"Nana!" Logan shouted wiggling out of Harry's arms stopping when he passed her to her.

"Good morning baby." Jay smiled kissing her cheek.

"Daddy's making toast from the French." Logan proudly announced moving her curls out of her face.

"He is, that's all you want for breakfast now." Jay poked her cheek making her giggle.

"Morning mum." Louis walked up to Jay wrapping his arms around both of them.

"Morning sweetheart. How are you doing?" She stroked his back kissing his temple.

"Great! Slept like a baby." Louis mumbled kissing her cheek.

"You look less tired, Logan didn't wake you up at some ungodly hour today?" Jay asked.

"No, not today. Wait...did she woke up any of you?" Louis asked looking around before his eyes finally settled on Logan who jumped out of Jay's arms into his making him grunt when he caught her.

"Woke Gemma up a few times." Anne said, fondness showing in her voice.

"What did you wake auntie Gemma up for, huh?" Louis softly asked her pressing his forehead against hers before kissing the tip of her nose seeing Harry smiling from the corner of his eye.

"I use the potty then went night night again." Logan answered wrapping her arms around his neck resting her left cheek on Louis' left one.

"M'kay then." Louis smiled.

"Breakfast's ready." Harry announced setting a plate full of food in the middle of the table.

Louis washed his hands helping Logan wash hers then set her down where she quickly ran up to Harry holding her arms up to him so he could help her up into her chair and once Louis was sitting next to her she began eating the small pieces of toast Harry had cut into smaller pieces for her. Louis carefully watched her when she got on her knees to be able to better reach the table making sure she was safe not wanting her to fall off and get hurt while she chatted about baby Isaac to Harry. She stopped talking when she heard Gemma's voice begging Louis to get her out of her chair in between Harry and himself so she could go hug her and give her kisses and after he did she took off running to the front door coming back in Gemma's arms.

"Morning everybody." Gemma greeted them sitting down next to Anne with Logan in her lap after kissing both Anne and Jay on the cheek.

"Morning brainless, want some breakfast?" Harry smiled reaching out to ruffle her hair smiling fondly.

"Of course knucklehead." Gemma said then turned to Logan smiling mischievously, "He likes messing with my hair because his looks like a badly built birds nest, twigs everywhere." Gemma dramatically sighed while Logan giggled.

"Hey!" Harry pouted trying not to smile.

"Poor baby got stuck with Hazza's unruly curls instead of Louis' flawless hair." Gemma continued teasing him hugging her niece close to her.

"I love daddy's curls." Logan frantically nodded.

"Of course you do princess, you're biologically programmed to do so." Gemma winked at Louis who had his hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing.

"Okay, no French toast for you." Harry pulled the plate away from her.

"No, okay I'll stop." Gemma quickly said taking the plate back giving Logan to Louis so she could finish her breakfast.

"That's what I thought." Harry stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh my God Harry, not even Logan does that." Gemma laughed making Harry blush and Louis reach to hold his hand from under the table smiling at him not noticing Jay and Anne looking at them then at each other sharing a knowing look.

After breakfast Anne and Jay left to take a short walk around the neighborhood while Gemma challenged both Logan and herself to build a two thousand puzzle piece leaving Louis and Harry to clean the kitchen on their own. Deciding that Harry would do the washing and Louis the drying they started working in a comfortable silence hearing Gemma praising Logan whenever she found a piece. Making sure that no one would come in Harry grabbed Louis by the waist carefully pushing him against the sink taking the damp rag out his hands after they were done and kissed him sucking on his bottom lip making up for the time he couldn't during breakfast. He shivered feeling Louis' cold and slightly wet hands running up and down his bare back underneath his shirt as he tightened his grip around Louis' waist rubbing small circles on his lower back with his thumbs ignoring the rest of the world as their tongues fought for dominance.

"Umm...well this is new." Gemma said behind them as they quickly scrambled away from each other blushing a deep red trying to fix their clothes and hair.

"Gemma, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Logan?" Harry asked trying to even out his breaths.

"You bloody wankers since when?" Gemma asked walking up to them looking overly excited and grinning like a mad man.

"We uhh...." Harry stuttered looking at Louis for help.

"First night in Hawaii." Louis answered realizing three was no use in trying to hide it from her.

"And you're dating now? You guys sleep together now, no wonder why Logan keeps telling me you both go 'night night' with her." Gemma said making air quotations around the two words with her fingers.

"Could you maybe keep it between us for now? We just need time for ourselves and get used to the whole dating thing before announcing it." Louis pleaded hoping for her to say yes.

"Of course! Gosh you don't even have to ask, but do try to tone it down a bit because I think mum and Jay are starting to suspect something's going on. Anyway...gotta go back to the princess, she's waiting. This is the best day of my life so far." Gemma sighed putting a dirty bowl on the sink before walking out of the kitchen back to the living room with Logan.

"That was...that was unexpected." Louis mumbled wrapping his arms around Harry's torso resting his head on his chest.

"She's not gonna say anything, I know she won't." Harry sighed hugging Louis closing his eyes enjoying having him in his arms.

"You still got one more dish to wash." Louis said looking at Harry then burst out laughing.

An hour later Gemma and Logan were still working on the puzzle with both Harry and Louis' help until Logan got bored and decided to bring Kelly and Victoria out to play with Harry giving him Kelly since her hand was all chewed up and she liked Valerie more. Harry ignored Gemma's teasing when he had to do his best impression of Kelly going out shopping with Valerie then their fancy dinner where Harry had to help her change their clothes looking at the weird skinny plastic body weirded out by them since he was never a fan of Barbies when he and Gemma were younger. Logan jumped up from her spot when she heard Jay and Anne coming in brightening up when she saw Anne holding a baby boy running up to her to see him knowing it was Isaac, Cassandra's baby brother.

"Hey mum, whose baby is that?" Harry asked picking up Logan's abandoned doll.

"This is Isaac, Roxanne's baby. She had to take Cassandra to the doctor and asked us if we could watch him." Anne said as Jay waved his blue diaper bag around.

"Ninna can I hold him please?" Logan asked looking up at Anne pouting her bottom lip reminding Anne of a four year old Harry who used to do the same.

"Sure munchkin but you have to sit down, remember?" Anne smiled watching her as she nodded and went to take a seat next to Louis who smiled and kept an eye on Logan when Anne bent down.

"Be careful with his head love." Louis said moving closer to her as soon as Anne set the baby in her arms but didn't let go.

"He's cute daddy." Logan giggled just as Isaac opened his bright green eyes letting out a loud high pitched cry startling Logan who tried to get him away from her and ended up in Louis' arms as he lightly bounced him up and down trying to calm him down.

"You're a fussy baby aren't ya?" Louis cooed at him.

"I didn't hurt him daddy." Logan quickly said getting off of the couch running to Harry who caught her in his arms.

"You didn't hurt him love, he's just a little fussy." Louis smiled at her then down at the baby who was watching Louis back with curiosity.

Harry held Logan closer watching as Louis shifted the baby around so he was on his lap facing him then fixed his hat before lifting him up against his chest by his bum holding the back of his head with his other hand. Louis holding a baby was quite beautiful in Harry's eyes and began to feel a hole in his chest regretting like he did all the time ever hurting him because if he hadn't been such an idiot and a disgrace then maybe he would've had the chance to properly ask Louis to be his boyfriend, marry him and have children the right way. He was grateful to have Logan and he loved her to death to the point of dying for her but he just wished she had been conceived under different circumstances and not when he had forced himself on Louis.

"Wanna hold him Harry?" Louis asked looking at the baby then at him.

"Uh...Yeah, sure." Harry said passing Logan to Gemma after kissing her cheek then sat down next to Louis holding his arms out like Logan had done making Jay, Anne and Gemma chuckle.

Louis carefully placed the baby in his arms and once he was safe in them he fixed his blanket smiling the whole entire time while Harry was afraid to even move feeling the small weight of the baby moving around and never staying still. He was beginning to feel comfortable holding him when the baby began crying again as Harry desperately tried to calm him down copying what Louis had done but failed when the baby cried louder. Louis who knew what he wanted asked Anne for his pacifier then gave it to him hearing the baby's cries reduce to whimpers before finally stopping. A few minutes later Harry gave the baby back to Anne thinking about probably not having any more kids because he didn't know a thing about them and if everything worked out between Louis and himself like he was hoping then he wasn't sure Louis would want to have another baby with him in the future.

*~*

"I thought I was gonna break him." Harry mumbled against Louis' neck hugging him tighter.

"You did great." Louis assured him as he ran his fingers through his curls.

Anne and Jay had gone to drop Isaac off and get the girls from school while Gemma was out at the park with Logan leaving Louis and Harry alone to do as they pleased without hiding. They were laying down on Harry's bed with half of Harry's body on top of Louis, and arms wrapped around him and head resting on his shoulder while Louis played with his curls. After kissing for a while they had decided to stop or it will only lead to sex once again and that was something they couldn't do knowing anyone could get home at any moment and didn't want to get caught so cuddling was safer and they loved just being in each others arms.

"I love you." Harry mumbled inhaling Louis' scent.

"I love you too." Louis smiled feeling Harry's lips on his neck.

"Mum's home." Harry lifted his head up to look at Louis.

"We should go downstairs and start dinner." Louis looked around then got up when Harry did but not before pressing his lips against Harry's getting to the kitchen just as Anne, Jay and the girls walked through the door.

"LouLou where's Logan?" Daisy asked.

"We brought her candy." Phoebe continued waving the plastic bag around.

"That's really nice of you girls, thank you. Just please don't give her any before dinner or she won't eat." Louis smiled giving them each a kiss on the forehead.

Louis took the candy putting it up in the cupboard to give them a few pieces after dinner just as Logan came in running with an exhausted and frightened Gemma behind her putting her hair up in a ponytail. Logan ran up to Louis hugging his legs then looked up at him with watery eyes and pouty lips wanting to be picked up and as soon as Louis did she burst out crying clinging to him shaking a bit while Gemma looked nervously at Harry biting on her bottom lip. 

"Gemma what happened? Are you okay, why is she crying?" Harry frantically asked walking up to her hugging her and reaching to kiss Logan's forehead.

"Gemma what happened? You're scaring me sweetheart." Anne insisted while Jay gestured for Lottie and Fizz to take the twins back to her house then waited for them to leave before she turned to Gemma.

"I- It's dad Harry." Gemma's voice trembled.

"What, Gemma what's wrong with Robin?" Harry asked thinking the worse case scenarios where their dad could be badly hurt.

"No Harry...dad's back." Gemma shuddered and Harry felt his blood going cold with fear but mostly anger.

"Did you see him? Did he hurt you...did he hurt her?" Harry took a step back grabbing Gemma by the shoulders, his blood boiling at the thought, hearing Logan's loud cries while Louis and Jay tried to comfort her and Anne could only watch her children talking.

"W- We were walking b- back and he saw me, he got out of his car wanting to t- talk and he saw her. He asked if she was mine and when I t- told him she was yours he started asking who was the mother and- and I'm sorry Harry, I told him she was Louis' too and he started saying horrible things and yelling so I ran with her. I'm so sorry Harry, he scared her...And he- he's coming here. I'm sorry." Gemma started crying just as Harry went numb feeling Louis' hand on his back.

"Harry what's going..." Louis tried to ask but stopped when he saw Harry's panicked expression.

"Get your stuff, we're leaving." Harry said taking Logan hugging her close to his chest as the tears began overflowing his eyes.

"Why?" Louis asked.

"I don't want him near you much less her so just get your stuff...I'll just do it myself." Harry said then took off running towards the stairs with Logan in his arms and Louis following after leaving Anne and Jay behind with Gemma.

"Harry what's going on, what's wrong?" Louis asked grabbing Harry by the arm just as he was grabbing whatever stuff he could find of Logan's.

"Louis please just get your stuff so we can leave before he gets here." Harry finally snapped feeling horrible when Louis flinched and took a step back, "Lou..." Harry took a step forward feeling his chest tightening when Louis took Logan and moved away from him.

"You're ashamed of us, aren't you? You don't want your dad to see me and know you had a kid with me. You never changed...You're still the same asshole who only cares about himself." Louis felt the hot tears running down his cheeks feeling stupid for believing Harry, for believing he loved him back when it had all been a lie.

"No Louis that's not- I do love you. I love you both so much I just can't let him near you." Harry grabbed Louis' cheeks wiping the tears away with his thumbs then let go wrapping his arms around them kissing the side of Louis' head, "Please...we have to go, please." 

"Then why? I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on." Louis wrapped his free arm around his waist feeling Harry's breath tickling his ear and Logan's tiny hiccups.

"I don't want him to hurt you or Logan...I would never forgive myself." Harry whispered then tensed up when he heard the doorbell then aggressive knocking making Logan cry again.

"Where is he!?" Harry's eyes widened and started shaking hearing his father's angry voice booming around the house.

"Adam stop, what's wrong with you?" Anne shouted trying to keep him from going upstairs and away from Harry, Louis and especially Logan.

"Go to my room and get out of there, get Lottie to open her window and hide there. I love you, both of you." Harry kissed him then Logan's sweaty forehead before he left the room deciding it was time to stand up for himself, he wasn't the same little kid who was scared shitless of him anymore.

While Harry slowly walked downstairs Louis almost ran to Harry's room seeing his sisters huddled up in Lottie's bed, he opened the window and motioned for Lottie to do the same when she noticed him waving at her to catch her attention. He looked back just as Logan cried harder hearing Harry and his biological father shouting at each other then something breaking and a cry of pain coming from Harry making Louis want to run and get him out of there. Just as Lottie opened the window he could hear Anne and Gemma screaming at Adam to let Harry go.

"Louis what's going on? I just called dad and he said Robin and him are on their way." Lottie's voice trembled on the verge of tears hearing the commotion downstairs.

"Take her and lock all the doors and windows and stay here in your room okay...play music or whatever, anything to keep them from hearing." Louis carefully passed Logan over to her to keep them from falling feeling her small hands pulling on his shirt.

"Daddy no, no leave me...Daddy." She cried holding onto him tighter.

"I'll be right back love. I'm not leaving you, I'm coming back with Harry to get you later." Louis kissed her forehead giving Lottie her blanket and teddy bear he had managed to grab and as soon as Lottie had her she locked the window and pulled down the shutters.

He quickly made his way downstairs seeing Gemma and Anne in front of an angry Adam shielding Harry away from him who was in Jay's arms, he looked back at Adam seeing him glaring at him then at Harry again quickly running to him when he noticed Harry's split bottom lip and the rag he was holding covered in blood. Louis slowly lifted his head up by the chin inspecting the cut on his lip and then his nose feeling anger towards Adam building up in his stomach seeing Harry crying and the bruise forming on his left eye then took the rag and began wiping the blood off.

"I told you to go with Lottie. Where's Logan?" Harry mumbled.

"With Lottie. What's going on, why did he do this to you?" Louis asked just as the door opened and Robin and Mark walked in taking in the scene.

"Just leave, get out and never comeback! I'll be damned if I ever let you touch him again." Gemma managed to say through her sobbing.

"Gemma...." Harry warned her.

"The faggot deserved it!" Adam shouted making all of them flinch.

"No he didn't, he didn't deserve any of it." Gemma cried.

"Gemma shut up." Harry nearly growled taking a step forward but was held back by Louis who wrapped his arm around his waist not caring who saw anymore.

"No Harry, . I'm not gonna shut up. They need to know what this sick bastard did to you, I can't keep it secret anymore, it's killing me...I almost lost you two times because of him and I couldn't protect you." Gemma looked at Harry then back at Adam with a hateful and disgusted expression.

"Gemma...You promised." Harry took another step pleading to her.

"I need to know what, Gemma?" Anne asked.

"It's nothing mum." Harry said.

"Adam just leave." Robin said putting his hand on Adam's shoulder while Mark stood next to Jay, Louis and Harry.

"Don't tell me what to do." Adam growled shaking his hand off of his shoulder.

"This...thing....hurt Harry. When Harry came out to him a year before Louis did thinking he would support him and understand him-"

"Gemma shut up!" Harry interrupted her while Louis and everyone else stared at him.

"I was doing the right thing and you know it Gemma, I was trying to save him from burning in hell." Adam argued.

"How was beating your son until he passed out, cutting him, kicking him and making him go through all your damn satanic rituals saving him? You were supposed to protect him, not hurt him. He trusted you and I was so stupid for not saying anything but how could I if when I tried to stop you you beat me with a belt. I was stupid for promising my little brother I'll keep my mouth shut but not anymore." Gemma confessed just as Anne burst out crying then out of nowhere slapped Adam across the face.

"You son of a bitch how could you! My babies..." Anne lunged forward scratching him on the cheek leaving a long angry red mark behind before Mark pulled her away from him and Robin stepped in between them.

"Get out of my house and never comeback again." Robin yelled.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry bringing his head down to his shoulder feeling his hot tears soaking his skin and shirt as he cried not believing what Gemma had just confessed, he didn't want to believe it because it hurt, it hurt to know all the horrible things that had been done to Harry when he was just a boy and he had kept quiet going through it all alone. Now he understood everything, he understood why Harry had been so afraid and had done what he did. His dad had been understanding while Harry's biological dad had done horrible things to his own son.

"I thought you had been saved when you stopped going on and on about Louis here then...I hear you're still with this faggot good for nothing who turned you just like him." Adam spat as Jay grabbed Mark's hand to keep him from attacking Adam.

"He didn't do anything, he didn't turn me. Just leave...I did so many awful things to him, I- I became a monster because of you and I hurt my best friend, the only person I have always loved." Harry cried looking small and vulnerable.

"Shut up! You don't love him. You're sinners...managing to create the devil's spawn together just like all those other animals." Adam spat and all Harry saw in that moment was red.

He pushed out of his way whoever was on his path and punched Adam across the face sending him down to the floor not caring if he was his father anymore because to him he was dead and his one and only father was Robin, the father figure who was everything Adam couldn't and would never be. He could hear the faint screams and feel their hands trying to pull him away as he landed punch after punch at him blinded by rage, revenge and pain, all that he had put him through throughout the years he was finally letting out.

"I let you. hurt me. and do. things to me. but I'm not gonna. let you. talk about. Louis and my daughter. like that! Fucking bastard!" Harry screamed punching him harder.

His vision was blurred by all the tears as he sobbed loudly and punching him one more time he lifted his limp body up slamming him against the wall then wrapped his hands around his neck tightening his grip ignoring Louis' pleas to let him go as he squeezed harder closing his eyes not wanting to see him. He finally let go when Louis mentioned their daughter begging him to think about her and to stop letting him fall to the ground with a loud thump then took a step back looking at Adam's bloody face then his own hands in complete horror realizing he had become just like him once again and fell down on his knees covering his face with his hands crying and shaking violently. He tensed up when he felt arms wrapping around him and a pair of lips on his temple relaxing when he heard Louis whispering 'it's okay's' and 'I love you's' on his ear while he rubbed his back trying to calm him down.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." Harry sobbed rocking himself back and forth hearing Adam coughing while Louis made sure his dad and Robin were holding him down.

"Shh...You have nothing to be sorry for, nothing." Louis mumbled and not caring anymore pressed his lips against Harry's feeling everyone's eyes on them but in that moment all he cared about was Harry, his Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	22. Forget what he did, can I be the kid for your soul to keep?*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh I'm such a horrible human being. I'm so sorry for taking forever to update. Mom got sick then I got sick too Thursday then had work all day Friday and half a day Saturday. Then I had to do chores and every time I would sit down to write my family would interrupt me. But here it is and I hope it wasn't too shitty, I was under a lot of pressure. Hope you liked it. :)

Louis hugged Harry tighter while Robin and Mark took Adam to the kitchen to try and clean him up a bit letting go when Anne and Gemma walked up to them, he got up as soon as Anne hugged Harry and Gemma telling them how sorry she was. He walked towards Jay and let her hug him close when he burst out crying as soon as he was in her arms needing some sort of comfort after finding out all the things Adam had done to Harry and witnessing him beating his father to a pulp almost killing him. He glanced his way seeing Anne rocking him back and forth while he sobbed and clung to her like a small child then Gemma slowly got up and came back with a water bottle and tissues sitting down next to him.

"The police are on their way." Mark murmured to Jay.

"You called them?" Louis asked wiping off the wetness of his cheeks with his sleeves.

"Yeah...come here," Mark pulled Louis into a hug. "None of you boys are what he said and neither is my granddaughter. Remember that, always." Mark rubbed his back feeling Louis nodding on his shoulder.

"Anne asked you to call them?" Jay asked wrapping her arms around them.

"Robin. He wants him to pay for what he did to Harry and Gemma, they're adults now but it's still child abuse...they were just children. Harry was just- he was just fifteen and Gemma seventeen." Mark said feeling a lump forming in his throat.

When the police arrived Harry was still in his mother's arms and once he saw them he began to panic until Louis calmed him down telling him they were there for Adam to take him away where he would never be able to lay another finger on him ever again. After all of them gave their statements including a very nervous Harry that covered his ears to keep himself from hearing the obscenities Adam was shouting at him while he was being carried outside. As soon as he was outside Harry suddenly got up and ran outside ignoring their shouts telling him to come back and stopped in front of Adam who was looking back at him in disgust.

"Here to finish the job?" Adam croaked out making a new wave of fresh tears roll down Harry's cheeks as the two policemen looked down tightening their grip on him.

"Why?" Harry's voice trembled wiping away the tears.

"Because you're disgusting and a sinner, that's why." Adam glared.

"I...I never did anything wrong to you. I always tried my best to make you proud of me, I got good grades, I joined the football team...you were my hero. You were my dad and I looked up to you and loved you so why couldn't you just accept me for who I was...for who I am." Harry managed to keep his voice steady for most of the time ignoring his hateful looks.

"I didn't raised you to be a faggot, I don't want a faggot for a son and I just hope that other faggot, the spawn and you burn in hell." He spat as Harry let out a broken sob and one of the policeman pulled Adam backwards rather harshly.

"You're not longer my father, my father is Robin. You're dead to me Adam." Harry said then turned around walking away from him and into the house never looking back going straight to his room and locking the door ignoring everyone.

He walked up to his bed and got under the covers where he cried and cried letting everything out remembering what had been done to him, his sister Gemma and what he had done to Louis. He ignored anyone who knocked on his door burying his face on his pillows to muffle his sobs when Louis stood outside his door for almost an hour begging him to open the door and let him in and even if it hurt to ignore him he just wanted to be alone. An hour later deciding that she had had enough Anne grabbed the set of keys from one of the kitchen drawers and headed to Harry's room ignoring Gemma and Robin's pleas to leave him alone and unlocked the door walking in and locking it after herself.

"Harry...sweety." Anne mumbled trying to swallow the lump in her throat seeing her son's form curled up into a small ball under the covers that only worked to bring more tears to her eyes.

She walked up to him standing next to the bed then knelt down reaching to run her fingers through his tangled up hair seeing fresh tears running down to the side of his nose and right temple noticing how wet the pillow was where his head was resting.

"He's gone, he won't hurt you anymore." Anne mumbled kissing his temple pulling back in surprise when he began to sob loudly.

"What does it matter if the damage's already done." He sobbed pulling away from her.

"Harry..."

"I- I was so weak a- and I let him hurt Gemma and me." He sat up rubbing his hands on his face. "And I'm just like him...I'm- I'm a monster, I did awful things to L- Louis."

"Why didn't you say anything? I would've done something. Anything." Anne cried sitting next to him wrapping her arms around him.

"He..."

"He what? Harry no more secrets."

"He said he was gonna kill all of you and Louis if I said anything, I was trying to protect you but I ended up hurting him." Harry bitterly said closing his eyes resting his head on her chest.

"Louis wants to see you." Anne mumbled.

"I don't wanna see anybody I just want to be alone." Harry whispered.

"Love he hasn't moved at all waiting for you to let him in, he wants to be with you...don't push him away. He loves you, we talked and he told me he's giving you a chance to start over as a couple." Anne smiled a little kissing Harry's temple while stroking his back.

"You don't think it's wrong, all of you?" Harry lifted his head up to look at her.

"You still love each other and if you're both willing to try and make it work then no, we don't think it's wrong. Mark had a little bit of trouble accepting it but Lou convinced him you really want to be with them and I think he convinced him. All three of you deserve it and my granddaughter deserves to have a family, have both her parents together."

"Where are they?" Harry asked grabbing the ice Anne had for him.

"Logan's still with the girls and Louis is in the kitchen with everyone else. I'm gonna go tell him to come up and see you, I love you sweety and I will always love you no matter what." Anne said getting up kissing his forehead before she left.

He was back under the covers when Louis opened the door and quietly walked in, he hesitated a bit until Harry lifted the covers up and Louis got under them next to him feeling the soaked fabric underneath his left cheek. Louis didn't say a thing when Harry moved down to rest his head on his stomach but not before kissing it making Louis' heart skip a beat then began running his fingers through Harry's hair making him sigh in content even after everything.

"I'm sorry I ignored you, I just needed some time alone...I...I told him he was dead to me." Harry finally said after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm sorry. And I understand, I just- why...why didn't you told someone? Why did you kept it to yourself? We could've done something." Louis frantically asked unable to stop as he felt the area where Harry's head was resting getting damp from Harry's tears bringing more to his own eyes.

"He threatened to kill you and my family. I was fifteen and I was so afraid and naive I believed everything he said he would do. W- When I came out to him he blamed you because he thought you had turned me or something, I talked less and less about you until he stopped beating me and then you came out and..." Harry hesitated burying his face on Louis' stomach.

"And then what? Harry tell me." Louis urged him trying to pull Harry up and when he sat up his heart shattered seeing Harry's broken expression.

"I liked you...more than a friend and when you came out I went and told him I didn't wanted to hide anymore and that I just wanted to be myself." Harry wiped away the tears remembering what had happened.

"He said awful things to me and that night he and his friends- they, they tortured me. He said he was going to save me but he only hurt me and left me believing that being gay was wrong and two days after that was the first time I fucked up and hit you...and after that I couldn't stop and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis hiding his face on his chest almost making the smaller man fall backwards but managed to stay up.

"Shh, please don't cry. He won't hurt you again, I promise he won't." Louis whispered kissing the top of his head.

"He already did..." Harry sobbed then calmed down feeling Louis' lips on his temple and his hand rubbing circles on his back.

"I'm gonna go get Logan and-"

"No! Don't, I don't wanna see her." Harry frantically said and Louis slowly let go feeling like he has been slapped a million times.

"You- You don't want to see her?" He asked.

"I don't want her to see me like this, I don't wanna fuck up like Adam did...she'll hate me. I don't want her to hate me." He sobbed.

"You're not gonna fuck up and she loves you with all her heart, you're her dad and she won't hate you, she will never hate you. You're not like Adam."

"She will once she finds out about all the things I did to you."

"Who said she's gonna find out, we're never going to tell her."

"I'm scared Louis."

Louis swallowed the lump forming in his throat trying to figure out if it was the right time to tell him what he had been considering ever since Logan had gotten sick with the stomach flu.

"I know this is probably not the right time to tell you this but I've been thinking about it and we'll only do it if you want to. If you want to we could, we could change her last name and add your name in her birth certificate." Louis closed his eyes feeling Harry tensing up and slowly opened them seeing Harry looking at him with emotionless eyes.

"I want to do it when you're sure and you know you really want it and not because you feel sorry for me. I don't need nor want your pity Louis." Harry said and just like that moved away from Louis getting under the covers with his back to Louis.

"Harry..."

"I just want to be alone...please." Harry whimpered curling up into a small ball feeling the tears rolling down to his temple once again.

Louis sighed then got up wanting to at least give him one more kiss but didn't when he heard the small sob Harry let out and quietly left the room heading to his mum's house to pick Logan up. When he got there he expected her to be a crying and snot mess but instead he found her rolling around in the living room floor with Buttercup chasing after her while she sang move by Little Mix at the top of her lungs stopping when she saw him then continued what she had been doing. He looked at Lottie who blushed then shrugged smiling when Louis hugged her and kissed her forehead thanking her a million times for taking care of her and as soon as he had her and the dog he went back to Anne's house to give her something quick to eat then a bath then bedtime since their dinner had been interrupted.

*~*

"Daddy, can't go night night. I need my curly." Logan gasped wide eyed looking around for Harry after Louis had turned off the light and attempted to get her to go to sleep.

"He can't today baby, it's just us two tonight." Louis tried to smile even after Harry had refused to come out to kiss her goodnight.

"No...I want daddy, we can't go night night without daddy." Logan began to sniffle blinking faster to get the tears out.

"We can get buttercup love. Want me to go get him so he can sleep with us?" Louis asked getting out of bed bending down to get his shoes looking up just as Logan got out of bed and ran to Harry's room.

"Daddy? It's night night time, we sleep together."

Louis found her outside Harry's room knocking on the door trying to open it but couldn't since it was locked while his anger directed to Harry grew and grew for ignoring her not knowing Harry was sitting on the other side of the door crying and touching his bruised eye feeling the physical pain that even if he tried he would never be able to compare to the one in his heart. He reached and unlocked the door not daring to open it when she began to cry kicking on the door then pulled at his hair hearing Louis taking her back to their room shushing her down and as soon as he heard him close the door he opened his and stared at their door before he went back to his bed crying himself to sleep confirming that in fact he was a shit parent just like Adam but he couldn't let her see the mess he was.

A few hours later Harry woke up panting and sweating trying to forget his father cutting the letter F in the back of his upper thighs trying to even out his ragged breaths and wiping away his sweat from his forehead stopping what he was doing when he saw the door moving a bit. He stayed still afraid it was Adam coming back to torture him again but all he saw was a tiny figure with crazy curly hair timidly walking into the room carrying her teddy bear in one arm and dragging her blanket with the other. She carefully set her bear on the bed followed by her blanket and began trying to climb with difficulty. Harry grabbed the covers tightly when she used them as leverage to climb and as soon as she was on the bed she grabbed her stuff to lay down next to him and snuggled up to him sighing in content when Harry wrapped his arms around her bringing her closer to him.

"What are you doing here lovebug, where's daddy Lou?" Harry mumbled kissing her forehead feeling horrible for ignoring her earlier.

"Missed you. You don't like to go night night with me and daddy anymore." Logan mumbled through her thumb half asleep.

"That's not it sweety...I'm a little sick and I didn't wanted you and daddy to get sick too." Harry lied cuddling her closer then turned on the light when she sat up.

"You have a booboo too." She gasped then leaned forward to gently kiss Harry's bruised up eye. "Daddy says with kisses you'll be good as new."

"Do you know how much I love you? To the moon and back baby girl." Harry's eyes watered as he reached to pull her into his lap kissing the top of her head.

"I love you to the moon and back too, lots and lots. Do you love daddy too?" Logan asked wide eyed.

"I do, very very much."

"Then we go night night together." Logan got up on her knees pulling on Harry's arm with one hand and rubbing her eye with the other.

Harry stared at his daughter realizing he hadn't wanted anyone to pity him but all he had done was pity himself and grabbing a sleepy Logan and her stuff he made his way to Louis' room just as Louis ran out of the room looking for her nearly panicking but relaxed when he saw her fast asleep in Harry's arms.

"I'll take her...you can go back to sleep." Louis murmured avoiding Harry's eyes still mad at him for ignoring her.

"It's okay, I got her." Harry walked into the room and carefully set her down in the middle of the bed putting Mr. Curls under her arm along with the blanket then sat down on his side of the bed when sleeping with them.

"Aren't you gonna go back to your room?" Louis asked rather harshly making Harry flinch.

"I didn't mean to ignore her...I just didn't wanted her to see my face, I didn't wanted to scare her"

"You should go back to your room and I don't know about you but Logan and I are leaving tomorrow morning." Louis said getting under the covers pulling Logan closer to him.

"Y- You don't have a car, how are you gonna go back?" Harry asked feeling the desperation seeping in at the thought that maybe he was losing them again because of his stupidity.

"I'll ask mum or dad to drive us or take the train just...go back to your bed Harry." Louis closed his eyes then opened them again when he felt him move wanting to cry when Harry got up but it went away as soon as Harry got under the covers behind him wrapping his arm around them.

"I'm coming with you, I don't wanna lose you again. We can go back together but please don't leave me, please don't leave me." Harry begged then kissed the back of Louis' neck.

"Harry we're not gonna leave you, I'm just hurt because you ignored her and because you thought I only want her to have you legally as her father as a way to make you feel better." Louis said intertwining his fingers with Harry's.

"How am I supposed to feel after everyone found out what he did to me, Gemma promised to never say anything and she did...I thought everyone was pitying me. I'm sorry, I know I keep fucking things up and I'm so sorry."

"I've been considering changing her last name since that day you told me Anna had to sign at the hospital and then decided I did wanted to do it after our first date. I was just going to ask you if you wanted to do it but if you don't want to then that's fine." Louis explained thinking the worst but Harry only attacked his face with kisses startling Logan in her sleep who moved away from them then Louis yelped when Harry turned him around so he was on his back and Harry straddling him.

"That's- yeah, I want to...I would love to. Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me." Harry smiled learning down to kiss Louis who immediately kissed back then pulled back to look at Logan seeing she hadn't even moved.

"I've been doing research and I'll download the form when we get home and do it as soon as we can, we're gonna need a DNA test to speed things up and make it easier." Louis smiled.

"Anything." Harry said getting off of Louis and under the covers next to Logan. "Do you mind if I sleep here tonight? We'll still leave if you want to."

"Of course not and tomorrow at noon if you want to, but if you want to stay here longer then that's okay with me."

"No, I want to go back and I know they'll understand." Harry kissed their foreheads. "Good night, I love you and I love you too princess."

"Love you more." Louis smiled falling sleep rather easier now that Harry was there.

*~*

"Are you sure you don't want to stay a few more days?" Anne asked as Harry loaded their bags into the car.

"I have to go back to work and honestly...I need to get away from here. I need time and you can always go visit us, I would love to have you all there." Harry hugged her.

"That sounds great, a weekend could work for all of us especially for Jay, Mark and the girls."

"I swear you are both attached at the hip, never one without the other." Harry chuckled.

"You know us. Be safe and take care of Louis and Logan."

"Louis wants to add my name to her birth certificate. He asked me last night if I wanted to change her last name." Harry smiled wanting to share it with her.

"Baby that's wonderful, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks. I'm just grateful he wants me around after everything." Harry looked down then back at his mum trying to smile a little.

"He's a sweet boy and he loves you, don't let him go again." Anne kissed his cheek then walked up to Louis seeing Gemma coming.

"I'm sorry Harry...I know I promised but it was eating me alive." Gemma apologized as soon as she was in front of him.

"Come here Gems," Harry pulled her into a hug. "You have nothing to apologize for, I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. I was just scared."

"I was too but not anymore, he's dead to me Harry. One thing I always want you to remember is that I love so so much and I love Louis and Logan just as much. We protect each other, right?" Gemma smiled trying not to cry.

"Right, we protect each other. I love you." Harry pulled away to kiss her forehead.

"Could I talk to you Harry?" Robin smiled.

"Sure dad." Harry smiled giving Gemma another hug and a kiss.

"I just wanted to tell you that no matter what you are my son, it doesn't matter that you're not biologically my son because to me you are and that precious little girl I already love with all my heart is my granddaughter. All three of you are my family." Robin smiled hugging him.

"You are my dad...have always being, thank you for accepting me for who I am and for accepting Louis and our daughter." Harry held onto the man he was proud to call dad.

"They're waiting bud, I already got lots of kisses and hugs from Logan." Robin let go of him.

"I'll see you soon, love you dad."

"Love you too son."

Harry got in the car with a big smile on his face seeing Logan playing with Buttercup in the back seat remembering how that morning when they woke up she had kissed and hugged him once again telling him he was gonna be good as new then had clung to him all day. Seeing his family getting smaller and smaller as he drove away he took Louis' hand on his smiling at each other.

*~*

"Are you staying over for dinner?" Louis asked as soon as Harry had parked his car in one of the three parking spots next to Louis' car where it had always almost been empty but now Harry's car was always parked there.

"Yeah. We should order Chinese, I've been craving it like crazy." Harry said getting out of the car to get Louis and Logan's bags out while Louis unbuckled Logan putting her down when she began to squirm and whine never letting go of the dog's leash.

"Logan please give me your hand." Louis said stopping her and taking the leash when she tried to make a run for it.

"No." Logan shook her head hiding her hands from Louis behind her back.

"And why not?" Louis asked trying to be patient.

"They're gonna think we're married daddy, Cassandra says only married people hold hands." Logan explained while Harry tried not to laugh.

"They won't baby, they know I'm your daddy and you can't walk on your own without holding my hand. Too many cars." Louis insisted.

"I don't want to. I'm a big girl and big girls don't hold daddy's hand." She took a step back trying a different approach as Louis internally groaned wondering where she had picked that up from.

"Well big girls listen to their daddies and right now you're not listening at all." Harry explained hoping to prevent a right fit.

"No!" Logan yelled pouting and moving backwards every time Louis moved closer to her.

"Either you hold my hand or I carry you. You choose." Louis placed his hands on his waist.

"I said no!"

"Logan...."

Harry didn't even finished talking when Louis gave him the leash then took a step forward grabbing her hand making her cry and try to pull her hand out of his grip getting louder and louder the more she pulled realizing he wasn't going to let go anytime soon. Louis gave Harry his keys and motioned for him to go ahead and take their two bags focusing back on her when she went limp then picked her up not wanting to pull too much on her arm. She started thrashing in his arms as soon as she was picked up ignoring everyone who was watching them and as soon as he was in the elevator next to Harry he set her down crouching down in front of her.

"What's gotten into you? When I say you have to hold my hand it's for your own good." Louis scolded her as she kept crying and rubbing her eyes and Harry fought the urge to pick her up and comfort her, maybe buy her a kitten or two to make her happy again but he knew better than to do the opposite of what Louis wanted to do.

"Big girls don't h- hold their daddy's h- hand." Logan cried and intentionally coughed.

"I know you're faking that cough so stop it right now. Big girls are good girls and listen to their daddies, right now you're not listening at all." Louis grabbed both her hands on his.

"I'm a good girl daddy, I'm sorry." Logan wailed reaching to rub her eyes then wrapped her arms around his neck clinging to him.

"You're gonna listen next time we ask you to do something?" Louis asked wrapping an arm around her small waist.

"Y- Yes." She hiccuped against Louis' neck as he slowly got up with her in his arms wiping her tears away with his thumb.

"Love you, don't cry. Are you hungry?" Louis asked her kissing her cheek shifting her to his other hip to get his phone out and order take out.

As soon as Harry opened the door Logan ran straight to the couch throwing herself on it with her bear and blanket then got up again to crawl into Louis' lap once she noticed him taking a seat next to her seeing the dog sleeping under the coffee table.

"Look what I found in the lobby." Harry said giving Louis a flyer.

"What's this?" He asked grabbing it holding Logan's back with the other to keep her from falling backwards.

"Ballet and karate classes. Registration starts tomorrow, you think she'll like taking ballet classes?" Harry sat next to Louis looking excited at the prospect of their daughter doing ballet.

"We could take her and see if she likes it and I have to go download that form so we can fill it up...Oh and call El so she can cover that bruise up." Louis said putting the paper down on the coffee table then grabbed Logan's blanket to wrap it around her.

"Make me look gorgeous?" Harry joked nuzzling his face on the crook of his neck planting a small kiss where shoulder and neck meet.

"Very gorgeous, better than Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic and that's saying something." Louis teased feeling at his happiest.

"Oh you love me and just 'cause you said it then I believe you." Harry smiled moving to kiss Logan's temple then Louis.

"I'm hungry." Logan looked up at Louis.

"Food's almost here love. Want to watch a movie while we wait?" Louis asked resting his head on the top of her head holding Harry's hand.

"Yes...please and thank you."

"Which one?" Louis asked.

"The cars." Logan mumbled poking Harry's shoulder giggling when Harry tried to eat it and kissed it.

"I'll put it in."

Harry got up as soon as Louis moved to do so then after pressing play he ran to the front door coming back with a brown bag putting it on the coffee table going to the kitchen to get drinks after making sure Louis was okay with them eating there then came back with three glasses of water having made sure to get Logan a plastic one.

"I want soda, I don't want water." Logan frowned looking at what was in the cup.

"Soda makes you hyper and we're having water too." Louis said placing a plate of sweet and sour chicken in front of her.

"Just a bit daddy." She insisted.

"If you drink soda you're not gonna finish your food and then feel bloated." Louis offered her the cup smiling when she took it taking a small sip.

She focused her attention back on the movie sitting on one of her tiny chairs in front of the coffee table slowly eating her food while Louis and Harry sat next to each other eating their food and enjoying the movie they had already seen at least a million times.

"Do you want to get that DNA test done tomorrow before we take her to those ballet classes." Louis asked turning his head around to look at Harry.

"Sure, but is it really necessary? I know she's mine." Harry said reaching to move Louis' hair out of his forehead.

"Not really but it does help to speed things up. How are we gonna write the surnames?"

"Tomlinson Styles?"

"How about Styles-Tomlinson with a hyphen in between?" Louis asked.

"Are you sure you want my last name first? It's okay with me if you want to leave Tomlinson first and just add mine." Harry asked giving Logan a napkin.

"I'm sure, let's do yours first with the hyphen. I want it that way." Louis leaned in to give him a quick kiss.

"Okay then."

"Are you gonna go back to your place."

"I have to, I have work tomorrow...but I can always stay if you want me too."

"I would love to." Louis smiled pressing his body against Harry's side going back to watching the movie and eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mxr41eXCdM1t0fgedo1_250_zps0e706646.gif.html)   
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> Thoughts?


	23. I'll keep my eyes wide open*

The first thing Harry heard as soon as he stepped back into Louis' flat with his luggage was Logan's giggles and the running water coming from her bathroom knowing Louis was giving her a bath to get her ready to go to sleep in her own bed even though Harry had told him he didn't mind her sleeping with them. Louis had immediately shot that option down not wanting it to become a habit of hers or she'll never want to sleep on her own ever again and they would have no alone time at all. He walked into the living room and subconsciously started picking up the DVD cases and toys littering the floor then moved onto the couches folding the blanket he and Louis had used leaving Logan's where it was or she would make a mess again trying to find it wanting them to give it to her when she couldn't find it even though they didn't had it either. He grabbed the dirty popcorn bowls and the cups heading to the kitchen where he rinsed them off before putting them in the dishwasher then bent down to pour water in the dog's bowl then headed back to the living room.

"You can put your stuff in my room and if you want to you can take a shower while I get her ready for bed." Louis quickly said running after a giggling Logan tightening her grip on the pink towel around her.

Harry smiled shaking his head in a fond manner grabbing his luggage walking to Louis' room where he abruptly realized he had never been in before as he slowly opened the door. The room was spacious like his own and the walls were a creamy color while Louis' walls were white. Their rooms were almost similar with the bathroom door next to the door where he was standing, his bed was pushed up against the wall opposite of the wall where he had a dresser and then a big window opposite of the bathroom doors.

"There are clean towels in the bathroom cabinet and just use whatever you need. Do you still have clean pajamas?" Louis walked in holding Logan's purple pajama shorts.

"Yeah, mum did my laundry even though I told her she didn't had to." Harry smiled taking his shirt off walking closer to Louis.

"Daddy, I'm sleeping in my undies?" Logan yelled from her room just as Harry had wrapped his arms around Louis' waist.

"No you're not." Louis yelled back pecking Harry's lips before he walked out leaving Harry alone to shower wearing the biggest smile.

After he was done showering he entertained Logan drawing together while Louis showered thankful that he had Harry there to keep an eye on her taking his time and not showering as fast as he could like he was used to. He got out of the shower noticing it was time for Logan to go to bed and after he was dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a loose t-shirt he walked to the living room finding Harry walking around with Logan in his arms trying to get her to fall asleep humming a foreign tune.

"She's asleep. Is she sleeping with us?" Harry whispered.

"No, she's sleeping in her bed or she won't ever want to sleep alone if we keep letting her sleep with us." Louis murmured taking her blanket and teddy bear motioning for Harry to follow him.

They walked into her room where Harry carefully tucked her in and Louis placed both items next to her kissing her forehead with Harry doing the same then turned off the light and walked out leaving the door half closed and her Woody night light on. He grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him towards his room closing the door letting go to pull the covers back not bothering to turn the light on since the lights outside his window were enough for him to be able to see a little. Harry then followed him to the bathroom where they brushed their teeth each using their own sink giving Louis the feeling that that's the way it was supposed to be, both of them doing that every night for the rest of their lives and never getting tired of it.

"We have an appointment for the DNA test tomorrow at ten then those ballet classes at eleven." Louis spoke getting under the covers followed by Harry who immediately wrapped his arms around his waist pulling him back against his warm naked chest.

"When did you set it up love?" Harry nuzzled his face on the back of Louis' neck.

"While we were watching Mulan, I ordered the eight hour express one and we get them at six tomorrow."

"We could have waited five days Lou, we have all the time in the world to do everything we want." Harry smiled kissing the back of his neck.

"I know but I wanted to change it before she starts school meaning I need those results by to- tomorrow." Louis' eyes widened feeling Harry's hand slowly moving from his waist down to his inner thigh.

"How long do we have until she wakes up again?" Harry asked lightly nipping on Louis' ear lobe.

"I- I, Harry!" Louis gasped when Harry began palming him through his sweatpants.

"Want me to stop?" Harry stopped his movements afraid of upsetting Louis.

"No no, just- just keep going." Louis quickly said closing his eyes feeling Harry's hand finding its way inside his pants and his lips kissing the back of his neck.

"I want to try something." Harry mumbled as soon as Louis' cock was fully erect as well as his.

"What?"

Harry leaned in and whispered on Louis' ear making his blue eyes go wide and his face burn with embarrassment and anticipation at what Harry wanted to do. He muttered a tiny and shy okay feeling Harry lifting his shirt up kissing him before he got up on his knees and slowly lowered Louis' sweatpants. Louis let out a soft gasp when the cool air hit his erection as Harry moved down to get under the covers kissing all the way down from his chest to his thighs not touching him at all where he wanted to be touched. Harry nervously licked his lips hoping to make it a great experience for Louis since he had never done it before and he knew Louis had never gotten one before.

He looked up seeing Louis chewing on his bottom lip waiting for him to do something then slowly leaned down kissing the tip smearing precome all over his lips at the same time Louis let out a tiny moan grabbing fist-fulls of the bed sheets. Harry took that as a good sign licking around the head before he moved down and licked a long stripe from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip reaching down to stroke himself after pulling down his own pants. He rubbed small circles on Louis' inner thigh taking him into his mouth going slow to keep himself from choking, he licked around it trying to keep his teeth out of the way wrapping his lips around them and hollowing his cheeks.

"H- Harry." Louis moaned lifting his hips up quickly putting them back down when Harry began coughing.

"Hmm..." Harry managed to mutter bobbing his head up and down while pumping himself faster cradling Louis' balls with the other and feeling his hand massaging his scalp then pulling on his hair.

"I'm not- I'm, I'm not gonna la- oh god." Louis closed his eyes breathing hard coming right in Harry's mouth just as Harry came inside his pants and into his hand.

They were still coming down from their highs with Harry resting his head on Louis' lower stomach still under the covers when the door was slammed open and a cranky yet sleepy Logan walked in holding her blanket and Mr. Curls making them shot up from their spots to try and cover themselves up.

"Logan what are you doing here? You were supposed to be sleeping." Louis said pulling his sweatpants up.

"I want to sleep with you. What's daddy doing there? Are you cold daddy?" Logan asked seeing Harry still under the covers them furrowed her eyebrows in confusion trying to climb on the bed.

"He's uh...he's..." Louis stuttered.

"Hi lovebug. What are you doing here princess?" Harry asked coming back out from underneath the blankets blushing a deep red.

"I wanted to go nigh night together but I woke up and I wasn't here with you and daddy. What are you doing, are you cold?" Logan asked smiling when Louis picked her up.

"I was...I was uh, I was looking for daddy's sock. He lost his sock and I was trying to find it." Harry nervously said feeling like she could tell he was lying.

"I help too."

"No that's okay baby, I already looked and its not in there. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and look for it there, I'll be right back." Harry quickly said getting up and wincing at the stickiness in his crotch.

"Kiss me night night daddy." Logan puckered up her lips as Harry's eyes widened rather comically waiting for Louis to help him.

"He'll kiss you night night when he gets back because he has to brush his teeth too and while he does that you and I are gonna count all the way to twenty today." Louis kissed her cheek laying down with her next to him listening as she began to count proud of herself for knowing them.

Harry quickly ran to the bathroom where he cleaned himself up and changed into a pair of sweatpants then frantically brushed his teeth before walking back seeing Logan and Louis passed out in the middle of the king size bed hugging each other. He smiled and got under the covers next to Logan wrapping his arm around them kissing Logan's temple then Louis' forehead waking him up.

"I love you Haz." Louis mumbled.

"I love you too angel." Harry smiled.

~*~

The next morning Louis woke up at eight and unable to go back to sleep got up to the bathroom then to the kitchen to see if he had anything good to make breakfast with not having the heart to wake Harry and Logan up that early. He was still thinking when someone knocked on the door and without thinking he opened it getting tackled into a hug by a bouncy Niall, he smiled happy to see them until he remembered who was in his room cuddling with his daughter. He hugged Zayn and Eleanor noticing them carrying a few bags then let them in taking deep breaths trying to find a way to tell them he and Harry were together and that he was sleeping in his room at the moment.

"I missed you guys." Louis smiled following them to the kitchen.

"We missed you too Lou, where's my baby girl?" Eleanor asked.

"She's still sleeping."

"We brought breakfast." Zayn said taking food out of the bags.

"Thanks. Listen guys, I need to tell you something. It's very important." Louis nervously said taking a seat.

"What is it Tommo? Wait! You met someone in Hawaii and you're dating." Niall smiled like a fool and Louis tensed up.

"Well I..." Louis started then stopped when he saw them.

"Hey babe who was it at the door?" Harry groggily asked walking into the kitchen holding a sleepy Logan on his hip trying to fix her frizzy curls not bothering to look up.

"What is he doing here only wearing sweatpants and why is he calling you babe?" Zayn demanded turning around to look at Louis expecting an answer.

"Oh my God Harry what happened to you?" Eleanor gasped making Zayn and Niall look at him wondering the same.

"Finally punched him back Lou?" Zayn smirked as Harry looked down tightening his grip on Logan.

"Zayn! What happened, why is he all beat up?" Niall asked looking at Harry then at Louis.

"It's- it's personal, I can't-"

"My biological dad is a homophobic and he did this to me, that's all." Harry interrupted Louis taking a seat next to him with Logan still half asleep in his arms.

"But why exactly?" Zayn asked.

"Guys! He doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to. We wanted to talk to you...Harry and I are together now. We decided to start over and so far it's going great." Louis smiled holding Harry's hand under the table.

"Oh Lou, no wonder why you look so happy...and you're glowing. You know I support you no matter what and if it makes you happy then we're happy. Right boys?" Eleanor smiled sweetly at both boys.

"Yeah, we respect your decision and support you no matter what." Niall beamed.

"Could I talk to you Harry? In private." Zayn said getting watching Harry giving Logan to Louis.

Harry followed Zayn out of the kitchen and into the living room out of ear shot from them and stopped just as Zayn did and turned around to look at Harry not happy at all.

"Look I have to admit I don't like you that much anymore and if I haven't beat the shit out of you yet it's only because of Louis and Logan but if you ever hurt him again and hurt that little girl I swear I'll kill you." Zayn threatened then spoke in a much softer tone. "He's giving you another chance so please don't fuck it up and please don't ever hurt him again...he's not like my brother because to me he is my brother and I don't want to see him sad ever again."

"I would never hurt him again, I love them. They're my everything and I just want the best for them." Harry said never losing eye contact with Zayn.

"You better. C'mon, we should go back." Zayn said.

They found Logan in Eleanor's lap telling them all about her week with her Ninna and Nanna making Louis blush a deep red and Harry choke on his own saliva when she told them she wanted a baby brother like her new friend had one while Zayn raised his eyebrows and Eleanor and Niall only smiled wider encouraging her to continue. After Harry had put on a clean shirt they ate breakfast where Louis announced he was going to include Harry's name on the birth certificate.

"Why do you guys need a DNA test if you know she's his?" Zayn asked completely confused.

"It just speeds things up if we show them she's biologically his instead of them only having my word." Louis explained.

"Sounds logical." Niall nodded then went back to drawing with Logan.

"We're also going to take her and see if she wants to take ballet classes." Harry winced a bit letting Eleanor apply make up on his bruises.

"That's great, she's gonna look so cute in her pink tutu. What time do you have to be there for the DNA test?" Eleanor asked finishing up what she was doing.

"In an hour." Louis answered looking at the clock in the stove.

"Let me know if she likes ballet...I'm so excited. I have to get going but- when do you get the results back?" Eleanor asked getting up kissing the side of Logan's head.

"Today at six, I ordered the express one." Louis said also getting up from his spot.

"Liam and I'll be here at six thirty just so we can hear what we already know." She smiled.

"We'll be waiting here." Louis said handing Logan a red crayon.

"We'll be here too." Zayn said taking Logan into his lap to give her a long hug making up for the days he didn't see her.

~*~

Ten minutes before ten they found themselves waiting to be called in for their turn while Louis held Logan as she looked around with wide eyes and when they were called in she clung to him like never before not liking where they were heading. After they had gotten a sample from Harry she began crying not wanting the lab specialist near her in fear of getting injected or given nasty medicine ending up with Louis taking the sample himself assuring her it was going to be completely painless calming her down a bit. They were told they could pick them up at six and after thanking them they headed to Camden School of the Arts to check the classes out while Harry hoped she would like ballet but knowing their daughter he didn't know what to expect anymore.

"But you're gonna look so cute in your pink tutu and don't you like the pink thights?" Harry crouched down in front of her after she flat out refused to ballet classes.

"No, it's ugly and it makes my legs itchy. Daddy I want to be like Mulan and a ninja like uncle Zayn. Uncle Zayn says he's a ninja and I want to be one too." Logan pouted ready to bring out the tears if necessary.

"Are you sure you want to take karate lessons?" Louis asked.

"Yes." Logan pouted even more just like Louis used to pout at Harry to get what he wanted.

"Okay lovebug, karate it is then." Harry smiled giving in thinking of how she pouted exactly like Louis and that had always been his weakness, a cute button nose, pout and beautiful blue eyes.

"Yay!" Logan cheered.

"You always give in too easily, she can't always get what she wants." Louis said watching Harry fill out the paperwork.

"But look at her and her cute pout, I can't say no to that. How does it not affect you?"

"I'm immune to her." Louis giggled.

"Looks like we're gonna have to go shopping and classes start in three weeks, sign it please." Harry passed a stack of sheets to Louis then handed them back to Mrs. Johnson, Logan's new teacher who she had immediately taken a liking to.

"Thank you Mr. Styles, Mr. Tomlinson. It was nice meeting you Miss. Logan, I'll see you here in three weeks." Mrs. Johnson smiled shaking hands with her.

"See you in three weeks." Logan gave her a toothy grin waving at her as she walked away.

"Are we going shopping now or..?" Louis asked grabbing Logan's hand.

"I can't today love, I have to go to the studio and I was gonna ask you if you could drop me off and you take my car." Harry said.

"Okay, want me to pick you up at five or five thirty."

"Five thirty works."

"Is...is Drew going to be there?" Louis asked chewing on his bottom lip.

"Yes but don't worry about him Lou." Harry picked Logan up so he could wrap his arm around Louis' waist.

"But what if he tries to get you back, what if he steals you from me." Louis' voice trembled as they made their way back to the car.

Harry stopped to kiss his forehead then his lips rubbing circles on his left cheek with his thumb, " You know I love you and I'm here to stay. I only love you and want you, no one else but you."

"I love you too." Louis smiled again making Harry smile.

Louis dropped Harry off giving him a long kiss then drove back to his flat to try and clean it up a bit while Logan watched Mulan after picking up her toys. While he waited for the time to get there to pick him up he taught Logan how to spell her name then played tea party with her leaving her watching The Amazing World of Gumball while he prepared dinner for every body. Once he was done making the Fettuccine Alfredo he dressed Logan up into a pair of jeans, Tom's and a pink hoodie putting her hair up into a ponytail and headed to pick Harry up in his car since Logan's car seat was already there. They were greeted by Grace who immediately started cooing at Logan and after she gave her a lollipop telling him Harry was downstairs with Drew making Louis tense up walking faster to get there sooner. He felt his blood boiling when he saw them hugging ignoring Logan wiping her mouth with her sleeves as she sucked on the candy, all he wanted was Drew away from his Harry.

"Am I interrupting something?" Louis said through gritted watching them separate from each other.

"No you're not. I- I wanted to apologize to you and Harry, I said really ugly things to you and I'm really sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me but I just wanted to apologize and I was just saying goodbye to Harry...I'm moving to France for a new job." Drew shyly said feeling ashamed for his past actions.

"I don't believe that sudden change of heart." Louis said ignoring Harry's eyes on him.

"I don't expect you to believe me either and I get it. I realized Harry wasn't the one for me because he loves you and your daughter, I'm such a horrible person for calling her all those things. I'm really sorry, I- I have to go." Drew quickly left the room.

"What was that all about?" Louis asked as Harry picked his stuff up.

"He resigned and apologized, asked for a last hug and I gave him one. Ready to go love." Harry said pecking him on the lips then kissed Logan's forehead.

"I got a lollipop daddy." Logan announced showing him the candy.

"You did baby! Who gave it to you?" Harry smiled putting his bag over his shoulders.

"The nice lady." She answered smiling through the lollipop.

"Did you say thank you to Grace?"

"Mhm."

"It was just an innocent hug Lou." Harry said noticing how quiet he was.

"Sure didn't look like it." Louis muttered trying not to roll his eyes.

"He's gone now and I only love you, I proved it to you last night." Harry teased making Louis blush.

"We got interrupted if you remember...but it was great." Louis said.

"I'm glad you liked it, it was my first time doing it and we should stop talking about this in front of her and get going." Harry blushed guiding Louis back upstairs.

"Yeah we should. I made Fettuccine Alfredo for dinner, if you're staying which means I want you to stay." Louis said.

"Of course I'm staying. I'll see you monday Grace." Harry said waving at Grace as Louis and Logan did the same.

"Are you driving or do you want me to drive?" Louis asked as soon as they were in the car buckling Logan up taking the sticky white stick from her to throw it away.

"You. I'm too lazy to do it." Harry pouted getting in the passengers seat.

"Lazy ass." Louis fondly muttered.

"We should go pick those results up so we can fill out the form." Harry smiled.

When they got there it was already six then drove back home while Louis tried not to stop the car and open them wanting to wait until everyone was there and had eaten dinner. The first ones to arrive where Eleanor and Liam and after hugging them Liam went straight to play with Logan and Buttercup completely oblivious to the loved up looks Eleanor was giving him while Harry was already planning in his head how to make Liam see he had a perfect beautiful young woman in front of him. Zayn and Niall walked through the front doors and as soon as Louis saw Niall he knew something was up noticing him literally jumping up and down and before they could ask Niall dropped the bomb.

"We're getting married." He said smiling so big Zayn only had eyes for him and no one else.

"Ahh, oh my gosh congratulations! Let me see the ring." Eleanor tackled him into a hug admiring the ring on Niall's finger.

"Congratulations to both of you, I'm so happy for you." Louis pulled Zayn into a hug.

"I want you to be my best man. Please Lou, I wouldn't want anybody else." Zayn said hugging him tighter.

"Of course, I would love to. Who's gonna be Niall's?" Louis pulled back.

"Greg. God I can't wait to marry him, I love him so much...ever since I was seventeen." Zayn said admiring Niall talking with Eleanor, Harry, and Liam.

"You both deserve to be happy." Louis smiled.

"So do you Lou." Zayn quietly said tearing up a bit when Louis finally nodded.

"Uncle Zayn I'm gonna be a ninja like you!" Logan shouted running straight to his arms.

"You are? That's my girl." Zayn picked her up high fiving her.

"She decided she wants to take karate. Sorry El." Louis said watching her as she moved to stand next to Liam.

"That's okay Lou, she's gonna look so cute." She smiled.

"Congratulations." Both Harry and Liam said at the same time getting thank you's from them and big smiles.

"When are you guys getting married?" Eleanor asked moving closer to Liam.

"We don't know yet but we already picked our flower girl." Niall poked Logan's side making her squeak.

"You're marrying uncle Niall because you love him and hug him tight?" Logan asked playing with Zayn's necklace.

"Mhm, that's right cupcake." Zayn pecked her forehead.

"Are my daddies getting married too? They love and hug each other tight too." Logan said turning around to look at Harry chocking on the water he had been drinking and Louis patting his back blushing as red as a tomato.

"We don't know monster." Niall said watching her run after the dog when Zayn put her down.

"You guys act like a teenage couple who haven't even kissed yet, it's okay and Liam already knows." Eleanor winked at them making Louis blush harder knowing they had already done more than that reminding him he needed to buy a pregnancy test just to be sure.

"So when do we get to see the DNA results?" Zayn asked.

"After dinner, I made Fettuccini Alfredo for all of us so please take a seat in the dining room cause we don't have space here." Louis said taking the pot full of food setting it in the middle of the table.

After they were done eating and Harry had helped Louis clean everything up having received many compliments for the food they all took a seat in the living room while Logan played with a baby doll pushing it around in a pink toy stroller until she took it out and decided to push Buttercup around putting him inside the stroller with Liam's help.

"Read them." Niall urged.

"No you do it." Louis handed him the envelope.

"Okay."Niall smiled tearing it open.

They watched him while he read them smiling a little but it quickly turned in confusion as he read in silence over and over again. He gave them to Zayn who quickly read them in silence furrowing his eyebrows then handed them to Liam who was closer to him, he looked between Louis and Harry then back at the results with furrowed eyebrows.

"Well what does it say?" Harry asked him.

"Umm, you- you should read it." Liam tried to give him the piece of paper.

"Just read them Liam, we already know she's mine." Harry urged him.

"Okay...um, the probability of Harry Styles being the biological father of Logan Tomlinson is...0%. Therefore it is practically proven that Mr. Harry Styles is not the biological father of Logan Tomlinson." Liam finished taking a deep breath.

"Wh- what?" Louis asked then turned to look at a stunned Harry. "Harry...I swear she's yours. It must be an error." Louis began to panic when Harry looked at him with a blank expression not doing anything at all then looked at the rest of them who waited for a reaction.

He didn't know whether to leave or take Logan from Harry when she ran up to him colliding with his knees holding Valerie and Kelly offering him the doll he always played with.

"We play again daddy." Logan smiled holding up the doll.

"Logan...come here." Louis carefully said reaching for her but stopped when Harry picked her up and hugged her tight against his chest.

"They're wrong, you are my daughter. You're my baby...you're mine." Harry frantically said rocking her from side to side kissing the side of her head feeling her small arms around his neck as he looked like a lioness trying to protect her cub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mwudxuUldr1rzamo7o1_500_zpsc516412d.gif.html)   
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> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mwudxuUldr1rzamo7o1_500_zpsc516412d.gif
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> Thoughts? :)


	24. You are the best thing that's ever been mine*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't know what to say other than I'm really sorry for taking forever and making you all wait, I had a very busy week. The song on the link below I listened to it on repeat while typing this, set the mood for the chapter to me. You guys should listen to it. :)
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> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2jVkDaRgjw

"It has to be a mistake, I just know these are the wrong results." Zayn said glancing over at the corner of the living room where Harry had Logan on his lap building a tower with her plastic blocks never letting go of her.

"He won't talk to me...He thinks I lied to him." Louis mumbled trying not to cry.

"I know he doesn't think that Louis, he's just in shock and he knows she's his...He just wants to be with her right now." Liam tried to make him feel better watching Harry using his body to shield Logan from them.

"But he won't even let me be near him...or her." Louis insisted.

"He needs time Lou, let him be alone with her." Eleanor wrapped her arms around him kissing his temple.

"He'll come around. You need to go back to that clinic and demand to know what happened, it's impossible for her not to be his." Niall sighed only getting a nod from Louis.

After Liam had read the results and Harry had picked Logan up he had backed away into the corner where Logan kept her toys glaring at anybody who tried to touch her even at Louis thinking he was trying to take her away from him. He began playing with her plastic blocks ignoring Louis' attempts at talking to him to assure him that she was his and that he had been his first and had never been with anybody else but him. Harry stayed silent only talking to his daughter until everyone left then wordlessly got up with her in his arms and headed to the bathroom to give her a bath and after he was done he sat down on the couch next to Louis still holding onto her.

"W- we have to go back and tell them they made a mistake." Harry finally looked up at Louis with red rimmed eyes.

"You do believe me she's yours? Harry I swear I never slept with anybody else." Louis pleaded smiling when Logan looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

"I believe you and I never doubted she's mine, I was just surprised it came back negative. Monday morning we're gonna go back and demand to know what happened." Harry said then kissed Louis' temple.

"Okay, we should go to bed." Louis got up gathering Logan's blanket and teddy bear.

The three of them ended up sleeping together again when Logan literally cried her eyes out when Harry attempted to put her down in her own bed then continued crying until she was in Louis' bed with the lights off and in between the two of them under the covers with her blanket and Mr. Curls by her side falling asleep once she was sure she was going to stay there for good. She had kicked all night and gotten up two times to drink water then to the bathroom where she made Louis wait outside for her stating that she was a big girl and didn't needed supervision all the while Harry slept like a baby only reaching for her when she stepped on his legs to get back to her spot. The next day after eating lunch Harry headed back to his flat even though he would rather stay with them but he had his own place and it was time for him to go back and organize it a little bit and after kissing both of them telling them he would see them the next day to go shopping he went back to sleeping on his own for the first time in a week.

~*~

"But I want to sleep with you daddy." Logan wailed tightening her grip on Louis' leg to keep him from walking out of her room.

"Logan that's why you have your own bed so you can sleep here on your own." Louis sighed untangling her arms from around his leg.

"I don't like my bed, I want to sleep with you." Logan insisted.

"You say you're a big girl and big girls sleep on their own bed and not with their daddy." Louis picked her up relaxing when she stopped crying but as soon as he set her down on the bed she began crying louder.

"I don't want to." Logan cried hanging from his neck.

"Well I don't care what you want, you're sleeping here and that's it." Louis finally snapped losing his patience.

He untangled her arms from around his neck then wrestled her into the bed and under the covers while she kicked and screamed almost hitting his face missing it by a few inches then stood there watching her cry and rubbing her eyes. He bent down and gave her a goodnight kiss then walked out turning the light off ignoring her calls for him to come back and her fake coughing fits going to his room closing the door after himself then got under the covers curling himself up into a ball missing Harry. He fell asleep feeling bad for yelling at Logan and when he couldn't hear her anymore but it quickly changed when a few hours later he woke up again feeling her small warm body pressed up against his side and as quietly and slow as he could he picked her up and brought her back to her room repeating the process three more times until she was too tired to get up again and finally stayed in her bed. The next morning Louis woke up feeling extremely exhausted blaming it on his night with Logan getting out of bed finding her asleep with Buttercup cuddled up next to her then made his way to the front door shaking his head in disbelief.

"Good morning love. Did I woke you up?" Harry spoke as soon as Louis opened the door wrapping his arms around him giving him a chaste kiss.

"Not really, I woke up a few minutes ago." Louis yawned walking backwards still hugging him resting his head on his chest.

"You look exhausted...c'mon, let's go back to bed." Harry kissed the top of his head picking him up by the back of his thighs making him let out a tiny adorable squeak that had him blushing. "You're so cute." Harry chuckled walking to his room.

"M' not cute." Louis mumbled seeing Logan still asleep when they walked by her bedroom.

"You let the dog sleep with her?" Harry asked stopping by her door frowning when Louis groaned.

"No I did not. Last night she kept wanting to sleep with me and threw a tantrum when I didn't let her then I had to get up four times to take her back to her room when she kept coming back. I don't know when she got up to go get him, I put him in his cage." Louis explained as Harry started walking again getting under the covers as soon as Harry had gently set him down.

"Why can't we just let her sleep with us?" Harry asked taking his shoes and jacket off laying down next to Louis.

"Harry...She has her own bed and room and I don't want the habit to keep growing, I don't want her to be one of those kids that still sleep with their parents."

"Well it's kind of our fault she doesn't want to sleep alone anymore."

"Yeah...next time we go back to our mums she's sleeping by herself in your room." Louis mumbled resting his head on Harry's warm chest.

"And where am I gonna sleep?" Harry smiled.

"Outside." Louis answered trying not to laugh when Harry gasped." You're sleeping with me silly."

"I like that."

"We should try to get some sleep before she wakes up again."

~*~

Harry slowly opened his eyes flinching at the bright light when he felt small fingers poking his back and slowly let go of Louis turning around seeing Logan standing by the bed looking at both of them pouting her lips a bit. He smiled and picked her up kissing her cheek before putting her in between Louis and himself then went back to sleep after she did content with being with them again waking up an hour later to see she was gone and Louis was still asleep. He sat up and frantically searched the blankets then under the bed panicking when he couldn't find her in both bathrooms and her bedroom until he heard noises coming from the kitchen and ran there to find her laying down on her tummy on the floor coloring on her book next to Buttercup who was eating the food she had given him.

Harry's eyes widened when he saw the trail of food going all the way to the big bag in the pantry where Louis kept the dog's food seeing it tilted over and the food spilled all around it and just as he was about to say something he noticed she had drawn all over the kitchen wall with her crayons. Despite of the serious situation he smiled a little seeing she had drawn them in stick figures holding hands and both of them with big curly hair and the dog next to them then figured out maybe he should buy paint to paint over it before Louis was up.

"Harry whe- oh my God, oh my God. Lo-Logan what did you do?" Louis asked looking at the dog then the wall and finally at Logan who was smiling widely.

"Baby was hungry and you didn't wake up so I gave him food." Logan shrugged reaching to put more food in the bowl then pushed the dog forward trying to make him eat more.

"I think that's enough food for him lovebug, if he keeps eating he's gonna get sick." Harry said taking the bowl away from them putting it up in the counter top.

"How many times have I told you not to draw on the walls, that's why I buy you coloring books and paper." Louis scolded her grabbing a clean rag from one of the drawers wetting it to try and get the crayon off huffing in annoyance when it only made it worse.

"But I-" Logan tried to speak getting silenced by Louis.

"No buts Hunter! You know I don't like it when you draw on the walls." Louis yelled making her cry while he scrubbed harder.

"Louis calm down, it's just a wall." Harry crouched down next to her wrapping his left arm around her.

"Don't tell me what to do...this is all your fault." Louis snapped.

"My fault? How is it my fault, was I controlling her hands while she was drawing?" Harry quickly got up leaving Logan staring up at them with wide eyes.

"You let her do whatever she wants, you buy her everything she wants even if she doesn't need it and you're spoiling her." Louis argued.

"I'm not spoiling her Louis and you know I don't let her do whatever she wants."

"Yes you do."

"You know what...just...just stay here, Logan and I are gonna go out and buy paint. C'mon bug." Harry picked her up and walked past Louis to her room to change her out of her pajamas drying her tears with his sleeves.

A few minutes later he heard the front door close noticing Harry had taken her car seat and her coat was gone, he sighed rubbing his hands on his face then began cleaning the mess Logan had made then after he was done he took his time to do the beds. He couldn't help but feel like the worst parent in history for yelling at his little girl when he walked back to the kitchen and studied the drawing of the three of them holding hands, he smiled because she had drawn the family he was now able to give her. Almost an hour later Harry came back holding a small container of paint and a few grocery bags managing to hold Logan at the same time who was also holding what looked like a toy.

"And you got her another toy." Louis said watching as he carefully put her down then her running to the living room where Buttercup was resting.

"It's a toy for the dog. What, can't even buy things for the dog now?" Harry rolled his eyes heading to the kitchen where he put the bags on top of the table and the paint and a bag on the floor by the ruined wall.

"What's in the bags?" Louis followed behind him.

"Food." Harry answered opening the paint lid then began mixing it a bit before he grabbed a brush and began painting over the drawing glad that the wall was white.

"Okay...."

"I'll put it up in a second."

"It's for here? You don't have to buy us groceries, that's my responsibility not yours." Louis said feeling slightly annoyed.

"It's no big deal Louis, I wanted to." Harry sighed finishing what he was doing.

"But you don't have to, you don't have to spend money on us...on her. She's my daughter, my responsibility." Louis insisted watching as Harry stopped what he was doing biting on his bottom lip, his curls fanning the side of his face.

"She's my daughter too Louis...And also my responsibility, she's our responsibility. I- I know I wasn't there for both of you then but I'm here now, you- you don't have to do it alone anymore. I'm here now." Harry slowly got up to wash the paint off of the brush. "I'm gonna go, I'll see you both tomorrow. I love you." Harry said pressing a quick kiss to Louis' temple then left after hugging and kissing Logan who nodded when he told her to be good.

Louis stood by the table doing nothing wondering why the hell had he said that then slowly started putting the groceries away smiling a little when he came across the mango pineapple juice he liked and the same Apple juice boxes he had been drinking on their way back from Hawaii assuming they were for Logan. When he was done putting them away he started making pancakes for breakfast wanting to call Harry but was too ashamed to even speak to him. He walked back to the living room where Logan was still playing with the dog pulling on the toy while he pulled back with his teeth.

"Logan..." Louis mumbled catching her attention. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I didn't mean to baby." Louis crouched down next to her lifting her up into his lap sitting down on the floor.

"You love me still?" Logan asked breaking Louis' heart a little.

"Of course I do, I love you so much baby. I'm just a bit tired and you know we don't draw on the walls sweetheart." Louis kissed her forehead and left cheek hugging her close to his chest.

"Daddy curly said you love me and you're tired. I'm sorry daddy." She mumbled.

"It's okay but next time just use paper love so that way daddy and I can put them up in the fridge, let's go eat breakfast. Are you hungry yet?" Louis got up with her in his arms making his way to the kitchen.

"Yes...but daddy left."

"We'll call him later but now let's eat before they get cold." Louis smiled sitting next to her.

*~*

Louis tried not to fall asleep as he folded the now clean clothes after he had washed the ever growing pile of dirty laundry remembering when he used to wash, dry then fold Logan's tiny onesies then grabbing her clothes he quietly walked into her room where she was taking a nap next to Buttercup, Mr. Curls and covered with her newly washed blanket. After he was done putting her clothes back in her closet he picked up the pile of drawings and crayons from the floor wondering why she liked to draw laying down on it if she had a perfectly nice and comfortable desk getting interrupted by his phone ringing loudly back in his room.

"Harry?" Louis answered after running to get it to keep it from waking Logan up and because he missed him.

"Hey, is it okay if I come over?" Harry asked.

"Yeah! You don't have to ask, just come over." Louis smiled noticing it was already two thirty.

"Okay, I'll be there in a few minutes...I'm close by. I love you." Harry said.

"Love you too." Louis continued smiling.

A few minutes later after hanging up Louis ran to get the door seeing Harry standing in front of him smiling shyly then catched Louis in his arms who kissed his neck then began murmuring I'm sorry's against it getting picked up by Harry walking to the living room. He sat down on the couch with Louis straddling him and kissed him running his hands up and down his back feeling Louis wrapping his arms around his neck to bring him closer to him.

"I didn't mean it." Louis said as soon as Harry moved down to his neck leaving tiny kisses all over it.

"Don't worry about it." Harry looked back at him smiling when Louis rested his head on his left shoulder.

"I still shouldn't have said those things, she's your daughter too and I get that you want to provide for her. I just got used to not accepting financial help from anybody wanting to support her myself." Louis explained.

"It's okay love, I get it...but...I'm here now and you don't have to do it alone anymore." Harry kissed the back of his head.

"Okay." Louis lifted his head to look at him. "What have you been up to Mr. Styles?"

"I was at the studio working." Harry said grabbing Louis' hand to play with his fingers.

"Was Drew there?" Louis asked feeling insecure.

"Nah, it was just me. I was, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and watch a movie with me. We can ask Liam or Eleanor to babysit Logan." Harry suggested hoping for a yes.

"I would love to." Louis smiled.

Louis stayed on Harry's lap watching a random show until Logan walked in holding the usual items and dragging the blanket behind her making Louis pull a sour look because he had just washed it noticing her frowning when she noticed him on Harry's lap then ran to them lifting her hands up to Harry who picked her up and set her down next to Louis. Three hours before her bedtime both Harry and Louis waited for Eleanor to get there so they could go watch the movie after she had agreed to watch her telling them to take as long as they wanted because she wanted to spend time with her. She arrived twenty minutes later immediately kicking them out while holding Logan closing the door as soon as they had stepped outside.

"Let's have some tea pretty...but with apple juice." Eleanor smiled while Logan loudly cheered getting down to go get her tea party set.

"Apple juice tea!" Logan jumped up and down taking them out.

"...And Liam's so handsome and so strong and I really like him but I don't think he likes me back." Eleanor sighed just as tea time was coming to an end then looked up at Logan who was watching her with a blank expression before she let out a giggle.

"I like uncle Leeyum too." Logan nodded drinking the last of her juice.

"Of course you do pretty." Eleanor smiled lovingly rubbing her cheek with her thumb.

*~*

The door to Harry's flat was slammed open as Harry walked in holding Louis up by his bum with one hand and closing the door with the other never breaking the urgent and heated kiss that had started halfway through the movie, stopped when the movie was over and had continued in the elevator. He gently set Louis down on his bed slowing down noticing Louis looking exhausted from the night before, he pressed his lips to Louis' one more time before he grabbed the corner of the duvet pulling it over him trying to get up.

"Where are you going?" Louis asked pulling him down again on top of him.

"I'm gonna go get Logan, go to sleep and I'll be right back." Harry mumbled.

"You can go get her later...right now make love to me." Louis said smiling when Harry took his shirt off as fast as he could going for his pants stopping when Louis slapped his hands away to take them off himself.

"Can I undress you?" Harry asked wanting to do it already but instead waited for his approval.

He began unbuttoning his shirt as soon as he nodded lifting him up to take it off then reached down to unbutton his jeans taking them off along with his boxers throwing them somewhere in the room along with his own leaving them completely naked and already aroused. Louis watched as Harry moved around in the almost dark bedroom coming back with lube and a condom setting them down to the side for later then accommodated himself in between Louis' legs leaning down to kiss him holding himself up by his arms. He could feel Harry's lips kissing his jaw line then down to his collarbones and stomach before he lifted one of his hands and lovingly kissed his knuckles making Louis' heart beat a little faster.

"You're so perfect'" Harry whispered before he kissed him again.

"I love you." Louis mumbled in between kisses tangling his fingers through Harry's hair feeling how soft his curls were.

"Love you more." Harry pulled back grabbing the lube while Louis tried not to touch himself gasping when Harry wrapped his hand around both of their aching members and began pumping them allowing Louis some sort of relief.

Using the other hand Harry uncapped the small bottle letting go of Louis and himself and coated his fingers bringing them down to Louis' entrance circling around it then pushed a finger in feeling Louis clenching around it. He continued opening him up while nipping on his ear lobe making him hiss as Harry then moved trailing down to his chest leaving small red marks happy that he was the one who had the privilege of leaving them there.

"Harry..." Louis whined. "I'm ready."

"You sure?" Harry asked still moving around the three fingers he had inside of Louis.

He grabbed the condom opening then rolling it in as fast as he could and once he was lubed up with more than necessary he brought Louis' legs up to his shoulders and slowly entered him stopping a few times whenever Louis would show any signs of pain. He stayed still once he was all the way in looking into Louis' eyes bringing his hand up to caress his cheek smiling before he kissed him slow and sweet intertwining his fingers with his feeling like his heart could burst at any moment and feeling like the luckiest man for still having Louis' love despite of everything. Once Louis gave him the okay to move he wrapped an arm around his lower back making him arch it and began moving in and out at a slow pace hiding his face on the crook of Louis' neck feeling his arms tightening around him and the pad of his thumbs rubbing small circles on the skin.

Louis could feel every inch of Harry's sweaty body pressed flush against his own, he could feel the sweat on Harry's hair as he ran his fingers through it and every soft and careful push slowly brushing dead onto his spot making him let out small noises throwing his head back into the mattress while Harry tried not to be loud feeling the tight heat around him. Harry lifted his head up just as Louis wrapped his legs around his waist and his arms around his back letting them run all the way down to his lower back and up to his shoulder blades again and again, he didn't bother opening his eyes when he felt Harry move away a little feeling his lips on his own a little after and later after what felt like forever he felt him going still then spilling into the condom. Harry wrapped a hand around Louis' erection stroking back and forth twisting his wrist a little and moving inside of him until he felt his warm come on his hand and Louis digging his nails onto the skin on his back before he went limp underneath him.

"You okay love?" Harry asked kissing his sweaty forehead letting his lips linger a little before her moved back to look at a sleepy Louis.

"Yeah...m' just tired." Louis gave him a lazy smile wincing a little when Harry slowly pulled out.

"Want me to go get Logan or drive you there?" Harry asked getting rid of the condom walking to the bathroom to get a warm wet towel.

"Drive me there and stay the night with us." Louis mumbled as soon as Harry was back and cleaning him up.

"Let me just grab a bag." Harry smiled putting his clothes back on looking at Louis with love filled eyes pulling at the edge of the duvet bringing it over him to cover himself up.

Once he was dressed and had his bag ready he walked up to Louis to try and wake him up then began dressing him up himself when Louis didn't even batted an eyelash. He was just about ready to pick him up when Louis woke up looking around with a confused look until he noticed Harry standing next to him and got up grabbing his hand pulling him towards the front door leaning against him while in the elevator. When they got back Eleanor was sitting on the couch watching tv turning her head around to look at them smiling when they made eye contact.

"Did you guys have fun?" She asked.

"Yeah, movie was great. Did you have fun, was she good?" Louis asked walking to sit on the couch pulling Harry with him.

"Yeah we did. We had tea then watched a movie. I gave her a bath...well she insisted on doing it herself so I just supervised then she went to bed." Eleanor smiled grabbing her bag.

"She doesn't wanna hold hands and now she's gonna start taking baths without my help." Louis sighed.

"She's growing up, had to happen Lou." Eleanor gave him a tiny smile wishing for her to stay little but knowing it was impossible.

"I'm gonna go guys."

"Do you need a ride?" Harry asked.

"No thank you, I have my car." She said.

"Let me at least walk you to your car." Harry got up taking no for an answer then left with her after she hugged Louis and he thanked her a million times.

While Harry was gone Louis checked on Logan pulling the covers tightly around her then kissed her on the forehead walking back to his bedroom to take a shower leaving the bathroom door open and a few minutes later he could hear Harry coming back inside. After he was done he put on a pair of fleece pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt then headed to bed just as Harry walked in giving him a quick kiss before going to the bathroom to shower. Louis was already half asleep when Harry came back and as soon as Harry was next to him he snuggled up close to him immediately falling asleep.

~*~

"Lou you have to wake up. It's almost ten and we have to go back to that clinic." Harry slowly shook Louis trying to wake him up.

"Ten? Where's Logan?" Louis mumbled trying to open his eyes.

"She's in the living room playing with Buttercup, she already had breakfast." Harry ran his hands through Louis' hair pulling it out of his forehead then kissed his temple.

"I'm so tired Haz, I don't want to get up." Louis mumbled.

"We can wait until later if you want." Harry said furrowing his eyebrows noticing how exhausted he looked.

"No...just give me a few minutes and I'll get up." Louis yawned.

"Alright love, breakfast's on the table and I'm gonna go get her ready." Harry said getting up walking out of the room.

Thirty minutes later Louis was ready and on his way to the clinic to try and figure out what the hell had gone wrong hoping for it to be a mistake and that no one had tampered with them. They parked outside the clinic close to the main doors and headed straight to the office where they had picked up the results seeing the same receptionist as the last time.

"Hello, how may I help you?" She asked giving them a genuine smile but Louis was having none of it.

"We requested your services last Friday and got the results back that same day and you made a mistake. They're wrong and in fact it's impossible for them to be negative." Louis pulled out the envelope giving it to her.

"That's impossible Mr.?"

"Tomlinson."

"That's impossible Mr. Tomlinson, we never make mistakes." She spoke grabbing the envelope verifying the logo in it.

"Well you did. He is my daughter's father, it's impossible for her not to be his. They're wrong." Louis argued watching her as she opened it taking the results out.

"We never make mistakes Mr. Tomlinson...maybe you're the one who's wrong." She said pissing Louis off.

"Excuse me? Are you implying that I lied to him and she's not his? Look at them and tell me she's not his, you're the idiots who can't do their job right." Louis yelled getting rather aggravated.

"I can assure you we never and had never made mistakes, Mr. Grimshaw is one of our best DNA analysts. We've never had a problem with him."

"Mr.-Mr. Grimshaw? You mean Nick Grimshaw?" Harry asked holding Logan tighter.

"Yes, Nick Grimshaw. He's the one who compared samples and personally gave me the sealed envelope to give to you." She informed them reading over the results. "Wait a minute...are you sure these are the results that were inside the sealed envelope when you opened it?"

"Yes they are." Louis answered.

"I'm sorry but these results are fake." She said giving it back to Louis.

"What do you mean they're fake?" Harry asked getting angrier by the minute.

"Mr. Grimshaw's signature isn't there when it's supposed to be verifying that the interpretation of the results is correct and they're set out in tables showing the strands that match and those that are unique comparing the child's DNA to the alleged father's. You are sure he is the father then that means Mr. Grimshaw tampered with the results. I'll- I'll call him over." She said nervously picking up the phone while both Louis and Harry were fuming.

"I can't believe he would do that." Harry nearly growled then handed Logan to Louis as soon as he saw Nick coming out of the lab, his face going from smiling to a one of panic. "You worthless piece of shit!" Harry pushed him against the wall.

"What the hell Harry!" Nick pushed him off of him.

"Why would you do that to me, why would you change the results when you know she's mine. You're nothing but a piece of shit." Harry glared just as two security guards rushed in.

"I didn't do anything and if they're negative it's because she's not yours and he lied, he was probably sleeping around with other guys too." Nick spat getting punched by Harry while Louis tried to keep Logan from watching.

"You son of a bitch! What you did was illegal and I could sue you, I could sue the damn clinic." Harry yelled getting held back by one of the security guards.

"Nick just tell the truth." The receptionist pleaded just as an older man walked in already knowing what was going on identifying himself as Dr. Jones.

"I didn't do anything." Nick insisted.

"Nick tell the truth. You're already fired anyway and if you don't come clean and admit it your license will be revoked." He threatened.

"It's...It's true." Nick admitted looking down.

"Why?" Louis asked.

"You don't deserve him, I do!" Nick frantically said.

"Get him out of here." Dr. Jones ordered then turned to look at Harry and Louis. "I would like to apologize, we're trying to find the correct legal results that would be given to you as soon as we find them and if you want to press charges that's up to you. I wouldn't blame you." He said.

"We just want the right results and I want him far away from us." Louis said looking at the door where Nick had been standing.

They had been waiting for at least twenty minutes before Dr. Jones came back holding a sealed envelope giving it to Harry then left them alone after he apologized once again. Harry shakily opened the envelope taking out the legal document seeing Nick's signature at the bottom right hand corner and a table comparing his and Logan's DNA. His eyes began watering as he silently read the interpretation then looked back at Louis and their daughter.

"What does it say?" Louis asked.

"What I already knew and never doubted. Probability of parentage is 99.9999%. She's mine, I already knew it but after all I went through when Liam read those other results it feels great to have this." Harry smiled bringing them into a hug. "You're mine lovebug....both of you."

"Always." Louis smiled.

"Let's go and celebrate."

Louis pulled back putting Logan down grabbing her hand while Harry grabbed the other and together walked out of the clinic with the biggest smiles anyone had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> If you guessed Nick had something to do with it then kudos to you. I would like to apologize again for not updating sooner. Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments. I hope you enjoyed the awfully late chapter. :)
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> Thoughts? :)


	25. Darling just swear you'll stay right by my side*

The day was warm enough and perfect for the picnic at the park Harry had managed to organize as fast as he could since Louis had begged for sandwiches, his and Logan's favorite juice as well as cherry pie from a bakery he really liked. He had brought a picnic blanket setting it down on the grass under the shadow of a large tree enjoying their food and after they were done eating both Louis and Harry sat next to each other leaning against the tree watching Logan play with Buttercup. While they watched her Louis could feel his eyelids getting heavier and heavier as he fought to keep his eyes open until he decided to close them just for a little bit jumping up awake a few minutes later when Harry shook him telling him it was time to go unable to hide the worry in his eyes.

"Lou, are you sick?" Harry asked as they walked back to the car.

"No...why?" Louis asked holding Logan's hand tighter and Harry's with the other.

"You look exhausted...maybe we should go to the doctor and make sure everything's alright." Harry suggested while unlocking the car.

"I'm fine Harry, I just need to catch up on my sleep. Logan kept me up really late and I'm used to going to bed early." Louis shrugged it off ruling it as a lack of sleep.

"You'll tell me if something was wrong right?" Harry chewed on his bottom lip looking like a small frightened child.

"Of course I would," Louis smiled getting up on his tippy toes to kiss him. "And how about we go back home, watch a few movies then go to bed early."

"That would be the perfect afternoon." Harry smiled kissing him again.

That night Louis fell asleep halfway through Tangled with Logan following a few minutes later leaving Harry to take them back to bed and after making sure the front door was locked, all the lights were off and Buttercup was by Logan's feet he went to bed spooning Louis and wrapping his arms around him letting one of his hands rest on his bare stomach underneath his shirt.

The following two weeks went by rather smoothly except when they had told their friends what Nick had done in attempts of breaking them up ending with both of them getting yelled at by Zayn for letting him get away with what he had done and Eleanor wanting to go out to find him and slap the bejesus out of him and after Liam and Niall agreed with them they ended up getting a restriction order against Nick. Both Louis and Harry had gone back to work full time leaving Logan with Anna, Louis would get home at around two getting two extra hours of sleep by taking naps with Logan and by the time Harry was back from work exactly at five he would be somehow well rested and just waiting for him so they could cook dinner together or go out to eat with their friends. Zayn had begun warming up to Harry even though he was still wary of him and Louis was happy that they were getting along, sadly he couldn't help Eleanor with Liam since she refused any kind of help wanting to do it on her own and Liam was clueless.

As far as Louis knew he was able to hide how tired he felt all the time blaming it on their increased sex drive sometimes going at it twice a night which usually happened three nights per week when Harry would spend the night always going slow and passionate making sure to lock the door every time not wanting to scar Logan for life. It continued being that way until Louis started going to bed by the time Logan did not waking up until eight the next morning. Eleanor had scared him when she reminded him that the same thing had happened four years earlier and he had ended up with a baby six months later freaking him out even more just hoping for it to not be it. He managed to keep it to himself for a week until Friday night during dinner when he felt like he was going to explode if he didn't say something ignoring that small fear of Harry not taking in the news very well and taking a deep breath he decided it was time.

"Harry?" Louis looked at Harry who was chewing the spaghetti they had prepared then at Logan trying to wrap it around her fork not paying them any attention.

"Hmm?" Harry hummed drinking the strawberry juice after swallowing his food.

"I- I think I might be pregnant." Louis blurted out quickly getting up to help Harry when he spit out the juice making Logan giggle then began coughing trying to breathe.

"B- But how?" Harry asked wiping his mouth with a napkin then the table with a new one.

"I can't exactly explain how right now." Louis looked at Logan then back at Harry. "I'm pretty sure you know how people get pregnant."

"I know how but you took those pills and we're always careful, have been ever since. I mean...are you sure?" Harry frantically asked watching Louis going back to his seat in front of him.

"I don't know for sure yet, it's just...when I was pregnant with Logan the first few weeks I was always tired and Eleanor thinks I might be." Louis explained moving his food around on his plate.

"What are you gonna do if you are?" Harry asked trying not to panic.

"What are we gonna do." Louis corrected. "If I am it's yours too since you're the one who's been shoving it up there."

"I know that. It's just that I think it's too soon to have another baby and we're not ready." Harry said getting Logan's attention when she heard the word baby quickly losing interest.

"I wasn't ready for her and there she is. Life doesn't care if you're ready Harry and if I am pregnant again then this baby is half your responsibility, I can't just get rid of it and I'm not going to." Louis pushed his plate away staring at Harry.

"I would never ask you to do that, I'm just scared okay. I don't know a thing about babies and I feel like I'm going to fu- mess up and the baby's gonna hate me then you're gonna hate me too." Harry looked down taking a deep breath then looked back at Louis. "If you are how far along do you think you are, can you get symptoms this early?"

"We've been careful so I think it was that first time and those pills didn't worked so I'm guessing about three weeks. You know what, let's just go buy a pregnancy test after dinner." Louis continued eating like nothing was wrong while Harry was freaking out on the inside jumping up a bit when Logan accidentally kicked his knee from under the table.

*~*

After going to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test that Harry had made sure was one of the best by taking forever trying to find the right one while Logan begged for a lollipop that Louis ended up letting her have to get her to stop pulling on his shirt they headed back home in complete silence. Harry was now standing in front of the locked bathroom door waiting for Louis to let him in after he had kicked him out telling him that he couldn't pee with him there watching him like a hawk. A few seconds later Louis unlocked the door blocking Harry with his body from entering the bathroom when he tried to run to where the test was.

"What does it say? Are you pregnant? Are we gonna have another baby?" Harry fired question after question.

"We have to wait a few minutes." Louis said moving to sit on the edge of the bathtub with Harry following after him.

When the time was up Harry stayed frozen on his spot while Louis walked to the counter and slowly picked up the test looking at it. He stayed silent for a few seconds not really knowing how to feel with the result already knowing how Harry would feel. He didn't know how to feel at all and that scared him.

"Lou?" Harry waved his arms around trying to catch his attention worrying about Louis' blank expression.

"It's negative, you can relax." Louis sighed throwing the test away turning back to wash his hands.

"Then we have to go to the doctor, what if you're sick." Harry got up walking behind Louis wrapping his arms around him.

"Maybe we should actually go to sleep when we go to bed. We always end up falling asleep at two in the morning." Louis leaned his head against Harry's chest.

"Yeah. Hey...what's wrong love?"Harry asked noticing how quiet Louis had gone.

"You freaked out when I told you I could be pregnant." Louis frowned then looked down. "You don't want to have more kids with me?" He asked chewing on his bottom lip terrified of the answer being no.

"I do want to have more kids with you, I want to have a million more but not right now. We've only being together for three weeks and I just want us to be more steady and I want to spend as much time together just the three of us. I want to make up for those years I missed with you and Logan." Harry explained giving Louis a small kiss on the temple and cheek.

"Three more weeks and we'll have her new birth certificate, I'm glad we changed it before she starts school and learns how to spell her name." Louis smiled turning around to hug Harry.

"She's gonna hate us when she learns it and has to write it down." Harry chuckled.

"Yeah. It's almost eight, I'm gonna go give her a bath." Louis mumbled pulling away from Harry.

"I'll get the rest ready." Harry smiled heading to her room while Louis walked to the living room where she was.

"Guess no bath for her today. She's out." Louis walked in with her carefully putting her down on the bed kissing her forehead.

*~*

The next three weeks were a blur for everybody busy with work. Both Louis and Harry had reduced their sexual activities to only once or twice a week only once resulting in Louis getting more sleep leaving the exhaustion behind as he felt better than ever and couldn't be any happier. He didn't know that what he had actually felt when he saw the negative test was disappointment until he walked by the newborn section on his way with Logan to buy her new clothes and had stopped in front of it looking at the tiny blue onesies and tiny shoes. He never mentioned it to Harry knowing he didn't wanted a baby at the moment and part of him agreed with him but the other just yearned for another one where Harry would be there with him and where he would actually enjoy his pregnancy and not cry all the time hating every moment of it when he was reminded of how he had gotten pregnant and by who yet he couldn't wait to hold and meet the tiny human being growing inside of him. That night Harry had gone home for the night and after singing a lullaby to Logan he went to bed and cried himself to sleep not really knowing why he was crying in the first place.

The day they obtained Logan's new birth certificate both of their families visited from Doncaster and together with their friends celebrated that she was now a Styles and was legally Harry's daughter by going to her favorite place which was the zoo inviting Brian, David and Alex as well. After everyone had gone home and only their families had stayed Anne finally informed them Adam had pleaded guilty and had been sentenced to eight years in prison with no parole after Gemma had presented photographic evidence of his abuse thus not bothering Harry to testify since the proof was there. Adam had also admitted to beating both of them and cutting and burning his son with cigarette butts while his daughter would be locked down in the basement screaming at him to stop almost going crazy from hearing her brother's blood curling screams when he would pass out and Adam would always avoid hitting his face.

Harry had spent the night with Louis looking at the picture on Louis' bedside table with the three of them on Logan's birthday party until Louis turned off the lights and held him when Harry cried himself to sleep soaking Louis' stomach while he tried to be strong for him holding back his own tears. The next morning Harry woke up as if nothing had happened and after he made breakfast he left for work giving Louis and Logan a kiss promising to be back before three to go shopping for Logan's karate lessons happy that it was already Friday and her classes would begin the following Monday after getting pushed back to be able to renovate the academy to make it safer.

*~*

"I thought we were only going to buy the stuff she needed. Louis we're hungry." Harry whined bending down to pick Logan up after she refused to keep walking dragging her feet on the floor whenever he would walk.

"Yeah but she needs new shoes so why not shop for them now that we're here." Louis said as he looked through the shoes picking up a pair of red converse quickly putting them back down before he picked up a pair of black vans.

"She has plenty of them...last night I found a dusty pair under the couch when I was looking for my ring." Harry said giving Logan a piece of gum.

"Most of them don't fit anymore and others are too worn out Harry. Do you want your daughter to get blisters on her feet or be walking around in shoes that are falling apart by the minute? I don't think so." Louis looked at Harry raising an eyebrow making him put his free hand up in defeat.

"Daddies I'm hungry." Logan whined looking around before she set her head down on Harry's shoulder dramatically sighing when Louis told her to wait.

Almost an hour later Louis decided he had had enough and left the store with three new pairs of vans and two pairs of sandals for the warm weather heading out to one of the restaurants in the shopping centre. They ended up in panda express when Louis wouldn't stop craving the orange chicken and after they were done eating and Harry was in the bathroom, Louis stayed behind tickling Logan and nearly kissing her face off then they finally left heading back home.  
~*~

"Daddy I don't like it." Logan said through a mouthful of jelly beans getting ready to spit them out just as Louis reached over from the front seat of the car putting his hand by her chin.

"Do you have a napkin?" Louis asked Harry holding his palm up full of chewed up jelly beans.

"I have tissues." Harry glanced at his hand passing the whole box trying to focus back on the road already used to to her always spitting things back out when she ended up not liking them also noticing Louis fidgeting on his seat after cleaning his hand off.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." Louis said dropping the bags by the door running straight to his bathroom leaving a confused Harry behind with Logan.

"I want to watch a movie." Logan looked up at Harry pouting her bottom lip.

"Sure. Which one?" Harry asked getting up to play whatever she wanted.

"This one." Logan picked up Wreck it Ralph giving it to Harry then ran back to the couch snuggling with her blanket and teddy bear.

Harry sat down next to her completely focusing on the movie wrapping his arms around her after she crawled on his lap leaning against his chest playing with his fingers. Almost fifteen minutes later Louis was still in the bathroom when Harry began getting worried and slowly lifted Logan up putting her back down on the couch getting up to go see if he was okay telling her to stay put while he checked on daddy leaving after she barely nodded laying down on her side petting Buttercup who was on the floor next to her. He walked into his bedroom getting ready to knock on the bathroom door and ask him if he was okay when he heard a muffled moan coming from Louis, he thought about turning around and going back when he heard him saying his name over and over again.

"Lou...You okay?" Harry knocked on the door hearing him shuffling around.

"Y- yeah, I'm perfect." Louis quickly said.

"Okay then, I'm gonna go back and watch the movie with Logan." Harry said backing away from the door.

"She's in the living room?" Louis asked.

"Yeah, I'll-"

Harry didn't get to finish the sentence when Louis opened the door and pulled him inside closing and locking the door again, he was pushed against the wall feeling Louis' hot breath mingling with his own as Louis attacked his lips trying to unzip his pants at the same time. Harry pulled Louis closer by the back of his neck reaching down to take his pants off finding out they were already halfway down Louis' bum as well as hard, he lifted the elastic of his boxers shoving his hand inside wrapping it around his length already leaking precum using it as lubricant running his thumb over the slit feeling himself getting harder by the minute.

Louis whined when Harry pulled his hand back out managing to hold onto his broad shoulders just in time when Harry pulled his pants down and lifted him up into the counter while Louis kicked his pants off of around his ankles hissing at the cold granite underneath his bum. They continued kissing almost desperately while Harry slowly stroked Louis trying to stay quiet when Louis wrapped his hand around him using his other hand to pull his pants down enough to free his erection pumping faster as Harry did the same until Louis just needed to feel him deep inside of him.

"I- I need you inside me. Now, hurry." Louis slightly pushed him away to open one of the drawers taking a condom and another bottle of lube out almost throwing them at Harry who managed to catch them.

Louis quickly jumped off of the counter and turned around facing the mirror waiting for Harry to bend him over the counter just like he wanted then turned his head around when nothing happened seeing Harry pouring lube on his fingers to open him up.

"Harry just...I already opened myself up, just fuck me." Louis whined bending over the counter letting Harry see all of him.

"You were fingering yourself?" Harry asked feeling his cock twitching. "And it's called making love not fucking."

"Yeah yeah." Louis urged him.

Harry pressed the tip against Louis' hole seeing how he tried to form the words but couldn't say anything when he kept opening and closing his mouth settling with nodding and closing his eyes tightly. Harry placed his hand over Louis' mouth just as he was about to let out a loud moan feeling Harry dragging his length up and down his crack until he felt it slowly entering him and stretching him open finding himself pushing backwards managing to get it all deep inside of him gasping and loving the feeling of being full. He pulled out and slowly pushed back in setting a rhythm kneading the skin of Louis' bum before he let his hands run from his hips up to his sides leaning down to kiss and suck on the back of his neck almost coming right there and then when Louis lifted his head up facing the mirror where Harry could see his face.

He could see his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, eyes tightly closed and teeth biting on his bottom lip trying not to make much noise holding onto the edge of the sink to keep himself from bouncing back and forth too much when he thrusted in and out faster. He began slamming into him hearing the sound of skin slapping against skin as soon as Louis had asked him to go faster making him want to scream whenever Harry would hit his spot then was surprised when he grabbed both of his hands intertwining their fingers together resting his palms on the counter on either side of his head.

Louis still had his eyes closed when he felt Harry's torso on top of him then his warm lips kissing the back of his ear and neck loving the way his hot breath felt against his skin all the while he pushed back every time Harry pushed in getting closer and closer. Harry stopped moving making Louis whine feeling so close yet so far away then gasped when Harry began moving his hips in eight figures deep inside of him pressing on his spot until Louis arched his back moaning his name coming all over the cabinet with Harry following coming together. They stayed in the same position for a few seconds trying to catch their breath until Louis lazily lifted his head up to look at Harry smiling when he kissed him then slowly pulled out of him tying and throwing the used condom away wrapped in toilet paper.

"I thought you were sick or something." Harry mumbled picking Louis up to turn him around and clean him up.

"I was horny, really really horny." Louis shrugged watching Harry clean him up then the brown cabinet.

"I know....quite horny." Harry chuckled brushing Louis' hair out of his forehead.

"Shut up, you love it when I'm horny." Louis pouted.

"I do. We should change shirts and go back to watch that movie with Logan." Harry suggested picking his lips then walked to the closet taking two shirts out that belonged to him and had ended up in Louis' closet.

"Daddies, where are you?" Logan's voice came from the other side of the door trying to open it.

"We're here, wait a minute." Louis said putting his pants back on.

They quickly put on their shirts, fixed their hair and washed their hands when she began jiggling the door knob and banging on the door to open it yelling at them to hurry up because she had to potty and couldn't hold it in any longer because she was still little. They opened the door seeing her sitting on the floor with Buttercup on her lap wrapped in her blanket with only his face peeking out licking her chin making her giggle while Louis groaned knowing he was gonna have to wash it again and he was sure it would involve a crying fit with her refusing to let go of it.

"Did you had to potty too daddy?" Logan asked looking up at Harry with wide curious eyes.

"No, daddy Lou needed help...we were counting how many Q-tips we have left." Harry said trying to fix his hair again.

"We need more?" She continued asking.

"No, we have plenty. Don't you have to potty?" Louis asked picking her up after she lifted her arms up at him.

"It went bye bye." Logan shrugged resting her head on his shoulder facing his neck. "You have a booboo." She poked the back of his neck making him flinch while Harry tried not to laugh.

"It's okay babycakes, it doesn't hurt." Louis kissed her cheek narrowing his eyes at Harry then walked out of the room yelping a little when Harry smacked his ass acting like he didn't do anything when Logan quickly turned to see where the sound had come from.

Since the movie wasn't over yet they sat down on the couch to watch it together until Logan lost interest and instead littered the coffee table with her plastic blocks building strange figures then after she was satisfied with her work she would knock them over and start all over again. She kept doing it until her gaze focused on the corner of the living room where she kept the rest of her toys then let out a giggle getting up and plopping down in front of the toy chest taking out most of them while Louis and Harry kept watching the movie looking over to her once in a while.

"No that's my daddy's, you can't play with it." Logan pouted grabbing Kelly hiding her under the rug making Louis and Harry look at her with curious eyes.

"They're my daddies not yours." Logan continued.

"Logan who are you talking to?" Louis asked getting ready to get up getting frightened.

"Emily." Logan said after a pause. "No they're not your daddies, I don't want them to be your daddies. They're mine!" Logan whined starting to get upset.

"Hey bug why don't we go give you a bath then we can go to bed." Harry got up walking towards her then picked her up to give her a bath stopping when she began crying for Louis when he moved to pick up the toys not stopping until Louis walked back towards them.

After she was clean and comfortable Louis took her back to his room not wanting her to be alone setting her down in the middle of the bed then waited until Harry was done showering so he could take one. When he was done he walked out of the bathroom seeing Harry observing her with careful eyes as she giggled answering yes or no to whoever she was talking to until she began getting drowsy falling asleep by Harry's legs sucking on her thumb like usual.

"Who do you think Emily is?" Louis asked after they were all settled in bed with the light off and Logan was on his chest sleeping soundly.

"Probably an imaginary friend, all kids have one at some point." Harry answered nuzzling his face on Louis' neck.

"I don't want her talking to that imaginary friend if it's gonna upset her." Louis decided brushing his fingers through Logan's damp curls.

"Apparently 'Emily' wanted us to be her daddies too and you know how possessive she is. She's fine now, they're bff's again and she'll get over the imaginary friend phase soon enough. Now we sleep, love you Lou." Harry pulled them closer to him.

"Love you too cupcake." Louis mumbled.

By Monday afternoon before her first lesson Logan was still talking to Emily scaring the hell out of Zayn during the weekend when he thought she was going crazy when she kept talking to herself until Louis explained that it was okay since they had never heard her talking diabolically or had made her do bad stuff because her friend had told her so.

Louis smiled watching Harry taking millions of pictures of Logan wearing her brand new white uniform, her light white shoes and white belt as she jumped up and down with excitement telling Harry to send pictures to Nana, Ninna, papa, poppy and all her aunties and uncles.

They were excited to see their little girl learning something new already having figured out their schedule since she had forty five minute classes every Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays starting at three pm. Louis would stay Mondays and Harry Fridays then on Wednesdays Harry would stay half time then Louis the other taking her back home.

Once they were seated in the parent area next to Brian and David that turns out had decided to have Alex getting involved in karate as well Harry had gotten permission from Mrs. Johnson to take pictures of Logan capturing every moment. He also began taking individual pictures of Alex then both kids together after asking his parents if it was okay promising they would have pictures of their son. As soon as classes were over both sweaty kids ran up to their parents holding hands as excited as they had been when they had first arrived and after planning they decided to take them out to eat to planet Hollywood.

"Daddy it's Hulk!" Alex exclaimed pulling on Brian's shirt with one hand and pointing at the giant screen with the other.

"It is, look it's Iron Man." Brian smiled widely also pointing at the screen.

"Papa look it's Iron Man, daddy's favorite." Alex turned to David shoving a pickle into his mouth.

"That's daddy's favorite?" David fake gasped.

"Yes." Alex nodded giggling a little.

"I thought his favorite was Hawkeye." David faked surprise reaching to kiss his son's forehead when Alex shook his head telling him it was Iron Man and his was Hawkeye.

"He really loves them." Brian chuckled looking at both Louis and Harry while Logan was on Louis' lap eating her fries.

"Captain America is my favorite, she loves Toy Story. Don't you lovebug?" Harry smiled kissing her temple.

"I like Jesse and daddy Lou likes Woody." Logan nodded.

"I think she's seen them more times than I did when I was a kid." Louis chuckled wrapping his arms around her tummy hugging her closer.

"I dressed up as Woody when I was six and didn't take it off for three days straight." David confessed making them laugh.

"I've seen the pictures." Brian laughed.

"Hey! I looked cute." David lightly smacked him on the shoulder.

"Alex kinda resembles you." Brian said.

"Yeah he does. Logan looks so much like you Harry and she looks like Louis a little too. Perfect combination." David smiled.

"She does...got the crazy curls." Louis nodded smiling down at Logan running his fingers through her hair while David and Brian smiled at each other noticing the way Harry looked at them as if they were his blue skies.

~*~

"That was fun." Louis sighed as soon as they stepped inside Louis' flat.

"We should go out with them more often. Did you noticed how they look at each other? It's like they have this deep connection and they're just so in love." Harry smiled sitting down on the couch next to Louis while Logan rolled around on the floor with Buttercup.

"Yeah...You do love me right?" Louis asked looking up at Harry who was already looking at him with love and adoration in his eyes.

"I love you so so much, more than my own life Lou. I would do anything for you and our daughter, I would die if it means both of you will stay safe and happy." Harry wrapped his arms around Louis kissing the top of his head letting his lips stay there.

"I love you too, we love you so much. You have to promise me you'll always be here with us and you're never going to leave us." Louis said almost desperate feeling a knot forming in his throat at the thought of Harry leaving them and never coming back.

"I promise you with my life that I'm never going to leave both of you, I'm here to stay and I'm not going anywhere." Harry pressed his left cheek on the top of Louis' head.

"Always and forever?" Louis asked lifting Harry's hand to kiss his knuckles.

"Always and forever." Harry promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_m2apdkAeNr1r6943u_zps102aae4e.gif.html)   
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> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_m2apdkAeNr1r6943u_zps102aae4e.gif
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> Thoughts? :)
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> Gif on below is supposed to be them at the end.


	26. A scar on the horizon, a perfect dim illusory light*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen to the song, you'll know when to play it. :)
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> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4q-0ApFX9I

"So you'll pick her up Friday after her karate lessons and bring her back Sunday night?" Louis asked Zayn holding the phone close to his ear.

It was the Tuesday after her first class when Zayn and Niall called telling them they had Friday off and wanted to take her for the weekend to spend proper time with her like they used to when they still lived together. He had Logan taking a nap on the couch with her head resting on his lap as he ran a hand through her hair watching Harry moving around in the kitchen cooking dinner. He quickly looked down thinking she was already awake when he felt her twitching only to see she was moving around in her sleep probably dreaming since he could see her eyelids fluttering.

"Yeah. So is that a yes?" Zayn urged on the phone wanting an answer.

"I'm okay with it but I have to make sure Harry is too." Louis said flinching when he poked a love bite Harry had given him that morning.

"Since when do you ask for his permission to let her do stuff or let any of us take her out." Zayn grumbled.

"Since he became responsible for her." Louis answered smiling when he locked eyes with Harry.

"Oh really?" Zayn sarcastically asked, "So he's finally financially helping you with all her expenses now?"

"Half and half with everything....actually more than half since he's literally supporting both of us right now cause I haven't touched my money at all." Louis shrugged even though Zayn couldn't see him.

"Damn...he's better than I thought. I have to go but ask him and let me know, send me a text. Bye Lou and kiss Logan for me, love you both." Zayn said.

"I will and we love you too." Louis said before hanging up putting his phone on top of the coffee table.

"Dinner's almost ready. Everything okay?" Harry asked sitting next to Louis.

"Yeah. Zayn and Niall wanna take Logan for the weekend and I wanted to know if it's okay with you." Louis asked.

"You- You wanted to make sure I'm okay with it?" Harry asked flabbergasted.

"I am and I told Zayn I was okay with it but that I had to make sure you're okay too." Louis smiled a little resting his cheek on Harry's shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay with it. They've known her pretty much ever since she was still a fetus so I know she'll be fine and safe with them but you don't have to ask me, if you're okay then I'm okay." Harry said.

"A fetus? Really Harry?" Louis laughed.

"Well it's true." Harry shrugged.

"I want to ask you if you're okay with things just like you always ask me if I'm okay too. We both have to be on the same page and okay with whatever we want to do....hi baby!" Louis exclaimed seeing Logan wide awake staring up at them.

"You hungry yet lovebug?" Harry asked leaning down to kiss her forehead while she rubbed her eyes.

Harry chuckled and got up to continue making dinner leaving Louis and Logan alone in a nice comfortable silence as he waited for her to fully wake up, she took a deep breath then slowly got up and climbed on Louis' lap straddling him then wrapped her arms around his neck resting her head on his shoulder sighing in content. She stayed there until Harry called them in for dinner then clung to him choosing to sit on his lap and eat her food feeding both of them once in a while making airplane noises even though they were eating the same thing.

*~*

"Everything she will need is in her bag and call us if something happens. Are you sure you guys are fine with taking the dog too?" Louis asked giving Zayn a small light blue duffel bag.

"We don't mind at all." Zayn smiled.

"We want to see what it's like anyway." Niall continued.

"Got the test results back already? Who's the lucky one?" Louis asked hearing Harry and Logan laughing from her room.

"I am but...I can't conceive that easy like you, I'll- I'll need treatments." Niall looked down chewing on his bottom lip.

"Hey...it will be okay and before you know it you'll be carrying a little one that I'm going to spoil rotten." Louis smiled trying to make him feel better.

"Doctor said I only have a forty percent chance of getting pregnant Lou and even if I go through with it it might not work." Niall explained tearing up.

"If it doesn't work then I could carry it for you, you guys are always there for me and this is the least I could do." Louis beamed then turned around to see Harry standing behind him with Logan hanging from his leg like a koala.

"Hey guys." Harry waved then turned back to Louis, "Carry what babe?"

"Umm, I found out its hard for me to get pregnant and Louis offered to carry it for us but it's okay...He doesn't have to." Niall informed him rather nervously while Zayn pulled him closer kissing the top of his head.

"Oh. Well I think that's great, you both were always there for him." Harry smiled.

"You don't mind?" Louis asked.

"Not at all." Harry bent down to pick Logan up then walked to stand next to Louis.

"So then it's settled. Whenever you guys want to and of course after the treatments which I'm sure will work." Louis hugged both of them.

"Thank you so much Lou, you're the best." Zayn hugged him tighter.

"You don't have to thank me Zee, I just want both of you to be happy and be able to become parents."

"Uncle Zayn, uncle Niall we go now? I want to go to the park." Logan wiggled out of Harry's arms into Zayn's.

"We shall go now cupcake, say bye to your daddies." Zayn smiled kissing her cheek.

"Bye daddies, love you." Logan leaned over to kiss their cheeks.

"Bye lovebug, I love you and be a good girl." Harry kissed her forehead.

"I am." Logan smiled.

"I love you baby and please listen to uncle Niall and Zayn." Louis cupped the back of her head kissing the tip of her nose.

"I love you daddies, bye." Logan quickly said expecting Zayn to start walking making them chuckle.

"We'll bring her back Sunday night and thank you so much for letting us take her." Niall smiled hugging Louis.

"No problem, call us if anything happens." Louis said.

"Bye guys." Zayn waved walking out of the flat after Niall closing the door leaving Louis and Harry in complete silence.

"So what do we do now?" Harry asked raising his eyebrows when Louis smirked.

*~*

"Oh my god yes...Yeah just like that." Louis moaned tightening his grip on the tangled up bedsheets underneath him as Harry pounded into him from behind.

He reached down grabbing his cock and began pumping himself in sink with Harry's thrusts until he felt his lower stomach tightening then his cum in his hand staying still until Harry came into the condom. He let himself fall down onto the mattress with Harry still inside of him feeling his sweaty body on top of him fitting in like a puzzle piece as he tried to catch his breath then felt him pulling out and laying next to him wrapping his long arms around him.

"I think- I think I like it better like this, you doing all the work." Louis reached to trail kisses up and down Harry's neck leaving small red marks behind wherever he so desired.

"You don't want to- to try again?" Harry panted running his fingers up and down Louis' back.

"No, never again. I like it better when you fuck me...into the mattress." Louis tugged on Harry's bottom lip noticing the way Harry's cheeks tinted a little red.

"It's not fucking, it's making love." Harry whined flipping Louis around so he was on his back accommodating himself in between his legs moving his hips in small circular motions hearing Louis let out a tiny moan.

"You ready for another round?" Louis asked wrapping his legs around Harry locking his ankles together.

"We should eat breakfast first, you look a little pale." Harry stopped moving his hips and kissed Louis' forehead before he got up.

"I want French toast and...you're walking funny." Louis laughed.

"You sure you don't wanna try again?" Harry looked at him raising his eyebrow.

"No! Now make me breakfast." Louis threw a pillow at him thinking about the night before that to him had ended up in disaster.

He had never felt so embarrassed in his life when he came way too fast just as Harry was starting to get used to him and wasn't even close to finishing then ended up getting himself off while Louis was too embarrassed to even watch. Harry had quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed the life out of him praising him that he had done great and with time he would get better and last longer but Louis quickly said no telling him he would never top ever again and would rather let Harry do all the work. He could smell the food Harry was preparing and hear his stomach growling needing food and fast deciding to just get up wash his hands and put at least some boxers on. As soon as he got up he quickly sat back down opening and closing his eyes feeling the room spinning around then his heart rate and breathing increasing until they went back to normal and he was able to get up again as if nothing had happened. Nothing happened for the rest of the day since he spent it pressed up against or on his stomach on any flat surface they could find in his or Harry's flats christening both places except Logan's rooms.

~*~

"Zayn called and said he's gonna drop her off after her nap." Louis said grabbing a fistful of popcorn eating one by one laying down next to Harry on the couch both of them wearing nothing but boxers.

"Should we make dinner tonight?" Harry asked while sending a text to his assistant about his schedule for Monday.

"I dunno but I know what we should do right now." Louis smirked turning around to face Harry kissing up and down his chest abandoning his bowl full of popcorn.

"Again!?" Harry's eyes widened looking fucked out even though he was the one doing the fucking and wasn't even sure if he would be able to get it up ever again after their crazy Saturday and Sunday morning when Louis had asked him or more like demanded do it on top of the kitchen table.

"Yes again...Harry I need you." Louis whined drawing circles on his chest with his index finger then looked sad out of nowhere, "Don't you want me anymore?" Louis' eyes began shining with tears as he tried to unsuccessfully get away from him.

"I do want you, come here." Harry pulled him closer by the back of his neck never letting go as he kissed him tasting the popcorn he had just been eating.

Harry grabbed Louis by the waist and lifted him up placing him in between his legs where Louis quickly began grinding on him to try and get him hard as fast as he could feeling Harry's hands underneath his boxers kneading and squeezing the skin. He sat up shifting Louis so he was straddling him and got up running towards his room holding him up by the back of his thighs gently putting him down on the bed then let himself fall next to him waiting for Louis to do something.

Louis licked his lips and straddled his waist after grabbing lube and a condom making a mental note to buy more and slowly began moving his hips in eight figures as Harry moved his hands from his shoulders all the way down to the curve of his bum making Louis shiver then moan when he felt one of Harry's lubed up fingers entering him. A second one was added soon then a third one before he put the condom on Harry then lubed him up himself, he got on his knees resting one hand by Harry's head and used the other to guide his erection up to his entrance slowly lowering himself on it. Once Harry was all the way inside of him he stayed still leaning down to kiss Harry then began moving his hips up and down at a slow pace before he moved them faster earning loud moans from Harry as he cupped his cheeks with his hands squeezing the flesh urging him to go faster.

"I'm- I'm gonna come...shit Lou you're tight." Harry bucked his hips up slamming into Louis tightly gripping his hips.

"Nonono, not yet...h- hold it." Louis closed his eyes shifting his angle until Harry was hitting his prostate with every thrust.

Louis threw his head backwards supporting himself on his hands resting them on Harry's thighs getting closer and closer feeling Harry's hand wrapping around his cock pumping it until he came hard shouting Harry's name coating both of their chests. Harry pulled Louis towards him kissing and tugging on his lips as Louis bounced up and down faster meeting Harry's thrusts in the middle slowing down when Harry emptied himself into the condom. Louis brought his head down resting it on the crook of Harry's neck trying to even out his breathing relaxing when Harry kissed his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him welcoming in his warmth. He carefully lifted him up then lowered him back down again managing to get rid of the condom.

"I love you..." Louis mumbled half asleep.

"I love you too angel. C'mon let's go shower before Logan gets here." Harry smiled getting up with him in his arms chuckling when Louis whined trying to get him to stay.

After showering together and cleaning the flat a bit to make it look more presentable and neat they settled down on the couch to wait for her while watching tv. Once Logan got there it was all hugs and kisses to both daddies telling them all about her time with uncle Zayn and uncle Niall after they had left then wanted to know if they had missed her while she was gone getting hugs and kisses as an answer. Louis had laughed when he found a Little Mix CD in her bag remembering one of the songs from when he had picked Logan up from Lottie's and by the end of the day he and Harry had memorized 'Move' by the amount of times Logan had asked them to replay it and it was all thanks to Zayn who had gotten the CD for her.

~*~

"Love I have to go, I'll see you at lunch." Harry whispered to a half asleep Louis.

"Okay, love you." Louis mumbled getting comfortable under the covers.

"Love you more." Harry said kissing his forehead before he walked out of the room and into Logan's.

She was sleeping almost at the foot of the bed curled up next to Buttercup and slightly whined when Harry picked her up and tucked her back in her spot giving her a kiss on the forehead then left for work after taking the dog out to the pet area and leaving food and water for him. An hour later Louis began moving around on his bed feeling uncomfortable and him sweating wasn't making it any better, he moved to his side pushing the covers away to let his body cool down when his eyes snapped open and as fast as he could got out of bed running towards the bathroom with a hand over his mouth. He had barely made it to the toilet when he began throwing up everything he had eaten the day before getting some on his fingers which only helped to make him throw up again until he had nothing left on his stomach and was left gagging then flushed it down lowering the toilet seat resting his check on it feeling slightly better as he closed his eyes.

"Daddy?" Logan called from the door making him open his eyes trying to get up.

"Morning baby." Louis tried to smile walking to the sink to wash his hands and brush his teeth before he picked her up.

"It's the nasty water coming out, you sick too daddy?" She asked wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"No baby, daddy just ate a lot of food yesterday." Louis poked her cheek walking back to bed feeling so much better already and as if nothing had happened.

It continued for the rest of the week usually when Harry was already gone for work and even though Louis already knew what was wrong with him he ignored it hoping for it to go away knowing deep inside it would never happen but when the smell of some foods were enough to make him sick he decided to buy a few pregnancy tests thinking it was best to keep it to himself until he had taken them and gone to a doctor to be a hundred percent sure. That Tuesday morning he stared down at the four positive tests smiling widely then began crying when he realized how much he really wanted their new baby and how he was going to tell Harry he was pregnant when he had made it clear he didn't want another child at the moment. After he had thrown away the positive tests making sure Harry would never find them and he had washed his face he made an appointment for the following Thursday with Dr. Lane who had delivered Logan.

"What did you do all day?" Harry kissed Louis as soon as he had walked through the door holding a small plastic box with cupcakes.

"We went grocery shopping then David and I took the kids to the park." Louis answered stiffening when Harry wrapped his arms around him rubbing small circles on his bare skin right where Louis knew very well he would soon have a baby bump.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked pulling away.

"Nothing...your hands are kinda cold, that's all." Louis smiled.

"Oh, sorry." Harry smiled in return turning around when he heard Logan coming from her room shouting 'daddy' at the top of her lungs jumping into his awaiting arms.

Louis smiled watching him as he picked her up and twirled her around before he kissed her cheeks blowing raspberries on them making her laugh hysterically until she pushed his face away and he set her back down on the floor where she clung to Louis' leg, a new habit she had developed doing it to either of them.

"I'm too lazy to cook dinner. Wanna go out and get something?" Harry asked.

"Sure, just let me go change her clothes." Louis smiled pecking his lips then picked Logan up being careful with her legs around his stomach making sure she didn't kick it now that he knew about the baby.

Louis was able to hide his puking sessions and waves of nausea for the rest of the week rather successfully and for once was glad that Harry left early and wasn't home much due to too many things he had going on at work or else he would've found out by then and the thought of Harry leaving him because of an unplanned pregnancy scared him to death. Even though he wasn't showing yet he couldn't help but feel paranoid that if Harry was to see him shirtless then he would know something was going on and he would have to tell him without an ultrasound picture like he wanted and had planned so he opted for always wearing a shirt only taking them off when he was alone or in the dark.

~*~

"Louis Tomlinson?" A short blonde nurse called him in after waiting for ten minutes in Dr. Lane's office.

He walked into an examination room where she checked his vitals, weight and height. She asked him a few questions then walked him into another room telling him Dr. Lane would be there in a few minutes.

"Louis! Oh my God look at you all grown up and handsome as ever." Dr. Lane exclaimed walking into the room reaching to give him a small hug.

"Dr. Lane, how are you?" Louis smiled hugging her back.

"Call me Rebecca and I'm great. How's your baby girl." She asked taking a seat in front of Louis.

"Her name's Logan and she's great...definitely not a baby anymore." Louis' whole face brightened talking about her.

"Bet she's a gorgeous little girl. So you're pregnant again?" She asked smiling wider when he happily nodded.

"I'm gonna have to do an internal ultrasound just to make sure since you say you think you're less than six weeks, it might be a bit uncomfortable but painless. I'm gonna step out while you change into this." Rebecca said handing him a blue hospital gown.

A few minutes later he was sitting on the examination table with a white sheet over his lap when Rebecca walked back in asking him to lay down on his back and put his feet up on the stirrups then proceeded to explain the procedure blushing when she told him she had to stretch him out a bit. He looked at the clock hoping for her to be done soon since he had two hours to pick Logan up from David's house hoping she wasn't crying at the moment, he winced a little when he felt what she had called a transducer penetrating him getting annoyed that he hadn't been allowed to pee before.

"You are pregnant, congratulations Louis. That's your baby right there." Rebecca announced seconds later pointing at the screen to a small grey blob surrounded by a black sac then more grey around it.

"How far along am I?" Louis asked wiping away the happy tears.

"You are...eight weeks on the dot." Rebecca said looking at the screen then at Louis when he said nothing.

"Ei- eight weeks? That's- that's impossible, I should be less than six." Louis stuttered.

"You are carrying an eight week embryo Louis, one more week until it enters the fetal stage." Rebecca explained.

"Then that means...I took those morning after pills and I even took a pregnancy test five weeks ago that was negative." Louis explained trying not to cry because he had been pregnant all along and both he and Harry had been going at it rather roughly and now their baby could be hurt.

"Sometimes it takes more than one pregnancy test to get a positive result and three weeks was still a bit early." She explained taking a few measurements and pictures before she took the transducer out of Louis, "Did you tell the pharmacist those pills were for you?" She asked.

"N- no, I told him they were for my girlfriend." Louis blushed a little.

"That's how you ended up pregnant then, men need a specific pill made for them. They have different hormone compounds than the ones made for females and since you took regular ones it was as if you never took them." Rebecca explained.

"Is my baby okay?" Louis asked.

"It is healthy and in great shape, we weren't able to hear the heartbeat yet but it has a strong one. I would like to see you in a week and if you could bring the other father with you then that would be great so I can take an extensive medical history of him to be able to know if there are any diseases or genetic disorders that might run in the family. I know you had a healthy baby last time but we want to make sure everything's okay with this one. Also, there's a new prenatal ultrasound technician that will be helping me." She explained.

"Okay...something I need to tell you. This- this baby is his too so I don't think there will be any problems with the baby." Louis tried not to look away.

"You mean he- Louis did he..."

"Nono, this time it wasn't, it's not like that anymore. I love him and he loves us." Louis confessed.

"As long as he doesn't hurt you again and you're happy." She genuinely smiled. "I'm gonna prescribe you prenatal vitamins and I'll see you in a week. It was nice to see you again and I would really love to meet your daughter and her father."

"You will, thanks Rebecca."

Louis left her office with an ultrasound picture to show to Harry, a filled prescription and the biggest smile on his face. He picked Logan up thanking David a million times for watching her and that if he ever needed someone to watch Alex to just give them a call them got home at around three in the afternoon thinking of ways to tell Harry he was going to be a father again. While Logan played with the dog and 'Emily', he looked at the picture slowly tracing the shape of his baby then put a hand over his stomach hoping for a baby boy this time. He wanted to do in a public place that way if Harry got angry then he would have to control himself so he decided to do it over dinner that same night then grabbed his phone to call him while he booked a reservation at The Ledbury happy that there were tables available after five.

"Hey love." Harry answered the phone on the second ring.

"Hey....I wanted to know if you want to go out to dinner with Logan and I tonight, I have something to tell you." Louis nervously asked.

"I would love to, what time and where...Oh and can you tell me now...please." Harry said.

"No, it's a surprise. Tonight at six at The Ledbury." Louis smiled getting much better.

"Six? Oh crap...I don't get off till six thirty but don't cancel love, I'm gonna try and get out of here by six and I'll meet you there. I might be a little late though." Harry said.

"Okay, we'll be waiting for you. I love you Harry." Louis said really meaning it.

"I love you too Lou, kiss my lovebug for me and tell her I love her."

"I will, bye."

"Bye."

Louis hung up then looked at his phone thinking about calling his mum and Anne to tell them the news that there was another baby on the way but decided against it wanting Harry to be the first to know. He waited until five to get Logan and himself ready then twenty minutes before six left their flat heading to the restaurant getting there on time to what would be the beginning of something beautiful or more heartbreak if things didn't go as planned. He gave his name to the host and told him about Harry getting there a little bit late before he led them to a table towards one of the corners close to the kitchen far away from the rest of the crowded restaurant.

"Is my daddy curly coming too?" Logan asked playing with the edge of the white tablecloth.

"He is baby, we just have to wait a little bit for him to get here." Louis smiled leaning in to kiss her forehead gently grabbing her chin with his thumb and index finger.

"Wanna know a secret?" Logan giggled leaning closer to Louis.

"I do sweetheart." Louis leaned a little bit more so he was at eye level with her smiling when she put her hand by his ear feeling her breath tickling it.

"I love you daddy." Logan whispered pulling back smiling widely.

"And you wanna know one too?" Louis asked leaning closer to her when she nodded. "I love you more."

He was about to kiss her cheek when he heard a loud bang coming from the kitchen startling everyone then the employees getting out of there before he saw them, angry orange and hot flames quickly spreading throughout the restaurant devouring everything on their path. Without thinking he grabbed Logan's hand pulling her towards the exit only to come face to face with a crowd pushing each other trying to get out at same time as the cooks shouted that the fire exits had been locked from the outside.

He frantically looked around for a way to escape hearing people all around him coughing and doing it himself from the smoke knowing he had to protect Logan who was crying and his unborn baby from it. Wanting to pick her up he let go of her hand for a moment as people pushed each other but when he looked back down she had vanished into thin air and was no longer by his side.

"Logan? Logan!?" Louis screamed horrified feeling a heavy weight on his chest and his eyes stinging with tears that quickly rolled down his cheeks.

"Sir, the exit is that way." One of the waiters almost shouted pushing Louis towards the exit when he began walking back into the restaurant desperately looking for his daughter.

"No! I have- I have to find my daughter. Have you seen her? She's four and she's wearing a light blue dress and- and has curly hair. Logan!?" Louis shouted full on crying looking everywhere for her.

"She was probably picked up by someone and is already outside. Please sir." The waiter pushed him outside while Louis struggled against his hold wanting to go back seeing the flames quickly spreading.

As soon as he was outside he searched everywhere for her asking anybody who crossed his path even the firefighters not knowing what he was going to tell Harry, wanting to die because he had lost their daughter and he was going to hate him. He let out a loud sob realizing she was still inside that hell when a woman told him she had seen her and had tried to pick her up but couldn't. He felt his chest painfully tightening when he looked up then took off running trying to go back inside and look for her when one of the firefighters wrapped a strong arm around him preventing him from going any further.

"Let me go!" Louis thrashed in his arms trying to get out of his grip.

"I'm sorry but I can't let you go back in there."

"My daughter's still inside, I have to get her out! Please...I can't lose her, please." Louis begged.

"I'm sorry...I can't." The firefighter shook his head sadly.

"No....Logan...." Louis sobbed letting himself fall down to the ground still in the man's arms.

"Louis? Louis oh thank god." Harry let out a relieved breath once he saw him after thinking the worst wrapping his arms around him trying to make him look at him.

"Harry I lost her, I lost our daughter. I'm sorry." Louis sobbed grabbing fistfuls of Harry's jacket.

"Louis where is she, where's Logan? Answer me!" Harry shook Louis desperate for an answer.

"I- I only let go for a bit then she was gone. She's- she's still inside and they won't let me go back." Louis sobbed seeking Harry's warmth for comfort but was pushed away crying louder until he saw what Harry was doing.

Harry could feel his heart pounding in his head as he ran towards the fire forgetting about everything else unable to think clearly when all he could think about was his Logan trapped in a fire, his baby girl he had only known for less than four months and couldn't lose. He dodged a few firefighters trying to stop him punching one of them when he was stopped and continued running until he was inside and couldn't see clearly or breathe from the smoke.

All Louis could do was cry and watch Harry run inside the building trying to follow him but unable to when he was held back hearing the firefighters talk about his Harry and how they couldn't do anything to get him out. He cried harder as he silently pleaded for Harry to find her and find a way out because he couldn't lose them, he couldn't lose his child he had waited nine months to have and hold and had struggled to bring her into the world. He couldn't lose his best friend, the man he loved when he had only gotten him back. He wanted to go back in time and do everything differently, he wanted to go back and change that day when he willed himself to talk about Harry to the small human being they had created knowing she would never understand him or the pain her other father had caused.

_It was a few hours later after Louis had gotten back from the hospital having left with nothing and was now back again but this time holding a two day old baby girl that he was finally left alone with her. He had just settled down on his bed to rest a little when she began crying and as fast as he could got up to pick her up and comfort her smiling a little when she stopped crying as soon as she felt safe in his warm hold hearing his steady heartbeats. He sat down on the bed against the headboard holding the only thing he had left of him and that he was sure would love him back and not treat him like trash just like he had done. He observed her tiny face lightly stroking her chubby cheek with his thumb as she moved her tiny arms and mitten covered hands around to keep her from scratching her face yawning and forming her tiny pouty lips into a small 'O'._

_He gently grabbed the corner of her pink blanket putting it over her to keep her warm as his eyes filled with tears ashamed of himself for ever hating such a small, defenseless and innocent creature he had carried inside of him for way too long and had felt her move and kick letting him know she was still there after he had tried to get rid of her. Now that she was there in his arms he only wanted to love and protect her letting out a muffled sob remembering how her father had never loved him and had lied to him when he promised they would always be together no matter what then let the tears fall down asking himself how the hell was he going to protect her when he had failed to protect himself that day and every single one of them for the past two years._

_"I'll never let him hurt you baby, that's why he can't know about you. Your dad used to be my best friend you know, we used to do everything together always so happy and always getting in trouble because I was the fool who would do anything he said. He promised me he would always be my friend and would never let anybody hurt me but he's the one who ended up hurting me and I can't let him hurt you too. It's wrong but because of what he did I have you and he can't take you away from me." Louis whispered kissing the tip of her nose rocking her when she let out a loud sharp cry._

_"Don't cry my baby, please don't cry." Louis cried shifting her up against his chest with her head resting on the crook of his neck and his hand covering her whole back supporting her head._

_"You don't need him, you don't because you have me and I'm your daddy and I would never let anything bad happen to you. If he never loved me then I don't think he would've loved you either because you belong to me, you're mine and with time I realized he hates everything about me. We're better off without him and him not knowing about you...I don't want him to hurt and hate you too, sweetheart."_

And now Louis regretted it, no matter how hurt he had been then he now regretted ever telling her he would've never loved her when he would have loved her no matter what enough to die for her but now it was too late. He regretted keeping her from him and never going back to find him and tell him about her because if he had done just that then Harry would've never missed all four years of her life, her first word and steps. And as the glass shattered from the heat and there was almost nothing left but flames, rubble and ashes he cried and wished he could go back in time and let him be around her all her life and not just four months. He wrapped his arms around his stomach realizing he had to start all over again with nothing but his unborn baby and no Harry but this time also without his Logan.

He felt numb and cold until he could barely hear faint coughing that only grew louder and louder then shouts from the firefighters letting the emergency team know they were out and alive. As fast as he could he got up and ran towards a coughing Harry who was limping and was covered in black ashes tightly holding a small bundle wrapped in his jacket and as he got closer he could see Harry's forearms were slightly burnt. When he was just a few feet away from them Harry was still violently coughing and gasping for air as he walked feeling his lungs burning until he couldn't walk anymore and Louis watched horrified as he fell down on his knees then to his side hitting his head on the pavement never letting go of their daughter whose cries and coughs he could hear as Harry held her tightly in his arms even though he was unconscious and no longer breathing.

That's when Louis knew....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Thoughts? :)


	27. Loving you forever can't be wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I was going to update last night but my mom made me do lots of stuff and then I fell asleep typing it. All I have to say is that this story will have a happy ending because I hate sad endings and please read the whole chapter no matter what. I also made a track list for this chapter and the link is right below. Enjoy. :)
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> http://8tracks.com/clearlymeanttobe/ghost-of-you

Louis sat all alone in an almost empty waiting room in the hospital ICU holding the ultrasound picture and Harry's jacket that still smelled heavily of smoke and was stained by his tears being the only thing that had been given back to him after the paramedics had pried a screaming and coughing Logan out and away from Harry's tight hold. He had had to be held back as the paramedics worked on both of them supplying her with oxygen and doing the same to Harry but more urgently fighting against time to get him to breathe again then had calmed down a bit after hearing one of the paramedics saying that he was breathing again. Not wasting any time they had placed oxygen masks over both of their faces then put into stretchers to be taken to the hospital not letting Louis ride with either of them, he had tried to drive safely for the sake of the baby even though he was dying on the inside and wanted to get there as fast as he could. He had called Zayn asking him to meet him there without telling him anything and to call the others and once he had arrived at the hospital he was told to wait thus starting his own personal hell not knowing anything about them.

 

"Louis! Louis what happened?" 

 

"It was all my fault Zayn, I told him to meet me there and I lost her." Louis wailed running to Zayn who immediately wrapped his arms around him.

 

"Lou you need to calm down and tell us what happened." Eleanor gently said while Liam and Niall rubbed his back.

 

"I - I told Harry to meet me at The Ledbury and I don't even know how it started or how it spread that fast but there was a fire and I accidentally let go of Logan and I lost her, I - I tried to go back but they wouldn't let me until Harry got there and he did...And now he's dying and its all my fault. It's been two hours!" Louis broke down crying again.

 

"He got her out?" Zayn asked closing his eyes when he felt Louis nodding.

 

"It's gonna be okay LouLou." Niall softly spoke.

 

"No, I - I saw him fall down...I can't lose them." Louis sobbed.

 

"They're gonna be fine Louis, you'll see...I know Harry and he's a fighter. He'll get through this as well as Logan." Liam said trying to believe it himself knowing Louis remembered too how he had already gone through the same thing of almost dying.

 

"He wasn't breathing, he wasn't breathing and I didn't even get to tell him." Louis tightened his grip on both items he was still holding.

 

"Tell him what Lou?" Zayn frantically asked.

 

"Oh Louis..." Eleanor repeated the same words she had said four years ago when she noticed the black and grey picture Louis was holding. "Is that why you asked him to meet you there, you were going to tell him?" She asked then wrapped her arms around him when he nodded.

 

"They're both going to be okay and they're gonna be so happy with the new baby." Zayn rubbed his back. "Liam, Niall...could you please go call Anne and Jay? They need to know what happened."

 

After Liam and Niall nodded and left to call them Louis stayed in Zayn's arms soaking his shirt with tears while he and Eleanor tried to calm him down then brought him water he refused to drink until they mentioned the baby and he took it realizing how thirsty he really was. Minutes later both Niall and Liam came back telling them they were all on their way except Louis' sisters who Jay was going to leave with Roxanne then Louis had to be held back when he saw a tall blond doctor talking to a nurse as she pointed at him and he started walking towards them.

 

"Louis Tomlinson? Logan Styles' father correct?" The doctor asked to a nervous Louis who immediately shot up from his spot followed by the rest.

 

"Yes, I'm her father. Is she okay, how's Harry...her - her dad." Louis frantically asked.

 

"I'm doctor Jones, I'm the pediatrician who treated your daughter. Dr. Summers is treating Mr. Styles and will soon be here to let you know about his condition." He explained in a soothing tone.

 

"How is she, is my baby okay?" Louis asked.

 

"We had to sedate her to calm her down and be able to keep the stress levels down in order to give her an oxygen treatment. She's okay but she's gonna have to stay hospitalized until her lungs and airway passages are cleared out from the carbon monoxide she inhaled and we're a hundred percent sure she can breathe on her own without any trouble. She was lucky her father kept her from inhaling too much smoke or it would have been fatal for a small child like her." Dr. Jones finished explaining making Louis feel a bit better but was still worried sick about Harry's well-being.

 

"Can I see her?" Louis asked.

 

"She's sedated right now but once she wakes up one of the pediatric nurses will come get you but only one person per visit please."

 

"Thank you." Louis said rubbing his hands on his face sighing in relief.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson? I'm Dr. Summers." Louis looked up seeing a tall dark haired man holding a few files on his hand wearing an apologetic look making Louis fear for the worst.

 

"Please tell me he's not dead, please..." Louis pleaded full on crying.

 

"He's alive," Dr. Summers spoke calming him down but what he said next completely shattered him. "In attempts of keeping the child from inhaling too much smoke he didn't protected himself...He has carbon monoxide poisoning as well as superficial second degree burns on the forearms and face and while treating him he stopped breathing but we were able to stabilize him..." 

 

"Is he gonna be okay?" Louis interrupted tightening his grip on Harry's jacket.

 

"Right now he's in a hyperbaric chamber undergoing hyperbaric oxygen therapy to get more oxygen into his body and get rid of the carbon monoxide and once he's done with that we'll put him in an Endrotracheal tube to make it easier for him to breathe." Dr. Summers explained.

 

"But he's okay right...he's awake and okay." Louis pressed.

 

"He's gone into a coma due to the high amount of gas he inhaled, we don't know when he'll wake up and if he does there's a possibility of irreversible brain damage. Paramedics were able to supply him with oxygen as soon as possible but we have to consider he also took a blow to the right side of his head when he collapsed. We're doing everything we can, can't lose hope yet." Dr. Summers spoke the last sentence watching Louis completely break down sobbing.

 

"C - Can I see him? P - please I have to see him." Louis begged.

 

"As soon as he's done with the therapy you'll be able to see him." Dr. Summers smiled a little then left leaving Louis with the rest of his friends but feeling more alone than ever.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson?" A nurse dressed in light purple scrubs with teddy bears on them spoke making Louis look up after another thirty minutes of waiting. "Your daughter's been awake for a while now and she won't stop crying...this way please."

 

Without looking back Louis followed her through a corridor until he could hear her muffled cries getting louder and louder then ran to her when he saw her laying down on the bed with another nurse next to her holding her oxygen mask in place as she cried her eyes out that were nearly swollen shut. She had been cleaned up and had on a light pink hospital gown also with teddy bear designs instead of the blue dress stained with black ashes and her hair was down in a curly mess. As soon as she spotted him she cried louder extending her arms up to him and Louis quickly wrapped his arms around her kissing the top of her head still smelling a bit of smoke. He didn't noticed he was crying again until the same nurse handed him a box of tissues and smiled leaving them alone after telling him to make sure she kept the mask on, he also wondered what was he going to do with two children all by himself and how was he going to live without Harry if he didn't made it. All he wanted was for him to be okay and wake up so they could experience his second pregnancy together and be able to enjoy Logan and their new baby as a happy family but when had things gone his way.

 

"Daddy we go home." Logan demanded trying to pull the mask away from her face.

 

"We will soon but you have to keep it on so you can breathe better, it's for your own good baby. I thought I lost you sweetheart." Louis ran a hand through her curls fixing the mask with his other hand.

 

"Where's my curly? Daddy I want my curly." Logan whimpered looking around for Harry.

 

Louis took a seat on the bed next to her cradling her head against his chest and racking his brain for something to tell her. "Daddy is a little sick right now like you and can't come see you because he's asleep right now but hopefully he'll wake up soon."

 

"Then we go night night together daddy." Logan said trying to get up and go to Harry only to be stopped by Louis.

 

"He has to sleep in his own bed for now and you're gonna sleep here, I'll sing to you so you can go to sleep. Are you tired yet?" Louis asked hugging her closer kissing the top of her head never wanting to let her go ever again.

 

"Mhm. Daddy I need my blankie and Mr. Curls and Buttercup!" Logan exclaimed.

 

"It's okay baby, I'm here." Louis smiled.

 

"You go night night with me?" Logan asked.

 

"Yeah baby girl, I'll go night night with you." Louis promised tucking her in.

 

Louis sung you are my sunshine by Logan's request because she missed her curly until she fell asleep and stayed with her hugging her close to his chest waiting for the doctors to let him see Harry. He was dozing off when Anne and Jay walked through the door trying not to cry when they saw their defenseless sleeping granddaughter laying on a too big bed for her wearing a small oxygen mask. Louis felt another wave of tears roll down his face when he noticed the state Anne was in figuring out she already knew how Harry was and it was all his fault, if he hadn't let go of their daughter then Harry wouldn't be in that situation having stopped breathing and now being in a coma and at risk of permanent brain injury.

 

"Anne...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Louis miserably whimpered feeling ashamed.

 

"Calm down love, it wasn't your fault. It was an accident and Harry did what any parent would have done, please don't blame yourself because it wasn't your fault are all." Anne rushed to Louis' side hugging him tightly.

 

"I let her go Anne, I couldn't protect her and they almost died because of my stupidity." Louis said against her stomach.

 

"It wasn't your fault Lou, it wasn't." Jay also wrapped her arms around him.

 

"Robin, Gemma, your parents and I got to see him as well as Liam and Eleanor. Niall and Zayn were with him...we came to stay with her while you go see him." Anne ran her fingers through his hair.

 

"Is he okay?" Louis asked slowly getting up from the bed.

 

"He's...he's still in a coma but stable, go see him Lou and we'll stay here. He's in the ICU, room 219." Anne tried to smile.

 

Louis gave them a quick hug and a kiss to Logan's forehead before he rushed out of the room almost running to the ICU and after giving Mark, Gemma and Robin a hug he walked to Harry's room feeling anxious. A nurse made him wash his hands to prevent infections then left Louis alone outside Harry's room leaving him on his own with him, he took a deep breath and opened the door quickly bringing his hand over his mouth to keep the loud sob from coming out seeing the state Harry was in. He slowly walked up to the hospital bed where Harry was laying hooked up to a heart monitor and a ventilator noticing a tube placed in his mouth down to his windpipe and an IV on his left hand. He gently grabbed Harry's right hand with both of his careful not to disturb the white bandages on his forearms seeing more of them on his right temple and a smaller one covering his left cheek then kissed his knuckles letting the fresh tears fall seeing how pale he looked reaching to run his fingers through his dull hair.

 

"I'm sorry love..." Louis began drying the tears with his sleeve. "Logan's alive and okay thanks to you and you have to wake up soon because she misses you and wants to see you. We're - we're gonna have another baby...I just found out last Tuesday and wanted to tell you today. Please...please wake up, I don't want to do it alone anymore. I want you to be there when it's born and I want this baby to know you and know you're it's father."

 

Louis took a deep breath then stayed silent watching Harry just waiting for his eyes to flutter open and see the green he loved so much but they never did and Harry stayed unconscious and not moving at all. He set his head down on the bed next to Harry's hand still holding onto it listening to the steady beeps from the heart monitor then closed his eyes hoping for a miracle, hoping for Harry to wake up without any lasting injuries and go back home with them where he knew he would never let him leave. He was once again dozing off still hearing the somehow comforting and constant beeps that told him he was still alive when he was startled by an alarm going off in the monitor, panicking and as fast as he could he got up to press the emergency button nearly tripping on his own feet then ran back to Harry wanting to shake him awake silently begging him not to leave them.

 

"Harry...Harry? Harry!? Harry wake up, Harry please wake up. Open your eyes." Louis pleaded finally letting out a heartbreaking sob letting his hands hover over Harry's face afraid of hurting him. "NoNo, please wake up...please don't leave me alone. Harry you promised, don't do this to me...You promised."

 

"Get the defibrillator ready, he's going into cardiac arrest!" Dr. Summers shouted running into the room just as someone pulled Louis away from Harry as he struggled to go back to him feeling his chest tightening.

 

Louis watched Dr. Summers commanding everyone around him before shouting 'clear' and when nothing happened and Harry showed no signs of life Louis only cried harder. He tried three more times before he stopped and looked at the monitor before he looked down at Harry attempting one more time then looked at the monitor once again where it showed he had flatlined.

 

"That's enough." He said and began checking his vitals while Louis' chest tightened more and more as the seconds passed by. "Time of death...21:34. I'm sorry Mr. Tomlinson."

 

"No...NoNo please. Harry! Harry please..." Louis ran to his side trying to shake him awake fighting off whoever was trying to pull him away from his Harry, his best friend he had known since he was just a thirteen year old boy, the boy who wanted to grow up and have a big family and be happy for the rest of his life. "I already forgave you...please wake up. Don't leave me alone."

 

He sobbed feeling dizzy and as if he was slowly suffocating while still holding onto Harry realizing he had forgiven him the moment he collapsed right in front of him still holding onto and never letting go of their daughter he thought he would hate but none of that mattered anymore when forgiveness had come too late. His vision became blurry until he couldn't see or feel anything else but blackness surrounding him.

 

~*~

 

The first thing he heard when he opened his eyes again were the muffled cries coming from somewhere then slowly lifted his head noticing he was in a hospital bed and his parents and friends were there except Liam and Zayn. He recognized his mum to be the one who was crying wondering why until his father mentioned Harry and that's when he remembered. He tried to get up and go to him knowing it had all been a dream and Harry was alive and okay but when Mark held him down and he saw the sorrow etched in their faces that's when he knew he really was gone.

 

"Harry?" Louis croak out feeling the hot tears rolling down his temples.

 

"I'm sorry love...he's - he's gone." Jay grabbed his hand but he quickly pulled it away.

 

"No! You're lying, he's not dead...he's - he's just sleeping." Louis sobbed ignoring Niall and Eleanor's attempts at calming him down.

 

"Louis..." Mark started but Louis interrupted him trying to get up getting held down by him again.

 

"I - I need to see him dad, I need to tell him - I didn't even get to tell him." Louis struggled against his hold getting desperate. "Let me go! You don't want me to see him because you hate him...let go dammit!"

 

His sobs quickly turned into screams begging Harry to comeback and that he had promised to always stay with them only calming down when Dr. Summers sedated him to keep him from harming himself and the baby after Eleanor told them he was just a few weeks pregnant. The next time he woke up it was already morning seeing Gemma asleep on the chair next to his bed with her head resting next to his hand, he gently touched her shoulder making her jump then burst out crying again when he saw her red rimmed and swollen eyes and all she could do was comfort him even though she was hurting too.

 

"I'm sorry Lou." Gemma mumbled swallowing the lump in her throat and resisting the need to just cry for her baby brother until she couldn't anymore.

 

"I killed him Gemma. I killed him...I'm sorry." Louis sobbed.

 

"You didn't kill him Lou, his - his time here was up...we have to be strong and you needed to think about Logan and the new baby." Gemma gently said wrapping her arms around him trying to accept her brother's fate.

 

"I didn't even get to tell him." Louis hid his face on Gemma's stomach.

 

"It's gonna be okay."

 

It was far from okay when they told Louis he couldn't see him until the funeral then had cried in Anne's arms for almost two hours being her to forgive him for killing her son while the rest took turns staying with Logan who wouldn't stop asking for her daddies crying everytime she was told she couldn't see them yet. The next day both Louis and her were released from the hospital and after they got home he immediately took her and the dog locking himself in his bedroom with them and laid down in bed with the two of them and one of Harry's hoodies that still smelled of him.

 

He sung to Logan until she fell asleep for her afternoon nap in Louis' arms while he silently cried knowing he was back to raising not only one but two kids by himself deciding to find a job as an art teacher somewhere because there was no way he would be able to model or do photoshoots while pregnant and teaching was the safest way to go even though he never picked up a brush in four years and a drama teacher was what he had gone to school for. He still had to wait until it was born but while he waited he could start looking and try to move on even if it killed him realizing he couldn't and would never move on.

 

"You and your baby brother or sister are gonna be okay...I promise. I'll make sure you never forget daddy." Louis kissed her forehead then put a hand over his stomach letting the tears fall down. "I'm sorry he won't be there to welcome you but I will, I love you and I'm sure he would've loved you too. I love you both."

 

The day of the funeral Zayn called Anna and Logan was left a crying mess clinging to Louis' leg not wanting to let him go until Brian and David showed up leaving Alex to keep her company while they attended the funeral and the burial. Louis thought he would be able to handle watching how they lowered him down into that black hole, he thought he would be able to handle losing him again and this time for good but in that moment he finally felt the walls he had built crumbling down one by one not wanting to lose him. He looked around seeing Gemma, Anne and Robin hugging each other silently crying then Liam who couldn't hold back the tears and was being held by Eleanor surrounded by his own family that had showed up while Zayn and Niall stood by Jay and Mark.

 

"Noo..." Louis whispered watching Harry's casket disappearing and catching Zayn's attention.

 

"Lou..." Zayn mumbled letting go of Niall watching with wide eyes as Louis dropped the flowers he was carrying and ran towards the grave.

 

"No please! Stop it...He doesn't want to be in there he's just sleeping. Please stop!" Louis sobbed pulling on one of the gravedigger's arm to get him to stop.

 

"Louis he's gone, he's gone." Zayn cried trying to pull him back.

 

Jay, Anne, Gemma and Eleanor cried harder trying to go to a hysterical Louis but Liam got there first trying to get him away from the grave being careful with him while Louis thrashed in his and Zayn's arms begging them to let him go because Harry needed him. He felt himself being carried away from Harry then felt his mother's warm arms around him trying to console him calming down but as soon as Zayn and Liam let go he got up and tried to run back to him only to be stopped by both men as he began to kick and scream. He stopped screaming when he felt a sharp pain on his stomach leaving him gasping for air then thick wetness on the back his pants followed by it running down his leg, he looked down touching the back of his thigh lifting his hand up again to see his fingers covered in dark red blood then let out a blood curling scream once again feeling darkness engulfing him.

 

~*~

 

"Louis? Baby please wake up." 

 

Louis slowly opened his eyes flinching at the bright light feeling warm hands holding his own noticing his mother with red rimmed eyes looking back at him looking relieved when all the memories of what had happened came back, his hands immediately moved to his stomach trying to feel a bump, anything then began crying when he couldn't. He never got to feel a bump or feel it move and kick.

 

"Mum...my - my baby." Louis sobbed.

 

"The baby's okay Lou, your baby's fine and..." Jay rushed to tell him but Louis interrupted.

 

"He's gone mum, Harry's gone. He - he promised he would never leave me and he did." Louis said finally accepting he was gone.

 

"Louis no...Harry's not - Harry's alive. He's still here...in a coma but he's still here." Jay said running her fingers through Louis' hair.

 

"Please don't lie to me, he was being buried and I almost lost our baby trying to stop them." Louis' bottom lip trembled as more tears rolled down his temples.

 

"You must've been dreaming sweetheart because Harry's still alive...He did died for a few minutes but after you passed out his heart started beating again. They - they don't have an explanation for it but all that matters is that all four of you are okay."

 

"You're not lying?" Louis mumbled.

 

"I would never lie to you baby, never."

 

"Could you - could you hug me...please." Louis said and as soon as he was in her arms he cried louder feeling relieved that it had all been just a dream or more like a nightmare. "I want to see him, mum please I want to see him." Louis let go of her trying to get up.

 

"We have to wait until Dr. Lane tells you it's okay to get up, you hit the side of your stomach when you fell and she just wants to make sure both of you are okay." Jay calmly explained not wanting to upset him.

 

"What time is it? How did you find out I'm pregnant again?" Louis asked.

 

"It's ten in the morning. You slept the whole night and you left the ultrasound picture and Harry's jacket behind...Anne and I saw it and Zayn told the doctors you're pregnant." Jay said smiling a little.

 

"Everyone knows?" Louis asked as the sadness crept up to him because he wanted Harry to be the first to know.

 

"Logan and your sisters don't know yet. We figured that once Harry wakes up and you tell him both of you would want to tell Logan about her new brother or sister."

 

"If he wakes up..." Louis muttered trying not to cry again.

 

"He'll wake up Lou, you'll see. He's a fighter and I don't think he'll break the promise he made to you." Jay smiled kissing his forehead.

 

"How's Logan?"

 

"She's with Mark and Robin and Anne and Gemma are with Harry. She was crying for you and Harry earlier today but Eleanor and the boys went to take care of the dog and brought you clean clothes and a coloring book for her before they left for work. Her doctor said if everything keeps going well she might be able to go home tomorrow and you can go after your doctor makes sure you're okay." Jay explained.

 

"No, I'm not going home until Harry does. You - you could watch her while I stay here with him." Louis said set on staying.

 

"You know that's not possible Louis and you have to think about your kids, it could be weeks before he wakes up again." Jay insisted.

 

"I don't want him to be alone or miss this pregnancy." Louis said accepting the cup of water his mother handed him.

 

"He won't sweetheart."

 

After Dr. Lane had given him the okay and a new ultrasound picture Louis immediately changed into clean clothes and went to see Harry getting annoyed that he had to use a wheelchair. On the way there he noticed both Gemma and Anne coming out of the room and after hugging them tight Gemma helped him inside and left him alone with Harry to give him space and time alone with him. Harry almost looked the same except that he was now hooked up to millions of cables and still had the tube down his throat, he slowly got up to stand next to him crying once again lightly stroking his cheek with his thumb.

 

"I - I thought I lost you Haz...it - it felt so real. You have to wake up...You can't miss the birth of our baby. I forgive you Harry, I forgave you the moment you came back out with her in your arms and now all you have to do is wake up so we can be the proper family you've always wanted. The family I've always wanted, don't think you're getting out of this one because you're stuck with all three of us and I won't ever let you leave. Never." Louis carefully kissed his forehead then grabbed Harry's hand placing it on his stomach underneath his shirt. "There's isn't a bump there yet but there will be one soon and then we'll be able to feel it kick in three months or so."

 

He stayed with him until noon talking to him about anything then Anne and Jay forced him out to get something to eat and after he was done he went straight to see Logan. From the door he could see she no longer had the oxygen mask on and was sitting up on her knees to be able to reach her food while Mark had her drink on his hands knowing she would spill it and Robin kept an eye on the IV on her hand. He gently knocked on the door then walked in earning their attention quickly going to his daughter when she tried to get up to go to him.

 

"Hi baby, how are you?" Louis asked her wrapping his arms around her kissing her temple noticing her blanket and teddy bear by the pillow.

 

"Good. We all go home now?" Logan asked kissing his cheek then the tip of her nose.

 

"Maybe tomorrow. Thanks for staying with her." Louis looked at his father and Robin.

 

"You don't have to thank us Lou. How are you and the little one?" Mark asked smiling a bit when Louis blushed.

 

"We're fine dad."

 

"You and Harry gave us a scare, first him and then you." Mark said getting up to hug him.

 

"I know I know and I'm sorry...but I'm fine now and I think Harry will be too."

 

"I'm gonna go see him. I'm so glad you both are fine and can't wait to hold it." Robin said gesturing to Louis' stomach then hugged him and Logan kissing her forehead before he left.

 

"I miss my curly." Logan sighed reaching for her jello.

 

"I know baby but we'll get to see him soon." Louis kissed her forehead trying to fix her curls.

 

"I was wrong about Harry...I thought he was going to leave you at some point but after what he did I'm convinced he really does love both of you and that he would do anything for you and her." Mark looked up at Louis. "I still think what he did to you was wrong but I'm willing to really give him a chance now."

 

"I forgave him dad, I - I saw him die and I couldn't do anything to help him." Louis confessed wiping a few tears then gave Logan a spoon taking the jello to open it for her.

 

"Must've been hard for you but he's okay now and he'll wake up soon." Mark gently squeezed his shoulder. 

 

Louis nodded then turned to look at Logan trying to eat the cherry jello smiling when she dropped a spoonful down to her lap and as he wiped it off he hoped for Harry to wake up soon because this time he wouldn't be able to handle him missing his pregnancy and the birth of their new baby he hoped was a boy and who he couldn't wait to meet and have in his arms but this time with Harry there for him and with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_meml8sDnk41r2bs3vo1_400_zps81f31d33.jpg.html)   
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> Thoughts? :)


	28. Yes I'm a sinner, yes I'm a saint*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to the song. :)
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> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wugCgvJVIxM

_Louis rushed behind Harry trying to catch up to him as the green eyed and cheerful thirteen year old boy ran to the hill just behind their houses only stopping to wait for him. Once Louis caught up to him still panting from the run Harry grabbed him by the hand and pulled him down with him rolling all the way down laughing and trying not to let go of each other until they stopped and stayed still next to each other looking up at the blue sky still holding hands._

_"Haz?" Louis mumbled pushing the hair out of his eyes with his free hand._

_"Yeah Lou?" Harry answered tightening his grip on the smaller boy's hand._

_"What do you want to be when you grow up?"_

_"I don't know yet. What do you want to be when you grow up?" Harry asked turning to look at Louis._

_"I like painting and showing my sisters how to do it so maybe an art teacher." Louis smiled widely, "You told me you like photography so maybe you could be a photographer."_

_"Yeah, maybe I'll do that. Thanks Lou, you're the best." Harry smiled showing the dimples Louis already loved so much because they meant Harry was happy and if he was happy so was he._

Louis sighed remembering the happy days when both of them had nothing to worry about other than what ice cream flavor they were going to get next or what prank were they going to pull on Gemma to make her scream her head off. He took a seat next to Harry's bed feeling well rested after he was forced to go back to his flat and sleep while Gemma stayed the night with Logan and as soon as he had woken up he took a shower and ate the breakfast his mum had prepared for him. When he had gotten to the hospital that morning with his and Harry's parents he was happy because Logan got to go home but couldn't help feeling sad that Harry was still in a coma and had to stay behind, now that it was almost six Logan had gone home with the rest earlier that day leaving him behind with Harry until six thirty when visiting hours were over.

"Logan got to go home today love and we're just waiting for you to wake up so I can take you home with me. We can talk about it when you wake up but I'm gonna move some of your stuff to my flat because I don't want you to go back there on your own, I hope you don't mind me going through your stuff." Louis smiled kissing his hand.

He started with him telling him all about the things they had done and had gotten in trouble for when they were younger then talked about all the things they needed to get for their baby hoping for them to be blue instead of pink then decided he didn't care as long as he or she was healthy.

"I have to go but I'll come see you tomorrow. I love you babe." Louis got up kissing his forehead then after a pause lightly pecked his lips and left feeling a lump in his throat for leaving him to spend the night alone once again.

"Daddy! My curly with you?" Logan ran to Louis jumping up and down to be picked up and once he did she looked over his shoulder while Anne gave her a sad look.

"Not yet sweety but soon he will and he's gonna give you a good cuddle and lots of kisses." Louis smiled hugging her close to him rubbing her small back.

"And we watch movies and play all day?" Logan asked trying to rub his back too.

"Mhm." Louis smiled then kissed the side of her head that now smelled of strawberries taking a seat next to Anne, "Thank you so much for watching her Anne. Where's everybody else?"

"Gemma, Robin and Mark had to go back home for work and told me to tell you they'll come see you in a few days. Jay is out grocery shopping, you're almost out of food." Anne smiled wrapping an arm around Louis' shoulder just as he set Logan down so she could keep coloring on her book.

"Yeah...Harry and I always go Sundays." Louis leaned into her side trying not to cry again.

"He'll wake up soon love, you'll see and then he's gonna be here picking out baby names for my new grandbaby. Have you thought of any names? I know it's a bit early but have you?" Anne asked moving back to look at Louis who was now smiling a little.

"If it's a girl I like Leighton and of course what Harry likes and...and if it's a boy I want to name him what Harry has always wanted to name his son." Louis looked down smiling.

"I remember. He always used to talk about it, its a beautiful name." Anne gave him a one armed hug.

"I named her Hunter because it starts with an H and when we were younger I promised him I would name my future child like that because it starts with the same letter as his." Louis told her then hugged her when her eyes began watering.

"And you kept your promise Lou, you always kept your promises and I'm sorry he broke his own and if you ever forgive him-"

"I already did...A- Anne he died in front of me and then I dreamt we had to bury him and I lost the baby, I forgave him when he got out of that building holding her and I realized I can't live without him and I want us to raise our kids like a proper happy family where no one has to forgive the other for wrong past doings." Louis confessed.

That night Louis slept in Logan's room while Anne and his mother slept in his bedroom not wanting to let Anne go to sleep at Harry's place all by herself after everything she was doing for them. He spent the rest of the week staying with Logan in the mornings while Anne visited Harry then going to see him until later or until he had to go back home to eat, shower, sleep then get up the next morning to do it all over again. Whenever he visited he always made sure to tell him everything Logan did and tell him all the little messages she would send to him and when it was time for him to go he would always grab Harry's hand and place it over his now nine week belly aware that there wasn't a bump yet but he still wanted Harry to feel it too. Now that he was pregnant again he sometimes wondered what his life would've been like if Harry hadn't stopped him that night when he was going to give himself to Jacob knowing he would still have a kid but it wouldn't be Harry's child.

~*~

_Louis remembered it well, he remembered how he had stayed quiet throughout the whole way home staring down at Jacob's blood splattered all over his gray t-shirt as Harry tightly gripped the steering wheel. He dared himself to look up at Harry seeing his lips pressed into a tight thin line and eyebrows furrowed in anger then his eyes traveled down to his bloody knuckles knowing what they were capable of and what had they done to his boyfriend probably ex boyfriend starting tomorrow. He felt sorry for Jacob knowing how hard Harry could hit with the hands that once held his, the hands that once caressed his skin. He looked out the window thinking that if Harry hadn't interrupted them, beat Jacob up then dragged him by the arm out of his room and house then he would've lost his virginity to Jacob but like always Harry had managed to interrupt them._

_"Get out...and you better go home." Harry said startling Louis who realized they were in front of their houses, "Are you deaf? Get the fuck out of my car and go home!"_

_"P- Please don't hurt h- him again...beat me all y- you want but leave Jake alone." Louis stuttered then tried to get out of the car as fast as he could when he saw anger and what he imagined was hurt crossing Harry's expression but he had already locked the doors trapping him inside._

_"Why should I listen to you, huh? You want me to leave him alone so he can fuck you tomorrow and the day after that? Fucking answer me!" Harry yelled hating the thought of Jacob touching his Louis._

_"N- no, no one deserves that. He doesn't deserve all those punches." Louis tried to hold back the tears._

_"He does...and so do you!" Harry yelled grabbing Louis by the shirt pulling him closer to him to where their lips were almost touching and Louis' eyes filled with tears, "I'm not gonna let that ass hole touch you...you both disgust me."_

_"H- Harry...y- you're hurting m- me." Louis stuttered feeling his lips trembling then the tears finally falling down his cheeks._

_"Go home."_

_Harry pushed him away and Louis wasted no time getting out of the car and running towards his house full speed never looking back, never seeing the hurt flashing through Harry's face and the single tear rolling down his cheek much less feeling the ache Harry felt in his chest and heart but couldn't do anything about it terrified of being himself knowing what would happen._

~*~

The following Monday when Louis was almost ten weeks along and Harry still showed no signs of waking up Anne and his mother had to go home for a few days leaving him and Logan alone forcing him to only visit Harry half the time he was used to. He used that time to spend more time with his daughter trying to distract her away from Harry when she kept asking when was daddy going to comeback then had cried and literally had a meltdown on the kitchen floor wanting to know if he didn't love her anymore to which Louis quickly denied telling her he loved her very much but couldn't be with them at the moment.

"It's been almost two weeks Harry...just please wake up. Please." Louis begged holding onto his hand starting to get desperate.

He stayed by Harry's side never letting go of his hand while a therapist gently exercised his legs to keep them from losing muscle mass even though he was starting to as well as mobility when he felt it yet said nothing trying to keep himself from hoping too much only to receive disappointment later on. He nearly jumped out of his seat when he felt Harry lightly squeezing his hand trying to figure out if he had imagined it because of his desperation.

"Is there something wrong Mr. Tomlinson?" The therapist asked covering Harry's legs with the white bedsheets.

"He- He squeezed my hand...I swear he did." Louis said trying not to cry out of happiness.

"I'll get Dr. Summers."

***

"Good news Louis." Dr. Summers said after examining Harry while Louis waited sitting in one corner of the room.

"Is he gonna wake up soon?" Louis asked.

"He's starting to respond to stimuli and slowly come out of the coma, what you felt was probably a muscle spasm due that he's trying to wake up. Make sure you talk to him, he can probably hear you."

"Oh thank God."

Louis walked back to Harry's side and started talking to him again avoiding talking about the baby not wanting to freak him out in case Harry could hear him and remember it later on. Jay, Gemma and Anne had promised to get there as soon as they could not wanting to miss it in case Harry woke up after Louis had called them to tell them the good news going to bed that night to be well rested to visit Harry again the next day.

~*~*~*~

_Bright orange hot flames devouring everything on their path was all Harry could see as he desperately searched for his and Louis' daughter trying to ignore the heat and the smoke making his eyes sting and breathing difficult. He covered his nose and mouth with his sleeves as he looked for her wherever he could letting the tears roll down his cheeks not wanting to lose her, he had gone four years without her, had missed her birth and wasn't and wouldn't let himself and Louis go the rest of their lives without her._

_"Logan! Baby its daddy!" Harry shouted going into a coughing fit then nearly whispered the next words holding back a sob. "It's your curly, Logan..."_

_He pushed a chair out of the way just as he heard faint coughing coming from under a table right in front of him then her faint cries calling for daddy then her curly and without thinking or watching where he was going ran over to her nearly screaming in pain when his cheek made contact with the flames trying to get to her. He sobbed in relief when he saw her curled up under a table after lifting the tablecloth and began coughing having inhaled more smoke without meaning to._

_"Daddy!" Logan sobbed reaching for him as he took his jacket off to cover her up and keep her from inhaling more smoke._

_"Shh...I'm here, I'm here baby. Daddy's gotcha, I gotcha and you're gonna be okay." Harry kissed her forehead quickly wrapping the jacket around her thankful that it was big enough to cover her entire body then picked her up holding her close to his chest._

_He coughed then tried to protect himself as much as he could desperately looking for an exit tightening his grip on Logan who had a tight grip on his shirt with her small fists then ran towards one of the exits wanting to cry when the door didn't open. He turned around to look for another exit trying not to panic and breathe too much already feeling his lungs burning realizing he didn't have much time left when he started seeing less and less. He felt his lips trembling with fear seeing no escape not wanting his baby girl to die a horrible death along with him and leave Louis alone thinking he was a failure who didn't fought enough to save her. He held in a scream when the flames got too close burning his forearms as he scrambled away from them._

_Tightening his grip he ran towards another door near the kitchen trying to open it and hating himself for what he was about to do he set Logan down covering her face with the jacket as she screamed not wanting to let go of him. He began kicking the door trying to open it ignoring and not caring if he was breathing in all the smoke when all he wanted was to get her out as soon as possible. Once he heard the door cracking he kicked harder until he managed to break it open then as fast as he could he picked her up and ran out of the building just as he heard the windows shattering and saw big pieces of glass landing just where they had been standing. He fell down to his knees with her still in his arms trying to breathe as he coughed feeling agonizing pain on his cheek and forearms making him want to vomit doing so when the zipper of the jacket made contact with his forearm._

_With shaky legs he got up and limped towards where he had left Louis when he had run inside to get her still coughing and feeling dizzy and a headache coming in. He could see Louis running up to them making him walk faster ignoring the burning in his lungs until he couldn't breathe anymore slowly asphyxiating then everything went darker and the only thing he could do was tighten his grip on Logan not wanting to ever let her go again._

_When he opened his eyes he found himself back in his childhood bedroom gasping and feeling the tears streaming down his face when he saw them knowing it wasn't real because as much as he wanted it that never had happened then let out a sob realizing he was dead. He looked behind him seeing a bright white light making him feel at peace with himself when a sinner like him shouldn't feel peaceful at all then looked back to his bed where both eighteen year old Louis and himself were sleeping with a tiny and beautiful baby girl and Louis' head resting on his chest and his arms around both of them. He observed them noticing how happy and relaxed both of them looked until he felt it was time and slowly walked up to them and gently kissed the small baby who had her eyes closed and eighteen year old Harry's index finger tightly in her tiny fist. He whispered a small I love you then kissed Louis' forehead telling him how sorry he was and how he would always love him before he backed away and turning around he began walking into the light stopping when he heard them._

_After countless times of him watching those videos Louis had given him he knew he would recognize those cries if given the chance of hearing them in real life and not caring he ran back towards the bed where he and Louis were now gone having left her alone in the middle of the bed. He then picked her up feeling his chest hurting with happiness when he finally got to feel her tiny body move in his arms but out of nowhere he was back to holding four year old Logan as he sank down to his knees and once again lost consciousness and that time for a longer time._

~*~

His eyes slowly fluttered open only to close them again to avoid the harsh bright light hearing an annoying beep and feeling something uncomfortable down his throat and somebody holding his hand. He slowly moved his free hand around searching for Logan who he was sure was still on top of his chest since he never let go of her then his eyes widened and began to panic when he couldn't feel her anywhere near him wanting to get up and look for her but unable to. Louis had his head resting by Harry's hand holding onto it when he felt movement and slowly lifted his head quickly sitting up when he saw Harry wide awake looking around with frightened eyes and called for anyone when Harry tried to get up trying to speak but no words would come out due to the tube he had down his throat.

"Harry! Love you have to- you have to calm down." Louis desperately tried to hold him down to keep him from hurting himself.

"L- Lo..." Harry tried to speak as his eyes began to sting with tears trying to figure out where she was.

Louis began crying when Harry's heart rate started increasing feeling his hold on his forearms tightening and his eyes filling with tears that rolled down to his temples as he pleaded with his eyes.

"She's okay, Logan's okay." Louis nearly yelled trying to calm him down.

He let go of him when one of the male nurses held him down while a female one injected what he guessed was a sedative into his IV then watched him as he slowly closed his eyes still trying to reach for him until his hand went limp. He was asked to leave the room so they could take the oxygen tube out and when he was allowed back in he was no longer attached to the ventilator or had the tube in, the only things left on him where the bandages where he had burned himself knowing they weren't going to leave a scar after talking to Dr. Summers. Louis kissed his forehead before stepping outside to call everybody to tell them the great news then called Anna asking her if she could stay a little bit longer with Logan telling her why happy that she quickly agreed.

The next time Harry woke up it was almost four hours later and just as he was starting to panic he noticed Louis sitting on recliner next to his bed asleep and holding his hand, he looked around trying to figure out how long he had been asleep for since the fire seeing Louis wearing different clothes and the sun high in the sky sneaking in through the blinds. Figuring out he had slept the whole night and part of the day he moved his hands around noticing white bandages on his forearms then lifted his hands up to touch his face feeling two more on his cheek and temple.

"Harry? Harry!"

A crying Louis rushed to him and began running his fingers through his greasy hair then moved to get water helping him drink small amounts until he couldn't drink anymore. He was starting to get confused when Louis kept staring at him like he couldn't believe he was there then swallowed a bit of saliva before he began speaking flinching at how rough his voice sounded.

"Lou...Logan?" Harry asked reaching for Louis' hand wanting to know if she was okay.

"She's okay, thanks to you she's okay and right now she's home with Anna." Louis kissed his forehead.

"So soon? The- The fire was just last night and I thought they were going to- to keep her here more time." Harry struggled to explain watching as Louis swallowed rather nervously.

"Haz...what's- what's today's date?" Louis asked trying not to panic.

"Friday. The fire- the fire happened last night. Louis?" Harry answered starting to get more confused.

"I'll explain but I need you to stay calm okay?" Louis said then began speaking when Harry nodded, "That night you went into a- a coma then cardiac arrest and I- I thought you were dead but you weren't...you've been in a coma for- for two weeks." Louis explained waiting for Harry to freak out.

"But- but Logan's okay right?"

"Yeah she's fine...we were just waiting for you to wake up."

"Louis...why- why can't I move my legs?" Harry whispered as the tears began rolling down his face.

"I'm gonna go get the doctor." Louis panicked running out of the room.

~*~

"Just what I thought. He lost some of the mobility on his legs due to the carbon monoxide poisoning and lack of movement but with therapy he'll be back to normal." Dr. Summers said making Louis' shoulders sag in relief.

"How long do you think it will take? I want to go home." Harry said shifting around a bit.

"It all depends on you but we also have to keep you here for a few more days to monitor your heart and make sure everything's okay."

"I'm okay, I want to go home." Harry stubbornly said.

"Harry...you can't go home yet." Louis sighed getting up to stand next to Harry's bed.

"I don't want to be here anymore and I want to see Logan...Lou is been two weeks and I just want to see her." Harry nearly begged grabbing his hand.

"If we're allowed I'll go get her so you can see her but you have to stay here." Louis said moving Harry's long hair out of his forehead.

After Dr. Summers agreed Louis left to get Logan leaving Harry getting a bit cleaned up, on his way home he called Anne and Jay as well as his friends to tell them he was fully awake now then called Anna to ask her to get Logan ready. He picked her up without telling where they were going making sure to pack a bag with her blanket, water, a few toys and snacks in case she got hungry while she carried her teddy bear in one arm holding hands with Louis who after that night always held her hand tighter preventing her from letting go.

"Where we going daddy?" Logan asked recognizing the hospital hallways.

"It's a surprise baby." Louis smiled down at her then picked her up as soon as they were outside Harry's new room and lightly knocked on the door hearing a muffled 'come in' before he opened the door.

By the looks of it someone had helped him take a shower and the only thing he had left on was the IV and the bandages yet he still looked a bit pale and tired, he watched his smile getting bigger but soon disappeared when Logan hid her face on the crook of Louis' neck holding onto him tighter wrapping her legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

"It's daddy, he wants to give you hug and lots of kisses. Didn't you say you wanted to cuddle him." Louis tried to get her to come out then settled for putting her down on the bed next to Harry seeing the pout on her lips telling him she was going to cry then Harry quickly hugged her thankful that she was okay tightening his grip when she burst out crying.

"Don't cry baby, I love you...daddy loves you so much." Harry kissed her forehead over and over again while she stared at the bandages with wide green/blue eyes.

"Daddy!" She cried grabbing Harry's hospital grown with her small hands letting go of her bear.

"Don't cry bug it's okay, we're okay." Harry smiled pulling Louis into the hug.

"You want to play with me?" She innocently asked reaching for her bag grabbing Kelly and Valerie.

"I would love to." Harry smiled taking the usual doll.

After Louis had ordered something light for Harry to eat and food for Logan and himself and spending more time with him he wanted to tell him about the baby but decided to do it once he was home in the privacy of their bedroom then left promising to come back the next day. The next two weeks were a blur for Louis who found himself already at twelve weeks and showing a bit worried that Harry would notice something was different, he tried to hide the tiny bump that happened to be a bit bigger than it had been at twelve weeks when he was pregnant with Logan but it was getting difficult since Harry liked to rest his head on it and wrap his arms around him.

Two days after Harry had come out of the coma Anne, Gemma, and Robin had visited spending the whole day with him after Anne had cried refusing to let him go bringing Logan into the hug happy and thankful that she still had her babies trying not to talk about the new baby. Liam and Eleanor had visited a day after that surprisingly holding hands until Liam let go of her to hug Harry for ten minutes straight scolding him and telling him to never ever do that to him again which to Harry responded by hugging him again. When Niall and Zayn visited later that day it had been going great until Zayn asked Harry if they could talk alone and Louis was forced to leave them alone even if he didn't want to, a few minutes later they were allowed back in and later that day after the couple were gone Harry explained to Louis that all Zayn wanted was to thank him for saving his cupcake.

The days after that Harry spent them in therapy trying to move his legs again and build muscle mass until he started walking slowly but on his own, the bandages were finally removed leaving a bit of scarring but he was told that with the right care they would go away soon. Harry wished he could go back home with them every time visiting hours were over since every time they had to go Logan would always throw a fit wanting to stay with Harry and go night night with him. The day Harry got to go home Louis was excited and a nervous mess while cleaning the house scolding Logan for making a mess where he had just cleaned, and since that was the day Harry would know he was going to be a father again it wasn't helping. As soon as he had arrived at the hospital he left Logan with Harry and excused himself telling him he had to go talk to Dr. Summers but he only wanted a new ultrasound picture to be able to tell Harry they were expecting again and after Dr. Lane gave it to him wishing him good luck he made his way back to pick them up.

~*~

"Welcome back." Louis smiled opening the door to his flat after explaining to Harry that there was no way he would go back to his flat all alone and that he had already moved the necessary things he would need over to his.

"Finally." Harry smiled back sitting down on the couch wrapping his arms around Logan after she had climbed on his lap to cuddle him like she had promised on the way back.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something light to eat." Louis asked sitting next to him.

"No thank you, I'm not hungry yet." Harry said resting his head on his shoulder while Louis stared down at his tiny delicate bump knowing that since it was his second pregnancy he was going to start showing earlier.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked wrapping an arm around him.

"I just missed you...that's all." Louis said fighting hard not to cry but ended up crying his eyes out. Damn hormones, he thought.

"Daddy no crying." Logan yawned snuggling closer to Harry reaching to wipe Louis' tears away with her thumb while Harry kissed his temple.

"I'm okay baby. Ready to go to bed?" Louis asked getting ready to take her to bed deciding to skip the bath since it had been a long day and she looked ready to pass out.

"Night daddies, love you." Logan mumbled as soon as she was in bed.

"Night sweety, I love you more." Louis kissed her forehead waiting for Harry.

"Night bug and I love you too." He smiled kissing her hand then turned off the light following Louis back to his bedroom.

After Harry was already in bed waiting for Louis he quickly changed into sweatpants and a loose t-shirt then brushed his teeth grabbing the ultrasound picture from his jacket on the way out. He smiled when Harry opened his arms for him as soon as he saw him and slowly got on the bed next to him facing him and his stomach pressed up against Harry's hoping for him to feel the bump. Harry only kissed him then whispered a tiny goodnight before going to sleep waking up when Louis turned around to turn on the light and grabbed the picture then stayed on his back studying it.

"What's that?" Harry asked placing a hand on Louis' stomach underneath his t-shirt gently rubbing small circles.

"Take a look." Louis smiled giving him the picture watching as he smiled widely.

"Is it Logan's?" He asked looking at the picture smiling until he saw the year printed as 2014 and not 2010 noticing it was also today's date.

He froze when he felt the small bump underneath his hand then began moving his hand around feeling it was hard then took a deep breath preparing himself to ask what he already knew looking at Louis in shock.

"Lou...are you- are you pregnant?"

"Y- yeah." Louis nodded chewing on his bottom lip.

"Twelve weeks? All this time you've been pregnant and you never told me. Oh God..." Harry said in disbelief taking one more look at the picture.

"I found out four weeks ago and I was going to tell you that day at the restaurant but I couldn't." Louis explained then began crying when Harry struggled to get up.

"Harry? Harry where are you going you can't leave me now. You promised." Louis cried then stopped when Harry walked over to the side of his bed and knelt down next to him and carefully lifted his shirt up getting on eye level with his stomach.

"Is it okay? It's not hurt is it?" Harry whisper asked.

"It's completely healthy and strong." Louis answered watching as Harry looked at it in wonder as his eyes filled with tears then a watery smile began making an appearance getting bigger and bigger.

"Hi baby, you don't know me yet...I'm Harry. I'm your other daddy, you probably can't hear me yet...Lou can the baby hear me?" Harry asked looking up at Louis with wide curious eyes.

"Not yet babe." Louis chuckled running his fingers through Harry's curls making him look younger after getting a haircut.

"Doesn't matter if you can't hear me yet baby, I just want you to know that I love you already and can't wait to hold you. Hopefully I won't drop you." Harry smiled kissing the tiny bump he already was so in love with, "You have no idea how happy I am Lou."

"You're not mad then?" Louis asked in a small voice.

"Of course not, I thought I wasn't ready but now that she's in there all warm and comfortable I can't wait to meet her." Harry lay down next to him kissing him and began rubbing their bump rather lovingly.

"She? You think it's a girl?" Louis asked.

"I have a feeling but it doesn't matter, we're all gonna love him or her so much and Logan's gonna be the best big sister ever." Harry beamed with happiness.

"If it's a girl can we name her Leighton?" Louis pouted.

"Leighton...Leighton Grace?" Harry also pouted making Louis' heart melt.

"Anything you want." Louis pecked his lips.

"And if it's a boy?"

"Evan." Louis smiled seeing how Harry's face turned into one of surprise.

"You still remember how I've always wanted to name our son?" Harry smiled.

"Our?" Louis raised his eyebrows in confusion.

"I told you I wanted to name him Evan but I didn't tell you I wanted to adopt a baby boy after marrying you and now we don't need to adopt." Harry blushed.

"Y- You wanted to marry me and adopt a baby since you were fourteen?" Louis started tearing up again.

"Yeah...I already had our whole wedding planned out Spider-Man themed but then...that happened." Harry looked down and when Louis saw his lips trembling he couldn't hold it anymore.

"I forgive you, I forgave you that night of the fire when I thought I had lost you." Louis confessed making Harry let out a sob.

"N- No you didn't, you- " Harry was interrupted by Louis' lips on his own.

"I did, I know you love me, you love our kids and you're not gonna hurt me again so please believe me. Please." Louis pleaded.

Harry looked into his sincere blue eyes that were no longer cold and icy but warm and full of life and love then saw it on his face and knew Louis would never lie to him, he took a deep breath and slowly nodded feeling some of the heavy weight being lifted off of his shoulders.

"I love you angel...thank you." He whispered kissing his temple smiling when Louis kissed his hand and that's all he needed to do for Harry to know he loved him too. All his life and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/PicsArt_1398816814755_zps6844fcd7.jpg.html)   
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> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/PicsArt_1398816814755_zps6844fcd7.jpg
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> Sorry for the late update guys, I hope you liked this chapter. 
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> Thoughts? :)


	29. My heart, your heart sit tight like book ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be updated last night but my mom turned the WiFi off and I couldn't finish it. This is mostly dialogue but I hope you like it. Enjoy! :)

That Saturday morning Louis slowly opened his eyes hearing the faint cries coming from Logan's room and as fast as he could he got up untangling Harry's arms from around his stomach where his baby bump was fully exposed. He rubbed his eyes and walked out of his room and into Logan's seeing the dog sleeping under the bed and Logan sitting at the foot of the bed crying her eyes out and a wet patch on the mattress where she had been sleeping. He looked at her clock on top of her dresser groaning because it was still four in the morning and now that she was awake there was no way she would want to go back to sleep ever since the fire happened and now he had to wash the bedsheets for the second time that week. Without saying anything he gently took her pajama bottoms off then her shirt before he picked her up shushing her and kissing her forehead grabbing her towel on his way to the bathroom to give her a bath. Once it was ready he began to clean her up relaxing at the fact that her bed had a waterproof pad after his mother recommended he start using one as soon as she was potty trained and had ditched the diapers, he tried to hurry up to dress her up and leave her with Harry so he could wash her bedsheets and clean up.

 

"Why are you giving her a bath this early?" Harry mumbled from the door half asleep and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes startling Louis.

 

"She wet the bed and she didn't take a bath last night so I might as well do it now, this is the second time it happens." Louis explained rinsing off the shampoo suds from her hair.

 

"I'll go clean it up." Harry walked to her bedroom before Louis could say something else.

 

By the time Logan was comfortable and warm in a new pair of pajamas Harry had the dirty bedsheets in the washer and new ones all set up so she could go back to sleep but as soon as Louis set her down on it she began crying again pulling on his shirt wanting to be picked up again not stopping until he did. With her wrapped around him like a koala he walked back to his bedroom followed by Harry who made sure to put some softener on the bedsheets before laying down next to them with her in the middle still clinging to Louis letting out tiny hiccups here and there.

 

"This is the second time she does it?" Harry asked fixing the damp curls on the back of her head.

 

"Yeah, she did it Monday and now today." Louis answered kissing her hand.

 

"Why didn't you say anything, what if it's because of the fire...we need to take her to a psychologist." Harry began to panic wrapping his arms over both of them.

 

"Let's wait a bit and if it doesn't stop then we'll take her."

 

"Okay. Hey...when's your next appointment? I want to go with you and see our little peanut." Harry smiled so big his face might split in two.

 

"In a month, like around my sixteenth or seventeenth week. So it's our little peanut now?" Louis asked grabbing his hand intertwining their fingers together.

 

"That's so far away from now." Harry pouted making Louis chuckle. "and yup, it's our little peanut now. I just decided last night."

 

"Mkay then. She's asleep again so we should sleep too." Louis closed his eyes opening them again when he heard Harry gasping.

 

"Lou, where's the baby going to sleep?"

 

"Well...when Logan was born I bought one of those baby bassinets and she slept in there next to my bed then after that I bought a crib doing the same arrangement, we slept in the same room until she was two and I moved out with her into our own flat. I think that's what I'm gonna do with this one and that way we'll be close if peanut needs something." Louis explained feeling Harry's warm hand resting on his stomach.

 

"What about when it gets older." Harry asked.

 

"What about it?" Louis asked confused.

 

"Where's peanut going to sleep?"

 

"Harry I think you're thinking way ahead, I mean, we don't even know the sex yet or a specific due date."

 

"Yeah I know but just hear me out okay. I know it's way too soon and its okay if you don't want to but I think we should get a bigger place...like an actual house big enough for us and a big backyard." Harry slowly said waiting for Louis to say something.

 

"You want us to move in together into a new house? What about your flat or this one?" Louis asked.

 

"We sell them." Harry shrugged then continued when Louis said nothing. "We could wait a few years after peanut's born but just imagine all that space Logan's gonna have and she will actually be able to ride a bike...cause I kind of already got her one."

 

"Harry Styles you got her a bike without telling me? Please tell me you at least got her one for her age and with training wheels, she's never used a bike in her life." Louis said wanting to get up to look at Harry but half of Logan's body was on top of him.

 

"It's for her age and I also bought all the necessary stuff for her to safely ride it, I just want her to have fun not decapitate her." Harry said.

 

"Harry!" Louis smacked him on the side before Harry could stop him.

 

"I was joking babe, you know I'll never let anything bad happen to her or the baby."

 

"I know. I'm tired...let's just hope she stops." Louis sighed then a few minutes later they were both asleep.

 

Two weeks later Louis was already at fourteen weeks and just kept getting bigger and bigger making it more noticeable leaving strangers with no doubt that he was pregnant and his increased appetite wasn't helping at all. He had quit modeling and doing photoshoots for the time being telling Eric that maybe he was going to return once he was back in shape but wasn't sure since raising two kids was not an easy thing to do. He felt it was time to tell Logan she was going to be a big sister when he was trying to grab something from one of the top shelves in the closet and his shirt pulled up a little showing his protruding belly. When he looked back at her he caught her staring at it with curious eyes trying to figure out what was wrong with it. He also felt it was necessary for him and Harry to choose their words carefully so they wouldn't scare her since she would still wet the bed but not as often as she used to ever since she had started going to a psychologist who had told them that her accidents were a result of the trauma she had gone through. That Sunday morning after they were done eating their breakfast he and Harry sat her down in the living room to tell her the great news.

 

"We have to tell you something love, they're great news." Louis began then continued when she gave him a blank look. "Remember when you told us you wanted a baby brother or sister?"

 

"Mhm, I want a baby brother like Cassandra." Logan nodded playing with the hem of her skirt.

 

"Well...right now there's a baby growing inside my tummy and he or she will be here by the time Santa comes." Louis explained as he and Harry waited for any kind of reaction.

 

"How did it get in there? Why can't it come out now?" Logan asked with wide eyes.

 

"It's still too little and needs to get bigger and stronger so it can come out and meet you." Harry explained from where he was sitting on the coffee table next to Louis and in front of Logan.

 

"But how did it get in there?" Logan insisted looking down at Louis' stomach.

 

"Well when two adults like daddy and I love each other so much they're able to create a baby, we love each other so much we made a baby inside my tummy." Louis explained hoping for it to be enough for her not wanting to talk to her about sex just yet.

 

"What's it doing in there? Daddy what if the baby's lonely and its dark in there." Logan gasped pouting a bit.

 

"The baby's safe and happy in there love, it's probably sleeping right now so don't you worry. You can touch it, it's okay." Louis smiled when she kept looking at it.

 

"I know! I can look at it through your belly button." Logan exclaimed getting down on her knees lifting Louis' shirt up.

 

"I'm afraid you can't bug, we gotta wait until it comes out." Harry smiled.

 

"Is it gonna poop and sleep all day long?" Logan asked drawing out the 'all' while she gently rubbed Louis' tummy.

 

"It will sleep a lot when it first gets here." Louis confirmed.

 

"Love you bubbie."

 

Both Louis and Harry's hearts warmed up at her first words to get baby brother or sister watching as she repeatedly kissed the baby bump she was already so in love with.

 

"We should go to the park." Harry announced earning cheers from Logan who got up and threw herself at him trying to wrap her arms around his waist but settled with grabbing the sides of his shirt.

 

"Okay but let me go change out of this." Louis said gesturing to his sweatpants and Harry's t-shirt. "Is it hot outside?"

 

"Not really but wear a thin jacket, don't want you getting sick."

 

Harry changed Logan into a long sleeved shirt and comfortable pants since he was planning on teaching her how to ride her new bike Toy Story themed he had gotten from the boys section at the toy store. He remembered how the woman who had sold her the bike had looked at him weird when he told her 'Logan' was his daughter and not his son then had offered to show him the princess bikes to which he politely declined saying he had already picked the one he wanted. He started getting worried when Louis was taking more than usual to change clothes leaving Logan to entertain herself with Buttercup while he went to check on him finding him sitting at the foot of the bed wiping his tears away with his sleeves and all the jeans he owned thrown around on the bed or on the floor.

 

"Lou what's wrong? Why aren't you dressed yet?" Harry asked kneeling down in front of him.

 

"They're all too tight...those stupid jeans won't fit anymore." Louis' voice trembled as well as his lips before he burst out crying again.

 

"Don't cry, I'm pretty sure we can find a pair that fits you." Harry tried to make him feel better since it was half his fault, he looked around trying to choose a pair.

 

"What part of they don't fit anymore don't you understand Harold! I already tried them all on and they're too tight, I'm getting too fat already and I'm not even halfway there." Louis complained looking like it was the end of the world.

 

"Maybe you're just bloated, I read it happens because of all the hormones and you're not fat okay. You look perfect and you're growing our baby." Harry said wiping his cheeks clean of tear tracks.

 

"You've been reading about pregnancy?" Louis asked then burst out crying again when Harry nodded. "I am fat Harry, I wasn't this big when I was pregnant with Logan around this time."

 

"Maybe this baby is bigger than her. C'mon love let's find you something to wear." Harry kissed him then grabbed his hand guiding him towards the closet where half of it was filled with his clothes.

 

Louis ended up wearing one of Harry's own basketball shorts and a long sleeved shirt not wanting it to feel too tight and uncomfortable then after grabbing one of the leftover pancakes they made their way to Harry's car while Louis ate it cold seeing Logan's new bike on the back while Harry buckled her up putting the dog next to her. As soon as they got to the park Logan squealed in delight when she saw her brand new bike hugging Harry knocking her head against his stomach then Louis more gently not wanting to hurt her bubbie while giving them a billion thank you's and kisses.

 

"Are you gonna take off the training wheels today?" Louis asked taking a seat on a bench while Harry picked her up to help her sit on it.

 

"Not today, I think when she's more familiar with it and a little bit older." Harry smiled then bent down a little too put her helmet on and tell her what to do. "You have to put your feet on the pedals and pedal like those kids so it moves."

 

After a few tries Logan finally got it down and began riding her bike in circles around Harry while Louis managed to buy a chocolate and strawberry sundae eating it while he sat back down laughing when Logan ran over one of Harry's foot with one of the training wheels. He would feed her ice cream every time she would pass by then leaned his head on Harry's shoulder when he took a seat next to him also feeding him then would move it to let Harry go after Logan every time she would go too far and not listen whenever Harry would call her back.

 

"Let go, daddy I won't go far. I promise." Logan whined trying to pry Harry's hand off of the bike.

 

"That's what you said last time and didn't listen, you have to stay close where I can see you or you don't get to ride it anymore. Got it?" Harry said letting go of the bike after she nodded.

 

"That was...so not you." Louis said fixing Harry's hair with his hand as soon as he had sat down next to him making him sigh and rest his head on his chest.

 

"I just don't want her to go too far away...someone could take her and I'm scared I won't get there on time to stop it." Harry wrapped his arm over Louis' stomach careful not to squeeze too hard.

 

"No one's gonna take her."

 

"You don't know that Lou." Harry mumbled then began talking to the baby in a silly baby voice making Louis' heart fill with happiness and love. "Good thing you're gonna be in there for a while or I'll have to chase you around too like your sister." He kissed it before sitting up straight wrapping his arm around Louis' waist rubbing small circles on Louis' side with his index finger.

 

"Zayn, Niall." Louis waved the couple over who was walking hand in hand.

 

"Hey guys. Where's my cupcake?" Zayn asked looking around for her.

 

"She's over there riding the new bike Harry got her." Louis smiled looking at Logan as both Zayn and Niall followed his gaze.

 

"I didn't know they have Toy Story themed bikes in the girls section...That's nice." Zayn smiled at Harry.

 

"They don't, I got it from the boys section. Should've seen the seller trying to convince me to take a princess bike instead of that one when I told her Logan was my daughter and not my son." Harry smirked getting ready to get up seeing Logan getting too far away from them.

 

"Why didn't you just got her the princess one?" Louis asked.

 

"It was too pink. Logan get back here." Harry shouted then got up running towards her when she looked back at him, giggled then continued pedaling away from him going faster the closer Harry got to her laughing her head off.

 

"That's hilarious." Niall laughed taking Harry's seat next to Louis.

 

"That was her last chance, wait till she comes back crying 'cause he won't let her ride it anymore." Louis sighed placing a hand over his protruding belly.

 

"Aww look at you Lou! How far along are you, when's your next appointment?" Niall asked smiling bigger when he placed his hand on it next to Louis' noticing how he didn't freaked out like he used to back then when someone would touch what he would call 'his mistake'.

 

"Around fourteen weeks and in two more weeks." Louis answered smiling down while he rubbed it missing Niall and Zayn smiling at each other.

 

"Is Harry going with you?" Zayn asked.

 

"Yeah...He wants us to move in together into a new house." Louis confessed wanting their opinions.

 

"What did you say?" Zayn asked giving him his full attention as well as Niall.

 

"I started talking about the bike, you know, try to steer the conversation somewhere else. I agree with him that once the baby gets here we won't have enough space in either his or my flat and it would be nice to have a big backyard for them to play in but I - I don't know, I want us to move in together but it's a big step." Louis chewed on his bottom lip watching Harry scolding Logan while she pouted.

 

"What are you really afraid of? What's stopping you?" Niall asked.

 

"And not beating around the bush Tomlinson, we know you and we're your friends who love you no matter what." Zayn added waiting for him to start talking.

 

"I'm afraid he'll get tired of me and leave me, you both know I'm not exactly the best to be around when I'm pregnant and I'm scared he won't like that side of me and leave me." Louis fiddled with a loose thread on Harry's shirt trying to swallow the lump forming in his throat.

 

"If you haven't noticed he's completely head over heels in love with you and totally whipped mate so trust me when I tell you he's not gonna leave you and if he does which I know he won't I'll rip his balls off and make him eat them. And every pregnancy is different Lou, it was a whole different situation then than it is now so you don't know what you're gonna be like or what to expect...all we know is that in five or so more months you'll have a new baby." Zayn said wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

 

"All I know is that I'm already getting fat and I'm bigger than I was with Logan. Don't you both think so?" Louis asked twisting his stomach sideways to give them a better look.

 

"You look fine and about permanently moving in with Harry just go with what you feel is right." Niall adviced.

 

"Okay...when are you both getting married? You never told us a date." Louis asked changing the subject.

 

"In eight months...January so that way you won't be pregnant by then." Zayn smiled.

 

"Oh my God thank you, I was afraid I was gonna have to be the whale in the pictures." Louis sighed in relief.

 

"And we also decided to not have any kids until after the wedding, we actually want to enjoy our honeymoon." Niall continued noticing Logan running to them.

 

"I'll still carry it for you, you'll just have to wait until I pop this one out." Louis smiled.

 

"We're gonna try it first and if it doesn't work then I'll take you up on that offer." Niall gave him a one arm hug.

 

"Uncle Niall, uncle Zayn I'm gonna have a bubbie!" Logan shouted running up to them while Harry walked behind her pulling on the bike and holding the helmet in his other hand.

 

"You are?" Zayn faked surprise picking her up to give her a big kiss and hug.

 

"Yes, his name is bubbie." Logan nodded.

 

"He?" Niall asked getting up to sit next to Zayn leaving the seat for Harry.

 

"She's set on a boy." Louis explained resting his head on Harry's shoulder.

 

"Don't you want a baby sister?" Niall asked her kissing the side of her head.

 

"No, I want a bubbie." Logan pouted.

 

"But it might not be a bubbie cupcake, it might be a baby girl like you." Zayn tapped her nose trying to make her understand.

 

"We give her back and ask for a bubbie." Logan shrugged as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

 

"That's not possible...if you get a baby sister you have to keep her and love her, same if you get a bubbie but we don't know yet which one is going to be." Zayn explained.

 

"It's a bubbie." Logan said kissing his cheek and Niall's then then got down to roughly pet Buttercup who had been sleeping next to Louis' feet only waking up when a stranger would get too close to him.

 

"So stubborn." Zayn chuckled.

 

"What do you two want?" Niall asked them.

 

"Whatever's fine." Both Louis and Harry answered at the same time then began laughing.

 

"I know it's a bubbie too." Logan cooed shaking Buttercup's paw.

 

"I'm worried she's gonna hate it if it's not a boy." Louis sighed.

 

"She'll love her so don't worry." Harry kissed his temple observing her.

 

After spending almost all day in the park they finally headed home after Niall and Zayn had left stopping on the way to buy Chinese but ended up getting tacos and nachos when Louis suddenly changed his mind and insisted that that's what he and the baby wanted finding out Harry's weakness. By the time they got home Louis had finished the nachos then continued eating the two small tacos sitting on the couch in between Harry's legs watching Frozen and by the end of the movie he was a crying mess while Harry kissed the tears away and Logan was minutes away from falling asleep next to them still holding a taco.

 

"Harry?" Louis mumbled ignoring that it was two in the morning and Harry was a heavy sleeper and was sleeping with his mouth wide open. "Harry wake up!" He shook him watching him jump out of bed grabbing a shoe.

 

"What!? Are you okay?" Harry groggily asked looking around for any intruders.

 

"Yeah I'm fine." Louis raised his eyebrows. "Comeback to bed."

 

"You need something?" Harry yawned crawling back in bed snuggling close to Louis.

 

"No...I was...I was just wondering if you - if you still want to find a house and move in together." Louis finished taking a deep breath at the end.

 

"Only if you want to, I don't want to pressure you into doing something you don't want." Harry mumbled against his neck.

 

"But you still want to?" Louis asked afraid of hearing a no.

 

"Yeah I do."

 

"Okay. So...when do we start looking?" Louis asked.

 

"Really?" Harry sat up.

 

"Yeah, I think a big backyard would be nice. We should start looking before peanut gets here and Logan starts school this fall." Louis smiled resting his head on Harry's chest as soon as he laid back down.

 

"We'll start looking...tomorrow..." Harry yawned falling back asleep after Louis.

 

As Louis' next appointment got closer and closer Harry only grew more anxious and had freaked out when Louis' nose started bleeding out of nowhere only calming down when Dr. Lane explained it was due to increased blood volume and sensitive nasal passages. Since Harry had been reading about pregnancy week by week his eyes had widened at one of the symptoms then had slowly closed the lid of his laptop that somehow was always sticky no matter how many times he cleaned it after Logan would use it. He forgot ever having read that when everything continued like it normally did.

 

"Are you a hundred percent sure this isn't gonna hurt the baby?" Harry asked worried.

 

"Dr. Lane said it was okay. Harry...I'm desperate here." Louis whined pushing back rolling his eyes when Harry moved away from him.

 

"Okay okay. Are you ready?"

 

"I was ready two hundred years ago Harold. Hurry u - oh my God fuck yes." Louis moaned enjoying how much better it felt without a condom after convincing Harry there was no point in using one when he was already knocked up.

 

To Louis a sudden increased sex drive had arrived at the perfect time since Logan was out eating with Liam and Eleanor. He was fully naked on his elbows and knees as Harry slowly pushed into him actually enjoying him going slow. He let out a loud moan followed by a few choice of words when Harry changed his angle brushing against his prostate trying to make it enjoyable for Louis even though he was slightly freaked out at the thought of their baby going through all of that. After a few minutes he forgot about it when Louis convinced him the baby didn't know what was going on then took Louis' cock in his right hand stroking him until he came burying his face on the pillow while he continued thrusting into him while holding him up to keep him from falling on his tummy until he came them pulled out moving Louis on his side laying down next to him.

 

"I'm hungry." Louis mumbled turning around to rest his head near Harry's where he quickly wrapped his arms around him kissing his forehead and feeling his baby bump on his hip.

 

"What do you want to eat?" Harry asked reaching for a small towel to clean Louis and himself up.

 

"Nachos."

 

"Louis you need to eat something healthy like fruit. You want fruit?" Harry tried to make him change his mind.

 

"Fruit has sugar on it Harry. I want - no, scratch that, the baby and I want nachos with extra jalapenos and make sure they're spicy because last time they were sweet." Louis ordered kissing Harry's neck to convince him.

 

"Okay fine, I'll be right back." Harry got out of bed kissing Louis then his tummy then after cleaning himself up and putting fresh clothes on he headed out to buy the food.

 

~*~

 

"I'm excited, are you excited we're gonna go see bubbie on that special screen I told you about?" Harry asked Logan as he brushed then fixed her curls putting a headband on.

 

"Yeah. Is bubbie gonna see us too daddy?" She asked turning around trying to fix his hair too.

 

"No bug, bubbie doesn't get to see us yet." Harry kissed her nose when she pouted making her smile.

 

"You both ready, we're gonna be late." Louis walked by stopping at the front door then headed out.

 

****

 

"Daddy I'm thirsty." Logan whined for the second time resting half her body on Louis' lap pressing her cheek on his stomach.

 

"You just had water, wait till after we see bubbie." Louis picked her up setting her down on his lap.

 

"When do we see bubbie? Daddy I don't have his time." Logan sighed.

 

"Louis Tomlinson?" A nurse called them in just as he was about to answer her question.

 

"We're gonna go see bubbie now." Harry smiled grabbing her hand following Louis.

 

After checking his vitals they were told to wait a few minutes and that Dr. Anderson, the ultrasound technician would be there shortly making Logan huff in annoyance leaning against Harry's chest finding it comfortable while that last name reminded Louis of someone snapping back to reality when he heard a knock on the door.

 

"Hello, I'm Dr. Ande - Louis?"

 

"Jacob!?" Louis looked up in surprise at the now grown man and ex boyfriend standing in front of him who was checking his file as if to make sure he had the right patient.

 

"Hi...how have you been? Wow, look at you!" Jacob smiled motioning to Louis' belly until he noticed Harry holding a child - his and Louis' child.

 

"I've been great." Louis smiled.

 

"Nice to see you again Harry."

 

"Yeah you too." Harry said tightening his grip on Logan when Jacob laid eyes on her.

 

"And what's your name sweety?" Jacob crouched down in front of her smiling.

 

"Logan." She shyly answered sucking on her thumb leaning closer to Harry.

 

"That's a very pretty name just like you. How old are you?" He asked again watching how she looked up at Harry completely enamored waiting for him to tell him never taking her thumb out of her mouth.

 

"She just turned four February fourteen." Harry told him cupping the back of her head with his hand.

 

"Oh...I thought she would be younger." Jacob simply answered moving away from her never taking his eyes off of her.

 

Louis looked down at his hands knowing Jacob had done the math, had realized she had been conceived just a week after their break up and when he looked up it was too see Harry looking back at him with a guilty expression and Jacob preparing the ultrasound machine chewing on his bottom lip.

 

"Could you lay down and lift your shirt up please. All I'm gonna do is check the baby's heartbeat and make sure everything's alright, I also have to take an extensive medical history of both of you as well as do some tests for any possible genetic disorders or diseases. That's all I'm gonna do, Dr. Lane will be in charge of the rest and I'll just check for any abnormalities every time you come for your check ups." Jacob explained while Louis carefully laid down and lifted his shirt up displaying his baby bump for everyone to see seeing Harry sitting closer to him with Logan still in his arms.

 

"It's gonna be a bit cold." Jacob said then focused his attention on the screen. "There it is...It's about 4.6 inches long and weighs 3.5 ounces which is very good."

 

Trying to ignore Jacob's presence Harry grabbed Louis' hand tearing up when he saw his baby moving on the screen for the very first time and when a fast thumping sound filled the room he kissed Louis' hand rubbing small circles on it whispering to Logan that those were her bubbie's heartbeats all three of them never taking their eyes off of the screen.

 

"Daddy that's my bubbie?" Logan asked Louis poking his hand.

 

"Yeah love." Louis smiled looking at her then at Harry who mouthed an I love you to him.

 

"We'll be able to tell the sex on your next visit and your baby is completely healthy and based on how far along your are and the size and weight of the fetus I estimate a due date by November twenty. I'll get a few pictures for you after I get your medical history and both of you get those tests done." 

 

"Okay...do you have to get my medical history, Dr. Lane was my doctor four years ago and she already had all my information." Louis asked getting off of the exam table taking a seat next to Harry.

 

"That was four years ago, I have to in order to update your information as well as get the other father's info since there's no record of it here. We have to make sure there aren't any possible genetic problems with the baby and make sure you have a healthy pregnancy." Jacob explained wondering why there weren't any records of Harry.

 

"Oh okay, that's alright." Louis smiled taking Harry's hand.

 

After they were done doing both things and Louis was also seen by Dr. Lane they were told the results would be ready by Louis' next appointment then left after Jacob had given them a manila envelope with the new ultrasound pictures telling Louis it was nice to see him again and that he had a beautiful daughter then shook hands with Harry making Louis uncomfortable at the tension between them.

 

He watched them leaving the office holding hands looking happy with Harry holding their daughter with just one arm, the daughter that could have been his and Louis' if it hadn't been for Harry getting in between them ruining their relationship. He tried to ignore the anger and jealousy he felt at finding out Harry had not only ruined everything they had but had also managed to steal Louis away from him, had managed to form a family with him even though he had treated Louis like shit and as much as he wanted to he couldn't understand why Louis had slept with him a week or so after their break up after everything Harry had done to them. He wondered if Louis had been cheating on him with Harry and that little girl was the result then came to the painful conclusion that Louis had never loved him like he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mdsxlgIvF31ry05g0o1_500_zps7481df26.gif.html)   
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> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mdsxlgIvF31ry05g0o1_500_zps7481df26.gif
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> Thoughts? :)


	30. Is this what you call love? This is what I'm thinking of

Louis followed Harry around with his eyes as the taller man walked around the kitchen gathering ingredients to make dinner while Logan followed him around asking question after question about what he was going to make and how was he going to make it while he sat on the kitchen table with his laptop in front of him searching for houses on sale around the area already having contacted the realtor for one both he and Harry had liked. He rubbed his hands on his face knowing that the reason Harry was acting different was because of Jacob making him want to get up and kiss him senseless to let him know that he loved him and only him and that Jacob was in the past.

 

"You okay Lou?" Harry asked looking at him but also keeping an eye on Logan who was sitting on the countertop slowly adding the chocolate chips to the cookie dough eating a few when she thought Harry wasn't looking.

 

"Yeah I'm okay...just a little bit tired s'all." Louis lazily smiled.

 

"Why don't you go lay down for a little bit and I'll call you when dinner's ready." Harry suggested grabbing a spoon to mix the dough with Logan.

 

Louis nodded and got up heading to the living room after kissing Harry's and Logan's forehead who barely pay attention to him too busy stirring sticking her tongue out in concentration. He layed down covering himself with Logan's blanket and answered the texts everyone had sent him asking how was he and the baby doing telling them they were okay and that they would know what they were having at his next appointment in a month then fell asleep listening to Harry telling their daughter how to put the spoonfuls of cookie dough on the cookie sheet to bake.

 

When he woke up it was to the smell of freshly baked cookies feeling his mouth watering sitting up just as Logan came in running from the kitchen holding two apple slices giving him a toothy grin once she noticed he was awake then walked up to him pressing one of the slices against his lips until he opened his mouth to eat it. Once she was satisfied after Louis had swallowed it she ate the other one then ran back to the kitchen coming back seconds later with her hands full of them giving half to Louis who happily took them cringing when she wiped her hand on her shirt and began eating them picking Logan up setting her on his lap to cuddle her.

 

"Is bubbie still hungry daddy?" She asked looking up at Louis with heart innocent eyes.

 

"I don't know love. Is that why you gave me the apple slices, you think bubbie's hungry?" Louis hugged her close to him kissing the top of her head.

 

"Mhm, my curly said you and bubbie were hungry and when you're hungry bubbie's hungry. I don't want my bubbie to be hungry." Logan explained bringing her thumb into her mouth pouting when Louis took it out.

 

"Logan?" Harry walked out of the kitchen looking for her stopping when he saw Louis awake with her in his arms. "Did you woke daddy up?" Harry placed his hands on his hips looking at her with a tiny smile.

 

"No. He's eating apple." Logan explained snuggling closer to Louis.

 

"I was already awake and she shared her apple with me and bubbie. Didn't you sweetheart? You shared with daddy." Louis pulled her down on her back and began peppering her face with kisses shrieking when Logan sat up and began doing the same to him.

 

Harry watched with a smile fishing out his phone to take a few pictures of them then after telling them dinner was ready they went back to the kitchen to eat the chicken and vegetables Harry had prepared wanting Louis to eat healthier since all he had been eating was nachos with spicy jalapenos not really understanding how he could eat them without burning his tongue off. They listened to Logan with smiles on their faces telling them all about the things she was going to do with her bubbie once he was out of her daddy complaining that it was taking him forever and that if he wanted to sleep he could do it on her bed while she slept with them. By the end of dinner she had gotten upset when Louis tried to explain that bubbie might be a girl and not a boy like she wanted forgetting about it when Harry offered her a chocolate chip cookie giving a few to Louis who kept asking for the whole tray.

 

"I called the realtor and she said we can go see the house tomorrow?" Harry mumbled from his spot by Louis' stomach where he had been talking to the baby after turning the light off for the night.

 

"That's great - oh and Gemma called to let us know she's coming to spend a few days with us in about a month, she even offered to stay with Logan so we can go to the next appointment alone." Louis said trying to pull Harry up so he could rest his head on his chest.

 

"She called you? She didn't called or text me to tell me...mum's not coming?" Harry asked moving according to how Louis wanted to position himself so he would be more comfortable.

 

"No, just Gemma. Said she never gets to spend enough time with us so she's coming." Louis let out a yawn making Harry find him absolutely adorable.

 

"That would be nice, I miss her. Night Lou love you, love you bubbie." Harry mumbled half asleep.

 

"Are you tired already?" Louis asked poking his cheek.

 

"Yeah, I have to work tomorrow." Harry whispered rubbing circles on Louis' bare skin right on his baby bump.

 

"We love you too." Louis smiled letting him fall asleep while he massaged his scalp.

 

The next day Louis woke up bright and early with a sudden burst of energy feeling great and wanting to make a big breakfast while Harry stayed in bed completely knocked out and by the time Louis was done cooking bacon and eggs Logan walked in dragging her blanket behind her and holding Harry's phone in her other hand as she cutely yawned trying to turn it on. Louis served the food as he watched her turning it on waiting for her to give it to him since she needed to type in the four number password he knew since it was 2414 which where his and Logan's birthday days but was surprised when she easily entered it and went straight for one of the children's learning games but not before Louis got a glimpse of the screen with a picture of all three of them at the park.

 

"Morning love. Did you asked daddy if you could play with his phone?" Louis asked picking her up kissing her cheek getting one in return.

 

"Louis have you seen my phone?" Harry asked just as Logan abandoned it and was trying to reach for a piece of bacon huffing in annoyance when she couldn't reach it.

 

"Oh...thanks. Did you make all of this? How long have you been up?" Harry smiled taking the phone quickly wrapping his arms around them giving Louis a kiss on the lips and planting one on the back of Logan's head.

 

"I've been up for a while now. What time are you leaving?"

 

"I have to be there by eight thirty." Harry glanced at the clock on the stove seeing he had an hour to get there.

 

"What time do we have to be at the house?" Louis asked pulling away setting Logan down into her chair then took a seat in front of Harry.

 

"One o'clock, I'll pick you up at noon."

 

Harry left for work after helping Louis clean up the table and giving them a hug and kisses including Louis' tummy until Louis had to kick him out kissing at the door for a few more minutes before he left. By noon Louis and Logan were ready by the time Harry picked them up leaving with enough time to get there gaping when they got there seeing how big and beautiful the house was. It was Victorian style with a big front yard and a porch Louis immediately fell in love with as he unbuckled Logan grabbing her hand as soon as he set her down and walked around to the front of the car where Harry was waiting for them.

 

They could see a woman inside the house from where the door was left open who came out introducing herself as Kelly shaking hands with them. She started showing them the first floor which consisted of a foyer and stairs right through the front door then led them to the left where the dinning room was in front of the great room as they admired the French doors. They made their way to the master bedroom to their right where Harry liked the spacious closet and Louis liked that he had access to the deck loving the stairs that led down to the garden seeing it also had access from the great room and the breakfast area. After she showed them the kitchen which was next to the great room Louis completely fell in love with the keeping room imagining their afternoons together in the winter cuddling and drinking hot chocolate. After Kelly was done showing them downstairs she led them upstairs where all Louis cared about was the open floor plan with a beautiful view to the backyard and feel even more in love when he saw the walkout basement already thinking about using it as a playroom for the kids.

 

"Don't you think it's a bit too big?" Harry asked as soon as Kelly left them alone in the backyard to answer a call.

 

"I think it's perfect." Louis smiled watching Logan running around chasing a butterfly.

 

"A five bedroom house is too much Lou, I think a three bedroom one would be nice." Harry suggested.

 

"But I like this one and the two extra rooms we could use as guest bedrooms." Louis tried to convince him. "I don't want to pressure you or anything but what if in five years or more we have another baby, we're gonna need the extra room or when our families visit at least some of them will get to stay with us."

 

"Are you sure this is the one you want? I like it but I also will like it more modern in the inside and this is the first one we see and I just want you to be a hundred percent sure." Harry hugged Louis from behind hooking his chin on his left shoulder while Louis looked around then at Logan walking back to them.

 

"I'm sure this is the one I want." Louis decided smiling when Harry kissed his cheek knowing he had convinced him.

 

After signing a few things Kelly handed them a set of keys congratulating them on their new home and baby and to celebrate Harry decided to take them out to eat agreeing with Louis that since his flat had been sold back just like Louis would be doing with his then they should pack all of his stuff first.

 

A week later they found themselves packing all of Harry's stuff or more like Harry packing it himself since he wasn't letting Louis do anything ending up in pointless arguments and Louis either crying or giving Harry the silent treatment. He would use Logan as a way of communicating to tell Harry what he wanted or needed until she would get bored or annoyed and leave to play in a corner of the living room away from them ignoring them until it was time to eat or go home.

 

A few days later when Louis had entered his eighteen week was when he was finally allowed to do something useful like going through all the stuff Harry had in boxes stored in the corner of his closet to see what was good to take and what was not until he recognized a small black box. He recognized it because it was his, it was the box where Louis had kept his and Harry's old pictures, notes and basically all of their memories together when they were friends and hadn't thrown away when Harry turned against him, he thought Harry had gotten rid of his which he was still sure he had done.

 

He opened the box with shaky hands and teared up when the first thing he saw was a picture of both of them with their arms around each other while they smiled so big and their eyes shined with happiness and innocence. He began going through the box finding old notes they used to pass to each other during class rereading them and laughing at how dumb they were back then then stopped laughing when he saw his green and white bracelet made of thread Harry had given him while Louis himself had given Harry a blue and white one. It had been one of the cheesiest thing they had done for and given to each other and had been teased about it for a while but they didn't cared at all like always.

 

He put them away setting the box aside to take with him since it was his after all even though he had left it behind and thought he had lost it when his mum couldn't find it, he had cried when she told him it was nowhere to be found and he thought he had lost all the happy memories with Harry. He continued grabbing another black box opening it realizing Harry had never gotten rid of his own like he had thought and had kept them just like he had done making him smile when he saw what was inside the box. He was just about to put it away with his own when he noticed a white envelope with his own name written on it taped to the inside of the lid. Careful not to rip it he removed it putting the box aside wondering if he should open it or not, he looked at the door knowing he was alone since Harry and Logan had just left to get lunch after he had picked her up from her karate class.

 

Louis looked back at the envelope wanting to know what was inside and even though he and Harry were now happy together with their children and the past was the past he still wanted to know. He took a deep breath and opened it finding a letter in Harry's own handwriting seeing how messy it was written and in various spots the ink was smudged as if drops of water had landed on it while it was being written realizing Harry must've been crying then began reading feeling his eyes stinging with tears.

 

_Lou,_

_I lost the right to call you that a long time ago the moment I hurt you for the first time and I'm so sorry. I know that a simple sorry isn't enough after what I did to you but at this point there's nothing else left to do, I can't fix things when no matter how hard I try to find you you're never there, you don't want to be found and I'm sorry for giving up on you again. I can't do it anymore Lou, I can't continue living and pretending that nothing's wrong and I don't miss you when I'm slowly dying on the inside little by little each day that goes by and you're not here with me. I just miss you so much Lou, I just want you here with me, just the two of us. By the time you're reading this I won't be there anymore, I won't hurt you anymore so please don't stop reading. Please don't take away my last and only chance I have to explain why._

_I wish I could go back in time and change the way I handled things and the horrible way I treated you just like I was treated, I wish I could take that pain away but I can't. I used to be a kid who didn't care what others thought about me and I thought Adam would accept me for who I was but I was wrong. I've known I like boys since the year before you came out but things for me didn't worked out as well as they did for you. I've been treated so wrong and like I was nothing and no one important by my own father and all I got were beatings, torture, and cruel words instead of the hug and loving words of acceptance I had hoped for. I never got the chance to be free like you and instead spent my last years caged like a bird._

_How could I be free when it was beaten into me that loving your best friend, a guy, was wrong, disgusting and a sin. How could I be free and be the real me, the Harry you got to know when the person who used to be my hero and who I thought was supposed to protect me, accept and love me no matter what hurt me so many times until I was nothing but an empty shell forced to hide who I really was. He threatened you and my family. He already hurt Gemma and I couldn't let him hurt you or worse, kill you all because of a disgusting silly crush like he called it. I told myself it was for the best but in the end it was me who ended up hurting you and did to you something so disgusting I still had nightmares every time I closed my eyes. They never stop haunting me._

_I didn't meant to fall in love with you the way I did but it happened, I wish I didn't had to tell you I've been in love with you for the past three years and never got the chance to say it out loud nor show it to you the way I would've liked. I fell in love with your smile and the way your eyes shined every time you talked about something you were passionate about, the way you would pout to get your way whenever you wanted something. I fell in love with everything that is you and you, everything you loved I loved. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from myself and I know it's too late now to save you and save myself, too late to save your love. I'm a pathetic coward for taking the easy way out but I can't do it anymore and I know you're not any better and dealing with so much more but I hate myself like I know you hate and I'm sorry._

_I never meant all those things I said to you, you are and will always be my everything so please believe me when I say you're beautiful in every way, shape and form. You have no idea how easy it was for me to fall in love with you and before I knew it I was in way too deep and I never wanted to get out ever again but things never worked out the way I wanted them to. I'm sorry things had to end the way they did but when I lost you I lost myself and the will to keep going, I didn't want to live anymore and I'm the only one to blame for everything._

_I guess this is goodbye and no matter where I go I will always love you angel, always. Go on and be happy because you deserve it, you deserve everything good in life unlike me. I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to hold your hand, call you mine and kiss you goodnight. I wanted to marry you and have a few kids and a dog, have a family with you and make you happy. Maybe someday you'll have just that Lou, you'll have your own kids with the one you love and I'll be just a vague memory in the back of your mind and you'll be so happy. That's when I'll truly find peace or solace like I used to say. Maybe we were never meant to be but I'll leave believing that we were, that we could have been so happy together if I had just fought hard enough for us. I'll go leaving nothing behind of me but this note and our memories, I'm sorry all I left behind was pain and I hope one day you can forgive me. I'll never stop loving you no matter where I go, I wish I could have been by your side for the rest of our lives. I love you Louis, always and forever._

_Harry_

_P. S. Last night I saw a shooting star and it reminded me of you. It was beautiful but I couldn't compare, nothing is more beautiful to me than you._

 

Louis clutched the letter against his chest as he cried and didn't know how long he sat there until he heard the front door opening and Logan's loud footsteps as she ran inside probably with Buttercup after her since he was barking. Harry called for him to come eat and that he had his favorite juice making him let out a muffled sob trying not to imagine him dead and gone when he had already gone through thinking him dead and it had been hell. He tried to wipe his face clean of the wetness but Harry chose that moment to walk in leaving Louis with no time to hide the letter back inside the box.

 

"I got you na - Lou what's wrong, why are you crying? Is something wrong with the baby?" Harry desperately asked checking Louis all over for any injuries relaxing a bit when he found none until he saw the boxes he had kept all those years and a piece of paper in his hands against his chest.

 

"The baby's fine." Louis said then began bawling trying to take deep breaths to calm down.

 

"You kept them. H - How did y - you find mine?"

 

"Oh Lou, that doesn't matter. Shh, come here...please don't cry, not for me Louis, not anymore." Harry easily picked him up to sit him on his lap hugging him and using his sleeve to wipe his face free of tears.

 

"Y - You kept it t - too." Louis sobbed giving him his box and the letter then hid his face on the crook of his neck.

 

"What's this?" Harry asked taking the letter.

 

Louis pulled back to look at him seeing how Harry's eyes widened then out of nowhere ripped the letter into small pieces until he couldn't anymore then threw them in the bin and tightened his grip on Louis kissing the side of his head feeling their precious baby bump against his stomach.

 

"How did you find my box? Is that - the letter, that's the letter you wrote to me?" Louis pressed his hands against Harry's cheeks waiting for him to talk.

 

"That night after you left and Eleanor hit me I jumped into your room through the window...I - I wanted to know if you were really gone. I found it when I started hitting my head against your nightstand and I took it. I've had it with me all these years." Harry said never letting go of Louis.

 

"Why did you kept that letter there?" Louis mumbled trying to understand why.

 

"That - that night I left those boxes on top of my desk with a note to my mum to give them to you and I taped that envelope inside mine, after everything I went through I never opened them again and I forgot about it, I tried to forget everything...even you and start over but you were always there and I realized I didn't wanted to forget you at all." Harry rubbed Louis' back to reduce his hiccups.

 

"Here," Louis pulled away and picked up the blue bracelet then grabbed Harry's left hand and gently put it back where it belonged as he smiled. "Now you'll always have something to remind you of me."

 

"And now you do too." Harry smiled picking the green one putting it on Louis' right wrist then kissed it before hugging him again. "Let's go eat, I got you your favorite juice and nachos."

 

"Carry me." Louis sniffled then smiled a little when Harry moved him off of his lap, got up then lifted him up by the back of his thighs where Louis quickly wrapped his arms and legs around him and carried him towards his almost empty living room like a small child.

 

He set him down on the couch next to Logan then moved to stand in front of him still wiping Louis' tears away who for no reason other than hormones kept crying just feeling like he had to while Logan looked at them frowning. Before they knew what was going on Logan got up from the couch, pushed Harry away from Louis as hard as she could landing a punch right in his crotch screaming that he made daddy and bubbie cry then wrapped her arms around Louis' stomach while he tried not to laugh and instead tried to get up and help him but Logan refused to move and just stared at Harry who was trying to breathe.

 

"Are you okay? Logan Why would you do that? You don't hit daddy or anybody else you understand." Louis tried to get her look at him but she only clung to him tighter.

 

"I'm - I'm okay." Harry stuttered.

 

"What do we say?" Louis looked down at Logan who was now looking at him frowning.

 

"He made you cry daddy, I don't like it and he made my bubbie cry. It's my bubbie." Logan pouted refusing to look at Harry.

 

"We don't hit people, that's not nice Logan. What do you have to say to daddy?" Louis continued.

 

"He made you cry daddy." Logan insisted as her eyes filled with tears.

 

"Baby he didn't made me cry, I was crying because...because I hit my elbow against the wall but I'm okay now. You have to apologize to daddy you know that." Louis gently pushed her towards Harry who was now sitting on the arm of the couch rubbing his left eye.

 

"I'm sorry daddy." Logan mumbled going back to Louis but let Harry pick her up placing her on his lap.

 

"It's okay bug. Can you give me a kiss and a big hug?" Harry asked and smiled when Logan kissed him and gave him a hug while he looked at Louis who was smiling then out of nowhere his smile disappeared.

 

"Oh." Louis' hand flew to his belly placing it over a spot then smiled tearing up again.

 

"What's wrong?" Harry asked kissing Logan's forehead before he put her back down where she stayed still in front of them.

 

"I felt - the - the baby moved. I can feel it, give me your hand...I - I don't think you can yet but I can. It was a tiny nudge." Louis grabbed Harry's hand putting it over the spot where he was feeling light nudges.

 

"I can't feel anything Lou...can you bug?" Harry asked her kneeling down in front of Louis lifting his shirt up then grabbed Logan's hand putting it next to his own.

 

"There!" Louis exclaimed.

 

"I don't feel it daddy. Bubbie you have to move faster but I still love you even if you're sooo slow." Logan said kissing his belly then got up to wake up Buttercup leaving Louis and Harry almost in tears.

 

"You can't feel it yet but I'm pretty sure he or she can hear you now." Louis said noticing the disappointment on Harry's face when he couldn't feel the baby move.

 

"Really? Could I talk to her?" Harry asked smiling when Louis nodded telling him he didn't had to ask to talk to their baby.

 

"Hi Leighton...or Evan, whichever you are doesn't matter because we'll still love you the same. Daddy your sister and I can't wait to meet you baby...I love you." Harry gently kissed it.

 

"You sound like you really want a girl." Louis gently stroked Harry's cheek with his thumb.

 

"I guess I do but it really doesn't matter, all I want is for our baby to be healthy and happy." Harry smiled.

 

"Just two more weeks and we'll know if it's an Evan or a Leighton. You said something about nachos and my favorite juice?" Louis asked leaning down to kiss Harry.

 

~*~

 

"She's gonna think we're just using her to babysit Logan while we go to the appointment." Louis sighed as Harry rubbed his swollen feet that were killing him while he had a hand on his aching lower back.

 

"She won't mind because she loves her and will want to spend some time alone with her, I'm starting to think she has the adoption papers ready for us to sign." Harry said then after a pause chuckled.

 

"Well we won't sign them." Louis chuckled resting against the headboard looking around their new bedroom.

 

The past two weeks had been hectic with all the moving, shopping for baby furniture and trying to decide what color to paint the nursery until Harry suggested they should wait until after finding out what they were having. Thanks to the help of their friends they were able to move in faster also helping with the unpacking and after talking about it both Harry and Louis decided to keep using the furniture Louis had in his flat for her and use the one in Harry's as well as his own bed for the guestrooms leaving the one for the baby empty. After Louis had decorated the way he wanted and Logan had absolutely loved her new bedroom painted a light purple he placed the pictures of him and Harry when they were younger and the one from Logan's birthday party on his nightstand already planning on buying a new frame for the picture of all four of them once the baby got there. Now at twenty weeks louis was scheduled for an appointment that had him a nervous mess because of the tests they had done and excited to know the sex of the baby so he could buy everything his baby needed. Gemma who had find out they had the appointment the same day she would be arriving had screamed their ears off demanding to be the second to know after Logan then suggested Logan stay with her to spend time with her which Harry quickly agreed to without asking Louis.

 

"Auntie Gemma's here!" Logan shouted running into their bedroom followed by an excited Buttercup.

 

"She is? Well let's go give her a big hug." Harry smiled helping Louis up.

 

"Hi! Oh my goodness Lou look at you, you're glowing." Gemma said as soon as she saw him giving him a quick hug then touched his belly after Louis nodded.

 

"Auntie Gemma I missed you lots." Logan hugged her leg clinging to it when she noticed all her attention was on her Bubbie and not her.

 

"I missed you lots too princess. My God you're getting bigger and bigger everyday, you're such a big girl now." Gemma picked her up kissing her cheek.

 

"No hug for me Gems?" Harry teased then smiled when she hugged him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "How are mum and dad?"

 

"They're good, mum baked you guys chocolate chip cookies...they're in the front seat and my bags are on the back." Gemma let go of him.

 

"Let me go get them." Harry said walking out followed by Logan who insisted on going too at the mention of her favorite chocolate chip cookies Ninna sent to her.

 

"Today's the big reveal huh?" Gemma smiled wrapping an arm around him while Louis walked to the kitchen.

 

"Yeah I'm excited and thank you for staying with her. Tea?"

 

"Sure, and its no problem Lou. I did missed my little girl you know and in four months I'll get to hold that little baby. Has it kicked?"

 

"Yeah but they're not that strong yet...I'm worried this one doesn't move as much as Logan did, it doesn't kick as hard as Logan used to around this time." Louis voiced his worries chewing on his bottom lip.

 

"Maybe this baby's gonna be more calm than her, she never stops...but you should ask the doctor anyway." Gemma suggested.

 

"Logan starts school next month." Louis sighed giving Gemma a mug.

 

"Oh dear. Think she's gonna like it?" Gemma asked.

 

"I hope so or we'll have a big problem, if she doesn't cry the first day then we'll be fine." Louis smiled hearing Logan begging Harry for at least half a cookie.

 

Soon enough Harry and Louis were waiting for both Dr. Lane and Jacob to get there since they had the test results and were anxious to know what they were having. Louis was starting to get impatient resting his head on Harry's shoulder who kissed the top of his head when there was a knock on the door and both Dr. Lane and Jacob walked in greeting them. She checked his vitals and answered a few questions including as to why the baby wasn't moving as much as his first one, all babies and pregnancies were different and it will soon start kicking up a storm all the while Harry noticed Jacob sitting by the ultrasound machine holding a file looking worried managing to make him worry.

 

"Do you boys want to know what you're having first or talk about the results? It's important that we do." Dr. Lane asked.

 

"We want to know first." Louis smiled just as Harry did.

 

"Alright then, you know what to do Louis." Dr. Lane smiled helping him a little then motioned for Jacob to start.

 

"Can you see it?" Louis asked after a while.

 

"The baby keeps hiding it with its legs, won't let me see." Jacob commented while Dr. Lane chuckled.

 

"This one is a little shy Louis." She said stopping to listen to the heartbeat then turned to look at Harry and Louis. "When I was trying to find the sex of your first baby I found it right away but then you decided not to know, she wasn't shy at all but this one is a shy little one."

 

"There it is." Jacob smiled freezing the screen.

 

"What is it?" Harry asked leaning forward holding Louis' hand.

 

"Congratulations, it's a boy." Jacob announced seeing Louis' whole face lighting up with happiness making him smile then looked down when Louis reached to hug Harry.

 

"We're gonna have a boy Haz, it's an Evan." Louis hugged him.

 

"Logan was right." He smiled kissing his forehead.

 

"Evan? That's a beautiful name." Dr. Lane smiled.

 

"Thank you, Harry picked it." Louis proudly said.

 

"I'll go get you your pictures." Jacob said slipping out of the room coming back minutes later with a manila envelope seeing Louis sitting next to Harry.

 

"We have to talk about the genetic test results." Dr. Lane began then looked at Jacob who swallowed a lump in his throat.

 

"Looking at Louis' results there's nothing to worry about they're all normal but...in Harry's I found a mutation in one of the genes in chromosome seventeen." Jacob started making Louis tighten his grip on Harry's hand.

 

"W - What do you mean? What does that mean?" Louis asked hoping for the best.

 

"He's - he's a carrier for Leber Congenital Amaurosis but looking into your first child's medical history there's a possibility of Harry not passing it down to this one either and since you're not a carrier Louis there's a chance that your baby might only be a carrier like Harry or not have it at all like his sister." Jacob explained trying to ease it for them.

 

"What do you mean I'm a carrier...could you at least explain what that is?" Harry asked wrapping his arms around a silently crying Louis.

 

"It's a rare inherited eye disease that appears months before, at birth or in the first few months of life. The term congenital refers to a condition present from birth not acquired and amaurosis refers to...to a loss of vision not associated with a lesion. It is typically characterized by Nystagmus which is involuntary eye movement, sluggish or no pupilliary responses and...severe vision loss or - or blindness." Jacob finished and all he could hear were Louis' soft cries muffled by Harry's chest as he held him feeling bad for both of them seeing Harry's eyes filed with tears.

 

"You - you mean my baby's blind?" Louis asked feeling his chest tightening.

 

"Not necessarily...there is a chance just as there are chances of him being only a carrier or not having it at all like his sister. That doesn't mean he's blind Louis." Jacob said wanting nothing but comfort him.

 

"C - Can you run a test or something to know if he is?" Harry desperately asked feeling guilty because if it wasn't for him then Evan could be completely fine and life just kept making him pay for his mistakes.

 

"The only way to know is by checking his eyes soon after birth and do a few tests to see if he's a carrier or not if his eyes are fine, if he's a carrier like you that doesn't mean he'll have it, he'll just carry the gene and be completely fine like you." Dr. Lane explained.

 

"Okay..." Harry took a shaky breath kissing the top of Louis' head.

 

~*~

 

The drive home was quiet until Louis made Harry pull over halfway home then wiped the tears away taking Harry's warm hand in his feeling Evan nudging him again then two tiny kicks in his side. The thought of their little baby boy possibly being blind almost brought tears to his eyes once again but he held them back knowing how Harry who tended to blame himself for all the bad things that happened must be feeling.

 

"If he's blind we'll still love him, it won't change anything. You'll still love him right?" Louis asked already knowing the answer.

 

"I would never not love him, he's our son and I love him so much Lou. If he is blind then that won't matter because it won't change things at all, I still love him to bits and I'll still spoil him rotten like Logan. She'll love him too just like us and I promise you he's gonna be the happiest little boy ever. I know it's my fault but I still love him the same, nothing's changed." Harry held Louis' hand kissing him while a few tears escaped his eyes.

 

"Stop blaming yourself for everything, it's not your fault." Louis gently brushed Harry's curls as he put a hand over his stomach managing to bend to press his cheek against it when it happened.

 

"I - I can feel him." Harry let out a choked happy sob kissing it. "I promise you I will always love you Evan, no matter what we will always love you. I can't wait to meet you and hold you, I bet you're gonna be just as handsome as your daddy Lou. I love him you know...yeah you do baby boy. You'll be so happy bubbie, I promise. I would never let anyone hurt you or your sister and daddy."

 

And in that moment Louis fell in love with him all over again if that was possible and the only thing he could feel was pure adoration towards him growing and growing even more. He felt safe next to him knowing and believing they were meant to be, had always been no matter what. He smiled knowing he had it all with him and they were going to be alright. If that was what they called love then it was what he had been thinking of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mtoyypexkW1rlaofuo1_250_zps2f40aaf9.gif.html)   
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> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mtoyypexkW1rlaofuo1_250_zps2f40aaf9.gif
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> Thoughts?


	31. And you said to me we'll be alright, and we'll be alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit rushed but I hope you guys like it. :)
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> This song is perfect for the chapter. :)
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> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBBy50GwGNw

"Should we tell them what going on?" Louis asked as soon as Harry had parked the car outside their home.

 

"I think we should but I think we should focus more on setting up the nursery and buying everything our Bubbie's going to need. Wait until we tell Logan it's a boy, she's gonna flip." Harry beamed with happiness melting Louis' heart.

 

"I hope he gets your eyes...and the curls too, just like Logan." Louis smiled taking Harry's hand in his.

 

"We already have a mini me Lou, I want a mini you with beautiful bright blue eyes just like yours as well as your hair." Harry tilted his head to the side trying not to smile when Louis shook his head no rather stubbornly.

 

"I want him to look like you." Louis pouted.

 

"How about both of us?" Harry chuckled diving forward stealing a kiss making Louis gasp.

 

"Harry Edward! Did you just stole my kiss!?" Louis faked surprise touching his lips still feeling that tingling sensation he felt every time Harry kissed him.

 

"I did. What are you gonna do about it?" Harry smiled yet Louis could see the adoration in his eyes.

 

Louis bit his bottom lip feeling like a teenager on his first date with the hottest guy of the school then fighting a smile he leaned down capturing Harry's lips on his own wrapping his hand around the back of his neck as Harry early responded. He deepened the kiss feeling Harry's hand on his lower back sliding all the way down to his thigh, Harry shifted around in his seat trying to get closer stopping when he felt Louis' belly pressed up against him before he could get any closer to him.

 

"Get it back...and I did." Louis smirked then got out of the car leaving Harry with his mouth wide open and definitely not staring at that magnificent bum of his.

 

He quickly got out of the car locking it and walking a little faster to catch up to Louis who was waiting for him leaning against the porch post with both his hands intertwined together underneath his belly that only kept getting bigger and bigger and to Harry Louis looked absolutely beautiful. Louis immediately reached out for Harry's hand and once it was secured in his he opened the door expecting to see Logan rushing over to them but the only thing they saw was an overly excited Buttercup running to them about to jump on Louis. Harry barely managed to get in between them getting tackled down to the ground by the 7 month old dog as it licked his face and wagged his tail.

 

"Harry! Are you okay?" Louis shrieked trying to get the dog off of him just as Gemma came in running from the kitchen.

 

"What happened?" She asked helping Louis get him off of Harry.

 

"I'm okay. Are you okay? Are you hurting?" Harry frantically asked checking Louis all over relaxing when Louis shook his head.

 

"He tried to jump on you too?" Gemma asked holding Buttercup by the collar leading him to the kitchen followed by Louis and Harry.

 

"He jumped you?" Harry asked crouching down in front of the dog.

 

"Yeah, tried to jump Logan too...but she gave him a right scolding and he hasn't tried ever since." Gemma chuckled letting go of him.

 

"Where is she?" Louis asked grabbing a small chocolate bar from the pantry.

 

"Taking a nap, wore herself out after running around in the backyard with the dog. I know you guys wanted to tell her first but I'm dying. Are we getting an Evan or a Leighton...oh and did you get the results back?" Gemma asked excitedly waiting for Harry to finish scolding the dog then watched as he let him go then got up to stand next to Louis.

 

"It's a boy Gemma." Louis smiled leaning into Harry's embrace.

 

"Oh my gosh! Congratulations boys, Logan's gonna be over the moon when she finds out it is a Bubbie." Gemma exclaimed hugging both of them pausing when she noticed something was wrong.

 

"Gemma...did you know I'm a carrier for Leber Congenital Amaurosis?" Harry asked feeling Louis' grip on his side tightening.

 

"No but I know Adam is..." Gemma trailed off, realization crossing over her features.

 

"Fucking bastard." Harry snarled getting out of Louis' grip walking towards the breakfast area then coming back breathing faster, hands balled into fists.

 

"Harry calm down." Louis sighed sitting in one of the barstools

 

"You want me - you want me to calm down when it's his fault I'm fucked up and because of me Evan could be blind. More reasons to hate him." Harry muttered the last words.

 

"Is the baby okay?" Gemma asked checking the lasagna in the oven.

 

"Dr. Lane said that there's a chance he could be a carrier or be blind but since Logan doesn't have either then there's a possibility he might not have them either. If he's blind then it won't matter to us, he's still our son and we love him." Louis explained trying not to cry again.

 

"We will, we already love him so much." Gemma gave him a reassuring smile watching Harry take a seat next to Louis rubbing his hands on his face.

 

"We need to pick a color for the nursery so I can start painting it." Harry managed to smile even though inside he was dying.

 

Because of him their son might never see what his family look like, might never see the colors or the seasons changing and the leaves falling. Going from a green to a brown or see the flowers blooming in the spring. He'll never get to see what he looks like or see the snow in the winter, the Christmas tree or run on his own all because of him.

 

"I like a baby blue...oh and we have to buy everything he's going to need." Louis smiled taking the ultrasound picture out of the manila envelope giving them to Gemma who squealed.

 

"No doubt he's a boy...and look at his cute button nose just like Louis'." Gemma gushed never taking her eyes off of the picture seeing Harry getting up to grab a water bottle from the corner of her eye.

 

"Oh look, he kicks when I press in with my hand." Louis giggled pressing in on his side smiling when Harry and Gemma pushed each other to get there first laughing when Gemma pushed him a few feet away getting there first as she smiled feeling Evan kicking right against her palm.

 

"He's restless. Just started kicking earlier today and now he won't stop." Louis said feeling how he kicked, stop then kicked again not as strong yet but he knew he would later on.

 

"He's showing his skills to his daddies, might play footie when he grows up with all that kicking he's doing in there." Gemma cooed.

 

"Or he might be artsy like Louis." Harry grinned already proud of his son.

 

"No, he's definitely going to be a footie player." Louis agreed with Gemma.

 

"He can do whatever he likes...I'm not going to force him to do something he doesn't want to do." Harry gave them a sad smile.

 

Louis stayed in the kitchen with Gemma while Harry checked on Logan smiling when he saw half her body was hanging off the bed and careful not wake her up he picked her up putting her in the middle of the bed lifting her arm up to put Mr. Curls underneath it then covered her with her blanket kissing her forehead. He closed the door to keep Buttercup from getting in and lay down next to her since he was shedding and after what had happened earlier making a mental note to take him outside. He walked to the office in front of Logan's bedroom and sat down in front of his laptop looking up dog obedience schools wanting to train Buttercup to keep him from jumping then thinking about Evan not wanting the dog to accidentally hurt him or Logan and Louis.

 

After searching for almost half an hour he found one called full circle and booked an appointment after making sure it was trustworthy after taking his time reading over the comments people were leaving when he heard the dog trying to get into her room whining when he couldn't. He frowned when the door was opened then slammed shut again hearing the unmistakable click of the lock quickly getting up to check on her when he realized he had locked herself in there and began jiggling the doorknob when he found it locked.

 

"Logan? Bug open the door." Harry knocked then tried to open it again.

 

"No." Logan answered and by her tone Harry could tell she was still sleepy.

 

"Why not?" Harry asked trying to remember where Louis had put the master key after they had rekeyed all of the locks in the house.

 

" 'Cause Emily said no, daddy she doesn't like you because you don't give us cookies. Go away." Logan answered freaking him out when she started giggling.

 

"Logan open the door."

 

"No!"

 

"Logan Styles open the door or you're gonna be in big trouble." Harry nearly shouted trying to open it when she once again told him to go away. "Hunter open the door right now or I'm gonna put you in time out with no cookies for you at all."

 

He sighed in relief when he heard shuffling and seconds later she opened the door getting out of the way when Harry opened the door wider and walked in looking around only seeing Buttercup sleeping on her bed and no one else. He turned around eyeing the doorknob then looked at Logan already knowing what he was going to do and after Logan put her shoes back on he took her downstairs leaving her in the kitchen in Louis' arms who gave him a questioning look as well as Gemma.

 

He then headed to the garage where he kept all his tools and was too small for their cars so they just parked them in the other one which was bigger then headed back inside walking past them with tools and a new doorknob with no lock in his hands. After changing it and making sure it was working he turned around satisfied with his work to see Louis standing in front of him with his arms across his chest waiting for an explanation raising an eyebrow.

 

"She locked herself in there and wouldn't open the door so I fixed the problem." Harry quickly explained crouching down to pick up his tools.

 

"Now that you're on it why don't you change the one in the baby's room, I don't want it with a lock...I don't feel comfortable." Louis gave him a pleading look running his fingers through his curls making him sigh in content.

 

"Let me go get a doorknob." Harry got up giving him a quick kiss as Louis walked into Evan's room which was to the right next to Logan's.

 

~*~

 

"Daddy my cookie." Logan whined pulling on Harry's shirt while he was trying to clear the table having trouble when Logan kept following him around almost tripping him a few times.

 

After Harry had given her a lecture about locking the doors and not listening they had finally sat down to eat the lasagna Gemma had prepared for them promising Logan she could have two cookies after dinner. Once he was done cleaning it he grabbed a few of his mum's cookies having called her to thank her and so he and Louis could tell them they were going to have a grandson leaving the part about him possibly being blind for another day and made his way out the the deck in the backyard where Louis, Gemma, and Logan were waiting for him. He bent down to give Logan a cookie and as fast as he had given her it it was snatched away by Buttercup who moved away from her when she tried to get it back.

 

"My cookie...daddy!" Logan started crying as soon as she realized he had eaten it and ran to Harry who picked her up rubbing her back as she cried hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

 

"Don't cry bug, I'll still give you two." Harry kissed her wet cheek reaching out for a cookie from the plate Gemma was holding out for him then gave her two cookies.

 

She stayed on Harry's lap resting her head against his chest eating it away from the dog's reach leaving crumbs all over Harry's shirt. Harry smiled when she saw Gemma taking a picture of them who no doubt was going to send it to their mum since she had already sent her one of him and Louis before dinner when Louis had been sitting on Harry's lap while he talked to Evan making obnoxious noises.

 

"Logan be nice to him." Louis quickly said as soon as he saw her giving the dog a light kick on the side to make him go away.

 

"No, he's mean." Logan pouted looking at Louis who had moved to sit next to them then turned to Buttercup pointing at him with her small index finger. "You're a bad boy and bad boys don't get cuddles. Time out for you."

 

They chuckled as Harry hugged her closer to him kissing the top of her head then set her down when she began squirming watching her run to Buttercup telling him time out was up then cuddled him cooing at him until it was time for her to take a bath and go to bed. That night Louis fell asleep with half his body on top of Harry's and his belly resting against Harry's stomach for support since he was more comfortable sleeping on his side while Harry stayed awake smiling like an idiot whenever he would feel Evan moving around wondering if Louis felt it differently than he did rolling his eyes because of course he did, he was carrying him after all.

 

The following week was all fun and games for Logan and Gemma and entertaining conversations between the three adults who did nothing but remember the good old times and tell funny stories about each other then out of nowhere started planning a get together with the whole family and friends on Gemma's last days there which were going to be the following weekend. Thursday noon both Louis and Harry had the whole house to themselves after Gemma decided to go shopping taking Logan with her promising to get her ice cream after. Harry had put the dog outside in the deck putting a dog proof gate latch at the bottom of the stairs to keep him from going to the backyard unattended afraid of him running away again when the day before he had dug a hole under the fence and had been missing for a whole day. Logan had cried almost all day refusing to go back inside until Buttercup was back screaming and kicking when Harry grabbed her to make her go inside falling asleep an hour later waking up to the dog sleeping on the floor next to the couch after coming back around dinner all dirty and Harry had given him a bath.

 

****

 

"Was this the last popsicle?" Louis asked Harry looking up at him with wide eyes still sucking on the popsicle.

 

They were in their bedroom laying down on the bed watching 21 Jump Street since Logan was not home and they could finally watch it without stopping it every time she would walk in wanting to watch one of her own movies and eat all of Louis' nachos pushing the jalapenos over to the side where Louis would eat them like candy.

 

"Yeah, I can text Gemma and ask her to bring more." Harry answered a little breathlessly seeing Louis sucking on the bright red cherry popsicle making his lips a nice shade of red.

 

"Nah it's okay, we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyway. Don't bother her and just kiss me." Louis said eating the last of the popsicle getting up on his knees to kiss him as best as he could finding it a little difficult when he was almost six months pregnant.

 

What started as a simple innocent kiss quickly turned filthy the moment Louis lightly bit Harry's bottom lip straddling his legs wanting to get closer to him but his stomach got in the way preventing him from doing so. He tugged on Harry's shirt taking it off throwing it somewhere in the room then accommodated himself right on top of Harry's crotch rolling his hips feeling him getting hard through his sweatpants. Louis froze when Harry tried to take his shirt off grabbing his hands in a tight grip pushing them away from his body holding them down on Harry's side while looking at him with wide blue eyes.

 

"We don't have to do anything if you don't want to." Harry quickly said rubbing the top of Louis' hands with his thumbs.

 

"I do want to but - but I don't want you to to see me naked, I look so fat and unattractive." Louis nearly whispered looking down at his outstretched stomach.

 

"Hey, love look at me." Harry smiled grabbing Louis' chin to make him look up at him. "You're pregnant, you're not fat and you're beautiful. I still and will always find you absolutely gorgeous and if you don't want to take it off then that's fine, if you're not comfortable without it then you can keep it on." 

 

Louis couldn't help the smile that spread across his face then leaned down to kiss him resuming what he had been doing driving Harry crazy at the way he moved his hips feeling him lowering his sweatpants down. He let out a muffled moan against Harry's lips when he felt his finger circling around his entrance wanting to push back stopping when Harry reached out for the lube watching as he covered his fingers on it waiting patiently until he felt one of his fingers entering him. After only getting quick hand jobs since the last time Louis had had Harry inside of him it felt like heaven as Harry added another finger stretching him open.

 

"Hurry...that's - that's enough." Louis panted against Harry's neck while he palmed him never stopping.

 

"It's gonna hurt, I - I need to..." Harry trailed off lifting his hips up so Louis could take his sweatpants off sighing and closing his eyes when the cool air assaulted his now fully erect cock.

 

"Shut up and help me." Louis whined trying to take his own sweatpants off struggling a bit. 

 

After struggling to get them off they were finally on the floor along with Harry's clothes then wasting no time Louis lowered himself on Harry's lubed up cock closing his eyes loving the burn and the feeling of being stretched open parting his lips forming an O shape. He stayed still trying to adjust then began rolling his hips around in circles before moving up then down again feeling Harry's grip tightening on his thighs and when he was too tired to move he stayed still letting Harry fuck into him hitting his spot every time as both of them couldn't keep quiet even if they tried. Louis could feel he was close as Harry kneaded his bum when his phone ringing loudly interrupted them while Harry kept going even though Louis was trying to grab it.

 

"Ignore it." Harry grabbed Louis' hands trapping them with one of his own latching onto his neck sucking satisfied with the red mark he left behind.

 

"What if - oh God...it could be i - important." Louis stuttered then shouted Harry's name coming all over him coating his butterfly tattoo.

 

"Oh f - fuck. Louis, I'm - I'm gonna..." Harry moaned trying to pull out but ended up coming inside of Louis just as the phone stopped ringing.

 

"I missed this...we should do it more often." Louis said after catching his breath then began blushing closing his eyes making Harry look at him with curiosity.

 

"What's wrong?" Harry asked them his eyes widened in realization when he put his hand on Louis' stomach next to his.

 

"We woke him up." Louis said feeling Evan kicking.

 

"...let's go shower before the girls get here." Harry blushed a deep red helping him get up then walked to the bathroom pulling Louis with him.

 

"But I need to see who called." Louis protested trying to go back.

 

"You can call them back later." Harry kissed him smiling when Louis followed.

 

After trying to convince him for what felt like hours Harry finally convinced Louis to take his shirt off smiling with adoration clear in his eyes when he fully saw Louis' baby bump where he knew their baby was safe and warm. He never would stop telling louis how beautiful he is making his cheeks go a little rosy while Harry kissed them hugging Louis close to him as the water cascaded over their naked bodies. 

 

Later that day they found themselves sitting in the keeping room shopping for baby clothes online arguing over a pair of tiny sweatshirt overalls that Harry wanted to get in dark blue color while Louis wanted them a light blue until Harry got two of each color adding them in the cart. They continued looking through more baby clothes buying a few long sleeved bodysuits complete with tiny hats and pants some of them white with bear designs and others blue and striped ones.

 

Instead of only buying clothes by the time they were done they were pretty much set in the clothing department after going overboard buying enough bodysuits to change him three times per day, tiny sweatpants that matched a pair Harry had, slippers and socks. Two hooded towels in white and blue when Harry wouldn't stop gushing over how cute they were, more hats after Harry insisted the weather was going to be cold and two sets of two pack toy story and little dinosaurs pajamas.

 

Louis wondered if he was going to have enough space for all the blue, white and light yellow blankets Harry was getting of different fabrics because according to his parenting book it helped the baby's brain development to have different fabrics to feel. He cooed at the tiny pair of tiny white soft sneakers, bibs and piqué cap he added into the cart adding a fine knit white cardigan and a pair of footed bodysuits himself.

 

"I think that's enough for now, they outgrow it pretty fast and we already got a lot." Louis sighed watching Harry click the check out box, eyes widening at the price about to tell Harry to take some out but Harry had already typed in his credit card number and paid without hesitating.

 

"They'll get here in a week...I should go start painting his bedroom, I got the paint you wanted yesterday on my way here from work." Harry smiled putting the laptop away.

 

"I'll help you." Louis quickly said.

 

"Lou, the paint fumes are bad for you and Evan and I don't want you to get hurt." Harry wrapped his arms around him hearing the front door opening and Logan's loud footsteps.

 

Moments later Gemma walked in followed by Logan and Butercup by her side who went straight to Louis putting his paws on his lap sniffing at his bloated belly before licking his hand then laid down by his feet falling asleep. Logan walked up to Louis trying to get on his lap wiggling around huffing when she couldn't get any closer to him like she used to then gasped when the baby kicked against her hand startling her a bit.

 

"Bubbie likes to kick you...that's not nice." Logan yawned.

 

"He's saying hi, that's the only way he can tell you he loves you for now." Louis smiled running his fingers through her hair feeling him kicking again against her small hand. "See? Even says he loves you and can't wait to meet you."

 

"It's Bubbie daddy, his name is Bubbie...not Evan." Logan got up kissing the top of his stomach then his cheek before crawling back to Gemma through the couch.

 

"That's what we call him but his name is Evan, I call you bug but your name is Logan." Harry explained.

 

"Oh. I have two names, does he have two names too daddy?" Logan asked grabbing a section of Gemma's hair to braid it.

 

Gemma listened to their conversation smiling at how cute her niece was and how much he loved her before speaking, "You haven't thought of a second name for him?"

 

"I was thinking about Evan Caden but I want something different." Louis thoughtfully said rubbing his stomach.

 

"Like what?" Harry asked pulling Louis to rest his head on his chest running his fingers through his soft shiny hair.

 

"Owen...Henry? Landon?" Louis raised an eyebrow putting each name next to Evan in his head.

 

"I like Landon because - because it's like London and we live in London, uncle Liam told me...but it's a secret that he told me." Logan beamed wrapping her arms around Gemma's neck as they laughed, she along with them.

 

"Say the whole name out loud Lou." Gemma suggested rubbing Logan's back.

 

"Umm okay, Evan Landon Styles-Tomlinson...sounds good but it's so long. Poor thing when he learns how to spell it." Louis pouted.

 

"So you like it?" Harry asked.

 

"Yeah I love it. Do you?" Louis looked up at him.

 

"Yeah I love it too." He smiled leaning his head on top of Louis'.

 

"What are you guys doing for the rest of the day? Logan and I are going to bake cupcakes...and then decorate them." Gemma poked her cheek earning a giggle and a kiss on the forehead from Logan.

 

"I'm going to paint Evan's room, we already shopped for baby clothes so now all we have to do is set up the nursery." Harry said getting ready to get up then left to get the paint.

 

"Oh! Louis I hope you don't mind but Logan and I picked out some things for the kiddo and we we want to show you them." Gemma said getting up with Logan in his arms.

 

"Thank you. You didn't had to but thank you, let me go talk to Harry first but I'll be right back." Louis said then walked toward Evan's room through the kitchen door.

 

"I'm gonna paint the ceiling too." Harry announced as soon as he saw Louis after changing into a pair of old jeans and an old tank top with a few holes, his hair pulled back with a bandana as Louis tried to focus on what he was saying instead of ogling his biceps and back muscles as he opened the container of paint.

 

"O - Okay, I'm gonna go see if Gemma needs help with those cupcakes." Louis licked his lips trying not to jump Harry's bones right there in their son's nursery, he turned around about to walk out when his phone started ringing again.

 

"Who is it?" Harry asked mixing the paint.

 

"Dr. Lane's office." Louis furrowed his brow putting it on speaker so Harry could hear too worrying that something could be wrong. "Hello?"

 

"Louis it's Jacob, I just wanted to see how you were doing." He happily greeted him while Louis couldn't help but notice the way Harry clenched his jaw mixing the paint a little more aggressively.

 

"I'm doing great, thanks for worrying. Just a little worried about him s'all but we're fine." Louis answered walking up to Harry lightly grabbing the hair on the back of his head and started massaging his scalp with the tip of his fingers.

 

"He'll be fine Lou...just know that if you ever need something or someone to talk to I'm here. I - I know we haven't talked or seen each other in almost five years and I was dumb to let you go but...maybe we could be friends, catch up over lunch or something one of these days." Jacob said letting out a small shaky breath at the end unaware that he was on speaker.

 

Louis tried to wrap his arm around Harry but he only felt air and empty space when Harry moved away from him walking over to the farthest wall and began painting ignoring them. He sighed and walked closer to him resting his forehead in between his shoulder blades putting the phone off speaker before talking.  
"Thank you. I - I have to go, we'll see you at our next appointment. Bye Jacob." Louis said then hung up after Jacob did.

 

"He needs to move on." Harry muttered giving the wall long strokes with the brush.

 

"What are you on about Haz? He just wanted to make sure we're fine and I'm doing well, nothing else." Louis mumbled wrapping his arms around Harry's torso kissing his back.

 

"Isn't obvious? He's still into you and can't let go which I think he should do starting now. He's the one who broke up with you." Harry rolled his eyes feeling Louis move away from him.

 

"Well he didn't had much of a choice after you beat him up." Louis muttered before he could stop them wishing he could take them back and have the floor swallow him the moment Harry stiffened and turned around wearing a blank expression. "Harry..."

 

"No, it's okay. I know I ruined what you two had, it was selfish of me to break you up with him...should've just stayed away and let you both live your lives together in peace." Harry swallowed the painful lump that had formed in his throat then turned around and continued painting.

 

"Harry I didn't mean it like that." Louis chewed on his bottom lip wishing Harry would believe him.

 

Jacob was in the past and even if he was back Louis no longer had feelings for him when Harry had and will always have his heart. He looked down then up again when he felt Harry's eyes on him burning a hole through him nearly choking in his own saliva at what Harry asked next.

 

"Were you in love with him? He was your first kiss after all."

 

"I - I..." 

 

"Thought so...I'm sorry for fucking everything up." Harry gave him a sad smile.

 

"Harry you're being dramatic. Yes I loved him but not like that, he - he was the one other than my friends who was always there for me after - after..."

 

"Say it! He was there to comfort you after I was a homophobic ass hole to you, he was everything I never was. He was your knight in shining armor and I was just your tormentor." Harry said not realizing he was shouting and towering over Louis in that same threatening way he used to before a beating until he saw Louis was crying. 

 

"Lou..." Harry whispered raising his hand to reach out for him feeling chest painfully tightening when Louis flinched taking a step back.

 

"You're an ass hole! I told you it's all in the past but you're the one who can't move on." Louis shouted turning around to walk out of there as fast as his feet could carry him wiping his tears away supporting his stomach with the other.

 

"Louis." Harry pleaded going after him.

 

"Fuck you!" Louis shouted seeing through the stair railing down at the great room where Gemma was carrying a crying Logan out to the deck with the dog after them and when he locked eyes with his daughter's he saw the fear in them pissing him off even more.

 

"Louis please...stop..." Harry followed him down the stairs making Louis walk faster trying to get away from him and lock himself in his bedroom.

 

If Harry could go back in time and change what had happened from the moment Louis hung up to Louis walking away from him he would do up in a heartbeat when he saw Louis losing his balance almost at the bottom of the stairs trying to hold onto something screaming Harry's name at the top of his lungs. Harry had never moved that fast ever before in his life as he did in that moment managing to grab the back of Louis' shirt stopping the fall grunting when his shoulder made contact with the handrail trying to pull Louis back to him and stop himself from falling down with and on top of him.

 

"Shh shh you're okay, you're okay." Harry repeated like a mantra while Louis cried hysterically grabbing him by the arms digging his nails on his skin.

 

"Harry! I'm so - I'm so - rry." Louis started shaking gasping for air.

 

"Louis breathe, you have to calm down. Breathe with me, in, out." Harry grabbed his face to make him look at him as he slowly inhaled then exhaled getting Louis to calm down.  
"Harry..." Louis sobbed hiding his face on Harry's chest still shaking feeling Evan moving before he went still.

 

"Are you okay? Did you hit yourself, where does it hurt?" Harry asked wanting to check but couldn't when Louis wrapped his arms around him crying harder.

 

He carefully picked him up from the steps cradling him against his chest carrying him to their bedroom ignoring the pain shooting out from his shoulder and set him down on the bed where Louis clung to him not wanting to let go. Without saying anything he layed down next to him and wrapped his arms around him shielding him from view with his body as he kissed his tears away whispering I love you's until Louis calmed down enough to stop shaking but his eyes were red and swollen, his face flushed and wet from the tears. He didn't noticed he was crying too until Louis began wiping his tears off with his sleeves and grabbed fistfulls of his tank top letting out a hiccup.

 

"I - I c - could have k - killed h - him." Louis hicupped, another wave of tears rolling down his temple.

 

"He's okay Lou, you're both okay." Harry kissed his forehead. "I'm gonna call Dr. Lane."

 

"Don't leave me, we're okay...he's - he's moving."

 

"I'm sorry, shouldn't have said those things. You almost got hurt because of me, I'm sorry." Harry said feeling Louis' hand on his cheek.

 

"I shouldn't have walked out like that, I wasn't thinking. I love you...only you."

 

"You know I love you too, I just don't want to lose you." Harry closed his eyes.

 

"You're not going to lose me, never. Stay here..." Louis yawned closing his own eyes relaxing in Harry's arms.

 

Louis smiled when Harry draped the covers over them and kissed his knuckles falling asleep a few minutes later still a bit frightened while Harry started crying again knowing both of them could have gotten seriously hurt all because of his jealousy, he knew Louis loved him but still couldn't help but feel helpless with Jacob around. He had been horrible to Louis while Jacob had been loving and accepting towards him, had wiped away his tears when he was the one to make him cry and that was something he couldn't forget.

 

"Yeah Bubbie, you're right... I'm an idiot. Your dad's an idiot." Harry mumbled when he felt him move. "And you agree huh." Harry smiled when he kicked.

 

He tightened his grip on Louis and buried his face on Louis' hair smelling the sweet scent of his shampoo deciding to sleep a little before going back to painting falling asleep unaware of Gemma motioning to Logan to be quiet going back to the kitchen after closing the door leaving them alone in their slumber holding each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Thoughts? :)


	32. A moment of love, a dream, a laugh, a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry it took me forever to update, this time it was pure laziness and I'm sorry.  
> I hope you like the chapter. Also, I have a feeling I already used that gif on another chapter so if I did and you remember please let me know. Enjoy. :)

Harry slowly opened his eyes taking a deep breath seeing Louis still half asleep next to him and after kissing the tip of his nose he slowly got up fixing the covers around him then made his way to the kitchen where he could smell the cupcakes baking. When he walked in Gemma immediately looked at him from where she was mixing the icing for the cupcakes giving him a sad look before giving Logan more pasta shaped in elbows and a bottle of glue. She was sitting on the breakfast table with her back to Harry next to Gemma who was at the head of the table still letting out tiny hiccups and her nose and eyes were a little red.

 

"Watcha doing princess?" He asked taking a seat next to her leaning closer to her to kiss her forehead.

 

"A macaloni heart...It's for daddy and Bubbie." Logan mumbled grabbing the bottle of glittery blue glue soaking the white construction paper with it before spreading it around with her finger then carefully added the macaroni one by one.

 

"I'm sure they're going to love it." Harry smiled.

 

"This one's for you." Logan looked up at him giving him a piece of white construction paper with his very own macaroni heart and the words 'My curly' written in her own handwriting on the lower right corner of the paper surrounded by messy tiny red hearts making his heart swell with joy and love.

 

"I love it sweety. Thank you, it's beautiful." Harry genuinely said complimenting her work making her smile pleased with his reaction before going back to working on the one for Louis.

 

"Harry could I talk to you?" Gemma got up walking to the kitchen island where the cupcakes where cooling off in a rack followed by her brother.

 

"What is it Gems?" He questioned her watching her setting the bowl aside.

 

"Are you and Louis okay? Harry what happened? I-I heard Louis crying and then I saw you carrying him to your bedroom...Logan was very upset, she heard you guys screaming at each other." Gemma wrapped an arm around him when his lips trembled and he began tearing up getting worried that something could be really wrong.

 

"It was my fault Gems. We were fighting and he almost fell down the stairs...if I wasn't such a jealous idiot then none of that would've happened." Harry hid his face on his hands feeling his sister rubbing his back.

 

"Both of them are okay right?" Gemma began panicking.

 

"I managed to stop him from falling but...I was so scared, they could have gotten seriously hurt, we could have lost our son."

 

"If you don't mind me asking, why were you fighting? It's not like you to fight out of nowhere."

 

"You remember Jacob? Louis' ex boyfriend?" Harry asked then continued when she nodded. "He's the ultrasound technician in Dr. Lane's office and before Louis and I started fighting he called him and told him that if he ever needed something or someone to talk to that he was there for him then said he was dumb to let him go asking if they could be friends and catch up over lunch. I told Louis he needed to move on because he's the one who broke up with him and Louis said he didn't had much choice after I beat him up."

 

"Harry." Gemma groaned smacking the back of his head.

 

"Yes, I know I'm an idiot and that I have no reason to be jealous but they dated Gemma, they kissed, they held hands and he was good to him when I was a monster. I can't help it because I'm not good enough for Louis, never will be and I'm scared he's going to leave me. I'm scared he's going to take the kids and go back to him." Harry let it all out looking like a small child scared of everything and insecure.

 

"He's not going to leave you knucklehead, he loves you and your both finally happy and have the perfect family you both always wanted. He's not going to throw away all of that and he's right Harry, you can't move on but you have to if you want to make this work. He forgave you Haz, he moved on and you have to do it too for the sake of your children and Louis." Gemma wrapped her arm around his waist letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

 

"I know he forgave me and I'm so grateful he did but that doesn't mean I'll ever forgive myself for what I did to him, all that pain I put him through...I wish I could go back and change it all. I still...I still have nightmares about it, they're not as frequent as they used to be but they're still there and instead of waking up sweating and trying to breathe I just lay there frozen until they go away." Harry closed his eyes then opened them again.

 

"You need to talk to him Harry. Communicate...don't just bottle everything up like you already did, it's not just you and Louis that you have to think about anymore...you have a daughter and a son on the way who need you. Two kids that need both of their parents so talk to him." She adviced kissing his cheek before letting go of him.

 

"I will after I'm sure of what I want to say, right now I have to finish Evan's room." Harry smiled a little then left after giving Logan a hug and a kiss.

 

A few hours later just before dinner Louis woke up from his slumber trying to get closer to Harry frowning when he felt the spot next to him empty and cold then laid there trying to fully wake up. He slowly sat up running his eyes then looked around slowly tearing up when he remembered he could have lost his baby boy wrapping his arms around his stomach out of instinct only wanting to protect him.

 

"I hope you're doing okay in there baby...I promise I'm going to be more careful next time. I want you to stay in there until you're ready to come out so your other daddy and I can hold you. I hope you're not blind but just know that if you are we'll still love you, I will always love you no matter what sweety." Louis spoke in a hushed tone rubbing circles on his belly with his thumbs. "I bet you're gonna be so handsome like daddy curly and I honestly wouldn't mind if you have blue eyes like me, your sister has green eyes you know...I think you having my eyes will be lovely. Is kicking me your way to tell me you agree? Yeah I thought so."

 

He stayed in bed for a few more minutes before getting up making his way to the bathroom and after relieving himself and washing his hands making his way towards the kitchen petting the dog on his way there a little nervous about seeing Harry then took a deep breath knowing he wasn't mad and they needed to talk. He was disappointed when Harry wasn't in there leaving him wondering where he could be, he smiled seeing Gemma sitting on a barstool reading a magazine and Logan by her feet playing with the hot wheels Harry had gotten her after she had to pick between a Barbie doll and the cars.

 

"Hey..." He shyly greeted them knowing they had heard the fight.

 

"Hey Lou, how are you feeling?" Gemma smiled getting up to hug him careful not to step on Logan.

 

"I'm feeling good...You know what happened don't you?" Louis asked when he noticed she looked concerned.

 

"Yeah...Harry told me and I'm just glad you and the baby are okay."

 

"I shouldn't have run off like that, wasn't watching where I was going." Louis looked down in shame.

 

"What matters is that you're both okay and I wanted to know if you guys want to go out for dinner. I already asked Harry and he said only if you're feeling up to it." Gemma pouted silently begging with her eyes.

 

"Okay...let me go change and change Logan." Louis said then laughed when Gemma cheered and grabbed his cheeks smacking a kiss to his forehead.

 

"Yes! Let me go tell Harry to get ready then I need to get ready." Gemma ran out shouting at Harry to get ready leaving Louis and Logan behind.

 

"Hi baby, what are you doing?" Louis asked wanting to sit on the floor with her but then he would need help getting up again.

 

"Racing. I made this for you and Bubbie." Logan got up to give him the art project she had been working on earlier.

 

"You made this for me and Bubble?" Louis gasped looking at the heart filled with macaroni.

 

"Yes. I made another one for daddy curly." Logan smiled trying to hug Louis around the waist settling with grabbing him by the shirt resting her left cheek against his tummy.

 

"It's perfect and I love it, thank you baby." Louis genuinely said picking her up even though Harry didn't allow it anymore unless he was sitting.

 

"I love it too." Logan sighed wrapping her arms around his neck.

 

"Let's go change you out of these clothes so we can go out to dinner." Louis kissed her cheek.

 

He set her down after she gave him a kiss and grabbed her hand to go upstairs to her room and when he had to go up the stairs he did it as carefully as he could holding tight onto the handrail and Logan's hand with his other hand. He knew she could do it on her own but at the moment he was still paranoid. He walked by Evan's nursery stopping when he saw Harry standing in the middle of it admiring the ceiling and three out of the four walls already painted a soft baby blue. He had paint stains all over his tank top and jeans as well as a little bit on his cheek when Louis walked in pulling Logan with him wrapping his arms around him startling him.

 

"Do you like it?" Harry asked. A glint of hope in his eyes.

 

"I love it. I was thinking maybe I could paint a few clouds on the walls." Louis kissed the back of his neck smiling when Harry grabbed his hands and laced their fingers together.

 

"That would be lovely." He responded turning around seeing Louis and Logan sucking on her thumb looking around.

 

"Gemma wants to go out for dinner, go get changed while I change Logan." Louis gave him a quick kiss then pushed him to the door choosing to go to her room through the bathroom.

 

~*~

 

"Table for four." Harry smiled at the host.

 

She led them to a table in a well lit and spacious part of the restaurant asking what they wanted to drink leaving the menus behind. Both Gemma and Louis ended up ordering Fetuccine Alfredo while Harry ordered Chicken Alfredo for himself and chicken fingers and pasta for Logan who was busy playing rock, paper, scissors with Gemma. After the food arrived Harry was happily sitting next to Louis and in front of Gemma and Logan with his arm around his shoulders feeding him some of his chicken after Louis had stated the baby wanted some when he noticed Jacob sitting at a table across from them with a young woman occasionally looking at them.

 

He fought the urge to roll his eyes and instead pulled Louis closer to him kissing his temple then his hair making Louis smile while chewing the chicken Harry had just fed him. The whole meal went by smoothly until Logan spilled sauce on her skirt and started tearing up not wanting to have a stain on it until Gemma took her to the bathroom to clean it up leaving them alone. Harry tried to ignore Jacob focusing only on Louis rubbing his tummy talking to their baby and whispering on his ear how much he loved him and their babies while Louis smiled pulling him in by the back of his neck to give him a kiss, both of them oblivious to Jacob watching them with a hurt expression directing his gaze the other way where he wouldn't be able to see their happy family anymore.

 

"Ready to go?" Harry asked as soon as Gemma and Logan came back already having paid for their meals.

 

"Yes brother, we're ready." Gemma said getting up again after just sitting down.

 

"We parked too far away, wait here while I go get the car." Harry said helping Louis up whose feet were swollen and killing him.

 

"Yeah sure go ahead." Gemma nodded grabbing Logan's hand following them near the exit where Louis took a seat on a chair followed by Gemma setting Logan down in between them. "Ugh I have to take this call, I'll be right back." Gemma said pointing to her phone then got up walking to the bathroom.

 

"You and I are gonna wait here love." Louis managed to grab Logan by the arm when she tried to follow her.

 

"Okay...daddy I want to go home." She sighed leaning her head against Louis' stomach poking it a bit and giggling when Evan would kick back.

 

"Let's go look at the fishes." Louis smiled getting up to observe the aquarium near the entrance pulling his daughter with him, he took his phone out and took a picture of her smiling while observing the colorful fishes.

 

"Louis."

 

"Yeah? Oh...hi Jacob." Louis turned around to see Jacob standing a few feet away from them just as Logan wrapped her arms around him and hid her face on his belly peering up at him a few times.

 

"How have you been? Everything okay with the baby?" He asked then lowered his gaze to look at Logan and Louis' swollen stomach with Harry's child.

 

"Good and he's fine. Are you here by yourself?" Louis asked hoping for him to leave before Harry or Gemma showed up.

 

"No, I'm here with my friend. Hi Logan." Jacob smiled down at her finding her adorable.

 

"Hi." She mumbled looking at him then at Louis before hiding her face again.

 

"She's gorgeous, has a bit of you and Harry...especially him." Jacob said offering the lollipop he had gotten for himself to Logan who took it after Louis nodded.

 

"Thank you." Logan smiled a little trying to open it until Louis took it to open it then gave it back to her.

 

"Are you excited about your baby brother? I bet you're gonna be the best big sister ever." Jason crouched down in front of her. "He's going to be the luckiest baby for having sister like you and a daddy like Louis."

 

"I know." She answered as if stating the obvious. "Bubbie loves me and I love him 'cause he's mine. Daddies are having Bubbie 'cause they love each other, daddy Louis told me."

 

"That's...nice." Jacob gave her a sad smile.

 

"No kicking Bubbie." She giggled poking his belly.

 

"I'm gonna go. It was nice seeing you, I'll see you at your next appointment." Jacob quickly said before leaving just as Gemma came back from the bathroom.

 

"Harry back yet?" She asked just as Harry walked through the door.

 

They finally got in the car where Harry kept playing with the radio until he got fed up and instead plugged in his phone smiling when pour some sugar on me, the rock of ages version, came on leaving it there only turning the volume up while Louis and Gemma stared at him and Logan began to move her head from side to side looking out the window.

 

"What are we even listening to?" Louis asked covering his belly with his arms as if trying to keep the baby from listening to it.

 

"Pour some sugar on me...Louis we used to listen to it all the time to annoy Gemma." Harry said in a duh tone then smiled when Louis remembered nodding and smiling.

 

"Oh my God turn it off." Gemma groaned covering Logan's ears with her hands. "Louis, Harry's going to ruin your child's music taste. Do something."

 

"Love is like a bomb, baby c'mon get it on livin' like a lover with a radar phone, looking like a tramp, like a video vamp. Demolition woman, can I be your man?" Harry started singing as soon as the song started over just to annoy her.

 

"Shut up, no one likes that song or you singing." Gemma complained getting even more annoyed when Harry continued singing louder. "Logan hates it too."

 

"I like it daddy." Logan chirped giggling when she saw Gemma's betrayed expression.

 

"Ha! In your face sister." Harry exclaimed turning the volume down a bit.

 

"Of course you do babycakes, you're fifty percent Harry so you're forced to like what he likes but don't you worry because you're also fifty percent Louis and he's got brains unlike your father the knucklehead...you're all good." Gemma said using a fake sad tone running her fingers through her curls.

 

"Says the girl who used to think Ralph the elf was real." Harry smirked when he heard her gasping.

 

"You traitor! You promised to never talk about it ever again." Gemma whined while Louis looked back and forth between them in amusement.

 

"Oops." Was all he said.

 

"Loser."

 

"Wannabe."

 

"That's enough you two." Louis interrupted just as Gemma opened her mouth.

 

"Yeah Harold...just chill out bro." Genma smirked going back to Logan.

 

~*~

 

The following weekend was hectic trying to get ready for their families and friends to turn up also dealing with Louis' moodiness, increased cravings and sex drive that Harry couldn't really complain about since he was as insatiable as Louis was. They tried to be sneaky sticking to morning and shower quickies almost getting caught by Logan once when she had slammed the door open just as they were done putting their clothes back on demanding breakfast because she was hungry and auntie Gemma was in the shower. Everything was ready for their Saturday afternoon get together waiting for their parents, the girls and their friends to get there while Logan kept asking Louis when was Alex going to get there.

 

******

 

"Look at you, baby you're glowing." Jay cooed hugging her son as tight as she could.

 

"Got a date for my grandson's arrival?" Mark asked.

 

"Around November 20th." Louis smiled.

 

"Oh Louis, come here and let me hug you." Anne pulled him into a hug tearing up at seeing Louis' not so small baby bump. "Three more months to go huh?"

 

"Yeah! Harry and I already set up the nursery and he painted the walls while I painted some clouds. I'll show you it later." Louis proudly told her.

 

"Harry's so excited." Anne smiled.

 

Louis showed them the house getting compliments while his sisters clung to him cooing at the nursery where they still had to buy a bedding for the crib but to Louis it looked beautiful. On his way to the great room he heard Mark and Robin talking about the many things they were going to teach their grandson. When it was time to tell them about Evan's possible condition Anne had burst out crying calming down when Harry hugged her telling her it would be okay also hugging Jay. After they calmed down Anne was left alone with Louis helping him with cutting the cake Gemma had baked.

 

"How have you been feeling?" Anne asked glancing at Louis.

 

"Great. He does like to kick up a storm, especially when I'm trying to sleep. He's kicking right now." Louis smiled.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah...here, just press right there." Louis grabbed her hand placing it over the spot where Evan was kicking hearing her let out a gasp followed by tears.

 

"I'm sorry...I just...this is the first time I feel one of my baby's baby kick. My grandbaby, I can't wait to hold him" Anne wiped away a few tears.

 

"Don't cry, he's just saying 'hi Ninna'." Louis smiled hugging her when she started crying again.

 

After making sleeping arrangements it was decided Gemma would be sleeping in Logan's other bed while Anne and Robin took the other bedroom and Jay and Mark downstairs in the basement or Logan's play room where there was a spare bedroom and bathroom. Logan had insisted on sleeping with the twins on an air mattress while the two older girls shared another one.

 

The next to arrive were Liam and Eleanor who by request of Louis began telling the story of how they started dating soon after Zayn, Niall, David and Brian got there leaving Alex to be taken by Logan to play with the twins and Buttercup while Lottie was deep in conversation with Gemma and Fizzy watched the kids. Turns out Eleanor made the first move kissing Liam when he wouldn't stop talking about the weather then proceeded to apologize with a bright red face telling him she really liked him and enjoyed spending time with him but it was okay if he didn't liked her getting surprised when Liam kissed her back. Niall and especially Zayn teased her about it until Liam made them stop directing the conversation somewhere else.

 

******

 

"Logan for God's sake put that back where you found it." Harry let out at unmanly shriek when he saw what she had in her hand.

 

"Look daddy, it's wiggly." Logan giggled while Alex poked it with a stick.

 

"Wiggly and gross. C'mon, we gotta go eat or we're gonna starve. You have to let her go." Harry crouched down in front of them when she flat out refused to do it pouting and hiding the worm against her chest.

 

"But she'll be lonely and sad." Logan pouted while Alex furiously nodded doing everything she wanted him to do.

 

"No she won't." Harry insisted looking at both kids.

 

"She's going to die...I don't want her to die." Alex started tearing up wiping his hands on his black iron man shirt setting Logan up in tears too.

 

"She's not going to die, she has daddies that are looking for her and they're sad because they can't find her and she misses them too. You have to let her go so she can go back to her daddies." Harry explained.

 

"Okay...go back to your daddies. Go." Logan crouched down putting her down near the bushes where she had found it.

 

"Okay now that it's all settled lets go wash our hands." Harry smiled picking them up to take them to wash their hands.

 

"I will ride, I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky. I will fly, chase the wind and touch the sky." Logan and Alex sang in unison while all three of them washed their hands in the kitchen sink.

 

"I don't want you touching them again, got it?" Harry told her after letting Alex go back to his parents explaining what had happened.

 

"Chill out bro." Logan huffed then took off running to get the seat next to Alex and Daisy leaving a flabbergasted Harry behind.

 

"You okay Haz?" Louis asked walking up to him holding a few plates then back at Logan.

 

"She just told me to chill out and called me bro."

 

"We'll talk to her but let's go eat for now." Louis chuckled letting him take the plates.

 

"Uncle Zayn, I touched the worm!" Logan exclaimed getting a high five from Zayn.

 

"Zayn! Don't encourage her, that's gross." Eleanor scrunched up her nose in disgust.

 

"Oh c'mon El, you licked dirt when we were eleven." Zayn said making her blush.

 

"Niall dared me." She defended herself.

 

"And you did it, no questions asked." Niall smirked.

 

"I've done it before, we should be proud we accomplished something they all didn't." Brian smiled at Eleanor while David talked to Louis exchanging tips on how to sleep more comfortable since Louis wasn't getting any sleep lately.

 

Both families ended up going back home Sunday afternoon leaving Logan in tears when Gemma had to go back too and their parents had left heartbroken but knowing they would love their grandson no matter what after Louis and Harry had told them he could be blind. Louis' sisters had made him promise to call them as soon as Evan got there then proceeded to shower Logan with kisses and give Harry and Louis a hug touching Louis' belly one more time to feel the baby move before they left.

 

~*~

 

"Can't you change it to another day? Grace, Louis has an appointment and I don't want to miss it...I'm pretty sure you can work something out." Louis heard Harry speaking on the phone when he walked in to tell him he and Logan were ready. "Grace...the appointment is today, they can't just expect me to drop everything for it...well Louis is more important...I know I really need it and I'm in no position to reject it right now but it's his 24th week check up and I don't want to miss anything."

 

"Logan and I can go on our own if you want to." Louis spoke startling Harry after he ended the call.

 

"No, I told Grace to cancel. The pay is good but they should've let me know at least a week before. Are you ready?" Harry wrapped his arms around him nuzzling his face on his hair.

 

"Yeah. Harry I think you should go, you're the only one bringing money into the house and if you're not gonna let me pay for anything then you need to go." Louis insisted resting his head on his shoulder hearing Logan's loud laughs mingling with Buttercup's barks having left her in the foyer chasing each other.

 

"But I don't want you to go alone Lou, I want to be there with you." Harry pulled back and pouted to try and convince him.

 

"I'm not gonna go alone, Logan's going with me plus I have to go the grocery store 'cause we're running low on food then I have to buy Logan's school supplies but I'll bring you pictures and a DVD of the ultrasound." Louis promised.

 

"Are you sure you'll be okay driving there..."

 

"I am...I used to drive myself to appointments when Eleanor or the boys couldn't go with me. I'll be fine." Louis gave him a chaste kiss nuzzling his face against his neck when he looked down.

 

"Okay, but text me when you get there and when you get to other places and here." Harry kissed him one more time before they pulled apart to call Grace back and give Logan a kiss on the way out.

 

~*~

 

"Hi Louis, Logan. I expected Harry to be here too." Jacob greeted them with a big smile and a glint of something in his eyes seeing only Louis and Logan waiting.

 

"He had to work but he'll definitely be here next time." Louis said laying down on the exam table after making sure Logan would stay put on her chair with his phone in her hand.

 

"Hello Louis. Look at you young lady, you're getting bigger and bigger everyday." Dr. Lane greeted them walking in just as Jacob was about to pour the gel over his belly.

 

"Hi." Louis smiled.

 

"How have you been feeling. Any new symptoms?" She asked feeling around on his stomach then motioned for Jacob to start the ultrasound stopping her conversation to listen to the baby's heartbeats.

 

"I've been getting leg cramps during the night, my back hurts and my ankles and feet are really swollen." Louis explained turning to look at his and Harry's baby smiling when he saw him sucking his thumb.

 

"Common pregnancy symptoms but they should go away soon. His heartbeats are strong and right now he's the size of a cantaloupe, overall he's perfectly healthy...oh and I also want to do a glucose test to see how well your body handles sugar.." She said before giving him a bottle of Glucola after Jacob gently cleaned up his stomach.

 

"I'll go get your pictures." Jacob smiled.

 

"Wait! Could you get me a video too? I want to show Harry." Louis said watching Jacob's smile disappear then nod before he left the room.

 

An hour later Louis' test came back normal and after wrestling his phone out of Logan's hands he sent Harry a text telling him they were both completely healthy as he got ready to leave giving the phone back to his daughter. He was mentally planning what to make for dinner as well as remembering he also had to buy her a backpack for school since it was a week away and buy a few things for the baby when he heard Jacob calling his name.

 

"Do you have a minute?" He asked.

 

"Something wrong?" Louis asked.

 

"No...I just wanted to talk."

 

"About what?"

 

"About us." Jacob nearly pleaded.

 

"Jacob...there's nothing to talk about-"

 

"I know but I just need to know a few things, that's all?"

 

"What things?" Louis asked holding Logan's hand tighter seeing her busy with his phone.

 

"Did-did you ever loved me? Were you cheating on me with Harry while we were still dating?" He asked looking down at Logan as if pointing out the result of his fling was right there standing next to Louis holding his hand then looked back at Louis.

 

"Seriously?" Louis asked hiding her behind him. "How dare you even think that. I never cheated on you." He snapped getting annoyed.

 

"She was conceived around the time we were dating and we never slept together thanks to Harry...was it because you were already sleeping with him instead?" Jacob desperately asked.

 

"I never cheated on you...and you broke up with me so what I did with my life after that is none of your business." Louis glared.

 

"I broke up with you because he threatened to beat you up worse if I didn't...I-I was just trying to protect you and then you went and slept with him. Not only that but you were stupid enough to let him knock you up." Jacob spat unable to control himself.

 

"And if I did so what? It's none of your business." Louis took a step back.

 

"It would've hurt less if it had been someone else, not him. He made your life hell and you went and started a family with him. I was in love with you Louis." Jacob finally let the tears fall down making Louis feel horrible.

 

"I'm sorry...you knew how I felt about him and you. You broke up with me then left town the next day and it really hurt because you didn't even said goodbye. If you had stayed there until the last week of school to wait for me and walk me home like you used to then maybe we wouldn't be having this conversation. It's been five years now and what's done is done...can't go back now." Louis said trying not to cry.

 

"I know...can-can we forget all about it then? I just needed to say that." Jacob looked down accepting he had lost him when he left him.

 

"Yeah, it's all in the past. I-I have to go." Louis sighed.

 

"Yeah, I'll see you here in four weeks." Jacob nodded watching Louis leave pulling Logan with him who looked back smiling and waving at him and all he could do was smile back and wave back. She was not the one to blame, her other father was.

 

That night Louis showed Harry the video smiling when Harry hugged him seeing Evan sucking on his thumb then went to bed after Logan showed him her new backpack for school telling him that Alex was in her class too after David had called to let Louis know since he worked at the school's main office. Louis slept next to Harry in his arms resting his stomach on Harry's own one trying to stop feeling guilty when he kept remembering Jacob letting his guard down. He swore to never let him find out what had really happened when he stopped walking him home not wanting the past to come back when he was happy with the father of his children, all he wanted was to be happy and forget about everything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mqo9sf9V7t1rko18bo1_500_zps8f8ccf70.gif.html)   
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> Thoughts? :)


	33. We'd remember tonight, for the rest of our lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it you guys! The song I was just listening to while typing and I got the chapter title from it. I hope you guys like it. Enjoy! :)
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> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUIxUGetv44

Louis rushed around the kitchen wanting to leave it clean watching Logan from time to time slowly eating her oatmeal while Harry showered after going for a run around the neighborhood as soon as a cardiologist and Dr. Summers had given him the okay to do so. It was Logan's first day of school and the more time she took to finish her breakfast the more Louis thought she was stalling after she had figured out during the weekend that they were only going to drop her off and leave her there from nine in the morning till twelve thirty at noon. She had been taking selfies with Harry making the craziest faces so they could send one to Gemma when Harry accidentally let it slip out.

 

"You done eating? You still have to put your shoes on." Louis asked as he loaded the dishwasher.

 

"Not yet." She mumbled.

 

Louis sighed trying to be patient with his daughter going back to cleaning then after he was done he took a seat at the breakfast bar next to Logan typing a list of all the things he and Harry still had to get for Evan having decided to get them while Logan was in school. They wanted to get everything now that Louis was nearing his 26th week and the end of his sixth month mark. He hadn't mentioned what Jacob had told him not wanting to create a conflict between them and instead forgot about it focusing only on his family.

 

"You guys ready?" Harry walked in freshly showered grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl.

 

"Not yet." Logan sighed then swallowed a spoonful of oatmeal.

 

"It's eight thirty Logan, you needed to eat faster...and put your shoes on." Harry kissed the top of her head before giving Louis his full attention kissing him. "Are you done with it?"

 

"Yeah. You feeling okay after that run?" Louis asked placing a hand over his chest where his heart was.

 

"Never been better...and seeing you both made it even better." He smiled wrapping his arms around him kissing the top of his head.

 

"Love you." Louis whispered.

 

"I love you too."

 

"Okay, we gotta go or you're going to be late for your first day of school. Aren't you excited!?" Louis exclaimed then frowned at the bored expression she gave him then the teary one she directed towards Harry.

 

"Daddy I don't want to go to school...I want to stay here with you and daddy Louis and Bubbie and Buttercup." Logan lifted her arms up in the air wrapping them around Harry's neck when he picked her up.

 

"Why not? Yesterday you said you were a big girl and big girls have to go to school." Harry pecked her cheek.

 

"Auntie Gemma and auntie El don't go to school, Ninna and Nana don't go to school...I don't have to go to school." Logan insisted playing with Harry's necklace.

 

"They went to school but they're done because they're old and you're not old, daddy and I went to school too but we don't have to go anymore because we're old and now we work." Harry explained as he crouched down to grab her light blue and gray vans along with her socks to put them on thanking the gods she was already dressed up in a pair of jeans and a white print top with light blue zebras design.

 

"I work and you go to school...Bubbie and daddy have to go too." Logan grinned proud of herself for solving the issue.

 

"You have to go to school first so you can work and Bubbie's still in my tummy but when he comes out he won't be able to go because he'll be a little baby. You didn't had to go to school when you came out of my tummy because you were a baby too." Louis explained getting up to get his wallet so they could head out now that she had her shoes on and bag on her back with a snack inside of it along with the rest of her school supplies.

 

"I came out of your tummy too?" Logan gasped eyeing his stomach with wide skeptical eyes.

 

"You did love...and you used to kick a whole lot more than your brother does." Louis smiled grabbing her hand walking to the garage with Harry following.

 

"And you had me like you're gonna have Bubbie because you and daddy love each other so much when I was made in your tummy?" She asked just as Louis picked her up to help her in the car making him freeze.

 

He turned his head around to look at Harry who was looking back at them with wide shiny eyes, a sign that he wanted to cry. Louis gave him a tiny reassuring smile motioning for him to start the car then turned back to Logan to buckle her up.

 

"Yeah, daddy and I love each other so much and that's why we made you inside my tummy like we made Bubbie." Louis answered kissing her forehead before closing the door and walking to the passenger's side waiting for Harry to drive.

 

They made their way to the school listening to pour some sugar on me or the sugar song like Logan called it and Louis couldn't help but notice how Evan would stay still during sex or while it was playing since Harry played it so often Logan knew it left and right. She was singing along with Harry and giggling until they parked and Logan refused to get out of the car holding tight onto the seatbelt while Harry tried to pry it out of her hands. He finally managed to get her out and set her down as soon as she saw some of the other kids willingly walking into the building holding hands with one or both their parents then looked at her own grabbing their hands as if saying she was ready. As they got closer and closer to her classroom Louis started feeling as if he was giving her away and would never see his baby girl ever again and began thinking about grabbing her and making a run for it to go back home so all three of them could cuddle in bed all morning with the dog who was left in his cage in the laundry room.

 

"Harry, maybe we should wait another year...yeah let's wait another year." Louis looked over at Harry almost panicking at having to leave his most precious possession behind with strangers.

 

"Louis is just for three and a half hours from Monday to Friday. She'll be fine and this year is the right one for her to start school, not the next one or the one after that." Harry lazily smiled trying not to freak out himself.

 

"I just...yeah you're right. I'm just going through separation anxiety and look...she's all fine. She won't even miss us after we're gone because she's gonna have a lot of fun...without us." Louis took a deep breath before they walked into her assigned classroom.

 

They were greeted by a colorful beach themed classroom where the white board had black squares of black paper at the end on either side with pictures and in the middle of the white board 'Welcome to Pre K' was spelled in different color letters. On either side of the board there was a bulletin board and in front of it a few tables for four with markers and name strips. They were amazed at how perfectly everything was organized including the different learning centers that were color coded. Pink for reading, blue for writing, orange for art, purple for math, yellow for science, red for sensory/discovery and green for dramatic play. Louis just knew he had picked the right school and having had Logan on the waiting list for two years had been worth it. She was still holding hands with them looking around the classroom with curious eyes until she spotted Alex sitting at one of the tables next to a dark haired girl wearing a light pink dress holding his little hand.

 

"Logan!" Alex nearly shouted quickly letting go of her hand to run to her going back to the table pulling her with him making her seat next to him on his other side.

 

"Hello, I'm Mrs. Teasdale. Your daughter's teacher." A blond cheery woman greeted them shaking their hands as they introduced themselves.

 

"Don't worry, she's going to be okay. Alex, Lux and Tabitha are great kids and I'm sure she'll get along with them just fine." She reassured them noticing their worried looks as they noticed the cute little blond girl sitting with them.

 

"She's a social butterfly." Harry said with pride in his voice watching her running back to them just as Mrs. Teasdale left to greet other parents congratulating them on their baby.

 

"Bye daddies, I love you lots." Logan tried to wrap her arms around both of them then kissed Louis' belly. "I love you too Bubbie, don't come out when I'm not there."

 

"Bye baby, Bubbie and I love you too...I'll see you later." Louis hugged her tight kissing the top of her head then both of her cheeks.

 

"Be a good girl lovebug, I love you too the moon and back." Harry gave her a watery smile crouching down to hug her and kiss her forehead feeling his chest tightening knowing she was growing way too fast while Louis noticed the girl that had been holding Alex's hand looking at them with an annoyed look.

 

After making sure Logan was back in her seat they left but not before saying goodbye to her teacher and a quick hello to David and Brian who was still there in the main office saying his goodbye for the day to his husband. As soon as they were in the car they drove straight to Babies R Us already having registered a few days before making it easier for them with all the discounts and offers choosing to get a bedding set for the crib first then go for the diapering, bath and feeding items they were going to need. 

 

They passed by the safety section only getting a baby monitor already having outlet covers and plugs set around the house and because the cart was already full and Louis wanted to keep themselves from buying unnecessary items Evan didn't needed like the ten more bodysuits Harry was holding only letting him get a pack of three blue, white and striped mittens. He couldn't help but let Harry buy an infant cradle and swing, a baby bouncer, carrier and a play mat for when Evan gets older.

 

"But it's a crib soother and a mobile all in sale for the price of one." Harry insisted holding onto the items for dear life pleading with his eyes.

 

"Gemma and our mums already got him plenty of toys and more clothes, he doesn't need any more Harry." Louis sighed watching him put them back.

 

"Fine but- hey, aren't those like Mr. Curls?" Harry pointed behind Louis where there were plenty of the teddy bears.

 

"Oh they still make them, you know, they personalize them with the child's initials. That's why Logan's has a pink L and H...I'm gonna get him one with a blue E and L." Louis smiled so big all Harry could do was nod and stare like a dumb ass.

 

While they waited for the teddy bear to be ready they busied themselves looking for an infant car seat and ended up buying one in blue and dark grey with little owls in a brown background where his head should go along with a matching stroller because according to Harry he really wanted one for when they go on walks or shopping at department stores. By the time they had paid for everything and Harry had gotten a toy for Logan it was time to pick her up, she greeted them with a big smile on her face then left waving goodbye to her teacher and her seat mates.

 

*****

 

"I like Lux but Tabitha is mean daddies, she pushed me and wouldn't let me hold Alex's hand. I always hold his hand and his daddies are nice...but it's okay 'cause I hold Lux's hand and did you know Mrs. Teasdale is her mummy. Tabitha says a mummy and a daddy are better but I like two daddies. Women are so complicated...that's why I'm not a women." Logan dramatically sighed.

 

"You mean you're not a woman lovebug, women is used for when you're talking about more than one. And no, you're not a woman, you're my little girl." Harry explained smiling at her, adoration showing in his eyes as he prepared lunch and Louis went through her backpack putting aside all the papers he and Harry had to fill out and sign.

 

"Oh."

 

"I know you hold his hand love but if Tabitha pushes you again you go and tell Mrs. Teasdale if she doesn't stop when you ask her too." Louis frowned remembering the girl.

 

"And you tell us if she keeps doing it." Harry continued not liking at all that his daughter was being pushed around.

 

"Aww, did Mrs. Teasdale take this today?" Louis cooed at the picture of Logan holding a chalkboard with her name, the date of her first day of school and pre k written on it showing it to them.

 

"Yes, it's for you and daddy." Logan nodded before going back to coloring on the worksheet she had been given to do for fun but deemed important so Harry could put it on the fridge.

 

"This is going on the fridge so everyone can see how cute you are." Louis smiled getting up then abruptly stopped halfway there, hand flying to his stomach when he felt a mild contraction already knowing they were Braxton Hicks.

 

"Lou are you okay?" Harry asked putting the grilled sandwiches in three different plates.

 

"Yeah...just one of those contractions." Louis said as the tightening in his lower stomach disappeared then turned around when he heard a plate dropping on the counter.

 

"What?! It's too early! Louis he can't come out yet." Harry started walking around the kitchen looking for something while Louis and Logan stared. "Where are my keys?"

 

"Harry calm down...they're just Braxton Hicks...you read about it in one of your gigantic books." Louis calmly explained putting a magnet over the corner of Logan's picture.

 

"So he's not coming out yet?"

 

"Nope."

 

"Oh thank God." Harry let out a shaky breath.

 

"Daddy look, your keys." Logan pointed to the car keys in the middle of the kitchen island. 

 

"Of course." Harry glared at them while Louis laughed wrapping his arms around his torso lightly pressing his stomach against his, both of them feeling Evan's kicks.

 

~*~

 

The weeks passed by and in Louis' 28th week appointment Harry had walked out of there in a sour mood holding Logan tightly in his arms and Louis' hand after Jacob had spent part of the appointment complimenting Louis on how good he looked and the last part tickling and making Logan laugh while they were busy talking to Rebecca. The more the pregnancy progressed the more uncomfortable symptoms Louis began to experience leaving him in a pissy mood snapping at Harry for even the most insignificant things like Harry leaving his clothes on a chair in the corner of the room and not picking them up driving both of them nuts. By his 30th week he cut off all the sex not really feeling up to it leaving Harry who to his bad luck was insatiable those days and had to get off all by himself with only the help of his right hand.

 

The more the weeks passed by the worst Louis' cravings got waking Harry up in the middle of the night to get him whatever he wanted then cry about how his new clothes were already too tight. He spent his days alone munching on pretzels or sometimes nachos while Harry worked and Logan was in school waiting for the time to get there to pick her up. He only had the baby and Buttercup's company during his time alone but when the conversations were only one sided it started to get to him until Niall and Eleanor started visiting him. He didn't realized how much he needed to have a conversation with another adult when things started changing and not in a good way.

 

*****

 

"Hey Lou, where's my baby girl? How have you and the baby been?" Eleanor hugged a 32 week pregnant and tired Louis.

 

"She's downstairs in her playroom." Louis sighed closing the front door then rubbed his temples slightly frustrated.

 

"Something wrong?" She asked wrapping an arm around his waist walking down to the basement.

 

"It's just...I cooked a nice dinner for Harry and he just called to tell me he's working late...again." Louis rolled his eyes putting a hand underneath his belly to support it and keep his back from hurting more than it already was.

 

"I was wondering where he was...he's usually home before dinner." Eleanor said more to herself watching Louis nod.

 

"Well he hasn't had dinner with us in two weeks, he almost never spends time with Logan except for the Sundays he doesn't work and doesn't talk to the baby like he used to. He- he doesn't even touch me anymore, I mean...I know it's my fault for cutting off all the sex but now this stupid pregnancy is making it worse. Am I really that fat and disgusting he doesn't want to sleep with me anymore even if I initiate it." Louis frantically said taking a deep breath at the end.

 

"Louis...I don't- I don't really know what to tell you."

 

"He didn't even go with me to my appointment earlier today- Logan I told you that's not yours, that's your brother's." Louis walked in front of Logan trying to take Evan's teddy bear away from her while Eleanor watched with worried eyes.

 

"It's mine." Logan pouted tightening her grip on it along with her own teddy bear.

 

"Baby you already have Mr. Curls and Bubbie needs his teddy bear to keep him safe at night." Louis explained extending his hand for it.

 

"I'll give it back when he comes out." Logan pleaded hiding it behind her back.

 

"No, you have to put him back in the crib." Louis insisted.

 

"But it's mine."

 

"Logan- " 

 

"No!" She screamed and as fast as she could she got up and ran to Eleanor who picked her up rubbing her back as she cried on her shoulder.

 

"Lou...why don't we sit down." Eleanor calmly told him taking a seat on the couch after he did.

 

"I don't know what's gotten into her, she takes his stuff and sometimes when Harry's around she won't even let him go near me or talk to the baby. She wants him all to herself." Louis sighed watching Eleanor whisper something in her ear then kissed her forehead before she gave him Evan's teddy bear and ran to get her coloring book and crayons.

 

"Maybe she's just jealous, she's used to having all of Harry's attention and now she has to share him with the baby. I remember being like that when my brother was born, I was daddy's girl and then Max was born and suddenly I had to share."

 

"Yeah but she wasn't like that, she used to be so excited and now she doesn't talk to him or kisses my tummy like she always used to."

 

"Louis...tell me what's wrong. I know there's something else you're not telling me and you know you can trust me." Eleanor scooted closer to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

 

"It's embarrassing." Louis muttered then continued when she gave him a look. "I...I think Harry's cheating on me." Louis confessed.

 

"And that's embarrassing? Louis, he went through a lot to earn your forgiveness so I don't think he'll just mess it up like that. What makes you think he's cheating?"

 

"It's just the stupid pregnancy symptoms and- and I was- I was...constipated and gassy." Louis stopped to look at her seeing her neutral expression telling him she wasn't affected at all. "So I stopped putting out when he was all- you know and after that he started coming home later than usual and now he won't even touch me. He just comes home, takes a shower and if Logan's lucky he spends some time with her then goes to bed just to do it all over again the next day. He just kisses my forehead or my cheek and mumbles a tired goodnight."

 

"Maybe he's working late and is just tired, from what he's told Liam purchasing this house took a toll in his bank account." Eleanor hugged him carefully choosing her words not wanting to upset him even more.

 

"I know that El, but he knows I have money and he doesn't have to work that much. He doesn't have to and whenever I call him he sometimes doesn't answer...he used to answer my calls all the time. Maybe...maybe he realised I'm not worth it and he doesn't love me anymore." Louis sniffled knowing he was being whiny but he didn't cared when he could be losing Harry to some skinny tramp.

 

"Talk to him Lou, clear things up because in less than two months Evan's gonna get here and I can see its affecting Logan too." Eleanor advised looking at Logan coloring on her book still with tear stained cheeks.

 

"Okay...enough of me. Tell me, how have you been. How's Liam?" Louis changed the subject smiling when she blushed.

 

"He cooked dinner for me last night, it was very romantic." She gushed.

 

"And then?" Louis prompted the same way they did when they were younger.

 

"Then we kissed for a bit and I spent the night over at his."

 

"So nothing happened? You know..." Louis wiggled his eyebrows chuckling when she blushed a furious red.

 

"We're taking it slow and I like that he doesn't pressure me into doing things like all those ass holes I've ever dated...Louis he's such a gentleman."

 

"Hey! I'm not an ass hole." Louis exclaimed making her laugh knowing he was just joking.

 

"You didn't even made it into the list...we only kissed like five times for those four months we dated." She giggled.

 

"Thanks for being my friend." Louis said out of nowhere remembering how she had always being there by his side supporting him in everything he did and helping him as much as she could.

 

"No, thank YOU for being my friend." She said before she hugged him tighter.

 

By the time she left it was Logan's bed time and Harry was still out working, he gave her a bath then tucked her into bed somehow relieved that it was Saturday the next day and she didn't had to go to school meaning he could actually sleep in till nine before she or the baby kicking would wake him up. He took a shower and got into bed turning the tv on in a crappy show he wasn't even paying attention to while he waited for Harry to get home with Buttercup sleeping at the foot of the bed like he did every night until Harry got home then he would get up and go upstairs to sleep with Logan. Louis knew that he was protecting him to protect the human inside of him after he would spend minutes lightly bumping his stomach with his nose to get Evan to kick then would go to Logan after she would come home, he was just protecting the two small human beings in the house.

 

He rubbed his stomach feeling Evan kicking then talked to him until he stopped and Louis assumed he was asleep and looking at the clock on his nightstand he let out an annoyed sigh and turned the tv off deciding to just go to sleep, he was done waiting for Harry. What felt like hours later but it had only been a few minutes he felt a warm hand he recognized as Harry's brushing the hair out of his forehead and then a pair of warm lips against it making him smile a little.

"I knew you were awake." Harry mumbled kneeling on the floor next to him pressing a kiss to Louis' belly.

 

"I was waiting for you." Louis opened his eyes reaching to turn the lamp light on seeing how messy Harry's hair was and Buttercup gone.

 

"I'm here now, I'm gonna go take a shower then we can go to sleep...go back to sleep." Harry got up taking his black blazer then his white shirt off before walking to the bathroom leaving them on a chair in the corner of the room. 

 

Louis sighed then after struggling for a few seconds he got up to put them away not wanting to have them pile up again after he had picked up their clothes that morning. He smiled as he grabbed them but it quickly disappeared when he caught the scent of expensive perfume coming from his clothes then his eyes began stinging with tears seeing a red lipstick kiss on the collar of the white shirt. He dropped them and went back to bed laying down on his side with his back to Harry's side of the bed trying not to cry wondering if Harry was really that disgusted by him enough to sleep with women then quickly wiped a few tears away when minutes later Harry came out of the bathroom freshly showered already having brushed his teeth.

 

He tried not to push him away when he wrapped an arm around him kissing the back of his neck before nuzzling his face against it feeling his uneven breaths letting him know he was still awake and his thumb rubbing random shapes on his belly. He tried to keep his sobs in but without helping it he let out a small one catching Harry's attention.

 

"Louis? Lou...are you crying?" Harry asked sitting up then moved over to Louis' side facing the crying man.

 

"No..." Louis mumbled then let out another sob when Harry managed to pull him into his lap so he was straddling him as Louis hid his face on the crook of his neck crying his eyes out ignoring the ache on his chest when Harry wrapped his arms around him trying to calm him down wondering how many women or men had he held like that for the past two weeks or even more.

 

"Love what's wrong? Talk to me." Harry pleaded trying to make him look at him.

 

"Do you- do you still love me?" Louis asked expecting the worst.

 

"Of course I still love you and I always will." He answered peppering his face with kisses.

 

"Then why are y- you cheating on me...and with women! Am I not good e- enough f- for you?" Louis sobbed trying to get away from Harry then cried harder when Harry held him in place not letting him move.

 

"What are you- I didn't cheated." Harry frowned in confusion.

 

"Don't try- your shirt smells like whoever the whore was and- and there's a lipstick stain on the collar." Louis nearly shouted, sadness quickly replaced with anger.

 

"That doesn't mean I cheated! Louis I would never- " Harry frantically said getting interrupted by Louis who managed to get out of his grip watching him walk up to the chair picking his shirt up.

 

"Then explain this!" Louis shouted throwing it at him hitting his face with it.

 

"This means nothing Louis, you're overreacting." Harry said inspecting the shirt.

 

"Oh I'm overrea- you're a fucking piece of shit! I don't fucking put out for a whole damn month and you do this to me." Louis screamed in tears grabbing a pillow and throwing it at Harry who managed to avoid getting hit by it.

 

"I didn't- "

 

"I stay here holed up in this damn house taking care of your daughter and carrying your son while you go around fucking all those skinny whores...you working late is just bullshit!" Louis kept throwing whatever he could find at Harry.

 

"Dammit Louis I didn't cheated on you." Harry got up yanking a picture frame out of Louis' hands then grabbed them with one of his own to keep him from hitting him.

 

"Then why are you always coming home so late? Why won't you sleep with me anymore? I know I gained so much weight and I'm ugly but are you really that repulsed by me?" Louis asked sitting down on the chair covering his face with his hands as he cried.

 

"Love that's not it." Harry mumbled kneeling down in front of Louis wiping the tears away.

 

"You know how there are some models who don't get the fact that I'm gay and very much in love with the gorgeous father of my children. It was some annoying model who attacked me, you can ask Grace...she was there and just watched me fight for my life and my innocence. I would never cheat on you Lou, I love you, and if we don't have sex anymore it's because I don't want to hurt you or the baby. You're six weeks away from delivering."

 

"But you don't have to work this late, we have enough money and Logan misses you...she's being a little shit lately because you're never home." Louis hicupped.

 

"I had to." Harry mumbled.

 

"No you don't. Tell me what's going on." Louis demanded noticing how nervous he looked.

 

"You'll know soon okay? Just trust me." Harry pleaded.

 

"No. Either you tell me or you can sleep somewhere else." Louis crossed his arms over his chest narrowing his eyes at him daring him to argue with him.

 

"Louis..." Harry groaned.

 

"Goodnight Harry. Hope the couch or wherever you decide to sleep on tonight is comfortable enough for you."

 

"I didn't want to do it this way. I wanted it to be perfect and unforgettable over the romantic dinner I was planning for tomorrow night...Logan was going to spend the night with Liam and Eleanor." Harry sighed.

 

"What- what are you talking about?" Louis asked, his confusion growing when Harry got up and walked to where his bag was laying on the floor by the door.

 

He stayed in the chair until Harry found what he was looking for in his bag then turned around and walked back to him holding a small light blue box with white polka dots and a white bow carefully wrapped around it. He once again knelt down in front of Louis and carefully placed it on his lap then looked up at him smiling shyly and motioning for him to open it.

 

"Open it." Harry whispered looking at him with hopeful eyes.

 

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly unwrapped the bow around it and opened the box seeing white tissue paper covering what was inside then smiled when he saw a tiny pair of light blue knit booties and a light blue quilted crystal pacifier with a matching polka dot ribbon pacifier clip. He picked up the pacifier then gave Harry a watery smile and a kiss before admiring it not noticing Harry literally holding his breath when he picked up the booties feeling the soft material against his fingertips when he felt it. He gave Harry a confused look before he reached inside the right one feeling around with his fingers then took it out turning the bootie upside down letting it fall into his palm feeling like the breath was knocked out of his lungs realising what it was.

 

"Harry...what..." Louis let out a shaky breath looking at him with wide shiny eyes.

 

Louis held the ring in his hand, tears brimming his blue eyes. It was beautiful. The silver band was a polished sterling silver with a row of five diamonds curved and inset on the top sparkling in the light as he held it between his thumb and pointer finger.

 

"Please don't interrupt me okay? Just let me talk." Harry smiled when Louis nodded. "I had a whole speech prepared because I wanted it to be perfect but I'm just gonna go with what I'm feeling here. I know we didn't started off in a good way and you'll probably think it's too soon but I've been wanting to do this ever since we were kids."

 

"I truly love you and our kids, I'm so madly and deeply in love with you and I just want to spend the rest of my life with you...I want to grow old next to you so- " Harry took the ring from Louis being on one knee ready to do what he had always wanted to do.

 

"Harry..." Louis cried letting the happy tears roll down his cheeks as he put a hand over his mouth and placed the other on his belly where Evan was kicking like crazy maybe sensing how happy his daddy was at the moment hearing his heart beating so fast like a hummingbird in mid flight.

 

"Would you do me the honour of being my husband, would you Louis Tomlinson marry this idiot who loves you with all his heart?" Harry finished the question watching Louis struggle to get a single word out then smiled when he finally nodded.

 

"Of course I'll marry you you idiot...you're my idiot." Louis finally spoke throwing himself at Harry hugging the life out of him pulling back when Harry grabbed his hand and placed the ring on his finger.

 

"I love you Louis, I promise I'm going to make you the happiest man alive." Harry kissed his lips then his hand before getting eye level with his tummy whispering the next words. "He said yes baby boy, daddy said yes."

 

"You know I'm already so happy, I have everything anyone could ever ask for and I love you so much." Louis smiled running his fingers through Harry's hair then closed his eyes a little when he felt an uncomfortable tightness in his lower stomach.

 

"Well I'm gonna make you extra happy." Harry beamed with happiness looking up at Louis noticing something was wrong. "Lou are you okay?"

 

"Y- yeah I am. Kiss me." He pouted then smiled when Harry kissed him then moaned not from pleasure but from pain.

 

"Lou..?" Harry pulled back watching him furrow his brows in concentration before it turned into a grimace and his hand grabbed his forearm in a tight painful grip before he doubled over in pain barely leaving him with enough time to catch him.

 

"I think...I think the baby's coming." Louis gasped for air then screamed when another contraction hit him.

 

"What? Now!?" Harry's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets then got up looking for their shoes and car keys.

 

"Fuck me! It's too soon, it's too soon...he can't come out yet." Louis tried to breathe letting Harry help him to the bed. "Your- fuck it hurts! Your kids don't...don't know the definition of...due date."

 

Harry rushed around the room frantically searching for their shoes and a coat then not really knowing how he managed to put the shoes and the coat on Louis then his own. He wanted to scream and cry when he realised they hadn't even packed Louis and the baby's bags yet and once again had managed to lose his keys while Louis tried to breathe already sweating buckets. Harry almost tripped running out of the room to get Logan climbing the stairs two at a time thanking the gods she was wearing warm pajamas and as fast as he could put her shoes and a random coat on picking her up wrapping her blanket around her then ran back to his and Louis' bedroom.

 

"My keys...where did I put my keys?" Harry walked around panicking and still holding his sleeping four year old in his arms.

 

"Harry?" Louis tried to get up 

 

"I know it hurts love, I know and I'm sorry. My keys!"

 

"Harry it's okay, it doesn't hurt anymore." Louis slowly got up relaxing when it didn't hurt then walked to Harry.

 

"What? What do you mean it doesn't hurt anymore?" Harry gave him an incredulous look carefully setting Logan down on the bed seeing her opening her eyes to give him a sour look before she closed them again and made herself comfortable scooting over to the middle of the bed.

 

"False labour, it just stopped out of nowhere. He's not coming out...at least not now." Louis managed to give him a tiny smile watching him sit down on the bed letting out a breath Harry himself didn't know he was holding.

 

"He's not even out yet and is already scaring the crap out of me." Harry rubbed his hands on his face.

 

"It's just like practice for the real thing...you were petty good and fast, good job babe." Louis said taking a seat next to Harry kissing his sweaty temple noticing a tiny detail on their sleeping daughter. "Harry?"

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Why is Logan wearing two different shoes?" Louis asked trying not to laugh.

 

"Oh my God...I didn't even noticed." Harry groaned then looked around raising his eyebrows. "I still can't find my keys."

 

They looked at each other before bursting out laughing and Harry wrapped his arms around Louis kissing his forehead making a mental note to text his mum, Gemma, and Jay to let them know his answer then deciding it was now or never he took his phone out and sent them a simple text knowing they'll call the next day.

 

He said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Thoughts?


	34. We were always meant to be

Harry slowly opened his eyes blinking in confusion when he noticed he was in bed alone, he looked around getting startled when he saw Louis standing in front of him by the foot of the bed with a bag in one hand and the other on his belly. He was about to ask what he was doing when he noticed Jacob standing by the door with Logan asleep in his arms and two suitcases by his feet then almost let out a sob when Louis took off the ring he had just given him last night and placed it on the bed.

 

"Louis? What are you- why is he holding our daughter." Harry nervously asked getting up when Louis walked towards Jacob and intertwined their fingers together.

 

"I can't marry you Harry...I- I don't love you. I'm leaving you and we're taking the kids." Louis answered then moved to walk out but couldn't when Harry ran to him getting on his knees and wrapped his arms around him not bothering to wipe the tears away.

 

"No, please don't leave me Louis. I love you, you can't leave me please." Harry begged and began panicking when Jacob walked out of their bedroom taking Logan with him.

 

"I don't love you, I love Jacob and its him who the kids are going to call daddy from now on...not you." Louis said pushing him off of him.

 

"Louis please, please don't leave me."

 

"Harry."

 

"Louis please." Harry continued begging.

 

"Harry wake up!" Louis shouted watching in fear as Harry woke up sweating and trying to breathe then started crying out of nowhere bringing his knees close to his chest.

 

"Please..." Harry cried looking around with wide eyes then felt his chest tightening when he saw a carry on bag that belonged to Louis and the diaper bag they had gotten for Evan with all his things around it ready to be packed, all in Louis' side of the bed.

 

"It was just a dream, you were just dreaming." Louis quickly said wrapping his arms around him when he figured out he must've been having a nightmare by the way he was shaking then kissed the top of his head.

 

"You were going to leave me for Jacob...And you were taking the kids with you. Louis he took her, he took our Logan." Harry sobbed.

 

"I would never leave you Harry...and Logan's in the kitchen eating breakfast and if we ever leave this house with packed bags it will be because we're going on a vacation. I'm just packing mine and the baby's stuff so we're ready for when he gets here. Why would I leave you if we're gonna get married, you asked me to marry you and I said yes. Don't you remember?" Louis rubbed Harry's back in attempts of calming him down.

 

"Y- yes b- but it felt so real Louis. Please don't ever leave me, please." Harry begged noticing Louis was still wearing the ring.

 

"I told you you're stuck with us, there's no way we're leaving you ever." Louis kissed him.

 

He was still crying in Louis' arms when Logan ran into the room still wearing pajamas stained with syrup and had her hair up in a messy bun quickly climbing on the bed to cuddle Harry when she saw he was crying. Harry couldn't help but smile when she grabbed his cheeks with both of her sticky hands and gave him a sticky kiss on the forehead then to make him laugh growled at him telling him she was his baby tiger making silly faces.

 

"No crying okay? I'm here and I didn't move out." She cooed hugging Harry around the neck.

 

"You're not moving out until you're forty." Harry kissed her sticky cheek wondering how much syrup had Louis allowed her to eat.

 

"So I'm not moving out?" Logan asked trying to wipe her hands on the bedsheets pouting when Harry stopped her.

 

"Don't be silly, of course you're not moving out." Harry said then blew raspberries on her tummy.

 

She was still laughing when Harry reached to kiss Louis' belly making her stop then quickly got in between them clinging to Harry keeping him from getting any closer to Louis much less the baby. Louis' eyes widened in surprise at her actions knowing her jealousy was becoming a problem and they needed to talk to her about it. Harry gave him a smile then got up with her in his arms to clean her up a bit and after he was done eating breakfast they decided to spend the day together walking around the neighborhood hand in hand with Logan walking in front of them holding Buttercup's leash.

 

After Harry chased Logan around the neighborhood park for hours laughing and then proceeded to throw her up into the air catching her in his arms every time while Louis tried not to freak out thinking he wouldn't catch her they headed back home with Harry carrying a passed out Logan when she had fallen asleep in his arms. They woke her up just to give her a bath and tuck her into bed then after both of them showered and Louis had a bowl of ice cream they fell asleep in each other's arms.

 

The following morning they called their friends to invite them over later that day then their families to tell them the news and after they had their moment and congratulated them they promised to help them organize the wedding to which they still didn't had a date but that was the least of their worries at the moment.

 

~*~

 

"Now that you're all here Harry and I have something to tell you." Louis announced smiling so big.

 

"What is it?" Zayn asked, arms wrapped around Logan sitting next to Niall while Liam and Eleanor were sitting together in the loveseat.

 

"Harry and I are getting married." Louis announced waiting in the all of a sudden very quiet room for someone to say something until Eleanor squealed and got up to hug him.

 

"Congratulations Louis! I'm so happy for you." Eleanor smiled motioning for Louis to show her the ring complimenting Harry on his great taste.

 

"Congratulations both of you." Liam hugged Harry then Louis who looked at Zayn and Niall waiting for a reaction smiling when both of them smiled.

 

"I'm so so happy for you." Niall hugged him followed by Zayn after he had set Logan down.

 

"How did he proposed?" Zayn asked surprising Louis when he and Niall hugged Harry.

 

"Well I sort of thought he was cheating on me because he was always working late but turns out he wasn't and he had it all planned out but I ruined the surprise with my paranoia so he had no choice but to propose to me in our bedroom right after I threw a few items at him. He gave me a gift with a pacifier and booties inside...the ring was inside one of them." Louis gushed while they all listened with big smiles.

 

"That's just so cute." Eleanor sighed picking Logan up when she started pulling on her dress.

 

"Zayn proposed to me when we were taking a walk in the park, told me all these romantic things then I cried and said yes...and then we kissed and went back home." Niall said smiling when Zayn blushed as the others gave them a knowing look.

 

"Are you gonna get married like uncle Zayn and uncle Niall?" Logan asked wrapping an arm around Eleanor's neck.

 

"Yeah bug, daddy and I are getting married." Harry nodded.

 

"I'm gonna marry Alex too." Logan giggled playing with Eleanor's hair.

 

"No you're not, you're not gonna marry him. You're not even five yet." Harry quickly shot that idea down while the rest of them laughed when she pouted.

 

"I'll still marry him auntie El." Logan whispered on her ear smiling when she nodded.

 

"Do you have a date yet?" Liam asked.

 

"No, not yet. We want to wait after Zayn and Niall's wedding and when Evan is old enough." Louis explained sitting back down feeling his feet aching continuing the conversation until it was time for them to go.

 

~*~

 

The following Monday morning Louis stayed in bed asleep while Harry who was taking the day off dropped Logan off at school after struggling to wake her up and willingly have her go to school. He had only woken up to give her a hug and a kiss telling her to have lots of fun, a great day and to listen to Mrs. Teasdale going back to sleep as soon as he saw them driving away from the window.

 

A few minutes later Evan began to restlessly kick and move around making Louis wince in pain a few times especially at a hard jab at his ribs getting uncomfortable when he felt him pressing against his bladder. He loudly sighed accepting the fact that he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep again and instead got up to relieve himself, wash his hands and face then brush his teeth hearing Harry's steps moments later since the school was close by. He found him laying down on his spot still fully dressed in sweatpants and a thin hoodie missing when they used to be so big on him and now they were barely loose.

 

"I thought you were still sleeping." Harry mumbled lifting his arm up so Louis could take his hand and lay down next to him.

 

"Evan kept kicking at my ribs and it was getting uncomfortable plus I had to pee." Louis sighed smiling when Harry wrapped his arms around him.

 

"Poor thing...must be crowded in there but just six or so more weeks and we'll get to hold him." Harry smiled kissing Louis' forehead.

 

"No...no more than six weeks. He's gonna come out on his due date whether he likes it or not before I explode. Harry I'm already so fat and he had to get out soon so I can get back in shape." Louis lifted his head to look at Harry.

 

"You're not fat love, you're pregnant."

 

"I know I'm pregnant but I'm still fat and unattractive." Louis frowned.

 

"I think you're very sexy, you always look sexy." Harry winked and Louis felt like it was too much as he tried not to jump him right there and ride him all day long.

 

"You're only trying to make me feel better Harold." Louis sadly sighed getting up to sit against the headboard.

 

"It's the truth...if we could I would make love to you against the wall then in this very bed all day long." Harry said making Louis blush as Harry moved to sit next to him.

 

"Then why don't you?" Louis asked slightly offended.

 

"Because we can't just neglect Logan and my idea of doing you against the wall will hurt Evan but as soon as he's out and you're fully healed..." Harry trailed off raising his eyebrows in a suggestive dirty way.

 

"W- What?" Louis blinked raising his eyebrows.

 

"I want you to ride me." Harry repeated as he marked him.

 

"Harry I don't think- I'm too fat...and- and..." Louis stuttered blushing a deep red.

 

"It's okay if you don't want to, I'm not gonna force you if it makes you uncomfortable." Harry gently said kissing the left corner of Louis' lips.

 

"Nono, I do want to but I'm so pregnant and I'm gonna squeeze you." Louis sighed giving him a sad look.

 

"It's okay if you don't want to." Harry kissed the tip of his nose rubbing his sides.

 

"O- okay...yeah let's do it." Louis nodded.

 

"I want to- inside...Louis." Harry closed his eyes when Louis smirked and began moving again driving Harry crazy then all of a sudden stopped just as Harry let out a whimper.

 

"Okay but hurry up, I'm hungry." Louis said raising his eyebrows when Harry lay there looking at him in wonder.

 

"What?"

 

"Do you know how beautiful you are, you're stunning and gorgeous and just so pretty." Harry sat up moving to sit at the edge of the bed.

 

"I'm not any of those things Harry." Louis mumbled looking down at his hands to hide the fact that he was blushing then scooted closer to Harry when he reached for him.

 

"You're all of those things." Harry murmured kissing Louis then the back of his neck.

 

**********

 

"Why don't we shower then I'll make you something to eat." Harry suggested helping him get up when Louis nodded.

 

After their shower and Louis had finished the pancakes with marmalade and syrup Harry had made for him he settled down on the couch in the keeping room watching tv and folding the laundry Harry was washing and drying. He sighed seeing it was still a little after ten thirty wanting to just get up and pick her up from school and cuddle her all day long missing her loud laughs filling the silent house and overall just missing his baby girl that was growing way too fast for his and Harry's liking. He began petting the dog when he got close to him lightly bumping his belly with his nose until the baby kicked then feel asleep by Louis' feet leaving him with his hand up in the air when Harry's phone went off wondering who could be calling him.

 

"Ignore me then...Harry the phone!" Louis yelled trying to get up to answer it just as Harry walked in holding a basket full of Logan's and some blankets for the baby rushing over to answer it dropping the basket next to Louis.

 

"Hello? Yeah I'm her father...What happened? Are you sure? We'll be right there." Harry hung up and stared at the phone then at Louis.

 

"What happened? Is Logan hurt?" Louis asked putting the clothes aside managing to get up and waddle to Harry.

 

"She's okay but they want us to go and talk to them...apparently she was involved in a scuffle, must be a misunderstanding but c'mon." Harry took Louis' hand helping him to the car.

 

"That's strange, she's not the kind to fight." Louis muttered to himself.

 

When they got there the school hallways were unusually quiet in contrast with the noisy ones before and after school and as soon as they got to the main office they noticed David outside the office sitting on a bench next to their daughter comforting her and finishing redoing her ponytail as best as he could while she hicupped every now and then. Once she saw them she took off running towards Louis holding onto the sides of his sweater hiding her face on his belly letting out loud sobs ignoring her brother kicking against her face. Louis immediately wrapped his arms around her trying to comfort her as best as he could while Harry knelt down next to her.

 

"What happened?" Harry finally asked seeing how she wanted Louis to pick her up but settled with him sitting down on the bench next to her where he properly hugged her and kissed the top of her head before wiping her tears away.

 

"She got into a fight with one of her seatmates...Tabitha Richardson. Mrs. Teasdale says she pushed them pulled her hair before punching her in the arm and Tabitha responded doing the same except hitting her. The headmaster, Tabitha's parents and Mrs. Teasdale are waiting for you...don't worry I'll stay with her." David gave them a reassuring smile.

 

Harry nodded grabbing Louis by the hand guiding him to the office knocking before walking in. Who they assumed were Tabitha's parents glared at them and Harry glared back until Louis discreetly pinched his thigh to make him stop and pay attention to what was being said.

 

**********

 

"Well I know my daughter and she wouldn't hurt a fly and if she hit her then there must've been a really good reason for her to respond that way." Harry argued after Solange, Tabitha's mother, had called Logan a problem and violent child then demanded for her to be expelled immediately.

 

"We already talked to both girls but none of them would tell us what happened." Mr. Walters, the headmaster explained.

 

"That's because there's nothing to tell other than that girl attacked my daughter for no reason." Solange insisted.

 

"Our daughter would never do that." Harry glared.

 

"I've seen the girls interacting and I'm sorry to say this but Tabitha is always teasing not only Logan but also her classmates and I'm also sorry to say this because Logan is such a bright student but she was the one to throw the first hit." Mrs. Teasdale spoke looking at both set of parents.

 

"We'll that settles it, your daughter needs to learn how to control herself and be expelled." Tabitha's father spoke for the first time pissing off both Harry and Louis.

 

"So you're saying my daughter should be punished for not putting up with your daughters teasing? I'm sorry she doesn't let your daughter mess with her...also, you should teach your kid to be friendly and have some sort of respect towards her classmates because if she keeps going like that she'll have no friends later on." Harry exploded raising his voice while Louis grabbed him by the arm to keep him from getting up.

 

After arguing for almost half an hour it was decided Logan was to be suspended and stay home and go back to school Thursday while Tabitha and her parents were given a warning, Harry had walked out of there furious with the school and disappointed with Logan when she refused to apologize to her and had tried to hit her again when Tabitha stuck her tongue out at her.

 

"You and I are gonna have a long talk when wet get home and you're grounded, no tv or trips to the park for a week." Harry said buckling her up then slammed the door closed while Logan hicupped glaring at him then began crying and calling for Louis.

 

As soon as Logan stepped into the house she ran straight to Buttercup laying down next to him on his bed by the barstools ignoring Harry until he gently grabbed her kissing her forehead and set her down on the couch in front of him and Louis. He was about to speak when she got up trying to climb on Louis' lap and be closer to him like she used to but couldn't when Evan was in the way then began pushing her knees against it making Louis wince and push her back a bit making her cry until Harry put her back in her old spot.

 

"Whatever's going on needs to stop right now, you're gonna hurt your brother Hunter." Harry scolded her watching as she tried to climb back on Louis' lap wrapping her arms around his stomach.

 

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" Louis asked running his fingers through Logan's hair sighing when she shooked her head no.

 

"You know it's not okay and we don't like it when you hit people so why did you hit her?" Harry asked.

 

" 'cause..." Logan mumbled.

 

"That's not a good enough reason to hit her so either you tell me or I'm gonna take all your toys away." Louis insisted.

 

" 'cause she's stupid and I hate her." Logan angrily pouted.

 

"Hey! We don't use that kind of language here so watch your mouth." Harry nearly yelled in almost a deeper tone of voice startling Logan and even Evan who Louis felt giving a sudden kick to the side of his stomach.

 

"I don't like you and the stupid baby, I hate him and you're stupid!" Logan wailed running out of there and into the half bathroom in the hallway slamming the door shut as hard as she could locking it before Harry could catch up to her.

 

"Logan open the door." Harry knocked on it, his heart breaking when he heard her tiny sobs coming from inside. "C'mon lovebug, open the door sweetheart."

 

"No! Daddy and you don't love me anymore, you only love the stupid Bubbie." Logan cried louder.

 

"That's not true love, we love you too." Harry spoke feeling Louis' hand on his shoulder.

 

"Baby open the door." Louis begged.

 

"No...I'm gonna hold my breath until I die then I'm gonna run away." Logan hicupped making Harry bang his head against the wall deciding to never let her watch Toddlers & Tiaras ever again no matter how much she begged or how many times she tried to bribe him with cuddles.

 

"But if you hold your breath and die you won't be able to run away and we'll miss you too much, and I'll cry like daddy because you died." Louis said putting his hand in between Harry's forehead and the wall to stop him when he kept banging his head against it.

 

"Princess you have to come out of there and tell us what's going on." Harry spoke in a soft tone sighing in relief when she finally opened the door giving them the saddest most heartbreaking look then began speaking crying her eyes out.

 

"Tabitha is mean daddies, she- she told me you only love Bubbie and I- I have to move out when h- he comes out of daddy's tummy. I don't want to move out and I wanted to be her friend but she pulls my hair and it hurts, she pulls Luxie's hair too. She said y- you don't love me anymore 'cause now you have Bubbie and I- I want you to love me too." Logan wailed shaking and rubbing her left eye.

 

"I've had it with that...that brat." Louis angrily muttered before he took Logan's hand going back to the keeping room then set her down next to him pulling her into a hug.

 

"Daddy and I will always love you and even if we have Bubbie we'll still love you, we'll always love both of you the same." Louis said rubbing her back.

 

"But she said you and daddy don't love me anymore and hate me." Logan sobbed.

 

"Is that why you hit her?" Harry asked kissing the back of her head wrapping his arms around them.

 

"Yes."

 

"We love you bug so so much, we love both you and Bubbie and we'll never stop loving you." Harry reached for tissue to wipe her nose.

 

"What she did was wrong but that doesn't mean you had to punch her, that's never okay and you should have told Mrs. Teasdale." Louis rubbed her back trying to calm her down.

 

"I'm sorry...I just wanted to be her friend. Daddy she doesn't have any friends." Logan cried breaking Louis and Harry's hearts.

 

"I'll be right back." Louis said out of nowhere kissing Logan's forehead then got up grabbing Harry's keys and walked or more like waddled to the garage.

 

"Louis where are you going?" Harry asked picking Logan up to follow him.

 

"That spoiled brat's being bullying our daughter and I'm not gonna just sit here and let her get away with it." Louis angrily said.

 

"Louis I don't think- "Harry quickly shut up, walked out and buckled Logan up getting in the driver's side when Louis narrowed his eyes and gave him a 'keep talking' look.

 

He followed a pissed off and hormonal Louis through the school hallways holding Logan's hand almost making her run, both of them trying to keep up with Louis as he kept a hand underneath his belly so he could get there faster not caring if he looked like a penguin at the pace he was going. He nearly slammed the door open startling the secretaries, David and to his surprise Tabitha's parents who were still there talking to the headmaster.

 

"Your daughter is nothing but a bully and I refuse to let mine be punished for defending herself from not only her verbal but also physical attacks." Louis glared at them.

 

"How dare you call- " Solange nearly shouted getting interrupted by a furious Louis.

 

"I'll call her whatever I want when she has the guts to tell my daughter we hate her and pull not only her hair but also her classmate's and if Logan hit her she had it coming." Louis yelled making her take a step back.

 

**********

 

Louis walked out of there grinning victoriously after it was now Tabitha who was suspended and everyone was left with the mentality of never wanting to deal with a pissed off and hormonal pregnant man trying to protect his child, especially one called Louis Tomlinson.

 

They went back home making a stop in Taco Bell buying a burrito supreme for Louis and six tacos for Harry and Logan to share spending the afternoon doing nothing but happy when Logan once again kissed Louis' belly.

 

By Louis' 35th week he found himself waving goodbye to Harry, Brian and the kids dressed as pirates seeing them jumping up and down in happiness because it was their first time ever trick-or-treating then closed the door going back to the kitchen with David. They talked while David had tea and Louis his usual nachos with extra spicy jalapenos complaining about wanting Evan out our he wouldn't be able to walk anymore then listened horrified to David telling him he had had to be induced when Alex was way overdue. By the time Harry, Brian and the hyper kids were back Louis was a sobbing mess watching Marley & Me while David tried to comfort him leaving when Alex started whining about wanting to sleep in his bed. Harry made sure Louis and Logan weren't looking when he hid the bag full of candy in the cabinet on top of the fridge.

 

~*~

 

"Harry since I'm only two weeks away I need to buy a bassinet now." Louis said as he was being ready for his 36th week appointment.

 

"Okay we can go buy it after the appointment." Harry smiled putting a shirt on.

 

"Okay good 'cause we only have to pick it up and you're going to love it 'cause I do and its really lovely." Louis rambled walking out of their room to get Logan and drop her off at Zayn's and Niall's.

 

When they walked in into Dr. Lane's office they were immediately called in while Louis kept teasing Harry about his obsession with taking selfies after he made him pose for one in the parking lot. They stopped the teasing after Dr. Lane told them that as soon as Evan was out she and a pediatrician were going to check his eyes to know whether he was blind or not then would be given to them so they could meet their son and after that he would be tested to know if he was a carrier or not. Louis was told to change into a hospital gown to make it easier for her to perform a full check up on him and Harry couldn't be more glad when Jacob left not wanting him see any part of Louis then pouted when he was asked to leave.

 

"I never thought I would like him that much." Rebecca said after checking Louis.

 

"A year ago I didn't think I would be having another baby with him much less be engaged to him." Louis sighed in content with his present life.

 

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable and remember all those memories but you deserve to be happy after everything you went through and now here you are about to have another baby." Rebecca smiled.

 

"The bullying, the- the you know and me getting pregnant that way is all in the past now. I'm so happy now with him, our daughter and our son and I couldn't ask for anything else." Louis looked at her and she could tell he was telling the truth when she could see his eyes were no longer icy cold and clouded with sadness but instead were warm and happy.

 

"And I wish you the best Louis." She gently said squeezing his hand.

 

After she left to get next patient Louis stayed in the room waiting for Harry and was just about to go change into the ensuite bathroom when Jacob walked in after knocking wearing an angry yet disgusted expression saying nothing just staring at Louis as if he was trying so hard to understand something.

 

"You need something?" Louis asked grabbing his clothes from the chair.

 

"How...how can you even stand him touching you, w- why do you even let him touch you?" Jacob asked trying to control his anger.

 

"What are you talking about?" Louis asked even though he already knew why he was asking.

 

"I heard you! That thing- he, he took advantage of you yet here you are about to have another baby with him." Jacob snapped taking a step closer to Louis.

 

"That's none of your business." Louis glared.

 

"You're right, it's not...but what you're doing is so wrong. Raising two kids with a- with him." Jacob rubbed his hands on his face waiting for Louis to see how wrong he thought it was, none of them noticing Harry watching everything.

 

"It's my life and I love him and whether you like it or not he is the father of my children, I honestly don't care if you think it's wrong or not." Louis finally snapped.

 

"Leave him...take the kids and come with me. I- I can make you happy and I'll raise them as my own. Please Louis...I- I still love you and if you say yes we can form our own family away from him and be so happy." Jacob desperately said as Harry held his breath waiting for Louis to say something.

 

"No I- " Louis tried to say but was interrupted when Jacob took a step forward and kissed him holding him by the back of his neck while he struggled to push him away finally doing so breathing hard. "I'm not gonna do that! I love him and we're gonna get married."

 

"Louis..."

 

"Why can't you understand I love him and I can't lose him again. I'm sorry, I really am sorry but you need to move on Jacob. I know there's someone out there who would love to be with you but that's not me." 

 

"Louis please." Jacob begged.

 

"Ready to go love?" Harry walked in deciding to act as if he hadn't just witnessed his fiance getting kissed by his ex.

 

"Just let me change, I'll be right out." Louis mumbled stepping into the bathroom locking the door after himself.

 

"I hope that was clear enough for you so stay away from him." Harry calmly said kissing against the wall.

 

"Do you even have a conscience? You disgust me and you're nothing but trash that doesn't deserve him or his kids."

 

"I paid for all my mistakes so save your words because I don't need them." Harry nearly growled trying to stay in his spot and not punch him.

 

"You made his life hell and you keep doing it because if it wasn't for you then Louis wouldn't have to live knowing that baby could be blind all because of you. You're not done paying for your mistakes." Jacob said.

 

"You- " Harry growled, his eyes stinging with tears.

 

"Harry!" Louis yelled coming out of the bathroom turning to Jacob and slapping him across the face. "I thought you were a different person but I was wrong so just stay away from us."

 

With that said Louis grabbed Harry's hand and walked out of there never stopping until they got to the car then turned around expecting Harry to be just as angry as he was but instead found him crying.

 

"Harry...."

 

"He's right Louis, it's my fault our son is blind."

 

"That's not true and you know it. You're gonna stop crying and leave that to me when I'm all hormonal, you're gonna wipe those tears away and drive me to the store to get that bassinet then we're gonna go pick Logan up- oh and you're also buying me nachos and ice cream cause we're out. Okay?" Louis said wiping Harry's tears with his sleeves.

 

"Okay." Harry nodded.

 

"And I love you." Louis pecked him on the lips.

 

"I love you too." Harry smiled a little.

 

As soon as they got home Logan helped Louis set up the dark brown handwoven bassinet happily telling him she was going to rock him to sleep and Louis lived that he could separate the basket from the base so that way he'll have somewhere to put him down when he wasn't in the room.

 

~*~  
Louis woke up in the middle of the night after dreaming he wet the bed and Harry made fun of him then groggily got up and waddled to the kitchen to get water feeling like he had sandpaper in his mouth instead of a tongue. His eyes flickered to the packed bags by the door after Harry had put them there when he was a nervous mess always hovering over Louis since he was a few days away from delivering and the fact that if he didn't go into labour naturally he was going to have to be induced only made Harry impossible to be around. After what had happened with Jacob Louis requested for only Dr. Lane to be at his last two appointments and she had agreed without questions asked.

 

"When are you going to get out baby? Not that I don't want you in there but daddy's gonna explode if you don't come out soon, your other daddy might too. We can't wait to hold you and your sister can't wait to meet you and give you a good cuddle." Louis talked to the baby as he filled a glass of water.

 

He was still drinking when he heard a low pop sound followed by a small amount of liquid running down his leg then began tearing up realising he had just wet himself in the middle of the kitchen until he felt a small contraction mumbling an 'oh God it's time' then calmly walked back to their bedroom to wake Harry up.

 

He shook him, pulled his legs, lightly smacked him but nothing seemed to work and Harry kept sleeping like a baby when his real baby wanted to come out as Louis felt the contractions getting a bit stronger.

 

"Harry wake up." Louis shook him then started hitting him until he got fed up and hit him right in his crotch both of them letting out a choked scream. "Feel my pain." Louis said through gritted teeth holding onto Harry's arm breathing hard.

 

"W- what's going on? Why would you- why would you hit me?" Harry got up turning on the light chocking in his own saliva when he saw Louis hunched over with a hand over his belly panting and sweating.

 

"Baby's c- coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_n3m6g0LuYZ1t9hu1ho2_500_zps3a137a55.jpg.html)   
> 
> 
> Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_n3m6g0LuYZ1t9hu1ho2_500_zps3a137a55.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> Thoughts? :)


	35. I could hold you for a million years

"Baby's c- coming."

"What? Now!?" Harry screeched still protecting his manhood with his hands when Louis gave him a duh look.

"Yes, now Harold. Hurry up because you know your son is not gonna wait for you to take forever to get ready." Louis confirmed waiting for another contraction not really looking forward to them.

"Okay okay, you keep him nice and warm in there until we get there...just sit down and breathe while I get us ready. Zayn, I have to call Zayn and don't lose the keys." Harry quickly got up helping Louis down on the bed then grabbed his phone giving him his keys Louis hadn't even noticed had been hanging around his neck in a lanyard to keep himself from losing them again.

"Do you sleep with your keys?" Louis asked a bit surprised.

"Been doing it for three days now. What? I don't want to lose them." Harry defended himself when Louis just stared at his fiance as if he had three heads.

"Just hurry up." Louis groaned feeling his stomach tightening taking deep breaths.

Louis focused himself on staying calm while Harry ran around getting dressed into a pair of jeans, a thin shirt and a hoodie while talking to Zayn, they had agreed earlier that week that he and Niall would be the ones to stay with Logan until she could visit Louis and the baby at the hospital. After hanging up and telling Louis they were on their way he helped him into a new pair of his own bigger sweatpants and a hoodie wincing when Louis tightened his grip on his forearms digging his fingernails into the skin and buried his face on his chest to keep himself from screaming.

"Fuck Harry it hurts." Louis whimpered letting out a few tears not really knowing why he was being so whiny and needy when he had already done it once, bringing Evan into the world should be an easy task for him to do yet he needed Harry to tell him everything was going to be okay.

"Everything's gonna be okay and soon you'll get to hold our baby." Harry kissed his forehead then bent down to put his shoes on jerking his head up when he heard him crying.

"M- make sure they check his eyes...please." Louis cried feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden, the thought that in a few hours they'll know if their little baby boy was blind or not was too much for him at the moment.

"Don't cry Lou...I will, I'll make sure that's the first thing they do so don't you worry. Stay here while I go bring the car over to the front." Harry got up kissing Louis' hand then grabbed his keys leaving him alone as he looked down at his belly and the fabric on top of it getting wet with tears that no matter how hard he tried to hold back they just wouldn't stop.

A few minutes later Harry came back and helped Louis to the front door grabbing the bags on his way out just as Zayn and Niall walked through the door still wearing pajamas and Zayn was holding a bag in his hands.

"It's gonna be okay Lou, just think that in a few hours you'll have your baby in your arms and don't worry about Logan, we're gonna take care of her and take her to school. We'll take her to see you later today after school and Harry already called Anne and Jay." Niall said as he helped Louis to the car while Harry talked to Zayn telling him to help themselves to anything they wanted.

As soon as Harry was in the car Louis grabbed the sides of his seat letting the contraction pass seeing Niall and Zayn closing the door then focused on breathing reaching for Harry's free hand. The drive to the hospital was fast thanks to Harry obsessing over finding the faster routes to get there while Louis squirmed in his seat panting and sweating deciding to not give a crap if he was being too loud, he had the right to do it when he felt ready to pop and like he was dying with a kid stuck in between his legs.

After Harry had parked the car Louis made sure Harry had everything then didn't even waited for his help and instead got out of the car on his own feeling just fine making Harry run to catch up with him. He tried to balance the bags on his hands waiting for Louis to check himself in before they were taken to his assigned room. Once they were settled in Louis changed into a hospital gown and after he went through a physical assessment with Dr. Lane he was started on an IV and to his embarrassment he was administered an enema thanking God and the nurse for making Harry exit the room while they did it. He was then left alone after being told an anesthesiologist and his nurse will be there soon. A few minutes later Harry was still who knows where and seeing it was still three in the morning and a day before Evan's real due date which was supposed to be November 20 he started feeling uncomfortable as the contractions kept getting stronger as he held onto the bed sheets taking deep breaths.

"Where were you?" Louis asked through gritted teeth narrowing his eyes as soon as Harry walked back into the room.

"Mum called to let me know they'll be here later today and then Zayn called to make sure we were in the hospital and okay." Harry explained taking a seat on a chair next to Louis.

"Okay...is Logan okay, she still sleeping?" Louis asked putting a hand over his belly.

"Yeah she's still knocked ou- "

"Ahh fuck fuck! When am I- am I gonna get that damn epidural?" Louis nearly screamed curling into a ball when he felt another contraction.

"It's okay love, they'll be here soon." Harry quickly soothed him grabbing his right hand running his fingers through his already sweaty hair with his left hand.

"No it's not okay Harold, this shit hurts and I have to go through it while you just sit there looking pretty. Shut up." Louis glared but after Harry had read endless quantities of books he knew Louis didn't mean all or some of the things he said.

"But I didn't say anyth- "

"Shut up and hold my hand." Louis whined tightening his grip on his hand.

Twenty minutes later the anesthesiologist was still nowhere to be found and Harry felt like his hand was about to fall off or the least he only had a few fractured fingers after a contraction where Louis had squeezed it hard enough to stop his circulation but said nothing guessing it couldn't compare to what Louis was feeling. Louis had managed to doze off a few times but gave up when the contractions got stronger and more frequent and was either in a foul mood or needy wanting Harry to be there at all times feeding him crushed ice to keep his mouth from drying out.

"Harry..." Louis whined moving his head from side to side. "Harry get him out for the love of God, just tell them to get him out now."

"Just a little bit more Lou, they'll be here before you know it." Harry nervously glanced at the door pleading for them to get there faster feeling Louis pulling his hand away from his.

"That's the fucking problem Styles, I don't fucking know! What the hell are you- ahh fuck this...what the hell are you still doing here? Go get them." Louis cried in pain hating everything at the moment except his kids and the annoying beeping sound of Evan's heartbeats knowing his precious baby was doing fine.

"Louis we have to wait until they get here." Harry slowly said waiting for it when Louis narrowed his eyes.

"It's your fault I'm like this and I'm dying! The least you could do is go get them or put me out of my misery. Why did I let you fuck me without a condom? But never again you hear me, never again." Louis began tearing up then turned his head to the other side ignoring and not wanting to look at him.

"Babe..." Harry sighed wanting to hold his hand.

"Oh shut up for the love of God, your voice is so annoying." Louis finally snapped breathing in and out then held back a scream grabbing Harry's wrist making him almost let out a scream too seeing the angry red shape of Louis' fingers after he let go.

"Hello Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Styles. I'm Dr. Collins, the anesthesiologist." A tall brunet walked in just after Louis had let go of Harry's wrist.

"Hello." Harry greeted him rubbing his wrist seeing Dr. Collins giving a sympathetic and understanding look.

"About time." Louis rolled his eyes missing Harry smiling apologetically to the doctor.

"Okay let's go ahead with the procedure." Dr. Collins quickly said.

After explaining the procedure a small catheter was inserted into Louis' spine while he stayed as still as he could sitting up resting the side of his face against Harry's chest and after the anesthesiologist was done a nurse inserted a catheter into him to drain his urine staying there to monitor him. Around twenty minutes later Louis began to relax while Harry used that time to go to the bathroom then came back and sat down replying to a text from Gemma wanting to know how they were doing.

"Harry...Haz, love of my life are you mad at me?" Louis asked feeling around for Harry's hand smiling when he found it.

"Of course not. Why would I be mad at you?" Harry asked putting his phone away then began rubbing the top of Louis' hand with his thumb smiling at the nurse.

" 'Cause I said your voice was annoying but I didn't mean it. I love your voice...especially when I wake you up with my mouth around your cock and- and you shout my name when you come." Louis giggled when Harry put a hand over his mouth to shut him up blushing a deep red unable to look at the nurse.

"Why don't we talk about that later and you go to sleep now." Harry nervously chuckled while Louis tried to move his hand doing so when he licked it.

"I'm sorry I didn't covered my teeth with my lips though..." Louis continued ignoring Harry's attempts to make him stop talking when he was on a roll trying to apologize.

"It's okay love, don't worry about it."

"Thank you for trusting me again with your dick. I was good the second time, right? Right?" Louis nervously asked fiddling with his fingers.

"You were amazing...now shush, we have company." Harry smiled just as the nurse smiled at them and left the room telling them they would come back in a few minutes to get him ready.

"She heard me didn't she?" Louis blushed a deep red hiding his face with his hands.

"Don't worry about it, its not like she's gonna go talk about it to all the staff." Harry chuckled pulling Louis' hands away from his face.

Louis gave him a tiny smile then focused on Harry's tattoos now that he had taken his hoodie off wondering what was the meaning of each and everyone of them since he had gotten them all during the almost five years they didn't see each other. He recognized the 'A' and 'g' as Anne and Gemma's initials and Logan's name written on his left arm just below the ship, it was strange to him that he had all his tattoos on his left and none on his right side. He smiled remembering how he had noticed Logan's name tattooed in cursive when he had fallen asleep on the couch with her after they had been outside all day riding her bike while Harry mowed the yard.

"Why do you have so many tattoos? You used to hate them." Louis asked out of nowhere surprising Harry who looked anywhere else but him.

"I went with Liam when he got one and I don't even know why but I ended up getting one too and after that I couldn't really stop." Harry explained resting his chin on his hand.

"But why did you get them, what's the meaning behind them? I want to know the meaning from the very first one up to the last one." Louis insisted.

"Louis I don't- "

"Oh c'mon Harreh, I want to know." Louis interrupted and smiled when Harry sighed knowing he had convinced him.

"The first ones I got were the birdcage and the theatrical masks a few days after I moved to Manchester...they symbolize how trapped and fake I was. The third one I got was the ship when Liam got his second one a few days after I got out of rehab and its supposed to mean a new beginning, a new journey when I thought that maybe I could move on and start over...hey don't cry. Louis..." Harry pressed his lips against Louis' forehead brushing his fingers through his hair.

"I'm sorry, I just...go ahead." Louis took a deep breath.

"Not if it's going to upset you, Louis its supposed to be a happy day today."

"I'm okay." Louis insisted.

"Okay then...after that I got the 'A' and 'g' tattoo as well as the Hi one, it's the first thing you said to me after you sprayed me with the water hose and then all I said was 'Oops' but I think it was a great ice breaker." Harry chuckled when Louis closed his eyes in embarrassment.

"That was embarrassing, all I wanted was to wash the mud off of my bike and keep riding before dark but you had to go and stand there like a dumbass." Louis groaned wincing a bit when he felt minor pain in his lower stomach but quickly went away.

"I just wanted to talk to you, see if I could ride my bike with you and it worked. Next I got the butterfly tattoo because that was the day we had so much fun...and also that day I noticed how pretty you looked running around and laughing." Harry remembered that day as if it had only happened the day before.

Louis blushed then laughed remembering when they were fourteen and the trees in their backyards had gotten infested with larvae that later turned into butterflies to the point that there were hundreds of them flying everywhere and the girls especially Gemma just loved them. Fed up with them Robin and Mark had offered money to the two boys in exchange for getting rid of them and it would have worked if it hadn't been for Gemma walking out in the middle of their killing spree crying and screaming at them to stop getting their mums involved who ended up making them stop.

"I think Gemma really wanted to kill us." Louis sighed rubbing his belly, something he loved to do.

"Are you kidding me? I had to sleep with my door locked for a week after that, and I was paranoid after she said she would get us back." Harry said widening his eyes in horror just by remembering that.

"Nothing happened and you're still here. What about the others?" Louis grabbed Harry's hand putting it over his belly.

"When I turned nineteen I got the sparrows flying towards each other and the one in the left is supposed to represent you and the one on the right me. Birds don't have eyebrows Lou." Harry explained when Louis gave him a confused look.

"You should add another two little ones there too." Louis teased.

"Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea." Harry thoughtfully said.

"Harold I was kidding." Louis quickly said.

"Fine I won't. Okay...so a year later I got the anchor on my wrist and a few months later the heart and you know about the Logan one. You yelled at me for it." Harry smiled.

"Well I wanted to go with you but you just went off and got it then didn't even bothered telling me until I saw it." Louis rolled his eyes then asked the one thing he had always wanted to know. "Why is the anchor missing the rope and the heart the arrow?"

"I...back then I felt like I was missing a big part of me and I really missed you so I just got half the tattoo thinking that maybe one day I'll get to go back and complete them." Harry sighed at the end leaning down to rest his head next to Louis' feeling his hand on his cheek rubbing it with his thumb.

"Maybe I should get the other two missing parts on my right, that way we will always complete each other." Louis whispered looking back at Harry, their lips mere inches apart.

"You don't have to." Harry murmured pecking his lips.

"But I want to and I already decided that I will get them so don't even try to stop me Harry Edward." Louis said so sure of himself.

"I'll hold your hand, I will always hold your hand."

"I know."

Harry wanted to say something else when two nurses walked in telling them it was time making Louis grab Harry's hand giving him a nervous look which Harry quickly held back silently telling him it was going to be okay. He was wheeled into the birthing room and as soon as he was ready he waited for Harry trying to relax when his legs and arms were secured and a curtain was set up above his chest, moments later Harry was by his side dressed in hospital scrubs and grabbed his hand kissing his temple telling him how much he loved him.

"Relax Louis, it will be the same procedure as last time." Dr. Lane said then got to work while Harry kept holding his hand nervous about becoming a father again and tried not to faint because this time he would be there next to Louis to welcome their baby into the world.

Louis let the tears roll down his temples when he began to feel pressure and then pulling remembering how different Logan's birth had been from this one then closed his eyes pushing the pain away. He wanted to open his eyes but was afraid it would be Andy standing by his side and not Harry then asked himself to open them when he felt his lips against his temple and Harry's voice telling him he was okay.

"Promise me you're still going to love him no matter what, Harry please." Louis pleaded letting more tears fall that Harry was quick to kiss away.

"Of course I'll still love him, he's our son and I will always love him no matter what." Harry promised kissing the corner of Louis' lips.

They both froze and looked at each other with tears in their eyes feeling like time had stopped when they heard Dr. Lane and the rest of the team saying a cheerful happy birthday then moments later Louis let out a muffled sob and Harry couldn't help the millions of tears rolling down his cheeks when both of them heard his loud cries for the very first time filling the room and feeling many emotions running through their bodies.

They watched the neonatal nurse they had met earlier carrying a tiny wiggly body over to a small table set up for him where she began to clean him up then grabbed a ophthalmoscope to check his eyes as he wiggled around still crying. When she was done she put a tiny blue hat on his head before swaddling him in one of the few white blankets they had brought with them to receive him in. As soon as she picked him up again he had calmed down a bit and as she turned around Louis tightened his hold on Harry's hand, both of them holding their breaths waiting while Harry kept his lips pressed against Louis' temple seeing the tiny creature they had created in her arms.

"His vision is perfect. He's a perfect little boy." She said letting herself smile warmly when they let out a shaky breath and Louis started crying.

He fell in love with his son all over again when he felt his warm tiny body resting against him leaning his head in to kiss his forehead while Harry held him in place to keep him from falling.

"Hi." Louis whispered so low and soft afraid of startling him smiling when the small baby blinked looking up at him in wonder and curiosity opening his tiny lips into an O as soon as Louis smiled only looking away from him to look at Harry who couldn't take his eyes off of their son.

"He's so tiny." Harry let out a watery chuckle then slowly as if he was afraid of hurting him caressed his cheek with the back of his index finger.

"Hold him before they take him." Louis said smiling when Harry carefully picked him up holding him up in front of him then cradled him against his chest kissing the tip of his nose.

"Hi baby boy." Harry whispered.

Minutes later the baby was taken and Harry was asked to wait in the recovery room while they finished the procedure and before he knew it Louis was in a new room with Harry by his side waiting for the nurse to bring their baby. He had been born November 19 instead of the 20th at exactly four thirty in the morning. Louis had managed to fall asleep for a bit while Harry went crazy calling everyone to let them know Evan was already there and his vision was perfect, Zayn had promised to bring Logan after school then would go back later that day to see them wanting Logan to meet her baby brother with just the two of them there.

He quickly sat up glancing at a sleeping Louis when he heard a knock then smiled when the nurse walked in rolling a plastic bassinet placing it in between the sofa Harry was sitting on and Louis' bed before waking Louis up.

"It's time to feed him, figured you would want to do it." She explained helping him up into a sitting position then picked up the whimpering baby and set him down into Louis' awaiting arms.

She left them alone after Louis let her know he knew how to feed him and after she told them Dr. Lane and a pediatrician would be there later that day to make sure he was doing fine and talk about the baby's test results. He accommodated the baby to make it more comfortable seeing he was wearing one of the bodysuits with a teddy bear on the front that Gemma and Logan had gotten him.

"What are you doing sitting there...come sit next to us." Louis smiled grabbing the bottle lightly pressing the teat against Evan's lips chuckling when he began sucking on it rather eagerly just as Harry sat down next to him careful not to hurt him.

"He has your nose and your lips...and I hope his eyes stay blue." Harry whispered grabbing one of his tiny warm and soft hands.

"Does he even have any hair?" Louis asked waiting for Harry to remove his hat revealing a head full of dark brown and straight short hair like his own except it was darker like Harry's.

"Perfect." Harry said loving every bit of his son.

"There goes my idea of having another child with curly hair." Louis joked just as Harry tried to put it back on leaving it a little off to the left.

"I'm just glad and thankful he's okay and can see, I would've never forgiven myself if this had turned out completely different." Harry tried to keep his voice low not wanting to disturb Evan who had his eyes closed and his mouth movements were slowing down until they stopped and he was asleep.

He put him back in his bassinet then let Louis go back to sleep taking a seat on the sofa wanting to stay awake but soon the exhaustion won and he fell asleep curled up into a ball unable to wait so he could see Logan and for her to meet her Bubbie. When he woke up again at around eight he smiled seeing his two loves still asleep and as quietly as he could got up to the bathroom coming back more aware, a clean face and mouth walking up to the bassinet kissing him on the forehead doing the same to Louis. Later that day after Louis had fed Evan he was moved back to his old room where he would be more comfortable and be able to have visits as long as he was feeling okay.

****

"How are you feeling Louis?" Dr. Lane asked walking into the room with another doctor Louis assumed was the pediatrician then remembered him as Dr. Jones.

"Just a bit tired and sore but I'm feeling okay." Louis answered, all of them looking at the bassinet when Evan let out a tiny sneeze followed by a chorus of bless you's from the adults.

"Make sure to let the nurse know if it gets too painful, I don't want you to be in so much pain. Depending on how good you're feeling and if no infections develop you might be able to go home in a few days but try to rest as much as you can. This is Dr. Jones and as you know Evan still had to be tested even though his vision is completely fine." Dr. Lane informed them then let Dr. Jones give them the results.

"We did a series of tests and they all came back normal except for one for what might have been his condition, there's no need to worry...he's a healthy baby; six pounds, eight ounces and nineteen inches. I'm not sure if they told you how much he weighed and measured." Jones quickly explained seeing the panic on their faces. "His vision is completely fine and he won't have any problems with that but he is a carrier for LCA, there's a possibility that later in life he might pass it down to his children."

"So there's absolutely nothing to worry about?" Harry asked holding onto Louis' hand.

"Nothing." He smiled.

When they were finally left alone Louis had eaten something light for breakfast then decided to take a nap before Logan could get there wanting to be well rested to see her again while Harry stayed awake sitting on the sofa holding a drowsy Evan who would blink a few times keeping his gaze up at Harry. At around noon it was Harry who fed Evan with Louis' help concentrating as hard as he could afraid of hurting him or doing something wrong since it was the very first time doing it while Louis smiled.

While he rested Harry sat down with Evan in his arms not wanting to put him down just yet while Louis smiled seeing him completely fascinated with their son's tiny ten toes and fingers wanting to coo at them when the baby grabbed one of Harry's fingers in a tight hold with his tiny hand. Harry let out a soft surprised sound, raised his eyebrows and blinked in wonder while his lips parted into an O then smiled leaning down to kiss the tiny knuckles smiling bigger when the baby let out a tiny squeak.

"The nurse told me you changed his diaper." Louis said getting Harry's attention long enough to give him a good look and see how tired he looked.

"Yeah...I think she was losing her patience especially when I put way too much baby powder." Harry chuckled getting a bit startled when Evan let out a loud cry just as his phone went off letting him know Zayn was there.

"I got him, you go get Logan so she can meet her Bubble." Louis smiled taking Evan, both getting a kiss from Harry chuckling when the tiny boy flailed his arms around after escaping the blue blanket holding them down.

~*~

As soon as Harry had gotten out of the elevator he spotted Zayn sitting on a chair in the welcome center with Logan on his lap eating mini Oreos from a bag she was holding still wearing her backpack on her back. She smiled and waved at him as soon as she saw him then pulled on Zayn's fingers as the dark haired man stood up giving her to Harry.

"How are they? You look like hell but you're glowing, look at you and are those Louis' fingerprints?" Zayn raised his eyebrows seeing Harry's wrist a little bruised up.

"He was in the middle of a contraction. They're okay and Evan looks just like Louis." Harry beamed with happiness hugging Logan close to him.

"Niall and I will come see them after work...I have to go back but tell Louis we'll be here later. Congratulations."

"I will and thanks for watching her."

"No problem. I'll see you later cupcake, I love you." Zayn gave her a quick kiss.

"See You later uncle Zayn, I love you too." Logan smiled waving until Zayn turned around to leave.

"Did you had fun at school?" Harry asked her kissing her cheek while she ate another cookie giving him the part with no filling.

"Yes, I played hide-n-seek and I found them all daddy and then I ate the PB & J sandwich uncle Niall made for me. It was yummy." Logan babbled while Harry listened.

"Uncle Zayn got you the Oreos?" Harry shifted her to his other hip after letting her press the elevator button.

"Yes and I said lots of thank you's and gave him lots of kisses. We gonna go see daddy now? Why is daddy here?" She asked fiddling with the collar of Harry's shirt.

"Yup, we're gonna go see daddy and there's a little person that wants to meet you too." Harry informed her getting her ready to meet her brother.

She stayed quiet for the rest of the way up and when they were outside the door of Louis' room he took a deep breath and opened the door seeing Louis cooing at Evan before kissing his hand then looked at Logan just in time to see her staring at the bundle of blue blankets in her daddy's arms. She narrowed her eyes then furrowed her brow the way she did when she didn't liked something or was jealous. Louis shifted the baby a little to be more comfortable looking at Harry with worry in his eyes seeing the way she was behaving, something he had been dreading since the moment he found out he was pregnant again.

"Hi sweetheart, I missed you." Louis smiled at her while she only had eyes for the baby.

"I think your Bubble wants to meet you lovebug." Harry whispered.

He didn't waited for her to say something and instead walked up to Louis and set her down on the bed next to him after telling her to be careful with daddy's tummy because he was still a bit sore after Bubbie had to come out. She was pouting while Louis and Harry waited nervously for any kind of reaction relaxing when the baby opened his eyes letting out a tiny yawn and her pout slowly turned into a smile and slowly touched his hand with her finger wanting to pull it back a bit startled when Evan grabbed it trapping it inside his tiny fist.

"Hi Bubbie...that's my finger silly." Logan giggled then leaned down to kiss his forehead while Harry made sure to get pictures wanting to keep that moment forever.

"Do you want to hold him love? Give me a kiss before you do." Louis said getting a big kiss from her.

She stayed still sitting on the bed with her legs hanging from the side smiling when Harry set the baby in her arms never letting go until he began whimpering and was given back to Louis. They smiled adoring their baby girl when she offered one of her Oreos with the filling still on to him then explained he could only eat baby formula for now but he would be able to eat like her when he got older.

"Our mums will be here later and Gemma already offered to spend the night with you but I told her I'm staying and she's just going to bring me clean clothes." Harry said watching Logan to keep her from moving too much while she only had eyes for Evan.

"Bet she's so excited to meet him." Louis looked up at Harry from where he was feeding him knowing their son had a big appetite.

"He's my Bubbie daddies. Right Bubbie? You're my baby Bubbie, yes you are." She cooed taking his hat off to see if he had any hair then tried to put it back on pleased to know he had a lot and wasn't bald like her baby dolls.

****

"We're all going home now?" She asked a while later already bored while Evan slept in his bassinet much to her annoyance when all she wanted was to play with him.

"Daddie and Bubbie have to stay a little longer but I think auntie Gemma is coming to get you." Harry poked her cheek earning a giggle.

"Now?" She asked.

"No, not yet. We have to wait little longer." Harry answered.

She continued minding her own business and coloring a page in her book until Evan started crying and they were left amazed at how fast she was out of her seat and next to him trying to comfort him as much as she could patting his chest even though she could barely see him. And when Harry carefully picked him up as if he would break at any moment Louis just smiled at how concentrated he seemed to be by just the simple task of holding their son while Logan wondered out loud how in the world had he been able to fit inside daddy's tummy then answered her own question telling him their daddy could do magic.

He happily sighed being at his happiest watching Harry accommodating Logan on his lap while he held Evan with his other arm where they looked so small and not wanting it to turn into just a vague memory in his head he grabbed Harry's phone capturing the moment. When he looked back at them out was to see Harry smiling mouthing a thank you and a little bit later an I love you with him doing the same meaning every single word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The baby on the pic is older but that's how I imagine Evan, try to imagine him as a newborn lol. I hope you guys like the chapter. :)
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> Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/PicsArt_1402009886983_zpsa4e37d67.jpg
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> Thoughts? :)


	36. I want to be heard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can't see the pic just right click on it or select view image if you're on mobile. For some reason I can't see them but if you can great! You guys should listen to the song. Sorry for the late update and I hope you guys like this chapter. Enjoy! :)
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> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-4ey7gs06o

 

By the time their families showed up that afternoon Logan was passed out in the sofa and Evan wide awake waiting for Louis to feed him full on crying at first to let them know he was hungry then little whimpering sounds until Louis would feed him. He would eat while looking up at Louis never taking his blue eyes off of him that Harry was fully convinced would stay that way and be a little bluer than Louis'.

 

Even though he couldn't focus them yet he would only blink getting drowsy falling completely asleep with the teat still in his mouth sucking until the bottle was empty holding onto Louis' pinky finger with his tiny hand. With a smile on his face Louis had mentioned to Harry how calm Evan was while waiting to be fed instead of crying louder and louder the longer he would take to feed him like Logan used to do when she was a baby. The first ones to visit were Jay and Anne with already teary eyes seeing a tired but happy Louis holding their grandson in a bundle of blankets and Harry sitting on the sofa next to Logan getting the hair out of her face.

 

"Oh look at him, he's a beauty." Jay smiled looking down at the sleeping baby.

 

"He looks just like Louis, he's such a precious little boy." Anne smiled.

 

"Who's going to hold him first?" Louis asked getting ready to hand him over watching them in amusement trying to decide who.

 

"Anne you are going to hold him first." Jay decided getting out of the way pushing her forward.

 

Louis gave him to her watching how Anne couldn't hold back the tears and started crying while looking down at Evan already loving the tiny boy in her arms with all her heart and apologizing for crying making Harry look away and feel bad for taking away her chance of holding Logan when she had been born. Logan chose that moment to wake up and look around rubbing the sleep out of her eyes quickly getting up latching onto her Ninna's leg as soon as she saw her crying kissing her thigh multiple times to get her to stop crying.

 

"Don't cry Ninna, Bubbie's okay...I'm okay. And daddies are okay too." Logan looked up at her with sad teary eyes about to cry.

 

"They're happy tears pumpkin, you get them when you're happy." Anne bent down hugging Logan close to her and the baby.

 

"You're happy because I love you and my Bubbie loves you too." Logan kissed her cheek smiling when Anne kissed her back.

 

She held both of her grandchildren for a little longer before giving Evan to Jay taking a seat next to her with Logan in her lap while Louis couldn't help but notice how quiet Harry was. By the time Jay gave Evan back to Louis, Mark, Robin and Gemma walked into the room holding flowers and blue balloons as well as a gift for Logan not wanting her to get jealous then watched as she happily opened it hugging the superhero action figures thanking them then got up to hug them giving them kisses. Gemma wanting to hold her nephew a bit longer let Mark and Robin hold him first while she patiently waited coloring with Logan until it was her turn and giving Logan a kiss on the cheek she took Evan from Robin who as well as Mark were the proudest grandparents to two wonderful kids, Gemma smiled happy to see he was awake as he waved his arms around already wearing a pair of white mittens after almost scratching his face.

 

"Aren't you the cutest baby ever...my God look at those gorgeous blue eyes and those eyelashes, you definitely take after Louis don't you." Gemma cooed moving over to the corner to have alone time with him.

 

"Are the girls outside mum?" Louis asked Jay who nodded at Mark to let them in knowing how loud they could get.

 

Lottie and Felicite rushed to Louis while the twins quietly walked up to Gemma wanting to see Louis' new baby. After she let them hold him they focused their attention on Logan who seemed happy with it while the two older girls gave all their attention to Evan.

 

"He's so cute Lou...and he looks a bit like Logan when she was a baby." Lottie smiled down at the baby in her arms while Felicite fixed his hat.

 

"Except she had the cutest curls." Felicite sighed kissing the top of his head.

 

"How are you feeling love?" Jay asked her son as soon as she got a chance alone with him.

 

"Great...happy." Louis smiled watching Gemma trying to take Logan out of Harry's arms as he slapped them away shielding a giggling little girl from her with his body while Anne tried to make them quit laughing when Gemma used her as a shield and Harry immediately stopped slapping her hands away.

 

"You look happy, I see that tiny spark in your eyes again and its the best thing I've ever seen." Jay started crying feeling Louis' arms wrapping around her waist just like when he was little.

 

"I am happy mummy...don't worry about me ever again, I'm okay so please don't be sad ever again." Louis mumbled against her stomach feeling her fingers massaging the back of his head.

 

Later that afternoon Louis couldn't help but feel sad when his parents and sister had to go back as well as Robin and after a long goodbye they left leaving Anne and Gemma behind who decided to go home and take Logan with them. She had cried herself to sleep next to Louis not wanting to leave them behind but she had to take a bath and get a good night sleep so she could be well rested for school the next day. Almost half an hour before visiting hours were over Zayn, Niall, Liam and Eleanor walked in through the door holding blue balloons wanting to meet their nephew. Zayn was the first through the door making Louis laugh when he saw the video camera in his hands filming everyone holding him until it was his turn handing it over to Niall then gently took the baby from Eleanor.

 

"He's so adorable and he's going to be a heartbreaker. Aren't you baby boy." Eleanor cooed taking his hand rubbing the top of it with her thumb.

 

"Both of your kids are going to break hearts left and right." Liam teased then focused back on Evan making silly faces.

 

"Please tell me he already pooped on Harry because I don't want to be the only one. Logan did it to me and now he has to do it to Harry." Zayn looked at everyone with raised eyebrows.

 

"Sorry Zayn." Louis said then laughed when he pouted.

 

"One day." Zayn said rocking him to get him to stop crying smiling when he calmed down.

 

"Look at that! He calms down when you rock him and Logan never did, she only cried louder...It's like he's familiar with it..." Niall trailed off, a look of realization crossing across their faces making Louis blush an angry red and Harry grab his hand squeezing it a bit.

 

"So when do you go home Lou?" Eleanor asked putting a hand over Zayn's mouth to keep him from teasing them.

 

"I think Friday but if I could I would go now, I just want to sleep in my own bed." Louis sighed wincing a bit in pain groaning when he heard Zayn softly singing rock-a-bye-baby while rocking him looking straight at him.

 

"Zayn quit it." Niall smacked the back of his head.

 

"Just wait until you have your own." Louis playfully rolled his eyes giving him a weird look widening his eyes in surprise seeing Zayn smiling like a fool.

 

"Niall James Horan are you pregnant!" Louis exclaimed startling Evan letting out a loud wail calming down when Zayn softly rocked him.

 

"I'm not, Zayn's just messing with you Lou. We already agreed on no kids until we're married and a hundred percent ready and sure that we can care for a baby." Niall cleared things out taking a seat next to Louis.

 

"That's reasonable. How's all the planning going?" Louis asked both Zayn and Niall.

 

"We're getting there...can be a bit frustrating sometimes but we're so excited." Niall smiled at Zayn who only had eyes for the blond at the moment.

 

"And like I promised, I will help you with the rest now that Evan's out."

 

"Thanks Lou."

 

~*~

 

The next day Louis was allowed to take a shower insisting on doing it on his own while Harry who had already showered the night before stayed with Evan. He tried to dress faster hearing his son's cries getting louder and louder relaxing when they stopped then walked out of the bathroom seeing a disheveled and flustered Harry with the tip of his pinky on Evan's mouth while he furiously sucked on it.

 

"You okay love?" Louis asked slowly walking up to them taking a seat on the sofa next to Harry.

 

"Yeah I'm okay." Harry sighed then let out a tiny whimper when Evan started crying again.

 

"Harry..."

 

"I- I did something wrong...y- you left and he started crying and I knew he was going to hate me, I'm already a horrible father to him. Louis I made him cry." Harry nervously babbled until Louis shut him up with a kiss then pulled away smacking the back of his head.

 

"You're a great father and he doesn't hate you. His blanket is a bit loose and it needs to be a little more secure around him so he feels safe, nice and warm...he's just a day old and probably not used to being out of me yet. You already proved you're an amazing dad, you'll learn how to take care of him soon enough so don't worry." Louis smiled rubbing on the spot where he had smacked him then secured the blanket around him letting him fall asleep.

 

"How do you do it?" Harry asked looking at him.

 

"You just make sure it's not too tight around him." Louis shrugged.

 

"No. How do you do it?" Harry asked again.

 

"Do what?" Louis furrowed his brow in confusion.

 

"How are you so patient with me...and why? You're amazing and beautiful you know." Harry smiled looking down at the sleeping baby.

 

"I am amazing and beautiful...I'm offended you just figured it out." Louis teased resting his head on his shoulder.

 

"I figured it out a long time ago...I was just too stupid to not let you know." Harry wrapped an arm around Louis kissing the side of his head.

 

"Don't get mad okay, but...if you had the chance to see Adam again would you?" Louis asked closing his eyes when he felt Harry stiffening.

 

"I...I don't know, I know I'm no better than him but I never understood how a father can torture his own children the way he tortured Gemma and I like we meant nothing to him. That was before I knew about Logan and after I found out about her I knew I would never understand it...I would never hurt them or let anyone or anything hurt them, I would give up my life for them. All I wanted was for him to accept me and love me again but I realized he never loved me in the first place." Harry felt a lump in his throat as he spoke while his vision blurred with unshed tears he willed away lifting Evan up to kiss his forehead.

 

Louis never asked about Adam again and instead wrapped his arms around him kissing his jawline whispering he loved him wiping a tear away feeling horrible for bringing it up. By the time Gemma and Anne showed up with a hyper Logan who went straight to Evan happy to see her was awake, Harry's nose was still a little red but lucky for him his mother and sister didn't noticed he had been crying. He helped Louis walk around the hallways wanting to take Logan with them to spend time with her but she had waved them off telling them they'll be okay without her only paying attention to her brother and asking Anne if she could hold him.

 

~*~

 

The next day which was a Friday it was finally time for Louis and Evan to go home, Harry had Evan in his car seat while Louis was wheeled to the car in a wheelchair by a nurse. Louis had made sure their baby was bundled up for the already cold London air dressed in a white long-sleeve bodysuit with cute fox patterns, a navy zip-front hooded cardigan and pull on pants wearing the tiny sneakers Harry had gotten him loving how excited Harry was when he put them on. As soon as Louis and Evan were in the backseat and Harry on the driver's side they headed home taking longer to get there when Harry drove slower than usual paranoid of getting into an accident and hurting Louis' stitches that according to Dr. Lane were healing nicely. He would yelp then ask Louis if they were okay every time he would hit a bump then drive slower until he was stopped by a cop who let them go when he saw why he was driving so slow. Anne was already waiting for them at the front door helping Louis out of the car while Harry grabbed Evan making high pitched noises chuckling when Evan only blinked at him sucking on his thumb following his mum and Louis to their bedroom.

 

"Is Gemma picking Logan up from school?" Harry asked letting his mum take the baby out and hold him.

 

"Yeah love, she just left." Anne glanced at Harry then focused her attention back on the baby.

 

"Are you hurting, you need something?" Harry questioned Louis seeing him frowning a bit.

 

"No, I'm okay." Louis smiled.

 

With Harry's help Louis moved to the keeping room smiling and thanking Anne when she placed Evan in the bassinet basket next to him then left them alone to prepare lunch. A few minutes later Harry walked in with Buttercup keeping his leash in a tight hold then watched Louis take him out of the basket to introduce him to the dog smiling when he slowly sniffed him then rested his hand on Louis' lap looking up at the baby in the same way he would to Logan when she was sleeping and he was looking after her guarding her from any harm.

 

"I think Buttercup likes him. Don't you boy, you like Evan." Harry pet him then let him go when they heard Logan shouting that she was home startling Evan letting out a whimper.

 

They saw her running into the kitchen to give Anne a hug and a kiss doing a double-take seeing Louis sitting on the couch smiling at her then after hugging Anne's legs she ran to them. Harry picked her up kissing her forehead then sat down next to Louis where she gave him a kiss then focused on Evan who had his eyes open and sucking on his pacifier, not the one Harry had given him because he wanted to keep it like the pink one from Logan's he still had.

 

"Hi baby Bubbie, I missed you." Logan cooed grabbing one of his hands balled into fists trying to open it up smiling when it did then pouted when Evan moved his hand away balling it into a fist again.

 

"How was school love?" Louis asked her smiling at how careful she was with him.

 

"Good. Daddies I told Mrs. Teasdale I'm a big sister and she thinks I'm the best big sister ever and says Bubbie loves me lots like I love him. I love you my Bubbie." Logan kissed his hand then wrapped an arm around Harry's neck resting her right cheek against Harry's left one.

 

"Is Tabitha being nice to you and Lux?" Louis asked brushing her hair with his fingers.

 

"Yes, she doesn't push me or pulls my hair 'cause I pulled hers and it hurt." Logan explained playing with her hair comparing one of her curls to Harry seeing hers were a different color.

 

"Just be nice to her okay bug." Harry wrapped his arms around her.

 

"Food's ready. Pumpkin come wash your hands." Anne called from the kitchen making Logan jump out of Harry's arms and run to her stopping halfway there turning around to go back and kiss Evan before going back to the kitchen.

 

That afternoon Harry was put in charge of giving Evan his first ever bath with Anne's help while Louis observed and Logan and Gemma were out shopping. Louis smiled while Harry held a naked and wiggly Evan ready to set him down in the tub and as soon as he did he let out a loud wail pouting his tiny bottom lip making Harry hold him back against his warm naked chest where he calmed down.

 

"Harry you have to put him down and hold his head up, I can't help you if you're gonna be holding him all the time." Anne gave him a stern but motherly look and even though she had told Louis to rest he still wanted to get up and help him knowing how insecure Harry was when he pouted looking at his mum then back at Evan.

 

"But he doesn't like it. See?" Harry said lowering him down again where he pouted then his lip trembled before he started crying again until he felt Harry's warmth once again.

 

"Harry..."

 

"Mum..."

 

"..."

 

"Babe you have to put him down even if he cries, he needs a bath and he'll be okay...he'll get used to it. I promise he's not hurting." Louis reassured him while Anne watched with a tiny smile how that seemed to do the trick when Harry put him down mumbling I'm sorry's.

 

He held him and listened to Anne as she explained to him what to do and how to do it while Evan cried his little heart out and Louis watched knowing how much it meant for Anne that they were letting her help them hearing her soothing him in a warm and soft motherly voice. He was still crying when Gemma and Logan walked in and as fast as Logan could she rushed over to them before she started crying just by hearing and seeing her brother crying.

 

"Daddy he doesn't like it and its hurting him." Logan cried running to Louis where he hugged her kissing the top of her head.

 

"He's not hurting love, he just doesn't like the baths right now because he's still little but he will later on." Louis explained rubbing her back until she stopped crying as soon as Evan did wrapped in a fluffy blue towel.

 

Harry dressed him up into tiny footed pajamas with a teddy bear design on the small pocket leaving Harry confused and wondering why the hell did it had a pocket then smiled putting his pacifier in it putting said pocket to use then put a hat on his head that Logan had helped him pick. That night Louis finally went to bed content with being close to Harry who as soon as his head had hit the pillow had fallen asleep with his mouth wide open until Louis slowly closed it up kissing the tip of his nose quickly looking over at the bassinet hearing a tiny whimper before it was silent again.

 

Evan had woken up a total of four times wanting to be fed or needing a diaper change and by morning Louis didn't had the heart to wake Harry up for his daily morning jog around the block which he hated ever since many of the female neighbors started running too just to flirt with him to the point where he would snog the shit out of him at the front door before letting him go watching them scowl at him with a smile on his face knowing Harry was all his. He would laugh at them for acting like fools not knowing the difference between Harry being nice and polite, and Harry flirting. Instead he let him sleep telling Anne and Gemma he had been the one taking care of Evan all night.

 

At around ten Louis was feeding Evan while Logan watched them when Harry walked into the kitchen fully awake and dressed kissing all three of them then warmed up the plate of food Anne had left for him and as soon as it was warm enough he sat down to eat next to Louis giving Logan a piece of bacon smiling when she gave him a toothy smile. He was almost done eating when they heard Anne and Gemma arguing while Gemma tried to stop Anne from walking into the kitchen.

 

"What's going on?" Harry pushed his plate away.

 

"Nothing H, mum and I were just having a little argument...nothing to worry about." Gemma quickly said.

 

"Gemma please." Anne sighed rubbing her hands on her face.

 

"No mum, just no! Don't you dare tell him...he doesn't have to go just like I'm not going, I don't care if his time is running out." Gemma hissed as her eyes filled with tears and Harry could see the sorrow in them.

 

"He has to know." Anne insisted.

 

"Whatever...go ahead and hurt him then." Gemma glared taking Evan when Louis gave him to her then took Logan's hand and walked out of the kitchen taking them downstairs to the playroom.

 

"Harry...it's Adam, you and Gemma have to go see him." Anne carefully told him watching Harry go as white as a ghost then Louis grabbing his hand.

 

"No, I'm not going. I don't want to see him and I can't leave Louis and the kids alone or take them with me, Logan has school and Evan's not even a week old...he's too little." Harry quickly declined.

 

"Harry..." Anne insisted.

 

"I said I'm not going...mum you can't make me." Harry desperately begged when he couldn't deny his mother anything.

 

"Harry he's dying...he doesn't have much time left." Anne said watching Harry's face drop knowing that deep inside her son still cared about him.

 

"W- what? What happened?" Harry tightened his grip on Louis' hand trying not to cry.

 

"He was badly beat up and stabbed multiple times, Robin said its a miracle he's still alive and...they- they cut, they cut his tongue off. He can't talk." Anne explaining rushing to him when Louis couldn't support his weight.

 

~*~

 

Much to Harry's protests Louis ended up packing a few bags for them and the kids not wanting to let him go alone and soon they were outside their parents houses unloading their bags while Gemma kept her distance from Anne still angry at her for telling Harry. As soon as they were accommodated and Evan was sleeping in his bassinet as well as Logan on the bed next to him Louis stayed there to watch them while Harry did what he had to do after convincing Gemma to go see him at the hospital.

 

When they got there two police men were guarding the door and Gemma was let in first coming back out twenty minutes later with red rimmed swollen eyes and a red nose throwing herself at Harry into a hug that he quickly returned kissing the side of her head. She tightened her grip around him then let him go inside where he fought the urge to cry and leave seeing him bruised up, hands handcuffed to the bed rails and his mouth where he no longer had a tongue covered by a bandage looking weak and almost dead.

 

He took a seat next to him waiting for him to open his eyes and when he did all he saw was a mixture of sadness and regret yet he could still see it in his eyes hating that his only son liked men. They had told him he was badly beat up after the other inmates had found out why he was there and what he had done to his own children. He looked him in the eye not understanding how a father could hate his son that much and not really knowing what to say and trying to ignore the fear of rejection he gently took his hand in his surprised when he tightened his grip on it wondering if he was doing it because he was dying or because after all he still loved him.

 

"Louis and I had a baby...he's not even a week old." Harry mumbled not really knowing what to say looking at their hands avoiding his eyes not wanting to see the hate and disgust. "His name is Evan...you already know about Logan, she's four...almost five this February fourteenth. I've only known her for less than a year but I love her with all my heart." He smiled a little.

 

"You know...before I knew I was a father I've always wondered how can a father, any father hate his children the way you hate me and now that I have two kids I'm sure I never will. I see them and I think to myself how can I or anyone hurt them...because I would never hurt my own flesh and blood, I- I would never torture them the way you tortured me.

 

I know I'm no better than you and I was a monster who went as low as sexually abusing the boy who was my best friend, the boy who had to raise a daughter on his own because I'm the ass hole who fucked up and didn't had the right to see her. I missed four years of her life but I'm the only one to blame for my actions, you- you turned me into a monster...you made me feel worthless." Harry confessed looking into his wide open eyes feeling the tears rolling down his face as he slowly let go of his hand watching him struggle to grab it again.

 

"Sometimes I look at my daughter and think about how Gemma was once her age and how I once was a defenseless newborn like my son, I think about how you beat her up for trying to protect me when you watched us grow up...when you promised you would never let anyone or anything hurt us. Your beatings, your verbal abuse and all that torture really hurt me but not as much as hers hurt me and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't protect my sister from you when I shouldn't have had to protect in the first place because it was you who had to love, accept and protect us no matter what.

 

Do you remember my very first day of school when I was four because I remember it very well, I remember how scared I was and how you held my hand tight...you took a seat next to me and told me everything was going to be okay and that you loved me, that you'll be waiting for me at the end of the day and I believed you. I believed everything you said and look where it got me." Harry finally let out a sob covering his face with his hands then moved them to see him looking the other way but that didn't stop him.

 

"You taught me how to kick a ball, I scored my very first goal for you because I wanted you to be proud of me and I hid who I really was...I- I treated my best friend like crap just so you would stop hurting us, just to protect him...just so you would stop telling me how much you hated me and how disgusted you were by me for liking men. For loving my best friend. I did everything I could just so you could be proud of me like you were when I won all those medals that in the end I ended up throwing away. I acted just like you so you would love me again but you want to know what I realized? I realized that you never loved me in the first place, you never loved me and it hurts because after all this time...after everything you did to me I still love you and I will always love you because you're my dad...you're my dad and no one's going to change that." Harry cried while Adam started at the ceiling feeling weaker and weaker.

 

"One thing I learned from you is that I will never do to my children what you did to yours, I will never make them feel worthless or raise my hand at them...I don't want them to be miserable like Gemma and I were. At this point after everything I've done I'm grateful I have a family who I love and loves me back, even though I'm ugly on the inside and I was so cruel to Louis he still loves me and I know you hate hearing this but I love him too. I just wanted you to accept us...Logan would've loved you you know...she's just like Louis, she accepts and loves you no matter what and she only sees the good in people and never their flaws. I have to go back to them but know that I will always love you, always." Harry whispered the last words then without saying anything else he got up from his seat and left the room.

 

He slumped down on the floor leaning against the wall next to the still open door where he could hear every single beep coming from his father's heart monitor then wrapped an arm around Gemma when she sat down next to him letting her rest her head on his chest running his fingers through her hair until their father flatlined and Gemma grabbed his hand lacing their fingers together. All he felt were the tears rolling down his face and nothing else until he finally let out a sob feeling Gemma's arms around him hiding his face on her chest while he cried knowing she was hurting too by the way her shoulders shaked.

 

He cried wishing he would've been different and accepting because if he had been then he would still be there with them and he wouldn't have to hurt the way he was hurting. He gasped for air while Gemma held him feeling his chest physically hurting while Gemma held him hearing his loud muffled sobs until he calmed down and slowly got up ready to go back to his mum's place. He wanted to get Louis and their kids and go back home, back to the life he was happy in. By the time they left the hospital he felt numb and cold all over regretting not staying there until his last breath but knew he just couldn't watch him die.

 

As soon as he walked through the door Louis was already there then ran to him when Louis opened his arms feeling safe inside of them then began crying again while Louis whispered it was going to be okay.

 

"He's gone, h- he died." Harry sobbed while Louis rubbed his back telling him he was going to be okay.

 

Harry found himself nodding then looked to the living room where Logan was sprawled on the couch eating popcorn and watching a movie too engrossed on it to pay attention to anything else and Evan sleeping in the cradle 'n swing Louis had let him pick after he had begged for days to let him get one. That moment he swored he'll do what his own father never did, he promised to love, protect and accept, he promised them to always love them and make them happy. Promised to make them laugh, not cry and scream in agony. Tightening his arms around Louis he promised to always love and protect him, love, protect and cherish the boy he had hurt so much yet still loved him...still loved the ugly him after all he had done.

 

~  
Oh little ghost, you see the pain  
But together we can make something beautiful,  
So take my hand and perfectly,  
We fill the gaps, you and me make three  
I was meant for you, and you for me.

 

You've always loved the strange birds  
Now I want to fly into your world  
I want to be heard  
My wounded wings still beating,  
You've always loved the stranger inside...  
Me, ugly pretty.  
~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_n30kpipZvS1stw8weo1_500_zpsc3f07c65.gif.html)   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Direct:http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_n30kpipZvS1stw8weo1_500_zpsc3f07c65.gif
> 
> Thoughts? :)


	37. Welcome distraction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for taking forever to update! I'm guessing this fic only has two or three chapters left and an epilogue, sadly it has to come to an end. I hope you guys like this chapter. :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxenUj0GsKM
> 
> ^^You might want to listen to it. :)

Adam's funeral was a few days later and even though Harry wanted to go home after getting back from the hospital he decided to stay and at least assist his funeral always with Louis by his side who along with Logan and Evan were the only ones who could comfort him. He was surprised when his grandmother hugged him whispering on his ear how sorry she was for everything he had done to him and Gemma and how she should have taken Adam away from his father when they divorced because if she had done just that then Adam would have been a completely different person and a father to them. She had cried her eyes out when Harry let her meet Logan and Evan with Louis' permission finding out she had been a great grandmother for almost five years spending time with them until it was time for her to go back to Cheshire hugging them goodbye.

 

~*~

 

"I'm not yelling at you! I just don't understand why you want to go there again. I don't get it and we're not going." Harry pulled on his hair trying to change Louis' stubborn mind.

 

"Yes you are and I'm trying to get your son to fall asleep so shut up." Louis snapped feeding an almost two week old Evan.

 

"The bags are already in the car and we're leaving now, I'm not going so just forget about it." Harry said then left the room leaving Louis and Evan alone since Logan was out with Gemma and her new boyfriend Ashton that they had just met and Logan who had completely fallen in love with him had insisted on going with her to see Ash.

 

"I'm not going so just forget about it." Louis mimicked rolling his eyes annoyed with Harry then looked down at his son and couldn't help but smile, the smile only getting bigger when Evan wrapped his hand around his pinky. "I'll make daddy go, you'll see love."

 

They had been arguing all morning when Louis had asked Harry to go with him back to their old school wanting to go one more time so they could finally let go of their bad past before getting married knowing Harry still hadn't forgiven himself. As soon as Evan was out he gently put him in his bassinet then left leaving the baby monitor close to him and the door open taking the other one with him. He left it with Anne after she had agreed to watch him already knowing what Louis wanted to do.

 

He slowly walked outside hugging himself to try and stay warm making his way to the car where Harry was cleaning it up putting the toys Logan thought she had lost in one of her bags, his mind going back to the time where Harry had just met her and how his car used to always be clean and nice when he saw him throwing away all the trash, broken crayons she deemed useless, old drawings and candy wrappers Logan had stuffed in the back pocket of the front seats having claimed it as her personal trashcan.

 

"You should buy a small trashcan." Louis suggested putting a hand over his stomach that was still nowhere back to being like it used to sometimes making him feel insecure.

 

"Thank God it's cold outside. I found a half eaten chocolate bar and a chewed up tootsie roll." Harry shook his head showing him the Hershey's chocolate bar.

 

"Oh that was mine." Louis said taking the chocolate bar laughing when Harry's eyes widened and took it from him throwing it away.

 

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Harry apologized hugging Louis as soon as he had gotten rid of the trash.

 

"Just do this for me Harry, please. School will be over in an hour and we could go pick up the girls." Louis begged resting his head on his chest smiling when Harry sighed.

 

"Just the school...nowhere else but the school." Harry kissed the top of his head feeling him nodding.

 

******

 

They stayed in the car far longer than necessary staring at the building that had a few renovations and was bigger until Louis unbuckled himself and got out of the car waiting for Harry to do the same. They walked around not really wanting to go inside since they had to have permission from the school and instead sat down on a bench looking at the woods in front of them. Louis burrowed deeper into Harry's arms trying to warm himself up relaxing when Harry wrapped his jacket around him letting him rest his head against his chest then felt his cheek resting on top of his head feeling warm and safe.

 

"You have to let it go Harry...just let it go." Louis mumbled against Harry's chest feeling him fixing his gray beanie.

 

"I forgave him. I don't know if he wanted forgiveness but I did anyway...you gave me another chance and forgave me so I figured why not, he was my dad after all." Harry tightened his grip on Louis careful not to hurt him.

 

"I thought I lost you and I got a glance of what life is like without you...when you died in front of me and I just couldn't take it. When I saw you pass out with her still in your arms and you never let her go I regretted keeping her away from you, I regretted never telling you I was pregnant but back then I was too hurt...too damaged. After she was born I decided to keep her from you because I thought you would hate her too...she was half me after all and I thought that since you hated everything about me you would hate her too. I just wanted to protect her." Louis spoke looking straight ahead.

 

"I never hated you and if I had known about her sooner I would have done the same thing I did when I met her, I would have done anything to get both of you back." Harry smiled a little kissing the top of Louis' head.

 

"And I didn't want to admit it back then but you have always been an amazing father to her and now to Evan, I left her alone with you for a whole week and by the end of it she was still in one piece...except when I found her covered in flour and I'm sorry I yelled at you but do you know how hard it was for me to get it out of her hair." Louis let out a small chuckle.

 

"I was scared, I was so afraid of messing up during that week...of messing up every day of her life. She was always and still is running everywhere and climbing everything, I was amazed and at the same time I was so scared that she might break at any moment...I was scared that she might hate me one day." Harry confessed allowing Louis to sit up and look at him.

 

"She will never hate you, you're her dad and she loves you to pieces...she might love Gemma's boyfriend a bit more but...I'm kidding Harry." Louis laughed seeing Harry pouting then kissed his cheek before pinching it.

 

"She loves us both...and her Bubbie." Harry agreed.

 

"Seriously Harry. I can see it and its in the past, you have to move on love."

 

"I can't Lou...maybe with time I'll be able to forgive myself but not now." Harry sighed feeling sadness creeping up to him spotting the tree where Louis had tried to hide from him that night hugging Louis close to him.

 

Later that day after picking up the girls they drove back to London almost stopping once on the way there when Evan wouldn't stop crying and it only seemed to get louder even for a two week old baby until Logan gave him his pacifier and lightly patted his chest until he calmed down and fell asleep and Harry announced they had a baby whisperer in the family. Since it was already a Wednesday night Harry wanted Logan to just wait until the next Monday to go back to school but Louis insisted that she had already missed way too many days and she ended up going the next day.

 

~*~

 

*One month later*

 

"We ran out of diapers, watch him while I go buy more and please don't let Logan eat anymore candy canes from the tree...I knew it was a bad idea, half the decorations are gone now." Louis said handing over a now one month old baby to Harry where he squirmed a bit before settling down in his arms just as Louis kissed him then kissed Harry.

 

"Okay...be careful." Harry called after him.

 

It was already two days before Christmas and Harry had finally managed to finish work on time as well as the pictures he had taken of Evan and Logan so he could spend the week with his family alone after Louis decided to celebrate it just the four of them being their first Christmas together and also the first time celebrating his birthday with Harry again. They had gotten new Christmas decorations and a tree for the house then had spent the whole day decorating and by the end had taken a seat by the chimney in the great room drinking hot chocolate and admiring their hard work. Two weeks before they had already finished their Christmas shopping hiding the presents in the closets of the guest bedrooms knowing Logan didn't go in there unless it was to chase Buttercup all the way there and tickle him.

 

He walked around the kitchen trying to clean it up a bit while holding Evan with one arm pausing to check on Logan in the keeping room where she was taking a nap on the couch just as Evan started crying already hungry. He rushed back to the kitchen slightly rocking him to keep him quiet as he prepared a bottle groaning when his phone started ringing then noticed Logan waking up way too soon and braced himself for a cranky Logan for the rest of the afternoon. He let whoever was calling go to voicemail while he finished the bottle putting Evan down in his bouncer on top of the counter to get things done faster then picked Logan up when she started pulling on his shirt whining about being sleepy.

 

"Bug I have to feed Bubbie." Harry said trying to put her back down but she only tightened his grip around his neck and waist refusing to let go.

 

"I don't want to...you hold Bubbie all the time and I want you to hold me too." Logan cried louder when Harry once again tried to put her down.

 

"I'll hold you and cuddle with you after I'm done feeding him...bug, he's hungry and he has to eat." Harry rubbed her back then sighed when she didn't budged.

 

He ended up on his side leaning against the kitchen island holding and feeding Evan with Logan sitting on top of it still holding onto him until Louis got home about to yell at him for not answering the phone seeing him with his arms full of children. Christmas eve Louis woke up to Harry and Logan singing happy birthday to him seeing him holding the baby and a chocolate cupcake with a single candle with a huge 23 written on top of it in Logan's handwriting making a wish before blowing it out with Logan's help then gladly took Evan so Harry could take a picture of all four of them. After thanking everyone who had called him to wish him a happy birthday he enjoyed a nice homemade dinner made by Harry. Once both Logan and even were asleep in their bedrooms they stayed behind sitting in the dining room table.

 

"Dinner was lovely and delicious." Louis smiled reaching for Harry's hand across the table.

 

"The mashed potatoes were excellent, Logan did an amazing job mashing them...didn't even asked for help." Harry smiled referring to the lumpy mashed potatoes Logan had insisted on mashing herself with no help then guarded it not letting Harry touch the bowl until it was time for dinner when she had proudly announced she had cooked everything herself and her curly had helped but just a bit.

 

"They were amazing...you should take some cooking lessons from her." Louis joked laughing and leaning forward kissing Harry.

 

"I'm gonna have to, don't want you leaving me 'cause I can't cook." Harry tried to keep himself from smiling and instead looked devastated.

 

"Never! We should go to bed, like now." Louis suggested raising his eyebrows.

 

"You tired already? Let me just check on the kids then we can go to bed." Harry got up kissing Louis' forehead then jogged upstairs leaving Louis behind shaking his head at how oblivious Harry was.

 

As soon as Harry stepped into their bedroom Louis closed and locked the door quickly attaching his lips to Harry's trying to unbotton Harry's pants as they stumbled backwards pushing Harry on the bed going down with him when Harry pulled him down. Harry kissed back as eagerly as Louis did now understanding the real reason why Louis had insisted on Evan sleeping in his own room when he was always the one not wanting him out of his sight at all times much less have him sleep in his own crib away from him.

 

Louis paused to take off Harry's button up then his pants making sure to pull his boxes down letting his eyes roam over his body then with shaky hands took off his pants feeling insecure about his body. Harry sat up and pulled Louis down on top of him taking his sweater off then placed his hands on Louis' hips kissing him feeling himself hardening against Louis' thigh not surprised because Louis drove him crazy. He carefully flipped Louis around on his back where Louis wrapped his legs around his waist biting on his bottom lip when Harry began grinding on him.

 

"Lube...g- get the lube." Louis stuttered trying to move from underneath Harry to reach for the lube and a condom under the pillow where he had put them earlier.

 

"Not yet." Harry said grabbing Louis' hands trapping them on his own over his head speeding up his movements.

 

"Harry- fuck, I- I need...Harry please. I'm not gonna last." Louis tried to free his hands not wanting to cum too soon then smirked when Harry let go surprising him when he wrapped his hand around his cock.

 

"Louis...w- wait, oh my god." Harry gasped out trying to get him to let go as he moved his hand up and down.

 

"What was that? I can't hear you." Louis innocently smiled letting go then continued kissing him and pulling on his hair as if nothing had happened.

 

Louis felt around for the lube and the condom given them to Harry and moments later felt one of Harry's fingers entering him as he shut his eyes trying to get used to it again.

 

"You okay?" Harry asked.

 

"Yeah...s'just being a while." Louis mumbled taking a deep breath then motioned for Harry to add another.

 

Harry added a second finger stretching him open kissing up and down Louis' neck then down to his chest trying to distract him hearing him moaning when he wrapped his lips around one of his still sensitive nipples rolling his tongue around it feeling Louis' fingernails dragging across the skin on his back. To Louis' request he added a third one taking his time not wanting to hurt him and when he was ready he put on the condom making sure it was on correctly then lubed himself up lifting one of Louis' legs over his shoulder. He slowly entered him letting him get used to him until he was pressed up against him leaving tiny kisses all over his face then pulled out halfway pushing back in setting up a slow pace.

 

"I m- missed this...yeah right there." Louis moaned against Harry's neck, arms wrapped around his torso while Harry sucked tiny red marks all over his chest and neck thrusting in and out of him.

 

"Like this, yeah?" Harry panted against Louis' neck going deeper then rolled his hips in circles knowing he had hit the right spot when Louis let out a loud moan digging his fingernails on his back cumming hard when Harry wrapped his hand around his cock moving it up and down in sync with his thrusts. He felt Harry shiver once before letting go releasing into the condom letting him rest his full weight on top of him pulling out a few seconds later to get rid of it and clean themselves up.

 

"Are you okay?" Harry asked as he cleaned him up smiling when Louis sleepily nodded opening his arms for him to lay in.

 

He rested his head on Louis' chest hearing his heartbeats still slowing down enjoying the silence around them until they heard Evan crying through the monitor and Louis tightened his grip around Harry when he tried to get up telling him it wasn't time to feed him yet. Harry only nodded nuzzling his face on Louis' chest starting to fall asleep until they heard something breaking them Evan's cries abruptly stopping making Harry jump off the bed quickly putting on boxers not caring whose rushing out of the room to the stairs with Louis following behind.

 

They were nearly panicking until they got there letting out a relieved breath when they saw Logan still half asleep standing up on her stool she used to reach the sink in the bathroom now using it to reach down holding the pacifier on Evan's mouth and one of her fingers from her other hand trapped in his tiny fist. They looked at the broken lamp on the floor that used to be on a nigh table next to the rocking chair figuring out she must've dropped it looking for the pacifier.

 

While Harry picked it up making sure to not leave any pieces behind Louis walked up to them grabbing Logan kissing the side of her head when she wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her head on his shoulder falling back asleep. He put her back in her bed pulling the covers over her then kissed her forehead going back to Evan's room through the bathroom they shared picking him up then walked back to his and Harry's bedroom putting him down in his bassinet. Minutes later Harry walked in holding a sleepy Logan explaining that she wanted to sleep with them and after Louis changed the bed sheets and took turns showering they went to bed already exhausted.

 

The following morning Harry was woken up by Evan's loud cries then whimpers when he picked him up to change him and make him a bottle not wanting to leave him there to keep him from waking up Louis and Logan who were cuddling together in their own little space on the bed wrapped in a blanket like burritos.

 

"Let's get you out of those pajamas." Harry cooed kissing his fist.

 

He grabbed the necessary items and brand new clothes to change him into before he gently lay him down on the changing table kissing his forehead taking off his pull up pants then unbottoned the bodysuit. He lifted the sticky tabs on the diaper forgetting about the one thing his mum had told him to always do but by the time he remembered Evan who wasn't done yet peed all over his hand and t-shirt. He quickly put the diaper back in place waiting for him to be done then wiped his hand with a wipe not really caring that he had pee all over his shirt when he couldn't help but love his tiny son seeing him stretching his arms out and yawning before putting his thumb in his mouth. When he was done he put him in his crib while he washed his hands and took his shirt off picking him up again to feed him and when he had a bottle ready he walked back to their bedroom sitting down against the headboard on his side of the bed next Louis that somehow had ended up in the middle of the bed.

 

"Morning babe...morning sweety." Louis groggily mumbled, eyes still closed pulling Logan away from the edge.

 

"Morning...It's Christmas, I'm surprised she's still asleep." Harry said smiling down at her then the baby holding the sides of the bottle with his tiny hands.

 

"She rather sleep, but wait till she wakes up...she'll be running everywhere." Louis smiled kissing the bottom of Evan's feet chuckling when he moved them away kicking a few times.

 

Like Louis had predicted Logan woke up running straight to the presents underneath the Christmas tree waiting for Louis and Harry to get there and as soon as they got there she started opening her presents cheering every time she opened one then after she was done she handed Louis and Harry a few drawings she had done while in the privacy of her bedroom hiding them every time one of them would walk in wanting to keep them a surprise. While looking at them Louis started noticing she had a talent for drawing like him but her drawings were a bit off and disturbing yet that hadn't stopped Harry from going crazy buying her all kinds of art supplies then also buying for Louis too when he started freaking and painting again full time like he used to.

 

"I'm setting up the timer...go put on a shirt. What happened to your old one?" Louis asked trying to set up a timer on Harry's camera for their first ever Christmas picture together holding Evan with one arm while Logan patiently waited on her spot.

 

"Oh, umm...Evan peed all over it and my hand when I changed him this morning." Harry half shrugged walking to their bedroom still hearing Louis' loud laugh telling him Zayn would love to hear that as he smiled loving his laugh.

 

He put on a new shirt and walked back to the great room where Louis, Logan, and Evan were already on their spots next to the tree then started the timer quickly running to them picking Logan up and setting her on his lap wrapping an arm around her and the other around Louis' waist, all three of them smiling at the camera.

 

December quickly passed by and they welcomed a new year back in Doncaster with their families with Harry and Louis kissing just when the clock struck midnight promising each other to welcome many more together whispering I love you's.

 

When they were back in London Harry went back to work, Logan to school and Louis busied himself with helping Niall and Zayn with the last few things of the wedding laughing with Zayn when he told him Evan had peed all over Harry then when Niall would yell at Zayn for spending more time holding Evan and playing with Logan instead of helping them. Now that the wedding was two weeks away Niall was a nervous mess and all Louis and Eleanor could do was try and calm him down but when the wedding was staring him right in the face not even a high power could calm him down that morning.

 

That special day they walked together to the altar holding hands having insisted on walking there together as one and leaving the same but married ready to start a new phase of their lives. Louis and Greg stood next to Zayn and Niall as Louis glanced at Harry holding or trying to hold a two month old wiggly Evan who had three of his fingers in his mouth and always had to be facing the front or else he would squirm until he got his way. He spotted Gemma and Ashton next to him and Logan who refused to put her flower basket down on the floor and instead had it on her lap giggling when Ashton would tickle her.

 

Niall was in the middle of repeating the vows when Evan let out a loud noise then laughed when Logan shushed him telling him he had to be quiet because uncle Niall and Zayn were getting married. As soon as they were done all they could see was each other repeating and promising to always love each other and when both said I do and were told they could kiss Niall gave Louis a nod raising his eyebrow smiling before he kissed Zayn with all his might hearing the loud cheers and clapping pulling away to look at the guests. They walked down the isle hand in hand and once they were outside the church they were attacked with hugs and congratulations loving the ones from Logan when Zayn picked her up after she attached herself to his and Niall's legs.

 

The reception was everything Niall and Zayn had ever wanted in an elegant and relaxed country house hotel loving the stunning white chandeliers and decor. Once they made their grand entrance and were presented as Mr. and Mr. Malik, Zayn thanked everyone for accompanying them in such a special day for them then after he was done dinner was served. After dinner and when the cake had been cut Louis found himself standing on stage where the dj was in front of the guests ready to make a toast for the happy newlyweds looking back at him wearing the biggest smiles on their faces.

 

"I'd like to make a toast." Louis announced getting everyone's attention and after introducing himself he took a deep breath and began speaking.

 

"I've known Zayn since we were six years old when he moved to Doncaster from Bradford and we immediately became friends after trading our lunches when he said he wanted my sandwich and I just gave it to him. A few years later when we were ten we met Niall when he moved there from Ireland and the two of them instantly became best friends. They've been dating since they were fourteen and that's a very long time. I knew they were the one for each other the moment I saw them walking through my bedroom door holding hands and announcing they were dating...I knew just by looking at the way they looked and still look at each other as if nothing else matters and to me...to me that's true love right there. You both are the best of friends, the best brothers I could ever ask for and I wish you the best, I wish you a lifetime of happiness together. Let us toast to the happiness of Zayn and Niall. To Zayn and Niall!" Louis cheerfully said tipping the glass towards Zayn and Niall.

 

He held hands with Harry listening to Greg then Zayn and Niall's father's followed by their mothers then sisters give their first toasts and when it was Zayn's turn everyone went silent waiting to hear what Zayn had to say noticing he only had eyes for his husband.

 

"I officially met Niall when I accidentally spilled soda all over him during lunch and then I made a fool of myself trying to clean it up using my shirt and I thought he would be angry until I heard him laughing and telling me I had chocolate pudding all over my chin...then later that day I thought how a boy with the prettiest blue eyes like him could ever be angry. We became friends after that and I don't know how it happened but out of nowhere he was all I could think about, all I could talk about. Niall...I love your smile, your sense of humor, I love when you cuss in the mornings because you don't want to get up and would rather stay in bed. I love your laugh, how it makes me laugh even if I'm not in the mood and I love you. I love you blondie." Zayn finished his speech, both of them with teary eyes kissing when Zayn sat down and Niall got up to say a few words.

 

"I love you more babe." Niall said making everyone coo at him and Zayn. "When we were just starting I have to admit I was a little scared of falling too hard for him...I mean look at him. I was scared of getting hurt, I was scared of love for some weird reason but he showed me there was really nothing to be afraid of...and I fell in love with him. You are my friend, my husband and I love your selfless and protective personality...always putting first those you care about and making the time to be there for me. I'm so blessed to have found you and know that I love you and I will always love you. I'm the happiest and luckiest man out there, I love you so much." Niall smiled at Zayn as he mouthed an I love you to him.

 

Both of them walked to the dance floor hand in hand for their very first dance as husband and husband then when welcome distraction started playing and they started dancing it felt as if they were the only ones there looking into each other's eyes then Niall rested his head on Zayn's chest and Zayn on top of his head wrapping his arms around him.

 

By the time Maura and Trisha had danced with them and everyone started dancing, Louis was surprised when Harry asked him to dance leaving Evan and Logan with his sisters who were also watching Alex already so in love with him finding him adorable while Brian and David danced. Louis tried not to smile biting on his bottom lip feeling overwhelmed at the thought that one day it will be them dancing their first dance as a married couple and that day it would be the day that no one would be able to separate them and he will be happy with the love of his life and their children.

 

When the song ended they went back to their table taking all three kids to let the girls have fun and dance. Louis couldn't help but laugh a little when Logan asked Harry to dance with her like Liam had asked Eleanor then smiled in adoration when Harry eagerly nodded like a small child and pulled her towards the dance floor picking her up where she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck. He watched them dance not wanting to think that one day he'll be dancing with her on her wedding day and she'll be all grown up.

 

He noticed Zayn talking to Colton the new photographer who worked with Harry pointing at him and Logan then walked closer to take pictures of a father-daughter moment. He then looked down when Evan kicked in his sleep then pouted his bottom lip pulling him closer to his chest knowing he was familiar with his heartbeats and it calmed him down like it calmed Logan down too.

 

He smiled at Anne when she took a seat next to him seeing the way her eyes shined with happiness when she looked at her son and granddaughter dancing together and making silly faces at each other then smiled when Logan burst out laughing and Harry quickly put a hand on her back to keep her from falling when she threw her head backwards then cupped the back of her head hiding her face on the crook of his neck as he laughed kissing the side of her head.

 

He wrapped his free arm around her resting his head on his shoulder until the song was over and Logan came back with Harry following after her jumping into Anne's warm hold staying there while Harry took a seat next to Louis lifting the blanket to peek in seeing Evan sleep with his thumb in his mouth sucking once in a while then put it back down wrapping his arm around Louis.

 

By the time the reception was over and both kids asleep after Logan had danced with Louis and almost everyone else, Zayn and Niall left for their honeymoon in Paris. Louis and Eleanor hugged them telling them to have fun and after they said their goodbyes to Logan and Evan they got in the car ready to start a new life, just like he knew he was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_mxc146GZmX1rurxvqo2_250_zpsd7ff684e.gif.html)   
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> Direct link: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_mxc146GZmX1rurxvqo2_250_zpsd7ff684e.gif
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> Thoughts? :)


	38. And he loves me so, we're two in a row

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is so late! It's all over the place and wedding planning is not my thing cause I know nothing about it but I tried, hopefully I didn't messed up. Hope you like the chapter. :)

A week after Niall and Zayn's wedding Louis announced the wedding would be July 18 giving them only six months to organize everything and a few days later Louis already had a binder filled with a checklist and everything else he would need, Harry couldn't help but feel better knowing Louis had it all under control. They had picked Liam and Zayn as their best men, Logan as the flower girl and had asked David and Brian if Alex could be the ring bearer thanking them a million times when they said yes smiling when both kids cheered jumping up and down holding hands managing to wake up Evan who was fussy for the rest of the afternoon.

 

By the time January was almost over Louis had the guest list ready and reserved the venue making sure to get the best one in London. On Harry's 23rd birthday Louis organized a surprise party with family and friends with the help of Liam, Niall, Zayn and Brian who managed to keep him out of the house half the day while the rest helped Louis organize everything. He would never forget Harry's surprised face when he walked through the door hearing everyone wishing him a happy birthday and watching Logan hugging his waist before he picked her up.  
To Harry it had been the best birthday spending it with loved ones and after their friends left and the rest of the family was asleep he and Louis stayed up late talking and laughing uncontrollably at the other's stupid jokes and funny memories to the point where their stomachs were hurting until Louis started getting drowsy falling asleep in the middle of a conversation about who was the best superhero. As soon as Harry had noticed he was asleep he observed him for a bit then wrapped his arms around him bringing him closer to him kissing his forehead falling asleep with a smile on his face.

 

Logan's fifth birthday both Louis and Harry threw a party in their own house inviting her whole class even Tabitha who seemed fond of Logan and was now actually nice leaving them surprised but glad that her parents had done something about her attitude. Everything was going great until she made a wish then shamelessly told Louis and Harry she had wished for a new baby sister because there were too many boys in the house and they needed another girl. Their close friends and family had burst out laughing while Zayn high fived her telling them to get to it because that's what his cupcake had wished for getting smacked in the back of the head by Louis who playfully glared at him.

 

That night Harry took Louis out for a romantic dinner leaving the kids under the care of their mums and sisters who insisted and loved spoiling them. Louis' eyes widened when he saw the dinner table in the middle of the restaurant reminding him of their first ever date in that restaurant in Hawaii where he had opened up to him again. Louis didn't know what he had had for dinner when all he could see and hear was Harry until he was left alone when Harry got up to the bathroom. He was about to get up and look for him when all the lights around the restaurant deemed even more leaving them in darkness except for the ones of the stage where the band was playing. He furrowed his brow in confusion when he saw Harry standing there with a microphone in front of him.

 

"I'm really shy when it comes to singing in public but...for him I'll do anything. This is for you Lou, I love you." Harry smiled looking straight at Louis who teared up when the song started playing recognizing and knowing how Harry hated singing in front of others but there he was...doing it all for him.

 

"You touched these tired eyes of mine  
And map my face out line by line  
And somehow growing old feels fine  
I listen close for I'm not smart  
You wrap your thoughts in work of art  
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours  
And though my edges may be rough  
I never feel I'm quite enough  
It may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours

You healed these scars over time  
Embraced my soul  
You loved my mind  
You're the only angel in my life

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours  
And though my edges may be rough  
I never feel I'm quite enough  
It may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the word as such  
I know I don't fit in that much  
But I'm yours."

 

By the time the song was over Louis' eyes were flooded with tears and he could see some of the other people with teary eyes and happy smiles looking at him and Harry. Louis never understood why Harry never liked singing in public when his voice, deep and husky, was the best thing he had ever come across during one of their sleepovers while he had been showering and he had been waiting sitting on the bed when they were fourteen. As soon as Harry was almost at their table Louis got up to hug him and kiss him feeling one of Harry's arms around his waist and his other hand caressing his cheek hearing clapping and cooing.

 

"I love you so much." Louis whispered against Harry's lips resting his forehead against Harry's.

 

"I love you too...so so much." Harry smiled sitting down next to Louis.

 

"That was beautiful, thank you." Louis said as he held hands with Harry.

 

"Anything for you Lou." Harry said kissing Louis' knuckles.

 

After dinner Harry drove to a small cottage on the outside of London away from the bright lights and noise wanting to surprise Louis who didn't even asked where they were heading because he trusted Harry with his own life. When Harry opened the door and let him in Louis' eyes widened taking in the trail of rose petals from the front door to what he assumed was the bedroom then grabbed Harry's hand pulling him there where he kissed him not even bothering to close the door.

 

Harry had intended for it to be slow and passionate but that idea was thrown out the window when he found himself beneath Louis as he shamelessly rode his face holding onto the headboard while Louis wondered why they hadn't done that before deciding nothing could top that. He changed his mind when he was on his hands and knees a moaning mess while Harry fingered him, he buried his face on the pillow when Harry licked a long stripe from the back of his balls all the way to his entrance. He wanted to shout Harry's name but instead let out a series of broken sounds when Harry shoved his tongue inside of him along his three fingers until he was on the verge of cumming making him stop not wanting to do it just yet.

 

As soon as Harry was on his back and ready Louis straddled him holding himself up on his knees then grabbed Harry's cock positioning himself feeling the tip nudging at his entrance. He slowly lowered himself on him leaning down to kiss him pulling back up then pushing back down again repeating it a few times until Harry grabbed his hips to keep him from moving bucking up his own easily sliding in and out. He let Louis do as he pleased trying not to flip him on his back and fuck him into the mattress every time Louis would move his hips back and forth then in figure eights until he got tired and stopped letting Harry do all the work.

 

"Fuck you're so big." Louis said trying to stay still and not move back and forth moaning when Harry moved faster.

 

"You're gonna cum, for me?" Harry kept thrusting into him hearing him chanting 'yes' tightening his grip on his biceps when he grabbed his erection pumping in sync with his thrusts.

 

Harry brushed the hair out of Louis' sweaty forehead where it was clinging to it and when Louis opened his eyes and looked right into his own he couldn't hold it anymore and spilled into the condom running his hands up and down Louis' back kneading his bum helping him move up and down while Louis had a hand around his member pumping until he came all over Harry when he hit his spot dead on.

 

"Oh my God..." Louis took a deep breath hovering over Harry leaning down to kiss him.

 

"Love you." Harry mumbled in between kisses.

 

"I love you too." Louis smiled kissing him one more time before getting off of him laying down next to him.

 

Harry got up to the bathroom coming back with a damp flannel cleaning Louis after he had cleaned himself in the bathroom then laid down next to Louis wrapping his arms around him bringing him close to him where he kissed his shoulder never wanting to let go. The next morning Louis woke up to the smell of pancakes just as Harry walked in with a tray full of them shyly smiling and blushing when he saw they were shaped in hearts.

 

"Last night was lovely...both parts." Louis grabbed one of Harry's hands while Harry fed him a piece of his pancakes even though he had his own plate.

 

"I'm glad you did." Harry smiled leaning to kiss him.

 

"This cottage is lovely, wish I could stay here forever." Louis commented looking around.

 

"It is...sadly I only rented it for one night and we have to leave in a few hours." Harry sadly sighed chuckling when Louis playfully rolled his eyes.

 

"They're gonna get stuck like that one of these days." Harry laughed pushing Louis backwards on the bed where he instinctively wrapped his legs around his waist giggling while Harry peppered his face with kisses..

 

A few hours later they were back home walking in through the garage door and as soon as they walked into the kitchen where Gemma was alone with both kids feeding Evan while Logan was eating fruit with her fingers, she got up and ran to Louis and Harry wanting to be picked up. Louis picked her up kissing her temple as she kissed his back telling them how much she and Bubbie had missed them wanting to know where had they been while Gemma had a smug look on her face giving all her attention to Evan who was looking right back at her in wonder only blinking a few times.

 

"We were out love, go finish your fruit." Louis said trying to put her down stopping just so she could give Harry a kiss then ran back to her seat as soon as her feet touched the ground.

 

"Thanks for watching them Gems. Where's everybody else?" Harry asked going to stand next to her kissing the top of her head before bending down to kiss Evan.

 

"They're out with the girls." Gemma answered.

 

"Hey buddy, I missed you." Harry cooed grabbing his hand just as he finished eating and Gemma pulled the bottle away chuckling when the baby followed it with his tiny hands.

 

"Aren't you a hungry little boy, aren't ya?" Louis cooed bending down next to Harry.

 

They were still praising their tiny son when he focused his eyes on both of their faces then the tiniest of smiles began to form on his lips making a soft cooing sound before he full on smiled kicking his legs and swaying his arms in excitement.

 

"Oh my gosh he's smiling! Louis look he's smiling." Harry nearly shouted excitedly while Louis smiled and nodded taking him in his arms.

 

"Auntie Gemma, are we gonna go to the park?" Logan asked wiping her hands on the napkin she gave her before she was allowed to grab Evan's hands and kiss the tiny knuckles.

 

"Of course we are princess but first let me go change my clothes." Gemma smiled getting up to the bedroom she was staying in.

 

"Here, I'm gonna go get her a change of clothes appropriate for the weather." Louis said passing Evan to Harry.

 

Not long after Louis had left Evan began squirming in Harry's arms as he walked to his bedroom holding Logan's hand letting go when the baby started crying nuzzling his face on Harry's neck. He took a seat on the bed grabbing a burping cloth positioning Evan on his lap making sure to hold him right like Louis had taught him smiling when Logan took a seat next to him.

 

"I'll help you daddy." Logan said patting his back along with Harry.

 

They were still patting his back when Logan got closer to him and continued until Evan burped then spit up all over Harry's sweater just as he leaned against it making a mess and Logan pull her hand away in disgust while Harry just watched.

 

"Eww." Logan scrunched up her nose in disgust quickly scrambling off the bed then ran out of the room leaving Harry alone.

 

"Bug comeback, you said you were gonna help me..." Harry trailed off once she was out of the room focusing on a now happy Evan then grabbed the cloth to clean him up then himself giving up when he realized his sweater was completely ruined.

 

"You think puking all over daddy is funny, huh?" Harry kissed his cheek when he smiled putting him down on the bed to take his sweater off then picked him up again going upstairs to change his clothes.

 

The following weeks Louis spent his days looking for the entertainment hiring the same DJ from Zayn and Niall's wedding after they recommended him not bothering about a photographer since Harry already had that covered. After talking and agreeing where the ceremony would take place they walked hand in hand through the same church where Harry had taken Logan's pictures a year ago having left the kids under the care of Anna who was more than happy to look after Logan and Evan.

 

"Harry! Haven't seen you in a while boy. How have you been?" Reverend Smith walked up to them hugging Harry.

 

"Good. How are you?" Harry smiled.

 

"I've been doing great."

 

"This is my fiance Louis, Louis this is reverend Smith. You've met him before when we came here for Logan's pictures." Harry introduced them once again.

 

"Hi, nice to see you again." Louis shook his hand feeling comfortable around him.

 

"You too. So what can I help you with?" Reverend Smith asked eyeing both boys with a warm smile.

 

"Louis and I are getting married and we would love to do it here and for you to officiate it, it would mean a lot to us." Harry said knowing he would when he smiled.

 

They walked out of there after arranging everything for the wedding going back home to spend time together and while Harry attempted to teach Logan how to play football Louis settled down on the playroom laying down next to Evan for his tummy time already done researching florists and caterers having booked an appointment with the caterers.

 

"It's so hard to organize a wedding you know, but it'll be worth it cause I get to marry your daddy." Louis kissed his cheek then rattled one of the plush baby rattles in the shape of a sheep he had gotten from Gemma.

 

Evan tried to lift his head up and follow the sound until he started getting fuzzy and Louis picked him up getting startled when the ball hit the window glad it didn't break then Harry opened the door saying a quick sorry before going back outside with the ball in his hands to pass it to Logan. Not wanting to go outside Louis sat down on the couch putting Evan against his chest resting his head against it watching Harry standing in front of what was supposed to be their goal post smiling when she kicked the ball scoring a goal when Harry purposely missed throwing himself to the side landing on his side then rolled on his back.

 

He hugged Logan rolling around on the grass when she cheerfully threw herself at him wanting to be congratulated them got up with her putting her up over his shoulders running around in circles while Buttercup chased after them too excited for his own good. When they got tired they walked back inside and after showering they watched Frozen drinking hot chocolate enjoying their perfect evening.

 

~*~

 

After discussing it through they decided on a beach themed wedding because it reminded them when they had started over in Hawaii and now they were the happiest family. Louis had already picked a light blue and white color scheme. Four months before the wedding Louis was a mess trying to do everything at once including keeping up with doctor appointments for the kids when Harry started working again full time leaving him alone having no choice but to take them with him to run errands when Anna couldn't babysit. Thankfully he had already selected and purchased the invitations and Harry was in the middle of planning their honeymoon to the Bahamas after Anne and Jay offered to take care of Logan and Evan when they were gone.

 

"Are you ready?" Louis asked Harry for the second time that morning already knowing they were going to be late.

 

They were in the middle of April and with the wedding being the months away Louis just wanted to book the bloody florist and select and order the cake to get it over with. He had left Evan in his car seat next to Logan in the great room while he went and got Harry, he was still waiting for him to be done brushing his teeth when he heard Logan's ear piercing screams calling for them. He rushed back to her followed by Harry where he found her next to her brother crying and trying to make him let go of her hair only making him more excited moving his hand around pulling harder. He quickly bent down and pried the hair out of his hand making him squirm a bit settling down when Louis gave him his pacifier grinning through it kicking his legs. When he was done he gave all his attention to Logan hugging her tight and rubbing on the sore spot on her scalp deciding that her waist length hair had to go not caring if Gemma and Eleanor wanted him to keep it long until after the wedding.

 

"You're okay love, don't cry." Louis kissed the top of her head while she hicupped hiding her face in the crook of his neck.

 

"It's alright lovebug, just don't get too close to him if your hair is not pulled back." Harry gently said kissing the back of her head.

 

"I just wanted to kiss him daddies." Logan burst out crying again.

 

Louis pulled away kissing her forehead and giving Harry one of the hair ties he always had around his wrist in case she needed one then unstrapped Evan out of his car seat earning high pitched squeals of delight out of him. He waited until Harry was done putting her hair up in a high ponytail having mastered it not long ago then set Evan down in her arms where she quickly wrapped them around him giving him a kiss on the forehead making her smile when he snuggled up against her nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck.

 

"He wants you to know he loves you and he's very sorry he pulled your hair, he didn't mean it love." Louis said taking him again when she gave him back.

 

He strapped Evan back in his car seat then picked it up heading to the car followed by Harry and Logan arriving just in time for their meeting with the florist. They ended up picking Blue hydrangeas, vendela roses, white Hawaiian dendrobium orchids, lisianthus and queen Anne's lace designed in a glass cylinder accessorised with seashells and shell garland for the centerpieces and for the church. Louis left the place happy with their choice and an excited Logan knowing they were heading to the place where she could eat lots of cake.

 

As soon as they walked in for the cake tasting they were greeted by Ashley, one of the vendors who Louis immediately took a liking to and led them to the area while Harry had Logan in his arms not wanting her to accidentally break something while Evan was in his stroller Harry just loved to push around completely passed out after the long day. They were left alone to taste and hopefully pick the perfect one but whenever Louis liked one Harry hated it and so on while Logan who was given a tiny bit of each liked all of them telling them to just buy them all.

 

"I don't like the taste at all." Louis argued making a face while Harry sighed.

 

"What's wrong with this one?" Harry asked trying to be patient.

 

"I don't like it and I don't want to have a banana flavored cake at our wedding." Louis said almost offended just as Evan woke up crying and needing an urgent diaper change.

 

"I'll change him, you keep tasting." Harry said taking the stroller and Logan with him.

 

He walked into a family bathroom quickly getting to work groaning when he figured out he was completely soiled seeing Logan standing far away from them. He tried to hurry while Evan's cries only seemed to get louder and louder the longer he took until Logan covered her nose with her shirt and walked up to them trying to calm him down like she always did.

 

"No crying...that's daddy curly you silly Bubbie, he's not gonna hurt you." Logan cooed grabbing his hand to distract him while Harry tried to hurry up.

 

******

 

"Everything going alright." Louis heard a male voice asking as he waited for Harry to comeback tasting a carrot cake.

 

"Yeah, completely fine." Louis turned around seeing a tall dark haired and blue eyed man standing in front of him eyeing him from head to toe then gave him a lopsided smile which he immediately compared to Harry's already knowing no smile could ever compare to his Harry's smile.

 

"My name's Tanner. Are you a wedding planner?" Tanner asked extending his hand to shake Louis'.

 

"I'm Louis and no, I am not a wedding planner." Louis smiled wondering what was taking Harry so long.

 

"Oh I'm sorry, you look pretty young and you're alone so I just assumed. I apologize." Tanner chuckled.

 

"Don't worry and I am not alone, I'm here with my fiance and he'll be right back." Louis said looking at the samples he still had yet to taste.

 

"Anything I can help you with? Do you have any questions?" Tanner asked.

 

"Not right now...we're still tasting and I think we're gonna take a bit longer." Louis smiled crossing out the banana and carrot cake out of the list Ashley had given them earlier noticing Tanner getting a bit closer.

 

Before Harry showed up in his life again Louis had always been the type to get nervous whenever a man would get too close to him without his consent or him not knowing at least their names. Whenever he was out with Logan he would always hold her tighter in her carrier against his chest with keys in hand between his fingers ready to gouge out anyone's eyes who dared hurt him or his daughter. Now that Harry was back and he had been able to move on and forgive him he almost found it normal again as long as they weren't too close to him.

 

"In my opinion red velvet is the best one." Tanner said standing right next Louis.

 

"It's good but I'm not a big fan of it." Louis shrugged eyeing the vanilla cake with tropical fruit fillings walking up to it.

 

"Just let me know if you need anything." Tanner smiled.

 

"Will do." Louis said then smiled when he saw Harry holding Evan and Logan pushing the stroller.

 

"Hey love, did you find the one?" Harry asked holding the pacifier on Evan's mouth to keep him from dropping it since the clip was nowhere to be found yet he couldn't help but glare at Tanner seeing how close he was to Louis.

 

"I think I did, I really like this vanilla cake with tropical fruit fillings." Louis smiled so bright he could put the sun, moon and stars to shame.

 

"Perfect." Harry smiled walking up to him giving him a kiss pulling away when Evan wiggled around in his arms wanting to go to Louis.

 

They decided on a blue and white five-tier cake heading home after placing the order until Louis changed his mind wanting to meet the caterer to make sure everything was going as planned. Logan was annoyed and ready to drop down anywhere and sleep when instead of going home they went somewhere else.

 

"Daddy I want to go home." She pulled on Louis' sweater as he went over the menu not even paying attention to her.

 

He made a face at the coconut shrimp they were serving for the appetizer changing it to fresh tropical fruit already happy with the tropical punch blends and flavored rums and vodkas for the drinks. He nodded to himself liking the salad and the soutéed vegetables for the side dish frowning when Logan tasted them and pushed the plates away in disgust. He could have laughed loving the fact that she and Harry made the same face whenever they didn't like something and would give to him whatever they were eating expecting him to get rid of it. He was happy to know she liked the lemon braised chicken and the chocolate covered strawberries having to take them away from her to keep her from eating too much. 

 

When they got home Louis gave Evan a bath wishing he wouldn't cry as much as he did every time he so much touched water, now that he had a firm grasp he would cling to Louis or Harry making it harder for them to keep him still. Now that he was sleeping through the night and in his own room Louis and Harry had more time for themselves unless Logan insisted on sleeping with them afraid of the dark or imaginary monsters. Two months before the wedding Liam was put in charge of going with Harry for a tux fitting rolling his eyes every time Harry rolled his eyes not liking the black ones when he and Louis had decided on a gray one while Louis was driving Zayn crazy.

 

"It has to be gray and this one makes me look fat...I mean...look at my ass, I need to lose more weight." Louis complained for the third time.

 

"Your ass looks great and no you don't, you look great." Zayn said wondering what the hell was Louis going on about.

 

"I'm gonna die, the wedding's two months away and I still haven't send out the invitations...and I need to buy a dress for Logan and a tux for Evan...and cut Logan's hair." Louis heavily sighed.

 

"But you have everything else ready, you could get married right now. And I wouldn't recommend you cutting her hair...just a trim." Zayn said checking the time on his phone.

 

In the end Louis settled on a gray two button tux, satin edge peak lapel and Harry on an almost similar one of the same color. A few days later they had the rings ready engraved with an elegant H & L on the inside. That day they visited David and Brian for Logan's play date with Alex and watched with a smile on their faces while Brian explained to Alex what an important job he would have the day of the wedding as the little boy nodded excitedly listening to his father's every words.

 

The day of the fitting for Logan's dress was a total nightmare when she refused to wear thighs and when she tried to walk on the ball gown and floor length dress Louis wanted her to wear she ended up tripping and crying in embarrassment not wanting to wear it anymore. In the end she had picked a tea-length and sleeveless white dress with a floral lace overlay and illusion neckline along with a light blue flower at the waist telling him that's the one she wanted. Choosing a tux for Evan was hard since he outgrew clothes fast and Louis just couldn't pick the one from the many cute baby tuxedos until Harry picked a white one that Louis just loved.

 

It happened one night when Logan was watching a movie and both Harry and Louis were done sending out invitations, Louis had Evan on his lap as the baby entertained himself by playing with his own feet gurgling, imitating whatever sound he heard and blowing bubbles forcing Louis to wipe his mouth pretty often to keep him from drooling too much. Louis had been worried that his six month old still hadn't laughed when they usually did at an earlier age yet the pediatrician had said it was completely normal for him to be a little behind on some things. He was still waiting to hear him laugh until that night when Harry being Harry dropped his phone on the floor groaning when he had to pick it up managing to spill his drink when Evan laughed for the first time. They had cheered and praised their baby boy looking into his blue eyes that Harry had been right when he said they would stay that color.

 

A month before the wedding they had gotten their marriage license getting several copies after Louis had decided to change his last name to Styles after thinking it through for a whole month when Harry had asked if he was keeping his last name. Harry of course was over the moon when Louis had told him about it while the rest teased Louis about going from Louis Tomlinson to Louis Styles telling him he sounded very posh.

 

~*~

 

"I mean...what the hell was that?" Harry yelled at Louis walking into the house followed by a very annoyed and angry Louis.

 

"He was just being nice unlike you, you were a total ass hole to him." Louis crossed his arms over his chest walking past Harry to the kitchen.

 

"Such a shame I won't get to see you in your tux, bet you're gonna look even more handsome than you already are, wish I had someone like you." Harry mimicked Tanner following Louis.

 

"I seriously hate it when you get like this, you act like a caveman and like I'm your possession...a damn object instead of a human being, your fiance and the father of your children." Louis glared checking the time to go and pick Logan and Evan up from Anna's place.

 

Just a week before the wedding they had been called by Ashley so they could approve of the final design before they could bake and decorate the cake. Tanner had shamelessly flirted with Louis the entire time and what had pissed Harry was the way Louis would slightly blush and giggle until he grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the other man. They had argued the whole way home with Louis telling Harry he had embarrassed them while Harry argued that Tanner was lucky he didn't had a black eye by now.

 

"Oh so you wanted me to just stand there like an idiot and watch that fucker flirt with you as if I don't exist?" Harry raised his eyebrows nodding when Louis didn't say anything.

 

"Harry you know I wasn't flirting and I only love you." Louis quickly said realizing his mistake.

 

"No no, leave it...just...whatever. I'm gonna go get the kids." Harry said then turned around leaving Louis alone.

 

"Harry..." Louis tried to follow but by the time he walked outside Harry and the car were gone and he began to panic thinking that maybe Harry now regretted ever asking him to marry him and was going to call off the wedding.

 

He called his mum nearly in hysterics calming down a bit when she told him he was overreacting and Harry wouldn't do that then waited for him to get back sitting at the breakfast bar with a cup of tea. He took a deep breath when he heard the garage door opening then closing again and minutes later Logan ran into the kitchen hugging Louis around the waist as he hugged back kissing her forehead. Harry walked in a few seconds later setting the car seat on top of the counter making no move to take him out since their eight month old was asleep after a long day of rolling around and getting up on all fours rocking himself back and forth attempting to crawl.

 

"Come here." Harry finally said walking up to Louis with open arms and hugging him when he saw how red Louis' nose was.

 

"I'm sorry, please don't call off the wedding." Louis sniffed relaxing when Harry kissed the top of his head rubbing his back.

 

"I'm not gonna call off the wedding. Why are you thinking that?" Harry asked watching Logan walk away coming back with Buttercup.

 

"Because I'm an ass hole and you probably don't want to marry me anymore." Louis mumbled against his chest playing with one of the buttons from his red plaid shirt.

 

"That's not true, you're not an ass hole and I still want to marry you. We're gonna get married this Saturday...in four days you're gonna be Mr. Louis Styles and my husband. Can't go back now 'cause you already said yes." Harry chuckled at the last part but even Louis could sense the insecurity behind those last words.

 

"I don't want to go back...I want to marry you." Louis pulled away to look at him.

 

"Can't wait." Harry smiled leaning down to kiss Louis just as Evan chose that moment to wake up crying and hungry.

 

"Hi sweetheart, daddy missed you." Louis smiled picking him up while Harry grabbed the nasty baby food he had secretly tried when he was alone with him and Louis was out spending one on one time with Logan.

 

The night before the wedding after they had refused to stay away from each other before the wedding Louis waited outside Evan's room until he stopped crying going through a phase of separation anxiety then went back to his bedroom careful not to wake their family up that now both of them were one. As soon as he was in bed Harry wrapped his arms around him kissing the back of his neck calming his nerves down. He couldn't wait to marry the love of his life, the boy who back then when they were younger had planned their Spider-Man themed wedding wanting to forever be with him just like he did too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)
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	39. My wandering soul found solace at last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is long overdue but here is the last chapter before the epilogue, hope you guys like it. :)

The next morning Louis woke up just in time to see Harry before he was taken away by Anne and Gemma to get him ready for their big day while his mother tried to help him get ready with Lottie and Felicite's help. Robin and Mark had taken it as their duty to watch over the little ones while the rest got ready and after Harry was almost ready Gemma and Eleanor who had gotten there earlier tried to get the twins, Logan and Evan ready for the day. After Gemma was done with the twins hair she moved on to get the baby ready while Eleanor tried to do Logan's hair taking longer when she kept moving and whining until Eleanor settled with doing a french braid headband leaving her perfectly styled curls cascading over her back and shoulders adding a flower crown. Once everyone was ready by four o'clock Harry was the first one to leave to the church a nervous mess followed by Louis ten minutes later who wasn't doing any better.

 

******

 

"Mum I'm so nervous, what if something goes wrong." Louis looked at his mother who only smiled wrapping her comforting arms around him.

 

"Nothing is gonna go wrong baby, you and Harry did an excellent job and the church and reception look amazing. This is yours and Harry's big day and...my gosh my baby's getting married." Jay started tearing up out of nowhere as she waited with Louis for the ceremony to start.

 

"We agreed on no tears today mum, you're gonna ruin your make up." Louis tried not to tear up himself.

 

"We're all wearing waterproof mascara." Jay let out a watery laugh making Louis laugh and feel less nervous.

 

"I still don't want you to cry, I want you to smile the whole time and look beautiful like you always do." Louis said putting his hands on her cheeks kissing her forehead.

 

"I'm just so happy that you're finally happy and in a few hours you'll be a married man and starting a new chapter of your life with Harry and my grandbabies...hopefully with more soon to spoil rotten." Jay casually said fixing his hair that was styled back like Jay had told him Harry's was.

 

"Not you too. First Logan then the girls...I do want more children but for now I'm happy with just Logan and Evan, he's not even nine months yet." Louis chuckled when his mother pouted.

 

"Fine, I guess I can wait a few years." Jay smiled.

 

While Louis was now calm and joking with his mum Harry was in another room freaking out as Anne and Gemma tried to calm him down but nothing seemed to work. He had a habit of playing with his hair when nervous yelping every time Gemma would slap his hands to keep him from ruining it then started playing with his boutonniere only to have his mother gently stop him telling him he was going to ruin it. He felt better when she sat down next to him putting an arm over his shoulder bringing him closer to her smiling at his sister before she left the room to go to Ashton and check on Evan and Logan.

 

"Don't be nervous sweetheart. You did write your vows and memorized them, right?" Anne asked gently stroking Harry's left cheek with the back of her fingers like she used to do when he was a child and was terrified of thunderstorms.

 

"I did...I hope I don't mess up." Harry let out a shaky breath feeling his heart almost beating out of his chest.

 

"You won't so don't worry, just take a deep breath and don't be nervous." Anne said trying to calm him down.

 

"I still can't believe he's gonna marry me after everything, it feels like a dream and I'm scared I'll wake up and be alone again before I found them...I'm scared the nightmares will comeback again and maybe this is one of them where I wake up alone without them." Harry said wanting his mum to hug him tight.

 

"You're not dreaming baby, this is really happening and he's going to marry you because he loves you and he forgave you. I know you feel like you're not worthy of him and deep inside you still hate yourself for what you did but just like he was able to move on and leave it all in the past to form a beautiful family with you you should too. You have two beautiful children who love you and a wonderful man who never stopped loving you just like you never did. If you weren't really worthy of him then why did you find each other again, huh?" Anne softly said kissing the top of his head.

 

"Because I love him...and he loves me back, he never stopped just like I never did." Harry's lip trembled letting a few tears fall feeling his mum wiping them away.

 

"There you go." Anne smiled drying his tears before she kissed his forehead.

 

"Thank you." Harry whispered wrapping his arms around her.

 

"Ready?" Anne asked getting up along with Harry grabbing his hand.

 

"Ready." Harry confirmed taking a deep breath then smiled as they walked to the altar where he'll be waiting for Louis.

 

Louis took a deep breath walking next to his mother and behind Logan and Alex who were taking their tasks rather seriously after she had narrowed her eyes at Louis shaking her head when he walked into the church before she and Alex did. As soon as he stepped into the aisle he smiled seeing Harry looking as handsome as ever waiting for him at the altar while the soft music played and when their eyes met it was as if the air had been knocked out of Harry's chest watching him getting closer and closer unable to take his eyes off of him smiling just as he did.

 

When he got there his mother grabbed his and Harry's hands joining them together as she spoke telling Harry that by giving him her first born's hand she was giving him her most precious possession then smiled going to her seat next to Mark and her daughters. Both Harry and Louis smiled at each other still in a daze not quite yet believing they were about to get married then turned around to face reverend Smith who warmly smiled at them before he began speaking.

 

"We are gathered here on this beautiful afternoon to share with Louis and Harry as they exchange vows of their love. As Louis and Harry take their vows today, we are privileged to witness the joyous love of a family. A family that will be nourished and nurtured through the devotion of two separate individuals growing together through the common bonds of love." Reverend Smith spoke as Louis and Harry fought the urge to just look at each other as they held hands.

 

"May their marriage bring them peace, joy, comfort and contentment that is known in both of their hearts. May Harry and Louis both look forward to each new season of their marriage for all seasons bring with them their own special moments and memories. An essential requirement of a good marriage is a strong bond of real friendship and trust. Louis and Harry, your Love for each other will grow deeper with every passing day, but it is important to remember that your Love stands on a fountain of a genuine, mutual affection and respect for each other.

 

To truly love another person is to be willing to accept both their strong points, and their weak points, with equal measures of understanding and respect. The vows you're about to exchange, will serve as a verbal representation of the nonverbal emotions that are as real as anything that can be seen, heard or touched. For it is not the words that you will speak today that will bond you together as one...but the strength of the love and commitment found deep within your souls. At this time I'll ask you, Harry, and you, Louis, to face each other and take each other's hands."

 

As soon as they laid eyes on each other they couldn't help but smile as everyone in the room could see how much they really loved each other, how the universe had managed to create and join two souls so perfect for each other. Two souls meant to be together that after all had found their way back to the other, two lovers that would finally get their happily ever after they had longed for half their lives. They could hear their son babbling nonsense in the background as he sat on Anne's lap calmly playing with her fingers looking up at Logan smiling before going back to what he had been doing.

 

"If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace." Reverend Smith's voice echoed across the church and when nothing happened he smiled sensing how relieved the couple was.

 

"Harry, do you take Louis to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Do you promise to cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Do you promise to trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Do you promise to be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

 

"I do." Harry answered without hesitation noticing the way Louis let out a shaky breath.

 

"Louis, do you take Harry to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Do you promise to cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Do you promise to trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Do you promise to be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

 

"I do." Louis said loud and clear never breaking eye contact with Harry afraid that if he did he might disappear never to be seen again.

 

When reverend Smith motioned for the rings Alex shyly walked up to them patiently waiting for them to take the rings and say their personal written vows just like he had practiced and Louis and Harry had chosen to say after the I do's wanting to give the wedding bands to each other with their own words. Harry gently grabbed the white gold one meant for Louis taking his hands again ready to say those words he had written with love then memorized just so Louis could hear how he felt and how much he loved him.

 

"These words might sound so simple at the moment but they took a while to find, it took a while just wanting to get them right. Words cannot describe how much you mean to me, how much I love and adore you. Thank you for giving me another chance when I didn't deserve it, thank you for giving me two beautiful children and for still loving me after all this time. You have no idea how much I love everything about you, your smile, your eyes and the way you roll them even though I always tell you they're gonna get stuck like that one of these days.

 

I love every word you say and everything you do, and every time you smile at me and tell me you love me as much as I love you it always takes my breath away. Today I promise to love you more and more everyday of our lives and to make you and our children so happy for the rest of our lives. I love you Lou." Harry tried not to tear up seeing Louis already was as he gently placed the ring on his finger then lifted his hands up to kiss them mouthing another I love you.

 

Louis tried to clear his throat glad that the wetness in his eyes didn't rolled down his cheeks as he gently grabbed Harry's ring thanking Alex giving him a quick hug before he walked back to Brian and David who were so proud of their little boy quietly praising him.

 

"From that moment you first smiled at me from your bedroom window I knew how special you would be to me. I never thought I would fall in love with you the way I did but I wouldn't have it any other way, I've heard that home is where the heart is and that's you and our children. Words would never be enough to let you know how much I love you and if I'm honest I'll never be able to find the right ones to describe our love but I do know a few things. I love all of you, I love everything about you and I will always love you.

 

You don't have to be afraid anymore because you're my forever and I have loved you for a long time and I will fall more and more in love with you every day for the rest of my life. You make me the happiest man alive and every night you hold me in your arms I close my eyes and fall asleep feeling safe knowing you'll be there when I wake up. Next to you I have everything I need, I want to get old next to you and tell you how much I love you everyday. I will always love you no matter what and I'll never stop, never." Louis placed the ring on Harry's finger squeezing his hands.

 

"Take these rings as a token of your affection and by the power invested in me I declare you husband and husband. You may now kiss." Reverend Smith said blessing their union.

 

In that moment it seemed as if time had stopped when Harry got closer placing both of his hands on his cheeks then tilted his head a little to the right leaning forward where he soon felt Louis' warm lips on his own moving in sync with them. They smiled into the kiss as the loud cheers and clapping got louder and louder and when Louis placed his hand on Harry's cheek he felt the wetness gently drying it with his thumb, he pulled back and kissed his cheek feeling Harry's warm and safe arms around him letting go to turn and look at the guests always holding hands.

 

"I present to you Mr. and Mr. Styles."

 

As soon as those words were spoken they knew nothing could ever and would never come between them and holding hands they walked out of the church as reverend Smith observed them with a tiny smile content to be able to witness a love like theirs. When they were outside the church they were congratulated and the first ones to hug them were their mothers who held them tight until Evan started squirming and getting fussy in between Harry and Anne and she gave him to her watching how her grandson immediately snuggled up to Harry bringing his whole fist into his mouth.

 

"Congratulations baby, I'm so happy for you." Anne said tearing up.

 

"Don't cry mum, it's a happy day today so please don't cry." Harry gently wiped her tears away watching Gemma walking up to him.

 

"Congratulations baby brother." Gemma hugged him kissing his forehead then Evan's.

 

"Thank you Gems." Harry smiled hugging her tighter.

 

After he was congratulated by Robin, Liam and the rest he looked around for Louis and Logan finding them posing for a picture and when Louis saw him his whole face lit up extending his arm out so he could take his hand pulling him closer to take a picture of all four of them holding their son and daughter in between them.

 

"Louis, congratulations sweetheart."

 

"Aunt Suzanne, you made it!" Louis smiled looking at his mother's sister, the person he had lived with for three months when he had first moved to London.

 

"I couldn't miss you getting married, Spain is not too far away." She smiled hugging him then smiled at Logan as she shyly smiled at her. "Well aren't you a gorgeous little girl, last time I saw you you were just a tiny newborn."

 

"Aunt Suzanne, I want you to meet my husband Harry and our son Evan. Love this is my aunt Suzanne, I lived with her when I first got here." Louis beamed with happiness as he introduced them looking so happy that Harry didn't even had time to think about those first months without Louis.

 

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Harry smiled then was surprised when she pulled him into a hug.

 

"Please call me Suzanne dear, you're part of the family now. And what a beautiful baby, Jay talks about him and Logan all the time. May I?" Suzanne asked smiling when Harry nodded and gave her to him as the baby looked back at Harry with wide blue eyes.

 

He looked at Harry then at Louis before he pouted his bottom lip and it trembled before he started crying wanting and waiting for one of his daddies to take him back. Harry gave her an apologetic look before taking him back explaining he just didn't know her as he rubbed his tiny back to calm him down then took Logan from Louis giving him Evan knowing he could calm him down in a matter of seconds.

 

When they got to the reception they were once again introduced as Mr. and Mr. Styles and Louis couldn't stop looking at Harry and smiling at the way he glowed with happiness. They thanked their guests for sharing that wonderful afternoon with them and soon enough it was time for toasting. Louis listened with tears in his eyes and a huge smile on his face as Zayn talked about their adventures and wished him and Harry the best of the best. Harry knew Zayn was still a bit angry and that it would take time to fully accept him again like he had done before when they were kids but at the moment he was content with Zayn tolerating him. Liam's toast was emotional ad he told Harry he was happy for him and was glad they had shared all those great memories together wished the happy couple the best.

 

By the time the mother and son dances were over it was time for their first ever dance as a married couple and when a Thousand Years by Christina Perri and Steve Kazee started playing Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and Louis around Harry's shoulders. They felt as if they were the only ones in the entire room as Louis rested his head on Harry's shoulder facing his neck feeling millions of butterflies in his stomach not being able to think about anything else but his husband and that moment between them as Harry tightened his grip around him.

 

'I have died everyday waiting for you  
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you  
For a thousand years  
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you  
Time has brought your heart to me  
I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more'

 

"I love you angel." Harry murmured smiling when Louis lifted his head and picked his lips.

 

"I love you too...with all my heart." Louis said meaning every single word.

 

Louis was at his happiest having a great time dancing with either Harry, Logan or his friends and sisters that now included Gemma when she told him she might be his sister in law but she preferred just sister because he was like a brother to her. When they cut the cake they could only take two pictures before a crying Evan was given to Louis immediately calming down and Logan clung to Harry demanding to be picked up. They watched her clean Evan's hand with a napkin after he thought it would be a good idea to grab Louis' piece of cake letting out a happy scream when his hand made contact with it ready to grab Logan's hair when she grabbed it to clean it.

 

They stayed together until both kids fell asleep in their fathers arms and it was time to leave to the airport for their honeymoon to Nassau in the Bahamas with Louis being excited but at the same time not wanting to leave his precious babies behind. Logan woke up just in time before they left giving them hugs and kisses going back to sleep soon after already knowing they were going on a vacation like uncle Zayn and uncle Niall figuring out that's what married people did.

 

~*~

 

"Lou, wake up. We're here." Harry gently nudged a sleeping Louis.

 

It was two in the morning the following Sunday when they got to Nassau's international airport and as soon as Louis woke up they took a cab to the resort where they would be staying in. As soon as they got there Louis was wide awake and once they were alone they looked at each other until Louis raised his eyebrows and slowly walked up to Harry where he immediately picked him up by the back of his thighs feeling Louis' legs wrapping around his waist as they kissed and he stumbled to the bed forgetting all about their suitcases left abandoned by the door.

 

That night Harry made love to Louis taking his time as if that would be his last time with him and after he wrapped his arms around him letting him rest his head on his chest falling asleep with content expressions. The next morning Louis slowly opened his eyes feeling Harry's chest slowly rising and falling with his warm arms still wrapped around him feeling safe in them. Instead of waking him up he burrowed deeper into them shivering when he felt Harry's fingertips running up and down his naked back then his lips kissing the top of his head.

 

"Good morning." Harry sleepily mumbled frowning when Louis moved away from him.

 

"Morning...husband." Louis said scooting closer to Harry so he was laying next to him loving how Harry immediately wrapped his arms around him.

 

"Let's stay here all day long, we can go out tomorrow." Harry said getting comfortable almost on top of Louis.

 

"Yeah okay...kiss me." Louis agreed puckering up his lips rolling his eyes when all he got was a peck.

 

"Morning breath babe." Harry mumbled nuzzling his face on Louis' neck.

 

They spent the rest of the day in bed ordering room service calling home to check on the kids listening when Logan told them all about her day then heard Evan's giggles when he heard their voices. Both of them laughed when Jay told them the way he was kicking his legs in excitement and after they hung up Harry suggested they go out when it was almost dinner time. Louis was surprised when Harry took him to a private beach where a candlelight dinner was waiting, he couldn't stop himself from kissing him under the stars then admired the twinkly lights decorating the gazebo loving every single thing.

 

"This is perfect, thank you." Louis said holding Harry's hand across the table.

 

"I'm glad you like it, I've always wanted to do this for you. We have all the beach to ourselves, we could go for a walk." Harry smiled leaning forward to give Louis a gentle kiss.

 

After eating they walked around the beach always holding hands glad that no one was around to bother them. Harry took a seat down on the sand far away from the waves not caring that he was getting it all over his pants. He pulled Louis down to sit on his lap and instead of him sitting across he straddled him resting his head on his shoulder wrapping his arms around him. Harry laid back down on his back with Louis on top of him enjoying the view of the shining stars and having Louis close to him until Louis lifted his head up and softly kissed him. Harry smiled noticing the way Louis' blue happy eyes shined the way they did before when they first met finding it impossible to look away until he felt the tip of Louis' finger gently wiping away a single tear.

 

"I love you." Louis whispered hoping to finally make Harry see that their dark past no longer mattered, to see that what mattered was their present and future together.

 

"I'll never understand how you never stopped, all those four years I thought you would have moved on but you never did." Harry closed his eyes hugging Louis tighter.

 

"I tried. I tried to move on but I couldn't, you were always there in the back of my mind and sometimes I would think about you before going to sleep, whenever I looked at Logan there you were. Her hair, her eyes...even the way she acted sometimes...it was all you." Louis sighed at the end feeling calm and content.

 

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry for hurting you like that, I was a monster and so stupid. I'm sorry...why do you even still love me, I love you so much but I don't deserve you loving me." Harry started crying while Louis watched with tears in his eyes letting him let everything out and held him until he calmed down.

 

"Remember when we watched Titanic and you stayed in bed staring at the tv until the credits were over because you wanted to listen to that Celine Dion song?" Louis asked then continued talking when Harry nodded not quite understanding what Louis was trying to say. "Do you remember that part that says 'Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime'?"

 

"Yeah but what does that have to do with us?" Harry asked rubbing circles on Louis' lower back.

 

"Oh my God, think Styles." Louis chuckled wanting to kiss his cute pout away.

 

"I don't get it." Harry whined.

 

"Jack died but Rose didn't..."

 

"And whose fault was that? He could have survived too but Rose hogged the door and didn't even give him a chance." Harry grumbled.

 

"There wasn't enough space for both of them and he wanted her to live because he loved her." Louis said thinking not again as he let his head drop on Harry's chest then lifted it up again to look at Harry remembering how they always argued about it in the end.

 

"Yes there was, she was just too selfish."

 

"That's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that no matter what and how long she never stopped loving him, he was her first and only true love. I had never been in love before I fell in love with you and as much as I wished back then to stop once and for all I never did and I could never love anybody else like I love you. It was always you and will always be you no matter what, I'll never stop even after I'm dead. Just like Rose never stopped loving Jack." Louis slowly got up still straddling Harry.

 

"I'll always love you too and we'll always be together even after we're long gone from this world." Harry promised feeling somehow calmer.

 

"I remember reading this quote, 'True love is choosing the many things a person did right rather than the one thing he did wrong. True love does not keep the record of wrongs.' I remember thinking about you when I read it when we got back home from Doncaster after our trip to Hawaii, I thought about all our memories and never did a bad one crossed my mind.

 

You want to know why? Because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to wake up everyday next to you telling you and hearing you telling me how much you love me. I want you and need you to forgive yourself, I did it and now I couldn't be any happier but I think about you not being able to and I wish I could change the way you think about yourself. Wish I could make you see its time and okay to forgive yourself." Louis spoke brushing the hair out of Harry's forehead.

 

"You promise me you'll never stop loving me?" Harry whispered and Louis could sense how hard he was thinking and could feel his heart beating faster.

 

"I'll never stop, I will always love you with all my heart." Louis said kissing the corner of Harry's lips.

 

"I don't...I don't...I don't hate myself as much." Harry slowly concluded and that was enough for Louis who smiled and kissed him long and hard.

 

They went back to their room once again showing each other how much they loved each other. Louis couldn't help but dig his fingernails across Harry's back feeling every drag as Harry slowly moved in and out of him, feeling his lips kissing every inch of his body and his hands touching it. They laced their fingers together coming at the same time staying still until Harry kissed him again whispering I love you's and falling asleep in each other's arms after a long shower together.

 

The next last two days were spent doing all sorts of activities including snorkeling which Louis simply loved and never wanted to leave convincing Harry to stay a little longer posing for pictures and taking selfies after Harry insisted. Harry's favorite was waterskiing and Louis' paddle boarding laughing every time Harry would lose his balance until he pulled him down with him, they splashed each other sharing a few kisses always smiling and laughing.

 

Kayaking was fun except when Louis who was sitting behind Harry would stop and let him do all the work until Harry would start complaining about his arms hurting yet that hadn't stopped him from holding him up against the wall as he fucked him managing to break a lamp when Louis tried to hold onto something other than Harry when he was on the verge of coming.

 

Their last night in Nassau when Harry's arms were too sore Louis rode him into oblivion trying to touch him but couldn't when his hands were tied to the bedpost with his own tie and Louis had complete control over him. The following morning, hours before it was time to go Louis found himself on all fours in the middle of the bed as Harry pounded into him until he pulled out quickly removing the condom coming all over his lower bare back in long white strings.

 

That was enough for Louis who came all over the sheets and himself about to fall down into the mess but Harry quickly held him up then helped him to the bathroom where they showered together. Louis washed the area stained with come in the bedsheets too embarrassed to leave them like that and sooner than they thought they were in an airplane on their way back home wanting to see their babies already.

 

~*~

 

"We're back!" Harry shouted walking into Anne's house getting smacked in the back of the head by Louis when Evan started crying knowing he had woken him up from a nap.

 

"Daddies!" Logan slammed the back door open running to them followed by Buttercup, both of them wet from head to toe managing to hug both of them.

 

"Hi baby, we missed you!" Louis picked her up ignoring her wet clothes wondering what had she been doing until he saw a blue balloon flying across the backyard then heard Gemma screaming and Ashton laughing.

 

"I missed you lovebug, hug me." Harry took her from Louis hugging her tight.

 

"Bubbie and me missed you daddies, he's sleeping 'cause he's tired and he ate all his food." Logan informed them just as Anne walked in holding a fussy baby looking at Harry who only smiled back.

 

"Welcome back, I'm so glad you're back safe and sound." Anne hugged them then gave Evan to Louis watching him cry a few more seconds until he noticed who was holding him then looked at Harry before he rubbed his eyes and rested his head on Louis' shoulder sighing when Louis rubbed his back.

 

"Daddy missed you baby boy, sorry I woke you up." Harry cooed at him kissing his forehead.

 

"What's going on outside?" Harry asked bending down to pet Buttercup after hearing his and Louis' sisters as well as Ashton outside.

 

"Water balloon fight daddy, I'm in the team with Ashie. Down please." Logan demanded running back outside.

 

"All the girls except Lottie are outside and Ashton came over so they thought it would be a good idea." Anne chuckled gently brushing back Evan's hair.

 

"Where are Lottie and mum?" Louis asked.

 

"Appointment with the orthodontist." Anna answered.

 

"Did Logan and Evan give you any trouble." Louis asked smiling when he noticed his son was completely passed out.

 

"They were angels." Anne smiled looking outside wanting to tell them to keep it down.

 

They could see Gemma, Daisy, and Phoebe throwing balloon after balloon at Felicite, Ashton and Logan feeling their daughter was safe when Ashton picked her up running around with her protecting her with his body as she madly giggled screaming every time one would hit them. A few more balloons were thrown before the fight was over and all the girls came rushing to hug them and welcome them back getting a handshake from Ashton until Harry pulled him in into a rough hug while Louis hugged him in a more gentle way appreciating him avoiding touching Evan with his wet shirt.

 

"We won daddies! Right Ashie, we won." Logan said looking up at Ashton.

 

"We did cause we're the best!" Ashton high fived her and Felicite.

 

"Sure you did." Gemma muttered then smiled when Ashton pouted.

 

"Lou, you're back." Jay said walking into the house followed by Lottie.

 

"Hi mum....what's wrong Lottie?" Louis asked hugging them both before Harry did.

 

"They tightened her braces, can't talk right now." Jay explained.

 

"Are you boys staying the night?" Anne asked hoping for yes.

 

"If you don't mind." Harry said smiling when Anne told him she didn't.

 

That afternoon they all had dinner back at Jay's place loving the fact that they were all together like before but this time with three new people in the family. They even loved Gemma's teasing about them being married now remembering when both of them were awkward thirteen year olds. Later that day all four of them found themselves in Anne's living room watching a movie while Evan was finally sitting up on his own madly chewing on the ear of his teddy bear drooling all over his bib already teething and Louis was glad that he didn't cry as much as Logan did.

 

He was giggling up at his parents who were making silly faces when he noticed Logan holding her own teddy bear and abandoning his own he began trying to get to her scooting on his bum using his right leg and arm to help himself until he was right next to her lifting his arm to grab the teddy bear but Logan was faster and moved away still watching the movie until Harry picked him up to give him a bath bracing himself for the crying but was left surprised when instead of screaming his lungs out he only splashed around in the water giggling at the sounds it made.

 

~*~

 

"Do you have to go back?" Louis asked Harry blocking the door to the garage with his body not wanting him to leave, it had been a week after getting back from Doncaster and Harry was already busy with work again while Louis had an interview later that week at Logan's school for the art teacher position for the older kids.

 

"I do but I'll be back by three, I have this photoshoot with," Harry looked around making sure Logan wasn't around then looked back at Louis whispering the next two words. "Little Mix."

 

"Little Mix!" Louis' eyes widened putting a hand over his mouth thanking the gods Logan was in the kitchen eating next to Evan who was in his high chair.

 

"Yeah them. I'll be back soon, I love you." Harry kissed him wrapping his arms around his waist then slowly lowered his hands squeezing Louis' bum.

 

"Harry! There are children in this house." Louis gasped pushing him away biting on his bottom lip to keep himself from smiling.

 

"You love me." Harry pecked his lips wrapping his arms around him once again.

 

"I do love you...a lot." Louis said in between kisses then with a final peck he got out of the way and when Harry was gone he closed the garage door and walked back inside.

 

A few minutes later after he had cleaned up the kitchen a bit and Evan's face and hands that were covered in baby food he took them downstairs to the playroom putting him in his walker laughing and shaking his head because he could only go backwards while Logan attempted to read a story to him. He kept an eye on Evan while listening to Logan when he heard the door bell getting up and telling Logan to watch her brother. When he opened the door a crying Niall threw himself at him wrapping his arms around him and all he could do was hug him back closing the door with his foot.

 

"Niall what's wrong, why are you crying?" Louis asked, his mind immediately going to Zayn fearing the worst.

 

"I'm- I'm p- pregnant." Niall sobbed.

 

"What?! Oh my gosh, congratulations! I know you're so happy but please don't cry Ni, it's not good for the baby. Have you told Zayn?" Louis pulled back almost jumping up and down in excitement.

 

"I c- can't tell Zayn, we a- agreed on no babies for at least two years and n- now I'm knocked up." Niall hugged himself not knowing what to do.

 

"Come with me, I left the kids downstairs and Harry's not home." Louis wrapped an arm around Niall's waist wiping his tears away. "How far along are you?"

 

"T- three months." Niall hicupped.

 

When they got downstairs they found Logan walking around in circles followed by Evan who was slowly crawling behind her and just as Louis was about to cheer because he was finally crawling the baby lost his balance landing face first into the carpet letting out a loud wail as Louis quickly ran to him picking him up and making sure he was okay. He hugged him telling him he was okay kissing his forehead quickly calming down while Logan stared ready to cry.

 

"It's okay sweetie, don't cry. It was just an accident." Louis pulled her close hearing her muffled cries against his stomach.

 

"I'm sorry...Bubbie wanted to get out and play." Logan explained as she cried.

 

"I'm not mad but next time wait until your dad or I are here if you want to take him out okay." Louis kissed her forehead giving Evan to Niall so he could hug her.

 

"Okay." She nodded before going to Niall to give him and Evan a kiss then went to sit at her table to color.

 

"Are you feeling better?" Louis asked taking a seat after Niall did still holding Evan not wanting to let go just yet knowing that in six months he'll be holding his own baby.

 

"He's going to be angry at me for not being careful." Niall looked down at his stomach where a tiny bump was already forming.

 

"He won't Niall, it takes two to make a baby and I'm sure he's gonna be so happy once you tell him. He really wants to be a father, he's told me many times." Louis tried to convince him it was going to be okay.

 

"Yes but not this early, we've only been married for half a year and I'm already three months and...and..." Niall trailed off lightly bouncing Evan up and down when he started whimpering as they noticed the tiny red patch of skin on his forehead.

 

"And what? Niall you're scaring me." Louis sat up straighter starting to really worry.

 

"Twins...I'm having twins. I made an appointment with Dr. Lane and she's pretty sure they're fraternal so at least we'll know which one's which." Niall let out a shaky breath taking an ultrasound picture out of his wallet to show it to Louis.

 

"That's wonderful!" Louis exclaimed as he looked at the picture then sighed seeing Niall chewing on his bottom lip. "Niall...remember when they told you it would be almost impossible for you to get pregnant and here you are now, you're gonna have not one but two babies. Just tell Zayn and you'll see how happy he going to be, he'll probably want to go shopping for baby stuff and things for the nursery." Louis smiled when Niall took a deep breath then nodded running his fingers through Evan's hair as he played with his necklace.

 

"Uncle Niall, are you gonna have a baby like daddy?" Logan asked handing him a colored page from her coloring book then wrapped her arm around his neck.

 

"Yeah monster but I'm gonna have two babies, I don't know if they're boys or girls yet." Niall smiled kissing her cheek.

 

"Did uncle Zayn made two babies in your tummy because he loves you extra and hugged you tighter?" Logan asked as the curiosity took over and she only stared at Niall expecting an answer.

 

"I...Louis do something." Niall pleaded not knowing what to say.

 

"He loves him yes and hugs him tight but uncle Niall just got lucky and now he's gonna have two little babies." Louis smiled while Niall just looked at him.

 

"And uncle Zayn grabs his bum too?" Logan asked.

 

"Logan!" Louis exclaimed blushing a bit completely horrified.

 

"Daddy Curly grabs your bum daddy...I saw him uncle Niall. And he spanks it cause he's a bad boy." Logan giggled.

 

"Okay that's enough young lady, you can let the dog in. Go." Louis quickly said watching her run to open the door letting the dog in who quickly gave her all his attention.

 

"He spanks you cause you're a bad boy." Niall burst out laughing.

 

"Do not talk about it...please." Louis groaned hiding his face in his hands.

 

"You forgot to lock the door or something?" Niall asked still laughing.

 

"Late last night we were watching a movie and we just...you know, but I swear we were still dressed, we were just kissing and she saw us." Louis blushed a deeper red. "No privacy at all, but thankfully she didn't see anything else other than him smacking it when I got up."

 

Niall left an hour later still laughing and ready to tell Zayn the big news once he was back from the summer orientation at the new school he was going to teach English to teenagers. He had finally found a job that would pay more and Niall was grateful since now they were going to need it, he just prayed to get that promotion after the last sound engineer had resigned.

 

~*~

 

"Blondie I'm back!" Zayn shouted closing the door behind him dumping his bag on the couch.

 

"Hey." Niall walked in wearing baggy clothes of Zayn's holding onto the ultrasound picture in his pocket.

 

"Are you cold?" Zayn asked giving him a quick kiss then made him sit next to him on the couch wrapping his arms around him.

 

"No. I need to tell you something." Niall mumbled.

 

"What is it?"

 

"Do you remember when we said we were going to wait at least two years to have a baby? Do you still want any?" Niall asked hiding his face on Zayn's chest.

 

"Yes and yes, I still want to have a few kids. Why are you asking?" Zayn kissed the top of his head wondering what his silly husband was up to now.

 

Niall's hand was shaking when he took the picture out and gave it to Zayn who took it and froze staring at the ultrasound picture with 'Niall Malik' printed on the top left corner and two gray dots labeled as baby a and baby b. He felt his eyes stinging with tears before they overflowed with unshed tears and hugged Niall tighter yet he was still careful not to hurt him and their babies.

 

"We're- we're going to be parents...this- this is the best news I've ever gotten. I'm gonna be a dad." Zayn let the happy tears fall pulling away to pepper Niall's face with kisses laughing and crying at the same time.

 

"We are...I hope it's a boy and a girl." Niall gave him a watery smile.

 

"You're what? 3 months? I can't wait, we have to tell everyone." Zayn gently stroked Niall's tummy smiling wider when he felt a tiny bump.

 

"Louis already knows...I was kinda freaking out 'cause I thought you were going to be mad at me but he made me feel better." Niall looked down.

 

"Babe, I would never be mad at you. You and these babies are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you so much, I love all three of you." Zayn said kneeling down in front of Niall lifting his shirt up to kiss his tummy.

 

"I love you too." Niall smiled, his eyes filling with tears.

 

That night Zayn went crazy calling his and Niall's families to tell them the great news loving how his mum and Maura were already planning to knit a few things for the babies and how excited his father was looking forward to a baby boy and Niall's father to a baby girl.

 

~*~

 

Louis was sitting on the floor with Evan while Logan was asleep watching him crawl around him then trying to climb on his lap wanting a cuddle getting one from Buttercup too when he heard Harry's voice calling for him. As soon as Harry walked in Louis motioned for him to stop a few feet away from them then picked up Evan putting him down on all fours never losing his bright smile kissing his son's temple.

 

"Call him, make him go to you." Louis said watching Harry crouching down and putting his stuff next to him.

 

"Hey buddy! Come give daddy a cuddle." Harry opened his arms and when Evan just stared Harry grabbed his teddy bear and showed it to him still calling for him.

 

His smile widened when he started crawling to him stopping a few times until he was right in front of him where he picked him up and kissed all over his tiny face chuckling when Evan grabbed his nose and pushed him away.

 

"When did he started crawling, what happened to his forehead?" Harry asked getting up with him in his arms checking his forehead.

 

"I left him in his walker to go get the door and when I came back he was following Logan around, she took him out of it. I think he forgot he had to use his arm and poor thing fell face first into the carpet." Louis explained getting up to give Harry a quick kiss.

 

"My poor baby, that must've hurt." Harry cupped his head hugging him tighter.

 

An hour later when Logan woke up and got lots of kisses from Harry they went to the backyard where she played on her new playground set as Buttercup tried to follow her around while Louis and Harry sat on the grass keeping an eye on her and Evan who as soon as he had gotten the hang of crawling there was no one stopping him anymore and literally crawled everywhere. Louis leaned against Harry as he wrapped his arm around him kissing the side of his head feeling Evan's tiny hands on the top of his thighs taking the teddy bear he offered to them then lifted his arms up wanting to be picked up.

 

When Logan got tired of running around she took a seat on Harry's lap letting Buttercup sit next to her as all three of them watched the sunset. Louis felt the happiest man alive thankful to have the family he had always wanted with the only person he had always and would always truly love. In that moment Harry finally felt free and at peace with himself, he was finally able to love himself once again and allowed himself to believe he deserved them after all. Just like Louis had done a while ago, his lost and wandering soul had finally found the consolation it needed to heal itself just like Louis' own one as he wrapped his arms around all three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_n9ulumeMku1t5d5rao1_500_zpsc5882cf8.jpg.html)   
> 
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> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_n9ulumeMku1t5d5rao1_500_zpsc5882cf8.jpg
> 
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> Thoughts? :)


	40. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it you guys! Please read the note at the end, it's very important. Enjoy! :)

The weeks passed by surprisingly fast for everybody. Louis had gotten the job and was to start the upcoming school year in august and since Anna could no longer babysit both kids due to a new job in Manchester. He had no choice but to put Evan in a daycare thankful that Logan could stay with him for the other half of the day. He and Harry had decided on taking turns to pick him up hoping that his separation anxiety would go away by the time Louis was to start working or they'll be in big trouble.

 

After Niall and Zayn had officially announced the pregnancy everybody was ecstatic and couldn't wait to meet the babies teasing Zayn about really knocking him up laughing every time he would proudly nod always fawning over Niall's bump that only kept getting bigger. Whenever he had time Niall would spend it with Louis since he was the only one who could understand what he was going through hating that it was too early into the pregnancy and he was already too hormonal.

 

~*~

 

"Harry...the baby." Louis mumbled shaking Harry a bit when he heard Evan crying through the monitor.

 

Instead of getting up like usual Harry only made himself more comfortable throwing an arm around Louis bringing him closer to him nuzzling his face on his neck while Evan screamed his lungs out and Louis tried to get up. While Harry had the day off, Louis and Logan had to get up early to go to school for their first days while Harry was supposed to stay with Evan then pick Logan up at the end of her day.

 

He finally set himself free then walked upstairs picking Evan up who whimpered once he was in Louis' arms, he changed his diaper and as soon as he put him down he started crying again until Louis got tired and picked him up again going back to his bedroom with him. He laid down on his back placing Evan's head on top of his chest humming a lullaby until he fell asleep too tired to put him in between Harry and himself. When his alarm woke him up at seven Evan and Harry were no longer in bed but could smell the French toast and faintly hear Harry talking to even telling him what he was cooking and how was he making it hearing Evan babbling in response. With a smile on his face he got up to get Logan and himself ready for the day.

 

"Good morning, morning sunshine." Louis kissed Harry's lips then Evan's forehead before putting a still sleepy Logan on the chair where she started eating her favorite food in the world.

 

"Morning! Are you actually awake bug?" Harry chuckled kissing the top of her head taking a seat next to Evan's high chair.

 

"Daddy says I have the same class with Alex, Lux, and Tabitha but we don't have Mrs. Teasdale anymore." Logan sadly said drinking her chocolate milk.

 

"But you have Mrs. Moore and she's really nice." Louis said making silly faces at Evan.

 

"And she's pretty." Logan nodded.

 

"What are you two doing today?" Louis asked Harry.

 

"We are going shopping later today and then be lazy for the rest of the day. Right Evan, we're gonna watch tv all day long in just our underwear...and diaper." Harry reached to pull the hair out of his forehead kissing the tip of his nose while the baby just stared with a blank expression.

 

"Calm down, don't get too excited." Harry chuckled.

 

"When is he going to walk?" Logan asked looking at her brother's chubby legs then at Louis and Harry.

 

"When he's ready love, he's still too little." Louis automatically answered already used to get random questions hearing her sighing.

 

"If you guys don't hurry up you're gonna be late." Harry looked at the clock laughing when both Louis and Logan ate faster.

 

As soon as they were ready Louis kissed Harry then held Evan for a bit not wanting to let him go just yet and when he did he was glad he didn't cry until he got in the car and left. After Harry had cleaned the kitchen and done the beds he changed Evan and himself out of their pajamas then packed Evan's diaper bag leaving a few minutes later to shop for a new laptop after Logan had spilled water on his old one then for groceries they needed. 

 

It went easier than he thought smiling when all the women instead of flirting with him would coo at Evan who was wearing a tiny grey fedora hat that Louis just hated but Harry loved then they would tell him what a precious and handsome baby he had. Later that day after picking Logan up they waited for Louis until he got home telling Harry all about his day and how great his students were. Harry absolutely loved seeing Louis smile finally doing what he liked to do and was passionate about as he kept telling him he couldn't wait to go back the next day.

 

After that day their routine consisted on both of them taking turns to get each child ready then Harry would take Evan to drop him off at the daycare happy that he didn't cry too fascinated with all the toys and other kids. He would take him with him if he only had to do paperwork while Louis had Logan going straight home after school was over or drive to the daycare to pick Evan up if Harry wasn't done with work by then.

 

August and september passed by when Evan at already eleven months began to stand up on his own but as soon as anyone would get close he would sit back down again, giggle then crawl away as fast as he could sometimes hitting himself on the head and would cry until Logan would cuddle him. Of course not everything was rainbows and unicorns for them when Logan who had been jumping on the trampoline Harry had gotten her even though Louis had not agreed to buying it slipped and fell on the hard ground hearing a crack when she landed on her wrist right under their noses.

 

Harry had immediately picked her up to see how badly injured her wrist was when Louis left Evan sitting on the grass then snatched her away from his arms completely pissed off at him as she cried. They argued the entire drive to the hospital while Logan cried followed by Evan already overwhelmed with her cries. A few hours later she was allowed to go home with a cast around her broken wrist to help it heal and keep her from moving it. 

 

That night Louis had slept away from Harry on his side of the bed with his back to him until the middle of the night when he slowly moved to Harry's side after trying to fall asleep but failing. He rested his head on Harry's chest throwing an arm around him hoping for Harry to wake up smiling when Harry still asleep wrapped his arms around him and moved around to be more comfortable. The next day Louis was glad it was a Saturday and stayed in bed with Harry spooning him until Logan walked in wanting to continue sleeping with them and minutes later Harry left the room coming back with Evan.

 

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." Louis mumbled against Logan's head trying to keep her hand comfortable.

 

"You were just upset, don't worry about it." Harry said rubbing Evan's back when he kept moving around on his chest trying to get comfortable.

 

"Don't do that Harry." Louis sighed lifting his head up to look at Harry.

 

"Do what?"

 

"Let me get away with things, just admit I was a jerk and I blamed you for something that was out of your control." Louis reached for Harry's hand intertwining their fingers together.

 

"Louis..." Harry sighed.

 

"Don't do that Harry. Admit that sometimes I'm a shitty person and I get annoying, admit I'm a jerk when I yell at you for no reason."

 

"Okay fine, you were a jerk last night but it was my fault for leaving her alone." Harry finally admitted it making Louis feel a bit better.

 

"I know I said it was your fault but it wasn't and I'm sorry, they're bound to fall and get hurt at some point in their lives and we can't do anything about it other than take care of them and make sure they're okay. Forgive me?" Louis said leaning down to kiss Harry when he smiled.

 

"I love you angel." Harry mumbled still smiling.

 

"I love you too cookie." Louis smiled.

 

"Cookie? I thought I was sexy." Harry laughed.

 

"You're sexy only in special occasions, right now I want us to be cute so I called you cookie."

 

"Okay...cutie." Harry said then gritted his teeth when Evan pulled on his hair.

 

Logan was still upset at having to wear a cast until with Louis' permission Mrs. Moore suggested her classmates sign it and after school Logan proudly showed her signed cast to her daddies.

 

~*~

 

The following weekend they were invited to Zayn and Niall's flat for the big reveal of the twins gender and to spend time together, after making sure they had everything they headed out taking forever to get ready. By the time they got there Liam and Eleanor were already there and immediately everyone gave their attention to Logan and Evan.

 

"Look at you cupcake, such a brave girl." Zayn picked her up kissing her cheek letting a six month pregnant Niall kiss her cheek too.

 

"Are you feeling better?" Niall asked almost out of breath taking a seat on the couch and rubbing circles on his huge belly.

 

"Yes. Do they kick like Bubbie?" Logan asked sitting next to Niall smiling when he placed her hand on top of it feeling them kick a bit.

 

"They like to kick a lot, all the time." Niall smiled as Louis watched him seeing just how happy he was.

 

"Are they boys too?" She asked again.

 

"That's what we wanted to talk about cupcake." Zayn said as he made grabby hands at Evan who was in Eleanor's lap trying to reach for her hair.

 

"Please tell me there's a girl in there." Eleanor pleaded handing Evan to Zayn.

 

"And a boy." Niall smiled waiting for it.

 

"You mean one of each, a boy and a girl?" Eleanor squealed then flailed her arms around when Niall nodded pouting when Liam gently grabbed them to stop her.

 

"Congratulations! I bet Yaser and Bobby are extremely happy with the news. Have you thought of any names yet?" Louis asked moving Evan's car seat over to the side with his foot.

 

"After thinking it through for a whole day we decided on Jeremy Austin and Chloe Elyssa, Zayn picked her name." Niall said feeling Zayn wrapping an arm around his shoulder noticing Evan looking at his belly.

 

He smiled when the baby gave him a smile showing him his two tiny bottom front teeth then lightly patted the top of his stomach babbling nonsense.

 

"Yeah, that's Jeremy and Chloe in there. They're gonna be your friends and they're gonna play with you and your sister when they get older." Zayn cooed at him kissing his temple.

 

"When are they due?" Liam asked as he exchanged silly faces with Logan and Harry just smiled shaking his head running his fingers through Louis' hair.

 

"Around January. I want to keep them in as long as I can since its better for them, I don't want them to be too premature." Niall said hoping to make it that far.

 

"Three more months! Are you ready?" Harry asked.

 

"I think we are, we already set up the nursery and all we're doing is waiting." Zayn smiled putting Evan down on the floor to let him crawl around.

 

They watched him crawl away and stop in front of the end table where he held onto the edge and slowly got up with wobbly legs trying to reach for a piece of candy that seemed to be everywhere since Niall had a craving for sweets and once he had it secured in his hand he dropped back down on his bum ready to put it in his mouth when Harry shot up from the couch quickly taking it away making him cry. 

 

He pouted looking up at Harry then cried louder looking at Louis until Harry picked him up cradling him against his chest and as soon as he was next to Louis he gave him his pacifier and teddy bear calming him down a bit as he wrapped his arms around Harry's neck trying to climb his stomach with his tiny feet until his knees were resting on his chest and his bum was sticking out while Harry had his arm under it supporting his weight.

 

"That's the cutest thing I've ever seen! Let me take a picture." Niall gushed smacking Zayn's arm to get his phone then took the picture quickly sending it to Louis who smiled.

 

"He's such a cuddler, aren't you son? Harry cooed rubbing his back.

 

"I like to cuddle too daddy." Logan frowned getting up from the couch taking a seat next to Harry feeling left out.

 

"You do and I love your cuddles." Harry smiled scooping her up too so she was next to Evan careful not to hurt her wrist.

 

"That's cute too." Niall nodded to himself taking another picture of the three of them then another with Louis included sending them to him after.

 

They left later that day after they signed Logan's cast and Zayn had drawn all over using his impressive collection of Sharpies making it look colorful just like the sleeve tattoo he had when Logan insisted she wanted to be like him and who was Zayn to deny her that when his heart melted at the confession.

 

********

 

Halloween night Logan was excited to go trick-or-treating with Alex, Lux and Tabitha wanting to take Evan too who was dressed up in a kitten costume, whiskers and all drawn on his face but by the time it was time to go he had fallen asleep in his playpen in the keeping room.

 

She was dressed up as an angel wearing a long white tunic complete with white feathery wings, a harp and a halo over her head wearing her long hair down in beautiful and perfectly styled curly waves making her look completely angelic. Lux and Tabitha had chosen to dress up as Alice in wonderland and Cleopatra while Alex was dressed as Hawkeye running around in Harry and Louis' driveway shouting that he was going to protect the ladies and shoot bad guys with his plastic arrows while Brian ran after him to keep him away from the road.

 

Harry along with Tom and Steven, Tabitha's dad, ran after their daughters when they took off running to catch up to Alex while Louis stayed home with Lou, David and Solange. They laughed remembering when Louis walked into the office screaming at her then she covered her face chuckling and saying she was a bitch back then but was glad they had given her and her family another chance because her daughter had the best three friends anyone could ever ask for.

 

"I seriously admire her Louis, she has such a big and compassionate heart." Solange quietly said not wanting to wake up Evan.

 

"What matters is that they're friends now and hopefully they will for many years to come." Louis smiled.

 

"I hope those kiddos aren't giving them much trouble." Lou sighed.

 

"Four adults and four kids, I think they have it all under control." David chuckled not knowing the chaos going on five houses down.

 

******

 

"Alexander Peterson, you get back here this instant or so help me God..." Brian didn't get to finish his sentence when Alex rolled his eyes and ran back to him while Harry struggled with Logan.

 

"Daddy it looks ugly, fix it." Logan whined hanging from Harry's legs as he tried to lift his leg to keep walking and keep up with the other adults.

 

"Logan, I already told you it looks fine." Harry sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

She had accidentally knocked her halo off pulling her hair with it then after Harry had tried to fix it leaving it a little off to the side and a few bumps on her hair she had narrowed her eyes at him knowing it wasn't placed correctly like Louis had done it.

 

"No, it's ugly!" Logan burst out crying taking the halo off and throwing it at Harry's face who managed to catch it before it could hit him then pulled Logan away from his leg grabbing her by the shoulders crouching down to her level as she cried while Lux and Tabitha held hands watching with wide eyes.

 

"Do you want to go home? I have no problem taking you back if you don't behave while your friends get more candy and you get none." Harry threatened trying not to lose the last bit of patience he had left.

 

"No, daddy I don't want to go home!" Logan cried rubbing her left eye with her fist.

 

"Then behave. You go around telling everyone you're a big girl so act like one or I'm taking you back home." Harry said putting the halo back on her head as best as he could.

 

"Okay...I'm sorry daddy." Logan hicupped letting him fix it then after he kissed her forehead she ran to the other two girls getting in between them to hold their hands just as Alex grabbed Lux's hand.

 

"I need to exercise more often." Brian commented still holding onto his chest.

 

"A few more houses and we go ba- Lux put that back where you found it...no don't put it in your bag." Tom ran ahead to take it away from her seeing it was a piece of candy still wrapped then got rid of it to keep other kids from picking it up.

 

"Is Logan okay?" Steven asked keeping an eye on Tabitha who was skipping around with the rest of the kids as Tom made his way back.

 

"Yeah, she just three a tantrum because she didn't liked the way I fixed her halo." Harry shrugged following them to one of the houses where the nice old lady Mrs. Smith gave them enough candy to fill their bags cooing at the kids especially Logan who she was fond of as well as Evan.

 

"And where did you leave your brother, Miss. Logan?" Mrs. Smith asked as she filled their bags with candy smiling as she did so already planning to turn off all the lights and go to bed.

 

"Bubbie's sleeping in his cage 'cause he's still a baby and can't eat candy but daddy Louis dressed him up as a kitty and he said hi." Logan babbled as Mrs. Smith chuckled.

 

"Well, tell your Bubbie I said hi. Bye kiddos, have fun." Mrs. Smith smiled waving at the four adults.

 

After going to two more houses they headed back home where as soon as they walked through the door Louis put Evan in his crib closing the door to keep the kids from waking him up taking the monitor with him to be able to hear him. He had managed to change him into his pajamas and wipe off the whiskers Lou had drawn with her eyeliner without waking him up considering it a success high fiving Harry on their way back to the keeping room. As soon as the clock hit 10:30 Louis and Harry were passed out after the long day and spending time with the other parents letting the kids have fun before bedtime.

 

~*~

 

Evan's first birthday got there faster than Louis would've liked and as he got him ready for the small birthday party he and Harry had thrown for him he tried to fight the urge of tearing up realizing his babies were growing way too fast because according to him it hadn't even being that long since he had given birth to Evan. He then sadly smiled looking at him as he chewed on the ear of his teddy bear and smiled up at him not wanting to think about them as rebellious teenagers missing curfew and doing all the stuff teenagers did and instead picked his baby up kissing his forehead and walked down to the dining room where everyone else was.

 

"Here's the birthday boy!" Louis cheered lightly bouncing him up and down as he walked in through the door just as everybody shouted an enthusiastic happy birthday. 

 

He put him in his high chair at the head of the table placing a chocolate cake with a single light blue candle in front of him then he and Logan stood next to him on his right while Harry was ready to take hundreds of pictures until Gemma held her hand out for it then lightly pushed him towards them once it was in her hands. He stood next to him on his left quickly kissing the side of his head before wrapping his arm around them while Louis hugged both kids, all four smiled when Anne managed to make Evan look at the camera and smile then stared at the candle after Louis light it up as everyone sang the happy birthday song to him.

 

After they finished Logan helped him blow out the candle then hugged him kissing all over his face until he decided he had had enough of her kissing and pushed her away. He squirmed around wanting to get out of his chair then started whining until Lottie picked him up.

 

"Look at you!" Jay chuckled when Lottie walked up to her with Evan seeing his face covered in chocolate frosting then cleaned it up with a wet paper towel Anne gave to her.

 

Logan ran around with the twins and her friends outside in the backyard followed by Buttercup under Gemma and Ashton's careful watch finally without her cast that had been removed a day before while Lottie and Felicite busied themselves on trying to teach Evan how to walk praising him every time he would take a few steps instead of letting himself fall forcing them to pick him up. After his first ever birthday party was over and millions of pictures were taken the whole family spent time together before going to bed then went home the following afternoon.

 

~*~

 

Christmas was spent in Doncaster where Harry managed to give Louis the best birthday sex without waking up his parents or the kids. He had Louis laying down on his stomach with his face buried on the pillow and his own face on the back of Louis' sweaty neck trying not to make much noise as he pounded into him and all he could hear coming from Louis were the tiny breathy moans. Louis surprised Harry when he propped himself up on his knees to give Harry more access feeling him going deeper hitting his spot with every thrust just like he liked it. It only took four more thrusts before Louis was coming all over the towel they had placed underneath him and Harry into the condom deep inside of Louis.

 

They dressed back into their pajamas then fell asleep cuddling together after unlocking the door then woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes and their kids being loud in the kitchen. After eating breakfast they opened their Christmas presents then watched Christmas movies for the rest of the day drinking hot chocolate and a few days later went home to spend new year's eve with their friends.

 

~*~

 

"Daddy. Can you say daddy. Da-ddy." Harry repeated the word over and over again as he fed his son sitting in front of him.

 

"Bababa!" Evan screamed clapping his hands waiting for another spoonful of baby cereal.

 

"Daddy curly. Daddy daddy daddy daddy." Harry insisted chuckling when Evan only stared then focused his attention on Louis and Logan when they walked into the kitchen still wearing pajamas.

 

"He'll talk when he's ready babe." Louis said kissing the top of Harry's head running his fingers through his hair that kept getting longer then turned to Evan. "Can you say daddy Louis, or daddy Lou. Daddy Lou, daddy Lou."

 

"Hey...what happened to he'll talk when he's ready babe." Harry pouted putting down the small bowl and spoon grabbing a napkin to clean Evan's mouth.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Louis raised his eyebrows as he fixed their breakfast.

 

"I don't think he's going to say it anytime soon." Harry sighed getting up taking the bowl and spoon to rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher.

 

"Patience Harold." Louis said watching Logan standing in front of her brother's high chair with his tiny hands on hers as she whispered to him surprised to see Evan not making a noise.

 

"What are you two plotting, huh?" Harry crouched down next to Logan giving her a kiss on the cheek.

 

"I'm teaching Bubbie to say my name." Logan informed him never taking her eyes off of Evan.

 

"I don't think he will for a little while bug, he's still too little." Harry smiled wanting to laugh when she looked at him with narrowed eyes.

 

"Logan, I'm Logan." She pointed to herself looking at the baby. "Logan loves you Bubbie...want to play with Logan?" She asked kissing the tiny knuckles.

 

" 'Ogan." Evan almost whispered it surprising both Louis and Harry.

 

They looked at him then at her who smiled looking up at them raising her eyebrows rather mockingly before she went back to only paying attention to Evan. They listened to her telling him all the plans she had for the day to spend time with him always referring to herself in third person smiling when Evan would say her name over and over again reaching to lightly pat her cheeks then giggle.

 

"He said Logan...can't say daddy but Logan is no problem for him." Louis said as soon as Harry got up to stand next to him.

 

"How did she...I'm just gonna eat." Harry mumbled having his bowl to take it back to the breakfast bar.

 

Logan spent the rest of the morning saying her name smiling every time Evan would say it back then would look at her parents with a smug expression before going back to what she was doing.

 

********

 

New year's eve was spent in Niall and Zayn's flat since an almost nine month pregnant Niall couldn't move around much without tripping on his own feet. Logan had given him three kisses, one on his cheek and two on his stomach for each baby fascinated with the fact that he had two babies instead of one. All she talked about was Chloe and all the pretty dresses, shoes, and bows Niall had for her then turned around to Louis asking for a baby sister smiling when Louis told her that maybe later when Evan was older, something that didn't go unnoticed by everyone in the room especially Harry.

 

"Harry I think he's about to walk!" Louis shouted from the living room while everyone except Niall and Logan were in the kitchen.

 

He wanted to laugh when he heard their loud footsteps and seconds later they stood in the sidelines watching Evan's every move while Zayn had his phone out recording everything. Louis was sitting on the couch ready to catch Evan who was a few feet away from him standing up on his own looking at his sister following her with his eyes when she got up and ran across the room to Liam wanting him to pick her up.

 

Evan looked between Harry and Louis before taking a shaky step towards Louis then a few more falling down on his hands and knees and instead of crying like Louis expected he got up again and walked the last few steps to Louis who caught him in his arms kissing all over his face. Evan was a giggling mess bouncing up and down in Louis' arms just by hearing everyone cheering and praising him then screamed Logan's name when she tickled his sides and kissed him as everyone laughed at the fact that he could say Logan but not daddy. Later that night Logan and Evan were asleep in Zayn and Niall's bed cuddling each other while the adults waited for the new year counting down from ten shouting happy new year sharing a kiss with their significant other.

 

~*~

 

Zayn's birthday was celebrated the same day and just when Louis had stepped into his own house putting Evan down that ever since he had first walked now loved to walk everywhere instead of letting them carry him and just loved to chase after Logan. He watched him trying to run after her falling down and getting up again while Harry walked behind him when his phone went off. He answered it to hear a frantic Zayn telling him Niall had gone into labour then heard Niall cussing Zayn out and after telling him everything was going to be okay and that they'll be there the next day he rushed into the house to see what his kids and the bigger kid were up to.

 

He found them downstairs in the playroom where Harry was sitting on the carpet in the middle of the room while Logan tied his hair up into many pigtails telling him how pretty he looked and Evan walked around in just a diaper and tiny sneakers shoes holding his teddy bear and a Barbie sucking on his pacifier.

 

"What's going on in here?" Louis asked picking up a sleepy Evan when he clumsily walked up to him holding his hands up dropping the Barbie on his way up.

 

"Makeover." Harry shrugged passing a bow of his choice to Logan who thanked him.

 

"Okay...Zayn called to let us know Niall's in labour and now that I think about it he'll probably share his birthday with the twins." Louis walked around picking up Evan's clothes to dress him up again.

 

"Daddy what's labour?" Logan asked brushing Harry's hair frowning when she found a knot.

 

"Labour is what we call it when someone's gonna have a baby." Louis explained.

 

"Uncle Niall's having the babies now?" She asked already excited to hold Chloe.

 

"Yup, and we're gonna go see them tomorrow." Louis smiled.

 

"How's Niall doing? Is Zayn okay?" Harry asked.

 

"He said they're doing fine." Louis answered looking around for Evan's pants.

 

"Daddies, I want ice cream." Logan sighed finishing what she was doing then climbed on Harry's lap wanting a cuddle that Harry happily gave.

 

"Okay but just a bit." Harry got up with her in his arms.

 

"Daheys." Evan mumbled making both parents stop what they were doing.

 

"He said daddies, please tell me he said daddies." Harry rushed over to them looking down at Evan laying on the couch sucking on his thumb.

 

"He said daddies...can we go get ice cream now?" Logan sighed just wanting her ice cream.

 

"Daheys!" Evan said it louder trying to get up whining when Louis picked him up and was hugged by all three of them jumping around in a circle.

 

The next day after school they made their way through the hospital hallways and knocked on Niall's room hearing Zayn's voice telling them to come in. They were greeted by a happy and tired Niall and Zayn as well as two quiet babies wrapped in a blue and pink blanket. Louis gave Evan to Harry then hugged the new happy parents congratulating them before walking to the plastic bassinets.

 

"Look at them, they're precious." Louis gushed looking down at the two sleeping babies.

 

"They take after Zayn but he won't believe me." Niall said nodding when Louis asked if he could hold them watching as he picked Chloe up.

 

"They definitely do...and look, hair as dark as Zayn's." Louis said putting her hat back on doing the same with Jeremy.

 

"Uncle Niall, can I hold her?" Logan shyly asked them walked up to Louis when Niall nodded.

 

She held Chloe longer than Jeremy before giving him back then went to sit by Harry and Evan as Louis insisted that they looked like Zayn telling him they had almost gotten his skin color but were close to it, had the same lips and hair color gasping in surprise when they opened their eyes for a brief moment revealing a bright blue.

 

"Did Eleanor came to meet them?" Louis asked grabbing Evan.

 

"Yeah, she was here earlier today with Liam. She was so excited...even more when she found out they share a birthday with Zayn." Niall smiled looking at the pink and blue balloons and flowers that had multiplied with the one's Louis and Harry had given him.

 

"Best birthday ever." Zayn smiled.

 

After staying for more than an hour and Zayn had made arrangements with Harry to photograph the twins they said their goodbyes telling them they would see them later then went back home and cuddled together in bed watching a movie of Logan's choice letting them sleep with them when they didn't had the heart to move them. They were cuddled up next to each other and Harry couldn't resist taking a picture when Evan threw his leg over Logan and after he took it and had put away his camera he turned off the light and settled down in bed throwing an arm over their kids holding Louis' hand never wanting to let go.

 

"I love you Lou." Harry mumbled lifting his head up just when Louis did surprised when Louis kissed him.

 

"I love you more." Louis murmured against Harry's lips smiling when Harry lovingly caressed his cheek with his thumb bringing their foreheads together then after another gentle kiss they pulled apart laying back down on their spots close together.

 

Louis stared at the ceiling then the biggest smile appeared on his face thinking he couldn't ask for more because he had it all, he quickly glanced at Logan and Evan grateful to have them but at the same time he knew he wanted to have more kids someday in the future.

 

Two years ago he was used to walking around feeling empty with only Logan as his sun and stars doing it all for her careful not to break down even more at any given moment. Now that he had two children depending on him and Harry who love him and had loved him ever since they were children themselves even though he had been the one to break him in the first place he was now happy with everything he had.

 

Harry had been his downfall almost seven years ago but with time he had shown him he regretted every single thing he had done and said to him, had shown him he truly and unconditionally loved him, still does and would always do no matter what. Harry and their children were the reason he smiled everyday, the reason he loved his life surrounded by laughs, hugs and kisses. He turned around on his side wrapping his arm around them content and relieved that Harry had managed to sneak back into his life and had never stopped trying even after he tried to push him away so many times.

 

Now all he wanted was to be by his side and love the person he used to think would always be just a ghost of his past, someone he knew he had to forget but never found the will to do so. He wanted everything with him for the rest of his life and now that he had it he would always hold on to it with all his heart. Their love only grew stronger everyday with each day spent together and the many gentle touches and I love you's shared between them and if Louis was honest he would tell you he wouldn't have it any other way.

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://s1327.photobucket.com/user/JJM4587/media/tumblr_nabxpyOMtp1s44a1qo1_500_zps41f3cb0e.png.html)   
> 
> 
> Direct: http://i1327.photobucket.com/albums/u680/JJM4587/tumblr_nabxpyOMtp1s44a1qo1_500_zps41f3cb0e.png
> 
> So it's over. I hope you guys liked it...I gotta admit I teared up cause this story is my baby and now it's over. I want to thank every single one of you for reading, leaving cuddles and commenting in this story even though it would take me forever to update. 
> 
> A few things you guys should know. There will be two prequels and a sequel all one shots that I will be posting in this same book. I don't know when because I have a million one shots to finish but I will at some point.
> 
> Things you should know about this fic,
> 
> 1\. Evan wasn't meant to exist but I changed my mind and added him.
> 
> 2\. This fic wasn't meant to have a happy ending and I thought of two different endings for it through out the story.
> 
> A. Logan was supposed to be diagnosed with leukemia and Harry was going to be a donor to save her, during what was supposed to be a simple surgery his heart was going to fail and he was supposed to die. Louis was supposed to forgive him at the end during his funeral and move on with his life always loving Harry and always telling a now cancer free Logan about him.
> 
> B. Everything that happened except that at the end Louis was supposed to wake up in a mental hospital realizing it had all been a dream in a moment of clarity. He finds out Harry did killed himself but not during Logan's birth but before and that he did lost Logan after drinking that tea. He was devastated by it that he went back looking for Harry wanting another baby finding out Harry killed himself. He goes crazy and makes up the story you guys read and the reason Logan looks so much like Harry is because he made it out to be that way. The end was supposed to be Jay crying and watching him rocking a rag doll humming a lullaby then would turn to an imaginary Harry asking him, "Isn't she beautiful, Harry?" and in his mind Harry was supposed to answer "She's gorgeous Lou." and Louis would smile at him.
> 
> Horrible, I know. But I wanted to give you a happy ending because I thought it wouldn't be fair for you guys and that ending is the real ending. Thank you so much for reading guys.


End file.
